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Steve Carell Wants To Be a Rock Star In ‘Of All The Things’

Wednesday, September 29 by

Steve Carell has hired writers John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein to turn him into a rock star. Of All The Things will be based on the 2008 documentary of the same name that "told the story of how songwriter/producer Dennis Lambert achieved rock star status late in life when he went on a singing tour of the Philippines, and discovered he was to Filipinos what Jerry Lewis is to the French." The Hasselhoff to Germans would have been a more impressive comparison. 
This is just one of twenty-million projects Carell is currently attached to. He previously hired Daley and Goldstein to write Burt Wonderstone, in which he'd play a magician who kills his performing partner and tries to rebound. With all this rock star and magician talk, you'd think Carell would just put on a live show already instead of wasting time on all these talkies. I'd rather spend a romantic evening under the stars with him singing "Rhinestone Cowboy" and "Baby Come Back" instead of sitting in a stuffy theater watching him portray the guy who wrote those hits. Bill Silva, let's make this event happen. You can shout me on my Sidekick. (Deadline)

Brett Ratner Is a Damn ‘Communist’

Wednesday, September 29 by

For years, I've been saying that Brett Ratner is a damn communist, and for years my allegations have fallen on deaf ears. But now, I finally have the proof I need to bring down this pinko once and for all.

Ratner is set to direct The Reluctant Communist, the story about Charles Robert Jenkins, a U.S. Army soldier who ended up spending 40-years as a "prisoner" in North Korea after "drunkenly" deserting during the Korean War. While "imprisoned," Jenkins was "forced" to act in North Korean propaganda films and became a national celebrity, usually playing the evil American. There are worse ways to spend a 40-year prison term. Why do I keep thinking of the scene where they first thaw out Austin Powers?

Basil Exposition: Austin, the Cold War is over!
Austin Powers: Finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh? Eh comrades? Eh?
Basil Exposition: Austin… we won.
Austin Powers: Oh, smashing, groovy, yay capitalism!

At any rate, hopefully Ratner will do some on-site research in North Korea very soon. (Variety)

Fox Cancels ‘Lone Star’ After Two Episodes

Wednesday, September 29 by

They didn't even get the chance to shoot cool promo materials.
"Lone Star" is cancelled. The show was considered by many to be the best and brightest of the new season, but after two low-rated airings was put out to pasture by Fox. It's a shame too. I was one of the four people who caught the first episode, and really dug it. Yes, it set itself up to be a little soapy but showed a pride and production value that you don't get with many shows nowadays. The network has pulled all future episodes from the schedule and will replace with new episodes of "Lie to Me." And if that doesn't work, there's always "House" re-runs. As anyone with the USA Network knows. (EW)

George Lucas Wants Jar Jar Binks in 3D for 2012

Tuesday, September 28 by

George Lucas must have lost a lot of credits betting on pod races over the weekend, because he's hard at work trying to scrounge up some quick cash. And there's no easier way for the man to make money than re-releasing Star Wars yet again, this time in 3D.

Actually, there is better way: he can re-release all six Star Wars films in 3D in 2012. After all, the Battle of Yavin will look cool in 3D, but Jar Jar Binks stepping in sh*t will be out of this world! (Empire Online)

‘Avatar’ Porn Parody Trailer Won’t Give You Blue Balls

Tuesday, September 28 by

This doesn't need much set up. It's the trailer for Axel Braun's This Ain't Avatar XXX 3D porn parody. It doesn't show anything explicit, but you can probably guess how the blue creatures in it connect. Hint: penis and vagina. (i09)
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Exclusive: RZA Talks ‘The Man With The Iron Fist’ Fighting Techniques

Tuesday, September 28 by

Wu-Tang Clan’s The RZA is moving into film directing with an idea that would make The Shaw Brothers proud. The Man with the Iron Fist will star Russell Crowe in RZA’s ultimate concept for martial arts. There’s been a little speculation so far about RZA’s ultimate vision. During Fantastic Fest, after he presented master Yuen Wu-Ping with a lifetime achievement award, RZA told me his idea for Iron Fist fights.
More from RZA after the jump…

‘Lost’ Star Josh Holloway Recruited For ‘Mission: Impossible 4′

Tuesday, September 28 by

Josh Holloway, best known for playing con man and quip spouter Sawyer on "Lost," has chosen to accept Mission: Impossible 4 as his next project. He'll suit up with a cast that already includes Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Paula Patton, Ving Rhames, and Simon Pegg. No details on who he'll play or what he'll do or how the movie will include a plot. I do know the when. It's shooting in the fall for a December 2011 release.
Mission: Impossible 4 will be directed by Brad Bird, the guy who makes terrific animated movies. It's the first studio film for Holloway and the first live action studio film for Bird. Talk about the odd men out. If some teasing and serious intimidation on Tom Cruise's part doesn't cause rifts in production someone isn't taking full advantage of their elite Hollywood status. Give the rookies purple nurples while you still can, veterans! (THR)

