This Friday, Jody Hill's Observe & Report opens. It's the second mall cop movie of the year, but is to Paul Blart what Taxi Driver is to DC Cab. Co-starring in OaR with the hairy Seth Rogen is the very clean shaven Anna Faris (above). Where You've Seen Her: Anna is a comedienne who's career took off with the Scary Movie franchise. She's done all four of the films, as well as Waiting, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, "Entourage," and played Shelley in The House Bunny. Listen for her voice in the upcoming Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Pointless Quote: "I never imagined being able to make money from acting – and now I can."
What a sicko.Between "True Blood," "Six Feet Under," and that time he suffocated a hobo, it's obvious that Alan Ball has a fascination with death. But don't take my word for it:“Obviously death is a theme I’m fascinated by.”Thanks Alan. His attraction to blood on the outside of bodies is ruling his work once more with the news that HBO has greenlighted his pilot "All Signs Of Death." Based on the novel The Mystic Arts of Erasing All Signs of Death by Ball's homie Charlie Huston, "Death" tells the story of a slacker crime scene cleaner who becomes embroiled in the underbelly of L.A.. You know what that means: murder, dangerous women, and strip malls that don't house five-star restaurants. I know, so sleazy.
Vince Vaughn and David O. Russell have been gabbing for weeks about their Old St. Louis project, and now it looks like Universal will let them play in their sandbox. O. Russell wrote the script and would make the film his followup to The Fighter. Deadline reports:
Old St. Louis is the story of a traveling salesman who has been an absentee father, and how his life changes when his daughter becomes part of his life. Vaughn would play the salesman, and actresses including Kick-Ass star Chloe Moretz have been mentioned as possibles to play the daughter.
Being a native of St. Louis, I'm a little put off that the fine city and Gateway to the West isn't mentioned in the logline. Hopefully during the character's travels he gets stranded in STL, forcing production to shoot mostly there for authenticity's sake. Lord knows they could use the money for another strip mall built around an Olive Garden.
The latest trailer for "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus" is up over at Yahoo and it's more mind-bending than you would expect from Gilliam. The movie looks incredible and could be the one that allows Terry Gilliam to reclaim his place on the A-list. Tom Waits as the Devil and Jude Law as Heath Ledger? Insane. The trippy visuals look like what you would see if you played Candyland while smoking Salvia. Which, incidentally, I have a ton of if you're interested in buying. Just come find me in my van. I'll be parked near the food court at the mall. Trip the link fantastic… Is Gary Ross being strongarmed into directing Venom? (The Playlist) Don't take the freeway. New 2012 trailer (Cinema Blend) Big Show wrestles to save the orphanage (Empire) Peewee angers an army of nerds (Vulture) Vince Vaughn and Malin Akerman talk Couple's Retreat (Latino Review)
Paramount must realize the colossal turkey they have on their hands with G.I. Joe because now they're trying a new marketing approach… targeting dummies. A few weeks ago they directed their efforts on the Jersey Shore , now the LA Times is reporting that the advertising is focusing heavily on mid-America. The film is apparently embedded in the Kid Rock concert tour and advertising on giant screens in the Mall Of America. The message of this campaign being, it is your patriotic duty to see this movie. All right, fine. I love my country so I'll see this movie. Even though the post-traumatic stress will probably leave me a shell of my former self. Do your part and click on these morning links… Sacha Baron Cohen will create a new character. (The Sun)Sam Worthington replaces Tom Cruise in The Tourist. (The Playlist)Patricia Arquette spends a night with The Living Dead. (Dread Central)The Stallone Sequel Spree continues with Cliffhanger. (/Film) In defense of Funny People. (Cinema Blend)
Harold & Kumar 3 began filming today in a mall in Michigan, and the cast and creators are tweeting about their adventures. John Cho, the Asian in the dynamic cannabis-loving duo had this to say: "In Michigan, @pattonoswalt in my vicinity, holding a sketch pad, duct tape, and a reel to reel audio recorder. Eeesh." Whoa, so Patton Oswalt is on set too?! Oswalt tweeted: "Maybe it's this Michigan air, but @JohnTheCho is looking huggable, chloroform-able, and bury-able."As much as I'd love Oswalt being there to star in the movie, I gather by his tweet that he's simply hanging around set to chloroform, rape, and murder John Cho. He didn't specifically say "rape" but chloroform isn't used for much else these days. And since Kal Penn didn't chime in on Twitter, he must already be under floorboards somewhere. Check out some pics from the set after the jump…
