Here's a classic clip from the film Silent Night, Deadly Night that reminds us all never to strike up a conversation with the elderly. Chances are they're going to frighten or cough on you. "You see Santa tonight you better run, boy! You better run…for your life!"
The only thing I don't like about Lake Bell is her name. Who names their kid after a body of water? Hippies, that's who! River Phoenix's parents did it and look what happened to him. He died outside of a nightclub. Let this be a lesson to all parents: don't go chasing waterfalls. Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to. Why did I just quote TLC? See Lake taking Meryl Streep's Baldwin in It's Complicated on Christmas Day.A word from Lake: "You have to keep hobbies in L.A. Otherwise, it's sad."Um, hello, Lake. What about being disillusioned? That keeps things constantly happy. And don't you tell me otherwise! See pics of Lake in a lake after the jump. Brilliant!
Grooooooaaaaaan. The trailer for Kevin Smith's new "comedy" Cop Out, formerly know as A Couple of Cops, formerly know as A Couple of Dicks (yes! funnier!), has hit, and it's about as amusing as tweezing someone else's pubes. I can't even tell what the movie is about, except that Tracy Morgan's character (I'm guessing a mentally challenged volunteer?) is teamed up with Bruce Willis's character (a "doin' it for the paycheck" grizzled veteran who's simply getting too old for this sh*t?). Oh Kevin Smith, what has happened to you. I don't doubt that movie making by committee impeded on your ultimate vision for this film, but I honestly don't know if your ultimate vision would have been much better even if you were given free reign. Maybe if Jay and Silent Bob were hanging outside of every convenience store Morgan and Willis will inevitably go in to. After all, you gotta get product placement in their somehow. My ideal sponsors for this film would be Chiquita Bananas and KY Jelly. Cop Out rips one in theaters on February 2nd, 2010. Check out the trailer after the jump. Or if you'd like to be more entertained, just watch the opening credits of Panic Room.
Editor Kees van Dijkhuizen has put together a tremendous Cinema 2009 retrospective. He's mashed together an enormous amount of 2009 film clips for his piece, 1 Year, 342 Movies, 12 Months of Production, 7 Minutes. Think of it as a more whimsical Trailer To End All Trailers.From Kees: "2009 proved that innovation is rewarded, and for that reason, I've decided no film should be left behind." For the most part, he's true to his word. The only thing missing from this clip is Nic Cage and his singing iguanas. Once you're done updating your Netflix queue, check out these links… Where To Hook Up in an Airport (Holy Taco) Redneck Waterskiing (Total Pro Sports) Your Girlfriend is Doing a Kegstand (The Chive) Brendan Fraser: A Career in Pictures (FilmDrunk) 8 Gifts That Only Rich Kids Got (Maxim) This Decade's Most Painful Movies (Pajiba) Zany Snowmen (Unreality) Things You Should Never Do or Say When Stopped for a DWI (Asylum) Mrs. Claus Looks Very Good in Very Little (RegretfulMorning) 8 Women Who Are Completely Off-Limits (MadeMan) What Is Your NASCAR IQ? (AllLeftTurns) Dude Gets Run Over by Roller Coaster (NothingToxic) In Case You Wanted A Russian Mail-Order Wife for X-Mas (Atom)
I'm pretty sure that if I attended this tea party I would be the biscuit this motley crew served their LSD on. Who is the Mad Hatter's interior designer anyway? You can't mix multi-colored tablecloths and then just place a caterpillar on a giant mushroom in the foyer. It ruins the whole flow of the space!This new art proves to be just as trippy as the most recent trailer, and I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. I still haven't decided if I'm excited about this new Tim Burton cacophony of mental wails, but a few Xanax might change my mind. (via JoBlo)
This raccoon needs to fire his agent. If you thought that the box office failure of Old Dogs signaled a sea change in American cinema, I'm sorry to say that you need to be less stupid. Below is the trailer for Furry Vengeance, a movie about woodland animals trying to destroy Brendan Fraser. Don't worry yourselves, animals. His management team will destroy him in due time. Furry Vengeance opens in theaters April 2nd, 2010, just in case you're looking for an empty theater that day. Commit eyeball-seppuku by watching the trailer after the jump…
Lily Cole is one of those models that you look at and think to yourself, "How is that girl a model?" She's hot but also kinda weird looking, like there's too much face for her features, even though her eyes are huge. I have absolutely nothing to complain about below the neck. A word from Lily: "Kate Moss has had such a phenomenal career and I wouldn't even like to compare myself to her."Lily's got more meat on her bones than Kate, which is nice. Maybe she'll become known as the fat Kate Moss, meaning healthy-looking. Check out more fat Kate Moss pics after the jump.
