Pew. Pew. Pew Pew. Pew.John Favreau has rebounded since his man-crush, Robert Downey Jr., was forced to drop out of Cowboys & Aliens. His solution, of course, was to bring in his vice man-crush. Sam Rockwell will join the already cast Daniel Craig, Olivia Wilde, and Harrison Ford as Doc, a bar owner who joins the fight against the alien threat.The role was originally tailored for a heavyset man but when Vince Vaughn became unavailable, it was rewritten for Rockwell. (THR)
Someone created a Tumblr called ViolentJIsJohnGoodman. Makes sense. I bet he at least knows how magnets work.F*ckin' links, how do they work?Remembering Lynn Redgrave (Moviefone)10 Things You Should Never Say to a Lesbian (Asylum)Obama Had Help from 'Daily Show' Writers (PopEater)25 Sweet Food Sculptures (HolyTaco)Roman Polanski Is Terrible at PR (FilmDrunk)5 Classic Non-Regular Character Seinfeld Moments (Unreality)Now This Is One Excited Fan! (TotalProSports)Horse Name or Sex Act? (Maxim)Thiago Silva to Face Tim Boetsch at UFC 117 (CagePotato)Hayden Panettiere and Her BF (CelebJihad)Teletubbies Gone Wild (Smosh)A Downey Jr. Backlash? Inconceivable! (Pajiba)Cinco de Mayo: Arizona-Style (Atom)Best Theme Hotels on the Planet (MadeMan)Richmond Brings NASCAR Back to Par (AllLeftTurns)
Hollywood seems to have an obsession with assassins, and this teaser trailer for The American only further proves that point. George Clooney plays a soul-searching gun-for-hire hiding out in Italy for one last job. A last job he's of course being coerced into completing. There are pretty women (who can't be trusted), a priest (who can't help ease Clooney's suffering), and surprisingly a lack of alcohol. C'mon, an assassin who's NOT an alcoholic? I don't buy it, Hollywood. I bet we're going to see a bottle of Jim Beam in the full trailer or the pistol in my desk drawer isn't stained with orphan blood. The film is directed by Anton Corbijn, whose last film Control profiled Ian Curtis, the lead singer of Joy Division, who commited suicide. Soooo he does bummer movies. Check out the trailer after the jump. The American hits theaters September 7, 2010.
This is Matthew Vaughn's Johnny Vaughan's excited face.X-Men: First Class is a dream project for most up-and-coming directors working nowadays. Matthew Vaughn was in talks to take the gig but those talks broke down, causing Hollywood's hottest to pig pile on the property. But now it turns out their writhing and hair-pulling was all for naught, as Matthew Vaughn has sauntered in and taken back the crown. Too bad too. Samuel Bayer ended up getting a pretty bad finger jammy in the melee.The man who McLovin described as a "dick" is in final talks to close the deal. If this all comes together, expect to see Ice Man bang out the chalkboard erasers later this fall. (Deadline)
Vh1 announced a few weeks ago that they would move away from the trashy television that butters their bread and take a step in a classier direction. Albeit, a baby step. This preview of "The OCD Project" shows us people who wash the skin from their hands, believe they can kill with the power of minds (mind bullets!!), and more disgustingly, EAT. OUT. OF. TOILETS. Say what you will about Flavor Flav, but the man had standards. You saw how he barely made out with that woman who pooped on his floor. Standards, folks. It's what separates us from hobos.Outlandish fears? Check. Creepy doctor scaring the crap out of everyone? Check. Toilet eating? CHECK. "Panic Attack," the gauntlet has been thrown down.Check out the preview after the jump…
