News - Page 313

David Cronenberg Remaking David Cronenberg’s “The Fly”
Thursday, September 24 by

David Cronenberg is revisiting his 1986 film, The Fly. Which of course was a remake of a previous version re-imagined through the Goldblum Filter. A remake of a remake? That kind of gene-thinning would normally create a film who's plot is more deformed than Sloth's nutsack. However, Cronenberg has proven himself to be an inventive and solid director so we're not worried about this project at all. We'll provide more details as they come in. (THR) Wash the image of Sloth's nutsack out of your mind with these morning links… Some Days Are Better Than Others is a ten on quirk-o-meter (The Playlist)Bryan Singer: Giant Slayer (Cinematical)Watchmen: The Ultimate Cut (/Film)Daredevil and Ghost Rider to return to the screen (Empire)Dexter and Doakes playset (Dread Central)

Megan Fox ‘Hire a Hacktress’ Music Video
Wednesday, September 23 by

Megan Fox Music Video – Watch more Funny Videos As you may know by now, Jennifer's Body opened this weekend to disappointing box office figures, even though the movie had the three ingredients that can almost guarantee a hit: an Oscar-winning writer behind the script, lesbian kissing and… lesbian kissing. So what went wrong? Well, recording artist Without a Face might have the answer to that in this new music video response to the film, entitled 'Hire a Hacktress.' If only Hollywood players communicated their ideas like Without a Face… actually development meetings would be really long with the whole singing instead of talking thing, but the results would speak for themselves.  You can buy Without a Face's album 'Worst Debut Album Ever' on iTunes and CD Baby. And you can check out these links for free: The Anatomy Of A Fast Food Restaurant (HolyTaco) The World's Strongest Ears (TotalProSports) Bar Rafaeli Likes To Wear Hurley (TheChive) Archie & Jughead Score Crack In Hollywood (FilmDrunk) 10 Awesome Fight Scenes In Movie History (Manofest) The Next Catch Phrase You'll Hate (Pajiba) Zac Efron Shoots Cat 13 Times In The Head (CelebJihad) Rather Depressing Gallery Of Fat Superheroes (Unreality) 4 Reasons Why Women Can't Be Pickup Artists (Asylum) Sean Salisbury Is The New Jose Canseco (BustedCoverage) 25 Spank Worthy Hand Bras (RegretfulMorning) Save The Boobs Girl Revealed (MadeMan) Dale Earnhardt Jr. Song Video (AllLeftTurns) Drunk Girl Fights In Football Bleachers (NothingToxic) Claymation Patrick Swayze (Atom)

‘Modern Family’ Actress Sofia Vergara
Wednesday, September 23 by

Sofia Vergara isn't too well known in the States, but in Colombia she's a goddess.  And judging by her pic above you can see why.  Sofia stars as Ed O'Neill's wife Gloria Delgado-Pritchett in Modern Family, which premieres tonight on ABC.  I've seen it, and while it may not completely alleviate your Arrested Development withdrawal, it's as close as you're going to get to funny dysfunctional family situational comedy.  Watch it, if only for Sofia, and to kill some time.A word from Sofia: "This is how I've looked since I was 13 years old."I think that makes you the reason they invented statutory rape.Here are some delightfully legal pics after the jump!

Facebook Movie Gets a Cast
Wednesday, September 23 by

This morning, Variety confirmed that Columbia Pictures and David Fincher have set the three principal castmembers for The Social Network, the Aaron Sorkin-penned drama retelling the creation of Facebook.    Hollywood's current "awkward smart guy" du jour Jesse Eisenberg will portray Facebook's founder, Mark Zuckerberg.   

