"Cranberry leather looks good on you.""I stole it from your closet after the sex we had together."We all knew this day would come, we were just waiting for the title. Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, and director Justin Lin are back for another Fast (fill it in) Furious, and they're naming this one after an instant scratchers lottery ticket. Fast Five, the fourth sequel in the franchise, promises more car chases, car crashes, Diesel and Walker disagreeing then agreeing on a plan of action, and latina cleavage.Fast & Furious made over $500 million at the box office so it's not surprising that Universal is rushing another one into production. I'm sure it didn't take long to get the key players together. An exec had to go over to Vin Diesel's place and get his okay, then stop by the dumpster outside where Paul Walker was eating breakfast. He threw a banana peel and scampered off, solidifying his involvement. (Variety)
Professional big British dude Vinnie Jones is interested in opening a chain of British pubs with fellow Redcoat Jason Statham. In fact, they've been talking about it for some time but their schedules have never let them a lot of time to dig in. Says Jones with rounded vowels:Jay has been working so much and so have I. The pubs will happen. We had a great spot right opposite the pier in Santa Monica. They just wanted too much rent. Me and Jay went to look at it and we had three other investors, all Brits. The mates discussed calling their chain "The Snatch Bar," which would be a decidedly disappointing place to hold a bachelor party. Rather than naked skanks and coeds, the place would be crawling with Australians. **slide whistle sound as erection deflates**This news will undoubtedly be a let down for 50 Cent, who has approached Jones about opening their own chain of English pubs. Jones however, was not interested. Either he felt it would work better in British hands or he and Fitty couldn't see eye-to-eye on the name "In Da Pub." (WENN)
Shutter Island Superbowl Spot – Watch more Funny VideosHere's an early leak of the Superbowl spot for Martin Scorsese's Shutter Island. This spot does away with the slow build we've seen in the others and jumps right into the psyche-bending action. It looks unlike anything Scorsese has done before and seems like it could be an entertaining winter film. It was also announced that there will be no TV spot for Iron Man 2 during this year's Superbowl. With that in mind, I'm not sure why Paramount would release this before the big game. It seems like it will have little competition. I guess their logic is to build a little additional buzz in the hopes that some extra eyes will see it. Either that or they're helping us all plan our pee breaks. If so, thanks!!
Sarah Silverman/Demetri Martin Promo – Watch more Funny VideosYou get Sarah Silverman and Demetri Martin together in a vast empty room with only one stick of furniture to sit on and they're bound to think of something funny. Or you'd think that, but the above promo proves otherwise. At least the footage of the comedians' new seasons got me smiling. Come on, Sarah, you couldn't have at least ripped a juicy one? You KNOW it would have echoed. Or did the suits at the network put the kibosh on that?New Episodes of Important Things with Demetri Martin and The Sarah Silverman Program premiere back-to-back tomorrow at 10/9c on Comedy Central.These links premiere right now.Gallery: Saints Girls vs. Colts Girls (HolyTaco) How to Ruin Your Buddy's Manhood (TotalProSports)Most Razzie-Nominated Stars of All Time (Moviefone)Hurt Locker is a Game Changer Now Too (FilmDrunk)Gambling Enabler: UFC 109 (CagePotato)If the Ninja Turtles Really WERE Artists (Unreality)Christina Hendricks is Good at Fashion (Asylum)Maxim's Hottest Hand Bras (Maxim)Jennifer Aniston Wants Brad Back SO Bad (CelebJihad)Drunken Shenanigans (Pajiba)Conservative Phone Sex vs. Talking with Friends (Atom)Your Personal Guide to Manscaping (MadeMan)Carl Edwards Gets Raaaaw (AllLeftTurns)
The Griswolds are coming back to the screen! Even if it is just the small screen. We reported in October that a new National Lampoon's Vacation sequel is in the works, but a short film featuring the lovably dysfunctional family is a certainty. Below is just a teaser of what will premiere on HomeAway February 7th. I don't even care that Clark & Ellen are hocking vacation rental homes, they're together again and looking rather dapper. No word if interchangable children Rusty and Audrey will be in the short film, but my fingers are crossed that they somehow work Anthony Michael Hall in there. He already played opposite Chevy on NBC's Community, and I'd like to see Clark give him a few incoherent words of wisdom one last time. Check out The Griswolds teaser after the jump.
