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Wilford Brimley Cat Plays Dead

Tuesday, March 16 by

It's a slow as sh*t news day and the cat looks like Wilford Brimley. Your argument is invalid.Here are today's links.Sci-Fi Blockbusters' Top Secret Working Titles (Moviefone)Look Ma, a Flying Horse! (Asylum)Laughter at Corey Haim's Funeral (PopEater)The 2010 Douchbag Tournament Has Begun! (HolyTaco)Gary Busey is Crazy and It is Amazing (FilmDrunk)10 Strangest Looking Actresses in Hollywood (Unreality)20 Hot Boxing Babes (TotalProSports)The Weirdest Things in Video Game Hell (Maxim)Man Marries Pillow (Smosh)Tiger Woods Announces Return to Cheating (CelebJihad)Kimbo Slice Needs to Come Get Some (CagePotato)Review of 'Showgirls' (Pajiba)The Least Interesting Man in The World (Atom)How to Win a Gunfight (MadeMan)Andretti Sao Paulo Crash (AllLeftTurns)How to Celebrate St. Patrick's Day (RegretfulMorning)

Sasha Grey to Explore Another Girl’s ‘Hallows’

Tuesday, March 16 by

Sasha Grey is starring in a movie that won't bring oxygen deprivation induced tears to her eyes. At least not by her usual means. The porn actress with the gift of no gag plays a Jesus freak in Richard O'Sullivan's horror flick Hallows. O'Sullivan says:"Hallows basically takes the standard kids-in-the-woods-running-from-a-killer genre and flips it on its ear. The deaths aren't random. They're not cookie cutter. Each character dies in a fashion relating to the way they live their life. I'm less interested in gore-for-the-sake-of-gore (although there is gore in this film and plenty of it) than the psychology behind the characters and how they react to what happens. That's why we're happy to be working with Sasha. She's more interested in the psychology behind the action than just the action itself. That's what she conveys in her work in the adult genre, and that's what we're going for in this film."I totally see what he means. When I Googled Sasha's name I came across a picture of her trying to shove a cocktail napkin up her coochie and I thought to myself, "That girl gets the human condition." (DreadCentral)

Another GD Actor in the GD Running for ‘Captain America’

Tuesday, March 16 by

Ready to dismantle the Third Reich one Nazi at a time.Soon after we reported that Ryan Phillippe was being considered to take on the role of Captain America, news broke that stripper turned streets-stepper-up-to Channing Tatum has also been approached for the role. I must admit that I'm growing tired of writing about this movie day-in and day-out. What if we just cast an Australian who moved here at a young age? That almost counts as American, right?Anyway, I have two very sound reasons why Channing Tatum should not be cast as the First Avenger.Exhibit A:Exhibit B:[fart sound]Regrettably, we'll let you know as this story develops. Be sure to check us out tomorrow afternoon when it's reported that Stifler is being eyeballed for the role. (THR)

‘Boardwalk Empire’ Trailer Highlights Jersey’s Second Most Violent Shore

Tuesday, March 16 by

HBO refuses to falter in its attempts to overtake our Sunday nights. Yesterday we showed you the new trailer for David Simon's "Treme" and today we have a longer look at the Terrence Winter and Martin Scorsese period drama "Boardwalk Empire." Set in Prohibition-era Atlantic City, it's an old timey look at gambling and gangsters starring Steve Buscemi as Nucky Thompson, the real life crime boss who ruled A.C. with an iron fist and distended eyeballs. Think of it as "Deadwood" with running water and Omar from "The Wire." Have a look at Atlantic City's glory days before it was claimed by the elderly, after the jump.

‘Greenberg’ Actress Juno Temple

Tuesday, March 16 by

Juno Temple is a British actress who's done a lot of British stuff, including Atonement, Notes on a Scandel, and probably Jude Law. What?! She's legal and he's Jude Law.  A word from Juno: "I think it’s one of the worst things you can do… take away a child’s innocence." Uggghhh, you're layin' it on kinda thick. I think Jude gets it. He's not going to change. More not so innocent pics after the jump.