Nicolas Cage Make Up Tests Are Hilarious
Wednesday, September 23 by

A Japanese Tim Burton fansite leaked the above picture of Nicolas Cage dressed as Tommy Wiseau dressed as Superman and its now all over the 'Netz. Some speculate that this is a test shot for Burton's never-lensed Superman Lives project. Others say it is Nicolas Cage badly shooped onto an action figure. At any rate, it's not half as ridiculous as this Nicolas Cage Ghost Rider makeup test.Apparently, Cage had Harlow FX do this trial run on him for his Halloween party a few years back while Ghost Rider was in the early stages of pre-production. It is also apparently where his son Weston Coppola Cage gets his fashion sense. Try these links on for size…Summit Entertainment to murder Highlander (Latino Review)The Social Network throws a sheep at Justin Timberlake (First Showing)The Mad Men animated gif you've been waiting for (GIF Party)George Clooney to direct Matt Damon in War On Terror (MTV)Colm Feore and some chick join Thor (/Film)Some other chick joins Dinner for Schmucks (Empire)

GI Joe Nemesis COBRA Raises Money with Hair Metal Band [VIDEO]
Tuesday, September 22 by

In these hard economic times, many of us have had to turn to our own ingenuity to make ends meet. And a lot of times, that means going out of one's comfort zone. In the case of international terrorist organization COBRA, they had to resort to recruiting would-be ne'er-do-wells with their own hair metal band… and its own theme song, "Cold Slither." Thankfully, Al Qaeda hasn't been able to assemble a band of such caliber, though I hear Osama has a hard-on for Tesla. This video is one of several awkwardly insane moments from 80s cartoons that Spike.com has up on their site. Check out the rest here. Otherwise, grab the spandex and the Aqua Net™ dudes. Today's links wail: 10 Awesome Football Announcer Screw Ups (HolyTaco) CFL Fan Uses Field Goal As Balance Beam (TotalProSports) Cakes For Awkward Situations (TheChive) The Kanye Thing Is Over, Jack White (FilmDrunk) 15 Awesome Office Chairs (SuperTremendous) Top 12 American Movie High Schools (Pajiba) 10 Items Recovered From The Lohan Robbery (CelebJihad) 'District 9' Pisses Off Nigeria (Unreality) Cardstacker Bryan Berg Gets A Room (Asylum) Why We Love College Football: A Gallery (BustedCoverage) Hot TV Host Falls Hard (RegretfulMorning) Signs You're Severely Overworked (MadeMan) Why Your Driver Will Lose: Greg Biffle (AllLeftTurns)

‘Miss Howard TV’ Dominique Dicaprio
Tuesday, September 22 by

No relation to Leo, but impressive, none the less.  Very impressive.  Not much is known about Dominique except that shock jock Howard Stern apparently picked her to be the next "Miss Howard TV."  She's even ahead of Megan Fox in search trends on Google.  Yowza!  Who knew we'd live to see this day.  People are finally getting over Megan Fox.  Looks like she might have to take that next big leap to keep her career alive.  And of course I'm talking about gettin' nakey.   A word from Dominique: No comment.Dominique is too new on the scene to say anything that we can blatantly take out of context, but I'm guessing you're not too interested in her deep insights anyway.  You want to see more voluptuous curves, and you want to see them now, damnit.Well look no further than after the jump!

Fall 2009 Primetime TV Picks
Tuesday, September 22 by

Praise the autumnal equinox!  With the changing of the leaves comes the changing of television programming, and while the Summer heat made me unconscionably sweaty, this season's new lineup has all my glands wide open.  So clear your DVR's queue to make room for my personal favorites this Fall.  I'm guaranteeing a fantastic time indoors away from parents, women, and cyborgs (don't pretend like they're not out there among us).  Enjoy the following!   What it's about: Winning Emmys. 

“Resident Evil 4″ Starring Prison Zombies
Tuesday, September 22 by

Resident Evil 4 plot details have leaked like the drool that oozes from the corners of its target audience's mouth. It's been revealed that Ali Larter and Prison Break's Wentworth Miller have joined the cast. Larter will reprise her role as Claire Redfield and Miller's role is unknown at this point. Though his prison experience will come in handy due to the factor that the film's undead will besiege a prison in this installment. If they wanted an actor with prison experience, the producers should look no further than Tom Sizemore. (Dread Central)  These morning links don't bite… Darren Aronofsky makes Ocean's Eleven look like Leonard Part Six (Cinematical) Marvel President to take over Disney? (Latino Review) Coen Brothers plan Old Fink (MTV) Sherlock Holmes demands a sequel (First Showing) Toy Story 3 trailer set to premiere (/Film)