Renowned Elmo tormentor Ricky Gervais has teamed again with his The Office/Extras co-creator Stephen Merchant to write and direct Cemetery Junction. And… and… honestly, I have no idea what it's about. I watched this trailer four times now and couldn't understand a word of it. Is that a real language that they're speaking? If so, is it called Chimney Sweep?? Here's what the studio claims it is about:Cemetery Junction, set in 1970s England, follows three blue-collar friends who spend their days joking, drinking and chasing girls. Freddie (Christian Cooke) wants to leave their working-class world, but cool, charismatic Bruce (Tom Hughes) and lovable loser Snork (Jack Doolan) are happy with life the way it is.Okay. That's what they claim. But to me this could just as easily be a movie about the formation of The Beatles. Or the Stones. Or Wayne Fontana and the Mindbenders. I CAN'T F***ING TELL!! Watch the trailer after the jump, and please provide translation in the comments section.
Directors: Ricky Gervais & Stephen MerchantCast: Ricky Gervais, Ralph Fiennes, Matthew Goode, Emily WatsonSynopsis: A 1970s-set comedy centered on three upstart professional men working at an insurance company.
MacGyver creator Lee Zlotoff is not happy with SNL's big-screen parody of his guy-with-a-mullet-displaying-ingenuity-with-everyday-household-items-in-order-to-get-out-of-life-threatening-scrapes-at-the-last-second action series. Hollywood Reporter reports Hollywoodily, that he is preparing legal action against Relativity Media to block the April 23rd release of the butt and boob filled MacGruber. Some say that parody falls within the realm of fair use while Zlotoff feels like there is a big difference between a short sketch and a 90-minute film, especially while he is developing MacGyver for the big screen himself.Seems like an uphill battle, if only because nobody besides Lee Zlotoff wants to see a MacGyver movie. As he prepares his case, I hope he refers to 1991's controversial Top Gun v. Hot Shots! If you'll remember, the case was dismissed when a confused Lloyd Bridges shuffled around the courtroom while farting a melody eerily similar to "Who Let the Dogs Out." But it was the crap he took in the corner that angered the judge the most. (THR)
Amanda Seyfried was the airhead member of "The Plastics" in Mean Girls, starred in Big Love and Jennifer's Body, and has freakishly large blue eyes. I find them slightly off-putting in a sexy way that I'm uncertain of.A word from Amanda: "Jeans are just so sexy, there's something about them that turns me on, you know?"If you're asking me if women wearing jeans is sexy, than yes, I get it. If you're asking me if I'd hump a pair of jeans without anyone filling them, than yes, I get it.More pics of Amanda not wearing jeans after the jump.
It's a true fact that Japan's chief exports are crazy sh*t and tuna. This commercial for Hagoromo Tuna kills two birds with one stone. It's not the first time we've seen a foreign "homage" to Star Wars, but it is the first time we've seen the iconic characters pimp probably-not-dolphin-safe salads and hors d'oeuvres. A large part of our job here at Screen Junkies is to look at pictures of hot actresses (like KRISTEN BELL IN HER UNDERWEAR or SEXY PATRICIA De LEON BEING SEXY for instance), yet I can't take my eyes off C3PO's tight, little rear. Please let it be a chick under that costume. (Buzzfeed)
We have video proof of the racist pot calling the kettle black. In his interview with Dean Richards of Chicago's WGNtv, Mel Gibson doesn't approve of the reporter's probing questions regarding all that dispicable stuff he did. The drinking and swearing was sooooooo five years ago, Richards. At the end of the segment, Gibson throws a tiny dig in right before the feed cuts out. That's like pulling up next to a bicycle cop in your lowered Honda Accord and shouting "Pig!" before peeling out whilst cackling. Total burn, dude.
