Richard Kelly enjoys the macbre and the mindf**k equally. He brings real emotion to his stories, but he also wants you to think…about what the hell is happening in his twisted narratives. And before you begrudgingly scream out "Southland Tales!" at your computer screen, let's just all take a deep breath and give him a pass on that one. And now all the people that liked Southland Tales are probably screaming at their computer screens, so you should also take a deep breath. We're all friends here.
Throughout his film career, director Roland Emmerich has laid waste to several landmarks and institutions — the White House (twice), the Pentagon, New York City, the Golden Gate Bridge, and John Cusack's credibility. In his new film 2012, he smashes and shakes historic sites across the globe to rubble. But we've finally found a building impervious to his computer-generated destruction. In an early draft of the script, Emmerich was planning to level the Kaaba, one of Islam's holiest sites. He pussied out when his cowriter mentioned that inclusion of the scene would more than likely lead to a fatwa on their heads (first of all, grow some balls and secondly, this movie had a writer?). Naturally the disaster-meister opted to eradicate the Vatican and a group of Buddhist monks instead. When asked whether he feared any kind of retaliation for the script change, Emmerich asked, "What are you gonna do about it, Buddhists? Huh? You gonna cry? Buddhists gonna cry? Huh? Huh? Huh?" (Cinema Blend)
Back To The Future Rap – Watch more Funny Videos If you having space/time problems I feel bad for you, son. I got 99 problems but a Biff ain't one. RELATED JUNK: Dope-ass Predator Rap Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if you don't click these links that he'd melt my brain. What Your Halloween Costume Really Said About You (HolyTaco) Massive Bulgarian Soccer Brawl (TotalProSports) Amercian Fatasses on Scooters (TheChive) Kurt Russell's Star Wars Audition (FilmDrunk) Darth Vader Conducts Icelandic Orchestra (SuperTremendous) 5 Worst Funniest Films Lists on YouTube (Pajiba) Megan Fox in a Tank Top and Daisy Dukes (CelebJihad) "Windows Sucks" YouTube Videos (Unreality) Craziest Movies Characters We'd Still Have Sex With (Asylum) Sarah De Herdt's Porn-ish Behavior (BustedCoverage) 5 Things You Learn After You Turn 21 (RegretfulMorning) How to Start Smoking Cigars (MadeMan) 50 Things More Exciting Than Sunday's Race (AllLeftTurns) Angry Families Rumble at Wedding (NothingToxic) Awkward Guy at the Orgy (Atom)
Things keep getting worse for producers of Terminator: Salvation. Between Christian Bale's blow up, McG's pissing contest with Michael Bay, and the controversy over Moon Bloodgood's handbra, they've received a ton of free press that they couldn't spin into box office gold. Now the Halcyon Holding Group has filed for bankruptcy and is ready to sell the franchise rights to the highest bidder. Apparently all the big studios are lining up to secure the rights. But why? The last two movies were pretty abysmal and The Sarah Connor Chronicles never found the audience it deserved. With Arnie indisposed and special effects breakthroughs having plateaued it's time to face the sad, cold truth. We as a people have to face the fact that killer robots are sooo over. Let us all begrudgingly tear down our Chopping Mall posters and set fire to our I, Robot theater-lobby standees. Today will usher in the age of the friendly (probably farting) robot. But honestly, is there any way to breathe life into Terminator? Preferably one that doesn't involve putting Peter Berg behind the camera? Let us know your thoughts. (The Financial Times)
Why? Why, why, why, why?! JJ Abrams, you had a chance to put the amazingly buxom Diora Baird in a tastefully revealing bra and panties and you decided to NOT put Diora Baird in said lingerie. Do you need to replace the lenses in those stylish black frames of yours? The woman is a ten and you decided to go with a woman who is not Diora Baird:For shaaaaaaaame. Chris Pine and Diora might have had amazing chemistry, but now we'll never know because a robot could have played the role below. Hmmmm a robot Diora Baird… Now there's something that shouldn't have creeped into my imagination. [Topless Robot]
Thanks to the folks at Bloody Disgusting, we get a sneak peak at George Romero's latest attempt to breathe more life into the zombie horror genre (pun blatantly intended). There's everything you'd expect in the trailer below: zombies, humans, guns, brains, stilted dialogue. We don't watch these films for the breakthrough performances though, we watch them because we feel compelled to on the off chance that something blows our brains out of our skull (oh man the puns are so goooood)! Check out the trailer below and let us know what you think. Is Survival of the Dead going to be better than Land of the Dead?