‘Pandorum’ Twitter Giveaway. Tweet to win an MP3 player, a ‘Resident Evil’ DVD Pack & More!
Monday, September 21 by

THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED. @AnthonyRicci is the winner. Please Direct Message us with your address so you can claim your prizes!The new Dennis Quaid and Ben Foster-starring sci-fi thriller Pandorum opens up this Friday, and Overture Films is giving away a Pandorum prize pack that includes a wall mountable mp3 player, a Resident Evil Trilogy DVD pack, and a mini Pandorum one-sheet (all pictured below).  If you want to win all of the above, we're gonna make things real easy on you. All you have to do is sign into your Twitter account, and tweet the following message: "RT @screenjunkies Don't fear the end of the world. Fear what happens next http://tinyurl.com/lc7ohe "  That's it. Simple. And it won't cost you any space bucks. Winner will be chosen at random from the collection of received tweets. We'll contact you via Twitter. Contest ends at 11:59pm on Thursday, September 25th, Pandorum's opening day.   Contest is NOW CLOSED.

Christopher Walken Cooks a Chicken
Monday, September 21 by

Christopher Walken Cooks a Chicken – Watch more Movie Trailers "The way your Dad looked at it, this Stove Top stuffing was your birthright. He'd be damned if anybody else was gonna put his greasy hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. This chicken. Forty-five long minutes, he had this stuffing up this chicken. Then when he had to run out to the grocery store, he gave me the chicken to put in the oven. I kept this chicken in the oven for fifteen more minutes. Then, after letting it sit, I placed it in this serving dish. And now, little man, I give the stuffing to you."   These links belong on a gold watch, they do:  How To Keep An Office Romance A Secret (HolyTaco) TPS Monday Afternoon Quarterback (TotalProSports) 23 Uber Sexy Oktoberfest Photos (TheChive) Twilight Has Doomed Us All (FilmDrunk) 61 Greatest Emmy Cleavage Photos (Manofest) 5 Best Shows Looked Over By Emmy (Pajiba) J. Love Hewitt Airbrushed Skinny (CelebJihad) Five Excellent Moments With Tarantino (Unreality) 91-Year-Old Man Defends Home With Revolver (Asylum) ESPN Hires Bikini Model To Drive Fans Nuts (BustedCoverage) A College Girl's First Walk Of Shame (RegretfulMorning) Hottest Emmy Winners Of '09 (MadeMan) Why Your Driver Will Lose: Brian Vickers (AllLeftTurns) Asesinato In Mexican Subway Station (NothingToxic) Russell Brand Is Feeling Naughty (Atom)

‘House’ Actress Jennifer Morrison
Monday, September 21 by

You may remember Jennifer Morrison from the two minutes she spent playing Captain Kirk's mommy in this past Summer's (today's the first day of Fall!) little indie Star Trek.  If you happened to miss her birthing scene because you were buying Sour Patch Kids, you can see her a lot more on House M.D., which premieres its 6th season tonight on FOX.  It looks like her character Cameron is going to marry Chase this year, which is interesting because those two were engaged in real life and broke it off right before the marriage.  Talk about conflict!  Let's hope some of the awkwardness shines through on screen.         A word from Jennifer: "This isn't technically the normal way that medicine works."Oh great!  Thanks for pulling back the curtain and revealing all the smoke and mirrors behind the magic of television.  You're such a party-pooper, Jennifer.  …But I'd still play doctor with you. Here are a few more pics of Jennifer after the jump that won't poop your party!

Obama’s Top Ten Lines on Letterman
Monday, September 21 by

 Tonight, President Obama will visit the Late Show with David Letterman, and is set to be the only guest (sorry if you got bumped). This is his sixth time on the show, but the first time back since his election, and the speculation is that he'll be using this appearance to talk about the future of health care in America.  So what exactly might be said during his hour on late night TV? We gave that a think over here at Screen Junkies, and in the grand tradition of Dave, came up with a Top Ten list of our own. So here it is, an entirely speculative list…  Top Ten Things Obama Might Say on Letterman 

