Based off Hollywood's new obsession with optioning everything that has ever existed, I automatically assumed that the classic video game Space Invaders was making its way to the big screen. Thankfully I made an ass out of "me" and "umption." Tropic Thunder and Iron Man 2 scribe Justin Theroux has been brought onboard to rewrite and possibly direct the Will Arnett-vehicle Space Invader. The movie tells the story of a space shuttle janitor who flies to the International Space Station to cock-block a hunky astronaut who has designs on his astronaut girlfriend.Never thought I'd see the day that I was thankful for a Harland Williams retread but with standards as low as they are these days, beggars can't be choosers.
Paramount Home Entertainment put on a huge bash at L.A.'s Griffith Observatory to celebrate the release of Star Trek on DVD and Blu-ray and Screen Junkies caught up with J.J. Abrams on the black carpet. When asked if he would return for another impossible mission with Tom Cruise, Abrams indicated that he will serve as producer but has another film he's helming that will interfere with him directing another Mission: Impossible.“The one I’m directing hopefully next year, I’m just in the early stages of that or middle of that, which is probably going to preclude my availability for doing Mission,” Abrams said. “Although I so love what the script is, what the story is. Josh Appelbaum and Andre Nemec are writing a script and they’re doing an amazing job so I’m already sort of envious of whoever ends up directing that movie.”Don't feel too bad J.J.. I'm sure there are people out there that are jealous of Felicity. Somewhere.
This public access show out of Austin, TX was intended as an instructional video for non-English speakers. I speak English and find it confusing. And why is there a drunk man in his house?I link you to these links so you can be linked. 7 Untelevised Football Sideline Moments (HolyTaco) How To Destroy A National Anthem (TotalProSports) Jackasses Who Shave Their Eyebrows (TheChive) Twilight Fans Love Signs (FilmDrunk) 25 Funniest Kitten Photos (SuperTremendous) Movies about "The Last…" (Pajiba) What if Celebrities Were Fat (CelebJihad) Hooters Dad Goes Bust (Asylum) Sammy Sosa's Face Celebrates Birthday (BustedCoverage) Russian Guy Destroyed by Seesaw (RegretfulMorning) Foods That Slow Aging (MadeMan) Paul Medard, Your Destiny Awaits (AllLeftTurns)
Jeff Bridges may soon be able to wipe away the stigma of "Four Time Academy Award NOMINEE" from his title and add the coveted "Academy Award Winner." The trailer for Crazy Heart gives him a role as strong as Mickey Rourke's in The Wrestler, but replaces bright spandex with a good 'ol fashioned gee-tar. The Dude plays Bad Blake, a broke down country music singer looking to find salvation with the help of a journalist (instead of stripper this time) played by I-look-like-a-sad-turtle Maggie Gyllenhaal. As Blake and the turtle struggle down the road of redemption, they learn profound things about each other and themselves, and it changes their perception of the future. Basically.Check out the trailer after the jump.
