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‘Sorcerer’s Apprentice’ Teaser Poster Could Be Many Things

Thursday, April 15 by

The new teaser poster for The Sorcerer's Apprentice could be many things.It could be an image captured by an intrepid papparazzo who snuck up to a window at Nicolas Cage's house, only to find the star glaring back out at him.Two years after completing work on Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call, New Orleans, Nicolas Cage can't put down the pipe.He's borrowing jewelry from his son now.This is early concept art for his team-up with Bone Thugs n Harmony.Nicolas Cage will appear in any movie. All you have to do is ask.(via ComingSoon)

Interpreting ‘Twilight’

Wednesday, April 14 by

If those owls are made of poop then this is an accurate graphic.What the Internet sees.Chris Rock Eulogizes Tracy Morgan (Moviefone)10 Things You Should Never Say to a Call Girl (Asylum)Mel Gibson Leaving His Baby Mama (PopEater)25 Athlete Mugshots (HolyTaco)Bizarrely Metrosexual Shrek Photoshoot (FilmDrunk)8 Trippy Scenes in Non-Trippy Movies (Unreality)Just a Monkey Doing Non-Stop Pushups (TotalProSports)Hot Pics of Arianny Celeste (Maxim)Chael Sonnen Weighs in on Anderson Sllva (CagePotato)Kim Kardashian Flashes Her Useless Ass (CelebJihad)Live Bomb Removed from Guy's Head (Smosh)'Green Hornet' Will Be One Giant Ball of Suck (Pajiba)How to Save Some Cash for the Tax Man (Atom)7 Signs You're the Jerk in the Room (MadeMan)Kyle Goes to Walley World (AllLeftTurns)

Michael Bay Giving Us Only ‘One Way Out’

Wednesday, April 14 by

NO RULES!!!!!!Michael Bay is about to tackle a brand new subject: reality. The director will get a strangle-hold on the action-adventure reality series "One Way Out." It's being called "a game with no rules" and apparently also a game with no solid premise, as evidenced by Bay's description:"For my first television project I wanted to do something that had never been done before, and I believe that One Way Out accomplishes that. Combining unique twists, death-defying challenges, and stunning visuals, we are reinventing the genre, showing just how far people will go when they are stripped of their bare necessities and forced to do whatever it takes to survive."The man clearly woke up from a dream and wrote that down in his bitchin' idea pad. Clear it up a bit for us, press release writer:The reality adventure series will pit ordinary people from all walks of life against each other, creating extreme competition and deep allegiances. All players have secret pasts that must be kept hidden from their fellow competitors, setting the stage for an intense game of trust and betrayal. Players will be forced to adapt to and conquer new hostile environments each week, building towards a climactic showdown where all secrets are exposed and a shocking development revealed.Nope, still sounds like a hodgepodge of adverbs and buzz words. They should just call it "Michael Bay's Reality Show!" So much reality it's f*cking unreal!Magical Elves, the production company behind the hits "Top Chef" and "Project Runway" will hold Bay's hand through the process. Then he'll break their thumbs, kill the guards, and hop on his personal helicopter, because no one tells Michael Bay how the world really works. NO ONE. (Deadline)

Hayley Atwell Will Play Captain America’s Wifey

Wednesday, April 14 by

Well, now I look like a liar again. Awesome. Previous reports that Alice Eve was the front-runner to play Peggy Carter in Captain America were proved bunk today. The role will officially go to Hayley Atwell, a young British actress best known for her appearance in The Duchess and for accepting Marvel's small payday.Personally, I blame Captain America himself for all of the back and forth. His hesitancy to just hurry up and just pick a girlfriend lead to this. If he had followed my advice and agreed to have his own "Bachelor"-esque reality show, this would have been much easier on everyone.And we would have got to see Emily Blunt in a bikini. (THR)

Comedy Central Picks Up ‘Onion Sports Network’

Wednesday, April 14 by

Haha. Right in the nuts.Thank God. Now comedy nerds can go into a sports bar and enjoy 10 Cent Wing Night without fear of ridicule from the jocks. Comedy Central has ordered ten episodes of the sports-themed satire "Onion Sports Network," allowing nerds everywhere to bluff their way through sports conversations when, in truth, their sports knowledge is limited to the third act of Major League. A spin-off of the popular newspaper, website, and recently-announced TV show, "OSN" will target teams, athletes, fans, and ridiculous endorsements with "the same sharpness we've seen applied to the world of politics and popular culture." (THR) A taste of things to come, after the jump….

‘The Joneses’ Actress Amber Heard

Wednesday, April 14 by

Amber Heard has experience playing the "naughty hot chick" and the "nice hot chick." She starred in All The Boys Love Mandy Lane," which no one had a chance to see, and The Informers, which is worse than bamboo chutes in the peehole.A word from Amber: "I love to cook. When I'm away I miss my pots and pans and my spices."Then giiiiit in the kitchen, woman! Sorry, I had to take that one. Feel free to flick off the screen.More spicy pics of Amber after the jump.