2009 Emmy Winners
Monday, September 21 by

Neil Patrick Harris was the big winner last night at the 61st Primetime Emmy Awards.  His hosting prowess tied together an abnormally great show, drawing this rave review from Jon Stewart, "These shows, we've all been to a lot of these, they usually suck. And you've been very good." Highlights from the night include Ricky Gervais dressing down The Office cast, a visit from Dr. Horrible, and some news that will have scifi geeks everywhere cheering — Michael Emerson finally won a statue for his portrayal of Ben on LOST. Here are the winners of the main categories. Full list and Dr. Horrible after the jump.   Drama Series Mad Men   Comedy Series 30 Rock   Lead Actress, Drama Glenn Close, Damages Lead Actress, Comedy Toni Collette, United States of Tara   Lead Actor, Comedy Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock   Lead Actor, Drama Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad   Supporting Actor, Drama Michael Emerson, LOST   Supporting Actor, Comedy Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men Supporting Actress, Drama Cherry Jones, 24 Supporting Actress, Comedy Kristin Chenoweth, Pushing Daisies   WWNPHD? He'd click these links…   Dick Cook's Disney ousting saddens Tinseltown (First Showing) Curb is back! (Gunaxin)Jennifer's Body eats it at the box office (Latino Review) Fantastic Mr. Fox character one sheets (IMP Awards) What to expect on Dollhouse Season Two (TV Squad)   CLICK TO SEE FULL LIST OF EMMY WINNERS

Did a ‘Paranormal Activity’ screener haunt Steven Spielberg’s home?
Sunday, September 20 by

According to a new L.A. Times article, Paranormal Activity isn't just a film about a haunting; the film itself may actually be haunted – at least, if Steven Spielberg is to be believed. John Horn's article cites a source within Dreamworks as having said that, upon viewing a DVD screener at his Malibu home, Mr. Spielberg was inexplicably locked inside his bedroom and had to call a locksmith in order to get out. And upon his eventual release, the man who gave us Poltergeist tossed the screener in a trash bag and brought it straight back to the Dreamworks offices.Viral marketing hooey, or a legendary filmmaker genuinely freaked out by a film? Or even better… is there a standard def ghost in the Blu-Ray machine? Read the whole article over at the L.A. Times, where you can find out just how this scrappy $5000 do-it-yourself movie is being distributed by the folks behind Star Trek and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. And cower at the convincing scares in the trailer after the jump. 

Photobomb Fridays: Kanye Interrupts Swayze in ‘Ghost’
Friday, September 18 by

 "Yo Patrick Swayze, I'm really happy for you and I'ma let you finish making this nice ashtray or whatever… but Bill Cosby's Ghost Dad was one of the best movies of all time. ONE. OF. THE. BEST. MOVIES. OF. ALL. TIME!" - Kanye West Here now… are the weekend's Top Kanye-Free Links:  Flowchart To Determine If You Should Call 911 (HolyTaco)The Art Of Dude Landing (FilmDrunk)30 Amazing Sand Sculptures From Around The World (SuperTremendous)Pajiba's Fall Movie Preview (Pajiba)Keeley Hazell's Breasts In Various Swimsuits (CelebJihad)Bizarre Gallery Of Super Mario Bros. Fan Art (Unreality)Handwriting Can Give You Away As A Liar (Asylum)2009 Make 'Em Piss Blood Challenge (BustedCoverage)Tribute To The Camel Toe (RegretfulMorning)TPS NFL Weekly Locks: Week 2 (TotalProSports)When A Girl Wants You To Love Her (MadeMan)Why Your Driver Will Lose: Ryan Newman (AllLeftTurns)Robber Shoots Woman Point Blank In The Face (NothingToxic)Obama Undercover With A Hat On (Atom)

‘Greek’ Actress Tiffany Dupont
Friday, September 18 by

Let's just break the bad news right off the bat.  Tiffany Dupont, who stars as Frannie Morgan in Greek, loves Christianity bunches and bunches.  We're not saying there's anything wrong with being best friends with Jesus, but that likely means he's (He's?) putting the kibosh on sex until marriage, my friends.  Damn!  And I've got two strikes against me because A) we're not married and B) I'm as Jewish as the day (and the nose) is long.  She'd bring me home to the folks and they'd probably throw holy water at me.  Which would sting because on top of being Jewish I'm also a vampire.  Awww that's THREE strikes!       A word from Tiffany: "No, Mel Gibson was not involved."Yeah, that's what you think, Tiffany.  But chances are he's pulling those strings from a secret laboratory in his Malibu mansion.  Mel Gibson is always involved. Martin Riggs is probably even involved in these pics after the jump…