You probably best recogonize Rebecca Mader from her role as Charlotte in LOST, but this Friday she'll be starring opposite The Clooney in Men Who Stare At Goats. There's not doubt that she stands out in a crowd with those long flowing locks of red hair. It must have been so much fun growing up with red hair like that.A word from Rebecca: "Growing up with red hair is not fun."Eeeeeeeee… Don't I have egg on MY face. Well growing up as brunette sometimes isn't fun either. All the kids at my school, Red Headed Kids Only Elementary, always picked on me.See more stellar examples of red headed adulthood after the jump.
"I've given you sunlight… I've given you rain…"Michael Jackson's concert film This Is It predictably topped the box office this weekend given that it had zero competition. However the $20mil domestic take was lower than expected. The low number has prompted nervous filmmakers to expand the film's two week limited run until past Thanksgiving. You see? This is what happens when your star refuses to promote the film in any way, shape, or form. (Reuters)
While talking to Robert Zemeckis about his upcoming film A Christmas Carol, MTV slipped in a question about a Who Framed Roger Rabbit? sequel, and it appears one is in the works. Sure, one's been in the works for two decades now, but now one is really in the works, and with the original writers. Check out what Zemeckis had to say below.
The Overlook Hotel plays host to many spirits, including Steve, the drunk Tennessee Titans season ticket holder. Have a happy Halloweekend with these spooktacular links (and don't forget to turn your clocks back tomorrow):5 Dates That Shouldn't End in Foreplay (RegretfulMorning)Halloween Bingo Card (HolyTaco)Sexy Biljana Biba Table Tennis Player (TotalProSports)Disturbing Sports Injuries (TheChive)Gary Busey Plays the Sax (FilmDrunk)15 Greatest Pro Athlete Candy Bars (SuperTremendous)6 Horror Movies for the Weak (Pajiba)Chris Brown's Shocking Halloween Costume (CelebJihad)10 Hilarious Clips from It's Always Sunny (Unreality)TV's Hottest Ghost-busters (Asylum)Erin Andrews Hot Assistant (BustedCoverage)Build a Celebrity Man Cave (MadeMan)McGrew Earnhardt's Crew Chief in 2010 (AllLeftTurns)Daytime Italian Mafia Assassination (NothingToxic)Zombie Hunting this Halloween? USE THIS! (Not Zombies!)Editor's Halloween Pics (Atom)
The Internet cried foul this past summer when Moon Bloodgood's topless scene was cut from the theatrical version of Terminator: Salvation (UK Title: Terminator: Sorry Chaps, No Titties). Now with the upcoming December 1st release of the unrated Director's Cut DVD, a clip of the scene has found it's way online. And as you can see from the video the result is underwhelming. Hard to believe that Warner's would have to cut this in order to get the PG-13 rating. I could understand if there were a lurid trampoline sequence but this is hardly anything. Then again, I'm pretty desensitized. That's right. I've heard DOZENS of stories about what boobs look like and someday I hope to see some for myself. Some day. (**single sad tear rolls down cheek**)
If you'd like to know absolutely nothing about what's happening on the next and final season of LOST then watch the teaser trailer below. It'll give you so much of nothing that you'll be begging for more nothing. According to E! Online: I’m hearing from Lost sources that every single shot of the first few episodes are so revealing that the producers have convinced ABC to NOT SHOW A SINGLE FRAME before the new season airs. No promo scenes, no photos, no nada! So you will be completely in the dark, but it is for good reason: The twists they’re planning are so good, you will WANT to be surprised. Trust me. Your mind gonna go kaplewey. Alright, if the lack of information and footage is because they're readying a twist that's going to turn my world inside out than I'll wait semi-patiently. But if Jenna from 30 Rock from last night has the inside scoop, than apparently the whole thing is Hurley's dream. Watch the teaser after the jump.
