I don't think Spike TV is even trying anymore, you guys. In an obvious ploy to lure Juggalo viewers, they've announced that they have picked up the six-episode series Bloodied Midgets Half Pint Brawlers. The series, billed as Jackass meets Little People, Big World, (or sh*t meets fart, by me) documents a traveling band of little people as they hop from ring to ring beating the crap out of themselves. This is a wonderful opportunity for advertisers. I don't want to tell them how to run their business, but the makers of size XS Zoo York t-shirts had best strike while the iron's hot. (THR)
How Michael Ian Black Makes a Childrens Book – Watch more Funny VideosThe relationship between author and illustrator can be a volatile one, especially when Michael Ian Black is the author and he thinks your drawings suck in comparison to his words. Black has just released a new children's book entitled The Purple Kangaroo, and it appears from the above video that him and illustrator Peter Brown had some disagreements on the overall style of the project. Brown only wants to seek a common ground, and Black only wants to wipe his ass with the preliminary sketches. While writing that last sentence I realized that both of these men have surnames that are colors. The colors of most poop. For that reason alone they should get along.These links are very accommodating.25 Hilarious Storefronts (HolyTaco) Coach Throws Ball at Player's Head (TotalProSports) 5 Oscar Longshots We're Rooting For (Moviefone) Day of the Dolphin is a Movie That Exists (FilmDrunk) Punch-Face of the Week: Jay Hieron vs. Joe Riggs (CagePotato) People Dressed as Simpsons, Family Guy, and South Park (Unreality) Porn Star Gives an S&M Tutorial (Asylum) Nic Cage's Magical Mystery Hair (Maxim) Michael Jackson's 3D Grammys Tribute (SuperTremendous) Olivia Wilde in Italian GQ Magazine (CelebJihad) 10 Most Egregious Oscar Snubs of 2010 (Pajiba) 25 Sexy Motivational Posters (TheChive) Terry the Bi, Bi-Polar, Polar Bear (Atom) How to Be a Spy in a Week (MadeMan) Biggest Off-Season Rumors of 2010 (AllLeftTurns)
"I'm gonna get you so good, Sam Worthington." Up until now, all the materials we've seen from Clash of the Titans have focused mainly on Liam Neeson's permed beard, monster-fighting, and the Monsters of Rock soundtrack. The new international trailer offers a change of pace by taking a breath to set up the plot of the movie. It seems that the mortals have drawn the ire of Hades so naturally it's statue-tumbling time. To make matters worse, the humans rebel against the Gods which provokes Zeus to the point where he's forced to use his shockwave fist-slam (that's how you know when he's pissed). Then, it's all out war and Gemma Arterton shows up to act stalkery. After that, it's mainly what we've seen before: Sam Worthington fighting the Starship Troopers bugs, an Orc, that monster from Pan's Labyrinth, and those angel-monsters that were out-of-place in Max Payne. And, of course, it closes with Liam Neeson releasing his Kraken. Seriously Liam, quit whipping that thing out all the time. Check out the trailer after the jump.
Remember in Ong Bak 2 when Tony Jaa vaulted off an elephant's face in order to kick a guy extra hard (footage here)? How do you top that? With more elephants, stupid. And this time dress them up. Audiences like it when animals think they're people. The trailer for Ong Bak 3 has arrived. I'm not totally sure about the film's plot specifics (or if it has one), but I can tell you that Tony Jaa is going to kick dudes' asses in ways you never thought possible. For instance, in the trailer he uses his own groin to smack a guy in the face. Imagine how bad you would feel if a dude beat you senseless using his donger as a weapon. I didn't know that could be done. Is d*ckboxing a thing? (Film School Rejects) Watch guys get knocked off elephants after the jump…
Dancin and Breakin Predators – Watch more Funny VideosFirst there was the Predator Rap, and now those wily aliens have gone and put a dance routine together. Even with all the armor these Predators can pop and lock like a crew with true cred. Lionel Douglass -AKA- Big "D" is a member of the original Don Campbellock dance group the "Lockers." He is also the creator of this ridiculous display. Never have Predators looked so unintimidating.