Things keep getting worse for producers of Terminator: Salvation. Between Christian Bale's blow up, McG's pissing contest with Michael Bay, and the controversy over Moon Bloodgood's handbra, they've received a ton of free press that they couldn't spin into box office gold. Now the Halcyon Holding Group has filed for bankruptcy and is ready to sell the franchise rights to the highest bidder. Apparently all the big studios are lining up to secure the rights. But why? The last two movies were pretty abysmal and The Sarah Connor Chronicles never found the audience it deserved. With Arnie indisposed and special effects breakthroughs having plateaued it's time to face the sad, cold truth. We as a people have to face the fact that killer robots are sooo over. Let us all begrudgingly tear down our Chopping Mall posters and set fire to our I, Robot theater-lobby standees. Today will usher in the age of the friendly (probably farting) robot. But honestly, is there any way to breathe life into Terminator? Preferably one that doesn't involve putting Peter Berg behind the camera? Let us know your thoughts. (The Financial Times)
Star Trek officially opens tonight and Mother's Day is Sunday. How appropriate, then, that we introduce you to Jennifer Morrison, who plays Winona Kirk, the mother of Capt. James Tiberius Kirk, in JJ Abrams' film. There are several different backstories associated with the character, but no matter what reality you buy into as a Trekker, you can't deny Jennifer's practically playing the mother of god. Where you've seen her before: She's probably most familiar as Dr. Allison from Fox's "House" series, but she's also played Jamie in Grind, Amy in Urban Legends: Final Cut, and Chris in a small 2004 film called Mall Cop, whose makers probably hate their lives right now.Random Quote: "My resume for Cameron has me graduating medical school the year I graduated junior high.”See pictures of Jennifer after the jump:
By Jay Riotta
The Golden Globes 2010 Nominees have been announced and somehow both Old Dogs and Paul Blart: Mall Cop were left off the list. I blame the heartless Hollywood Foreign Press Association. Don't they know that all Seth Green has is his work!Avatar, Inglourious Basterds, and Up in the Air garnered four nominations each but Nine is the front runner with six nominations. Jazzhands. They're like crack to these awards people.CHECK OUT THE FULL LIST OF NOMINEES AFTER THE JUMP
No… No. NO. NO! NO!!!!!!! They've created half-man, half-pillow hybrid beasts called manllows! Even if you do want to rub your privates against Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner, these THINGS are just freakish versions of them. But I guess a freakish, stroke-victim-faced version is all some disillusioned girls need. (FilmDrunk)Hilarious The Bachelor Recap For Fans/Non-Fans (NotZombies)Oscar Producers Tell Nominees to Shut Up (Moviefone)Improper Condom Fit is a Major Problem (Asylum)25 Awesome Guitars (HolyTaco)Team China Sexual Stretches at the Olympics (TotalProSports)Conquest MMA Model Cali-Luv (CagePotato)Live Avatar Role-Playing (Unreality)Video Game Vixens (Maxim)Selena Gomez Causes Lesbian Mob at the Mall (CelebJihad)The Best Female Action Heroes (Pajiba)One Nerd's Obsession with Megan Fox (Atom)The Daytona 500 In Pictures (AllLeftTurns)How to Party for Free in NYC (MadeMan)
Take notes, boys. THIS is how you peacock.In news that is sure to make you say, "Hrrmm, yeah. That's okay. I guess," Christopher Mintz-Plasse and David Tennant have joined Craig Gillespie's Fright Night remake. The pair will use their soft joke-fingers to comically-relieve and tug the laughter out of audiences. Gently at first, but then harder and faster as the film approaches its climax.Tennant will play Peter Vincent, a character who in the original movie was played by Roddy McDowall as the host of a late-night horror show. In the remake, he’s a Las Vegas magician whose show revolves around horror-movie imagery. Vincent claims to be a vampire expert, but when the teen turns to him for assistance, he’s less than helpful. Mintz-Plasse is playing Evil Ed, Yelchin’s friend who feels slighted that Charlie has left his nerdy past behind and thus joins the vampire’s coven. In my experience you need to be careful when a middle-aged man dresses in a cape and claims to be a vampire expert. Last time I did that, the chubby teens at the Hot Topic turned me in to mall security. (THR)
The '09 summer movies have already begun to arrive, but still to come are some of the biggest, baddest, FX-iest movies around. For robot fans, you can look no further than three of the biggest releases this summer: Terminator Salvation, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and (if it sticks to the cartoon’s use of robot drones to satisfy the ratings board) G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra. [No, colons are not movie code for “Robot Plot.”] Robots are on the A-List now, but they didn't always have it so good. Here are five cinematic robots that just didn’t work (as they were intended): T-800 from Terminator Program: Kill Sarah Connor, period.