Variety recently mentioned that there's a chance Transformers 3 may be filmed using 3D cameras. Paramount wants that but it may go against director Michael Bay's wishes. And you don't want to defy Michael Bay. He throws the best parties. He rents tigers, you guys.Bay has spoken out against 3D in the past believing that it won't gel well with his films. And I definitely agree. Megan Fox notwithstanding, why would I want his movies any closer to my face? The robots in Transformers were confusing, muddled masses of scrap which were all but impossible to distinguish between during fight scenes. It was like staring at a Magic Art poster with racist characters.Of course, that was Bay's stance before Avatar bent over and dogged the global box office. Maybe the money and studio pressure will change his mind but I urge the cash-loving suits to remember one thing: Michael Bay is an artist. Didn't you see his Victoria's Secret ad? (Variety)
LOST: Answers Song – Watch more Funny VideosIn honor of LOST premiering tonight, here's a song created by Benny & Rafi Fine laying out all the mysteries the show hasn't answered yet. I watched it and I can't remember half the sh*t it brings up. I've wasted five years of my life on LOST, and I look forward to wasting one more. I demand an answer for the polar bears. That island is simply too hot for them!Get these links in before the brain-wrinkling begins.25 Drunks Passed Out On Benches (HolyTaco) Oscar Nominations Snubs and Surprises (Moviefone) The Rip Torn/Norman Mailer Brawl (FilmDrunk) King Mo Lawal May Do an Elephant Entrance (CagePotato) 5 TV Characters We Should Hate But Love (Unreality) 5 Shows That Lost it in Their Final Season (Asylum) 21 Awesome Butter Sculptures (Maxim) Demi Lovato Lesbian Bikini Vacation (CelebJihad) 20 Worst Oscar Nominations of the Last 20 Years (Pajiba) These Guys Write The Super Bowl (Atom) 14 Things Scaring Off the Ladies (MadeMan) Hitler Reacts to NASCAR Rule Changes (AllLeftTurns) My GF is Banging Another Guy. WTF? (RegretfulMorning)
"Yous is gonna have to bring up dis situation with mys attorneys."Another example of why the rest of the world hates America has been filed at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office today, and wouldn't you know it, it involves The Jersey Shore. Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is so fond of his washboard abs that he's looking to get them trademarked. The application was filed by "The Situation's" older brother Marc "The Enabler" whose Las Vegas firm operates several porn websites. Of course that's what he does. OF COURSE.Another application has been filed by a man named Matthew Hunter who would like permission to stamp the moniker on t-shirts, underwear, track suits, and vagabond children. I'd like to just shout out a big thank you to all who are trying their damndest to proliferate stupidity. It's my only hope that Snooki jumps on the bandwagon and trademarks her amorphous bodytype. There has to be a pasta sauce company out there that's willing to take a chance on pint-sized guido. (SmokingGun)
Though he's currently busy Oscar shoe-in being and We Are The Worlding, Jeff Bridges is also appearing in next winter's Tron Legacy, the follow-up to Bridges' classic sci-fi film. Today we have an alleged "first look" at Bridges in the sequel, but that's only if you don't consider the Comic-Con teaser trailer. Which is pretty cool looking by the way (posted after the jump). In the newly released photo, we see Bridges dressed as an iPod. He and Bruce Boxleitner are going to be big hits at the Boing Boing Halloween party. (Cinema Blend)
That's Lyndsy Fonseca, and she's in the new international red-band trailer for Kick-Ass. The trailer also features some new footage, a good story summary, and Chloe Moretz spouting out a particularly filthy word, but the quick glimpses of Lyndsy alone are worth the key strokes for the age-gate. If you don't watch Desperate Housewives or How I Met Your Mother than you probably are not aware of Lyndsy's winning smile, but you will be soon. I'm even considering seeing Hot Tub Time Machine so I can get a side of Fonseca with my overly broad concept comedy fix.By the way, the word Chloe (Hit Girl) says is "cock." A brain-tingling word like that and they gave it to the jail bait. Laaaaaamesville.Check out the international red-band trailer here.
Kasia Smutniak is a Polish hottie who started her modeling career at the ripe age of 15. She's been in a few movies with names I can't pronounce, but mostly she's nice to look at. Also, her last name has the word "smut" in it, and that makes me giggle because I'm stupid. A word from Kasia: "Working with people like Jon and Jonathan, it was very helpful."Did Jon let you shave his head while Jonathan braided your hair? I bet you guys did that every night when you should have been learning your lines. You scoundrels. Check out more SMUTniak after the jump.
