Haha. Right in the nuts.Thank God. Now comedy nerds can go into a sports bar and enjoy 10 Cent Wing Night without fear of ridicule from the jocks. Comedy Central has ordered ten episodes of the sports-themed satire "Onion Sports Network," allowing nerds everywhere to bluff their way through sports conversations when, in truth, their sports knowledge is limited to the third act of Major League. A spin-off of the popular newspaper, website, and recently-announced TV show, "OSN" will target teams, athletes, fans, and ridiculous endorsements with "the same sharpness we've seen applied to the world of politics and popular culture." (THR) A taste of things to come, after the jump….
Amber Heard has experience playing the "naughty hot chick" and the "nice hot chick." She starred in All The Boys Love Mandy Lane," which no one had a chance to see, and The Informers, which is worse than bamboo chutes in the peehole.A word from Amber: "I love to cook. When I'm away I miss my pots and pans and my spices."Then giiiiit in the kitchen, woman! Sorry, I had to take that one. Feel free to flick off the screen.More spicy pics of Amber after the jump.
Well, whoop-tee-doo!!! This new clip from A Nightmare On Elm Street gives us a better look at the "micro-naps" introduced in the previous trailer. They occur when the insomniac has been awake for 70 hours, forcing them to dream without falling asleep. I gotta say the device is used to nice effect here, fading between the drug store and the boiler room as Freddy Krueger menaces his victim. Speaking of Krueger, we get a pretty good look at him too. But enough with the glove already. Always scraping the blades against pipes or clanking them together. We get it, dude. You're the "glove guy." It's your thing. Such a show-off with your fancy toys. And stop playing with your iPad when I'm trying to talk to you! (Yahoo)Don't sleep on this clip after the jump…
You may or may not know the story of Colton Harris-Moore, the teenaged burglar who has remained at large for the last two years, having stolen (and crashed) several vehicles, boats, and aircrafts in that time. He was once witnessed fleeing a burgled home in western Washington State with no shoes, leading to the nickname "the Barefoot Bandit." He's also known as "the Teen Houdini," "the Boy Who Could Fly," and "the Shoeless Asshole." (That last one was coined by me.)Taking Flight: The Hunt for a Young Outlaw is a book proposal about Harris-Moore's insane legend to which David Gordon Green and his Rough House Pictures brosefs Danny McBride and Jody Hill now own the film rights. And understandably so. Pooping outdoors. Eating garbage. Stealing pies from window sills. Constantly on the run from Ranger Smith. This kid is living the life!! (Variety)
Usually in movies when someone unexpected or undesired arrives on the scene one or more characters utter the words "We've got company!!!" It doesn't happen as often as a mirror scare, but it's cliché enough for a montage.We've got links!!!'Iron Man 2' Inspired By 'Rocky III'? (Moviefone)When Twitter Drinks too Much Vodka (Asylum)Michael J. Fox Chats About New Book (PopEater)Heidi Montag Plastic Surgery Diagram (HolyTaco)Jake Gyllenhaal to Play Joe Namath (FilmDrunk)Shaq Has Gone Marbury Crazy (TotalProSports)5 Comedy Sequels That Could Work (Unreality)Gray Maynard Still Patiently Waiting His Turn (CagePotato)Tiger Woods to Sex Phil Mickelson's Wife (CelebJihad)Steven Seagal and His Dirty Secrets (Smosh)5 Awesome Monster Face-Off Movie Trailers (Pajiba)The Perfect 'Entourage' Parody (Atom)Places to Have Sex Before You Die (MadeMan)Kahne to Hendrick (AllLeftTurns)8 Sexual Acts All Men Should Conquer (RegretfulMorning)
Best Cry Ever – Watch more Funny Videos I'm assuming this clip is from A&E's "Intervention, which is clearly a somber show, but no apology deserves this kind of reaction. Check out my mashup below. Tom Hanks Jokes with Crying Guy – Watch more Funny Videos