DIRECTOR: Tony JaaCAST: Tony Jaa; Saranyu Wonggrajang; Primrata Dechudom; Nirutti Sirijanya; ElephantsSYNOPSIS: The legend of Ong Bak 3 begins after Tien (Tony Jaa) has lost his fighting skills and his beloved stepfather at the Garuda’s Wing cliff from the raid led by Jom Rachan (Saranyu Wonggrajang). Tien is brought back to life with the help from Pim (Primrata Dechudom) as well as Mhen (Petchai Wongkamlao) and the Kana Khone villagers. Deep into the meditation taught by Phra Bua (Nirutti Sirijanya), Tien finally is able to achieve ‘Nathayut’. His talents are put to the test again when his rivals including the Golden-Armored King’s Guard (Supakorn ‘Tok’ Kijusuwan), the mysterious killers in black, and Bhuti Sangkha (Dan Chupong) return for the final massive showdown.
Annie Wersching is from my hometown of St. Louis, Missouri, so that automatically makes her awesome. We do breed some fiiiiiiine women in the Show Me State. I have yet to figure out if it's due to Budweiser replacing the drinking water.A word from Annie: "Acting gave me the opportunity to do outrageous things."Hmmm, when Googling Annie I came across no spicy pictorials or mentionings of nude scenes. If she's going to say she's done outrageous things can a brotha at least get a lingerie spread?The pics after the jump will leave you wanting.
Anticipation for the sixth and final season of LOST is reaching a fever pitch. Fans of the show are surely planning viewing parties for tomorrow night's premiere (kinda messed that I wasn't invited). If you are among the many eager to see what happens this season on Craphole Island, ABC has a little treat for you. In addition to the first 4 minutes of the season premiere, ABC has lifted the embargo on new footage. So instead of showing us a whole lot of nothing, they've lovingly crafted this slick trailer from brand new footage. Have a glimpse at what the fates have in store for all of your favorite characters and Sayid. And please reconsider not having me in your home for your viewing party. I promise not to giggle during the love scenes this year. (SL Lost)FIND THE ANSWERS AFTER THE JUMP…
In the upcoming film From Paris with Love, John Travolta brings back one of Hollywood's favorite archetypes – the "Loose Cannon."ScreenJunkies thought it would be best to bring in a psychologist to analyze our favorite loose cannon partners.
"Get your own elder-porn!"Universal is eager to put Jason Bourne back on screens but have had some difficulty churning out another amnesia spy thriller. In the three years since The Bourne Ultimatum was released, they've tried to no avail to get a script. Director Paul Greengrass has cut and run and taken Matt Damon with him. So what does a studio do in this situation?If you said "reboot in 3D", you're almost right and there's a job waiting for you at Sony. In the case of Bourne however, the studio may be biding their time with a prequel according to Matt Damon. "There'll probably be a prequel of some kind with another actor and another director before we do another one. Just because I think we're probably another five years away from doing it – we've got to get a script. If you have any ideas, call Universal. They'd love for you to get in touch!"That could be pretty cool actually. We'll get to see Jason Bourne in his spying and parkouring glory. This two big questions though; a) how young will they go? And, b) how do we keep Channing Tatum far away from this project? (Empire)
I'm only going to show you this if you promise to be good. Below is a video containing the first four minutes of the final season of LOST. I feel no need to offer a SPOILER ALERT!!! because I've already made it clear this is the first four minutes of the sixth and final season. If you can't wait until this Tuesday at 8/7c on ABC then go ahead and watch now. But you have to promise to keep your sh*t together after. I don't want this little taste to get you jonesin' for more that simply isn't in supply.
Someone decided to "turn" a tad prematurely. Here are your weekend links.25 People Kicked in the Nuts (HolyTaco)A 1/2 Rotation Backflip Can be Painful (TotalProSports)Hot Girls in Mirrors Make Great Photographers (TheChive)Lessons We've Learned from Gambling Movies (Moviefone)8 Wettest & Wildest Videos (Maxim)Farther Down the Juggalo Rabbit Hole (FilmDrunk)Where the Wild Sopranos Are (Manofest)10 Most Indelible Characters of the Last 100 Years (Pajiba)"Pants on the Ground" Singer Found Dead (CelebJihad)You Cannot Beat the J.J. Abrams Board Game (Unreality)Best Videos of the iPad Backlash (Asylum)8 Rejected iPad Prototypes (RegretfulMorning)6 Best Beer and Grub Combos (MadeMan)Will Hamlin's Injury Affect His 2010 Season (AllLeftTurns)
"Did you just place a LATKA in front of me?" Mel Gibson does crazy well, both on screen and off. Our friends over at Moviefone were tolerant enough to scour through all of his rants and compile them in to one neat little tirade. It's only the movie stuff though, so don't expect much anti-semitism or disrespect towards female police officers. Such comments are only reserved for real life.