Last we heard about Jon Favreau's Cowboys & Aliens was that original star Robert Downey Jr. was bailing in favor of talking like a British queef in the Sherlock Holmes sequel. Since that time, Daniel Craig has agreed to strap on the chaps left empty by Downey Jr.. Today comes news that Olivia Wilde has joined the cast. Probably in a sexily way, knowing her.Wilde will play Ella, a woman who joins Craig's gunslinger in the uprising against an alien invasion. Shooting is expected to begin this summer. No word yet on when the porn parody Reverse Cowgirls & Aliens will go before cameras. But we'll keep you posted. (THR)
BEST DIRECTOR SHOWDOWN This year’s Oscar nominations have been announced, which means it’s time to take the frontrunners from each category and throw them into the Thunderdome where they’ll wage…
This morning at 5:00 a.m. PST and 8:00 a.m. EST, actress Anne Hathaway arose from her hole and saw her shadow. As ruled by the laws of nature, this required her to announce the nominees for the 2010 Academy Awards.Avatar and The Hurt Locker lead the charge with nine nominations apiece. What are the chances that a divorced couple would be competing against one another for Hollywood's top prize? That just gave Nora Ephron an idea for a film. Someone get Julia Roberts and Philip Seymour Hoffman on the phone! Amanda Seyfried will play the daughter.Rounding out the super-sized category for Best Picture are: District 9, The Blind Side, A Serious Man, Inglourious Basterds, An Education, Precious, Up and Up in the Air.CHECK OUT THE FULL LIST OF NOMINEES AFTER THE JUMP
I don't think Spike TV is even trying anymore, you guys. In an obvious ploy to lure Juggalo viewers, they've announced that they have picked up the six-episode series Bloodied Midgets Half Pint Brawlers. The series, billed as Jackass meets Little People, Big World, (or sh*t meets fart, by me) documents a traveling band of little people as they hop from ring to ring beating the crap out of themselves. This is a wonderful opportunity for advertisers. I don't want to tell them how to run their business, but the makers of size XS Zoo York t-shirts had best strike while the iron's hot. (THR)
How Michael Ian Black Makes a Childrens Book – Watch more Funny VideosThe relationship between author and illustrator can be a volatile one, especially when Michael Ian Black is the author and he thinks your drawings suck in comparison to his words. Black has just released a new children's book entitled The Purple Kangaroo, and it appears from the above video that him and illustrator Peter Brown had some disagreements on the overall style of the project. Brown only wants to seek a common ground, and Black only wants to wipe his ass with the preliminary sketches. While writing that last sentence I realized that both of these men have surnames that are colors. The colors of most poop. For that reason alone they should get along.These links are very accommodating.25 Hilarious Storefronts (HolyTaco) Coach Throws Ball at Player's Head (TotalProSports) 5 Oscar Longshots We're Rooting For (Moviefone) Day of the Dolphin is a Movie That Exists (FilmDrunk) Punch-Face of the Week: Jay Hieron vs. Joe Riggs (CagePotato) People Dressed as Simpsons, Family Guy, and South Park (Unreality) Porn Star Gives an S&M Tutorial (Asylum) Nic Cage's Magical Mystery Hair (Maxim) Michael Jackson's 3D Grammys Tribute (SuperTremendous) Olivia Wilde in Italian GQ Magazine (CelebJihad) 10 Most Egregious Oscar Snubs of 2010 (Pajiba) 25 Sexy Motivational Posters (TheChive) Terry the Bi, Bi-Polar, Polar Bear (Atom) How to Be a Spy in a Week (MadeMan) Biggest Off-Season Rumors of 2010 (AllLeftTurns)
"I'm gonna get you so good, Sam Worthington." Up until now, all the materials we've seen from Clash of the Titans have focused mainly on Liam Neeson's permed beard, monster-fighting, and the Monsters of Rock soundtrack. The new international trailer offers a change of pace by taking a breath to set up the plot of the movie. It seems that the mortals have drawn the ire of Hades so naturally it's statue-tumbling time. To make matters worse, the humans rebel against the Gods which provokes Zeus to the point where he's forced to use his shockwave fist-slam (that's how you know when he's pissed). Then, it's all out war and Gemma Arterton shows up to act stalkery. After that, it's mainly what we've seen before: Sam Worthington fighting the Starship Troopers bugs, an Orc, that monster from Pan's Labyrinth, and those angel-monsters that were out-of-place in Max Payne. And, of course, it closes with Liam Neeson releasing his Kraken. Seriously Liam, quit whipping that thing out all the time. Check out the trailer after the jump.
