News - Page 331

Who Will Become First Puppy?
Thursday, November 6 by

It’s been a tough road to the White House. And now an even tougher race has begun. John Oliver looks at some of the leading contenders.

Winslet Stars As Sexy Nazi
Thursday, November 6 by

Kate Winslet is way hotter to guys who are in their 40’s.  She tends to play characters that aren’t supposed to be exactly sexy, but do have sexy qualities. This time she’s pushing the envelope by wandering into Nazi territory. It’s an interesting strategy.

Steven Seagal Runs Like A Wuss
Wednesday, November 5 by

The first time I drank Steven's Seagal's energy drink I was afraid of 2 things. Spontaneously growing a ponytail and never being able to get the taste of salty balls out of my mouth.

Sean William Scott Talks Squirting
Wednesday, November 5 by

This is a pretty dope interview from the Role Models Junket done by the sexy-funny Carrie Keagan of No Good TV. I’m putting the video after the jump because it is way not safe for work. It is also totally hilarious. She has a new fan.

Wolf Blitzer, You’re My Only Hope
Wednesday, November 5 by

There are a bunch of different opinions on how this magical scientific future hologram technology was used last night on CNN’s coverage of the returns. I think it’s pretty dope. Some day Wolf Blitzer's head is just going to be beamed into your house, beard and all.

Morning News Never Tasted So Good
Wednesday, November 5 by

I was sitting in a bar last night with my girlfriend drinking Talisker and watching the  TV.  A Jewish guy named Wolf and a gay guy named Anderson were talking about how a black guy named Barack had just been elected to be leader of the free world.  Hollywod can't even write something that good.   

Tomorrow Is The Next Day Of Forever Link Dump
Tuesday, November 4 by

This is my favorite scene from Dave Chappelle's Block Party. I'm just going to let Wyclef sing you into the returns.

Guitar Hero Commercial With Heidi Klum
Tuesday, November 4 by

Don't get me wrong. The one with Kobe and Phelps was great and all. But this one…um…I'll be back in exactly 3.5 minutes. (3.5 minutes later) Ok, where were we? Ah yes, this Guitar Hero commercial. Hmm. I'm just not as interested anymore. Maybe again in 30 minutes? 

If Movies Had Cell Phones
Tuesday, November 4 by

Every time a new technology comes along I am immediately confused as to how I ever functioned before it existed. Google Maps on my Blackberry is a great example.  I can’t leave the house without that anymore. And what did we do before Map Quest?

Natalie Portman On The Topic Of Meowocracy
Tuesday, November 4 by

Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones make another important point about the rights for which our Forefathers shed their blood.  Today, when you head to the polls,  I want EVERYONE to consider one thing: KITTENS! YAY! 

Global Fresh Start Morning News
Tuesday, November 4 by

The top headline on Yahoo news this morning was “World gears up to celebrate a fresh start for America.” What this country needs is a solid seven minute montage where we all dig thorough our stuff and take anything republican and throw it in the trash. We all roll up our sleeves and just CLEAN. Now get our there and VOTE.

Lando Calrissian ’08 Link Dump
Monday, November 3 by

Leave it to the Empire to lower themselves to such dirty tactics.  How can we forget about their Wookie love child ads against Wedge Antilles' senatorial campaign? Don't forget to get out there tomorrow and vote tomorrow for what's important.

Monday Mashup: Scranton Royale
Monday, November 3 by

I was the 6,666 viewer of this video on Youtube. Is that good luck or is my internet haunted? Whatever, check this masuhp. I felt it appropriate with the upcoming release of Quantum of Solace. I might even watch Casino Royale again just to get in the mood. That’s what she said. HA! GET IT?!?! Oh man. 6,666.

Palin Pranksters On Early Show
Monday, November 3 by

I listened to this whole bit over the weekend and found it a touch uncomfortable in parts. You realize that Sarah Palin really is exactly what you think. She’s a mom from Alaska that talks to who she assumes to be the leader of a G-8 country like she’s addressing the head of the Wasilla PTA.

Morning News Roundup
Monday, November 3 by

It was basically a non-Halloween this year. I slept most of Sunday but managed to watch Shoot Em Up. I think that if Daniel Craig’s beautiful face somehow gets mangled and they need a new Bond character, it should be Clive Owen. That just the kind of brilliant insight you're going to get around here.

Time To Find A Slutty Nurse Link Dump
Friday, October 31 by

Thanks to Holy Taco for this clip. It’s a gem, a real gem.

A Fanboy Rants: In Defense Of Heroes
Friday, October 31 by

Welcome to a new column where we let our many entertainment aficionado readers sound off on matters of immense import. This week’s rant comes from Brendon in Seattle, WA. With the news this morning that a previously popular television show will be losing some of its top production talent due to poor ratings, I believe you will find this opinion piece to be both timely and impassioned.  Without further adieu, I give you “In Defense of Heroes.”

Bin Laden Was A Community Oraganizer
Friday, October 31 by

If I do end up going out to any Halloween parties this weekend I’m totally going as a “Community Organizer.” That’s going to be the hottest costume on the block. Oversized T-Shirt, clipboard with some extra pens, a pair of Crocks with smart wool socks.  I can totally scrape that together at 6pm tonight.

Morning News With Boo Bees
Friday, October 31 by

For Halloween two years ago I was a life sized home pregnancy test. I was so proud of myself for that costume. I ran around Sixth Street in Austin like the world was ending with people yelling EPT and trying to convince girls to pee on me.

Morning News Roundup
Friday, October 31 by

Samuel L. Jackson and Maggie Cheung join the cast of Inglourious Bastards (/films) New Valkyrie trailer now online (Empire) Changeling writer to pen Forbidden Planet (HollywoodReporter) BBC exec resigns over Brand scandal (Variety)…

Noah Wyle Must Owe Hookers Money Links
Thursday, October 30 by

I try really, really hard not to post one trailer right after another. But I just came across this one. It might get the prize for worst ever.

UPDATE: Joaquin Talks Like A Stroke Victim
Thursday, October 30 by

Oh man, we mentioned yesterday that Joaquin was going to give up acting to pursue his music. But this clip makes me think he’s totally punking the reporter about the whole thing. Either way its really weird and awkward and fun to watch. He makes Busey look sober. Thanks to special Joaquin correspondent Nat for the tip.

Saw School Musical
Thursday, October 30 by

Black20 has had some viral internet GOLD. They have brought us such wonders as The PG Version Of 300 and Journey At the Center of The Earth. This is a quasi mashup recut of Saw and High School Musical.

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Thursday, October 30 by
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Thursday, October 30 by

Zack and Miri Make a Porno: Star Whores – Watch more free videos

EXCLUSIVE Role Models Clip!
Thursday, October 30 by

Here’s an exclusive clip from Role Models. I saw an early screening of it and did a review. It blew my mind. You an read my review here.

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Thursday, October 30 by
She’s Gone Rogue
Thursday, October 30 by

Is it just me or has The Daily Show increased their funniness factor by like elevendy billion lately? There are so many good jokes in this one. Just watch the whole thing.

Brett Ratner Made This Commercial Morning News
Thursday, October 30 by

Call me a little bitch, but I never caught on to this whole Guitar Hero thing. I think my problem with it is that people who are really good at it are the opposite of Heroes. They should make a new game called “King Of Fake Guitar Playing Mountain Dew Gives Me Acne What Does A Boobie Feel Like.”  

Morning News Roundup
Thursday, October 30 by

  Sho'nuff! It’s Samuel L.