NBC is taking a chance on a J.J. Abrams project. I know, right? Buncha stupid-heads over there, and no I won't watch my language. The Peacock has greenlighted "Undercovers," a spy drama from the mind behind the plastic, black eyeglass frames of Abrams himself."Undercovers" stars Boris Kodjoe and Gugu Mbatha-Raw as Steven and Samantha Bloom, a married couple who run a Los Angeles catering company. Five years earlier, though, they were a pair of the CIA's best spies. Now, when their old espionage buddy goes missing, they're reactivated by their boss Carlton Shaw (Gerald McRaney) and thrown back into the field. Not surprisingly, they discover they missed The Life.Sounds like my experience as a blogger. The catering racket just couldn't appease this wild child. Abrams wrote the "Undercovers" pilot with Josh Reims and also directed it, making this the first pilot he's gotten behind the camera for since "LOST." You took a gamble on this one, NBC, but hopefully it'll pay off. Abrams seems to have a decent enough reputation around town. Now thank whatever god you sacrifice to for granting your flailing company such a wonderous bounty. (EW)
Scarlett Johansson is known for her curvy physique, unique film choices, and popularity with celebrity men. She's hooked up with Benecio Del Toro, Jared Leto, Derek Jeter, and Josh Hartnett. I guess husband Ryan Reynolds isn't bothered by these transgressions. Yes, even Josh Hartnett. A word from Scarlett: "One of the best things for a woman to hear is that she's sexy."You're sexy! You're sexy! You're sexy! You're sexy! Now what do I win?I suppose the pics after the jump will have to suffice.
Sorry Danny Elfman, you've been replaced by the singer who's so money she has a money symbol in her name. On last night's episode of "The Simpsons," the inhabitants of Springfield sang, hopped, and fought to Ke$ha's "Tik Tok" instead of Elfman's internationally recognizable, and never substituted, score. You can even catch Carl Dr. Hibbard breakdancing in the background. Aren't more Asians and Latinos doing that nowadays than African Americans? At least that's what "America's Best Dance Crew" showcases. Bumble-Bee Man should have been all about those windmills and coin drops. (Buzzfeed)
Get ready to go further behind the music of popular VH1 "Behind the Music" subjects N.W.A (aka That-word-my-friend-Tariq-asked-me-to-stop-saying With Attitude). New Line has tapped (not as in "tapped that ass") Andrea Berloff (World Trade Center) to write Straight Outta Compton, a biopic dramatizing the rise and fall of seminal gangsta rappers and police f*ckers: Ice Cube, Eazy-E, Dr. Dre, MC Ren, and DJ Yella.Biopics always clean up come award season and I don't see why this one should be any different. One might argue that the subject matter is too aggressive but the same could once be said for Johnny Cash. I'm interested to see how far this can go. In fact, I'd like to go ahead and nominate it right now for the Screen Junkies' Theater-Going Experience Most Likely to Get You Shot Award. (THR)
Last night on "60 Minutes," Steve Kroft sat down with Conan O'Brien and asked him if he thought he got screwed, among other things. O'Brien joked that his contract with NBC prohibited him from speaking frankly on the matter, but that even if he didn't have a contract his opinions would remain cordial.Obviously Conan was hurt by the whole ordeal, and Leno and Zucker don't play in his sandbox anymore, but the former "Tonight Show" host insists that he didn't get screwed. Really, Conan? I mean, I don't exactly feel sorry for him considering he walked away with over $35 million, but when a prostitute walks away with a sweaty palm full of cash she knows how she earned it. She got screwed. And that's okay. Check out the full interview below.
