News - Page 324

UPDATED: Sexy Kristen Stewart As Joan Jett
Saturday, December 20 by

[Editor's Note:  I am at my parents house for the holidays in South Texas. The only thing in the theatre that I had not see was Twilight, so I went. I was the only person in the theatre that had not just had her first period. Watching the movie made me change my stance on Kristen Stewart. Best, MAX POWERS.]Kristen Stewart is my kind of pretty. She's got the natural beauty thing on lockdown. I've basically been in love with her since Into the Wild, which I thought was great film. She was 9 types of sexy jailbait. It's a shame that Twilight was a movie I was not willing to touch with my worst enemy's eyeballs, even though Stewart was in it. I'm definitely willing to watch her play Joan Jett. That story and more in our news roundup.  the worst fucking actress in the entire world. Here's a few for the weekend.

William H Macy Is Not Ari Gold
Friday, December 19 by

Its was a big news story yesterday that Jeremy Piven was leaving the Broadway show Speed The Plow due to high mercury content in his blood. This made me think "Of course he has a high blood-mercurey content. Mercury was the God of WAR. He's ARI GOLD. His veins run not with normal vitreous fluid, but rather course with the mightiest quicksilver known to man."  And now the news today is that Piven will be replaced by…William H. Macy? Woah.

Bay and Bruckheimer Do ‘Cocaine’
Friday, December 19 by

Hollywood Reporter wrote today that Bay and Bruckheimer will be the execs on a new HBO series based on the documentary Cocaine Cowboys. I REALLY hope they go for one part Entourage, one part Scarface, and FOUR THOUSAND PARTS MICHAEL BAY (BOOM).  I posted on Cocaine Cowboy's II about five months back, the follow-up to the inspiration for the show. It also led me to compile a list of some of the best documentaries about the black market, a subject I am fascinated about. And now, some daily news.

The Television Goes on Vacation
Thursday, December 18 by

Thursdays are usually a big night for the TV. But what with the holidays and all, the nets are going with some tried and trusted content while shows take a break. And by tried and trusted I am referring to Total Recall. We also recommend Paul F. Thompkins on Conan (according to his Twitter feed the shoot went well). All that and more in tonight's TV lineup.

Link Dump
Thursday, December 18 by

Two sites for The Unborn, and new photos (Comingsoon)40 Inspirational Speeches in 2 minutes (Filmonic)Sci Fi Channel's Ghost Hunters continues to expand (BD)Alan Horn clears up

You Cant Make This Up: Buc’s DE Changes Name in Honor of ‘Teen Wolf’
Thursday, December 18 by

People, you can't make this stuff up:Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive end Greg White has officially changed his name from Gregory Alphonso White Jr. to Stylez G. White, the Tampa Bay Tribune reported on its Web site. The name, according to White, was inspired by the 1985 Michael J. Fox flick featuring some rather hairy on-court hoops action."That was his best friend's name," White said, according to the paper. "I always liked that name. It's not that I don't like Greg White." (from Fox Sports)American Dream: Attained. And now, the rest of your morning news roundup.

Give Me Your Badge And Gun
Thursday, December 18 by

From HOLY TACO. This is a great collection of the classic "Give Me Your Badge And Gun" scene which occurs in basically every cop movie or TV show. It's amazing that nobody ever mixes it up. Turn in your uniform, give me the keys to the shotgun locker, leave your special police radio and computer with Dolores in HR– none of that stuff. Just the badge and gun.

CNN Takes Reporting To New Level
Thursday, December 18 by

We're a TV site, but we don't really cover network news. There are just too many opportunities to skewer the constant flow of absurdity– the unending waterfalls of crap would just distract us from the other duties of Screenjunkies. But I just could not resist this amazing front page story that showed up on CNN this morning: Really? There's no good way to tell a kid they have cancer? I'd imagine there are some ways that are worse than others, such as: – Billy, you have cancer, and it's because you masturbate too much. – Billy, you have cancer and that's why mommy and daddy are getting a divorce. – Billy, you have cancer. Also, there is no Santa Claus. – Billy, isn't this roller coaster fun? Well enjoy it now because in three months you'll be so weak from 3 rounds of chemo you wont be able to lift an X-Box controller.   As always CNN, thanks for the hard hitting news. Now lets all watch this video. Wait till they spray the associate producer with cologne. Listen for his name.