I assumed the announcement that Joss Whedon was on the the shortlist to direct Marvel and Disney's big ol' Avengers movie/super-hero dogpile was an Internet hoax. But today there are reports that the King of the Nerds is in final negotiations for the job. One question though. Really?No offense to Whedon. I'm a fan. I'm sure he'll deliver. It's just that I wouldn't expect Marvel to hand their prized pig to a guy who's only directed one feature, although Serenity was really enjoyable. Then there's the fact that he'll have to cast Eliza Dushku. I don't see the fans embracing a Wasp born and raised in Worcester, Massachusetts. (Deadline)
And she thought cyborgs were tough to kill…
Writer/director Andrew Niccol is returning to the world of science fiction and nerd love. The Gattaca and Lord of War director is preparing to helm I'm.mortal, from his own script. THR has the details:The story is set in the not-too-distant future where the aging gene has been switched off. To avoid overpopulation, time has become the currency and the way people pay for luxuries and necessities. The rich can live forever, while the rest try to negotiate for their immortality. The protagonist is a poor young man who comes into a fortune of time, though too late to help his mother from dying. He ends up on the run from a corrupt police force known as "time keepers."It's said that this is to be the most commercial of Niccol's work. Mainly because the premise's device would allow for a hot, young cast to attract and capitalize upon the tween demographic with their hypnotic abdominal muscles.Sounds like a really interesting premise. Gattaca with shades of Logan's Run. Not a fan of the title though. I'm.mortal sounds like something a Black Eyed Pea would tattoo on his or her clavicle.
Lori Loughlin, or better known as Aunt Becky, captured our hearts as Uncle Jesse's main squeeze on "Full House." She also appeared in Old Dogs alongside Jon Travolta recently, which I don't condone, but everyone does one for the money now and again. Like that entire cast. A word from Laurie: "You have to make difficult choices in your life, and you just have to be happy with them."Like what I shall have for dinner tonight. Do I go with the country breaded chicken or lemon pepper fish frozen meal. Ahhhhh, decisions make me angry!These pics of Lori after the jump will calm my nerves…
I'd rather stop writing about casting news for the satirical comedy Butter, but they keep landing hot chicks so I must oblige. Last week Ashley Greene came aboard to play a naughty schoolgirl, and now Olivia Wilde is set to play a tattooed stripper. Why is this film becoming more appealing with each passing day?If you're not already aware, the film centers on an Iowa woman (played by Jennifer Garner) who attempts to win a butter-carving title formerly held by her husband (Ty Burrell), only to be thwarted by a young black girl (Yara Ahahidi). It mirrors the themes of the 2008 Democratic primary, but with butter. If I had one gripe about that particular primary, it was that it didn't have enough butter, even with Bill Clinton there. (Movieline)
Here we have a second featurette for Predators focusing more on interview footage with director Nimrod Antal and producer Andy Capp. The video doesn't show much footage beyond what we've seen in the trailer and previous featurette, but it does show what the film would look like with German subtitles. So there's that. Rodriguez and Antal come off as genuine fans of the franchise while talking a bit about the importance of creating characters and not overdoing the CGI. That should set those let down by AvP at ease. For those who weren't let down by AvP, there also promises to be a sword fight between a samurai and a Predator. Oscar-caliber performers and gimmicky fight scenes. Something for everyone. Check out the featurette after the jump.