Don't freak on me but I forgot to update you guys that Hank Azaria is playing the fugly-ass wizard Gargamel in Sony/Columbia's very important Smurfs adaptation. Today we have our first look at the "Simpsons" star in full costume and I've gotta say, he looks the part. With these grotesque features, he could easily get work at Smurf Land Theme Park. If not as Gargamel, definitely as the groundskeeper who isn't allowed legally to be alone with children. Or livestock. The film's voice cast for the live-action/CGI blend consists of the Laugh-A-Minute All-Stars: Jonathan Winters, George Lopez, Kenan Thompson, Jeff Foxworthy, and renowned funny lady Katy Perry. Combine that knowledge with the fact that this film is directed by Beverly Hills Chihuahua's Raja Gosnell, and you're all but guaranteed to be made uncomfortable. Either by an awkward and confusing Smurf musical sequence or Smurfette's faux-lesbian posturing. (Coming Soon)
There's a new reason (besides interacting with pretty girls) to fear Spring Break this year: dying a fish-related death. That's why I've elected to stay on campus to get a jump on my courseload. I ran that plan by Mother and Mother agrees that's the best use of my time. The once-3D, then not 3D, then 3D again Piranha 3D has a full-length trailer that gives us a better look at the massacre at Lake Victoria. And it also gives us a better look at Ving Rhames ridiculously fighting a school of piranha with an outboard motor. That's the reason 3D was invented. Sh******t, that's the reason eyeballs were invented. Boobs, blood, and people dying unlikely deaths after the jump….
No stranger to being up to his neck in starlets and superhero movie offers, Ryan Reynolds is calling upon that practice for his role in Buried. The film, directed by Rodrigo Cortés, stars Reynolds as an American kidnapped by terrorists and buried alive with a 90 minute supply of oxygen. And a cell phone that works underground. Because they have those. The new teaser captures the excitement of "Rescue 9-1-1" and combines it with the ignorance of accidentally leaving the lens cap on. Buried was picked up for wide release at Sundance and opens in theaters September 24th, 2010. Though I feel like if they really want the experience to be immersive, it should be screened in state-of-the-art theater coffins. This post sponsored by FlickCrypts™. Dig into the trailer after the break…
Wax on this, Danielson. Here are your weekend links. Three Clubs from 'Swingers' (Moviefone) Best Video Game Bars in America (Asylum)Website Raises Money for Stephen Baldwin (PopEater)Interview With Shit My Dad Says (HolyTaco)'Furry Vengeance Recreated Through Scathing Reviews (FilmDrunk)10 Disturbingly Realistic Zombie Costumes (Unreality)Kentucky Derby Hotties (Maxim)Silva vs. Sonnen Fan-Made Promo (CagePotato)Rihanna Gets Dirty On Stage (CelebJihad)15 More Bad Thongs (Smosh)Jim Carrey Career Assessment (Pajiba)Iron Man 2 Parody (Atom)Try a Different Sex Move Tonight (MadeMan)Heath Calhoun 400 Odds (AllLeftTurns)
You see that, Batman? That's a release date for your next film. How does July 20, 2012 sound? (Warner Bros. forcefully shakes his head yes)Batman 3 hasn't even gone into production yet, as Christopher Nolan just completed Inception and wants to close his eyes for a minute, but little bro Jonathan Nolan is diligently working away on the script based off a story by himself and David Goyer. Since the film is going to be in 3D I hope they add a lot of "Bats fly at the screen!" in the action. You can never get enough bats flying at the screen. It's like they're gonna get caught in your hair! Eeeeeeee! (Deadline)
"You ain't got nothin', Mendes."The glittered gloves are off and the jazz hands are flyin'! "You Think You Can Dance" judge and Hairspray director Adam Shankman wants the job of making Oz, the Great and Powerful faaaaaaaaaabulous. Sam Mendes is currently circling the project, but Shankman brought his slap and tickle fight to Twitter. He's retweeting the tweets of his fans, who I have just dubbed "Shankmaniacs!" (exclamation point necessary), and building up a strong front. Good Charlotte singer Joel Madden is one impressionable tweeter on Team Shankman. That guy loves Chicken Nuggets, so Shankman probably has the gig on lock.(Vulture)
Those who have tackled their own home-made adaptations of Stephen King's The Dark Tower are about to be upstaged twice over. Universal is in talks to condense the seven books by the creepy author (I said it) into a film trilogy directed by Ron Howard. Not only that, but they'll also produce a far crappier television version for shut-ins and Nielsen families.I'm not really sure how the story of the last gunslinger Roland Deschain will divide across film and television wthout confusing the chronology, and thinking about it has given me another one of my murder headaches. Well, time to chain myself up for the night again I suppose. (Deadline)
Melissa Bacelar is well known in the horror world, and makes fanboys swoon when she appears at their conventions. She also was once a bartender at Coyote Ugly in NYC, an establishment that was then adapted into a horror movie itself. A word from Melissa: "If we look like bimbos or scientists that is what we will be cast as."How does one look like a scientist exactly? It's the pocket protector, isn't it? This damn thing. I knew there was a reason I wasn't landing lumberjack parts. Fanboys, quick! More pics of Melissa after the jump.
