Pirate Attire Fail

Monday, August 30 by

Sure, the grammar is incorrect, but the fail is spot on.
Here are your form-fitting links.
Critic Vs. Critic: Is The Internet Good Or Bad For Movie Criticism? (Moviefone)
Porn Judge's Case Not Looking So Hot (Asylum)
30 Greatest On-Stage Falls Of All Time (Ranker)
25 Cosplay Girls From Fan Expo 2010 (HolyTaco)
'The Pacific' Sells 3D Battle Of Midway Pitch (FilmDrunk)
Clooney-Off: Jack VS. Jack Foley (Maxim)
Girl Busts Her Ass Sliding Down A Rail (BarStoolSports)
7 Ways To Make The Red Carpet More Interesting (EgoTV)
So Damn Sure  Of Ourselves, Aren't We? (Pajiba)
What Do These Two Ladies Have In Common (Unreality)
Now This Is A Goal Line  Stand! (TotalProSports)
23 Clever Ways To Wear Duct Tape (Smosh)
Best Boobs On TV: Christina Hendricks Vs. Sofia Vergara (BroBible)
Vanessa Hudgens Claims TO Pwn Noobs (CelebJihad)
'Never Back Down 2' In The Works? (CagePotato)
'True Blood' Cast Dumps HBO For 'Mad Men' Bash (PopEater)
Deep Fried Beer And Frozen Beer (MadeMan)

Curtains Up On ‘Robocop: The Musical’ and ‘Terminator 2: The Opera’

Monday, August 30 by

The guys who produced the whimsical, yet tragic, Total Recall: The Musical are back with two new productions that'll have you cheering in your box seats. Robocop: The Musical and Terminator 2: The Opera are probably my favorite renditions thus far by Jon and Al. They've managed to keep both of the videos under four minutes, so they don't overstay their welcome. If they could stage a live production these guys would take Broadway by storm. (ToplessRobot)
Check out the musicals after the jump…

Darren Aronofsky Enters The ‘Wolverine 2′ Race

Monday, August 30 by

David Slade would be wise not to decorate his home office with Wolverine action figures just yet. Though it was believed that the helmer of Hard Candy and assorted vampire movies was a shoe-in for the Wolverine Goes To Japan directing gig, a new contendor has emerged. Granted, he's a highly-unlikely candidate, but Darren Aronofsky's hat has somehow been thrown into the ring. Whether he threw that hat himself, or some neighbor kid bully threw it in the ring just to be a jerk remains to be seen.
Given Aronofsky's body of work, I'm going to go ahead and rule him out. The X-Men films have been twisted into goofy, popcorn wannabe-action films, and Wolverine is no exception. Though if anyone could lend some gravity to the material, it's Aronofsky. Look what he did for Marlon Wayans. (Deadline)

‘M:I 4′ Hopefuls Lauren German, Kristin Kreuk, and Paula Patton Are In Tom Cruise’s Sights

Monday, August 30 by

Now that Jeremy Renner has been cast to distract from the fact that box office poison Tom Cruise is appearing in Mission: Impossible 4, it's time to figure out which skinny actress will be running around and firing Uzi's that somehow don't shatter her wrist. And the contenders are Hostel 2's Lauren German, Streetfighter's Kristin Kreuk, and Alan Thicke's daughter-in-law Paula Patton.
The three actresses are all testing for the role of a female operative in the Brad Bird-helmed sequel. Nothing more is known about the character beyond that description, but let's assume she will wear a leather bodysuit. All the best spies do. (Deadline)

‘True Blood’ Recap: Fresh Blood S3E11

Monday, August 30 by

Previously on "True Blood": Sookie found out she's a fairy. Sam flashed back on a former life of crime. Eric prepared to go after, and probably get killed by, King Russell. Human kind reacted poorly to Russell killing a human anchor on-air. Arlene looked into mystical abortion. Jason admitted to Tara that he killed Eggs. Lafayette and Jesus dropped some V and had a shared vision of their voodoo relatives. Meth cook Crystal turned into a panther and broke into Jason's bedroom. Hoyt was attacked by Tommy in pit bull form and was saved by Jess. Eric made out with Sookie and then chained her up in his basement. Ok, on to this week.
More after the jump…

