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Burlesque

Thursday, August 5 by

Director: Steve Antin
Cast: Christina Aguilera, Cher, Stanley Tucci, Kristen Bell, Alan Cumming, Cam Gigandet

Screenwriter Hired To Ruin ‘An American Werewolf In London’

Thursday, August 5 by

"Honey! Do Jacob's abs look tighter than mine?"
Thanks to Twilight and "True Blood," Hollywood is buying up anything werewolf-related. MMA werewolves, teenaged werewolves, California-based werewolves, it doesn't matter what the werewolves do, as long as they are werewolves. So, it stands to reason that Hollywood would be anxious to desecrate John Landis's classic An American Werewolf In London.
The Weinsteins have just hired The Number 23 scribe Fernley Phillips to drag his butt across the remake's script. This is the Fernley Phillips who named a character "Topsy Kretts." So, yeah. Um. Yeah. The Weinsteins reportedly want to completely depart from Landis's film and give it a more modern feel. That means less gore, more mumbly romance. Which is dumb. Just make your own movie without tarnishing the memory of a horror classic. Besides, with a name like An American Werewolf In London, audiences are going to expect a Madonna biopic. (via LA Times and Bloody Disgusting)

Maggie Grace Joins Luc Besson’s ‘Lockout’

Thursday, August 5 by

Space prison is much like Earth prison.
Maggie Grace and Luc Besson last worked together on Taken, which Besson produced and co-wrote and Grace starred in as Liam Neeson's stupid daughter who shares cabs with strange Frenchman just because they smile at her. Now Deadline reports that they're reteaming for Lockout, a film with one of the coolest loglines I've heard in a long time:
Guy Pearce is attached to play a man wrongly convicted of conspiracy to commit espionage against the U.S. He's offered his freedom if he can rescue the president's daughter (Grace) from an outer space prison taken over by violent inmates.
He has to save her from a space prison riot? Awesome! Prison riots in general kick-ass, as evidenced by Face/Off, but imagine what one would look like with zero-gravity, once the device in the film that sustains gravity inevitably gets shut off. If they cast Charles S. Dutton, who's familiar with space prison from Alien 3 and Earth prison from real life, this film is sure to blow up bigger than Taken. I can hear Guy Pearce saying the lines now… "I will find you. And I will kill you. In space." Good luck.

12 Best Portrayals of Movie White Trash

Thursday, August 5 by

Acting is a skill that requires intense focus and an incredible amount of natural talent. Acting like white trash simply requires a lack of focus and an incredible amount of Natural Light. That said, some actors manage the role better than others and that’s what I’ll be examining today as I present the 12 greatest portrayals of white trash in film.
Nicholas Cage as H.I. McDonnough in Raising Arizona

Michael Cera Won’t Ruin ‘Ghostbusters 3′

Thursday, August 5 by

The road to Ghostbusters 3 has been a turbulent one. We've heard rumors for awhile about a sequel that would catch up with the paranormalists in the modern day, and serve as a passing of the torch to an Apatowized cast. Luckily, one brave man has stood in the way, refusing to allow our childhoods to miscarry in unnecessary 3D. God bless you, Bill Murray.
Now Michael Cera is fighting the good fight. He tells USA Today:
"Ghostbusters is the most influential movie of my childhood," he says. "And I would not want to be the reason that Ghostbusters was all of a sudden bad."
Looks like we'll have to depend on Jesse Eisenberg for that.

‘Breakthrough with Tony Robbins’ Canceled Due to Less Than Inspired Ratings

Wednesday, August 4 by

"Breakthrough with Tony Robbins" has been canceled after just two episodes, Deadline is reporting. Robbins, a self-help author, success coach, and modern-day medicine man failed to awake the giant within and tap his unlimited power, forcing NBC to scrap the show.

At last report, Robbins was chugging Jack Daniels, eating Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey and watching a 12 hour block of pornography at a Motel 6 in Bakersfield, CA, while repeatedly murmuring to himself that "it's all a big nothing."

‘Breaking Bad’ Hopes Webisodes Will Hold You Over Until 2011

Wednesday, August 4 by

July of 2011 is a long way off; almost a year by some estimates. Unfortunately, that's how long we'll have to wait for new episodes of "Breaking Bad." But to help keep fans from resorting to meth use, the show's producers are developing a series of three-to-four minute webisodes to run on the AMC website. According to the show's star, Bryan Cranston, these websiodes will be more than just fluff.
"I for one am eager to make these little interstitials important. I don’t want them to be simply filler or recap, but something that actually moves the storyline forward. If we’re going to do it, it ought to be a real part of the larger show.”
This sounds like a welcome change from the "Battlestar Galactica" websiodes, which consisted mainly of deleted scenes and 15 minutes of Edward James Olmos letting loose on the can. (Deadline)

The ‘Avengers’ Comic-Con Teaser Trailer Has a Wicked Font

Wednesday, August 4 by

The Avengers Comic-Con teaser trailer has hit the net, and I can see what all the nerds have been fussing about. Between the awesome voice over and the super-cool font they used for the logo, I was barley able to keep from wetting myself. It was just too exciting. (/S)

Yeah, I know it was only a teaser trailer, but give me something I can use, Marvel! A shield, a hammer, a cape; anything is better than nothing. At the very least, tell me the Invisible Woman was standing there the whole time.
She was? Awesome!