No stranger to making a sissy, Kevin James is now slated to go boom. Sony and Columbia have signed James to star in the action movie Here Comes the Boom. Salma Hayek is in talks for the female lead. If she is to sign on, this will be the second time her mammeries have starred opposite James's.The script is written by James and The Zookeeper scribe Rock Reuben, who is also a veteran of "The King of Queens." Though the log-line is being kept under wraps, the title conjurs up an image for me of the portly star slo-mo diving away from an explosion or toward a wedding cake. Maybe both. One way or the other, a cake is totally screwed in this movie. (Variety)
Go on, soak it up. Here's the first image of Chris Hemsworth as Marvel's next blockbuster busting character Thor. I'm diggin' the snake skin sleeve. It's like a Hot Topic superhero version of UnderArmor. That material soaks up sweat and brings it to the outside layer so it can dry faster, yo.My guess is the marketing bigwigs are revealing elements of Thor slowly and methodically. As you'll notice, there's no helmet or hammer in the above pic. Also, it's a close-up, so we don't get a good idea of what Thor is brooding over. My first inclination was he's taking a crap, but then I thought it's ridiculous to take a crap with your cape still on. Now if you'll excuse me, my morning coffee is taking effect. **Unbuttons cape, waddles to bathroom** (Yahoo)
Dianna Agron, best known for her cheerleader roles on "Glee" and "Heroes," has joined the cast of I Am Number Four to play a… cheerleader. In the DJ Caruso-directed film, Agron will dump her jock boyfriend to cozy up to alien refugee Alex Pettyfer. Also on board are Sharlto Copley as Pettyfer's guardian and Teresa Palmer as Number Six.The movie based on a novel co-authored by James Frey, tells the story of nine alien children who escape to Earth after being hunted by a hostile race. There they hide in Middle America where they shift nervously in their seats whenever Syfy shows reruns of "Roswell." (THR)
This recut "Seinfeld" footage does a fantastic job turning George Constanza into a decent, compassionate, caring individual. His lack of cynicism makes me itchy underneath my skin. Bring back Independent George. Relationship George is a pussy. (BuzzFeed)These links…are makin' me thirsty!Jackie Earle Haley on 'Nightmare on Elm Street' (Moviefone)How to Be a Porn Star Magnet (Asylum)Lindsay Lohan Gets Trigger-Happy Pics (PopEater) 25 Women With Mustaches (HolyTaco)Brendan Fraser: Kind of a Spaz (FilmDrunk)Humans vs. Animals in Movies (Unreality)Cheating Coach Caught On Camera (TotalProSports)Found Porn (Maxim)Jonathan Goulet Had to Choke a B*tch Out (CagePotato)Miley Cyrus Can Not Wait to Get Naked (CelebJihad)25 Toothless Hockey Players (Smosh)10 Movies That Take Place in One Day (Pajiba)Gaining Wealth Through Wealth Seminars (Atom)Best Ways to Break Your Bad Habits (MadeMan)Earnhardt Jr. National Enquirer Story (AllLeftTurns)30 Entertaining "Meanwhile in" Pics (RegretfulMorning)
As previously reported, Adam McKay has a serious case of the frownies today. After severely cutting the budget, Anchorman 2 is still a no-go with Paramount. There was a glimmer of hope earlier this week when the original cast agreed to cut their prices, but Paramount decided to pass all the same.I imagine it went something like this:ADAM McKAY: So there you have it, The Further Legends of Ron Burgundy!!PARAMOUNT EXEC: Very funny. But I'll need to consult with my adviser.SLAMS MAGIC 8 BALL DOWN ON DESK.PARMOUNT EXEC: Oooh. It is decidely not so. MWUHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!MAGIC 8 BALL: MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!A TEAM OF BAYWATCH WRITERS CLOSES DOOR ON McKAY'S FACE.(via /Film)