Adam McKay Talks “Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters”
Friday, September 18 by

 A few months back we told you about the upcoming Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters project that Gary Sanchez Productions had picked up from Dead Snow director Tommy Wirkola. Now Sanchez honcho Adam McKay spills a little bit about where the production is at. No casting has been announced (though he mentions Will Ferrell will sit this one out) but it does seem the film will be an effects-driven, monster slaying good time. Think of it like MiB meets Shrek. Random sidenote, Susan Boyle would be PERFECT for a live-action Shrek. (MTV)  Morning links… Spike Lee and Robert Deniro venture into Alphabet City. (Latino Review) X-Men: First Class ready to shoot in 2010. (Superhero Hype) Bill Hader aggrandizes Greg Mottola's Paul. (Cinema Blend) It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Live! (Vulture) Seacrest almost got the happy knife. (WENN) The Five Best Slow Claps Of All Time (Pajiba)

Obama Has a Lightsaber: A Gallery
Thursday, September 17 by

It's a known fact that President Obama is a bit of a sci-fi nerd, and any doubt was obliterated this week when he jousted with a lightsaber on the White House lawn during an announcement for Chicago's 2016 Olympics bid. The story blew up so big, even the guy picking his nose in the background of the photo became a bit of a celebrity on Digg (ironic, considering he was only digging himself).

‘I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell’ Red Band Trailer. Now with Boobs. [NSFW]
Thursday, September 17 by

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell Red Band – Watch more Movie Trailers Yep… uhhhh… The title of the post pretty much sums up what you get with the trailer.  If you're interested in just how this film came to fruition (i.e. you're more of an ass man), you check out our in depth interview with Tucker Max and co-writer Nils Parker). Otherwise, subtly turn your monitor toward a corner, check there are no mirrors, and laugh/fap away. Less talky, more linky:  5 Things It's Always Sunny Should Sell In Their Store (HolyTaco) David Lynch's Art Show Sounds Awesome (FilmDrunk) Ligers Really Do Exist (SuperTremendous) 5 Best Slow Claps Of All Time (Pajiba) Olivia Wilde Gettin' Wild In GQ Magazine (CelebJihad) Possibly The Greatest Megan Fox Interview Ever (Unreality) Heeb Best Of 5769: Television (Heeb) Panamanian Kids Beat Gollum With Rocks (Asylum) Tim Tebow Gets Carved Into A Tree (BustedCoverage) 7 Reasons Glenn Beck Would Have Rape/Murdered (RegretfulMorning) Charles Rogers Charged With PUI? (TotalProSports) What NOT To Say To A Cop (MadeMan) Menard Takes Flopper Lead (AllLeftTurns)

‘Community’ Actress Gillian Jacobs
Thursday, September 17 by

Gillian Jacobs stars as Britta in the new sitcom Community, which starts tonight on the network that took away five blocks of scripted drama time so they could give Jay Leno his own show because they were afraid of losing his massive chin.  Anyway…the sexy blond plays opposite "Talk Soup" dude Joel McHale and, drum roll please…Chevy Chase!  That's right, folks, he's back!  I know this post is supposed to be about Gillian, but come on, Chevy Chase is back, and he's supposed to be funny again.  NBC should give HIM his own show five nights a week.  Oh wait, FOX already did that back in '93…  A word from Gillian: "I was actually watching a rerun the other day, and I was like, ‘I recognize that place! I've seen that swing before!'"Ah yes, the swing.  It brings back so many fond memories.  Memories of never having anyone to push you on it because you're a poor, ugly little orphan who's addicted to smack.  Thanks for ripping that one out of a deep, dark place, Gillian!Here's some pics after the jump that'll get you swingin'!