France has given America so much over the years; the Statue of Liberty, cheese, a place for Johnny Depp to sleep, and now this new Inception trailer. I'm not sure if this is the trailer that will be attached to Sherlock Holmes later this week but I am sure that it looks intriguing and deserves a watch. Leonardo DiCaprio contends with a city that is literally curling in on itself as if it were being potato-peeled. It's hard to say what exactly is going on other than that, but Christopher Nolan's visual style has me hungry for more. Sadly, I failed French but I'll try to translate anyway. Hmmm. All I've got is "the duck… is tall." What does that even mean?? Is that part of another one of those damn confusing virals? (Making Of) Bend your mind around the trailer after the jump…
Recently Sesame Street's Elmo was having a really hard time falling asleep (you would too if you had a hand shoved up your poop-shoot). Luckily, the unbelievably famous Ricky Gervais broke into the young Muppet's bedroom to assist with a "Celebrity Lullaby." To coax Elmo off to Dreamland, Gervais decided to serenade him about the letter "N" and all the words you can spell with it. Words like, Nap, Nightcap, Nummies, and Naff off you insufferable little sh*t. Gervais doesn't come right out and say that but you can tell he wants to. Between this and their earlier insult-laden video, the tension between them is so thick. Hurry up and bang already, you two. Everyone knows you want it.
Last week we showed you the hard rockin' trailer for Ridley Scott's down and dirty Robin Hood film. Today we have the UK poster which has the softer, more subtle approach of Russell Crowe trying to kill us. It features an intense Crowe murderously staring down the shaft of his pointy, shooty thing.More importantly, the poster reminds us that director Ridley Scott and Crowe once famously teamed up for Gladiator. The point they are trying to make is, if you loved seeing Russell Crowe stab and beat people in that film then you will probably enjoy him stabbing and beating AND shooting people in this film."I'll teach ya to readjust lights while I'm thespianing, ya c*nt."Given Crowe's explosive temper, the still looks more like he's threatening an unlucky lensman a la Christian Bale. Save where Bale uses his words, Crowe goes the more direct route of shooting them in the face. Robin Hood arrives in theaters May 14th, 2010. (HeyUGuys via First Showing)
FROZEN trailer – Watch more Funny VideosThis Better Off Dead remake took a lot of liberties. Stay frozen right there and peruse these links… 25 Naughty Mrs. Claus Pictures (Holy Taco) Frank the Puppet Has Advice for Tiger Woods (Total Pro Sports) Laugh Away the Holiday Blues with LOL Jesus. Lol. (The Chive) Roger Ebert > Pete Hammond (FilmDrunk) A Look Back Maxim's Sexiest Covers of the Decade (Maxim) Christmas Dominos (SuperTremendous) The 10 Most Overlooked Films of the Decade (Pajiba) Reasons The Phantom Menace Sucked in a Streamlined 70 Minutes (Unreality) Facebook Cited As 2009's #1 Homewrecker (Asylum) Tramp Stamp Tuesday (RegretfulMorning) How to Avoid Fatal Attractions (MadeMan) Wendy Venturini Pictures (AllLeftTurns) Bikers Pulverize Heckler (NothingToxic) Animated Christmas Specials, This Is The Remix (Atom)
Leonardo DiCaprio scowls in the new mystery Who Farted? The Motion Picture Talkie. Just kidding, you guys. Martin Scorsese didn't make a movie about someone farting. Though if he did, smart money would have Max von Sydow being the culprit. He seems like the type.This poster is nearly identical to the earlier poster with a few hardly noticeable changes. Mainly they spruced up the color to make it less dismal and depressing. Afterall, the last thing I want to be is bummed out when I see a movie about pyschologically crippled people stuffed into cages against their will. (CHUD)
The Karate Kid (2010) – Watch more Funny Videos Now, this is a trailer all about how I learned to karate kick and flip upside down. If you'd like to take a minute and hear about this thing, I'll tell you how I became the only black kid in Beijing. My moms moved to China and that really sucked. In the playground, getting my ass beat up. I talked to one Asian girl and then I'm like, "Damn! Did Jackie Chan just break off that kid's hand?" (via Yahoo)
I have never met one male that doesn't know and love Rachel McAdams. Some people say she has a big forehead, and I say to them, "YOU'VE got a big forehead!" I'm childish like that. Catch Rachel in Sherlock Holmes on Christmas Day giving Robert Downey Jr. sass. A word from Rachel: "If I hurt someone, if I were to accidentally poke someone's eye out, I would laugh. And then I'd say, 'I'm sorry, I really do feel bad,' but then I'm on the floor rolling."We share the same affinity for gauging people's eyes out! Our first date will certainly be an interesting one… :O Don't you touch Rachel's eyes in the pics after the jump!