Freddy’s So Proud of That Glove in New ‘Elm Street’ Clip

Wednesday, April 14 by

Well, whoop-tee-doo!!! This new clip from A Nightmare On Elm Street gives us a better look at the "micro-naps" introduced in the previous trailer. They occur when the insomniac has been awake for 70 hours, forcing them to dream without falling asleep. I gotta say the device is used to nice effect here, fading between the drug store and the boiler room as Freddy Krueger menaces his victim. Speaking of Krueger, we get a pretty good look at him too. But enough with the glove already. Always scraping the blades against pipes or clanking them together. We get it, dude. You're the "glove guy." It's your thing. Such a show-off with your fancy toys. And stop playing with your iPad when I'm trying to talk to you! (Yahoo)Don't sleep on this clip after the jump…

Review: ‘Kick-Ass’

Wednesday, April 14 by

Kick-AssR, 118m., 2010Cast: Aaron Johnson, Chloe Mortez, Christopher Mitz-Plasse, Mark Strong, and Nicolas CageDirected by Matthew VaughnScreenplay by Jane Goldman and Matthew Vaughn based upon the Mark Millar comic Kick-Ass…

David Gordon Green to Make Biopic About ‘The Barefoot Bandit’

Wednesday, April 14 by

You may or may not know the story of Colton Harris-Moore, the teenaged burglar who has remained at large for the last two years, having stolen (and crashed) several vehicles, boats, and aircrafts in that time. He was once witnessed fleeing a burgled home in western Washington State with no shoes, leading to the nickname "the Barefoot Bandit." He's also known as "the Teen Houdini," "the Boy Who Could Fly," and "the Shoeless Asshole." (That last one was coined by me.)Taking Flight: The Hunt for a Young Outlaw is a book proposal about Harris-Moore's insane legend to which David Gordon Green and his Rough House Pictures brosefs Danny McBride and Jody Hill now own the film rights. And understandably so. Pooping outdoors. Eating garbage. Stealing pies from window sills. Constantly on the run from Ranger Smith. This kid is living the life!! (Variety)

“We’ve Got Company!” Montage

Tuesday, April 13 by

Usually in movies when someone unexpected or undesired arrives on the scene one or more characters utter the words "We've got company!!!" It doesn't happen as often as a mirror scare, but it's cliché enough for a montage.We've got links!!!'Iron Man 2' Inspired By 'Rocky III'? (Moviefone)When Twitter Drinks too Much Vodka (Asylum)Michael J. Fox Chats About New Book (PopEater)Heidi Montag Plastic Surgery Diagram (HolyTaco)Jake Gyllenhaal to Play Joe Namath (FilmDrunk)Shaq Has Gone Marbury Crazy (TotalProSports)5 Comedy Sequels That Could Work (Unreality)Gray Maynard Still Patiently Waiting His Turn (CagePotato)Tiger Woods to Sex Phil Mickelson's Wife (CelebJihad)Steven Seagal and His Dirty Secrets (Smosh)5 Awesome Monster Face-Off Movie Trailers (Pajiba)The Perfect 'Entourage' Parody (Atom)Places to Have Sex Before You Die (MadeMan)Kahne to Hendrick (AllLeftTurns)8 Sexual Acts All Men Should Conquer (RegretfulMorning)

Crying Guy Cries the Best

Tuesday, April 13 by

Best Cry Ever – Watch more Funny Videos I'm assuming this clip is from A&E's "Intervention, which is clearly a somber show, but no apology deserves this kind of reaction. Check out my mashup below. Tom Hanks Jokes with Crying Guy – Watch more Funny Videos

Joss Whedon in Final Negotiations to Direct ‘The Avengers’

Tuesday, April 13 by

I assumed the announcement that Joss Whedon was on the the shortlist to direct Marvel and Disney's big ol' Avengers movie/super-hero dogpile was an Internet hoax. But today there are reports that the King of the Nerds is in final negotiations for the job. One question though. Really?No offense to Whedon. I'm a fan. I'm sure he'll deliver. It's just that I wouldn't expect Marvel to hand their prized pig to a guy who's only directed one feature, although Serenity was really enjoyable. Then there's the fact that he'll have to cast Eliza Dushku. I don't see the fans embracing a Wasp born and raised in Worcester, Massachusetts. (Deadline)

Sarah Connor vs. Chunk

Tuesday, April 13 by

And she thought cyborgs were tough to kill…

Andrew Niccol Directing Dumbly-Titled ‘I’m.mortal’

Tuesday, April 13 by

Writer/director Andrew Niccol is returning to the world of science fiction and nerd love. The Gattaca and Lord of War director is preparing to helm I'm.mortal, from his own script. THR has the details:The story is set in the not-too-distant future where the aging gene has been switched off. To avoid overpopulation, time has become the currency and the way people pay for luxuries and necessities. The rich can live forever, while the rest try to negotiate for their immortality. The protagonist is a poor young man who comes into a fortune of time, though too late to help his mother from dying. He ends up on the run from a corrupt police force known as "time keepers."It's said that this is to be the most commercial of Niccol's work. Mainly because the premise's device would allow for a hot, young cast to attract and capitalize upon the tween demographic with their hypnotic abdominal muscles.Sounds like a really interesting premise. Gattaca with shades of Logan's Run. Not a fan of the title though. I'm.mortal sounds like something a Black Eyed Pea would tattoo on his or her clavicle.

’90210′ Actress Lori Loughlin

Tuesday, April 13 by

Lori Loughlin, or better known as Aunt Becky, captured our hearts as Uncle Jesse's main squeeze on "Full House." She also appeared in Old Dogs alongside Jon Travolta recently, which I don't condone, but everyone does one for the money now and again. Like that entire cast.   A word from Laurie: "You have to make difficult choices in your life, and you just have to be happy with them."Like what I shall have for dinner tonight. Do I go with the country breaded chicken or lemon pepper fish frozen meal. Ahhhhh, decisions make me angry!These pics of Lori after the jump will calm my nerves…

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