In the wake of Avatar crushing so much ass at the box office, everyone wants to get into the 3D game. But now I have bummerific news for those who were hoping to have Russell Crowe's love handles looming out at their faces when Robin Hood comes to theaters. Previous reports that Ridley Scott had requested an additional $8 million to convert his re-telling to 3D have been denied by the studio. That's a decision that I can get behind. 3D is cool in small doses but it is ultimately an unnecessary gimmick. To the best of my knowledge, the following phrase has never been said: "Seven Samurai was really good but there just weren't enough swords poking out of the screen for my taste. Jeers to the filmmakers! Hiss! Hiss!!" (First Showing)
Spider-Man 4 is deader than dead. Sam Raimi & Tobey Maguire and Sony have decided to part ways on the project after being unable to agree that John Malkovich would look totally awesome in a vulture costume, among other creative differences. Sony has decided to reboot the franchise completely, working from a script by Jamie Vanderbilt that places Peter Parker back in high school where he'll have to deal with sexual and arachnid hormones simultaneously. You can read the full Sony press release at Deadline Hollywood, but allow me to sum it up for you: "Ass-kissing, ass-kissing, ass-kissing. We're sorry this couldn't work. We wish only the best. Everyone is fantastic. (F*ck everyone). Ass-kissing, ass-kissing."The Spider-Man reboot is expected to hit theaters in Summer 2012.In the meantime, click on these links.50 Things Made Better with Bacon (HolyTaco)Mark McGwire Confesses to Steroids Use. Duh! (TotalProSports)Beautiful People ONLY (TheChive)These Swimmers Put the 'O' in Olympics (Maxim)13 WTF Foreign Signs (SuperTremendous)10 Most Preposterous Romantic-Comedy Professions (Pajiba)Ashley Greene in Body Paint Selling Sex Water (CelebJihad)The World's First Sex Robot Has Come to Life (Unreality)The Zombie Apocalypse will be Tweeted (Asylum)9 Sex Toys that will Retract Your Boner (RegretfulMorning)100-Year Leather Briefcase Giveaway (MadeMan)Jolene Van Vugt Pics (AllLeftTurns)Police Car Runs Over Criminal's Feet (NothingToxic)Chill Porky Pig Style (Atom)
Chuck fans got their wish for a third season, which premiered last night on NBC. Chuck’s got all his superspy stuff going on with Intersect 2.0 and his stunted romance with Sarah. We also saw Morgan return from Hawaii, single, and move in with Chuck. Joshua Gomez, who plays Morgan, told Screen Junkies that’ll give you a sense of where the rest of this third season is going. “My friendship with Chuck kind of comes back together and we kind of rely on each other a lot again and become roomies, finally become roommates and become a full on bromance,” Gomez said. “There’s big things at the store as far as Morgan is concerned, takes on a higher position. It’s some good stuff.”Morgan is there to help Chuck through the emotional times, but earning a promotion at the Buy More gives Morgan problems of his own. “He is no Emmet Milbarge, so the natives get a little restless because I don't think I’m tough enough,” Gomez said. “I think they’re one of me. I can level with them, I can communicate with them. I speak their language.”Read more from Joshua after the jump.
It has been announced that screeching retard Avril Lavigne will contribute a song to Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland soundtrack. The song, entilted "Alice Underground", has been selected for the soundtrack and is reportedly going to be the first single off her upcoming album Daddy I$$uez (working title). Alice in Wonderland's soundtrack will also include songs by All Time Low and an ungodly collaboration from Mark Hoppus of Blink-182 and Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy. Wentz points out that this collaboration is only for fun and will not lead to a future band or project. Though if they are to ever combine their forces, might I recommend the band name SHART? It seems appropriate given the key ingredients of this union. (MTV)
A perfectly good cello leans up against a porch support in the teaser for HBO's new series Treme. The cello is one of several sad, ownerless instruments featured in the tour of the New Orleans neighborhood in which the series is set. Treme, from The Wire creator (start creaming your jeans) David Simon, will examine New Orleans in much the same way The Wire examined Baltimore. Treme specifically focuses on the musicians living in the titular neighborhood. Check out the trailer below, and please make a donation if you can to provide a loving home for all the stray instruments. The trumpets are the first to be put down. HBO Series Treme Teaser – Watch more Funny Videos(via HBO)
Portia Doubleday is fairly new to the scene, but her starring role opposite Michael Cera in Youth in Revolt is getting a lot of buzz. It won't be long until she's snatching up all the parts that Kirsten Dunst is too old and cracked-out to play.A word from Portia: "At 14, I was not raring to go."That's okay, Portia. Sometimes it takes longer to blossom into a sexual being. Not having a penis is usually the cause.More pics of Portia to help you blossom after the jump.
