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10 HOTTEST MOVIE MOMS
Thursday, May 7 by
It's Mother's Day on sunday, and Screenjunkies is saluting the top ten movie moms from whom we wouldn't mind receiving a spanking. Deciding this was difficult. We pored over days' worth of DVDs… held focus groups in top secret testing facilities underneath Beverly Hills… and even phoned our Dads to get their opinions. What resulted is this list – a virtual who's who of cinematic MILFage from the past twenty years. You may not agree with them as your personal ten, but you can't deny that if any of them were your mother… then you probably have/had a lot of friends ask to spend the night at your place in high school.Send in the MOMS!!! HALLE BERRY as Leticia Musgrove in Monster's Ball
‘STAR TREK’ STARLET: JENNIFER MORRISON
Thursday, May 7 by
Star Trek officially opens tonight and Mother's Day is Sunday. How appropriate, then, that we introduce you to Jennifer Morrison, who plays Winona Kirk, the mother of Capt. James Tiberius Kirk, in JJ Abrams' film. There are several different backstories associated with the character, but no matter what reality you buy into as a Trekker, you can't deny Jennifer's practically playing the mother of god. Where you've seen her before: She's probably most familiar as Dr. Allison from Fox's "House" series, but she's also played Jamie in Grind, Amy in Urban Legends: Final Cut, and Chris in a small 2004 film called Mall Cop, whose makers probably hate their lives right now.Random Quote: "My resume for Cameron has me graduating medical school the year I graduated junior high.”See pictures of Jennifer after the jump:
SCRUBS RECAP: MY FINALE PT. 2
Thursday, May 7 by
In the Scrubs series finale tears are shed, laughs are shared, confessions are made, disputes are resolved, and hugs that should have been distributed years ago are finally given. Morning SexJ.D.’s finale begins in the same place his career with Sacred Heart began eight years ago. He wakes this morning next to Elliot and thinks back to his first day and all the things that happened then. He remembers hiding with Elliot in the supplies closet, Kelso’s first unkind words to him, and the time Janitor accused him of sticking a penny in the door, sealing it shut. J.D. tries to use the fact that it’s his last d ay to score some morning sex, but Elliot isn’t having it. She tells him that she moved her bed into his apartment, and J.D. realizes that she’s been “sneak-moving” into his new place. Eventually, J.D. gets his morning sex. Bitter Roast
‘STAR TREK’ REVIEW
Thursday, May 7 by
“Star Trek” has been lying on the emergency room table for a good 10 years now, finally flat-lining with the ultra-flop “Nemesis” back in 2003, and then being confirmed dead when the pitiable TV series “Enterprise” was cancelled in 2005. After having overcome cancellation, diminishing box office returns, and an increasingly maligned mythology only taken seriously by hardcore fanboys, “Star Trek” looked like it had finally breathed its last Enter JJ Abrams, who has retooled, rebooted, and re-energized this franchise into a slick, hip, action-packed and character-driven summer blockbuster that will bring in much-needed new fans and please plenty of hard-to-satisfy Trekkies. The hardcore fans won’t be happy, but then again, are they ever?
‘STAR TREK’ OPENS AT 7PM, PEOPLE!!!
Thursday, May 7 by
You want to see the new Star Trek, don't you? Don't you?!?! Ok then. Just Google 'star trek showtimes,' and pick from the lot. In the 25 mile radius of theatres around my house, Star Trek is being shown 89 times tonight between it's premiere at 7pm and the midnight screenings. Oh look–There's even a theater playing it every minute! Heck, why not avoid the costumed drunken Klingons and just see it at 3am tomorrow morning on IMAX? And what about you, Enterprise, AL? Or even you, 'Captain' Kirkland, WA? Bottom line, it's playing everywhere, all the the time. And it's going to kick ass. So get your damn tickets already (they're going fast).KHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!!In preparation for tonight's festivities, read our review of the film, or check out some Trek video delights after the jump:
DMX With A Bazooka Morning News
Thursday, May 7 by
io9 has uncovered a few clips from the awfulsome direct-to-DVD movie, Lockjaw. I've embedded one of the scenes below. It features DMX fighting a voodoo-created snake-alligator using only his wits and a bazooka. That synopsis is pretty much the tattoo that I was planning on getting. Just watch it already.Lockjaw – Watch more Funny VideosBill Maher uncovers the Susan Boyle sex-tape. (TV Squad) Kiefer Sutherland probably still drinking. (National Ledger) Rambo shirt will get you killed everywhere except Mexico. (Cinematical) Ninja trailer looks pretty all right. (Cinema Blend) Whatever Works poster highlights LD's junk. (First Showing)
LIKE MOTHER, LIKE SON! HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
Wednesday, May 6 by
Mothers Day Card 03 – Watch more Funny Videos
WHO’S LAUGHING AT WHO THIS MOTHER’S DAY?!
