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Mark Wahlberg Continues Slow, Methodical Takeover of HBO

Wednesday, October 20 by

I'm going to executive produce your face off!
Mark Wahlberg's gradual takeover of HBO moved one step closer to the tipping point with the announcement that he and Malcolm Gladwell are teaming up to produce a spy drama for the network. This brings Wahlberg's total number of HBO "executive producer" credits up to 55, give or take several dozen. Stephen Levinson and Charles Randolph will also act as executive producers, whatever that means.

The as-of-yet untitled series will take place in Cold War-era Berlin, and follow the exploits of a missionary who falls in with the CIA. In the interest of proving the writers at Vulture wrong, we will not go in for the easy "missionary position" joke, although God knows it would be hilarious if we did. (Vulture)

‘Piranha 3DD’ Schedules Blood, Boobs for August 2011

Wednesday, October 20 by

It's no surprise that Piranha 3D is getting a sequel. It's also no surprise that the sequel's title contains a pun involving breasts (Piranha 3DD). What is surprising is the fact that the film is scheduled to hit theaters in August 2011. I know they're not exactly going for an Oscar, but less than a year is still a pretty quick turn around time.

John Gulager (Feast) is set to direct, while Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan (Saw sequels) will pen the script. Let's hope Melton and Dunstan are fast writers. To speed things up, might I suggest using the word "tits" instead of "breasts," the word "fish" instead of "piranha," and the symbol for "$" in place of the words "plot," "character development" and "dignity." (Empire)

‘Biutiful’ Trailer With Alternative Critic Quotes

Tuesday, October 19 by

NotZombies switched out the pull quotes in the Biutiful trailer and I have to say it peaked piqued my interest more than the original. Seriously, how did no one address the kid on the ceiling before?
"The best links you'll see all year."
New on DVD & Blu-ray: Predators and Please Give (Moviefone)
Jimmy McMillan, Candidate for Governor, Thinks the Rent is Too Damn High (Asylum)
Top Six Anti-Immigration Activists Caught Using Illegal Labor (Ranker)
Five People Besides Junior Seau Who Drove Off a Cliff (HolyTaco)
The 10 Most Pretentious Quotes from Jackass 3D Reviews (FilmDrunk)
Maximum Warrior Challenge: Pistol Marksmanship (Maxim)
Extreme Sports Broken Face Showdown (BarstoolSports)
Nine Athletes That Would Make Freakishly Awesome Soccer Players (EgoTV)
The Porn Industry's Condom Problem (Pajiba)
The 10 Funniest Halo Reach Kills to Date (Unreality)
Picture of the Day: America's Version of Cigar Guy (TotalProSports)
21 Animals Setting a Horrible Example (Smosh)
The Top 12 Cities for Bros to Live in After Graduation (BroBible)
Jessica Alba Busted With Cameltoe (CelebJihad)
Aldo Turned Down a UFC Lightweight Bout With Florian in December (CagePotato)
Meet Prince Harry's New Rockstar Girlfriend (PopEater)
Germany Gives Soccer a Bad Name (TuVez)
Twitter Predicts the Stock Market (MadeMan)

Matt Reeves, Jonathan Demme, and Some Other Dudes In The Running To Direct ‘Pride And Prejudice And Zombies’

Tuesday, October 19 by

The director's chair left vacant by David O. Russell on Pride And Prejudice And Zombies is being retro-fitted for a few more asses. Jonathan Demme, Matt Reeves, the Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs guys, and Mike White joined previously announced asses David Slade, Neil Marshall, and Mike Newell for a shot at plunking down for some on-set bad back support.
As with everything nowadays, the casting list is also uncertain now that Natalie Portman has walked from the starring role. Bradley Cooper, Scarlett Johansson, Mia Wasoshoushawkasa, Tilda Swinton, and Catherine O'Hara are all rumored for the project. It's impressive that so many big names (and Mike White) are interested in the project. I'm sure it will end up in good hands (or Mike White's). (The Wrap)

‘Glee’ Girls Lea Michele, Dianna Agron Sexy Hot Super Fly Pics

Tuesday, October 19 by

Well "Glee" just got a lot more interesting. GQ explores the "Glee" phenomenon by getting stars Lea Michele and Dianna Agron to take pictures dressed as sexy school girls. There are words too, but I was too busy fixating on the above pic of normally uptight Rachel (Lea Michele) licking a lollipop in white undies. No wonder the cast can't stop having sex with each other. Why can't the girls prance around the halls in this getup every week? I wouldn't care if they sang Michael Bolton nonstop.
More hot pics of the "Glee" girls after the jump…

Mark Wahlberg Offered ‘The Crow’

Tuesday, October 19 by

In retrospect, I shouldn't have attempted this.
Bloody Disgusting is reporting that Mark Wahlberg has been offered the opportunity to get really super emo in The Crow. The original big screen adaptation was directed by Alex Proyas and followed Eric Draven, who is murdered and comes back to kill the men responsible for putting down him and his fiancée. Brandon Lee was accidently killed by a loaded gun during filming. I say nothing is an accident when Michael Wincott is on set.
Hasn't Wahlberg kind of already done this role in Max Payne? He didn't wear makeup and sling an ax (that's a guitar, for all you squares), but he got revenge for his family's murder with moody music and lighting. My guess is nothing will come of this rumor. Wahlberg should know better than to take the reigns from Crow: Salvation's Eric Mabius of ABC's "Ugly Betty."