MYMAG's mission statement is to "give the world's most interesting people a chance to showcase what inspires them." Well, maybe they plan to do that with future issues because for their kick-off they've chosen Olivia Munn, Steve Aoki, and BRETT RATNER to play editor-in-chief. Says Ratner threw his buttocks: "If I weren't a film director, I would probably be a magazine editor. When I was pitched the concept for MYMAG, I was shocked — how did they know I had a treasure trove of favorite magazine articles saved in my closet?" I don't know, dude. You seem like the type who's into collage-making? If you flip through the pages of RAT-MAG, you'll find articles about Michael Jackson, Roman Polanski, and Miley Cyrus (surprisingly you won't find any glittery unicorn stickers or cheese-glued pages). In summation, Brett Ratner's favorite topics are Michael Jackson, Roman Polanski, and Miley Cyrus. If that girl from iCarly goes missing, authorities should look no further than Ratner. If he runs, release the hounds. The smell of Hostess Snowballs will lead a path directly to him.
Very few actors have the villainous acumen of Gary Oldman. His expansive biography of ne'er-do-wells extends from mythology's greatest bad guy (Dracula) to common pimps and pedophiles. His talent is so far reaching it also includes douchy politicians and power-hungry killers with bad hair.Alas, lately he's been springing up as Goody Two Shoes, like Batman's wingman Commissioner Gordon. He's even been using his predisposition as a bad guy with a sense of irony, as in his role in the Harry Potter series, Sirius Black. However, in his latest movie, The Book of Eli, he returns to his roots – playing the antagonist. So we'd like to congratulate Gary on his comeback to malevolence (we've missed you) with a highlight of the various evil-doers he's made so vivid on the silver screen, ranked in order of his characters' titles.
The resemblance is uncanny.Blake Lively and her pants will be traveling to Louisiana to star opposite Ryan Reynolds in Martin Campbell's Green Lantern. Lively beat out both Jennifer Garner and Keri Russell to play the role of Carol Ferris, the aerospace firm VP who hires Hal Jordan to pilot her test rocket. It is while piloting this rocket that Jordan is bestowed the power of the Green Lantern. Of course it seems like a stretch to cast a 22-year old as the head of an aerospace firm who later becomes the super-villian Star Sapphire, but somehow I don't mind. Though I am slightly confused whether I should have a nerd boner or a regular one right now. (THR)
It's official. John Malkovich will be the Vulture. That is if there is a Vulture. Spider-Man 4 shooting has been delayed while Sam Raimi and the studio settle their differences. Meanwhile, John Malkovich has confirmed to Italian soccer TV show Quelli Che il Calcio, that he is waiting on a script and he hopes shooting will begin soon. As previously reported, the reason for the row between Raimi and the suits is over the choice of villian. Raimi wants Malkovich to strap on the serrated wings of the Vulture and the studio wants someone who can sell Happy Meals. I don't know what it is about Malkovich but he makes toddlers lose their appetites. Maybe they're still grossed out from his nude scene in Dangerous Liasons. At any rate, we'll surely keep you posted on this story. Will Raimi make the film he wants? Will Malkovich fall at the hands of Studio Mogul-Man?? Find out on the next thrilling episode of Spider-Man 4 Internet Rumors.Arrogant bastard… (via Collider)
That compelling storyline is comin' right for us!If you've been devotedly watching FlashForward recently and wishing there wasn't so much lag time in between the juicy, brain-wrinkling turn of events, then get ready to be happy. Screen Junkies got the opportunity to sit down with the show's creator and executive producer David Goyer, and he told us FlashForward is cramming a ton more story into season one than was originally intended:By the end of the season we will have burned through what I think I was originally thinking would be the first two seasons. One thing that we’ve done is we’ve moved things forward. We certainly are responding to