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James Cameron Pees in ‘Piranha 3D’s’ Pool

Sunday, August 29 by

Hey, everybody! James Cameron has something important to say about the dangers of using 3D technology in an inappropriate manner, so listen up!
I tend almost never to throw other films under the bus, but (Piranha 3D) is exactly an example of what we should not be doing in 3-D. Because it just cheapens the medium and reminds you of the bad 3-D horror films from the 70s and 80s, like Friday the 13th 3-D. When movies got to the bottom of the barrel of their creativity and at the last gasp of their financial lifespan, they did a 3-D version to get the last few drops of blood out of the turnip.
First of all, comparing Piranha 3D to Friday the 13th Part III is like comparing Kim Kardashian to the cast of "The View." Both are incredibly stupid, but one is still fun to watch if you're in the mood (for porn). Piranha 3D knew what it was supposed to be, and it hit the mark. Critics agree, and its Rotten Tomatoes ranking rivals that of Avatar (not that the two movies should be compared). Why should a film that is meant to be nothing more than a fun, summer gore-fest be excluded from using 3D technology? Not every 3D film needs to be a smug, ham-fisted retread of Dances with Wolves.
Second, if you want to talk about squeezing blood from a turnip, how about Avatar Special Edition, which is charging fans roughly $15 dollars to see a movie that was still in theaters less than a year ago. Oh, let's not forget the eight minutes of extra footage, which comes out to about $2 per new minute. At the end of the day, if people want to pay $15 to see Avatar again, good for Cameron. But if those same people want to pay to see fish dismembering topless girls, who is he to judge? (Vanity Fair via Movie Line)

Ben Stiller Tweets ‘Zoolander 2′ Still Happening

Saturday, August 28 by

Back in February we reported that Justin Theroux was spending some time at Fashion Week in Paris doing research for his gig writing and directing the Zoolander sequel. It appears he's had his fill of brie-stuffed croissants and scantily clad models, and is back in The States collaborating with Ben Stiller. At least, that's what Stiller said via his Twitter account.
The question is, can you really trust the lead actor and executive producer on the film? And the answer to that question is yes. So for now, Zoolander 2 is moving along swimmingly with Jonah Hill still being eyed for the villain. No word yet if Owen Wilson will reprise his roll as Hansel, but Stiller has gone on record saying that the sequel couldn't be made without him. I assume that is due to Wilson being such an integral part of the Zoolander world, not because he has a penchant for spitefully burning down film sets. (/Film)

Photobomb Fridays: ‘The Exorcist’

Friday, August 27 by

They turned to the healing power of laughter.
Here are your weekend links.
13 Reasons Dolph Lundgren Is A Modern Renaissance Man (Moviefone)
Judge Resigns After At-Work Porn Stash Discovered (Asylum)
10 Most Violent Juggalo Attacks Ever (Ranker)
7 PC Alternatives To 'Beat Whitey Night' (HolyTaco)
Godard Is Missing (FilmDrunk)
We're On A Boat! (Maxim)
A Girl Pukes In Zero Gravity (BarStoolSports)
20 Things You Should Think You Know About: Tom Cruise (EgoTV)
20 Terrifically Terrible A-List Celebrity Movie Deaths (Pajiba)
The Laid Back Fellowship Of The Ring (Unreality)
Incredible Pass Leads To Great Soccer Goal (TotalProSports)
20 Epic Cardboard Robot Costumes (Smosh)
Top 10 Butts Shots On The Lovely Panties Tumblr Blog (BroBible)
Olivia Wilde Wears Ill-Fitting Bikini (CelebJihad)
James Toney Isn't A Fan Of A Lot Fighters (CagePotato)
Frankie Muniz Is Jealous Of Bryan Cranston (PopEater)
Spreadable Cocktail Hour (MadeMan)
The Best Of The Batch In A Very Lackluster Summer (Moviehopping)

Neil Marshall Has a Taste for Extreme Cuisine in ‘Underground’

Friday, August 27 by

Neil Marshall has signed on to direct Underground, a horror thriller writen by David Cohen. The film will take place in "the world of gourmet underground supper clubs."

That doesn't sound very scary. I've been to more than a few supper clubs in Wisconsin, and the only thing I found frightening was the brownswager (a.k.a. liverwurst) and a few of the more obese patrons. There has to be more to this story…and there is!

According to producers, "the protagonist is an ambitious young chef who ventures into the terrifying underbelly of extreme cuisine."

