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Brokeback Hat Sold Separately

Friday, June 18 by

I'm Jake! Howdy, howdy, howdy!

Judd Apatow Accompanies Leslie Mann On ‘Business Trip’

Friday, June 18 by

You got a problem, Judd?Leslie Mann is taking a Business Trip. The italics mean that's the title of a movie in which I'm slyly reporting she is attached to star. Actresses don't go on business trips, you guys. Unless they're also an entrepreneur of some sort. But that isn't the case in this instance.Mann's husband, super-producer Judd Apatow, will super-produce the film about "three women who go on a corporate trip but wind up doing anything but business while on company time." Yep. Drugs and sex. With their girl parts, which I hear from my older brother are pretty awesome. Or so he heard. (Vulture)

Hustler’s ‘Avatar’ Porno Will Blow Your Mind (and Other Things) In 3D

Friday, June 18 by

We're through the looking glass here, people. Hustler has announced that their upcoming sexxed-up take on Avatar, entitled This Ain't Avatar XXX will be jamming more than ponytails into orifices in pants-swelling 3D. Though it's not the world's first porno (that distinction belongs to Octopussy 3D: A XXX Parody and Whorrie Potter and the Sorcerer's Balls), it will be Hustler's most expensive.This idea scares the crap out of me. I really don't want to be naked except for a pair of 3D glasses. That's a rule that I've set for my life and one that I don't intend to break. It's on my bucket list of things not to do. And what would happen if you cross your eyes while wearing those things?!! I don't know and don't want to know!! (Huffington Post)

Bradley Cooper to Star in Retirement Home Baseball Movie

Friday, June 18 by

Disney is snatching up original pitches, and this latest one is a guaranteed homerun and/or strikeout. It comes from Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps scribe Allan Loeb with Bradley Cooper attached to star. THR has the stats:The dramedy centers on a baseball player who gets injured and has to go back to the minors where the only place he can find lodging is in a senior citizens' home. There, he meets an old baseball guru who helps lead him back.Does the film take place in a futuristic world where studio apartments with a partial view don't exist? Or does the stench of death drive the character's desire to succeed? I'm going to need a lot of logistics answered to step up to the plate for this one. For example, how many baseball puns can I use in one post before it starts to smell fowl? Ah sh*t, that's the wrong kind of fowl. I really fouled that one up. **Removes jock strap from head and cap from groin**

‘Scarface’ in 50 Seconds

Friday, June 18 by

This video is called Scarface in 5 Seconds but it's a lie. Regardless, it gave me the giggles and warrants repeat viewings. Apparently it's been around awhile but I haven't seen it so let's all pretend that it's new, like Ricky Martin's homosexuality. Pssst, Ricky. We knew. We knew. (DreadCentral)

‘Happy Town’ Actress Lauren German

Friday, June 18 by

Lauren German is a hot female movie heroine but with balls to boot, as she demonstrats in Hostel Part 2 when she cuts off a guy's balls. Catch her now on TV's "Happy Town" while ABC runs out the remaining episodes. A word from Lauren: "A drink offer is like a contract—it doesn’t mean you have to sleep with someone, but it does obligate you to talk to them."AND pretend be interested. Don't just like eye the bar for superior company or IM your friends about the loser you're talking to. We know, okay. And it hurts. Brush up on your German after the jump.

Heir Found for Jacques D’Azur: King of Cannes

Friday, June 18 by

After the excitement, confusion, and downright insanity of the legend that is Jacques D'Azur, an heir has finally been found. Amid extreme secrecy, Stella Artois 4% whisked him away to the Cannes Film Festival in order to represent his surrogate father. After a quick make over, Junior D'Azur (as we're calling him), dove straight into all that Cannes had to offer; enjoying leisurely speedboat rides, extravagant parties, and dinning in the best restaurants, setting the Mediterranean city alight with rumours of a new 'man of mystery'. In the first few days of settling into his newfound 'life of luxury', Junior D'Azur was tailed by a camera crew, and highlights of their time with him were recently released to the public. To prove that an heir exists? To profile a man whom some say could become the next Jacques D'Azur? Or just to make the rest of us jealous? Either way, Stella Artois 4% has given us a glimpse into the glamorous world of the Cannes Film Festival, and shown a man unflinching in his ability to enjoy the finer things in life. Wherever Jacques is (or isn't), we bet he's smiling and raising a toast to Junior D'Azur's future adventures. We'll keep you posted! Check out highlights from Cannes after the jump!