On April 10th, Observe and Report opens, and will be the second mall cop movie released within a few months. We're not saying it's a knockoff of Paul Blart at all. But it's another example of the Hollywood tradition for competing studios to release two eerily familiar movies right around the same time of year. Some say both films benefit from the timing. Some say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. You be the judge of which flicks deserve the compliment. Screen Junkies presents – in convenient chronological order, no less:11 PAIRS OF SUSPICIOUSLY SIMILAR MOVIES!!!1989Turner and Hooch vs. K-9
We all have them: Our favorite worst movies. Whether due to poor acting, writing, production value or all of the above, there are some gorgeously entertaining cinematic turds that we just can’t flush out of our hearts. Here are 11 of the most awfulsome movies ever made. 11. Double Team
Katee Sackhoff returns to nerd-bonering tonight. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!
Rather than reviewing Jason Statham's latest explosion fest in my own voice, I'm going to use the voice of the frat dude that was sitting behind me at the midnight showing I attended last night. Please note that caps lock is used to emphasize both the frat guy's excitement and the movie's resemblance to a fun, 89-minute Mountain Dew commercial.
AGORA Trailer with Rachel Weisz – Watch more Movie Trailers Above is the first trailer for the new Egypt-under-the-Roman-Empire period piece, which stars Rachel Weisz as the brilliant astronomer Hypatia, who along with her disciples, fights to save the wisdom of the Ancient World during a violent religious upheaval. It looks like there's action, but whether or not Weisz will kick some holy Roman ass remains to be seen. The title bugs me. "Agora." It comes from the Greek for a marketplace. That's like naming DIE HARD "NAKATOMI PLAZA." Or UNDER SIEGE 2 "MOVING TRAIN." If they're going to just name it after the location, they could at least do something dynamic like THE TOWERING INFERNO did. Maybe call it RELIGIOUS RUMBLE AT THE ALEXANDRIA MALL. Or I'M AGORA GIT YOU SUCKA.Git deez links, SUCKA!Mindi Smith Is A One-Woman Carwash (Gorillamask)The Anatomy Of A Bikini Carwash (Holytaco)Rambo 5: Rambo Goes To Mexico (Filmdrunk)25 Amazing Man Babies (Manofest)Nintendo Rubik's Cube Is 8-Bit Fun For All (Walyou)The Best TV Robots (Pajiba)Cheap Acting Tricks That Fool The Critics (Cracked)So Many Hot Legal Schoolgirls (Coedmagazine)'09 Hometown Hotties Finalists. Rock The Vote! (Maxim) It's Not Too Soon For Dead Ted Kennedy Jokes (Celebjihad)How To Tell If She'll Be Good In Bed (Mademan)Ed Herman Is Pretty Certain His Knee Is F*cked (Cagepotato)Video Game Console Costumes Turn You Into A Tool (Unreality)Robot Striptease Teaches Us How To Feel (Asylum)Celebrities 'Hate' Vick's Return To The NFL (Moondogsports) Cop Rams Squad Car Into A Man In A Wheelchair (Nothingtoxic)The Worst Speeches Of All Time (Atomfilms)First Pics Of Ms. Kidman in 'Rabbit Hole' (Filmofilia)
Every year, Nerdcore releases a special calendar paying tribute to pop culture with sexy pinup girls. The 2010 Calendar, currently available for pre-order, is a bloody, beautiful homage to horror flicks, and it's a perfectly timed Halloween gift for any discerning masturbator of the macabre friend you may have. According to Nerdcore, "no genre has been more synonymous with nerds and nudity than horror," and we couldn't agree more. Their 4th annual calendar features cover model Jana Jordan getting paranormal with a TV set, sultry scream queen Justine Joli in the most vintage of psychotic shower scenes, Bobbi Starr sewn together (literally) in a more naked version of Frankenstein, as well as Aria Giovanni, Kayla Jane Danger, Karlie Montana, Mosh, and Zoli Suicide getting their scream on. Check out some of the hot, nearly NSFW photos after the jump. Can you guess all the horror movies to which the photos pay tribute? Does it really even matter?
