News - Page 43

Somehow, Snooki seems rounder than a meatball.

You’ll probably spend the next 15 minutes watching Michael Winslow videos on YouTube.

She’s a bonafide star.

Those people will tear Bruce Wayne apart.

Will Jason Statham help the franchise garner critical success to match its commercial success? Nope.

He doesn’t say it outright, but I get the feeling he’s not a fan of the films due to their overall shittiness.

Now gay teens will get bullied for being nerds.

Leonard Nimoy: a.k.a. The “Straight” Spock…

If he hadn’t worn such vibrant shirts, he wouldn’t have noticed at all.

Still not sure what they’re avenging, though.

Hope he can get the hang of those whip-pans.

I’m hoping they re-imagine the volleyball scene by making it less gay. Or more gay. Either way is great with me.

It’s nice to watch other couples go through the same things we do, like fights with Josh Duhamel and difficulty getting Sarah Jessica Parker pregnant.

Perhaps there is a wacky neighbor role for Korn’s Jonathan Davis.

This controversy could cause her to lose her title of “The Next Karate Kid.”

‘Drive’ is making people do crazy things.

If some dude’s gonna get over a century of jail time, I want Olivia Wilde or higher.

It’s going to be like one of those series where the kids never leave high school, only the kids are bootleggers and the high school is prohibition.

He’s no match for Bond’s gadgets.

He’s just trying to get closer to Emma Stone.

Now all the zombie will be limping and dragging their feet as they walk. Who’s going to believe that?

It’s unknown whether a shoe was used.

If someone offered me a wager on whether or not this iteration will contain more or less sass, I would put my money on “more.”

But would they make good mothers? Just kidding. I don’t care.

Load up the choppers like it’s the 731st.

Apparently, most sitcom characters don’t drink out of boredom the same way my friends and I do.

Gotti deserves better than this. Oh wait, no he doesn’t.

Soon all movies will be sued for not being enough like ‘The Fast and the Furious’.

Good news: one site for all services. Bad news: rate hike stays and your streaming selections are still pretty awful. Sooooo…have a nice day?

NEWS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE!