The marketing people at Cinco are going to have a heart attack.
Nobody steps on a church in my town.
If you have an irrational fear of little people, this probably isn’t for you.
The Adult Swimmers are wisely asking Odenkirk to create a new television show that makes fun of the shitty production values of locally-produced videos. *Inset VCR Tracking Effects*
Robert De Niro wears his sunglasses at night.
Jayma Mays stars as the germaphobic teacher Emma Pillsbury in the new musical/comedy show Glee, but her red locks aren't a stranger to primetime television. Jayma's appeard in House, Heroes, Pushing Daisies, Entourage, and my personal favorite, Six Feet Under, among many others. She's also brought her fiery good looks to the big screen in Red Eye, and, let's forget to mention, Paul Blart: Mall Cop. There, we forgot to mention it. Go back and look for her in all the things we didn't forget to mention. She won't be hard to spot. A word from Jayma: "Oh sh*t! A talking beaver!"Man, there are so many ways we could go with a joke pertaining to the aforementioned quote. And surprisingly enough, most of them are too dirty for this site. We just hope you don't take it out of context, like we've done here, because the last thing we want is to spread the rumor that Jayma has verbal private parts. Oooooooh now we've gone and done it!Check out some pics of Jayma after the jump with zero talking beavers in them!
The seemingly-indestructible fitness legend has passed away.
Ever wonder nowadays whether the next commercial jet you fly on is going to get hijacked? If you have anxiety issues like me, this is the part where you turn your head, look out the window and gruffly whisper, "Every damn day…" Well, there's a show for people like us, or people who like being prepared. It's called "Surviving Disaster," and Season 2 premieres tonight on Spike @ 10pm ET/PT. Check out the clip below, where Navy SEAL/badass host Cade Courtley teaches us how to hog tie an airplane hijacker. How to hog tie a terrorist. – Watch more Funny Videos Who is this Courtley guy? He's like your own personal cheerleader for urban survival. He's like Bear Grylls, but useful. Face it; you're never going to get lost on a mountain. You're more likely to die from choking on a glazed donut. Or a bank heist gone awry. And guess what? Courtley covers bank heists this season. And earthquakes, and home invasions, fire, mall shootings, hurricanes and effin' nuclear attacks. And nuclear attacks are just like the world's giant glazed donuts. Silent. Deadly. And served by a Korean.
Paramount must realize the colossal turkey they have on their hands with G.I. Joe because now they're trying a new marketing approach… targeting dummies. A few weeks ago they directed their efforts on the Jersey Shore , now the LA Times is reporting that the advertising is focusing heavily on mid-America. The film is apparently embedded in the Kid Rock concert tour and advertising on giant screens in the Mall Of America. The message of this campaign being, it is your patriotic duty to see this movie. All right, fine. I love my country so I'll see this movie. Even though the post-traumatic stress will probably leave me a shell of my former self. Do your part and click on these morning links… Sacha Baron Cohen will create a new character. (The Sun)Sam Worthington replaces Tom Cruise in The Tourist. (The Playlist)Patricia Arquette spends a night with The Living Dead. (Dread Central)The Stallone Sequel Spree continues with Cliffhanger. (/Film) In defense of Funny People. (Cinema Blend)
Harold & Kumar 3 began filming today in a mall in Michigan, and the cast and creators are tweeting about their adventures. John Cho, the Asian in the dynamic cannabis-loving duo had this to say: "In Michigan, @pattonoswalt in my vicinity, holding a sketch pad, duct tape, and a reel to reel audio recorder. Eeesh." Whoa, so Patton Oswalt is on set too?! Oswalt tweeted: "Maybe it's this Michigan air, but @JohnTheCho is looking huggable, chloroform-able, and bury-able."As much as I'd love Oswalt being there to star in the movie, I gather by his tweet that he's simply hanging around set to chloroform, rape, and murder John Cho. He didn't specifically say "rape" but chloroform isn't used for much else these days. And since Kal Penn didn't chime in on Twitter, he must already be under floorboards somewhere. Check out some pics from the set after the jump…
Things keep getting worse for producers of Terminator: Salvation. Between Christian Bale's blow up, McG's pissing contest with Michael Bay, and the controversy over Moon Bloodgood's handbra, they've received a ton of free press that they couldn't spin into box office gold. Now the Halcyon Holding Group has filed for bankruptcy and is ready to sell the franchise rights to the highest bidder. Apparently all the big studios are lining up to secure the rights. But why? The last two movies were pretty abysmal and The Sarah Connor Chronicles never found the audience it deserved. With Arnie indisposed and special effects breakthroughs having plateaued it's time to face the sad, cold truth. We as a people have to face the fact that killer robots are sooo over. Let us all begrudgingly tear down our Chopping Mall posters and set fire to our I, Robot theater-lobby standees. Today will usher in the age of the friendly (probably farting) robot. But honestly, is there any way to breathe life into Terminator? Preferably one that doesn't involve putting Peter Berg behind the camera? Let us know your thoughts. (The Financial Times)
