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This is how I looked when I caught wind of this story. Only I had more cocaine on my face.

The ‘Scarface’ Remake Is Now In The Hands Of The ‘Donnie Brasco’ Writer

Wednesday, October 17 by

In this version, instead of yelling his famous catchphrase, he posts it on Twitter with the hashtag #littlefriend.

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Tom Cruise Must Really Want To Go To Comic-Con

Wednesday, October 17 by

How else would you describe his current sci-fi boner?

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“Honey Boo Boo” Reads Christopher Walken Quotes

Wednesday, October 17 by

We reverse engineered last week’s show. The results are horrifying.

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Harvey Keitel Performs “Call Me Maybe”

Tuesday, October 16 by

Carly Rae Jepsen traded up from that Owl City guy.

Goddamn, Jay-Z is a cool guy.

Beyoncé To Headline Super Bowl Halftime Show, Teach Me How To Type Accent Marks

Tuesday, October 16 by

In other Destiny’s Child news, Kelly Rowland has confirmed she’ll be attending a buffet tonight for dinner.

With news of this reboot, Earnest would be in tall cotton! If he wasn't long dead.

They’re Rebooting The ‘Ernest’ Movies…I Know, Right? Crazy!

Tuesday, October 16 by

David Lynch directs or GTFO.

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Ernest Had Sex And Now His ‘Son’ Has A Movie

Tuesday, October 16 by

Over the line, reboot people. Over the line!

Vroom...VROOOOOOOOM!

‘Robocop’ Reboot Pushed Back To 2014 To Make Way For ‘Elysium’

Tuesday, October 16 by

Finally, a headline that makes sense. Neill Blomkamp‘s sci-fi epic Elysium has been moved from March 2013 to August 9, 2013, suggesting that Sony’s faith in the project has grown….

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First Trailer For The ‘Carrie’ Remake. Don’t Laugh.

Tuesday, October 16 by

What Hell hath cyber-bullying wrought?

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‘Mockingbird Lane’ Actually Looks Pretty Good

Monday, October 15 by

Brilliant-but-prematurely-canceled.

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Professional Addict Aaron Paul Now Has ‘Need For Speed’

Monday, October 15 by

This guy and his needs.

It's the "Emma Watson" setting on Instagram, I believe.

Season Two Of HBO’s ‘Girls’ Will Premiere In January, Says Lena Dunham

Monday, October 15 by

It’s on Twitter, which was we all know is a legally binding contract.

Yeah. This seems like a pretty good fit.

Prince And Lady Gaga To Soundtrack The ‘Gatsby’ Film, The Way Fitzgerald Would Have Wanted It

Monday, October 15 by

Because Luhrmann loves period pieces with contemporary music. Juxtaposition!

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It’s Official: Coulson Lives! Kinda!!

Monday, October 15 by

He makes his return in the ‘S.H.I.E.L.D.’ television series.

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Because You Hate Yourself, Watch Gwyneth Paltrow & Cameron Diaz Rap Terribly

Friday, October 12 by

Shame on everyone involved.

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