You may better know Tiffani Thiessen as Kelly Kapowski, Zack Morris' Polish, frizzy-haired main squeeze on Saved By The Bell, that is until that slut Stacey Carosi came into the picture. Well now she's all grown up, taking sexy photographs to break free from her innocent image, and starring in White Collar, a fantastic new drama on USA. Seriously, watch it. For Tiffani and for your entertainment.A word from Tiffani: "I learned how to smoke from Mark-Paul Gosselaar on Saved by the Bell. He's the one who taught me, and we smoked together"Tisk, tisk, Zack Morris. How did you expect Tiffani to resist your charm and stonewashed jeans when you peer pressured her into smoking with you? You'd think someone who narrated their life to an outside audience would know better.Come on, just try the pics after the jump, they won't hurt you, we promise.
A teenager is cast in the Mercury Theatre production of "Julius Caesar" directed by a young Orson Welles in 1937
He's played a cannibal, a president, an author, an Englishman, and even a black dude. Now, Sir Anthony Hopkins is in talks to play a Norse Allfather in Kenneth Branagh's Thor. Hopkins is said to be for the role of Odin, father to Thor and his evil adopted brother Loki. We can't think of a better candidate to play the ruler of Asgard. Hopkins has the perfect mix of Gandalf, Santa, and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin needed to pull the role off. (Empire)
Avatar Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos Literally five minutes after we posted the international trailer for Avatar, Yahoo went and posted the domestic one in HD like a bunch of cocky biatches. I apologize for the name calling, Yahoo. You are not cocky biatches… I'm just a lazy biatch. If you like versions of trailers that are sharper, louder, and have less Elvish subtitles in them, than you're sure to prefer this one over the grainy one the foreigners have to watch. And don't you dare call me xenophobic. In Pandora, the blue cat Rastafarians think of xenophobia as a synonym for love. Ride these links like a hybrid pterodactyl dragon! Letters to Annoying People on Halloween (HolyTaco) Yankees Fan and His Crazy Motorized Wheelchair (TotalProSports) You Can Order This Hot Bride Online (TheChive) Marty Krofft is Puffin' Stuff (FilmDrunk) Kitten Eats with Chopsticks (SuperTremendous) Ten Most Badass Jesuses (Pajiba) Kanye West Interrupts Taylor Swift Being a Nazi (CelebJihad) What Disney Taught Us Growing Up (Unreality) Sasha Grey is Wonder Woman for Halloween (Asylum) Susan Was Just Jerkin' Around About Sex for Tickets (BustedCoverage) 25 NSFW Vampire Babes (RegretfulMorning) The Art of Fantasy Football (MadeMan) Kyle Busch is a Bitch Costume (AllLeftTurns)
Yo, yo, yo. You about to get punched in the face with the hottest new track outta Scranton, PA! The new banger from girl pop band Subtle Sexuality (aka Kelly Kapoor and Erin Hannon) has just dropped and it's what the streets has been crying for. You can bump the jam below and check out more on they official website. Ya heaaaaaaard.
