“Attempted molestation?!?!? Psssh. What is that? Either I molested her or I didn’t!”
Eh, it really could have gone either way.
“Men” because it’s plural.
She’s still Jenny from Santiago, Chile.
Apparently our hearts are worth about $125 million over a four-day period.
Jackie Chan is pleased about this Jackie-Chan-related news.
I’m still fuming about what that motorcycle man did to her.
Not going to tell you what it is here, though.
These things are hilarious.
For that much, it should come with an armless, mouthless zombie on a chain.
Shouldn’t it technically be ‘Hello, Ghost’?
And it’s not even out yet.
They ball will no longer seem like it’s coming right at you.
Surely this couldn’t be the one thing he’s bad at.
They’ll have to cram in some storyline about it being fashionable for cyborgs to get plastic surgery later in their life.
I hope it goes better than the Spider-man musical.
The women from ‘Sex and the City’ were basically like 45 year-old toddlers.
This headline is like Pavlov’s bell to Vin Diesel and/or Paul Walker.
The hipster lifestyle is like the fountain of youth for comedy writers.
Because there are people in the ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ target market that just can’t read.
Two people is hardly a “posse.”
Please inform neighbors and loved ones.
It’s the role every girl at Julliard dreams about.
Earth gets to’ up!
It’s not really the end if you just decide to hit “continue” and keep playing.
Stars, they’re just like us.
Sometimes life isn’t fair.