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New ‘Harry Potter’ Stills Feature Impressive Chair Fort

Thursday, January 20 by

Hot on the heels of a toe up Neville Longbottom, comes two more pics from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II.

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‘Black Panther’ Will Be The Next Way Marvel Makes Tons Of Money

Thursday, January 20 by

Recently, Marvel has made an inspired choice in finding the screenwriter for the Black Panther’s foray into film.

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Roger Ebert To Debut New Chin On New Show

Thursday, January 20 by

Movie reviews won’t be the only thing Roger Ebert will be premiering on his New PBS show ‘Ebert Presents at the Movies’. Ebert, who lost his lower jaw to thyroid cancer in 2006, will be showing off his new facial prosthesis on his new public television program.

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Brand To Add Swagger, Sleeveless Shirts, To ‘Rock Of Ages’

Thursday, January 20 by

Is it time to see if another comedian can not only act in a not-completely-slapstick role, but also SING? Well, it’s that time for Russell Brand, who is the newest purported cast addition to ‘Rock of Ages’.

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Penelope Cruz

Thursday, January 20 by

In her Spanish movies, Penelope Cruz is known to be a great actress. In her American movies, she is merely a gorgeous dark-haired woman who smiles a lot.

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Sony Helps Spurlock Sell Out By Picking Up ‘Greatest Movie’

Thursday, January 20 by

Morgan Spurlock is set to open out eyes yet again after getting his newest film, The Greatest Movie Ever Sold, picked up for distribution by Sony Studios.

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PTC Lame-os Overreact To MTV’s ‘Skins’

Thursday, January 20 by

I guess we’re not allowed to pile minors in a sweaty, semi-nude, post-opiate/coital orgy hill.

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Brand New Three Musketeers Photos Look How You’d Imagine

Thursday, January 20 by

Paul W.S. Anderson’s The Three Musketeers is coming, and there are two brand new photo to prove it!

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America WILL Fall In Love With Alex Pettyfer, Say Studios

Thursday, January 20 by

Mr. Pettyfer has recently been picked up to lead another possible franchise based on the series of young adult books titled The Mortal Instruments.

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Jesus Galifianakis

Thursday, January 20 by

The Father, the Son, and the Holy Comedian.

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Relativity Acquires Raven, Cusack Acquires Goatee

Thursday, January 20 by

The John Cusack film The Raven, in which the beloved actor portrays Edgar Allan Poe, has been acquired by Relativity Media.

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Liam Neeson Loves Money, Part 348

Thursday, January 20 by

Never one to turn down a role, the star of every other movie has returned to the Star Wars universe.

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America’s Favorite Funnyman Benicio Del Toro Playing Stooge Moe?

Thursday, January 20 by

Benicio Del Toro has been making audiences laugh in movies like Traffic and 21 Grams for a long time now. And it looks like the beloved joker may have found his next crack-’em-up role in Moe of The Three Stooges.

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‘American Idol’ Recap: The New Jersey Auditions

Thursday, January 20 by

I hate “American Idol.” But, I made one innocent comment about the size of my editor’s wife’s ass, and now I’m stuck on recap duty.

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Suzanne Sena

Thursday, January 20 by

When Suzanne Sena appears on the first episode of “Onion News Network” tomorrow evening, she’ll be playing a delicately-crafted caricature of herself.

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