News - Page 81

My two least favorite habits - smoking and swimming in your f*cking clothes.
Aaron Sorkin Is ‘Strongly Considering’ Steve Jobs Biopic, Since He Loves Depicting Cold Tech Giants
Wednesday, November 23 by

Sources close to him indicate that Jobs did both walk and talk, so Aaron Sorkin seems like a natural fit.

This is how bored Joe Strummer was by the news of his biopic. And he's been dead for nine years.
It’s The Clash Frontman Joe Strummer’s Turn For A Biopic Now, Courtesy Of…Julie Delpy?
Wednesday, November 23 by

Biopics are the new tombstones.

Back in his prime, even Eddie Murphy's haircut was funny.
John Landis Doesn’t Know If Eddie Murphy Wants To Be Funny Anymore
Tuesday, November 22 by

If Eddie doesn’t want to be funny, that would explain a lot of his films.

These men should be reprimanded for expressing an opinion on television. Not cool, guys.
The Roots Welcome Michelle Bachmann To ‘Fallon’ By Playing ‘Lyin’ Ass Bitch’
Tuesday, November 22 by

This is easily the worst thing to happen to America in the past ten minutes or so.

Sad nudity is still nudity, I guess.
Keira Knightley’s Nude Scenes In ‘A Dangerous Method’ Look Depressing
Tuesday, November 22 by

Sad nudity is still nudity, I guess.

Bane-inspired fashions will be all the rage next fall.
Christopher Nolan Has Some Things To Reveal About ‘The Dark Knight Rises’
Tuesday, November 22 by

It apparently takes eight years for the Dark Knight to rise. In the interim, he was catching up on ‘Mad Men’ and watching the food network while doing CrossFit.

The most badass gunslinger of the wild west and that's what they put on his gravestone? Mine will say, "From Time to Time, He Enjoyed a Good Fudgesicle."
HBO Getting Back Into Westerns With Doc Holiday Series
Tuesday, November 22 by

I smell an Al Swearengen crossover opportunity. Wait. No. I’m smelling lavender. Close.

It was only a matter of time before NBC resorted to fisting.
NBC Thinks A Puppet-Based Sitcom Is Something You’ll Watch
Monday, November 21 by

It was only a matter of time before they resorted to fisting.

This is how you'll feel when you listen to the commentary.
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Movie Commentary Is Way More Entertaining Than His Movies
Monday, November 21 by

He explains ‘Total Recall’ for you, in case you have trouble following Arnold Schwarzenegger films.

Fun fact: Francis Ford Coppola was once 78% beard.
Francis Ford Coppola On ‘The Godfather Part II’: “There Shoulda Only Been One”
Monday, November 21 by

Was he drunk? He must have been drunk.

Somewhere, somebody is getting this tattooed on them.
‘The Expendables 2′ Poster Features All Your Favorite Tough Old Guys
Monday, November 21 by

That’s a lot of old man strength.

got-season2
HBO Reminds Us That ‘Game Of Thrones’ Season Two Will Rule
Monday, November 21 by

So many new characters. I’m already dizzy.

I've made a huge mistake...by signing up for Hulu Plus.
Want More ‘Arrested Development’? You Better Get Netflix
Friday, November 18 by

It’s time to take back all those bad things you said about Netflix.

The seventh season will be documentary-style footage of him playing with action figures.
Beware, Evildoers: ‘Dexter’ Renewed For Two More Seasons
Friday, November 18 by

By the time we reach season eight, it will just be Dexter sitting in a room having a dinner party with six ghosts.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is my 'Twilight'.
‘Rampage’ Video Game To Become A Real Thinkpiece Film
Friday, November 18 by

They get their strength from eating people. Just like I do.

Who wouldn't want to watch this?
Fox Swats Down David Cronenberg’s ‘The Fly’ Sequel
Friday, November 18 by

Who wouldn’t want to watch this?

She's hired.
Yvonne Strahovski Seductively Crawls Toward ‘I, Frankenstein’
Friday, November 18 by

If she’ll sleep with Chuck, she’ll sleep with Frankenstein’s monster.

I felt sorry for them until I saw that he got married in that hat.
Ashton Kutcher And Demi Moore To Div…ZZZZZZ
Thursday, November 17 by

Ashton will retain sole custody of his spotty facial hair.

Oh, man! They're gonna remake 'The Munsters'? This is gonna be so classic!!!!
NBC Now Thinks People Will Like ‘The Munsters’ More Than ‘Community’
Thursday, November 17 by

They’re hoping it lasts at least as long as the ‘Charlie’s Angels’ remake does.

Get ready to hate and resent him.
‘Despicable Me’ Animators Chipping Away At ‘Woody Woodpecker’
Thursday, November 17 by

Sell out.

This year, Gervais will tell his meanest jokes via a Beaver puppet.
They Like A Little Abuse: Ricky Gervais Back To Host Golden Globes
Thursday, November 17 by

Gervais breaks his two seasons is enough rule.

Rob Schneider has plenty of booze back at his place if you girls wanna join him.
Rob Schneider To Address Exclamation Point-Inversion Epidemic With ‘┬íRob!’
Wednesday, November 16 by

Let this be the news that signified Rob Schneider’s career had superseded Adam Sandler’s, never to be overtaken again.

To Troll A Predator
The Best Of ‘To Troll A Predator’ (By ‘Best’ I Mean All The Vids I Could Find)
Wednesday, November 16 by

This is how they do justice in Canada.

Ironically, I bet these superhero kids probably really turn pedophiles on.
Fake Canadian Superheroes Targeting Pedophiles Via YouTube (No, Really)
Wednesday, November 16 by

This is just really awesome. The costumes, the deception…everything.

"C'mon, Eileen. WHOOOAAA. You know what I mean..."
‘Game of Thrones’ Season Two Crowns Its Lord Of Bones
Wednesday, November 16 by

He sounds far too scary to make wiener jokes about.

It won't be on during the day, because that's when Americans should be working. With their jobs.
5 Possible Premises For Glenn Beck’s New Animated Series
Tuesday, November 15 by

No one makes me laugh like Glenn Beck does.

Who would have thought this ham-fisted toddler comedy would have ever played outside the Borscht Belt? Not me.
Armond White Thought ‘Jack And Jill’ Was Just Great, Thank You
Tuesday, November 15 by

He also thought the war in Iraq was our nation’s finest hour and P.F. Chang’s has pretty authentic Chinese food.

Umm... behind you, bro.
‘The Walking Dead’s’ Jon Bernthal Agrees To ‘Snitch’
Tuesday, November 15 by

Walking dead men tell no tales.

Black magic.
What Is A ‘Magical Negro’ And Why Are They In So Many Films?
Tuesday, November 15 by

If these guys were actually around, maybe I wouldn’t keep screwing up my life.

Not dead yet.
Don’t Panic: ‘Community’ Is Not Dead… Yet
Monday, November 14 by

The show will not be returning in January… at least not right away.