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Shaq Makes Triumphant Return to Acting for Sandler’s ‘Jack & Jill’

Tuesday, August 31 by

Shaq will be making a cameo as himself in Adam Sandler's new film Jack & Jill. The recently-aquired Boston Celtics center is no stranger to playing Shaq in films. In fact, I imagine he prefers it to a genie or Iron Man rip-off superhero. Shaq has played Shaq in CB4, Good Burger, He Got Game, After the Sunset, The Kid & I, The House Bunny, and When in Rome. No one captures the essence of Shaq like Shaq can, which is why Sandler came to him for the Shaq role in his new comedy.
Regarding the film, Adam Sandler plays twins and one of them is a girl. Do I really need to go into anymore detail or have your eyes permanently rolled into the back of your skull? Shaq joins Katie Holmes and Al Pacino, who have already agreed to take a check for appearing in this inevitable sh*t sandwich. And don't get all pissed at me about Sandler. I used to love the guy in Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison, but Grown Ups really took a toll on my emotional psyche. Never have I wanted an actor to devolve so badly and return to speaking gibberish. (TheWrap)

Danny Trejo: Character Careers

Tuesday, August 31 by

Character actor extraordinaire Danny Trejo is back (for about the 30th time this year) in the Mexploitation movie Machete. A lot of his movie roles have reflected his life with drugs, boxing, and prison. He might have the largest character résumé in Hollywood today.

Teresa Palmer and Joel Edgerton Ain’t No Snitches In ‘Say Nothing’

Tuesday, August 31 by

Rising stars Teresa Palmer and Joel Edgerton are returning to Australia for some reason. The actors have signed on for the Australian film Say Nothing. They star as a young couple who keep their traps shut after their friend goes missing during a group vacation to South East Asia. It took some time, but I'm glad they finally got around to making a less-talky version of Say Anything. If the silent boombox scene doesn't melt your heart, you're black inside. (Moviehole)

David Koechner Makes It Harder to Hate ’5nal Destination’

Tuesday, August 31 by

Earlier this year, when the producers of Final Destination 5 supposedly changed the film's title to 5nal Destination, the Internet was quick to rebuke the decision. After all, how could anyone pick such a stupid title (unless, of course, they were looking for a week's worth of free publicity provided by easily outraged Internet dorks like myself).

But time heals all wounds, and the producers have gone a long way toward reconciling with the Internet crowd thanks to the addition of David Koechner to the cast.

Best known for his comedic roles, Koechner was featured in Anchorman, "The Office," and is currently involved with Adult Swim's hilarious live-action comedy, "Children's Hospital." He has also provided comic relief in a previous horror film, Snakes on a Plane. That being said, he better be channeling the ghost of Richard Pryor if he's going to save this film from the Grim Reaper. (Bloody Disgusting via Empire Online)

‘Clash of the Titans II’ has a Director: Jonathan Liebesman

Tuesday, August 31 by

Jonathan Liebesman will direct Clash of the Titans II, Coming Soon is reporting. Liebesman, who also directed the upcoming Battle: Los Angeles, will most likely be joined by Sam Worthington and Gemma Arterton, who both starred in the first installment. Unlike the first film, which was retrofitted, the sequel will be shot entirely in 3D. Also, unlike the first film, Clash of the Titans II will supposedly have a plot mapped out before shooting begins.

(Spoiler Alert) Hopefully this sequel will avoid some of the pitfalls of its predecessor. For example, one of the worst scenes from Clash of the Titans was the ending, when Zeus randomly resurrected a character who had died earlier in the film. Resurrection? Talk about an unbelievable cop out? No wonder no one worships Zeus anymore.

Pirate Attire Fail

Monday, August 30 by

Sure, the grammar is incorrect, but the fail is spot on.
Here are your form-fitting links.
Critic Vs. Critic: Is The Internet Good Or Bad For Movie Criticism? (Moviefone)
Porn Judge's Case Not Looking So Hot (Asylum)
30 Greatest On-Stage Falls Of All Time (Ranker)
25 Cosplay Girls From Fan Expo 2010 (HolyTaco)
'The Pacific' Sells 3D Battle Of Midway Pitch (FilmDrunk)
Clooney-Off: Jack VS. Jack Foley (Maxim)
Girl Busts Her Ass Sliding Down A Rail (BarStoolSports)
7 Ways To Make The Red Carpet More Interesting (EgoTV)
So Damn Sure  Of Ourselves, Aren't We? (Pajiba)
What Do These Two Ladies Have In Common (Unreality)
Now This Is A Goal Line  Stand! (TotalProSports)
23 Clever Ways To Wear Duct Tape (Smosh)
Best Boobs On TV: Christina Hendricks Vs. Sofia Vergara (BroBible)
Vanessa Hudgens Claims TO Pwn Noobs (CelebJihad)
'Never Back Down 2' In The Works? (CagePotato)
'True Blood' Cast Dumps HBO For 'Mad Men' Bash (PopEater)
Deep Fried Beer And Frozen Beer (MadeMan)

Curtains Up On ‘Robocop: The Musical’ and ‘Terminator 2: The Opera’

Monday, August 30 by

The guys who produced the whimsical, yet tragic, Total Recall: The Musical are back with two new productions that'll have you cheering in your box seats. Robocop: The Musical and Terminator 2: The Opera are probably my favorite renditions thus far by Jon and Al. They've managed to keep both of the videos under four minutes, so they don't overstay their welcome. If they could stage a live production these guys would take Broadway by storm. (ToplessRobot)
Check out the musicals after the jump…

