Content Removed By Request.
Perez Hilton's blog posted this photo of Lana (née Larry) Wachowski, of The Matrix and Speed Racer Wachowskis, leaving Los Angeles International airport recently. It's kinda nuts just how NOT horribly wrong Larry/Lana's surgery actually has turned out. He just looks like… well… if the Wachowskis had a sister. Which Andy has now.It's a lot more convincing than the time Sylvester Stallone became Sylvia Stallone.
Gear up in your yellow tights and grab your utility belt, the Heroes season 3 finale is tonight, and why not invite some of your comic book crazy friends over to send off the show in style? Also, tonight is notable for a Jack Bauer interrogation with a post heart attack, bed ridden Jonas Hodges (Jon Voight), the evil CEO of StarkWood Corp. Sure hope Bauer doesn't seizure up while he's squeezing the truth of Hodges. Your preview after the break.
Sony Classics' Mike Tyson documentary simply dubbed, Tyson, opened this past Friday and had a strong per screen average of $25,890 opening day*, more than quintupling the per-screen average of its cat-fighting counterpart, Obsessed, and figuratively punching Beyoncé right in the uterus, Robin Givens-style. Our friends at Holy Taco have posted an op-ed piece from The New York Times written by Mike Tyson himself, in response to the very small number of haters who panned a film most critics are calling "turbulently candid and hypnotic." I don't remember the last time I was hypnotized by turbulence, but it's fun unpacking your adjectives in reviews. Unless you're Rex Reed, who just calls everything "incendiary," including fire. Check out the piece at Holy Taco here. And if you haven't seen the trailer, you can watch it after the jump. It's insendeeahwee. *Source: Leesmovieinfo.com
A month or so ago, movieblips posted a photo of Megan Fox on the set of Warner Bros.' adaptation of Western comic book Jonah Hex. In the photo, she was hiding her costume under a shapeless white robe. Well, now we know what was under all along, and boy oh boy, is it worth the wait.In the film, Fox plays a character named Leila, who to our knowledge is a new character created for the film version, the story of which is about the scarred bounty hunter (played by Josh Brolin), who tries to track a voodoo practitioner with plans to free the Confederate South with an army of the undead. You could wake the dead just by clicking on the thumbnail images below. Seriously, corsets are inhumane. But god do they look good. I blame Barbie.
This morning, ComingSoon.net got hold of new photos from the set of Columbia Pictures' Salt. The photos are of Angelina Jolie dressed like a very stylish bag lady or "hoboess" (or maybe hobess?) riding atop a train at presumably high speeds. In Salt, Jolie plays CIA officer Evelyn Salt, who is accused of being a Russian sleeper spy, and has to go on the run to clear her name. And according to ComingSoon.net, "Using all her skills and years of experience as a covert operative, she must elude capture and protect her husband or the world's most powerful forces will erase any trace of her existence. They left out the part about Salt doing it all with only a red polka dotted handkerchief tied to the end of stick, and having to subsist on shoe leather stew and harmonica music.
Went to a screening of X-Men Origins: Wolverine tonight. I can't give a proper review or anything, as I don't want to get blacklisted from future Fox screenings for the rest of my days. But I can say that director Gavin Hood was in attendance tonight and gave a heartfelt speech prior to the film, in which he swore up and down that there were 400+ incomplete effects shots in the stolen/leaked version of the film, and that it hadn't been color timed, the score hadn't been added, and the sound design was unfinished. He also mentioned that there are two different Easter egg scenes they shot to appear after the end credits, and they will be randomly dispersed.So, a print in, say, Los Angeles may have a different Easter egg ending than a print in, say, Santa Monica. I only saw one of the two Easter eggs, and I'll just say it involves another mutant who's been rumored to be getting his own film. Here's a clue:
Amber Heard is in The Informers out in limited release today. Given it's based off of a Bret Easton Ellis novel, there's a high probability she plays a young, jaded, affluent woman who does a lot of drugs, has sex with numerous people, and is void of any redeemable qualities. Early reviews of this film seem to point out that the flick itself is as unlikable as its upper crust characters, but that Heard's nudity is an incentive to see it anyway. We haven't seen the movie as of this post, but will be doing so promptly after typing that last sentence, which is now. Have a good weekend and…Enjoy the photos of Amber after the jump.