Denis Leary Discusses Denis Leary Films
Thursday, December 18 by

This is a pretty great video. It's exactly what the title says, except that they talk about the crappy movies. I remember watching Operation Dumbo Drop in theaters and thinking it was basically the best film ever made. An elephant? On a plane? And you're going to drop it? Out of the plane? That's movie gold. 

Link Dump
Wednesday, December 17 by

Halle Berry goes slightly topless (Filmonic)Watch new Flight of the Conchords free (Filmdrunk)3 Worst things about roommates (Holytaco)8 Everyday words with X-rated origins (Cracked)Bill and Ted's Excellent

How Addicted Are You?
Wednesday, December 17 by

If there's one thing in life that Im kind of embarrassed about, it's my cankles or failing third grade (twice) or not being able to run a mile in under 14 minutes crappy knowledge of old movies. I write about movies all day long and still haven't seen some of the most important films ever made. Aside from a few Hitchcock flicks as a kid, my family just didn't watch the classics. Now I spend so much time trying to keep up with new releases it's just almost impossible to catch up. Slashfilm did a post about a ranking system created by Filmaddict that allows you to calculate how much of a movie addict you are. Find out your score.

Wednesday Night TV Treats
Wednesday, December 17 by

Tonight, the brilliant people at the CW air an encore of the Victoria Secret Fashion Show, the dudes at Timewarp slow down a Cirque du Soleil performance, and JCVD kicks some ass. Here's Your TV lineup. Prime Time TV Victoria Secret Fashion Show 8/7c on CW Heidi Klum Talking About Boobs – Watch more Free Videos

I Love You Man Trailer
Wednesday, December 17 by

I've heard good things about this flick from a friend who worked on it. It's tested really high in screenings. And it does raise an important issue. At a certain point in life, the time for dudes to make friends with new dudes is basically over. Let's call that point Age 26. By then you either have a group of bro's that you're pretty set on, or you're so involved with a girl that your balls will slowly slide back up into your abdomen where they started from when you were born. 

I Love You Man Trailer
Wednesday, December 17 by

I've heard good things about this flick from a friend who worked on it. It's tested really high in screenings. And it does raise an important issue. At a certain point in life, the time for dudes to make friends with new dudes is basically over. Let's call that point Age 26. By then you either have a group of bro's that you're pretty set on, or you're so involved with a girl that your balls will slowly slide back up into your abdomen where they started from when you were born. 

BREAKING NEWS: Clint Eastwood Is Old
Wednesday, December 17 by

"You can't stop everything from happening," Eastwood says. "But we've gotten to a point where we're certainly trying. If a car doesn't have 400 air bags in it, then it's no good."  These, among other things, were recently growled by the famous tough guy. Here are some more reasons why Eastwood believes that America is filled with total pussies. In an interview appearing in the January edition of Esquire, Clint recalls his days as a shy, depression era child, fighting bullies for scraps of food and relying on his own grit to get by. He wants to know what this modern fascination is with talking things over when we could all just punch each other until the problem is solved. He says the root of the problem is that people spend too much time worrying about the meaning of life, sitting around pondering things that just don't matter. He also notes that he doesn’t understand body piercing, that he wants his tapioca pudding, and that rock music is TOO loud. Huumph.

Bush Enters The Matrix
Tuesday, December 16 by

Listen, I don't care what  your stance is on either his domestic or international agenda. It's a time for the world to come together, and this is the first thing we can all agree on: George Bush is a president that can dodge the HELL out of a flying shoe. A different type of video evidence after the jump.

Bush Enters The Matrix
Tuesday, December 16 by

    What Really Happenend – Watch more free videos More CRAZY GEORGE BUSH MOMENTS, from The Junkies.

Jessica Alba To Guest Star On ‘The Office’
Tuesday, December 16 by

 NBC announced today that Jessica Alba will be guest starring along side Jack Black in the special post Super Bowl episode of The Office titled Stress Relief.  The two of them are reportedly going to be acting in a bootlegged Hollywood movie that the employees of Dunder Mifflin attempt to watch during the work day.  This reminds me of the time I worked at Cinnabon at the food court and the assistant manager and I tried to watch Gwyneth Paltrow and Jack Black in a bootleg copy of Shallow Hal. The thought of desert for breakfast still makes me puke a little.  