7 Untelevised Football Sideline Moments (HolyTaco)How To Destroy A National Anthem (TotalProSports)Jackasses Who Shave Their Eyebrows (TheChive)Twilight Fans Love Signs (FilmDrunk)25 Funniest Kitten Photos (SuperTremendous)
A&E has just shook hands with the Devil and hired Bob Saget to host the show Bob Saget's Strange Days (working title). In the reality series, Saget will travel the country exploring strange American subcultures. Detroit isn't yet on the docket…But everything from mail order brides to a survivalist cult prepping for the end of the world is fair game. There's also mention of visiting a fraternity, which in the scheme of things doesn't seem all that interesting, but you know how Bob likes himself some young ladies. I bet he'll drink those frat boys under the table and then stick it to all their sorority girlfriends. You go, Danny Tanner. You go. (THR)
I turned out to be right when I reported last week that Rachel McAdams was definitely cast as Black Cat in Spider-Man 4 maybe. Today comes word from the actress that it is nothing more than an Internet rumor:“That’s a total rumor, I have to say,” the actress, who will next be seen in the Dec. 25 action-adventure tentpole Sherlock Holmes, tells EW. “I was hanging out in Toronto the other day and someone came up to me and said, ‘I just heard you’re doing Spider-Man 4.' And I said, ‘Really? No one told me!’ It’s not true.” A rep for Sony Pictures concurs: “It’s an Internet rumor, as so many things are these days.”See? So I was totally right possibly. But wait! There's more vague rumors surrounding the picture. A casting call for an adorable red-headed toddler went out yesterday leading many to speculate that Mary Jane Watson will be a mommy in the sequel. Whether the kid has any relation to Peter Parker remains to be seen. Casting will be difficult. They want a child who has both red hair and is adorable? Good luck dudes.(Entertainment Weekly)
Noot. Hehehe. What a silly name. It works in Aliens, but makes me giggle in the real world. Noot (hehehe, stop it!) is another model turned actress, and she's busting her career wide open by playing Heidi in New Moon. We'll see if she's got the goods, in an acting sense, by her ability to deliver more than a pouty expression.A word from Noot: "I think there’s something about flying that heightens emotion, because I was literally crying the whole way through each of those books."Of course flying heightens emotions. That's why (I've heard) sex in an airplane bathroom totally rocks. So put down your damn tween novel and go join the Mile High Club. Earns your wings by checking out more pics after the jump.
Demonic Toys 2: Personal Demons Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos Finally the trailer for the sequel to Demonic Toys has hit! The footage for Demonic Toys 2: Personal Demons puts Avatar to shame. Who needs blue mutant cat people when you've got the dynamic duo of zombie baby and psycho jack in the box clown? James Cameron, hang your head in shame.Synopsis:
Period drama director Joe Wright is tucking away his Jane Austen boner for his next project. Focus Features is in talks with Wright to have him helm Hanna: an action-adventure-thriller that centers around a teenage assassin.Hanna is a 14 year-old Eastern European girl who was bred by the CIA to be a cold-blooded killer. After befriending a French family, she must fight to escape her grim destiny. Pffft. Teenagers. They have zero work ethic. "You are not going to the mall until you garrote the Prime Minister of Chechnya, young lady." (First Showing)
Bitch Slap is Quentin Tarantino's wet dream. It's a post-modern, thinking man’s throwback to the “B” Movie/Exploitation films of the 1950’s – 70’s, as well as a loving, sly parody of the same. Basically there are breasts, bombs, and bullets. Need more? Then get out of my house. Check out the trailer. Bitch Slap Trailer – Watch more Movie TrailersThen bitch slap these links. What Your Haircut Really Says About You (HolyTaco) Elizabeth Lambert is Looking for a Date (TotalProSports) Ed Hardy D-Bags (TheChive) Best Nickelback Cover of All Time (FilmDrunk) 15 Amazing Two-Headed Animals (SuperTremendous) Greatest Villains Portrayed by Comedians (Pajiba) Carrie Prejean Has a Whole Lotta Sex Tapes (CelebJihad) 10 Kick Ass Video Game Clowns (Unreality) Viagra Desserts are Delicious (Asylum) Jets-Raiders Chick Fight Because of the Face Kick (BustedCoverage) Japanese Blowup Doll Wrestling (RegretfulMorning) The Physics of Superheroes (MadeMan) Stewart Calls Earnhardt 'No Talent S.O.B.' (AllLeftTurns) Jamaican Catfight (NothingToxic) Intercourse with a Vampire (Atom)
Watch out, it's a trite storyline!Courtney Cox (it pains me to type it) Arquette is definitely going to be in the Scream 4 sequel directed by Wes Craven, and she's definitely certain it's going to be about the characters we know from the other movies."There are really only a few of us that survived," Cox said, but she shrugged off rumors that her character, Gale Weathers, and Arquette's Dwight "Dewey" Riley will be killed off at the beginning of the film."They're probably back living in Woodsboro," Cox added, "I think that he's probably still deputy, and I've had a lot of kids. I don't know. I'm probably miserable, and then I'm sure a lot of murdering will happen."Sorry I didn't warn you about the spoilers. Murdering is going to happen, and Gale Weathers may or may not have a lot of kids. And David Arquette may still be retarded. It remains to be seen what they'll do with his character Dewey. ZING! (ComingSoon)
Nadine Velazquez is probably most recognizable for her role as Catalina, the motel maid, on My Name is Earl. Now she plays Sophia on The League, where her character's breasts are too big after just having a child. Buuuuuuh. You can see her fondling them in episode 2. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. A word from Nadine: "I wake up with stripper boots on sometimes."That probably means you went to bed with stripper boots on… Which means you were probably stripping the night before… I used my powers of deduction to surmise that you dance naked! What club, please? Nadine's got those "stripper eyes" in the pics after the jump.