Here we have a poster and trailer for Knight & Day. The film stars Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, and Cameron Diaz's donger. Seriously, poster design guy? You're supposed to airbrush OUT the lead actress's penis. It's that lack of attention to detail that got you fired from designing Lady Gaga album covers. Check out Tom Cruise's comedic and karate chops in the trailer after the jump…
The red band trailer for Kick-Ass certainly lives up to its name by showcasing Chloe Moretz's foul-mouthed Hit Girl as she kicks every ass in sight. More specifically, she shoots a dude through his cheek, cuts off a Malcom Jamal Warner lookalike's leg, and drops the "C" bomb on a room full of thugs. Now I'm all kinds of homesick. Seeing such a young girl growl the "C" word really makes me miss my nieces.
This morning we have a final crazy and creepy poster for The Crazies. The image shows a man (probably a Crazy) dragging a bloody pitchfork down a long hallway. At least, I think it's blood. Looks pretty dark and inky. Oh hey! Did you guys get into my henna?!!!The Crazies opens on February 26th but you can watch the latest trailer here. Then make up your on plot around that and convince people you saw an early screening, you big liar.
Here's a teaser trailer for the movie Marmaduke, based on the classic comic strip Great Dane that isn't nearly as cool as Scooby Doo. Owen Wilson, fresh off of Marley & Me, provides the voice of the beast, who's apparently an angst-ridden teenager. Are we talking a teenager in dog years or people years, because if it's dog years than that means he's probably going to die soon. If that's the case then yay. Imagine Owen Wilson reading you these links. Why Winter Sucks (HolyTaco) Tom Kelly Loses His Pants on the Field (TotalProSports) Help Us Find These HOT Girls (TheChive) Will Ferrell Photobombs Wedding Announcement (FilmDrunk) Madonna Humping Things (Maxim) 20 Funniest Snowman Photos of All Time (SuperTremendous) Looking Back at the TV Year that Was (Pajiba) Gallery of Ridiculous Andy Samberg Faces (Unreality) The First Asian Victoria's Secret Model (Asylum) An Honest Look at Christmas Through the Years (RegretfulMorning) Last Minute Stocking Stuffers for Men (MadeMan) Danica Patrick Photo Spread (AllLeftTurns) Cat Fight! (NothingToxic) Best Holiday Videos of the Season (Atom)
Last week we saw Leonardo DiCaprio knee-deep in the first poster for Christopher Nolan's Inception. And now we have a second poster which appears to be an aerial photo taken in Chicago's historic Inception District. What? You've never been??!!! There's this tiny hole in the wall that serves amazing tapas. Tell Brian I sent you.You can catch the second teaser in front of Sherlock Holmes and see the first teaser right here.
I have to admit I don't watch Saturday Night Live much these days, but I do enjoy me a hilarious digital short every now and then. I feel like the Andy Samberg shorts are on a totally different level than the rest of the show. His heightened and irreverent humor always shines through, and he seems to get away with a ton of sh*t that never succeeds in the live skits. The Twizzle Wizzle short below is no exception. Imagine if The Wiggles did on television what I'm sure they do when they go back to their homes every night. Forced happiness wears on a person…
"Don't get fresh with me Richard Belzer." Luc Besson's latest French language film, Les Aventures Extraordinaires d'Adele Blanc-Sec (rough translation: French Tomb Raider) has a new teaser. Not much is shown in this first look. We see a guy with awesome Mythbusters-esque facial hair, a French Wilford Brimley, and a pterodactyl. We do not get to lay our eyes on hot French weather girl turned movie star Louise Bourgoin, but I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot of her in the new year. Early reports are that this film has a 95% chance of being mostly kick-ass. (/Film) Get out your French-to-English dictionary and check out the trailer after the jump…
DIRECTOR: Luc BessonCAST: Louise Bourgoin; Gilles Lellouche; Phillippe NahonSYNOPSIS: An adventure set in the early party of the 20th century and focused on a popular novelist and her dealings with would-be suitors, the cops, monsters, and other distractions.