"Hmmm… you kind of look like a greyhound when you take your shirt off." Maybe I was too hard on She's Out Of My League the last time I wrote about it. Probably not but maybe. The red band trailer has inserted itself into the warm, fleshy pocket that is the Internet and rubbed a few laughs against its walls.For the most part, it's what we've already seen; nerdy guy obtains seemingly-unobtainable girl and his friends and family are dicks about the whole thing. However, the new scenes added indicate that this movie is a lot more inventive than the cheaply cranked-out Road Trip: Beer Pong or American Pie Presents cinemabortions. Some people say adding "f*cks" for funny is just a crutch. I say hobble on over here. I may have to give this one half of a half of a chance. Early ruling: two out of five Eugene Levys (note: Eugene Levys are not good awards to receive). Check out the NSFW trailer here.
The graphic novel The Losers has transmovieafied its way to the big screen and today we have the trailer. It's the standard elite team of emissaries are betrayed by Jason Patric plot. But it looks like it could be fun. It borrows a good deal of its charm from The Italian Job and the Ocean's films and rests that on the shoulders of a cast comprised of rising stars. Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Idris Elba, and a nerdy Chris Evans (and his mind bullets) have a great rapport. This looks like it will either be a modest hit or a fun but forgettable mid-season film. Not all of the jokes hit in this trailer. For instance, after Elba successfully blows up a SUV with a homemade rocket launcher, he exclaims, "I'm the black MacGuyver! BlaGuyver!!" We'll never see a black MacGuyver in our lifetimes. MacGuyver's love of ice hockey makes that an impossibility. (MSN) Watch the trailer after the jump…
Lucy Lawless is best known for her role as Xena the Warrior Princess, the ass kicking hot chick who may or may not have been a lesbian. Although she's done lots of television and film in her career, the image of her in her warrior skirt, beating the crap out of stunt men in ancient Greek attire, will forever be stuck in my head.A word from Lucy: "I have less and less control and I'm more disinhibited every day."Put on your Warrior Princess garb, walk down the streets of Hollywood, and cut the head off of any person who rubs you the wrong way. It's really the only way to deal with that crowd.Maintain control as you check out more pics after the jump.
The Muppet Gang leisurely rushes Kermit to the hospital. Flight of the Conchords co-creator James Bobin has been given the go-ahead to direct Disney's New Muppet Movie, he just has to decide if he wants to play with dolls all day. The choice could prove to be a difficult one considering Judd Apatow is also tugging on Bobin's sleave to direct his new movie Bridemaids, written by awkward-character-playing SNL cast member Kristen Wiig. "What to do, what to do?!" screams Bobin's conscience. One would think Bobin would like to dive head first in to Apatow's bouncy castle of go-to guys, but taking the reins of a Muppet Movie written by Jason Segel and Forgetting Sarah Marshall director Nicholas Stoller could give his feature career the soft, furry kick in the pants it needs. With Bobin et al manning The Muppets, we're sure to get something more edgy than pies in the face and spinning bowties on bears. But I'm not expecting hot pig-on-frog action either. (Vulture)
We're through the looking glass here, people. Caligula director Tinto Brass has announced that due to Avatar, the technology now exists to film a Cleveland Steamer in stereoscopic 3D.The Italian erotic director plans to "revisit an abandoned project about a Roman emperor that was ruined by Americans, and go from there." It's obvious that Brass has sour grapes (hehe) with his Caligula partners, who added hardcore sex scenes without his consent to the famously terrible film. The movie was so bad in fact, that Roger Ebert referred to it as "sickening, utterly worthless, shameful trash," and "the worst piece of sh*t I've ever masturbated to." Just because we have the ability, doesn't necessarily mean that we should use it. As technology burgeons, this debate will continue and deserves considerable thought. We need to be careful how we move forward as a society with cloning, stem cells, nuclear weapons, and the illusion that a vagina is squirting directly at you. (THR)