Why in God's name did they make Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans? It's not as if there's a huge fan base clamoring for a follow up to the original Bad Lieutenant. And fans of the original aren't exactly going to be thrilled to see their cult classic re-imaged as a Nicolas Cage vehicle. While we're at it, let's make Harold and Maude: Miami Heat or Eraserhead: Surreal in Sacramento. Even the director, Werner Herzog, wanted to change the title. After all, when you're making a movie about a crooked cop, you probably don't need a marketing ploy. Many films depicting good cops gone bad have gone on to become classics. Here are 10 of the greatest "dirty cop" films of all time. Dirty Harry – The Dirty Harry Series
The producers of Couples Retreat are coming under criticism for the UK version of the film's poster. Have a look at the above side-by-side comparison and you'll notice that Faizon Love and and Kali Hawk (the only black characters) have disappeared a la Marty McFly's siblings.The Daily Mail spoke with the studio and received this explanation:The studio said it regretted causing offence and has abandoned plans to use the revised poster in other countries… A Universal spokesman said the revised advert aimed ‘to simplify the poster to actors who are most recognisable in international markets’.Makes sense to me. Not everyone is as familiar with Who's Your Caddy? as I am. However I'm not convinced that this edit isn't fulfilling a racist agenda. Have a look at the below comparison of the US and the UK versions of The Original Kings Of Comedy poster. Racialists!! (Daily Mail)
Wilford Brimley, warm up your golden pipes. In 2007, Working Title bought the rights to the documentary Young@Heart. It tells the tale of an elderly choir who sing hits by newfangled rocking and rolling groups like The Clash, Coldplay, and the Ramones. Now, Will Reiser (writer of the upcoming I'm With Cancer) has been hired to pen a narrative remake of the doc. You can check out the trailer for the documentary below. I'll save you some time by describing it in two words: Oldz Bop. (THR)
The Broken Lizard guys are looking to pin their badges back on and hit the highway again. According to Jay Chandrasehkar, the leader of the pack,"We have the financing, so we're going to try to make a deal with Fox." Steve Lemme adds that they're "three drafts into it" and that they're much better off going to a studio with financing already setup. "It's a great thing to go to a studio and say, 'We have the money.'"Money is definitely a good thing. It helps the whole movie making process move more quickly. But Broken Lizard has had quite a few bombs lately, so we'll see if this project actually comes to fruition. If it does though, Brian Cox will be back whipping the wily officers into shape, and probably drinking while doing it. (FirstShowing)
Even though it was an inferior model, ED208 refused to let his successor triumph alone. Don't give up on these weekend links.Weekend in Vegas Bingo (HolyTaco) Charles Barkley Wears Whiteface Like Sosa (TotalProSports) D-bag Contest in South Beach (TheChive) Context-Free 2012 Pic of the Day (FilmDrunk) 25 Worst Celebrity Wax Figures (SuperTremendous) 100 Greatest Quotes from The Wire (Pajiba) Video: Carrie Prejean's Sex Tape Leaked (CelebJihad) Street Fighter Snuggie Rules (Unreality) Scientists Working on Invisibility Cloak (Asylum) Hot Cheerleaders with Big Mouth Bass (BustedCoverage) Ninja Cat Returns! (RegretfulMorning) Overcome Friday the 13th Phobia (MadeMan) Phoenix Crash Videos (AllLeftTurns) Hot Wasted College Girl Pisses Herself Then Disrobes (NothingToxic) How to Prevent Mistakes (Atom)
It's Friday the 13th. We had to show you something scary.If you were under the impression that director and Bagel Bites Eating Champ Brett Ratner is a talentless hack, you've got it all wrong. Not only has he directed some of the biggest movies of all time, but he'd also make for a great leading man. Don't believe me? Check out the hilariously creepy Ratner Films. I think you'll come 'round to my side of the fence.Oh yes, the me being pantless thing? Sorry about that. I don't get a lot of visitors on this side of the fence.