Whether you know it or not, your sexual preferences today are a byproduct of your childhood conditioning. And if its one thing that conditioned all of us, it’s the TV. The 80s brought us blue-colored drink mix, unrealistic expectations for time-travel capability, and one of the tastiest range of sexy TV starlets in history.
You may remember actor Jesse Eisenberg, he’s quite the hot-shot young actor in a circle of “I play disillusioned youngsters wanting to be Holden Caufield” roles. Go down the list….
Episode: "Head Cheese". After last week's big happenings, things slowed down for this episode, probably so they can get everyone into position for the last two episodes of the season. It looks like some shit is about to go down. Nancy:
There is one question that remained after the death of Hunter S. Thompson. Was his suicide the ultimate act to cap a life of utter defiance, the final middle finger to a rotten world that is irrecoverably lost among madmen and perverts? Or was blowing his brains out the only recourse for a burn out who partied too hard, eventually dulling his razor sharp wit on years of alcoholism and drug abuse. Alex Gibney’s Biopic asks this question.
Fall TV is an exciting time. There are lots of new shows to be watched and complain about. But, one of the best things about the fall premieres is getting to see the new crop of beautiful ladies being paraded across our TV screens. Here's a cheat sheet of girls you might not be familiar with….yet.
We firmly believe that the Oscars would benefit from adding a few wild-card categories every year. You know, mix it up. Keep it fresh. Here are a few possibilities, including nominees. If you have more, post them in the comments section. And don't forget to follow our Oscar liveblog HERE starting 8pm Eastern, 5pm Pacific this Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Sunday. Best Alien Performance Neytiri – "Avatar" Gallaxhar – "Monsters vs. Aliens" Nero – "Star Trek" Chrisopher Johnson – "District 9" Lil Wayne – "The Carter" Best Abusive Parent
Maybe I'm not the sentimental type or maybe I just don't share the unending, fiery love for Superman that some people seem to have. Or maybe I just see how absolutely ridiculous it is for a legitimate charity to try and guilt people into donating money that will be put toward saving the house in which Superman was invented. Sorry Ronald McDonald, your house full of sick kids and their families doesn't have enough comic book history to get my money. [Warning: Ranting ahead]
William Shatner is a great fit for our reoccurring list of crazy star moments. The man does some truly bizarre things while seeming to take himself completely seriously. But really, it’s all just a joke. We think. And with the sad news that he will not take part in J.J.
We all have them: Our favorite worst movies. Whether due to poor acting, writing, production value or all of the above, there are some gorgeously entertaining cinematic turds that we just can’t flush out of our hearts. Here are some of the most awfulsome movies ever made. 11. Double Team
If you're having horizontal relations on a regular basis, chances are pretty good you're busy Saturday night. But fear not you coupled soldier you, there is no reason your bro-ness has to be sacrificed in the name of Saint Valentine. I know I'm planning on dinner for two and a movie in the comfort of my apartment, but if you're just starting down the road of monogamy you're going to be expected to leave the house. So when it comes to what movie you're going to see at the multiplex after your romantic dinner, keep in mind February 14th is her day. Which means unless your GF is crazy awesome, My Bloody Valentine 3D is out. So here's a run down of what you'll need to sit through if you want to see her naked later.
South Park is getting by the economic crisis just like the rest of the country, only in South Park Randy Marsh rises up as a prophet warning people that they have angered the economy. Stan has to find a way to return the frivolous Margaritaville machine his dad bought, and Kyle starts trouble by breaching the economy is not a dangerous entity to be feared. It's another great South Park this season, and it's right after the jump