Watch a sad excuse for a teaser trailer after the jump…

‘The Venture Bros.’ Season 4.5 Trailer

Wednesday, August 4 by

Here's the trailer for the new season of "The Venture Bros." since I know you guys love Adult Swim so damn much. I've been told it doesn't work for foreigners, or rather, people outside the U.S. If you're in the U.S. but are foreign it should play for you. Unless you're Croatian. Hey, don't blame me. (ToplessRobot)
Enjoy these links, stoners.
'Louie' Moment: Louie Tells His Mother He Doesn't Love Her (TVSquad)
Sly Stallone Rubs Felt Elbows With 'The Muppets Show' (Asylum)
25 Videos Of Epic Bowling Fails (HolyTaco)
'Devil' Riding M. Night Shyamalan's Name Straight To Hell (FilmDrunk)
10 Most Important Hotties In Gaming Today (Maxim)
New Nike Ad Campaign Has Some Butts To Show You (BarStoolSports)
9 Things That Shouldn't Give Us Boners But Do (EgoTV)
Fear Of The Unknown: Those Horror Movies You Never Saw As A Kid (Pajiba)
'Deus Ex: Human Revolution' Is The Best Movie Trailer This Year (Unreality)
Amazing Spider Man Catch Of The Day (TotalProSports)
12 Frighteningly Real Sculptures (Smosh)
45 Hottest TV Lawyers Of All Time (BroBible)
Proof That Beyonce Is An Alien (CelebJihad)
Get Curb-Stomped By Roger Huerta (CagePotato)
Katy Perry: When Sex & God Mix, 'Bad Things Happen' (PopEater)
World Tetris Championship (MadeMen)

Director Davis Guggenheim Quits Justin Bieber’s Stupid 3D Biopic

Wednesday, August 4 by

Is he wearing lipstick?
Yesterday it seemed a little odd when it was announced that Oscar-winning director Davis Guggenheim would direct the upcoming 3D Justin Bieber biopic. And I guess it seemed odd to Guggenheim too, because he has just taken himself off the project according to Deadline. Guggenheim cites "scheduling conflicts" as the reason for his departure, but we all know that's just Hollywood speak for "This diminutive singing child punches people in the balls. I'm not willing to put my balls at risk to work with him."
So as of right now, the very important film is left without a director. I think what Justin needs most is someone who can really identify with him. Someone who knows his music inside and out. Someone with Doritos breath. If only such a person existed.

‘Little Fockers’ Needs Dustin Hoffman to Save It

Wednesday, August 4 by

Little Fockers is in trouble, and Universal Studios is deperately looking for a solution. Earlier in the week, Deadline reported that execs think a week of pickups with the principal cast in September is required to bring the movie closer to a viewable state. They were even at one point considering replacing director Paul Weitz with producer-writer John Hamburg, but that tactic got "rejected after Hamburg visited the set one weekend." He obviously wasn't pleased with the BBQ chicken quesadillas craft services slaved over.
Now Universal believes the answer to their problems comes in the form of a short, Jewish, 73 year-old man named Dustin Hoffman. Vulture reports that the studio is "looking into whether Hoffman might consider a last-minute reprise of his role as Bernie Focker in an effort to funny-up the comedy." Yeah, let's shoe horn in the arrival of Ben Stiller's character's neurotic Jewish father and all will be well. If Dustin doesn't cut it, then we'll fly in Barbra Streisand. If she doesn't work out, we'll add a ton more foreskin jokes, say our prayers, and let the chips fall where they may. Somewhere, some Universal exec has a thousand-yard stare and is tracing the trigger of a revolver with his index finger.

Fox Picks Up ’29,’ Hollywood Officially Out Of Ideas

Wednesday, August 4 by

Ah, to be young again.
Hot on the heels of the magical time-travel plot device news, comes word that Hollywood is officially out of ideas. Fox has greenlighted the body swap 29. Based on the book by Adena Halpern, 29 tells the story of a 75-year old grannie who turns 29 again for just one day. She teams up with her granddaughter for an adventure, while her daughter and best friend assume she's been kidnapped and embark on their own mission to save the wrinkled, old coot.
Okay. I'm just gonna put this out there. Nana, stop reading. Okay, no olds reading? Okay, here goes. F*ck old people. I don't need to see their adventures on-screen. I just need to know what to buy them for Christmas (otherwise they're getting gloves again). Stop wasting this genre on old person turns young stories, and give America what it really wants. A husband and wife switch bodies and while the wife/husband is trying her/his best to win the bread for the family, the husband/wife is sitting at home playing with his/her own boobs all day. It would be Hollywood's first approach at a body swap movie grounded in reality. (THR)

Review: ‘Step Up 3D’

Wednesday, August 4 by

Step Up 3D
PG-13, 107m., 2010
Cast: Adam G. Santi, Alyson Stoner, Rick Marabi, Sharni Vinson with a whole bunch of  break and back up dancers
Directed by Jon Chu

Step Up 3D is pure soda pop entertainment, where between the carbonation bubbles of flashy dance sequences you get that sugar crash of acting and story.
More after the jump…

Daily Expendable: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Wednesday, August 4 by

Every day for the next two weeks, we're going to feature a cast member from the upcoming film The Expendables. These ten bad-ass actors, who deliver a extensive amount of property damage in the film, are legends in the action movie genre. Today the spotlight is on none other than the Governator himself. Arnold Schwarzenegger only has a small cameo in The Expendables, but his brief appearance completes the circle of legends. 
Highly Debatable Best Role: The Terminator in The Terminator
Weird Fact: Underwent a genioplasty — a procedure in which his jaw has been moved back so that it no longer juts out.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…

The YouTube ‘Social Network’ Parody

Wednesday, August 4 by

There's already been a MySpace parody of The Social Network trailer and now comes the inevitable YouTube parody. It adds as much drama to a movie about a video website as anyone could hope for. Keyboard Cat even makes an appearance, although I'm not sure why he isn't a bigger character. His lackadaisical ivory-tickling still keeps YouTube afloat to this day.
Check out the parody trailer after the jump…

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