Shia LaBeouf has signed on to star in The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman in commercial director Dante Ariola's feature debut. Quick question about Dante Ariola, is that his real name or the one he uses when performing burlesque? I guess that doesn't matter right now.In the film, LaBeouf stars as Charlie Countryman. Just a normal dude who likes to hang and chill and maybe kick around the hack. Then he meets Gabi, but sadly she's already claimed by a violent crime boss. Charlie must take several sh*t-kickings to woo her. This sounds like Dante's Peak to Scott Pilgrim's Volcano. Those two movies somehow found a way to make lava boring, let's hope Countryman doesn't do the same for sh*t-kickings. (/Film)
A Malkovich handshake. We get it. He's got an ugly face. But the Jonah Hex trailer wants to make sure you fully understand that fact. Josh Brolin plays a scarred bounty hunter charged with hunting down his oldest enemy (John Malkovich, unfortunately not playing himself) who is preparing to unleash Hell. Megan Fox shows off her heaving bosom in a corset as another sexy dame that can shoot a gun with the greatest of ease. Also, Daniels from "The Wire" provides Jonah with weapons, and Will Arnett has a mustache and a word of advice. The only thing that's missing is Kenneth Branagh operating a mechanical spider. I'd like to see Jonah come up with a quippy one-liner for that. One that Will Smith doesn't already own. Check out the trailer after the jump. Jonah Hex saddles up in theaters June 18, 2010.
Kim Raver kept Jack Bauer under control in 24, and then a sh*tstorm of TV roles followed. She was in "The Nine" (cancelled), "Lipstick Jungle" (cancelled), and now she's laid her head down on "Grey's Anatomy." Make yourself comfortable, Kim. A word from Kim: "I always wanted to be a superhero."Get bitten by something. I think that's how it usually works. I call myself Malaria Man. Check out more of Kim's anatomy after the jump.
Just in time for the Oaks Celebration of the 136th Kentucky Derby, we have the trailer for Secretariat. Directed by Randall Wallace, it stars Diane Lane as a horse owner with a vagina (GASP!), that attempts to lead her thoroughbred to Triple Crown glory. John Malkovich co-stars as the horse's trainer and personal stylist. Here that swelling score? That means you can lump this one into Disney's growing catalogue of "Animals Who Defy the Odds to Blow Your F*cking Mind." To differentiate it from Seabiscuit, the filmmakers could have taken a few liberties with the material. My suggestion: the true story of a horse who ate too much, and lounged around like he was in the Caribbean. Here's an artist's interpretation of what that may look like. Check out the trailer after the jump. Secretariat charges into theaters October 8, 2010.
Princess Leia Bikini Car Wash – Watch more Funny VideosMay cause heart palpitations, nausea, and even death in some nerds. Watch with extreme caution, and a Darth Vader mask on. (FilmDrunk)
Director: Randall WallaceCast: Diane Lane, John Malkovich, James Cromwell, Dylan WalshSynopsis: The life story of Penny Chenery, owner of the racehorse Secretariat, who won the Triple Crown in 1973.Release Date: October 8, 2010
Ah, now all the kids on my bus route will get my Commando references. Fox has hired David Ayer (Harsh Times, Street Kings) to write and direct a remake of THE BEST FILM EVER. A former Navy soldier, Ayer is putting his own real world spin on the character formerly played by Schwarzenegger. This time around, the elite commando on a mission to rescue his daughter will be "less brawny, but more skilled in covert tactics and weaponry."Ayer now needs to figure out how to make the film car-centric. That's the only bump on the road to getting Jason Statham to agree to star. (Deadline)