MTV caught up with Kevin Williamson to discuss one of his many projects. The busy writer talked about his update of Curtis Hanson's The Bedroom Window (which he is slated to make between Scream 4 and 5). The original The Bedroom Window was based on the book The Witnesses by Anne Holden. In Williamson's version, a man is sleeping with his boss's wife. One night after a little bump and grind, she witnesses a murder outside his bedroom window. Because their relationship has to be kept on low, the man steps in and acts as a witness to the murder. Soon the killer is on his tail. Sounds sexy and suspenseful but there's only one man who can handle this kind of drama. Paging R. Kelly. (MTV)
Forget about all the other stuff Marley Shelton has done, most importantly she was the hot lifeguard Wendy Peffercorn in the awesome movie The Sandlot. That film taught me to NEVER hit a ball over into James Earl Jones' yard. He'll rape you, kill you, and bury you in the crawl space in his basement. Wait, that's the The Sandlot, right? A word from Marley: "See how fast my friends work…….you'll never see me again……"Marley must hang out with a rogue band of sorcerers and magicians. That's a rough group, let me tell you. I never messed with those guys in high school. Their lunch table always smelt like burnt hair.I bet Marley smells like roses in the pics after the jump.
We're making money right now. Hahahaha! Adam Sandler and the rest of his friends are starring in the movie Grown Ups, adapted from a Dockers commercial. I'm sure a lot will get lost in translation though, like the humor, so we'll have to watch a bunch of formerly hilarious comedians fishing instead of personable model-types. In all honesty though, why the hell wouldn't this group make this movie? They're guaranteed sh*tloads of benjamins, and they get to hang out, laugh, and swing from ropes all day. Sure, Chris Farley is throwing a tantrum in heaven over the sight of Kevin James playing a role clearly intended for him, but I think we all know digitally placing him in the film wouldn't have worked out any better. The ground breaking concept of Grown Ups is about five good friends reuniting for a Fourth of July holiday weekend thirty years after their high school graduation. No, it's not The Big Chill. I know, but no. Check out the teaser trailer after the jump.
Director: Dennis DuganCast: Adam Sandler, Selma Hayek, David Spade, Chris Rock, Kevin James, Rob SchneiderSynopsis: Thirty years after their high school graduation, five good friends reunite for a Fourth of July holiday weekend.
Hollywood has made a habit of remaking foreign horror films these last few years. Studios have searched the corners of the globe to make movies such as The Ring, Quarantine, and Let Me In. But there is one nation that has been left unexplored — Canada. I've stumbled upon the trailer for a Canadian horror film so ghastly and terrifying that it will make you LOSE. YOUR. MIND. There's no release date yet for this northern gem but I'm sure it's going to be packed full of either sh*t or danger. My gut is tellin' me danger. In honor of today being Friday the 13th, I present Sexman VS. Jason Part 2. Make sure you watch all the way to the end.