some of the fans saying, “Are we not moving fast enough?” So we’ve kind of been given the opportunity now to answer a lot more questions and move faster. I will say that starting with our first two hour, we answer a ton. Answers are so much less infuriating than more questions. Steeped in so much mystery, the show was starting to become as frustrating as trying to figure out where to go to dinner with a girlfriend. "I want to go wherever you want to go. Well I want to go wherever YOU want to go. That's it! We're boiling hot dogs and drinking boxed wine."David Goyer also talked about the development of his current feature projects, including the origin story of X-Men baddie Magneto. He wouldn't give up much, but when asked if Magneto was still in the works, Goyer responded, "Yes."So there you have it, folks. Magneto is definitely maybe going to be hitting theaters sometime soon/never. Let's just hope Ian McKellen is still alive to see the premiere. Celebs are droppin' like flies these days. Don't you give me the stink eye, McKellen.(Source: Fred Topel)
In a strange turn of events, the klansman sat at the back of the bus.Here are your weekend links.Watch Break.com Videos on Your iPhone. Right now. (iTunes)25 Holy Images in Everyday Things (HolyTaco)15 Hot Alabama Crimson Tide Girls (TotalProSports)Feed or Felicia Day Nerd Crush (TheCrush)Cora Skinner Looks Good in ANYTHING (Maxim)You Can Do Things to Keeley Hazell (Manofest)Nick Nolte Documentary Looks GD Amazing (FilmDrunk)Everything's Coming Up Quaid (Pajiba)2009 Movie Mashup Video (CelebJihad)The Scariest Looking Abandoned Theaters (Unreality)GPS Lingerie Device Has No Purpose (Asylum)6 Douchebags You're Likely to Meet Online (RegretfulMorning)America's Most Notorious Frats (MadeMan)Who is the Shaved-Back NASCAR Guy? (AllLeftTurns)Truck Slams into Ticket Writing Cop (NothingToxic)What the Crap is the Google Nexus 1? (Atom)
We've decided to institute a new feature on Screen Junkies called, People Are Crazy. For the kick-off we look to the nation of France, second only to Japan in terms of being cuckoo bananas, as this Stars Wars dance battle clearly illustrates. If the French Remade Star Wars – Watch more Funny Videos Oooooh, Lord Vader got served. (via I Watch Stuff)
April 16th cannot get here fast enough. A new trailer for Kick-Ass was released today and it proves that you don't need a super power to be a superhero. All you really need is a gun and a penchant for violence. Mark Strong also appears as the villian who addresses the elephant in the room by comparing Nic Cage's Big Daddy to Batman. Now allow me to address another elephant. Mark Strong, did you steal Andy Garcia's face? Feast your eyes on the awesome new trailer after the jump…
As ordered by NBC, Leno administers the two-fingered enema.The gloves are off in the NBC/Leno/O'Brien debacle! Yesterday we reported that Leno might be replacing Conan on The Tonight Show, and now today we've learned it's not so much replacing as it is violently nudging. Apparently the suits over at NBC have given Leno his 11:30PM time slot back. Conan has the choice of either taking the 12:00AM, in which case Leno's show would be a half hour, or he can also decide to f*ck off completely. If Conan tells NBC brass to go screw themselves then Leno will get a full hour. So much hostility. Stop fighting, mommy and daddy, you're doing harm to the children!I suppose poor ratings for both shows can be blamed on this trist, or the fact that old people find Conan awkward looking and obnoxious, but it really all comes down to one super villain… You guessed it: Studio Mogul-Man.Smug son of a bitch…(via TMZ)
As I'm sure you're already aware, Kaitlin Olson is best known for playing Sweet Dee on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. She has to put up with the gang hating on her every week, but in real life she's married to Mac. The revenge sex must be CRAZY. A word from Kaitlin: "I didn't want to just be cute and on TV. I wanted to be funny."And you've succeeded on all fronts, Kaitlin. It's girls like you that make me wish girls like you existed in my social circle. Check out some more cute, funny, hot pics of Kaitlin after the jump.