A new poster for Hot Tub Time Machine goes beyond the red band trailer to reveal the secret of time travel. Scientists are going to kick their own asses in the balls when they see how simple the formula was all along. Using simple algebra, one combines energy drink, vodka, and a squirrel. Add that to four mismatched friends and divide the sum by a hot tub.Let's sincerely hope those components do not actually unlock space and time. Ted Nugent probably has a hot tub and more than likely he's tripping over crunk juice and squirrels. I don't want to imagine a reality where he has traveled back through time and become our overlord. He'll hunt us all. (EW)
Mel Gibson has been working on a documentary entitled Wiggly Piggly: The Jimmy Kimmel Story. It looks like The Passion of the Christ, but with more ice cream. That was my biggest complaint about that movie. Not enough ice cream.(BuzzFeed)These links are delicious a la mode. 25 People Punched in the Face (HolyTaco)Step in to the Octagon with Carina Damm (TotalProSports)#1 College Woman on the Web (TheChive)Defense Corporations: The New Supervillain (Moviefone)Aussie Tennis Babes (Maxim)Lindsay Lohan to Play Topless Ho (FilmDrunk)Pooping in Outer Space (Manofest)10 Best Movies of 2010: A Prediction (Pajiba)Mila Kunis GQ Magazine Outtakes (CelebJihad)10 Amazing Japanese Video Game Commercials (Unreality)2010 Nominees for the Robot Hall of Fame (Asylum)Will You Get Laid on Valentine's Day? (RegretfulMorning)Dating Out of Your League (MadeMan)A Few Moments with Ned Jarrett (AllLeftTurns)
Somewhere Kevin Smith smokes wistfully.After 31 years of bringing groundbreaking, original films and the Scary Movies to a national audience, independent film studio Miramax will shutter its doors. The New York and LA offices will close today and 80 staff members will be dismissed.In other news, J.D. Salinger passed away today at the age of 91.File photoThe famous author and recluse would have taken particular joy in seeing a movie studio closed. It's a shame he didn't hang on a little bit longer to enjoy this moment. Though I guess it's for the best. The smile frozen on his corpse would really freak out all the little ones at his wake. (The Wrap)
The world sure has changed since the 1980's. Gordon Gekko sees this first-hand, as he is released from prison in the teaser for Oliver Stone's Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps. It seems that black people are now permitted to be passengers in limousines rather than being relegated to the role of sass-mouthed driver. Greed has been legalized. Text-projected-unnecessarily-on-face technology has grown by leaps and bounds. As has cell phone technology as Gekko learns in a wink-wink That 80's Show-inspired bit. Also, Brand from The Goonies appears to have done pretty well for himself. Seriously though, if only Michael Douglas knew somebody of Welsh descent with ties to T-Mobile. Dude's in need of a nationwide 3G network with flexible contracts like whoa. Check out the trailer, and Douglas's Zack Morris phone, after the jump.
Chyler Leigh played the She's All That Rachael Leigh Cook character in the parody Not Another Teen Movie. Now she's playing Grey's little sister on that show women like called Grey's Anatomy. Is it just me, or does Ellen Pompeo have a weird lookin' face? Kind of a gnarled lip? No?A word from Chyler: "I watched She's All That at least 15 times."That's how many times it takes to fully comprehend that Freddy Prince Jr. can't act his way out of an American Crew pomade container.Look at the pics after the jump at least 15 times.
