News - Page 66

Heyyyyyyy girrrrrrrllllllll.
Lucy Lawless To Play A Swanson Love Interest On ‘Parks And Recreation’
Thursday, August 16 by

I hope he doesn’t get his mustache rubbed off again.

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Shia LaBeouf Giving Up Blockbusters, After Making Like 20 Of Them
Wednesday, August 15 by

“I’m done,” says the guy who has the luxury of saying that because the thing he’s done with has made him very rich.

Sweathog reunion in heaven.
Horshack From ‘Welcome Back, Kotter’ Died
Wednesday, August 15 by

Up your nose with a rubber hose…in heaven.

A photo of rap mogul Jay-Z before undergoing his pre-concert blackening.
Ron Howard, The Blackest Director We Know, Naturally Directing Jay-Z Documentary
Wednesday, August 15 by

Ya got a little dirt on your shoulder there, Opie.

I hope the person left standing gets clocked in the face with a folding chair. I would watch that.
Extreme Musical Chairs Premieres Tonight With The CW’s ‘Oh Sit!’
Wednesday, August 15 by

“‘Oh Sit!’? More like…’Oh F*ck!’”

Nell will straight up fucking murder you if you don't make that vig payment.
Jodie Foster Directing A Sort-Of Female ‘Sopranos’
Tuesday, August 14 by

“Quit bustin’ my labia.”

I would cite this photo in my "We're used to touching heads, and I just got carried away" defense.
Chad ‘Ochocinco’ Johnson Head-Butts His Wife, Loses His VH1 Reality Show
Tuesday, August 14 by

He should change his name to “Chad Head-o Butt-o.”

Weird that he has a really hot girlfriend. That really could have gone either way.
Aaron Paul To Sign On For ‘Long Way Down’, Reminding Us ‘Breaking Bad’ Won’t Last Forever
Tuesday, August 14 by

Is it too early to clamor for a Cranston-Paul reunion? And bring the guy who plays Badger, too.

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Keanu Reeves Proves ‘Bill & Ted 3′ Will Have A Plot
Monday, August 13 by

This sequel > Ghostbusters sequel.

Chubby Michael Phelps.
‘Parks And Recreation’ Gets You Excited With Some Olympics-Themed Promos
Monday, August 13 by

Yes, I know the Olympics are over, but it’s ‘Parks and Rec’, so we cut them some slack.

They're already pretty much there anyway.
CNN Might Feature Some Non-News Shows To Boost Its Lousy News-y Ratings
Monday, August 13 by

I don’t watch news, and I don’t watch reality TV, so whatever CNN does here won’t get me to watch.

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Nicolas Cage And Other Old Men Pursued For ‘Expendables 3′
Monday, August 13 by

Wilford Brimley gets snubbed.

BRICK AND RON.
Ferrell And Carell To Star In ‘Swear To God’, Written By Justin Theroux
Monday, August 13 by

Together, they form a triumvirate of laughter.

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Meet The Bad Girls Of ‘Lawless’
Monday, August 13 by

‘Lawless’ is in theaters August 29th.

This is the collective expression America made at the suspension of prisoners' civil liberties.
Guantanamo Bay Detainees Are Enjoying ‘Fresh Prince’ In Jail, And Who Can Blame Them?
Friday, August 10 by

The judge decided to suspend habeas corpus and yelled, “Yo homes, smell ya later!”

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First Look At Russell Crowe In Aronofsky’s ‘Noah’: Is He Bible-y Enough?
Friday, August 10 by

Radical departure from the groundwork set by ‘Evan Almighty’.

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Van Damme Owes A Lot To His Big Legs And Karate
Friday, August 10 by

He really makes it look easy.

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Mulder And Scully Are Boinking Now
Thursday, August 9 by

In all fairness, they could be under mind control.

Someone just dumped a tall glass of handsome on this man. Get a towel.
Ben Affleck Is Offered ‘Justice League’ DC’s Slower, Smellier Brother To Marvel’s ‘The Avengers’
Thursday, August 9 by

Does this create a conflict of interest that will keep him from reprising Daredevil? We hope so.

Possessed by Loki? Seriously??
Jeremy Renner Thought Hawkeye Kinda Sucked Too
Thursday, August 9 by

Don’t shoot the messenger.

That's our ALF!!!! *collapses into ball, cries*
THE ALF CGI FILM IS A GO! NO TIME TO TALK! JUST READ!
Thursday, August 9 by

Remember ALF? He’s back! In crappy TV adaptation form!

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‘Star Trek: TNG’ Cast Sings ‘Call Me, Maybe’ Because Reasons
Wednesday, August 8 by

Sing it, Data!

Not this 'Hobbit', but you get the idea.
Very Few People Will Actually Get To See ‘The Hobbit’s Revolutionary 3D Presentation
Wednesday, August 8 by

It’s too bad, because I was already starting eye exercises to prepare for the adjustment.

Let's hope he doesn't own that tux outright.
Jimmy Fallon Will Not Giggle His Way Through The Oscars
Wednesday, August 8 by

ABC is standing by their own Jimmy.

Stark Industries Powers into a New Corporate Strategy White Pape
Joss Whedon Wearing ‘The Avengers 2′ Daddy Pants
Wednesday, August 8 by

Put on the suit!

Hurry up, please, gang.
‘Arrested Development’ Has Started Filming New Episodes
Tuesday, August 7 by

Here’s where I would put an apt quote, but instead I’m gonna use Zuckercorn’s “Those? Those are balls!”

If I wanted to see a bunch of weed on an island, I'd start back up dealing drugs at Hilton Head, thanks very much.
Today In Timely News: Fox To Turn ‘The Beach’ Into A Series
Tuesday, August 7 by

How weird would it be if Leo DiCaprio reprised his role?

All of these people overpaid for a bad movie and their dumb little glasses.
Movie Tickets More Expensive Than Ever, While Movie Quality Hits All-Time Low
Tuesday, August 7 by

“Four for ‘Hotel for Dogs 2: Concierge’s Revenge’, please.”

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What Is Superman Feeding That Dog?
Monday, August 6 by

I’m impressed.

I imagine that Phillip Seymour Hoffman could play over 90% of these characters.
Hey Nerds, That ‘World Of Warcraft’ Movie Is Still In The Works
Friday, August 3 by

Leeroy Jenkins.