A low-res trailer for Smokin' Joe Carnahan's The A-Team has leaked online. All in all, it looks pretty fun and over the top. The action has been drastically updated since the 1980's series. For instance, a tank fights a jet… thousands of feet above the ground. Take that Live Free or Die Hard! It actually reminds me somewhat of the Charlie's Angels movies except it won't make you want to choke out Cameron Diaz. Which is no small feat. Everyone in the cast looks good too, including Rampage Jackson. Check it out after the jump before it gets yanked.
The King of the World wants to bomb Japan. James Cameron has optioned Charles Pellegrino's "The Last Train From Hiroshima: The Survivors Look Back." Pellegrino's book chronicles the two days following the nuclear attacks and weaves together eyewitness accounts from Japanese survivors and American pilots.Cameron met with Tsutomu Yamaguchi, the only survivor of the atomic bombings of both Hiroshima and Nagasaki, in late December. Yamaguchi passed away earlier this week.Though Cameron has not set up a film pertaining to the subject matter, it seems that he is doing his research. If this project does come to fruition, expect it to be the big one. Sorry. (Variety)
Nic Cage turned 46 today and hosted the creepiest party ever!Make a wish and click on these links.25 Epic Faceplants (HolyTaco)LeBron James Hits Crazy Shot (TotalProSports)Hot Chicks with Stubbed Toes (TheChive)Amanda Bynes is Lookin' SEXy (Maxim)Avatar #2 of All Time in 20 Days (FilmDrunk)Barroom Brawling Made Easy (Manofest)10 Best Films of 2009 (Pajiba)Tiger Woods Had Gay Sex (CelebJihad)20 Awesome Examples of Photo Retouching (Unreality)Do Yoga to Make Your Penis Bigger (Asylum)6 Ways the Internet F's Up Your Life (RegretfulMorning)Buy Your First Motorcycle (MadeMan)The Next Decade of NASCAR (AllLeftTurns)
"Take him." "Take him."TMZ is reporting that NBC has a plan to fix their Leno problem but unfortunately it doesn't solve our Leno problem. Due to very poor ratings, the network is reportedly moving Leno back to his 11:30pm timeslot. No word yet on the validity of this report or how it will effect The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. Will Conan be pushed back an hour or ousted completely? This treatment is a bitch slap in the face to O'Brien considering his years with the network and the fact he uprooted to sunny California for the hosting gig. Don't they realize the sun can turn a ginger to ash? (TMZ)
You can leave your bottle of Jergen's at home when you go to see The Black Swan, fellas. The hot, angry, lesbian, ballerina sex that we previously reported would take place between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis is going to be filmed with the aid of breast doubles. Portman tells UK Elle that she will never show her naughty bits on the big screen."I'm definitely not a prude about sex or nudity, I just don't want do something that will end up as a screen grab on a porn site so meanwhile I'm doing halfsies – I'm like, 'I'll show my butt but not my boobs',"I'm sure perverts the world over are saddened by this news but bear in mind that she is an actress, not an object. It's difficult for young women to always be taken seriously in Hollywood and I salute her convictions. I urge you perverts to as well. OH! GROSS GUYS!!! THAT'S NOT HOW YOU SALUTE!!! (UK Elle via The Playlist)
Isabel Lucas was an Australian soap opera star who made her feature debut running away from robots with Shia LaBeouf in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. She can now be seen in Daybreakers, which opens this Friday, where her character hopefully does a lot of sucking.A word from Isabel: "I keep asking myself 'why am I so special?' I don't understand why I'm so blessed to be in this position.”Have you looked in a mirror lately, Isabel? You're hot! And you're accent gives me a warm, tingly feeling inside. I'd call that pretty damn special.Check out some more special pics of Isabel after the jump.