The new trailer for Rob Zombie's H2 Halloween reboot sequel is out. I think this might be the first sequel of a reboot to a franchise that actually specifically refers to itself as a sequel in the title. But I could be wrong. Feel free to berate me in the comments section, but be constructive, now! The trailer, which you'll find after the jump, starts out with a post car accident Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) repeating "I killed him" ad nauseam while some poor beat cop can't get her to say who she killed, because, you know, that would be useful for the paperwork he's going to have to file. Then we go to the hospital, where Laurie's admitted, broken leg and all, to recover. You know, I was excited for this until I saw that they gave her a broken leg. Do you realize how good sound designers are these days at making bone cracking sounds? Yeah. It's to the point where you don't have to even show the bone breaking. You just need to have some Foley artist in a 5 x 5 box crinkling Cheetos bags into a microphone. Chills. Then vomiting, I tell you.
This weekend's coming in hot. A bunch of babes get their brains re-programmed and complete various secret missions in Dollhouse, Bob Odenkirk from Mr Show guests on Breaking Bad, and I hope your not flying anytime soon, because discovery is running a 2 hour marathon of devastating plane crashes on Sunday night. Right after the break, check out a portly foreigner on a beach who's surprised to see a 747 make a water landing right in front of him.
Tonight's Thursday night TV, packed to the brim (on NBC) with new episodes for three glorious hours, is your chance to start giving Parks and Recreation a chance. Yeah, it started a little slow, and sure isn't getting any love anywhere, but it's got a Poehler-load of potential and it's leaps and bounds funnier than other shows out there (plus, Rashida Jones is a BABE). So give P&R a whirl, and check out the full preview after the break.
So, by now everyone knows that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are getting yet another big screen live-action movie via Legendary Pictures & The Mirage Group. I say huzzah, dudes! …
A live action retelling of the Ninja Turtles' origin story, from Mirage Studios and Executive Producer Peter Laird.
The other week, we spent a whole feature speculating which actress would/should take over the role of heroine Nancy Thompson in Platinum Dunes and Sam Bayer's A Nightmare on Elm Street remake. Well, now Bloodydisgusting reports that actress Rooney Mara is in negotiations to do just that.Judging by Mara's credits, which include a couple episodes of "E.R." and the upcoming Youth in Revolt with Michael Cera, the negotiations probably involved Platinum Dunes calling up Mara's representation, Mara's representation calling Mara into a meeting to tell her, Mara hesitating for a nanosecond to take in what this will mean for her career, Mara's representation slapping Mara hard across the face (probably back-handed for emphasis), and then Mara taking the gig and agreeing to also schlep coffee and wax the producer's car when she's not shooting a scene – SAG rules be damned.
This Friday, Obsessed opens in theaters. If you aren't aware, it's basically a reimagining of Fatal Attraction, only the filmmakers replaced Michael Douglas and Anne Archer with 'The Wire' & 'The Office's Idris Elba and Beyoncé Knowles, thereby creating the setup for 1000 standup jokes about how 'that white bitch Glenn Close' would never 'have f*cked with Beyoncé.' Obsessed also stars Ali Larter in the Glenn Close role, and judging by the trailer, I bet Ali's jaw is still sore from all the scenery she chewed while making the film. Check out the photos of Ali after the jump:
The incredible turn around South Park has in commenting on current issues continues with Cartman deciding to take up the life of a pirate, as 'Captain Fatbeard'. Also, instead of a new Lost, ABC is running a retrospective giving us viewers a bit of break and a little explanation. Yarrrrrr preview after the break.
