Lauren Conrad will be on the next episode of "Family Guy" and she looks hot – much hotter than real life. This takes air brushing to a whole new level. Speaking of hot, the teaser on YouTube is white hot and funny as "hill." See how I did that? I replaced the word "hell" with "hill." Ya know, cuz it's witty and stuff. This spoof contains one of the best sight gags for Quagmire I've ever seen. I'll give you a hint. Finish the sentence, "As long as I have a face…" There's dog poop sex talk and a love triangle straight out of "The Hills…of Kentucky." See? I did it again! Rightin's easy. Of course all of this does beg the question, "Which show is the real cartoon?" Check it out here…
Metallica may have slowed down after their outright domination of 80's metal, but Lars Ulrich still pounds the skins with authority, Kirk Hammett still shreds, and James Hetfield growls and spits like a bulldog. You'll know what I mean when you watch Timewarp tonight, which has the whole band in super slo mo, so you can finally learn that 'Ride the Lightning' solo. Also, Lost is only 4 episodes away from leaving your fragile little lives. Your preview after the break.
The audience is packed tight in the four-hundred-person comedy theater on Melrose Boulevard. Before the lights go down, drinks are clinking, and overworked waitstaff are scrambling to get plates of fried chicken fingers to their tables. One man sitting near the stage says, to no one in particular, that tonight "better be f*%$@#g funny." His girlfriend asks him to check the score on the Lakers game. It's Mo Betta' Mondays at the Hollywood Improv, a night usually sold-out, but especially packed this evening for the DVD release party of Lionsgate's Frankenhood. The cast will be performing stand-up comedy sets, and the audience wants to get to it. If you haven't yet heard of Frankenhood, think Half Baked meets Weekend At Bernie's; a stoner romp from the perspective of a few ambitious losers who end up resurrecting a Shaq-esque corpse with a car battery to play on their three man basketball team.
Our next comic needs no introduction but we’ll give him one all the same… back from his debut review of ‘Obsessed w/ Beyoncé and That White Bitch.’ Laaaadies and Geeeeentlemeeeeen! Mr.! Tacoooo! Perkiiiiins! [Uninspired applause]
If you didn't know, it's the 25th anniversary of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. You can send all of your gifts made of silver to Mirage Studios. Might I suggest this lovely pendant?Now of course, the big announcement this past week was the new live action feature film. But you don't have to wait for 2011 to get your dose of Turtle Power. On May 12, Lionsgate is releasing Season 7 of the original TMNT animated series. Season 7 includes classic episodes like, "Rust Never Sleeps," where the Turtles save the Eiffel Tower, and "Elementary, My Dear Turtles," an offbeat team-up with Sherlock Holmes in London. It's like a virtual European Turtle Travelogue. In "shell-ebration" (yes, that's trademarked) of the DVD release, the official site has posted a TMNT sound board widget…
Indy Mogul posted their new episode of 'Hollywood FX,' which takes us behind the scenes of a company called Amalgamated Dynamics. A.D.I. is a company formed by a some of Stan Winston's protegés, and they were kind enough to allow Hollywood FX a pretty damn in-depth exposé. And with that last sentence, this may be the most amount of co-opted French words with accents I've ever posted. Check out the clip after the jump which includes, as the post's title touts, glimpses at creature FX from Wolverine, Aliens… and a mind-blowing animatronic Gorilla head that will blow your mind all over your face. Bring handy-wipes for your computer monitor.
Some new behind-the-scenes footage from The Expendables popped up on the film's official production blog. It gives us a cool glimpse at Sylvester Stallone as a director. Marvel as he waves a gun around during a scene's rehearsal, while key crew members cringe for fear of having their heads blown off by a (presumably) prop gun. There's some 1st A.D. looking fellow who literally drops to the floor at one point. This reminds me of that great story about Kubrick randomly shooting off a shotgun during the filming of The Shining to keep Shelley Duvall on edge so that it bled into her performance. That's an epic win for Kubrick. But that sort of thing is probably frowned upon by SAG these days. Way to go, unionized labor. *sarcastic celebratory firing of shotgun into the air* Watch the video, which also includes a nice moment in which Stallone refers to an airplane as "sex" incarnate, after the jump.