Star Wars Uncut: A New Hope is a fanmade tribute movie that stitches together hundreds of fifteen-second Star Wars reenactments to create one feature-length nerd orgasm. It has everything in…
Seth MacFarlane has augmented his sure-fire formula for TV success in order to apply it to the big screen. But only slightly. MacFarlane is working out a deal to direct Ted, an R-rated comedy about a man who must choose between his girlfriend and his best friend — a talking teddy bear. "Family Guy" co-star Mila Kunis is being considered for the role of the girlfriend.MacFarlane will also loan his satin-y smooth voice to the CG-animated bear. I'm thinking it's somewhere along the lines of Snuggle, if Snuggle cursed and humped legs. Somewhere in Hollywood, Verne Troyer is cursing the advent of computer animation. (Deadline)
Tina Fey hosted "Saturday Night Live" this past weekend and was lucky enough to have Justin Bieber as the musical guest. So of course they put together a pedophile sketch. It's understandable that Fey would want to rub Johnson's Baby Shampoo in Bieber's hair, but she should squirt some in has mouth while she's at it. Kid's talkin' way too gangsta lately. These links are very much of age. The Best Action Movies of the '70s (Moviefone) A Look Inside Erotic Photography (Asylum) Heidi Montag Shows Off Her F-Cups (PopEater) 5 People You Know Who Cheat On Their Taxes (HolyTaco) Mickey Rourke Method Acts With Pics of Dead Dogs (FilmDrunk) Peter Griffin Plays Modern Warfare 2 (Unreality) Brawling Season is Back for Marlins Fans (TotalProSports) Guide to Fake Military Titles (Maxim) Did Demian Maia Disrespect Anderson Silva? (CagePotato) Megan Fox Pic X-Rayed to Reveal Breasts (CelebJihad) Worst Job Applications Ever (Smosh) The Most Depressing Movie of All Time (Pajiba) Recession Song (Atom) Take the Stress Out of Tax Season (MadeMan) 10 Worst Paint Scheme Fails (AllLeftTurns)
Superman rescues mini zombie. It doesn't matter why.Since being picked up for series, casting news for Frank Darabont's television adaptation of The Walking Dead has been trickling in. We already know that Andrew Lincoln and Jon Bernthal are on-board to play Officer Rick Grimes and his partner Shane. Today there is a rumor that Brandon Routh will also join the cast in an unspecified role. This one is actually believable. Routh's career is on an uptick as of late with a recent role on "Chuck" and one in the upcoming Scott Pilgrim. But who will he play?We conducted a very scientific poll to find out which character he will most likely play.10% of people believe he will play Glenn12% of people believe he will play Billy Greene13% of people believe he will play a brand new character64% of people believe he will play Boyishly Handsome Zombie #31% of people are undecidedWe'll keep you posted as this story develops if only because that fancy polling equipment cost us a sh*t-ton. (Bloody Disgusting)
Hollywood is abuzz for Todd Phillips and Joel Silver's newly-announced Project X. Even though they don't know much about it. Here's what we do know:The title and high-concept plot are being kept secret.It will be rated hard-R.The budget is $12 million and will star a cast of college-aged complete unknowns.Phillips will produce before directing The Hangover 2. Commercial director Nima Nourizadeh is at the helmThe movie is not a remake of Matthew Broderick's 1987 cigarette-addicted monkeys drama.Why so secretive? Are they planning some kind of elaborate prank?? What is this project and why is the concept so high?? More importantly, what role will The Dan Band be shoe-horned into??????? I don't like secrets. I'll be holed up in my bunker until this mystery is solved. (Deadline)
The Los Angeles Times published four new photos of Christopher Nolan's Inception in yesterday's edition of Calendar. We added captions.Shot through a filter of Jose Cuervo and Pabst Blue Ribbon. Nolan and DiCaprio wait patiently while Gordon-Levitt shows #2 who it works for.More after the jump…
Nicole Scherzinger is the Queen Pussycat of The Pussycat Dolls. She tried to go solo, but it seems she's only a success when surrounded by the rest of her pussies. A word from Nicole: "I'm a beast of a woman who loves Jeff." Now I'm a shadow of a man who hates Jeff. He always ruins everything…Check out more pics of the beast Nicole after the jump.