Tuesday Movie Night
Tuesday, December 16 by

All the channels are repeating old episodes, or switching into movie mode for the holidays. Here are some excellent movies on the toob tonight. Mission Impossible III   730/630c TNT Accepted 9/8c Comedy Central

Hot Goemon Teaser Vid
Tuesday, December 16 by

Director Kaz Kiriya offers his take on the Japanese legend of Goemon, a Robin Hood-like figure who robbed to the rich and gave to the poor before… well, why spoil the movie? Here's a teaser Vid:Check out the Break Trailer Page for More Hot Vids. Director: Kaz Kiriya Cast: Yosuke Eguchi, Takao Osawa, Ryoko Hirosue, Jun Kaname, Gori Genre: Action

Randy Couture Joins Cast of Stallone’s “The Expendables”
Tuesday, December 16 by

From CAGE POTATO. We reported last week on Dolph joining an all star ass kicking team in Stallone's The Expendables. Now Randy Couture has joined the party.  This addition to the cast has officially put them in the running for an Oscar in the categories of broken arms, one punch knock outs, roundhouses, and maybe even spinning pile drivers.  Click on the image above for the full story from our MMA expert friends at Cagepotato.com.

Carla Gugino To Play A Porn Star
Tuesday, December 16 by

It seems like more women in Hollywood are getting into roles as either porn stars or strippers. I guess times are tough. Last week it was Jessica Biel playing an artsy stripper. This week its Carla Gugino prepping to act our her the best fake DVDA scene that the Groundlings Acting Academy could ever prep you for.  According to Empire, "The film's a sequel to Women in Trouble, an ensemble comedy about a day in the lives of 10 LA women." HA! See! That proves my long held suspicion: One out of ten women in Los Angeles are in fact porn stars.  Carla Gugino to play a porn star (Empire) 

Link Dump
Monday, December 15 by

Jack Black to guest star on The Office (Comingsoon)Clint Eastwood in The Growler (Funnyordie)Brain-Numb-A-Thon (CHUD)Brad Pitt, Wes An

Monday Mashup: Milk The Wrestler
Monday, December 15 by

Milk The Wrestler. The story of America’s first openly gay WWE wrestler. He pinned his opponents inside the ring and married them outside. Except in California.

President To Face Monster Demon Attack
Monday, December 15 by

Every once in a while you see a real news report that looks like it's explaining a scene from a movie. I always thought it would be awesome to devote an entire night of news to covering the carnage that occurs in one film. Live Free or Die Hard would be a good one. It would take five full hours of uninterrupted coverage to detail the destroyed buildings, cabs launched into helicopters, and dead bystanders. 

Jennifer Love Hewitt Has Been Busy
Monday, December 15 by

According to the Hollywood Reporter, JLH has been busy. Among other projects, her newly bolstered production company has  been developing the Untitled Odessa Project, a movie for Lifetime based on a Texas Monthly article titled She Had Brains, a Body, and the Ability to Make Men Love Her. It recounts the true story of a 22-year-old housewife and former homecoming queen in Odessa who became one of the city's most popular hookers. She is also has a 10-book graphic novel series in the works with IDW comics entitled Jennifer Love Hewitt's The Music Box. That, among other items, may be found in our morning industry news.

Warm Yourself By the TV Tonight
Sunday, December 14 by

  It's a night for Heroes and Sarah Connor Chronicles. And Bravo stops airing programs aimed at menopausal women and shows Heat.  Prime Time TV   Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles- Monday 8/7c, on FOX

Hollywood’s Heating Up This Weekend
Friday, December 12 by

For Those Who Patron The Theatre Hollywood (finally) starts her engines for the Holiday run of big blockbuster films.

Link Dump
Friday, December 12 by

Odette Yustman takes on Rogue's Gallery (Comingsoon)

Legendary Betty Page Dies
Friday, December 12 by

Legendary pin-up model Betty Page died today at age of 85 from complications of a recent heart attack.  If you're like me you're pretty shocked by the news that Betty Page was still alive.