Thanks to twitter, we now get more updates about cinematic arcana faster than we could ever dare to dream. Danny from Totally Rad Show brought this video to the Twittersphere's attention moments earlier. It is a REAL trailer for a REAL movie from 2003 called Tiptoes, starring Matthew McConaughey, Kate Beckinsale and… well… originally when I started watching this trailer, I got about ten seconds through and, in complete jest, shot back a tweet to @DannyTRS saying 'Gary Oldman plays a convincing dwarf.' But then I kept watching the trailer and here's the thing: IT IS GARY F**KING OLDMAN AS A DWARF. The real Gary Oldman. Commissioner Gordon. Dracula. Sid Vicious. Sirius Black. That Gary Oldman. I don't know how they did the effects, but holy crap. Just watch this trailer after the jump. It'll warm your heart, but then blow your mind. Also, it starts out with a scene in which Kate Beckinsale offers to blow Matthew McConaughey, followed by some awesome rock music kicking in to intro the rest of the trailer.
What Goes Up (formerly Safety Glass), starring Hilary Duff, Olivia Thirlby, Josh Peck (the very under-watched The Wackness), Steve Coogan and Molly Shannon… has a new trailer out today. Aside from the grating voiceover that makes it sound like a straight to DVD Disney flick, I'm intrigued, thanks largely in part to the solid cast, and the weird looking girls who tell Steve Coogan that they go to class in a shed. WHAT GOES UP opens on Friday, May 29. Watch the trailer after the jump.
When I'm not writing on ScreenJunkies, I write scripts, which means I write scripts about never. But when I used to have time to write scripts, I became avid reader of successful scribe John August's Blog. If you don't know John August, he's the dude who wrote Go, Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, Big Fish, Corpse Bride, the Frankenweenie feature, and others. I think my favorite thing he's ever written, though, is his blog. Sort of like how my favorite thing that Stephen King's ever written is his non-fiction On Writing, an exposé into the inner workings of King, the writer. Anyway, John August has really made his blog into a database of invaluable knowledge for aspiring screenwriters, and he's now started toadd what he's calling a "scriptcast," which is basically an instructional video installment. His most recent example is called "Entering a Scene," and teaches you how to make a character's entrance more engaging. More specifically, he chooses to describe a character as having a bolo tie and a walrus-like mustache." A little research will probably uncover that John August and Wilford Brimley share the same agent. Watch and learn some screenwriting after the jump, if you ever want to work in this town again.
In a breaking Variety story, 20th Century Fox has brought Oliver Stone back to direct the sequel to his 1987 Wall Street. Also, there are strong rumors that one Shia LaBeouf is also involved. Variety says: "LaBeouf is negotiating to join Michael Douglas, who won an Oscar for his portrayal of Gordon Gekko in the original pic. The sequel will once again involve a young Wall Street trader, and the recent economic meltdown spurred by rampant greed and corruption will fit prominently into the plot." All the way back in October, Wall Street Fighter actually called LaBoeuf out as the potential neo-Sheen (that sounds like a leather upholstery cleaner, doesn't it?). Head on over there for more about that spot on prediction, and some other rumors about the film, pre-Stone. And if you're feeling greedy today, check out the infamous clip of one Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) preaching the me-first mantra that got us into this economic clusterf**k in the first place. Yes, I blame the shitty economy on one Michael Douglas.
Well, we only have a little over a week before JJ Abrams' Star Trek beams into theaters. The reviews have started rolling in already and critics have cuddled up to the movie like a herd of Tribbles that just don't wanna let go. But for those of us who haven't seen it yet, the film's marketers are still keeping us alive with drops from the Trek I.V. Here's a dose, courtesy of the good nurses at IGN:Our focus will be on the following clip, in which Kirk teaches us all how to pick up space chicks, all while having an ugly bar patron acting as uncomfortable intermediary. We've seen the tail end of it in another clip that's been floating around since early April, but this tells you how Kirk even got to rub shoulders with Uhura. Watch and learn, ensigns.
This morning, Summit released the new official one-sheet for its upcoming military drama with explosions, The Hurt Locker. If you haven't seen the trailer, we suggest watching it here. If you have seen the trailer, check out the still images below. There's some new stuff, including a look at actor Guy Pearce, who didn't get much screen time in the trailer.