Michael Bay Wants YOU to Join ‘Transformers 3′

Tuesday, March 16 by

"Which one of you wants to be a star?!!!"Have you ever wanted to see the filming of a major motion picture firsthand? Would you like a grown man to scream swears and insults at you through a megaphone?? Do you like box lunches??? Then today could very well be your lucky day.Dreamworks is looking for background talent in the Los Angeles area for Transformers 3 and they're doing so through Craigslist. And before you knock the legitimacy of the posting, I'll have you know that Craigslist is great. It's how I found my apartment and my trademark cold sores.The ad doesn't mention which day or days shooting will take place but it does pay $200. Applicants will be selected on a breast-by-breast basis. Check out the ad HERE. (via Collider)

Darth Vader’s Winter Vacation

Tuesday, March 16 by

Darth Vaders Winter Vacation – Watch more Funny VideosYou'd think a Lord would do better with the ladies. Darth Vader's attempt to bag some tail while on vacation proves fruitless, and quite honestly, uber depressing for someone with such a sweet breathing apparatus. Don't drink and dial, Vader. No one wins at that game. (EgoTV)

Scorsese Casts Butterfield, Moretz, Cohen, and Kingsley for ‘Hugo Cabret’

Tuesday, March 16 by

Martin Scorsese has been busy casting his adaptation of the children's fantasy tale The Invention of Hugo Cabret. Sacha Baron Cohen and Ben Kingsley are in talks to sign on as a train station investigator and famed silent filmmaker George Méliès respectively. Asa Butterfield (The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas) has been hired to portray the lead character, who lives in the walls of a Paris train station while trying to repair his dead father's robotic invention. Up and comer Chloe Moretz is also signed on for the female lead role of Isabelle. Man, between Kick-Ass and Let Me In, 13-year old Chloe Moretz is soooo hot right now. Like, really really hot. I didn't mean it like that, guys. Oh, come on. *sigh* Alright. I'll go warn my neighbors about me. (Deadline)

HBO’s ‘Treme’ Trailer Has Got Soul

Monday, March 15 by

The teaser for "Treme" gave us only sad, orphaned instruments, so it's nice to see some people paying attention to them in this new trailer. Everyone seems happy as pie, but since "The Wire's" David Simon is co-creator I have a sneaking suspicion things are going to take a turn for the worse. It's just good TV, folks. Or rather, good HBO.Show these links some love.'Airplane!' Movie Quotes (Moviefone)How to Live in a Treehouse (Asylum)PETA Doesn't Like Mike Tyson Racing Pidgeons (PopEater)This 'Twilight' Comic Gets It Right (NotZombies)25 Animals Playing Sports (HolyTaco)St. Patrick's Day: The Movie (FilmDrunk)8 Child Starts from Classic Horror Films (Unreality)The Greatest Wrestling Move EVER (TotalProSports)24 Hours: Rob Corddry (Maxim)19 Best Homeless Person Signs (Smosh)Justin Bieber Concert Ends in Violence (CelebJihad)Hot Maria Kanellis Pics (CagePotato)'Breaking Bad' Contest (Pajiba)Evan and Gareth: Tie (Atom)How to Drink with Dignity (MadeMan)March Madness: NASCAR Ediiton (AllLeftTurns)

Dreamworks Found Some Dakota Kid for ‘Real Steel’

Monday, March 15 by

Dakota is sacrificed to Hollywood.Dreamworks has been searching for some bright-eyed, innocent young person to fill the role of Hugh Jackman's son in Real Steel, and rascal Dakota Goyo emerged "victorious." He's not to be confused with Dakota Fanning, the states of North and South Dakota, or the Dakota Reach-Around, this thing that Wookie does. From THR:DreamWorks, making its first movie under its deal with Disney, issued a public casting call in early February. It also conducted open auditions in Chicago and New York, looking for someone to play a "street-smart, tough, charming kid with a hard, untrusting outer shell which hides a warm enthusiastic spirit beneath."And they had to go to Canada to find him. What, there aren't enough punkass little sh*ts in America to fit your desired Jackman spawn? Gimme five days and I'll give any kid you pick an untrusting outer shell. …The warm, enthusiastic spirit underneath I cannot guarantee.