Hollywood has always made itself feel better by producing films with an environmental message. But generally, behind the wafer-thin veil of humanitarian morality play is a big-budget special effects and explosions. Or sometimes it’s just Kevin Costner. Still, many of Hollywood’s “cautionary” Natural Disaster Movies have given us some great dialogue and exchanges that will stand the test of time, and keep teaching our children’s children’s children important lessons until the ozone layer depletes and they are incinerated like ants under a massive magnifying glass. *cockroaches rejoice in a long-awaited victory* Here are some of those great pieces of Natural Disaster film dialogue, and what we can learn from them:
Check out this heartfelt promo that ran on Fox featuring Mary Lynn Rajskub from 24 reminding us all that going green is a group effort. GO GREEN WITH GIRL FROM 24 – Watch more Funny VideosI hope that Mary's 24 residuals are enough to cover her food, water and utilities in the cave she'll be hiding in for the next ten years so that angry Greenpeace types don't find her and strap her to a Killer Whale. Yes, that is precisely how Greenpeace exacts their revenge upon public figures like Mary, who've obviously been contractually forced to participate in these sorts of misfires, well meaning as they may be. That's why Greenpeace's slogan is "No mercy."
According to Production Weekly, Marcus Nispel, director of both the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th remakes, is attached to direct Pacemaker, written by Lars Jacobsen. Jacobsen's only other credits are as writer/director/producer of Baby Blues, a psychological thriller about post-mortem depression, and as writer of C.O.D., in development at Dreamworks. Pacemaker is described as "Crank meets Taken," which unfortunately results in the portmanteau Tank. Also, with a name like Pacemaker, it conjures up a "Crank meets Cocoon" pitch line. What? You'd see that? And you'd like to see the promotional one-sheet? Right now? In the room? So glad you asked…
This Friday, April 24th, you can catch Terrence Howard and Channing Tatum hustling and busting heads (respectively – Howard's a lover, not a fighter) in the aptly named Fighting, directed by Dito Montiel, who helmed the underrated A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints. Check out the trailer. Fighting Trailer – Watch more Movie TrailersAlso, if you head to Break.com and Cage Potato's fancy Fighting page, you can watch some bloody, badass underground MMA videos and WIN A CHANCE TO ATTEND U.F.C. 98! I, like Howard, am a lover and not a fighter, so I will only be watching on the TV, so as to avert my eyes from the violence in private. I am also like Howard in that I will not be playing War Machine in Iron Man 2.
Everyone has been up in arms over the fact that the sequel to wanted is going to be written by an unknown who’s only real credit is “Pooh’s Heffalump movie.” Which everyone agrees is the Wanted of animated films. Today, the film’s producer (and Wanted creator) Mark Millar defended the choice:“This guy is supposed to be really good. He did a GREAT action script recently (on an unproduced movie) and that’s what got him this gig.”I love that the producer said the writer was “supposed to be really good.” I was really hoping his next line was going to be “I mean, I haven’t read anything he’s written but someone told me he was good, and that was enough for me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Now if you'll excuse me, I have to come up with a lie as to why I can't attend my child's parent teacher conference." I feel like people should cut this writer some slack. It’s not like he’s writing the sequel to Shawshank redemption. It’s Wanted. Bullets fly around. There are hot chicks, and people die. You can pretty much rearrange those phrases in each scene, add voice over, and you’ve got a sequel. Let’s see what he comes up with.