Star Trek officially opens tonight and Mother's Day is Sunday. How appropriate, then, that we introduce you to Jennifer Morrison, who plays Winona Kirk, the mother of Capt. James Tiberius Kirk, in JJ Abrams' film. There are several different backstories associated with the character, but no matter what reality you buy into as a Trekker, you can't deny Jennifer's practically playing the mother of god. Where you've seen her before: She's probably most familiar as Dr. Allison from Fox's "House" series, but she's also played Jamie in Grind, Amy in Urban Legends: Final Cut, and Chris in a small 2004 film called Mall Cop, whose makers probably hate their lives right now.Random Quote: "My resume for Cameron has me graduating medical school the year I graduated junior high.”See pictures of Jennifer after the jump:
There are all kinds of holiday films, as the 5 best Christmas action movies demonstrate. Some folks like warm sentimentality, others enjoy family fun, and a few prefer a desperate…
By Jay Riotta
How can a critically acclaimed show expect to grow an audience when 4 million viewers are busy watching some teenage skanks “raise” their bastard children on MTV’s “Teen Mom 2”? Jesus Christ, if I wanted to watch some fat high-school sophomore push her stupid kid around, I’d go hang out at the mall.
There is no accounting for taste with some movies. Every year, several films that hit theaters are loaded with bad acting, plot holes and hackneyed dialogue. The funny thing is…
The 10 best DVD releases of May 2009 is comprised of nine movies, and one HBO vampire drama. Horror, drama, and thrillers monopolize the genres of the best DVD releases of May 2009….
The Golden Globes 2010 Nominees have been announced and somehow both Old Dogs and Paul Blart: Mall Cop were left off the list. I blame the heartless Hollywood Foreign Press Association. Don't they know that all Seth Green has is his work!Avatar, Inglourious Basterds, and Up in the Air garnered four nominations each but Nine is the front runner with six nominations. Jazzhands. They're like crack to these awards people.CHECK OUT THE FULL LIST OF NOMINEES AFTER THE JUMP
That fish has a terrible sense of direction.
The former vice president’s memoir is going to make Washington reenact ‘Scanners’.
Riggle and Lennon. One will charm the hell out of you while the other screams at you mercilessly.
Democracy in action. Michael Bay has gotten it in his head to blow a whole bunch of crap up in our nation's capitol for his little movie film Transformers 3. Washington D.C. loves that Bay is bringing money to the city by shooting on location there, but it's not such a big fan of his plans to stage a "car race" along the National Mall's gravel paths and flood it with artificial light in order to shoot at night, and using simulated explosions and pyrotechnics at locations along Pennsylvania and Independence avenues. When President Obama heard the news he said, and I quote, "F*ck that sh*t. I need to sleep." Bay, however, doesn't subscribe to "laws" or "cease and desist" orders. He plans on shooting in D.C. until the National Guard drags him out bicycle-kicking and screaming. A studio spokesperson told The Washington Post, "We've gone from two weeks to 10 days to three days to seven days." They're working closely with Bay to further his understanding of time and the long hand on a watch. So far they've gotten to boom o'clock. (FilmSchoolRejects)
I’m experiencing serious zombie-fatigue, and the fact that Air Bud’s buddies are getting into the genre with the CG animated ‘Zombie Pet Shop’ is not helping.
FX has refused to even release the show’s plot. As such, they have left us no choice but to come up with our own predictions about the show’s content. Here are nine possible plotlines.
Forget Charlie, it’s the sharks you should be worried about.
They’re not naughty or nice. Just friggin’ bizarre.
Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted Theodore Logan are two movie teens that unfortunately cannot even combine enough brain cells together to pass their oral history report. But kidnapping…
Billy Bob Thornton, “Bad Santa” With the surliness of an ex-addict and the hygiene of a junkyard dog, Billy Bob Thornton’s Santa performance takes the embittered mall Santa stereotypes to…
Funny PG movies for guys show how much fellows really enjoy comedy! There is nothing like a good belly laugh to take away stress and the worries of every-day life…
The 10 best French directors created movies in a country that has long appreciated putting out something different. The country invented the New Wave style but also allowed filmmakers to…