As you can see, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World takes place on the set of America Gladiators. Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Jason Schwartzman stand stoically as judges in the far background, while a dude breakdances in the middle ground. I'm just not sure if they're judging the dancing or Michael Cera's lightsaber skills. Maybe the guy taking a dump near the edge of frame knows. Edgar Wright's Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is about a Michael Cera type character played by Michael Cera who has to fight the seven evil ex-boyfriends of the girl of his dreams. That's a lot of effort to bag some tail. She better be really bendy. (via /Film)
Howard Stern sidekick and actor Artie Lange was admitted to the hospital this past weekend for undisclosed reasons and now the cause has come to light. According to the NY Post, Lange attempted to take his own life by STABBING HIMSELF NINE TIMES. That's so metal! It's 9 times more metal than Juliet Capulet's suicide and 4.5 times more so than Elliott Smith's. The bloodied funnyman was discovered by his mother who called 911. Surgeons were able to save him despite a massive loss of blood. Stern commented on-air, "We all have our demons. Artie has given this show tremendous moments of great comedy. He's a tremendous contributor. He is a good man. Don't forget how great he is."Factoring together his eating, drinking, drugging, and stabbing-himself-nine-times habits, the man is obviously invincible. Perhaps he's the protector this world needs. If only he would stop copying Chris Farley. (NY Post)
It's that time of year when networks bust out a few new shows and returning favorites to fill the space that all the Fall season crap left behind. We've chosen our 10 mid-season favorites that through our in-depth analysis seem like the programs worth your precious time. Watch them live or set your DVR up for series record, but at least give them a chance. Then if they suck you can tell us to shove our horrible judgement up our asses. PARENTHOODWhat it's about:It's like the Ron Howard movie, but a TV show. Sorry, no Steve Martin, though. Follow the Braverman Family as they try to hold it together.When it's on:Mondays at 9:00PM E/P on NBC. Premieres March 1st. Why you should watch:
Have you brosefs seen the trailer for She's Out Of My League? It has babes, bros, and ejaculation jokes. All that's missing is Eugene Levy and his dead horse beating stick. Dude, rock on! Let's drink brews and listen to Asher Roth! UR my boy, Blue!! The movie looks like a cousin to Miss March, The Hottie & the Nottie, and Euro-Trip and there's a good reason for that. It was written by Hot Tub Time Machine and Sex Drive's Sean Anders and John Morris, who learned English by reading Maxim magazine. Jay Baruchel and TJ Miller are solid comedic actors so let's hope this movie has some bite that they're just not showing. Apart from Alice Eve, there's nothing worth looking at in this trailer. Watch for yourself but this almost looks as bad as Cop Out. Shes Out of My League Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos
Last night on The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog visited a spa in Los Angeles that caters entirely to dogs. The experience was so revolting he urged Conan to move back to NYC. If Triumph wants to see something really revolting I suggest he visit any Hollywood club on a Saturday night. After five minutes of wading through a sea of douchebags he'll be on the next red eye out of LAX.Breathe in deeply and click these links:25 Funn College Gameday Signs (HolyTaco)Cuba Gooding Jr. Strips on Ice; Gets Cake in Face (TotalProSports)Sexy Motivational Posters (TheChive)Pics of Tiger's Mistress Jamiee Grubbs (Maxim)Deadpool Movie Gets Zombieland Writers (FilmDrunk)20 Greatest Last Supper Parodies of All Time (SuperTremendous)10 Best Netflix Gems of 2009 (Pajiba)Tila Tequila Inherits Lifetime Supply of KY Jelly (CelebJihad)So There WAS Supposed to be an Avatar Sex Scene (Unreality)Movies Teach Us How to Dispose of Bodies (Asylum)Tattoo'd Bombshell Michelle (RegretfulMorning)How to Fight off a Mugger (MadeMan)NASCAR and Avatar: In Perspective (AllLeftTurns)Brazilian Gangster Boards Bust to Shoot Passenger (NothingToxic)Paul F. Tompkins Prepares for Zombies (Atom)
They never were able to get the smell of bacon out of the car's interior.George Lucas and his nine-month pregnant neck appeared on last night's episode of The Daily Show to promote his new book Blockbusting. When asked about the fan backlash against the trilogy of Star Wars prequels, Lucas responded, "It's a work of fiction. It's a metaphor, it's not real. And therefore you can either like it or not like it. Whatever." Oooh. Are you gonna take that haters? Or are you going to grab your shovels and do what needs to be done?? Check out the full interview…
This clip from Dogma 2 Legion gives us a glimpse of the throwdown between Kevin Durand's black-winged Gabriel and Paul Bettany's fallen angel Michael. Here, Durand makes the normally fatal error of bringing a mace to a gun fight. But weapon choices don't really matter in this case because this movie was made after The Matrix. OBVIOUSLY angels are karate experts. It says so in the Bible. Right before the part where Moses walks away from the burning bush in slow motion. Legion spin kicks into theaters on January 22nd, 2010. Watch the trailer here. (Yahoo)