When you hear the title Midgets vs. Mascots, you probably have an image in your sick little head of Midgets fighting Mascots. Turns out you'd be right in this case. The film, Midgets vs. Mascots premiers this weekend at the Tribeca Film Festival. My how their artistic standards have dropped. Why, I remember but a few years ago my Colonoscopy musical was rejected after the second round:Midgets vs. Mascots Trailer – Watch more Funny VideosMidgets vs. Mascots is a shockumentary featuring a wide variety of celebs including Ron Jeremy and Gary Coleman. Both Midgets and Mascots must fight each other in a wide variety of extreme contests to win a million dollar prize. It Screens all weekend at Tribeca and if you want info on how to see it live, Click Here
There's only a week and a half 'til X-Men Origins: Wolverine drops, and Fox is making its last ditch efforts for a big opening weekend. Here's the newest promo with some direct-addresses from Emma Frost, Blob, Stryker, Gambit, Wolverine and a few others. Wolverine TV Promo – Watch more Funny Videos It's like Marvel's version of a Nike Women's soccer commercial. Like Mutants are the equivalent of Mia Hamm, who was told as a girl that sports are for men, but whose will eventually triumphed. Or maybe it's a Visa anti-identity theft spot from back in the late '90s. See what I mean with an unofficial 'junkie-tized Wolvie promo after the jump:
By Mike HammerIn showbiz everybody wants to finish with a big bang. In these movies … unfortunate bad guys hit the end of the road…hard. In fact, these finishing touches come garnished with meltdowns, eviscerations, suffocations and occasionally a delightful animal flesh feast. The following are the best of the big screens, not-so-happy…but always ball-clenching endings. We hope you can make it through to the finish. Death Toll The Godfather, 1972
In showbiz everybody wants to finish with a big bang. In these movies … unfortunate bad guys hit the end of the road…hard. In fact, these finishing touches come garnished with meltdowns, eviscerations, suffocations and occasionally a delightful animal flesh feast. The following are the best of the big screens, not-so-happy…but always ball-clenching endings. We hope you can make it through to the finish. Death Toll The Godfather, 1972Sonny (James Caan) gets spectacularly snuffed when he leaves the Corleone compound and hits the highway to go into Manhattan and kick the crap out of brother-in-law Carlo for beating up his sister, Connie. Sadly, the toll booth traffic proves a lot tougher than usual when hot-headed Sonny gets sandwiched between two sedans whose wheelmen hop out with machine guns and unload enough lead into his La Bonza to rebuild Baghdad and leave him look like puddle of bloody Bolognese sauce on the side of the road.
The new issue of Empire covers Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, with new pics and an interview with Burton, too. Above is a still of Alice about to head down the rabbit hole. It makes you wonder what she's going to see on the other side. We've speculated and our team of indentured artists have rendered some possible outcomes. Here's one: More possibilities after the jump.
According to /Film, even though there’s no third book in the Da Vinci Code series, they’re moving ahead with a third movie. Ron Howard’s big screen adaptation of the Da Vinci Code prequel Angel’s & Demons won’t hit theaters until May 15th, but Columbia Pictures is already moving forward with a third film in the series. Not much information is known about the story, although it has been widely speculated to be about Freemasons in Washington, D.C. Brown, who is clearly obsessed with the Freemasons, has been spotted over the years in Washington, researching Masonic temples. Wow, look at the power Dan Brown has. He doesn’t even have to write the book, and they make it into a movie. That’d be like if I just whipped my wiener out and my girlfriend had an orgasm. Which I can assure you, does NOT happen. Mostly because I don’t whip my penis out, I undress like a gentleman. It’s way too early to say obviously whether or not this movie will be shitty or decent, but I’m guessing if all it has is a title, and no script or source material, it’s going to be awesome! If I were Dan Brown, I would see how ridiculous a book title I could come up with, and see if Columbia Pictures would still buy it. I’d march into their office with something like this:
Someone here at Screenjunkies got kind of jacked up over seeing Crank: High Voltage this past weekend. So much so, that they took it upon themselves to replace our intern’s…
This morning, JoBlo.com released several screen grabs from Jessica Biel's film, Powder Blue, in which she plays a stripper. Click on the image above for the NSFW version. If you haven't already skipped over this text in a feverish attempt to see all the pictures, then a) thank you for your patience and b) you can watch this clip to give you more context into Jessica's dogged preparation for the film. More pics after the jump.
Mitchell Hurwitz, the genius behind Arrested Development, is back with a new animated show this Sunday on FOX. Former 'Developers' Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, and Henry Winkler lend their voice talents along with Cheri Oteri, Keenan Thompson, Will Forte, Nick Kroll and Kristen Chenoweth. Catch the pilot right after The Simpsons, and cross your fingers for more brilliance from Hurwitz and co. Also, Prison Break is back on after a near 4 month hiatus, with the first of it's last 5 episodes. Your preview after the break.