Holy crap, what are they cooking that's so extreme! Now I'm scared! Sort of. Actually, to be honest, I kind of have a taste for brownswager. But I'll settle for this soylent green imitation brownswager, instead. I wonder what it's made of. (Deadline)

John Cusack Playing Edgar Allan Poe Fo Sho in ‘The Raven’

Friday, August 27 by

Quoth the Raven, "Herpity derp!"
John Cusack has announced via his Twitter that he will be playing all around bad boy Edgar Allan Poe in James McTeigue's thriller The Raven. The movie won't be about a guy in a room who keeps hearing strange knocking (Cusack already did that in 1408), but instead "a serial killer thriller in which the famed horror author would have to solve clues of a string of murders based on his stories."
Considering Poe wasn't a stranger to smoking a boat-load of opium for inspiration, I wonder if they'll incorporate that character trait into the film. Nothing would give me more pleasure than watching John Cusack stumbling around 1850s Baltimore stoned out of his gourd on barbiturates. It would be like a really old school episode of "The Wire." (ComingSoon)

New Clip Proves ‘Machete’ Is the Greatest Achievement in Cinema History

Friday, August 27 by

In my life, I've been lucky enough to see some pretty amazing things. In grade school, I watched a kid break a calculator apart and eat it, piece by piece, in exchange for about three dollars worth of change. In high school, I saw Weird Al Yankovic perform twice. And in college, I finally saw a boob. But all of that pales in comparison to what you're about to witness.

This new extended clip (courtesy of IGN) proves that Machete is the greatest achievement in cinema history, if not human history. Not only does it contain the now famous "intestine scene" from previous trailers, but it also features hot nurses, someone getting shot in the head, and, to top it all off, an anal sex joke. Keep in mind, the clip is less than four minutes long. Just imagine what goes on in the rest of the film. All hail Machete! (Dread Central)

Watch the greatest achievement in cinema history after the jump…

Maria Bello Gets ‘Carjacked’ By Stephen Dorff

Friday, August 27 by

Don't just stand there, you guys! Do something!
Stephen Dorff is all set to carjack Maria Bello. No silly, the actor isn't turning to desperate measures, he's got an honest-to-goodness job. Carjacked revolves around “a single mother and her child who are carjacked by a thief who has no intention of letting them go.” Ron Perlman and Saffron Burrows were once set to play the jacker and jackee, but execs had a hard time believing anyone would stay in a car with Ron Perlman all night, even against their will. The man's a great actor, but me oh my, what a face.

Take the car, take the kid, whatever you want! Just stop breathing on me! (Collider)

Alex Kurtzman to Make Directorial Debut with Spielberg-Produced ‘Welcome to People’

Friday, August 27 by

Noted screenwriter and producer Alex Kurtzman is set to make his directorial debut with Welcome to People. The film is being produced by a man who, despite his influence in the industry, is not well known outside of Hollywood: director Steven Spielberg. Kurtzman first worked for Spielberg on his production of Transformers. While he has gone on to produce various TV shows, including "Fringe" and CBS's upcoming remake of "Hawaii Five-0," the director's chair has alluded him until now.

Welcome to People tells the story of a man whose estranged father dies, leaving instructions for his son to deliver $150,000 to a sister he never knew existed. The man wants to keep the money for himself, but can't help but investigate his long-lost sibling.

When my dad passed away, he left me $150 and stipulated that I should deliver it personally to my estranged second cousin while she was working at The Box Office, a gentlemen's club in the next town over. Well, he didn't really stimpulate it so much as he implied it by not specifically saying that I shouldn't. I miss you, dad. (Collider)

‘Machete’ Actress Michelle Rodriguez

Friday, August 27 by

The image of the ultimate bad-ass chick pops up every time the name Michelle Rodriguez is mentioned. Either when she's stealing cars in Fast & Furious, shooting zombies in Resident Evil, playing an Apache air pilot in Avatar, or getting arrested for punching someone's lights out, she is part legend, part actress and all tough babe. With Machete opening next Friday, M. Rod gets to send another kapow! to the kisser as the mysterious revolutionary fighter known as SHE.
A word from Michelle: "My favorite part of my body is my brain. I think no matter what my body looks like I won't be satisfied unless I know how to use it."
Sounds like an answer for a job interview. Congratulations! You're hired!
More pics of Michelle after the jump…

On The Next ‘Mad Men’