Remember in Ong Bak 2 when Tony Jaa vaulted off an elephant's face in order to kick a guy extra hard (footage here)? How do you top that? With more elephants, stupid. And this time dress them up. Audiences like it when animals think they're people. The trailer for Ong Bak 3 has arrived. I'm not totally sure about the film's plot specifics (or if it has one), but I can tell you that Tony Jaa is going to kick dudes' asses in ways you never thought possible. For instance, in the trailer he uses his own groin to smack a guy in the face. Imagine how bad you would feel if a dude beat you senseless using his donger as a weapon. I didn't know that could be done. Is d*ckboxing a thing? (Film School Rejects) Watch guys get knocked off elephants after the jump…
Dancin and Breakin Predators – Watch more Funny VideosFirst there was the Predator Rap, and now those wily aliens have gone and put a dance routine together. Even with all the armor these Predators can pop and lock like a crew with true cred. Lionel Douglass -AKA- Big "D" is a member of the original Don Campbellock dance group the "Lockers." He is also the creator of this ridiculous display. Never have Predators looked so unintimidating.
DIRECTOR: Tony JaaCAST: Tony Jaa; Saranyu Wonggrajang; Primrata Dechudom; Nirutti Sirijanya; ElephantsSYNOPSIS: The legend of Ong Bak 3 begins after Tien (Tony Jaa) has lost his fighting skills and his beloved stepfather at the Garuda’s Wing cliff from the raid led by Jom Rachan (Saranyu Wonggrajang). Tien is brought back to life with the help from Pim (Primrata Dechudom) as well as Mhen (Petchai Wongkamlao) and the Kana Khone villagers. Deep into the meditation taught by Phra Bua (Nirutti Sirijanya), Tien finally is able to achieve ‘Nathayut’. His talents are put to the test again when his rivals including the Golden-Armored King’s Guard (Supakorn ‘Tok’ Kijusuwan), the mysterious killers in black, and Bhuti Sangkha (Dan Chupong) return for the final massive showdown.
Annie Wersching is from my hometown of St. Louis, Missouri, so that automatically makes her awesome. We do breed some fiiiiiiine women in the Show Me State. I have yet to figure out if it's due to Budweiser replacing the drinking water.A word from Annie: "Acting gave me the opportunity to do outrageous things."Hmmm, when Googling Annie I came across no spicy pictorials or mentionings of nude scenes. If she's going to say she's done outrageous things can a brotha at least get a lingerie spread?The pics after the jump will leave you wanting.
Anticipation for the sixth and final season of LOST is reaching a fever pitch. Fans of the show are surely planning viewing parties for tomorrow night's premiere (kinda messed that I wasn't invited). If you are among the many eager to see what happens this season on Craphole Island, ABC has a little treat for you. In addition to the first 4 minutes of the season premiere, ABC has lifted the embargo on new footage. So instead of showing us a whole lot of nothing, they've lovingly crafted this slick trailer from brand new footage. Have a glimpse at what the fates have in store for all of your favorite characters and Sayid. And please reconsider not having me in your home for your viewing party. I promise not to giggle during the love scenes this year. (SL Lost)FIND THE ANSWERS AFTER THE JUMP…
In the upcoming film From Paris with Love, John Travolta brings back one of Hollywood's favorite archetypes – the "Loose Cannon."ScreenJunkies thought it would be best to bring in a psychologist to analyze our favorite loose cannon partners.
"Get your own elder-porn!"Universal is eager to put Jason Bourne back on screens but have had some difficulty churning out another amnesia spy thriller. In the three years since The Bourne Ultimatum was released, they've tried to no avail to get a script. Director Paul Greengrass has cut and run and taken Matt Damon with him. So what does a studio do in this situation?If you said "reboot in 3D", you're almost right and there's a job waiting for you at Sony. In the case of Bourne however, the studio may be biding their time with a prequel according to Matt Damon. "There'll probably be a prequel of some kind with another actor and another director before we do another one. Just because I think we're probably another five years away from doing it – we've got to get a script. If you have any ideas, call Universal. They'd love for you to get in touch!"That could be pretty cool actually. We'll get to see Jason Bourne in his spying and parkouring glory. This two big questions though; a) how young will they go? And, b) how do we keep Channing Tatum far away from this project? (Empire)