Goodfellas is one of the best movies ever made, but it offers education as well as entertainment. Below are nine of the most important messages you should hold on to after watching Martin Scorsese's classic, and while making your flimsy 2010 resolutions. So read on and pay attention, you rat, you. Everybody takes a beating sometimes.
Being a big fan of Brittany Murphy's work in Clueless, Sin City, and 8 Mile, I was saddened by her sudden passing yesterday morning. Even though many of her projects weren't exactly my cup of tea, whenever I did see one of her films I always thought she brought a fun, bubbly nature to the screen. There's no doubt that she possessed a great deal of talent. It's a shame we can no longer see it grow.Check out a few more fun, bubbly pics of Brittany after the jump.
"We stole these from J.J. Abrams."Jonah Hill's 21 Jump Street is inching closer to "thing that may actually happen" status. There's news that Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller are in talks to take the reins. The movie, of course, centers on young cops who go undercover in high schools to prevent teen crimes. No strangers to comedic teen angst, Lord and Miller are also the creators of Clone High, a clever animated series whose untimely cancellation is a crime worse than anything Randy Quaid's wife ever did. Negotiations are in the works but it seems likely the duo will get the gig. After all, Jonah Hill really loves Meatballs. (Variety)
Several news outlets, including TMZ, are reporting that Brittany Murphy passed away this morning due to cardiac arrest. This is especially sad considering the actress was only 32 years old. Murphy was best known for her role as Tai in Clueless, where she got us all rollin' with the homies. You'll be missed, Brittany, so now we offer you one for being our homie these past several years.
Sarah! Your date is here!!Point your hungry eyeballs toward the new Daybreakers poster and feed them its creepiness. Check out the trailer if you don't know about the film's society of vampires plot. But is it really practical to hang upside down while wearing a suit and tie? Gravity would cause them to flop down on your face. That proves it! Double Stick tape is a vampire's best friend.
Those who have long underestimated our TV Culinary Personalities had best to check themselves. It's widely known that Chef Julia Childs once killed a man via headbutt, and Rachel Ray… she just seems like she'd cut a bitch. Now, Martha Stewart has raised her street cred by baking with Snoop Dogg on yesterday's episode of Martha. Watch as Snoop Dizzle and M. Stizzle rap about the special ingredient missing from their brownies. Snoop Dogg will do anything to be on television. The countdown to his eventual Yo Gabba Gabba! appearance begins NOW. (via NY Mag)AUTHOR'S NOTE: Holy sh*t!!!
Prairie dog see, Prairie dog do. This weekend's dramatic links.The History of Boob Jobs (HolyTaco)A Golf Shot Made Down a Winding Staircase (TotalProSports)Sexy Santas (TheChive)15 Inappropriate Posters Redone for the Holidays (MovieFone)Sarah Jessica Parker Kicked by a Cow Open Thread (FilmDrunk)20 Worst Christmas Family Portraits (Manofest)Stephanie Pratt Wears Jackets with No Shirt (Maxim)10 Most Culturally Poisonous Movies of the Aughts (Pajiba)Tiger Woods' Wife Planning to Sleep with Other Golfers (CelebJihad)5 Classic Movies that Were Supposed to be Disasters (Unreality)Best Sexy Model Calendars of 2010 (Asylum)Ingrid Ullrich Looks Good in Black & White (RegretfulMorning)How to Pick Up an Athletic Chick (MadeMan)Top Five Drivers of the Decade (AllLeftTurns)Pothead Chokes to Death (NothingToxic)Best Video of 2009 (Atom)
The Coen Brothers are casting their new film True Grit, and they're looking for a 12-16 year old girl to fill the main role of Mattie Ross. As you'll note on the casting specs, YOU MUST BE A 12-16 YEAR OLD GIRL. It doesn't count if you feel like a 12-16 year old girl on the inside, or like to feel 12-16 year old girls. You must actually BE ONE. Take heed.Get a bigger look at the casting sheet by clicking here.