McG Wants Sam Worthington To Fight Chris Pine In ‘This Means War’

Friday, June 18 by

FIGHT!! FIGHT!! FIGHT!!The threat of seeing a Seth Rogen topless scene has been squashed… for now. Last we heard about McG's This Means War was that Seth Rogen and Chris Pine were up to play two former spies who destroy New York City while fighting for the hand of Reese Witherspoon. Now there's news that Chris Pine is on-board and Rogen is out, with the part now being offered to Sam Worthington.I think this could be pretty interesting casting. Worthington has mastered squinting in front of a green-screen, so let's see what he does with a comedy. Though, I am a little worried for Sam. He's making far too many movies and I'm afraid he's not getting enough sleep. How is he supposed to deal with the strain of keeping an American accent if his tongue doesn't get enough rest? (Vulture)

McAdams, Tatum Remaking ’50 First Dates’ But Calling it ‘The Vow’

Friday, June 18 by

Adorable Rachel McAdams has agreed to work with the very fly, fresh, cool Channing Tatum in The Vow, a love story that sounds exactly like the Adam Sandler comedy 50 First Dates. What, you don't believe me? Tell 'em, THR!"Vow" tells the real-life story of a newlywed New Mexico couple, played by McAdams and Tatum, who end up in a car crash. The wife is put in a coma, where she is cared for by her devoted husband. When she comes to, without any memory of her husband or their marriage, the husband woos her and attempts to wins her heart again.See! It's just like 50 First Dates, except without Rob Schneider in a mop wig. The project has been in development for more than a decade, but 50 First Dates came out six years ago, which is like four scores in Hollywood time, so the moment to strike is NOW. They could have at least turned the idea on its ear and put the husband in a coma. Tatum in a vegetative state would have been the wish fulfillment film of the decade.

Banglar King Kong

Friday, June 18 by

King Kong comes to Bangladesh in search of love, and takes it by force. Not unlike my night out at the LAX club last Saturday. I'm totally kidding, you guys! She was begging for it… (FilmDrunk)

Don Cheadle and Freida Pinto May Fight ‘Rise of the Apes’

Friday, June 18 by

We've previously reported that James Franco would be mandhandled by damn, dirty ape paws in the Planet of the Apes prequel Rise of the Apes. Today, there are more casting rumors floating around. Bloody Disgusting reports that offers have been made to Don Cheadle and Freida Pinto to join the fight against the CGI simians. There's no specifics offered about which roles the actors are being offered, but their presence alone should be enough to excite audiences. This project looks like it's really shaping up. And judging by this advance artwork I found, it's going to be a little bit of a madcap romp.

Alexander Skarsgard Sets Sail on ‘Battleship’

Friday, June 18 by

Dead in the water."True Blood" star Alexander Skarsgard is on board for the upcoming Universal film, Battleship. Skarsgard joins Taylor Kitsch in the adaptation of the iconic strategy game.To many, making a movie about a nautical-themed board game might seem a tad stupid. But for all you skeptics, there's one thing you should know. An "alien invasion" element has been added to the plot.Wow. It's beyond mockery. Congrats, Universal. You sunk my sarcasm. (Coming Soon)

Michael Fassbender Confirmed as Magneto in ‘X-Men: First Class’

Friday, June 18 by

I bet he's never heard an 'ass bender" joke before. I'm so clever!Michael Fassbender has been confirmed as Magneto in Fox’s upcoming prequel, X-Men: First Class. Fassbender will star along side James McAvoy who is already cast to play a young Charles Xavier.For those of you who don't know, Magneto (a.k.a. Eric Lensherr) was not always a villain, and was once good friends with Xavier. However, after a tragic fraternity hazing mishap involving a broom handle left Xavier confined to a wheel chair, the two became bitter rivals. (Cinema Blend)

Snoop Dogg + ‘True Blood’ = ‘Oh Sookie’ Music Video

Friday, June 18 by

Have you ever wondered what it'd be like if a major rap star decided to make a song about an HBO show and then posted the video on the internet? Well wonder no more friend, cause Snoop Dogg has got you covered. The legendary rapper's new music video, "Oh Sookie," has hit the interwebs. Set in Bon Temps, the song features characters from HBO's hit show, "True Blood," including everyone's favorite "Fang Banger," Sookie Stackhouse. While making a video based on a TV show might not be considered "gangsta," at least Snoop isn't stooping to Ice Cube-levels with a crappy sitcom on TBS (Very Funny…but not "Ha Ha funny…funny sad). Watch Snoop Dogg perform "Oh Sookie" after the jump.

Creepy Puppets Spread Parental Abuse Message

Thursday, June 17 by

Who better to convince children to rat on their touchy-feely parents than a trio of demonic dolls? Then the kids go cry to daddy about the scary puppets on TV and they get the belt again. Some marketing guru didn't think this PSA through very well.Don't make me tell you twice to click these links.What Do Comic Fans Think Of 'Jonah Hex' (Moviefone) 13-Foot Stay Puft Marshmallow Man Costume (Asylum) John Morris, The Voice of Andy In 'Toy Story' Speaks (PopEater) James Franco Really Likes Gay Stuff (FilmDrunk) Smoking Hot Marisa Miller Pictures (HolyTaco) "That Guy" Actor Of The Week: Joe Flaherty (Unreality) 10 Great Spoofs of the 'Psycho' Shower Scene (BroBible) Tiger Woods Love Child (TotalProSports) Hot California Gurls Pictures (Maxim) Rampage Blames Loss To Rashad (CagePotato) Justin Bieber Chatroulette (CelebJihad) 10 People You Don't Want At Your Pool Party (Smosh) The Pajiba 10 (1992 Edition) (Pajiba) Swat-Stickas (Atom) Anarchy In A Jam Jar (MadeMan) 5 People You Will Meet At The Beach This Summer (RegretfulMorning) 

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