Zach Galifianakis Takes Issue With ‘The Hangover 2′

Tuesday, October 19 by

It looks like Zach Galifianakis doesn't want to eat the cooter banana. While appearing recently on the Comedy Death Ray podcast, the notoriously choosey star of G-Force, "Tru Calling," and Out Cold  intimated that he's having some "moral" issues with what Todd Phillips is planning to do on The Hangover 2.
“But a movie you’re acting in, you don’t have a lot of control — you just show up and vomit your lines out. I’m not the boss. I’m in a deep protest right now with a movie I’m working on, up in arms about something. But I can’t get the guys to [listen] … I’m not making any leeway.” Galifianakis cut host Scott Aukerman off with an abrupt warning sound as the host began to mention the film’s title, but after Aukerman pressed, “I know you’re filming The Hhhhhhhh … ” Galifianakis admitted, “It has something to do with a movie I’m working on, yeah. I’ll tell you about it later. It’s very frustrating.”
People are assuming that Galifianakis is taking issue with the inclusion of a Mel Gibson cameo in the film. Which is kind of silly. Sure, the man is considered vile right now and this is a case of stunt casting in the highest degree, but in all fairness, he was going to be hungover anway. Can you really blame Todd Phillips if he happens to point a camera at it? (Vulture)

Marvel Characters Get ‘Tron’ Treatment

Tuesday, October 19 by

Nerd worlds have officially collided. In anticipation of the release of Disney's Tron Legacy, Marvel Comics has created variant covers to celebrate just how nerdy nerd things can get. Beginning in November, superheroes Captain America, Spider-man, Iron Man, and others will get rave-friendly neon lights added to their attire. If you speak fluent nerd, the issues featuring Tron variants, and spotlighted characters, are as follows:

• AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #651 TRON Variant, featuring Spider-Man
• AVENGERS #7 TRON Variant. featuring Spider-Woman
• AVENGERS ACADEMY #7 TRON Variant, featuring Quicksilver
• CAPTAIN AMERICA #612 TRON Variant, featuring Captain America
• INCREDIBLE HULKS #618 TRON Variant, featuring Ghost Rider
• INVINCIBLE IRON MAN #33 TRON Variant, featuring Iron Man
• NEW AVENGERS #7 TRON Variant, featuring Ms. Marvel
• SECRET AVENGERS #7 TRON Variant, featuring Moon Knight
• THOR #617 TRON Variant, featuring Thor
• WOLVERINE #4 TRON Variant, featuring Wolverine
In all honesty though, these re-interpretations look pretty sweet. I just wish it didn't feel so whorey. It's as if each of the above comics should come with a BK Broiler with a cutesy name like the BK Tronoiler. It doesn't sound the least bit appetizing, but you'd eat it because the pickles glow. Hot damn, I'm a marketing genius. Now to the lab to make pickles glow…
Check out more varient cover pics after the jump…

‘Scream 4′ Has A New, Better Extended Teaser

Tuesday, October 19 by

"I'm not taking this call."
Scream 4 can't get enough of teasing us. Yesterday we showed you a bootlegged Scream 4 teaser from Spike TV's "Scream Awards." Today, we have a new teaser. A better teaser. A Culkinier teaser.
This extended teaser builds on the footage we saw yesterday and presents the "new rules" of the film. The kills have got to be way more extreme, virgins are fair game (sorry Hans), and the killer should film their kills now. Which makes no sense if you don't want to get caught. If you thought Michael Bay was pissed about those puppies, just imagine how he'll react to someone posting a Courtney Cox snuff film. Dude's a serious "Cougar Town" fan.
Check out the new teaser after the jump…

Doug Funnie Teaches You How to Dougie

Tuesday, October 19 by

It's a slow news morning and this video is so stupidly awesome that I had to post it. It features Doug Funnie from Nickelodeon's "Doug" teaching everyone how to Dougie. Even Skeeter and Patty Mayonaise get in on the action. This probably isn't what Cali Swag District had in mind when they created the ridiculous dance craze, but it'll do. I'm more of a Berney dance guy myself.
Also, this is amusing.

Learn how to Dougie from Doug after the jump…

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Are You Ready For ‘Jackass 4D’?

Tuesday, October 19 by

The news that Jackass 3D antiqued the competition this past weekend (take that, Helen Mirren!) wasn’t too shocking. However, the news that the film had the biggest opening ever for…

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‘Glee’ Creator May Ruin ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’

Tuesday, October 19 by

By definition, a “cult classic” is a film that has acquired a highly devoted but specific group of fans. This is certainly true of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which…

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Confirmed: Mel Gibson Lands Role in ‘The Hangover 2′

Tuesday, October 19 by

Mel Gibson runs with a pack. The Mel Gibson comeback express is leaving the station, and the first stop is The Hangover 2. The second stop is some sort of…

Watch Javier Bardem Emote in ‘Biutiful’ Trailer

Monday, October 18 by

Give me Oscar. Can you smell it? That’s the Oscar race getting closer, my friends. Roadside Attractions has dropped the trailer for Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu‘s Biutiful. Javier Bardem already won…

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BIUTIFUL

Monday, October 18 by

The story of a man in free fall. On the road to redemption, darkness lights his way. Connected with the afterlife, Uxbal is a tragic hero and father of two who's sensing the danger of death. He struggles with a tainted reality and a fate that works against him in order to forgive, for love, and forever.

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