Charlize Theron and David Fincher are teaming up to develop the book "Mind Hunter: Inside the FBI's Elite Serial Crime Unit," into a series for HBO. The show is shedding the marblemouth title and sticking with the more simplistic Mind Hunter. Not to be confused with Renny Harling's crap-terpiece Mind Hunters, starring Christian Slater and LL Cool J.The book, by John Douglas and Mark Olshaker, recounts Douglas's experience as a top FBI investigator of serial killers and rapists and his profiling techniques. So it's essentially an HBO version of CBS's Criminal Minds. The main difference being this version will have swears and no soap actors. This isn't a bad idea at all. Fincher and Theron both have proven track records, and there's no way this show will give any serial killers the edge in the War On Killing People. If there's one thing that movies have taught me, methodical serial killers HATE complex games of cat and mouse. It's right up there with sending menacing letters to newspapers on their list of dislikes. (Collider)
MacGruber Set Full of Hotties – Watch more Funny VideosThe one thing about MacGruber, there's a whole lotta hotties with bodies on set. Don't believe me? Check out this behind the scenes footage narrated by the film's director Jorma Taccone. He's quick to point out all the dirty tail struttin' around the premises. Some people give it up so easily. No self-respect. (TVSquad)
If you say Zac Efron really fast, it sounds like the name of a pharmaceutical. Like, side effects of Zacefron may cause jazz hands. But that's besides the point. The point of this article is that the High School Musical, Me and Orson Welles star is trying the action genre on for size.In Fire, Efron plays a college student recruited by the CIA to work as an assassin around the world. Things get complicated when he learns that NAMBLA has set their sights on him he himself may be targeted for assassination. That's an intriguing premise and Brian Michael Bendis, the writer, has a sharp style so let's hope this will be more Bourne and less Agent Cody Banks. We won't know for sure until we can safely say that Corbin Bleu has been barred from the set. (Deadline Hollywood)
Quigley Trailer Stars Gary Busey as a Dog – Watch more Funny VideosThis movie actually exists. Quigley stars Gary Busey as a cold-hearted, dog-hating billionaire who dies and is reincarnated on Earth as a Pomeranian that has an affinity for video games. BUY IT NOW.These links also exist.25 Funny Tombstones (HolyTaco) Shirts Optional in the Blackhawks Party Limo (TotalProSports) Even More Hot Girls on Facebook (TheChive) It's Okay to Play with These Bond Girl Barbies (Moviefone) 21 Awesome Jelly Bean Portraits (Maxim) The Darker Side of Siskel & Ebert (FilmDrunk) 20 Unfortunate CAPTCHAs (SuperTremendous) Ten Worst Movies of 2010 (Pajiba) Jen Aniston Hiding in Brad Pitt's Bathtub (CelebJihad) Top 5 Movies Based on SNL Sketches (Unreality) Bikini Vegemite Wrestling Gets Messy (Asylum) 6 Woman Who Equal First Date Disaster (RegretfulMorning) All the iPad Info You Require (MadeMan) Why Denny Hamlin's Injury is a Good Thing (AllLeftTurns) Abrams Tank Explodes Suspicious Car (NothingToxic) Buy Apple's iFreak Before It Sells Out (Atom)
Kim Jong-il look-a-like/actress who scared the crap out of six-year old me, Zelda Rubinstein, has passed away. The actress, best known as Tangina in the Poltergeist films, was taken off life support two months ago after two major organs failed her. She eventually succumbed to these ailments earlier today at the age of 76. Tragically, another victim to the rumored Poltergeist curse. It just won't stop until it has Craig T. Nelson in its icy clutches. (Radar)
I did saber toothed tiger fangs 'cause they're funnier. Leave the room if you got a problem.Sam Worthington, who must have made a pact with the Devil to achieve his current "it" status, has signed on to play the "it" vampire in Dracula Year Zero. The film, which is being directed by Alex Proyas (he worked with Nic Cage so we should be good), explores the origin of Dracula in a tragic love story chalk full of love and war shrouded in homoerotic nuance no doubt.Worthington already played a cyborg and an alien, he'll soon be seen as a Greek hero in Clash of the Titans, and now he can add a cape and widow's peak latex cap to his costume drawer. I'd say he's about as versatile an actor as Gary Oldman.As Vince from FilmDrunk would say, "That tastes like a burn."(LatinoReview, THR)
Keanu Reeves has signed on to star in Gabriele Muccino's Passengers, a date-rape love story with a sci-fi bent. Set in the future, Reeves is a member of a crew on board a spacecraft making a 100-year trip to a new planet via cryogenic sleep. 10 years into their journey, he is woken up and doomed to spend the rest of his life on the craft. So what does he do? Well, when fapping gets old he commits the ultimate dick move and wakes up the hottest chick with the hope that she'll want to join the 200,000 Mile High Club with him. But will she want to knock moon-boots once she finds out it was he who woke her? Not if she doesn't find out.We got our hands on an exclusive script excerpt. Check it out:
KEANU REEVES is reluctant to wake up the HOT CHICK. He lightly taps on her cryotube. It gets louder and louder. KEANU Hey… you up? Hey. (beat) You up? (longer beat) HEY!!! HOT CHICK awakes. KEANU Oh, hey. You’re up.(Variety)