Friday, August 27 by

If you watch "Mad Men" then you know how the previews for the following weeks' episodes are pure bullsh*t. All we get are cryptic phrases and the occasional highball glass smashed over dramatic music. John Duffy decided to edit a few "On the Next Mad Men" previews of his own using footage from familiar TV shows and movies. The "Always Sunny in Philadelphia" one above definitely has me intrigued. How will Charlie slap Dee's face off of her face?! Check out more of John's previews here. (BuzzFeed)

Tupac Shakur Biopic Won’t Be Biopic-y

Friday, August 27 by

Screenwriters Stephen J. Rivele and Chris Wilkinson have been hired to write the Tupac Shakur biopic, and they promise that their approach "is not in any way biopic-y." The original draft written by Steven Bagatourian was gonna get all up in 2Pac's bidness by laying out facts documentary style. But Wilkinson says that approach was skeet and their script will center on the last day of Tupac's life, using flashbacks to show the final four years of thugness leading up to it. Don't quote him on that exact wording. I added some flava. Rivele spit this flow for Vulture:
"This is the story of an artist whose character is at odds with his medium," explains Rivele, "He was a really sensitive, very romantic, talented young poet who also could sing, dance, and act. But the realities [of the hip-hop record business] were that he had to create this persona of the gangster."
Sounds like me in high school. Turns out starring as the lead in South Pacific doesn't command the respect you'd think it would. But wrap a bandana around your head and shoot the janitor, suddenly everyone's afraid of you. Antoine Fuqua is set to direct the Tupac biopic, and is currently searching for an unknown actor to play the late-rapper. I suggest he consider casting Tupac himself since we all know he's alive and well living out the rest of his days in suburbia tending to his tomato garden.

‘Last Exorcism’ Chat: Patrick Fabian

Friday, August 27 by

Patrick Fabian is a face you’ve seen on TV many times before but never took the time to find out who he is on imdb. This week, the long time…

Brad Pitt Rumored for ‘Red Dead Redemption’ Movie

Friday, August 27 by

This comes from a gossip site, so take it for what it's worth, but Brad Pitt is supposedly in talks to star in a film adaptation of the groundbreaking videogame, Red Dead Redemption.

Published by Rockstar Games, the same company behind the Grand Theft Auto franchise, RDR tells the story of John Marston, a former outlaw who can't escape his past during the final days of the Old West. Supposedly, Pitt has been given the right of first refusal for the Marston role.

Hopefully this rumor turns out to be true. Hollywood is already putting money behind crap like Battleship, so why not develop a film around Red Dead. The game has a solid plot and more interesting characters than half the films I've seen this year, so the heavy lifting is done. And if it works out, maybe someone will finally make a movie based on my favorite videogame of all time, Avoid the Noid. (Cinemablend)

‘Kung Fu Panda’ Writers Sign On for ‘Karate Kid 2′

Friday, August 27 by

Too easy.
Did you like the Karate Kid remake? Did you like Kung Fu Panda? Then you're going to love the Karate Kid sequel. Why? Because you're obviously ten-years old and you'll like anything they put in front of you. I'll tell you who "they" are when you're older.

But you'll also like the Karate Kid sequel because the screenwriters for Kung Fu Panda, Cyrus Voris and Ethan Reiff, have been hired to write the script. Of course, by the time the film comes out in 2013, you'll have already hit puberty, which means maybe you'll have grown out of children's movies. But if you're anything like me, you'll retreat back to your childhood once Cindy Johnson rejects you in front of the entire biology class and makes you the laughing stock of the whole school. (Empire)

Albert Brooks Is One Bad Motha in ‘Drive’

Thursday, August 26 by

Albert Brooks isn't exactly considered a bad-ass. Finding Nemo and Defending Your Life don't usually strike fear into the hearts of men. Aside from his cameo as a supervillain on "The Simpsons," he usually plays a mild-mannered guy…until now.

Behold, Albert Brooks 2.0. Now the famed comedian is 90% more menacing thanks to his upcoming role in Drive, directed by Nicolas Winding Refn. In the film, Brooks will play a New York mobster named Bernie Rose who moves to L.A. to kick ass and take names. The film also stars Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan and Bryan Cranston, who has turned into a bit of a bad-ass himself thanks to "Breaking Bad."

Now that Brooks has gone tough guy, can fellow comedian and neurotic Jew Richard Lewis be far behind? Only time will tell. (Deadline)

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