Jared Harris Is Moriarty In ‘Sherlock Holmes 2′

Tuesday, September 28 by

Sweet belt-buckle, bro!!
There's been a lot of speculation about who would end up playing Professor Moriarty in Sherlock Holmes 2. The list of candidates for the role of Holmes's greatest enemy boasted big names such as Brad Pitt and Daniel Day Lewis. And now, the waiting is over. Without further ado, the man who will play Sherlock Holmes's archnemesis is…. "Mad Men's" Jared Harris. Wait, what? The nerd who got drunk and put a steak on his crotch? That's the guy we're talking about here? Shut the front door.
Latino Review broke the story first and I was skeptical. Then Collider confirmed the story and I was less leery, but this still seems like a long shot to me. Guy Ritchie does realize this movie will be playing in America, right?

Fantastic Fest Review: ‘Never Let Me Go’

Tuesday, September 28 by

**Sort Of Spoiler Alert**
Mark Romanek’s cloning drama turned out to be secret screening #2 at Fantastic Fest. Never Let Me Go is about a school for kids who find out they’re being bred solely to donate organs, and they’ll probably die after three or four donations. There was an action movie version of this a few years ago, but it wasn’t very good and didn’t do very well so Romanek’s version may as well be original.
More after the jump…

Paul Haggis In Talks For ‘Equalizer’

Tuesday, September 28 by

The proper balance is ever so delicate.
It seems like Russell Crowe doesn't care what movies he does at this point in his career, and he's taking Paul Haggis down with him. After helping Crowe hit his marks on The Next Three Days, the writer/director is in negotiations to script and possibly direct the big screen adaptation of The Equalizer that Crowe is doing for some reason.
I can understand an actor or a writer's desire to do lighter fair, and there's certainly nothing wrong with that. But look before you leap. Anthony Hopkins didn't, and he ended up playing a chimp. (THR)

‘Better With You’ Actress Joanna Garcia

Tuesday, September 28 by

 
Joanna Garcia is one classy babe who appeals to lovers of blondes, redheads, and brunettes. She was originally a member of 'The Midnight Society' for two seasons on Nickelodeon's "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" Joanna has since graduated from the popular Nick show to the new CBS "Friends"-like sitcom "Better With You."
A word from Joanna: "Whenever I'm belting out a song, my boyfriend asks me to stop. He's like, Please, no."
More pics of Joanna after the jump…

First Episode of ‘Dexter’ Season 5

Tuesday, September 28 by

I'm providing this for all you folks who are unfortunate enough to have to steal cable from a person who doesn't subscribe to Showtime. The first episode of the new season of "Dexter" may have moved slower than some prefer, but I guarantee you it's setting up awesome stuff to come. I've seen through episode three. You won't be disappointed. Let me know what you think in the comments section.

Fantastic Fest Review: ‘Rubber’

Tuesday, September 28 by

Rubber became a Cannes phenomenon based on its outrageous premise. That alone carried it through Fantastic Fest where its first screening sold out, and I finally made it into the second, which also sold out.

All you need to know is that it is about a tire that kills people. That is enough to get you to see Rubber. That’s certainly all I needed to hear. I would watch a trilogy about killer tires.
More after the jump…

Natalie Portman Almost Totally Up For A Sequel To ‘The Professional’

Tuesday, September 28 by

Hey, do you guys wanna see a sequel to The Professional? Well, too bads. It's scripted and good to go and Natalie Portman wants it to happen (although she's refused to read it), but it's just one of those things that will probably never come together. The obstacle here is Luc Besson. Portman will only take part in the sequel if the semi-retired director steps behind the lens, but he only seems interested in crapping out more Transporter films.
To further impede production, Columbiana director and "Ben 10" villian Olivier Megaton says that the company who holds the rights has no interest in a sequel. Which causes me to question, why do they hate awesome? (MTV)

Hopkins-rite-main

The Rite

Tuesday, September 28 by

Director: Mikael Hafstrom Cast: Anthony Hopkins, Colin O’Donoghue, Alice Braga Synopsis: An American priest travels to Italy to study at an exorcism school. Release Date: January 28, 2011

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