I live in NYC, so seeing a shirtless man scream to the heavens and attempt to attack a skunk with a sword is an almost daily occurrence for me. But now, the entire world can see this type of activity on the big screen. If you thought the cancellation of Grayskull meant we'd never see He-Man on the big screen, you're the stupidest stupid who ever stupided (no offense). Today, THR reports that Mike Finch and Alex Litvak (Predators) have written a Masters of the Universe treatment for Mattel and Columbia Pictures that seems to make both the studio and the toy manufacturer happy. We'll keep you posted as the project develops, but all we can really do now is get lost in a K hole and drift off to these thumping beats. He Man sings – Watch more Funny Videosvia Slack Circus
I'm taking your time slot, and that's the end of it. Conan O'Brien chooses TBS. In a surprise move, O'Brien announced on his Twitter this morning that the cable channel will be his new home:"The good news: I'll be doing a show on TBS starting in November. The bad news: I'll be playing Rudy on the all new Cosby Show."Coco's show will air at 11PM, Monday-Thursday, the slot now occupied by "Lopez Tonight." George Lopez is acting all "mi casa, su casa" about getting the bump to midnight, having called O'Brien personally and stating, "I can think of nothing better than doing my show with Conan as my lead-in."It was thought that Conan might land at FOX this Fall, but the affiliates' shared fear of replacing profitable "Seinfeld" reruns with a floppy, red-haired gamble put a wrench in the works. Conan couldn't seem happier about the move though, stating, ""In three months I've gone from network television to Twitter to performing live in theaters, and now I'm headed to basic cable. My plan is working perfectly."Next up, maybe blogging. Welcome to hell, Coco. (Variety)
With Kick-Ass coming out this Friday, kids doing dangerous stuff is back on the screen. There was a time not too long ago when kids in films were allowed to smoke, shoot, and curse because after all that is what real raging hormonal teens do. Their stories ranged from slum dramas to precautionary tales to pure adventure stories, all of which feature some of the best performances by child actors in the history of cinema and took conservative parental guidance to the edge. Let's take a look at some of the most extreme bad-ass kids ever shown on the big screen. The Monster Squad (1987) – Living on the movie monster edge
Fans of Green Lantern have been eager to see Ryan Reynolds in the hero's spandex since news of casting broke. However, their waiting has been in vain because /Film has announced that there is no suit. Not a physical suit anyway.Costume designer Ngila Dickson (LOTR, The Last Samurai) has devised a way to make the suit stand out from all the other superhero films — it will be computer generated. That news may worry purists, and understandably so. A CG suit in a 3D film is cause for major concern. Hopefully Warner Bros won't repeat their "bat-nipples" mistakes of yesteryear.The worry may be premature though. Both DC and Warner Bros. insiders are reportedly very happy with the results, and word is that "the suit will look like a manifestation of [the ring's] power." Much like my teal Crocs are a manifestation of me looking good and knowing it.
Mickey Rourke stars in this commercial where he's essentially playing his gruff self. He sits down at a hotel bar with his chihuahua, orders a beer, and the bartender has the balls to give him a non-alcoholic brand. The man must be suicidal. Who in their right mind tries to pull one over on Mickey Rourke when he would clearly have no qualms about using your eye socket as a bottle opener? If anyone knows when something's lacking alcohol, it's Rourke. (FilmDrunk)
Johnny "Fake Tan" Spinotti wore out his welcome on the first day. Here are your weekend links.10 Best Los Angeles Movies (Moviefone)Oregon Students Rickroll the Subway (Asylum)Charlie Sheen Denies Trying to Strongarm 'Men' (PopEater)25 Sexy 90s Stars (HolyTaco)Star Wars Burlesque Show Video (FilmDrunk)8 Awesome Tarantino Movie Trailer Mashups (Unreality)There Cheerleaders Love Penis (TotalProSports)Why Men Cry (Maxim)Exclusive" Bellator XIII Post-Fight Interviews (CagePotato)Sophie Monk Goes Swimming in a Cold Pool (CelebJihad)10 Horrible Haircuts (Smosh)Steve Carell Career Assessment (Pajiba)Tiger's Transgressions (Atom)Manly Packed Lunches (MadeMan)Subway Fresh Fit 600 Odds (AllLeftTurns)
"I see you." If you're on the fence about The Losers, check out this extended trailer. But please ignore its attempts at glib humor. It's probably just nervous around you. The extended look begins with Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Zoe Saldana flirting the Whitney and Bobby way (closed-fist punches and motel room fires), and then jumps into an introduction to the rest of the team, despite the fact we met them already in Sneakers and The Italian Job. The action doesn't stack up to what we've seen of The A-Team or The Expendables, but it doesn't insult our intelligence by having a tank fight a jet in mid-air or giving Jet Li comedic dialogue. Plus, it shows you how to make a homemade rocket launcher. Who doesn't need one of those? Besides Whitney and Bobby. Sex, anal, and violence after the jump….
