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The Unborn

Monday, January 5 by

The Unborn follows the story of a young woman Casey (Odette Yustman) that's haunted by a menacing ghost-devil-child that threatens everyone in she loves. In order to stop the Nazi cursed ghost that gains strength by inhabiting people, Casey must travel to the terrifying unknown to end the curse forever.   Michael Bay Produces!Studio: UniversalRating: PG-13Release Date: January 9th, 2009

Welcome To The New Year Morning News

Monday, January 5 by

It's the first monday of the rest of your life. We have a black president. Marley and Me is still dominating our box office. Despite the crumbling economy and the increasing probability that the rapture will occur in YOUR lifetime, moving pictures continue to be a profitable business. Netflix is going to be built into your TV. And Steve Jobs told the world that there is something wrong with his hormones, but that he will live. All of this in our morning news links. The future, dear Junkies, is a bright one.

Ridiculous Ninja Assassin Training Video

Monday, January 5 by

I probably should have been a Ninja. Or at least a Korean Pop star who plays a Ninja in a movie. I have missed my calling. I blame my parents for never letting me go to Ninja camp or join the Korean Pop Star team in high school. This is a great behind the scenes vid of what goes into fight choreography in the production of Ninja Assassin, a film produced by the Wachowski brothers and directed by James McTeigue.The film stars stars Korean pop star Rain (Speed Racer) as Raizo, one of the deadliest assassins in the world. Taken from the streets as a child, he was transformed into a trained killer by the Ozunu Clan, a secret society whose very existence is considered a myth. But haunted by the merciless execution of his friend by the Clan, Raizo breaks free from them… and vanishes. Now he waits, preparing to exact his revenge.

Monday Night TV Fiesta

Sunday, January 4 by

Still hungover from New Years huh? Monday TV's got your back. Better make some three layer microwave nachos and watch the Fiesta Bowl, and then chill out with six whole hours of Lost reruns (you knew season 5 premiers in 16 days right?!). Only time cures hangovers (those pills at 7/11 don't work, believe me) and everyone knows that's best spent in front of your TV.  The Fiesta Bowl: OSU vs Texas 5:15 on FOX Fiesta Bowl Boise State Vs Oklahoma – Watch more Free Videos

5 Celebrities Most Likely To Die In 09

Friday, January 2 by

From: HOLY TACO. Although their list from last year went 0-8, I'm pretty sure that at least two of these five will not live to see the sun rise on 2010. Which sucks, because that's when the future officially starts. Click the image for the post.

Crank 2: High Voltage Red Band Teaser

Friday, January 2 by

It looks like they let the guys from Jackass direct a film with Jason Statham in it.  It's about that quality and has the same sort of camera work. But it's also totally badass. I liked the first Crank, mainly because of the scene where he bones the girl in the middle of a street. Also, this version has Dwight Yoakum. And Cory Haim. That automatically makes it more awesome.  Crank 2: High Voltage Red Band Trailer – Watch more free videos

Post Holiday Wrap-Up

Friday, January 2 by

It was a weird holiday season. If you have not been glued to the internet, rest assured that you have not missed much, other than a little lawsuit, some new trailers, and this picture from the cover of a 1976 edition of Sesame Street Magazine. Here is a wrap-up of some of what has happened while a lot of you were on extended vacation. Have a good friday, enjoy the weekend, and get ready to f'ing work your tits off come monday. We have an economy to fix, bro.

Crank 2 Red Band Teaser Trailer

Friday, January 2 by

Zach Snyder Explains The Watchmen

Friday, January 2 by

Amid a massive lawsuit between studios for releasing rights, Buzz for Watchmen is still being pumped out. Here's a recently released featurete with Zach Snyder breaking down the movie. He mentions that this is the first time a superhero movie has social commentary, which is kind of bullshit. All superhero movies are some sort of social commentary, including 300, which shined light on the plight of gay Spartans. Enjoy the vid. It's long enough to feel almost spoiler-ish.

New Years TV Preview

Wednesday, December 31 by

 Out with aught eight and in with the big '09. What hell happened this past year? Instead of reflecting on the global $#!t show, remember the good times, like when that guy threw his boots at George W., or when Michael Phelps won 14,000 gold medals for America. Look toward the future with a bottle of champagne, a bunch of random friends, and of course with your best friend of all, TV. Here's what's on tonight.

‘The Terminator’ To Be Archived

Tuesday, December 30 by

 The Associated Press reported today that James Cameron's The Terminator has been selected for entry into the National Film Registry archive preserving it for other generations to see.  The purpose of the registry which was established by Congress in 1989 is to help showcase America's cinema history and heritage.  Some may wonder to the exact reason why The Terminator was selected along with this year's other entries, but I have my own opinion on the matter.  I have a feeling that after the Great Robot War is over future historians will have something to look back on and pinpoint why we allowed our metal masters to take over in the first place.   

Twilight Fan Girls Continue To Baffle

Tuesday, December 30 by

The main response I have heard from people that (waste their lives) read Twilight is that the movie did a really crappy job of adapting the book. I saw the movie and it was really bad. I it's rare that I say a movie is really bad– this is one of the few times.  I also have a few friends at Summit (the company that released the movie) who have mentioned on numerous occasions that Catherine Hardwicke, the recently fired director was totally incompetent and a total bitch. Which is why she was fired. So now the fact that there is fan-girl uproar about a new, more competent director being put in her place confuses me. Actually, the fact that there are Twilight fan girls confuses me. Ok fine, girls confuse me. Here's a video from Reelz that breaks down some of the "controversy" about the forthcoming New Moon

Amid Recession Overseas Movie Sales Going Strong

Tuesday, December 30 by

While most americans are going to be living in the hollowed, rusted shells of their SUV's and eating ketchup soup out of an old boot, the rest of the world is going to be going to the movies. According to Variety Paramount racked up 2 Billion in foreign sales this year, thanks in most part to Indiana Jones and Kung Fu Panda (we're looking at you, China). That's pretty impressive considering we're in a global recession. As more and more countries sprout middle income brackets, foreign sales will continue to increase. And although you can't eat it if you are currently jobless, here is your morning news. 

Still No English Trailer For Street Fighter?

Tuesday, December 30 by

There are two times when it comes in VERY handy that I speak fluent Japanese: ordering sushi and deciphering martial arts movie trailers.  Let me translate this one for you. "A woman who is able to kick really fast and jump off of walls and shit has to TOTALLY beat the crap out of a bunch of dudes…in Japan."  

The Mother of Invention Trailer

Tuesday, December 30 by

A few parts of this trailer made me laugh, so it seems worth posting. Mockumentaries can either buckle under the weight of lackluster acting or be totally brilliant. Nothing will every beat Spinal Tap.Synopsis: A mockumentary about an aspiring inventor who dreams of winning an annual young inventor award. The only problem is… he's never made an invention that works.

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