Relax With These Peaceful ‘War Horse’ Set Photos

Monday, August 30 by

These photos that a Collider reader snagged from Steven Spielberg's War Horse set will calm your Monday morning nerves. I've been casually flipping through them with Enya on in the background and the outside world has melted away.
We haven't told you much about the film since its lead protagonist is an equine and SJ caters to people, but basically a horse named Joey is sold to the army during WWI and it wants to get back to the farm boy owner it left behind. It's a love story between a man and a beast, but not a Tijuana strip club sort of way.
Grab some Earl Grey and check out the pics after the jump…

‘Going The Distance’ Actress Kelli Garner

Monday, August 30 by admin

 
Who would ever think that being discovered at a Bar Mitzvah would lead to a solid career as an indie actress? Well look no further than Kelli Garner, the pixie blonde girl of Larry Clark's Bully, Lars and the Real Girl, and the low-budget southwest gem Dreamland. This week she goes a little more mainstream, reuniting with her Dreamland co-star Justin Long with the cross-country romance, Going The Distance.
A word from Kelli: "I'm mostly cast as the Lolita type, either a blonde bombshell Lolita, or the girl-with-black-hair-who-smokes-weed Lolita. Either way, I'm inevitably the sexpot."
Best typecasting ever.
More pics of Kelli after the jump…

Warner Bros Engages In ‘The Battle Of Midway’

Monday, August 30 by

Now imagine this in color. And 3D.
Much like Godzilla, "The Pacific" producer Bruce C. McKenna is drawing upon his love of killing Japanese people again for his next project. McKenna has sold a pitch to Warner Bros. to develop The Battle Of Midway into a big-budget 3D war epic. Reported to have a budget somewhere in the $200 million range, expect this recount of the historic air and sea battle to be a big one.
There's no word on casting or director as of yet, but we'll let you know when Clint Eastwood casts Channing Tatum as a maverick fighter pilot who is constantly at odds with by-the-book squad leader Jon Hamm. (Deadline)

Bradley Cooper and Ryan Reynolds Partnering Up to Kick Ass

Monday, August 30 by

They'll get on that ass-kicking right after bath time.
Bradley Cooper and Ryan Reynolds are teaming up to make the mean streets of San Francisco just a little safer for San Franciscans. The two actors who share a fondness for going shirtless are attached to star in an untitled original action-comedy written by Sheldon Turner (Up in the Air). THR has the rundown:
The story follows two friends, who are also San Francisco cops, whose fathers were once partners on the police force. The older generation is forced out of retirement to help their sons crack a case, with typically antagonistic results.
The actioner is meant to have an updated “Lethal Weapon” flavor that plays into edgier R-rated territory.
The pairing of Cooper and Reynolds I'm sure will be a lot of fun, but now I wanna know who's gonna play the daddies. The studio has the opportunity to put together a sweet actioner with two charismatic leads and two gruff middle-aged men as their fathers. It's too bad neither Cooper nor Reynolds is black or I would suggest Danny Glover. As both dads. He'd be getting seriously too old for this fighting crime with my twin sh*t.

Fall TV Tips: The Sitcoms About Offices

Monday, August 30 by

Last week’s breakdown of the new fall TV shows focused on sitcoms about couples. This week I’m sticking with the funny shows, but looking at the ones that are set in the workplace. There are surprisingly few of these — two to be exact — but one is worth checking out. While the other you might want to call in sick for.
WATCH IT: “Mr. Sunshine” (ABC), Midseason

Stanley Tucci Talks ‘Captain America’

Monday, August 30 by

ScreenJunkies caught up with Stanley Tucci at the press junket for Easy A. When not answering questions about the works of Nathaniel Hawthorne or how good Emma Stone smells, the Tooch talked a bit about his role as Dr. Erskine in Marvel's Captain America.
Yeah, I don't look like that character as drawn originally. The character as drawn originally is a very big, sort of square-headed, square-shouldered guy with a big white moustache and a huge thing of hair. I don't look like that. We chose to, I have a scruffy beard that we grayed even more than mine is gray, and like white hair here [above the ears], sort of longish and then glasses and a German accent.
In other words, something like this:

If you listen closely, you can hear Christopher Lloyd firing his agent off in the distance.

