30 Rock Recap: Generalissimo

Friday, February 6 by

Liz Lemon walks into the studio and a new, handsome intern hands her a report. The intern tells Lemon she rocks, and high-fives his other intern buddies. Jack explains to Lemon that the new interns are former investment bankers. He says they work like hell and don’t have any sort of real world experience. Where can I get a stockbroker intern?Elisa’s (Selma Hayak) grandma is coming to get a tour of the office. For some unknown reason, the grandma doesn’t like Jack. Liz is upset because she is getting someone else’s mail. Jenna looks through the mail and announces that the mail is coming from Liz’s neighbor. And it looks like he is a doctor. Liz wants to meet the doctor after seeing the three Netflix movies he has rented: Muppets, Caddyshack, and a documentary on how to make pie. Jack gives Elisa and her grandmother a tour of the NBC studios. It is obvious the grandmother wants nothing to do with Jack. Both Jack and Elisa are at a loss; they can’t figure out why she doesn’t like Jack. The grandmother stops the tour in order to watch her favorite Mexican television novella – Los Amantes Clandestinos. The show is based around a horrible villain named Generalissimo. As the grandmother turns to Jack to give him a stink-eye, Jack notices that he looks exactly like the Generalissimo. Tracy arrives at work and is cornered by the new interns. They are like star-struck frat boys. They invite him out for drinks after work. He agrees and the interns tell him to get ready to drink a whole ton of beer. Liz goes to her doctor-neighbor’s door to find out if he is ugly or not. After a kooky looking weirdo answers the door, the real Dr. Drew Baird comes through. Drew apologizes for the smell; he has been baking. Liz wants to eat him. Elisa doesn’t want Jack to come to her family events. Jack knows it is because he looks like the Generalissimo and he vows to change that television show to get her grandma to like him.  Liz announces to Jenna that he is in love with Dr. Drew Baird. She stole more of his mail and took a picture of him. Kenneth tells them all to keep quite because Tracy is hung over. Tracy says he spent all night drinking scotch and going to a Ranger’s game. He takes some pills that the new interns gave him to try and ease his headache. The pills are actually roofies. As he passes out he announces that he must keep drinking with the new interns in order to keep up his cool image. Jack calls Elisa and Liz into his office. He bought Los Amantes Clandestinos and plans to kill off the Generalissimo. He wants Liz to write the new episode. Elisa fills Liz in on the horror that is the Generalissimo. Elisa says he has been stealing love letters from a poor Spanish girl and adhering to them in order to trick the girl into liking him. Elisa says stealing letters is the worst thing any human can do, but this gives Liz an idea. Liz knows the doctor likes dogs because of his letters, so Liz goes to the doctor’s house and pretends she has a dog that ran away, enlisting his help. Liz and Dr. Baird are in the streets looking for Liz’s fake dog. Liz wants to give up and go get a drink with the Dr. Baird. He says he can’t because he recently got a divorce.  Tracy begrudgingly takes shots with the new interns. He looks like hell and wants to die, but is not willing to give up his party-boy persona.Jack and Elisa watch Los Amantes Clandestinos. Jack has written the script so the Generalissimo gets shot and killed. But when the scene is supposed to arrive, the Generalissimo avoids the bullet and drinks a potion that he says will cause him to live forever. The generalissimo apparently ignored Jack’s script and is taking control of the show. Jack goes to the set of Los Amantes Clandestinos and talks to the actor who plays the Generalissimo. The actor says he will not be killed off. Jack tries to reason with the actor and tells the actor he is doing all this because of a girl’s grandmother. The actor says he will not die, but he will change his character so that all old Mexican women will love him. Tracy and Kenneth try to come up with a way to get the new interns out of the studio. All this partying is killing Tracy.Liz tries to trick the doctor again. She says she is having a party to introduce him to the building, but when he shows up to her door it will be just the two of them. The doctor comes over and is confused why no one else is at Liz’s house, but agrees to one glass of wine. However, right as her plan is about to take hold, the crazy man who lives with the doctor brings a dog to the door. The dog looks exactly like Liz’s fake dog that she lost. Liz has to pretend it is her dog. A hilarious montage ensues where the Generalissimo seduces grandmothers with cheap coffee and lottery tickets, and Liz seduces the doctor. The doctor and Liz are about to kiss but Liz’s fake dog is barking and ruins the moment. She puts the dog in the other room as the doctor takes two of Tracy’s roofies, thinking they were aspirin. Liz comes back into the room and the Dr. falls, knocking over Liz’s purse. All of his mail falls out and he realizes that Liz has been stalking him.

Driving Mr. Scott

Thursday, February 5 by

Pam is driving Michael on a roadtrip around to all the Dunder-Mifflin branches so that Michael can give presentations on how to make other branches as successful as his, and they run into an old friend at Utaca.  Dwight and Jim also have to deal with an emotionally distraught Kelly, who’s pissed at the entire office for having forgot her birthday. And Andy fixes his eye on a young, hot client of Stanley’s.

Thursday TV Preview

Thursday, February 5 by

Finally Michael, Liz, Jim, Creed, Tracy, Pam, Dwight, Kenneth, Jenna, Ryan Kevin, Andy, Darryl, Cerie and Salma Hayek are all swinging back to making us LOAO in their regualr slots with new episodes. Hold on to your butts, Thursday's TV preview right after the jump, giggles.

Locke the Leader, Ben the Deceiver

Thursday, February 5 by

Kate’s still trying to avoid having to go through the blood test, Ben, Sayid, and Jack have to get Sun and Hurley before it’s too late, and back on the island, more people start to get nosebleeds as their jumps through time become more frequent, putting some of them back in strangely familiar surroundings. Check it out after the jump.