Ryan Phillippe in the Running for ‘Captain America’

Monday, March 15 by

Why does this exist?It really seems like the casting for The First Avenger: Captain America is going poorly. The bland shortlist comprised of Chris Evans, Garrett Hedlund, Mike Vogel, and Wilson Bethel has reportedly grown longer and more bland. Today there's word that MacGruber's Ryan Phillippe is in the running for the role. Considering Phillippe is 35 years old, he's easily a decade older than the other applicants. It would be a stretch to cast him as a young Steve Rogers, even with his boyish good looks and pouty lips. **splashes face with water, snaps out of it and cancels GQ subscription**Look, I understand that Captain America should be American, but all of our guys suck. In the interest of never having to write about this subject again, can we please just cast an Australian? Or if that won't work, how about a Canadian? That could be a workable solution as long as their eyes aren't too close together. (HitFix)

David Fincher May Move On ‘Pawn Sacrifice’ or Needle ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’

Monday, March 15 by

"Are those Bagel Bites?!!"Columbia is eager to work with David Fincher again after seeing him work on The Social Network. Variety is reporting that he's attached to re-up with the studio for Pawn Sacrifice, a movie about chess nerd Bobby Fischer's 1972 match against Boris Spassky. That sounds exciting, huh? Well, more exciting than Ridley Scott's Monopoly anyway.But Variety is also reporting that Fincher has his eye on the US remake of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (which sounds more like a Fountains of Wayne song than it does a movie). Also note that Fincher may be involved with the 3D version of Heavy Metal as well as his previously reported HBO series. It's doubtful that he'll take on all these projects due to his demanding schedule. Same old story. You know how he is. I'm still waiting for him to clean out the damn rain gutters like he promised he was gonna do. (Variety)

‘Diary of a Wimpy Kid’ Actress Rachael Harris

Monday, March 15 by

Rachael Harris has made guest appearances in a ton of TV shows, including "Reno 911" and "The Sarah Silverman Program." She also played Ed Helms' bitchy wife in The Hangover. She's funny, cute, and has a sexy librarian thing going on when she wears glasses. A word from Rachael: "Maybe because I’m an improviser and I was ready for anything that he was going to bring."And she rolls with the punches. What more could you ask for? I'm pretending she's talking about gettin' freaky, and not acting.More sexy librarian pics of Rachael after the jump.

Ron Perlman is Conan’s Papa, Not Mickey Rourke

Monday, March 15 by

Ron Perlman's face is a photo-cropper's worst nightmare.When it was first reported that Mickey Rourke was joining Marcus Nispel's Conan remake, I was skeptical. The project just seemed to be too much in the B movie realm for Rourke. Also, it must be impossible to insure your film when you have Mickey Rourke and swords on set. But then I just figured that it was a cocaine-based decision and the money was too good to pass up. Sorry Eric Roberts, but Mickey Rourke has a rubber cement habit to support.Since that report, Rourke has dropped out in favor of Gods of War. Hellboy and Season of the Witch star Ron Perlman has stepped in to play Corin in his stead and it seems like a much better fit. Also note that Rachel Nichols and Said Taghmaoui (both of GI Joe) are rounding out the cast. Unless false reports pop up saying that Sir Richard Attenborough is circling the project, we can assume that the film is cast and the universe is balanced once again. (Vulture)

12 Best ‘South Park’ Political Parodies

Monday, March 15 by

From its earliest days, "South Park" has been at its best when it is mocking the hypocrisy and stupidity of people and their foibles, and nowhere is this more evident than in the many episodes where it has forayed into political parody.  Sometimes the episode has been merely subtly political, whereas others, such as the episode about the conclusion of the 2008 presidential race, have been overtly so. Regardless of the context, you can usually count on "South Park" to deliver an entertaining and insightful ride where not a single soul is left blameless and everybody ends up with egg on their face, be they the President of the United States or Osama bin Laden.   The season premiere of "South Park" this Wednesday features a bit of a parody on the recent Blackwater scandal, and so in honor of that, Screen Junkies presents…

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