Who knew Tony Scott had it in him. According to Variety, Scott has taken a liking to Chippendales, the formal male strippers in bowties, cufflinks, and, a must for any fancy event, leather pants.With a tone similar to the Scott-directed "True Romance," pic will follow the improbable rise and fall of Chippendales creator Steve Banerjee, who went from pumping gas in Culver City to running a high-end nightclub that evolved into Chippendales. After hiring a New York choreographer to polish the all-male dance troupe, Banerjee became wildly rich, as well as unreasonably competitive and paranoid. Banerjee hired a hitman to murder the choreographer when negotiations went sour. After being arrested, Banerjee died in jail awaiting trial.Now that's a Cinderella story if I've ever heard one. Minus the contract killing and all-male dance troupe. In regard to casting, no actors are attached yet, but there's gotta be a part in there somewhere for Denzel Washington. I could show you a photoshopped picture now of Denzel's head on a Chippendale's body, but I'm not gonna 'cause you want it too much.
A blast from the past! A middle school fascination. A reason to "borrow" periodicals from the local Walgreens. Kathy Ireland used to be the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition it girl, and now she dances the mambo on television for charity dollars. Let's hope that money goes to the kids whose fingers bleed as they sew together the items in the Kathy Ireland Worldwide Catalogue.A word from Kathy: "At the moment of conception, life starts."I'm not touching that one with a ten foot pole…Here are some Pro-Licious pics after the jump!
Last night on his late night show, Jimmy Fallon welcomed famed WWF wrestler Hulk Hogan and pop song parody master Weird Al Yankovic. As proof we're not lying, watch Weird Al sing his classic Good Old Days:
The hit British paranormal dramedy Being Human has been picked up for a second season by BBC One. In addition, Syfy has picked up the project and plans to create an American version. For those unfamiliar with the series it tells the story of three twentysomething roommates — one a werewolf, one a vampire, and the third a ghost — and finds out what happens when they stop being polite and start getting real.No writer has been attached but Syfy prez David Howe stressed that Syfy does not intend to "slavishly replicate the British version." Which is showbiz-speak for "We're making a supernatural version of Big Bang Theory." (THR)
Invictus Trailer – Watch more Funny VideosThe trailer for the latest Clint Eastwood joint Invictus popped up online today. The inspirational true story stars Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela as he tries to unite his racially-separated country by rallying South Africa's underdog rugby team to make a run at the World Cup. Hold on. Morgan Freeman has acted in films for 45 years and he's only NOW playing Nelson Mandela??? How is that possible? That's the role that he and Rose from LOST were born to play.Treat all these links equally… Douchebags of the United States (HolyTaco) Andre Agassi Admits He Used Meth (TotalProSports) Sexy Coeds of the University of Stockholm (TheChive) Sandra Bullock Trying To Steal Poor People's Kids (FilmDrunk) 15 Celebrity Halloween Costume Suggestions (SuperTremendous) Sci Fi Disappointments for $200 (Pajiba) Taylor Swift Parties with Nazis (CelebJihad) Light Sabers Make Everything Cooler (Unreality) The Complete Man Code to Hitting People (Asylum) Yankees-Phillies CraigsList Sex Fiend Amped for Series (BustedCoverage) 7 Semi-Retarded Ads for Your Penis (RegretfulMorning) Natural Hangover Cures (MadeMan) Talladega Crash Videos (AllLeftTurns) Construction Worker Has Fatal Accident (NothingToxic) Intercourse with a Vampire (Atom)
Peace indeed, Corey Feldman. He's getting the big peace out from his Playboy model wife, Susannah Feldman, who just filed for divorce from the childhood actor/adult reality TV star. According to Zimbio:Susannah's flame for Corey was apparently sparked at a young age. She has been quoted as saying, ""I knew I would marry Corey ever since I saw Stand By Me." According to Screen Junkies' unsubstantiated gossip, the official reason for divorce on the document:He's Corey Feldman.We've also heard reports that Susannah was tired of Corey Haim sleeping on their living room couch. Two Coreys is apparently just too much. I know because I've accidently flipped past The Two Coreys.