Michael Madsen is saying things again. According to the actor, Quentin Tarantino figured out a way to move forward with the Vega Brothers film that he's been hoping to do for years now. Originally envisioned as a prequel pairing Pulp Fiction bad-ass Vincent Vega and Reservoir Dogs bad-ass Vic Vega, the film would star both John Travolta and Madsen. Then Tarantino decided that the actors were too old (a polite way of saying swollen) to play younger versions of their memorable characters. Now Madsen says that QT has a way to set the film in modern day and work around the fact that both Vincent and Vic Vega are deceased. But how? “No, actually Quentin went down to Tijuana recently, and on his return he said that he came up with an idea that the movie didn’t have to be a prequel, that John and I could play each other's twin brothers." “I’d be Vic Vega’s twin brother,” Madsen explained. “[Travolta would] be Vincent’s twin brother and we’re both on a flight from Los Angeles, having just been released from prison, and neither one of us know that we’re the twin brother of the other one and we’re both on our way back to LA to avenge the death of our brothers.” Now I've heard stories about Tijuana but… wow. Either Tarantino went down there for some serious mind expansion, or he fell asleep while watching Big Business on cable. Just like the time he fell asleep watching Overboard. That's how we got Kill Bill, you know. (WAAF Boston via Cinematical) Watch Madsen's interview after the jump…
Taraji P. Henson is best known for her role as pregnant prostitute Shug in Craig Brewer's Hustle & Flow and the foster mother of the gross Brad Pitt baby/old man in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. For the latter, she was nominated for an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. Personally, I found the hooker role more compelling.A word from Taraji: "Tyler Perry's method is very hard core, very in your face, not tiptoeing around."Does he do this all while dressed as Madea? If so, I can understand why you'd take him so seriously. More of Taraji in your face after the jump.
The trailer for The Other Guys has dropped and it provides a great deal more context than the fancy schmancy motion poster did. Although a part of me is missing the "Ridin' Dirty" background music. Watch out, synopsis comin' atchya! Set in New York City, The Other Guys follows Detective Allen Gamble (Ferrell), a forensic accountant who’s more interested in paperwork than hitting the streets, and Detective Terry Hoitz (Wahlberg), who has been stuck with Allen as his partner ever since an embarrassing public incident with his quick trigger finger. Allen and Terry idolize the city’s top cops, Danson and Manzetti (Dwayne Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson), but when an opportunity arises for the Other Guys to step up, things don’t quite go as planned.
Ashley Greene enjoys butter so much she's signed on to co-star in a movie about it. The film centers on an Iowa woman (played by Jennifer Garner) who attempts to win a butter-carving title formerly held by her husband (Ty Burrell), only to be thwarted by a young black girl (Yara Ahahidi). Wait, where's the part about Greene slathered in hydrogenated oil? This has been one big tease! Greene will play a rebellious high schooler named Kaitlen Pickler in the film directed by Jim Field Smith, who also directed hottie Alice Eve in She's Out of My League. Just a suggestion, but a movie starring Ashley Greene, Alice Eve, butter, and absolutely no premise sounds like box office gold. Mainly because I would personally see it 250,000,000 times. (THR)