Back in September, Sylvester Stallone announced that he'd be going toe-to-toe with a were-beast super soldier hybrid in the fifth Rambo film. Fan reaction was not so good. In fact, Stallone wrote this impassioned letter in defense of this departure in creative direction. Well all that doesn't matter now because Stallone is taking the cheaper way out and hiring Mexican day laborers to play the heavies in the film.Addressing fans at StalloneZone, the actor said:"To all the loyal SZoners out there,I'm letting you know that Rambo has changed course and the story about hunting the man/beast will be done using another character in the lead. RAMBO himself will be heading over the border to a violent city where many young women have vanished.There will be blood.""There will be blood." Haha. I think it's cute when old people use the Internet. (StalloneZone)
Million Dollar Baby in 5 Seconds – Watch more Funny VideosThe guys at Holy Taco shared this with me, and it's so damn funny I had to post it as well. If you know how the movie ends, watch it. If you don't know how the movie ends, watch it. You'll giggle and probably tinkle in your pants a little.Train your index finger by clicking on these links. Flowchart to Determine If You Should Fap To It (HolyTaco) Macho Man Randy Savage Interviews (TotalProSports) Barcode Art That Actually Works (TheChive) 10 Funniest Movie Marquee Mistakes of All Time (SuperTremendous) Iguanas & Breakdancing: The Bad Lieutenant Review (FilmDrunk) 10 Boneheaded Hollywood Projects in Development (Pajiba) Britney Spears Admits to Worshiping the Devil (CelebJihad) 50 Worst Acted One-Liners in Video Game History (Unreality) What Actor Do You Hate the Most? (Asylum) Brooke Hundley Cries Like a Little C-Word (BustedCoverage) Hot Girl Vs. Hardwood Floor (RegretfulMorning) Adventure Sports That Take You Places (MadeMan) Earnhardt Jr. at Country Music Awards (AllLeftTurns)
Honka. Honka.Crazy landmark-destruction fetishist Roland Emmerich wants to return to his earlier hit Independence Day for not one, but TWO sequels. So that's at least $24 I'll be saving by staying the f*ck home.Emmerich tells MTV that they don't have a script but they do have an idea. But it's really two ideas because they want the story to be told over the course of two really bad movies. And of course he wants to title them both ID4-Ever. Though he wasn't forthcoming with plot details (who needs one really?), let's put on our retard caps and try to figure it out for ourselves. Here's the entire films in a nutshell.WILL SMITH: "Hey! You Independence Day aliens quit blowing up the White House. We just rebuilt it. That's a direct order from President Will Smith!! Cuz I'm President now!!! Aw hell naw!!! You're not half as friendly as the Scientology aliens!"(MTV)
Dane Cook has raised a big question mark in the world of Batman. In case you were wondering, he wouldn't mind being The Riddler in the next caped crusader movie. Talking to MTV, Cook said, “I love the new Dark Knight series and Batman Begins. If they brought back The Riddler—a new Riddler the way they did with The Joker—that would be bad-ass. I would do that." Really, you'd accept that roll, Dane Cook? They wouldn't have to twist your arm until you scream out, "Why does twisting someone's arm hurt so much?! They're all like Eeeeeeeeeee, that hurts! And you're like (maniacal cackle) HAHAHAAHAHAHA! I'm gonna twist your arm!" When asked about what kind of Riddler he would be, he stated that he thought he could do something like The Crow but “still comedic.” With a comparison like that, he's leaving himself open to a lot of jokes from bloggers. For example, someone could say, "Why don't you make like The Crow and accidently get shot in the face." I'M not saying that, but someone could. (CinemaBlend)
I thought this was a Halloween photo but no one else is dressed up. Fellas, at first you'll be pissed when your girlfriend series records MTV's Jersey Shore on your DVR (which she will undoubtedly do). Don't be. The show is AMAZING. I was lucky enough to catch the first episode and I can say that it has actually improved my life. It gave me the greatest gift of all. The gift of feeling superior to total strangers. Does it feature stereotypes? Sure. Is it trashy? Uh-huh. Are there stained pits? Undoubtedly. Do they have a duck-shaped telephone? They do. It's unintentional comedy at its finest with the punchlines polished an unsettling shade of fake tan. Easily the best show that MTV has ever aired. Tune in December 3rd. Your life will thank you.