The ‘Thing’ Is: Bruce Willis or Kiefer Sutherland?

Monday, August 30 by

Twentieth Century Fox is putting together a cast for their latest version of the Fantastic Four, and Bruce Willis is reportedly at the top of their list to play the Thing. But Screen Rant is reporting that Kiefer Sutherland is also in contention for the role.

Since the character will be completely CGI, whoever is cast will be utilized primarily for voice over work. However, the actor will also make an appearance early on in the film as Ben Grimm, the Thing's identity before he was transformed into a rock monster.

Personally, I'm torn between the two actors. Both are more than qualified to play a pile of rocks. However, I give the slight edge to Kiefer since he's spent a good portion of his life "stoned."

Sorry. It's been a rough weekend.

‘Sitcom’, ‘Drama’ Win Big at Emmys

Monday, August 30 by

And the big winners are…
“Sitcom” and “Drama” ruled the 2010 Emmys, with “Sitcom” taking home the Emmy for best comedy series, while “Drama” took home the Emmy for best drama.

The night's other big winners included actor, who won an Emmy for his role in “Drama,” and actress, who took home the award for best actress in a comedy series.

Highlights from the show included new Conan performing pointless skits, and singer singing a melodramatic song. (Collider)

See a list of all the Emmy winners I copied from another website after the jump.

James Cameron Pees in ‘Piranha 3D’s’ Pool

Sunday, August 29 by

Hey, everybody! James Cameron has something important to say about the dangers of using 3D technology in an inappropriate manner, so listen up!
I tend almost never to throw other films under the bus, but (Piranha 3D) is exactly an example of what we should not be doing in 3-D. Because it just cheapens the medium and reminds you of the bad 3-D horror films from the 70s and 80s, like Friday the 13th 3-D. When movies got to the bottom of the barrel of their creativity and at the last gasp of their financial lifespan, they did a 3-D version to get the last few drops of blood out of the turnip.
First of all, comparing Piranha 3D to Friday the 13th Part III is like comparing Kim Kardashian to the cast of "The View." Both are incredibly stupid, but one is still fun to watch if you're in the mood (for porn). Piranha 3D knew what it was supposed to be, and it hit the mark. Critics agree, and its Rotten Tomatoes ranking rivals that of Avatar (not that the two movies should be compared). Why should a film that is meant to be nothing more than a fun, summer gore-fest be excluded from using 3D technology? Not every 3D film needs to be a smug, ham-fisted retread of Dances with Wolves.
Second, if you want to talk about squeezing blood from a turnip, how about Avatar Special Edition, which is charging fans roughly $15 dollars to see a movie that was still in theaters less than a year ago. Oh, let's not forget the eight minutes of extra footage, which comes out to about $2 per new minute. At the end of the day, if people want to pay $15 to see Avatar again, good for Cameron. But if those same people want to pay to see fish dismembering topless girls, who is he to judge? (Vanity Fair via Movie Line)

Ben Stiller Tweets ‘Zoolander 2′ Still Happening

Saturday, August 28 by

Back in February we reported that Justin Theroux was spending some time at Fashion Week in Paris doing research for his gig writing and directing the Zoolander sequel. It appears he's had his fill of brie-stuffed croissants and scantily clad models, and is back in The States collaborating with Ben Stiller. At least, that's what Stiller said via his Twitter account.
The question is, can you really trust the lead actor and executive producer on the film? And the answer to that question is yes. So for now, Zoolander 2 is moving along swimmingly with Jonah Hill still being eyed for the villain. No word yet if Owen Wilson will reprise his roll as Hansel, but Stiller has gone on record saying that the sequel couldn't be made without him. I assume that is due to Wilson being such an integral part of the Zoolander world, not because he has a penchant for spitefully burning down film sets. (/Film)