Darren Aronofsky Enters The ‘Wolverine 2′ Race

Monday, August 30 by

David Slade would be wise not to decorate his home office with Wolverine action figures just yet. Though it was believed that the helmer of Hard Candy and assorted vampire movies was a shoe-in for the Wolverine Goes To Japan directing gig, a new contendor has emerged. Granted, he's a highly-unlikely candidate, but Darren Aronofsky's hat has somehow been thrown into the ring. Whether he threw that hat himself, or some neighbor kid bully threw it in the ring just to be a jerk remains to be seen.
Given Aronofsky's body of work, I'm going to go ahead and rule him out. The X-Men films have been twisted into goofy, popcorn wannabe-action films, and Wolverine is no exception. Though if anyone could lend some gravity to the material, it's Aronofsky. Look what he did for Marlon Wayans. (Deadline)

‘M:I 4′ Hopefuls Lauren German, Kristin Kreuk, and Paula Patton Are In Tom Cruise’s Sights

Monday, August 30 by

Now that Jeremy Renner has been cast to distract from the fact that box office poison Tom Cruise is appearing in Mission: Impossible 4, it's time to figure out which skinny actress will be running around and firing Uzi's that somehow don't shatter her wrist. And the contenders are Hostel 2's Lauren German, Streetfighter's Kristin Kreuk, and Alan Thicke's daughter-in-law Paula Patton.
The three actresses are all testing for the role of a female operative in the Brad Bird-helmed sequel. Nothing more is known about the character beyond that description, but let's assume she will wear a leather bodysuit. All the best spies do. (Deadline)

‘True Blood’ Recap: Fresh Blood S3E11

Monday, August 30 by

Previously on "True Blood": Sookie found out she's a fairy. Sam flashed back on a former life of crime. Eric prepared to go after, and probably get killed by, King Russell. Human kind reacted poorly to Russell killing a human anchor on-air. Arlene looked into mystical abortion. Jason admitted to Tara that he killed Eggs. Lafayette and Jesus dropped some V and had a shared vision of their voodoo relatives. Meth cook Crystal turned into a panther and broke into Jason's bedroom. Hoyt was attacked by Tommy in pit bull form and was saved by Jess. Eric made out with Sookie and then chained her up in his basement. Ok, on to this week.
More after the jump…

Relax With These Peaceful ‘War Horse’ Set Photos

Monday, August 30 by

These photos that a Collider reader snagged from Steven Spielberg's War Horse set will calm your Monday morning nerves. I've been casually flipping through them with Enya on in the background and the outside world has melted away.
We haven't told you much about the film since its lead protagonist is an equine and SJ caters to people, but basically a horse named Joey is sold to the army during WWI and it wants to get back to the farm boy owner it left behind. It's a love story between a man and a beast, but not a Tijuana strip club sort of way.
Grab some Earl Grey and check out the pics after the jump…

‘Going The Distance’ Actress Kelli Garner

Monday, August 30 by

 
Who would ever think that being discovered at a Bar Mitzvah would lead to a solid career as an indie actress? Well look no further than Kelli Garner, the pixie blonde girl of Larry Clark's Bully, Lars and the Real Girl, and the low-budget southwest gem Dreamland. This week she goes a little more mainstream, reuniting with her Dreamland co-star Justin Long with the cross-country romance, Going The Distance.
A word from Kelli: "I'm mostly cast as the Lolita type, either a blonde bombshell Lolita, or the girl-with-black-hair-who-smokes-weed Lolita. Either way, I'm inevitably the sexpot."
Best typecasting ever.
More pics of Kelli after the jump…

Warner Bros Engages In ‘The Battle Of Midway’

Monday, August 30 by

Now imagine this in color. And 3D.
Much like Godzilla, "The Pacific" producer Bruce C. McKenna is drawing upon his love of killing Japanese people again for his next project. McKenna has sold a pitch to Warner Bros. to develop The Battle Of Midway into a big-budget 3D war epic. Reported to have a budget somewhere in the $200 million range, expect this recount of the historic air and sea battle to be a big one.
There's no word on casting or director as of yet, but we'll let you know when Clint Eastwood casts Channing Tatum as a maverick fighter pilot who is constantly at odds with by-the-book squad leader Jon Hamm. (Deadline)

Bradley Cooper and Ryan Reynolds Partnering Up to Kick Ass

Monday, August 30 by

They'll get on that ass-kicking right after bath time.
Bradley Cooper and Ryan Reynolds are teaming up to make the mean streets of San Francisco just a little safer for San Franciscans. The two actors who share a fondness for going shirtless are attached to star in an untitled original action-comedy written by Sheldon Turner (Up in the Air). THR has the rundown:
The story follows two friends, who are also San Francisco cops, whose fathers were once partners on the police force. The older generation is forced out of retirement to help their sons crack a case, with typically antagonistic results.
The actioner is meant to have an updated “Lethal Weapon” flavor that plays into edgier R-rated territory.
The pairing of Cooper and Reynolds I'm sure will be a lot of fun, but now I wanna know who's gonna play the daddies. The studio has the opportunity to put together a sweet actioner with two charismatic leads and two gruff middle-aged men as their fathers. It's too bad neither Cooper nor Reynolds is black or I would suggest Danny Glover. As both dads. He'd be getting seriously too old for this fighting crime with my twin sh*t.

Fall TV Tips: The Sitcoms About Offices

Monday, August 30 by

Last week’s breakdown of the new fall TV shows focused on sitcoms about couples. This week I’m sticking with the funny shows, but looking at the ones that are set in the workplace. There are surprisingly few of these — two to be exact — but one is worth checking out. While the other you might want to call in sick for.
WATCH IT: “Mr. Sunshine” (ABC), Midseason

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