7 Awful Prequel Ideas & Their Posters
Thursday, September 17 by

If there's one thing Hollywood loves to do, it's run an idea into the ground. And when it comes to squeezing every last dime out of a concept, sequels are the studios' weapon of choice. But what happens when your film's main characters are dead, or your actors refuse to return for part two? A prequel. That’s what happens. From X-Men Origins to Van Wilder: Freshman Year, Hollywood has proven that all you need for a prequel is a loose back story, an established title, and a willingness to crap all over the memory of the original movie. On that note, here are seven awful prequels that are currently in production (in our minds). Shawshank Origins: Brooks Haven’t you always wondered about the mysterious origins of Brooks Hatlen, the librarian and resident "bird man" of Shawshank? No? Well screw you. That's what you're getting.    

MTV Developing “Greg The Bunny” Spin-Off
Thursday, September 17 by

 MTV has announced they are developing a spin-off to one of our favorite cult shows, Greg the Bunny. The new series, Warren the Ape, focuses on Greg's puppet counterpart Warren T. Ape DeMontague as he attempts to pick up the tattered shreds of his acting career. Failing to win any roles, DeMontague agrees to appear on a reality show as a last ditch effort. He's just like Trishelle. Both will do anything for attention and neither mind having fists stuffed up their butts. (THR) These morning links have been translated from Puppish to English… Nicolas Cage suddenly cares about character in his portrayals. (Cinema Blend)Scarlett Johansson needs a date for the Iron Man 2 premiere. (Superhero Hype)Red band I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell trailer. (Trailer Addict)Mark Millar teases Kick Ass 2. (/Film)Josh Olsen and Harlan Ellison will not read your f***ing script. (Cinematical)Jay Chandrasekhar holds a Shotgun Wedding. (Pajiba)Ray Wise is joining Dollhouse. (TV Squad)

1950s ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ Trailer Remake
Wednesday, September 16 by

Some clever fellow by the name of 'whoiseyevan' created this homage to the very 1950s pulp adventure flicks to which the Indiana Jones films paid homage as well. It's like Indiana Jones and the Search for Some Crazy Ass Meta Sh*t. The mash-up pulls from so many sources we can't list them, and features a pre-militant, rifle-carrying Charlton Heston as Dr. Jones, and a bevy of '50s film stars… all coming together for some uncannily similar action to Spielberg & Lucas's action hero. Impressive stuff. [via BoingBoing] No time for love, Dr. Jones? Make time for these links at least: Does Kanye Have Asperger's Syndrome? (HolyTaco) Forgotten Classics: Swayze Edition (FilmDrunk) 10 Funniest Fat Guys Of All Time (SuperTremendous) New Trailer For 'Paranormal Activity' Looks Freaky (Pajiba)  Obama Calls Kanye West The N-Word (CelebJihad) Giant Gallery Of Gorgeous Girl Gamer Tattoos (Unreality) Dungeons and Dragons Soda Slays Nerd Thirst (Asylum) Missouri Hooters Bikini Car Wash: The Final Hosing (BustedCoverage) Pick Up Lines From The 80s (RegretfulMorning) Andrew Quarless Has College Football's Worst Tattoo (TotalProSports) The 10 Commandments Of Online Gaming (MadeMan) Why Your Driver Will Lose: Carl Edwards (AllLeftTurns) The New Kid Has A Bad First Day On The Bus (NothingToxic) Kanye West Apology Generator (Atom)

‘The Vampire Diaries’ Actress Nina Dobrev
Wednesday, September 16 by

Nina Dobrev stars as "Elena Gilbert" in the new show The Vampire Diaries, and guess what? Her character's in love with a vampire.  Dammit, what is wrong with women?!  Why do they find fanged bloodsuckers so damn attractive?  Twilight, True Blood, and now intimate journal entries on the subject.  Most of the girls I know don't even like hickeys on their necks, let alone pustulating fang punctures.  Fine, go fall in love with your vampire, Nina. Take the ridiculous ratings that come with it.  I'll cry salty tears like the mortal I am. Your new boyfriend is incapable of crying, you know.      A word from Nina: "There is something about a man who lurks in the dark."Way to invite the stalkers, Nina.  Like seriously, you can't say stuff like that because stalkers pay very close attention.  Then they pop out the dark, naked; you run away screaming; they get arrested and testify that you…ASKED FOR IT.  And they might have a case.Here's some more of what you're sure to ask for.  Pics after the jump!  