Demetri Martin Has A Show

Thursday, February 5 by

I first saw Demetri at the UCB Theatre in New York in 2004. I still think of it as one of the most original and hilarious live shows I have ever seen in my entire life. He has stayed relatively obscure and relegated to the favorite lists of comedy dorks and industry types.  He had a stint on The Daily Show where he covered trends, like Myspace and Drinking wine, offering such suggestions as "If you are going to eat red meat, drink red wine. If you are going to eat fish, drink white wine. And if you are a vegan, you are annoying." It's the subtle play on words and Mitch Hedburg style of irony that makes him so good at what he does. But in a world where Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia are some of the most popular comics, will Demetri ever have mass appeal? Decide for yourself, Wed Feb 11th at 1030. A few more videos after the jump.

Wednesday Hump Night TV

Wednesday, February 4 by

'Hump' like middle of the week. Listen, we keep it clean around here. Tonight's TV has the Lost Island going through more crazy TimeWarps, and the team at Lie to Me investigate a young schoolgirl who was murdered. Get the line up here.

SCREAM OFF: Bill O’ Vs. Bale

Wednesday, February 4 by

Like I said before— I don’t really care that Bale screamed at a DP. That kind of thing happens constantly in Hollywood. In fact, if you do the stats a DP gets screamed at every 4.7 seconds. What I do care about are the awesome ways that people use what others consider newsworthy to make HI-LARIOUS things. This one is my favorite one yet.  Here are a few more to look at:Fake Warner Guy: Bale Is A Tornado Of PAIN (Filmdrunk)Bale Writes An Op-Ed. For Holytaco. (Holytaco)RU Professional REMIX (Youtube)WHAT DONT YOU UNDERSTAND!? (Pajiba) 


Wednesday, February 4 by

Review By: Harvey Bodwin, 8th Grade.Outlander is the BEST movie where Vikings are fighting aliens which I have ever seen in all of my whole entire life! It is cool because I like both 1) Vikings and 2) I like aliens. So if you also like Vikings and aliens then you HAVE to see this movie. It is so cool!

Scrubs Recap: My Lawyer’s In Love

Wednesday, February 4 by

Dr. Cox is overwhelmed by his new role as Chief of Medicine and burns himself out trying to "do it all".  Ted falls in love and brings a whole new meaning to the term 'awkward'.  J.D. and Janitor call a truce (and call it off several times) in an attempt to bring Ted's love to fruition. No, No, No!

Scrubs Recap: My New Role

Wednesday, February 4 by

Outside the walls of Sacred Heart Bob Kelso and Perry Cox secretly share a beer while the old Chief of Medicine gives friendly advice to the new one.  Inside the hospital, Dr. Cox learns what it means to be the new boss and burns a few bridges in the process. If You Can Believe It…

FRINGE RECAP: Bishop’s Shop of Horrors

Wednesday, February 4 by

I have been watching Fringe for a while. I know that something tragic will happen in the first two minutes of the show and I prepare myself for it, but honestly this is sick. Seeing a grown man turn into a monster sized porcupine makes me think that the world is running out of ideas. It also makes you think how far television has come. This makes "The Fly" look like cute. But before I get ahead of myself, lets start at the beginning, directly after the jump.

Tuesday Night Preview

Tuesday, February 3 by

Roddy has stunk up the great state of Illinois, the American political system, and now he has the nerve to stink up TV by trying to regain any last shreds of dignity on shows like The View and Larry King Live. Tonight, he visits Letterman, who has bashed him consistently since being arrested 2 months ago. 1 hour of Scrubs and a new airborne virally infected Fringe preserve TV's good name. Enjoy. Ps, Blagojevich.

Star Trek Super Bowl Spot

Tuesday, February 3 by

The last trailer for the new Star Trek made it look like The OC…IN SPACE! The Super Bowl spot has convinced a lot of people that it could quite possibly be much, much more. Like maybe even Dawson's Creek…IN SPACE!Title: Star Trek : Super Bowl SpotDirector: J.J. Abrams Cast: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Eric Bana, Simon Pegg, John Cho Synopsis: A chronicle of the early days of James T. Kirk and his fellow USS Enterprise crew members. Genre: Sci-Fi & Fantasy Release Date: May 8, 2009 


Tuesday, February 3 by

The big news today is obviously Christian Bale blowing out his o-ring on the set of Terminator. I get it, the dude was acting, someone screwed up, got his eye-line. People yell in Hollywood EVERY day. In fact, people yell in every industry every day. The ones with the power usually do the yelling. Why? Because they can. Plus, Christian Bale is a Mom-Beater. Here are your links, screamy. Christian Bale Screamgate…REMIXED (Filmdrunk)This Whole Arizona Porn Clip Thing Ain't Nothin New (Sound&Vision)Terminator 4 Concept Art Looks Transformery (Unreality)Yes, Even The Most Successfull Olympians Take The Pot (Pajiba)

Heroes on the Run

Tuesday, February 3 by

Two months after the events of “Villains,” Heroes is back with some serious bang.  Forget last season.  As all the TV spots proudly proclaim, this is a fresh start, and it’s a welcome one.  Nathan is setting his plan into motion to round up the heroes.  Peter’s working as a paramedic, still saving lives, Claire decides to leave her mother to go do something about what’s happening, Noah and Angela are still working together, Hiro sets up a headquarters for his and Ando’s superhero work, Sylar’s on the hunt for his dad, Mohinder’s a plain old taxi cab driver, and Parkman and Daphne are living together in an apartment when Parkman gets a visit from an old African friend.  It’s all in a supercharged Heroes, after the jump.