Content Removed By Request.
Perez Hilton's blog posted this photo of Lana (née Larry) Wachowski, of The Matrix and Speed Racer Wachowskis, leaving Los Angeles International airport recently. It's kinda nuts just how NOT horribly wrong Larry/Lana's surgery actually has turned out. He just looks like… well… if the Wachowskis had a sister. Which Andy has now.It's a lot more convincing than the time Sylvester Stallone became Sylvia Stallone.
Gear up in your yellow tights and grab your utility belt, the Heroes season 3 finale is tonight, and why not invite some of your comic book crazy friends over to send off the show in style? Also, tonight is notable for a Jack Bauer interrogation with a post heart attack, bed ridden Jonas Hodges (Jon Voight), the evil CEO of StarkWood Corp. Sure hope Bauer doesn't seizure up while he's squeezing the truth of Hodges. Your preview after the break.
Sony Classics' Mike Tyson documentary simply dubbed, Tyson, opened this past Friday and had a strong per screen average of $25,890 opening day*, more than quintupling the per-screen average of its cat-fighting counterpart, Obsessed, and figuratively punching Beyoncé right in the uterus, Robin Givens-style. Our friends at Holy Taco have posted an op-ed piece from The New York Times written by Mike Tyson himself, in response to the very small number of haters who panned a film most critics are calling "turbulently candid and hypnotic." I don't remember the last time I was hypnotized by turbulence, but it's fun unpacking your adjectives in reviews. Unless you're Rex Reed, who just calls everything "incendiary," including fire. Check out the piece at Holy Taco here. And if you haven't seen the trailer, you can watch it after the jump. It's insendeeahwee. *Source: Leesmovieinfo.com
A month or so ago, movieblips posted a photo of Megan Fox on the set of Warner Bros.' adaptation of Western comic book Jonah Hex. In the photo, she was hiding her costume under a shapeless white robe. Well, now we know what was under all along, and boy oh boy, is it worth the wait.In the film, Fox plays a character named Leila, who to our knowledge is a new character created for the film version, the story of which is about the scarred bounty hunter (played by Josh Brolin), who tries to track a voodoo practitioner with plans to free the Confederate South with an army of the undead. You could wake the dead just by clicking on the thumbnail images below. Seriously, corsets are inhumane. But god do they look good. I blame Barbie.
This morning, ComingSoon.net got hold of new photos from the set of Columbia Pictures' Salt. The photos are of Angelina Jolie dressed like a very stylish bag lady or "hoboess" (or maybe hobess?) riding atop a train at presumably high speeds. In Salt, Jolie plays CIA officer Evelyn Salt, who is accused of being a Russian sleeper spy, and has to go on the run to clear her name. And according to ComingSoon.net, "Using all her skills and years of experience as a covert operative, she must elude capture and protect her husband or the world's most powerful forces will erase any trace of her existence. They left out the part about Salt doing it all with only a red polka dotted handkerchief tied to the end of stick, and having to subsist on shoe leather stew and harmonica music.
Went to a screening of X-Men Origins: Wolverine tonight. I can't give a proper review or anything, as I don't want to get blacklisted from future Fox screenings for the rest of my days. But I can say that director Gavin Hood was in attendance tonight and gave a heartfelt speech prior to the film, in which he swore up and down that there were 400+ incomplete effects shots in the stolen/leaked version of the film, and that it hadn't been color timed, the score hadn't been added, and the sound design was unfinished. He also mentioned that there are two different Easter egg scenes they shot to appear after the end credits, and they will be randomly dispersed.So, a print in, say, Los Angeles may have a different Easter egg ending than a print in, say, Santa Monica. I only saw one of the two Easter eggs, and I'll just say it involves another mutant who's been rumored to be getting his own film. Here's a clue:
Amber Heard is in The Informers out in limited release today. Given it's based off of a Bret Easton Ellis novel, there's a high probability she plays a young, jaded, affluent woman who does a lot of drugs, has sex with numerous people, and is void of any redeemable qualities. Early reviews of this film seem to point out that the flick itself is as unlikable as its upper crust characters, but that Heard's nudity is an incentive to see it anyway. We haven't seen the movie as of this post, but will be doing so promptly after typing that last sentence, which is now. Have a good weekend and…Enjoy the photos of Amber after the jump.