12 Geeky eBay Items Really for Sale
Wednesday, September 16 by

  If you're into Movie and TV arcana as much as we are, you know there's only one place to find the weirdest, geekiest, most fantastically obscure memorabilia collecting dust in someone's closet. eBay: the auction house for the modern fanboy. We at Screen Junkies decided to investigate some of the cooler/weirder/geekier finds currently available for purchase on the site (at least at the time of this post), and are showing them off to you, the fans.  Consider us your new secret shoppers.  

Giraffe Dies On Set of Kevin James Movie
Wednesday, September 16 by

Celebricide '09 continues. News has broke that the giraffe that starred in many Toys R Us commercials and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective died unexpectedly on the set of the new Kevin James film, The Zookeeper. Tweet the Giraffe's death came as a shock as the animal was believed to have no known health problems. A federal probe is being conducted to find out if any mistreatment took place. The Zookeeper tells the story of a rotund zookeeper who gets some advice in the romance department from the sassy animals he cares for. Think of it as a more furry Hitch. It's a shame to see another noteworthy actor join the Raul Julia Club of Actors Who Died With Crappy Final Films. (WHDH)40 Bear wants you to read these morning links… Jessica Biel joins A-Team. Rampage puts on his dry humping pants. (Cinema Blend)Galifianakis institutionalized. (Empire)Night of the Living Dead prequel IN 3D. (/Film)Solomon Kane featurette. (Dread Central)Silent Hill 2 coming together. (Latino Review)

‘Drugs Are Fun’ PSA featuring Black Dynamite
Tuesday, September 15 by

Drugs Are Fun PSA – Watch more Movie Trailers In the above viral promo for Black Dynamite, starring Michael Jai White, the titular badass is on a mission to fight smack in the orphanage. He pays a visit to the front stoop of Ding Dong Roar (a disturbing '70s "Sesame Street"/"Zoobilee Zoo" hybrid) to let us know that drugs aren't as fun as they look. But judging by the catchy song, hypercolors and characters like Funky Feline and Little Strange Alien Child, drugs appear to be way f**king fun. Why Tom Sizemore isn't a regular on "Ding Dong Roar" is beyond us. Black Dynamite opens October 16th, 2009. Be sure to visit the official site of Black Dynamite's crusade: Fight Smack in the Orphanage. You can help the children and sh*t.

OMFG. It’s a homemade Yoda Fleshlight.
Tuesday, September 15 by

Now, before you unsheath your lightsabers to gouge your eyes out, know this: the photograph laying atop the mattress is not actually of Yoda or his Irish cousin Seamus O'Dagobah (could have fooled me).  Nay, it's that of Yaddle, a female counterpart of Yoda's who is also part of the Jedi Council. So, your childhood hero is not about to be violated in effigy. Just one of George Lucas's afterthoughts crammed into The Phantom Menace. So use the Force, pal. Use as much Force as you want. Those Fleshlights are…ahem… supposed to be durable.  [Source: PictureIsUnrelated.com]Here are today's top links: How To Convince Your Girlfriend To Like Football (HolyTaco)Christopher Lloyd Is Doing Great. Not. (FilmDrunk)50 Amazing Pieces Of Food Art (SuperTremendous)Colin Firth Is Creepy. Gay. Pretty. (Pajiba)Lady Gaga Distracts You From Her Penis (CelebJihad)South Park Kids Come To Life (Unreality)Jeff Ross's Best Friars Roast Zingers (Heeb)Finally You Can Measure The Intensity Of Your Farts (Asylum)NSFW Places To Display Your Patriots Super Bowl Ring (BustedCoverage)A Monkey Who Likes To Grab Boobs (RegretfulMorning)Federer Next Perpetrator Of Tennis Umpire Bashing (TotalProSports)The Hottest NFL Wives And Gfs (MadeMan)Why YOUR Driver Will Lose The Chase (AllLeftTurns)

What Crappy Gossip Girl Character R U?
Tuesday, September 15 by

  We here at Screen Junkies are aaaalllll about Gossip Girl. Big time. Like, completely into it.