News - Page 73

Sorry they annoyed you with their friendship, NBC.
‘The Office’ Is Done After Next Year, Which May Surprise People Who Thought It Was Already Cancelled
Tuesday, August 21 by

I hope Jim and Pam both lose their legs in separate car accidents and have to become “skateboard people.”

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‘Ghostbusters’ Theme Sung By Machines
Tuesday, August 21 by

The machines have risen. And they’re total nerds.

Would the owner of the Pontiac Vibe please move their car from Mr. West's reserved parking spot?
Kanye West To Possibly Bring His Brand Of Crazy To ‘American Idol’
Tuesday, August 21 by

I guess reanimating Michael Jackson’s corpse a la ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ wasn’t so viable after all.

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Warner Bros. Tells Ron Howard’s ‘Dark Tower’ To Eat A D*ck
Tuesday, August 21 by

No sale, Opie.

This type of flaming bullshit doesn't fly in Kiev.
Ukraine Sick Of Spongebob Squarepants Being So Gay, Seeks To Ban Him
Tuesday, August 21 by

These pineapples under the sea are quickly turning into Fire Island

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‘Walking Dead’ To Campaign Against Dish Network At Political Conventions
Tuesday, August 21 by

Cute. In a flesh-rotting, repulsive way.

John Goodman in what I can only presume is some sort of movie role.
John Goodman Might Join ‘The Hangover III’ *Crickets, Wolf Howl, Tumbleweed Rolling By*
Monday, August 20 by

Oh, man. This is gonna be so…mediocre.

R.I.P.
I Know You’re Bummed About Tony Scott, But Phyllis Diller Died, Too
Monday, August 20 by

R.I.P.

"Robert Langdon Tom Hanks" is one of my top 12 favorite Tom Hanks looks.
Tom Hanks Thinks The Kennedy Assassination Is The New World War II
Monday, August 20 by

“…back and to the left. Back…and to the left.”

Official auditon photo.
Shia LaBeouf To Have Real Sex With An Actual Girl In Von Trier’s ‘Nymphomaniac’
Friday, August 17 by

Classic Von Trier.

SIMILAR NAME ALERT!
Police Looking To Arrest Walter White For Cooking Lots Of Meth
Friday, August 17 by

Yes, we know the difference between fiction and reality.

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The Bodies Pile Up In ‘Dexter’ Season 7 Trailer
Thursday, August 16 by

Featuring the Deftones.

Smile, John Slattery. You're awesome.
John Slattery To Appear On ‘Arrested Development’ In Awesome Display Of Synergy
Thursday, August 16 by

He probably seduced Lucille Bluth back in the 60′s.

He's waving "hello." He's waving hello.
The Alternate Ending To Last Week’s ‘Breaking Bad’
Thursday, August 16 by

I like how this purports to be the director’s cut. This entire series is one big “director’s cut.”

Heyyyyyyy girrrrrrrllllllll.
Lucy Lawless To Play A Swanson Love Interest On ‘Parks And Recreation’
Thursday, August 16 by

I hope he doesn’t get his mustache rubbed off again.

Screen shot 2012-08-15 at 4.16.47 PM
Shia LaBeouf Giving Up Blockbusters, After Making Like 20 Of Them
Wednesday, August 15 by

“I’m done,” says the guy who has the luxury of saying that because the thing he’s done with has made him very rich.

Sweathog reunion in heaven.
Horshack From ‘Welcome Back, Kotter’ Died
Wednesday, August 15 by

Up your nose with a rubber hose…in heaven.

A photo of rap mogul Jay-Z before undergoing his pre-concert blackening.
Ron Howard, The Blackest Director We Know, Naturally Directing Jay-Z Documentary
Wednesday, August 15 by

Ya got a little dirt on your shoulder there, Opie.

I hope the person left standing gets clocked in the face with a folding chair. I would watch that.
Extreme Musical Chairs Premieres Tonight With The CW’s ‘Oh Sit!’
Wednesday, August 15 by

“‘Oh Sit!’? More like…’Oh F*ck!’”

Nell will straight up fucking murder you if you don't make that vig payment.
Jodie Foster Directing A Sort-Of Female ‘Sopranos’
Tuesday, August 14 by

“Quit bustin’ my labia.”

I would cite this photo in my "We're used to touching heads, and I just got carried away" defense.
Chad ‘Ochocinco’ Johnson Head-Butts His Wife, Loses His VH1 Reality Show
Tuesday, August 14 by

He should change his name to “Chad Head-o Butt-o.”

Weird that he has a really hot girlfriend. That really could have gone either way.
Aaron Paul To Sign On For ‘Long Way Down’, Reminding Us ‘Breaking Bad’ Won’t Last Forever
Tuesday, August 14 by

Is it too early to clamor for a Cranston-Paul reunion? And bring the guy who plays Badger, too.

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Keanu Reeves Proves ‘Bill & Ted 3′ Will Have A Plot
Monday, August 13 by

This sequel > Ghostbusters sequel.

Chubby Michael Phelps.
‘Parks And Recreation’ Gets You Excited With Some Olympics-Themed Promos
Monday, August 13 by

Yes, I know the Olympics are over, but it’s ‘Parks and Rec’, so we cut them some slack.

They're already pretty much there anyway.
CNN Might Feature Some Non-News Shows To Boost Its Lousy News-y Ratings
Monday, August 13 by

I don’t watch news, and I don’t watch reality TV, so whatever CNN does here won’t get me to watch.

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Nicolas Cage And Other Old Men Pursued For ‘Expendables 3′
Monday, August 13 by

Wilford Brimley gets snubbed.

BRICK AND RON.
Ferrell And Carell To Star In ‘Swear To God’, Written By Justin Theroux
Monday, August 13 by

Together, they form a triumvirate of laughter.

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Meet The Bad Girls Of ‘Lawless’
Monday, August 13 by

‘Lawless’ is in theaters August 29th.

This is the collective expression America made at the suspension of prisoners' civil liberties.
Guantanamo Bay Detainees Are Enjoying ‘Fresh Prince’ In Jail, And Who Can Blame Them?
Friday, August 10 by

The judge decided to suspend habeas corpus and yelled, “Yo homes, smell ya later!”

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First Look At Russell Crowe In Aronofsky’s ‘Noah’: Is He Bible-y Enough?
Friday, August 10 by

Radical departure from the groundwork set by ‘Evan Almighty’.