HBO's True Blood is prepping for its third season and it seems that creator Alan Ball is looking to bring some more batsh*t characters to Bon Temps. Michael Aussiello at EW posted the official show casting notice. Sorry fellas, looks like next season is going to be an undead sausage party. Check out a rundown of the cast-to-be: Tommy Mickens – Sam's long-lost brotherTalbot – a sarcastic vampire named after a shoe storeJesus Valasquez – "an unordinary orderly with a heart to match his good looks"Franklin Mott – a vampire that befriends TaraCoot – leader of the rednecksJen and Missy – two college girls looking to partyYvetta – a Czech stripper with designs on EricReverand Daniels – a holy man who is going to bang the crazy out of Tara's mom We'd like to make a suggestion for the casting of unordinary orderly Jesus Valasquez: Dun dun duuuuuuuuuunh!
Who gives a twirling sh*t if Joanna Krupa can dance? I certainly don't. Hey ABC, get a pole up on that stage and watch your ratings skyrocket. Joanna is one of the sexiest woman alive, which is clearly evident by the aurora borealis of "daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!" above. No tap shoes required. A word from Joanna: "I get so sick of wearing lingerie for shoots that I don’t even go to Victoria’s Secret" Lingerie is overrated anyway. Nothing always works. Or bath bubbles. Personally, I prefer the Robocop brand of liquid suds. You have ten seconds to comply with the pics after the jump.
The NFL. Sure, it has its merits. But up until a short while ago, it was still a passive experience. Then along comes Fantasy Football. And, lo and behold, with it came a reason to tune into every single NFL game from every week, because the outcome of every play meant – and probably still means – the possibility of whipping shit on your friend for your obvious superiority in selecting the most chemically perfect formula of football players who are clearly executing the specific plan that you personally have designed for them. It's like rocket science… but with heart and concussions.
Dudes, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but the final season of Lost is going to be c-blocked by the Winter Olympics. Also your mom and I are taking things to the next level.According to Carlton Cuse, Lost will take a break after the first few episodes while NBC airs the Winter Games. The show is expected to return in March.This news comes as a total bummer but on the brightside we won't care much anymore come March. We can get through this together, you guys. (IGN)
Before I Self Destruct Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos 50 Cent can now rightfully don an askew director's cap as he has just released the trailer for his directorial debut Before I Self Destruct. Curtis Jackson aka Fitty aka Mr. Ferrari also stars in the low budget flick where he shows off his acting range (For instance, in some scenes he holds a gun and in others he does not). Beyond that it just seems like inaudible mumbling. And if 50 Cent's albums are any indication, inaudible mumbling sells like hotcakes. The cops is at your Nana's house. Hide out with these links… 10 People That Will Definitely Be On Your Next Flight (HolyTaco) 20 Gruesome Sports Injuries (TotalProSports) Where The Wild Things Are Girl Revealed! (TheChive) Pulp Fiction Sound FX Mashup Is Legit (FilmDrunk) 10 Great Movies You'll Never Watch Again (Pajiba) Amy Winehouse Needs To Mind Her New Breasts (CelebJihad) 15 Zombie Road Signs (Unreality) How To Make Your Own Beer Pong Table (Asylum) Proof That MLS Fans Are Pussies (BustedCoverage) Tribute To Girls In Referee Outfits (RegretfulMorning) Is She Playing Hard To Get? (MadeMan) Win $200 In NASCAR Halloween Costume Contest (AllLeftTurns)
Paranormal Activity is an undoubted success. It cost $11,000 to make and has raked in over $62 million at the box office. I don't have a calculator on hand but when you do the math the profits equal a f*ckload. Of course a sequel is being talked about but more importantly the attention has warranted a pornographic knock-off. Or knockers-off, in this case:Dread Central has alerted us to Jim Wynorski's Para-Knocker's Activity. Yes, the Spielberg of Boob Cinema is taking on the ghost genre and giving it a kinky edge. Filming is slated to begin right after Halloween (presumably because Halloween props will be marked down). Look for it this Spring at the Cans Film Festival.