Wednesday, May 6 by
Mothers Day Card 02 – Watch more Funny Videos
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, FROM YOUR BIGGEST FAN!
Wednesday, May 6 by
Mothers Day Card 04 – Watch more Funny Videos
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, FROM YOUR ‘LITTLE SCREWUP!’
Wednesday, May 6 by
Mothers Day Card 01 – Watch more Funny Videos
SUCK ON MY SINATRA!
Wednesday, May 6 by
Give em Hell Malone Cannes Trailer – Watch more Funny VideosCheck out the Cannes trailer for Thomas Jane and Ving Rhames in Give 'em Hell, Malone, a Dashiell Hammet-inspired detective flick directed by Russell Mulcahey, who also helmed The Scorpion King 2, Resident Evil: Extinction and AC/DC: Family Jewels. The shameless title of this post is in reference to a character's line at about 1:54 in the clip, a line that has already solidified its place on a tee-shirt and bumper sticker somewhere, I'm sure. Frightening Star Trek Fans (Manofest) Lucy Pinder poses nude with Wolverine claws. (FilmDrunk) Supreme Court Nominee Effects Sports Law (MoonDogSports) Jenna Lee Fox Business Network Interview (WallStreetFighter) Frank The Tank Joins 'Neighborhood Watch' (Pajiba) Misty Dawns Spank Bank (GorillaMask) Awesome Star Wars Wedding (IAmBored) 10 Popular Porn Scenarios (Cracked) Transformers 2 News (filmofilia) Clash Of The Titans Set Pics (DreadCentral) Office Etiquette Instruction (HolyTaco) Kentucky Derby Bikini (BustedCoverage) Snow Monkeys Are Too Human Like (Uncoached) Ryan Reynolds Is DeadPool (Unreality) What To Do If You Notice You're On Fire (TomOatmeal) Doctor Parnassus Screens In L.A. (ThePlaylist) Dude Fails At Carnival Hammer (NothingToxic)
GARY COLEMAN IS A ‘BASTERD’
Wednesday, May 6 by
Well, another day, another Inglourious Basterds poster featuring another cast member being labeled a "Basterd." This time it's Diane Kruger… but we didn't want to use that as our main image, because we're feeling whimsical today. So here's a fake poster from our fantasy version of inglourious Basterds, in which a youthful Gary Coleman takes on the Nazis. Whatchutalkin'bout, Hitler?!See the real Diane Kruger poster (and the others released at this point) after the jump.
NATALIE PORTMAN MUM ABOUT ‘V FOR VAGINA’
Wednesday, May 6 by
If you haven't seen Zach Galifianakis's FunnyOrDie show, Between Two Ferns, you've been missing the internet's best talk show, period. In the new episode, the hirsute star of the upcoming Vegas comedy The Hangover (also starring likely Green Lantern Bradley Cooper and The Office's Ed Helms) waxes idiotically while interviewing Natalie Portman, who does her best not to crack up. She's a trooper. Watch the video after the jump, and see Mr. Galifianakis threaten to tie a Yorkshire Terrier's penis in a knot.
PORN STAR STORMY DANIELS TO RUN FOR U.S. SENATE?
Wednesday, May 6 by
There have been rumors floating around, but today, on CNN's "American Morning," anchored by Kiran Chetry, former porn star (and current adult film producer) Stormy Daniels was interviewed about her 'serious' potential candidacy for United States Senate. If it happens, she would be running in Louisiana against Republican Senator David Vitter, whom you may remember as being involved with the "D.C. Madame" and her prostitution ring back in '07. Embedded video from CNN Video Not sure what platform Daniels will run on, but if one does only a tiny bit of research (or opens the secret compartment in the air duct where one keeps one's pornography), it's easy to see that Daniels has had experience with several hot button issues of the day. She's seen action in the Persian Gulf with… She's brushed up on Foreign Relations with… And she's closely examined our broken health care system in… Seems like we're merely steps away from…