The new trailer for Rob Zombie's H2 Halloween reboot sequel is out. I think this might be the first sequel of a reboot to a franchise that actually specifically refers to itself as a sequel in the title. But I could be wrong. Feel free to berate me in the comments section, but be constructive, now! The trailer, which you'll find after the jump, starts out with a post car accident Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) repeating "I killed him" ad nauseam while some poor beat cop can't get her to say who she killed, because, you know, that would be useful for the paperwork he's going to have to file. Then we go to the hospital, where Laurie's admitted, broken leg and all, to recover. You know, I was excited for this until I saw that they gave her a broken leg. Do you realize how good sound designers are these days at making bone cracking sounds? Yeah. It's to the point where you don't have to even show the bone breaking. You just need to have some Foley artist in a 5 x 5 box crinkling Cheetos bags into a microphone. Chills. Then vomiting, I tell you.
This weekend's coming in hot. A bunch of babes get their brains re-programmed and complete various secret missions in Dollhouse, Bob Odenkirk from Mr Show guests on Breaking Bad, and I hope your not flying anytime soon, because discovery is running a 2 hour marathon of devastating plane crashes on Sunday night. Right after the break, check out a portly foreigner on a beach who's surprised to see a 747 make a water landing right in front of him.
Tonight's Thursday night TV, packed to the brim (on NBC) with new episodes for three glorious hours, is your chance to start giving Parks and Recreation a chance. Yeah, it started a little slow, and sure isn't getting any love anywhere, but it's got a Poehler-load of potential and it's leaps and bounds funnier than other shows out there (plus, Rashida Jones is a BABE). So give P&R a whirl, and check out the full preview after the break.
So, by now everyone knows that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are getting yet another big screen live-action movie via Legendary Pictures & The Mirage Group. I say huzzah, dudes! …
A live action retelling of the Ninja Turtles' origin story, from Mirage Studios and Executive Producer Peter Laird.
The other week, we spent a whole feature speculating which actress would/should take over the role of heroine Nancy Thompson in Platinum Dunes and Sam Bayer's A Nightmare on Elm Street remake. Well, now Bloodydisgusting reports that actress Rooney Mara is in negotiations to do just that.Judging by Mara's credits, which include a couple episodes of "E.R." and the upcoming Youth in Revolt with Michael Cera, the negotiations probably involved Platinum Dunes calling up Mara's representation, Mara's representation calling Mara into a meeting to tell her, Mara hesitating for a nanosecond to take in what this will mean for her career, Mara's representation slapping Mara hard across the face (probably back-handed for emphasis), and then Mara taking the gig and agreeing to also schlep coffee and wax the producer's car when she's not shooting a scene – SAG rules be damned.
This Friday, Obsessed opens in theaters. If you aren't aware, it's basically a reimagining of Fatal Attraction, only the filmmakers replaced Michael Douglas and Anne Archer with 'The Wire' & 'The Office's Idris Elba and Beyoncé Knowles, thereby creating the setup for 1000 standup jokes about how 'that white bitch Glenn Close' would never 'have f*cked with Beyoncé.' Obsessed also stars Ali Larter in the Glenn Close role, and judging by the trailer, I bet Ali's jaw is still sore from all the scenery she chewed while making the film. Check out the photos of Ali after the jump:
The incredible turn around South Park has in commenting on current issues continues with Cartman deciding to take up the life of a pirate, as 'Captain Fatbeard'. Also, instead of a new Lost, ABC is running a retrospective giving us viewers a bit of break and a little explanation. Yarrrrrr preview after the break.
Hollywood has always made itself feel better by producing films with an environmental message. But generally, behind the wafer-thin veil of humanitarian morality play is a big-budget special effects and explosions. Or sometimes it’s just Kevin Costner. Still, many of Hollywood’s “cautionary” Natural Disaster Movies have given us some great dialogue and exchanges that will stand the test of time, and keep teaching our children’s children’s children important lessons until the ozone layer depletes and they are incinerated like ants under a massive magnifying glass. *cockroaches rejoice in a long-awaited victory* Here are some of those great pieces of Natural Disaster film dialogue, and what we can learn from them: