The past week has been a tough one for celebrity grovelers like myself. First, Ed McMahon (sidekick of sidekicks) passes, then Farrah Fawcett, then Michael Jackson, and perhaps the most surreal, Mr. “As Seen on TV” Billy Mays. Not to sound crass, but Farrah and Ed were quite past their primes and neither passed suddenly (Ed was old and Farrah had battled cancer for a long time). So really, it’s a race to who was the biggest Celebrity death:
Daybreakers Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers Oh, Isabel Lucas… only you can elevate Transformers Revenge of the Fallen to the level of "serviceable," even if your Decepticon character was the most misguided Transformer ever. You're also the shining ray of light in this otherwise dystopian trailer for the new vampire film Daybreakers. It's got dark, moody lighting… music by Placebo… and hissing. Throw in a couple Mexican Pizzas from Taco Bell and you've got every night every overweight single forty-something spends living in his parents' basement. Put Down the Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Rope And Check Out These Links: Melissa Buhl Is Quite Attractive (Gorillamask) 6 Ridiculous Products Only Billy Mays Could Have Sold (Holytaco) Michael Bay And Steven Spielberg Produce James Frey's Number 4 (Filmdrunk) 10 Female Child Stars Who Became Mega-Hotties (Manofest) iPhone Icons Reveal Narcissistic Traits (Walyou) Alan Cumming Is The Green Goblin In Broadway Adaptation Of Spider-Man, Plus More Music News (Pajiba) 6 Items You Touch Everyday That Are Filthier Than Your Toilet (Cracked) A Preemptive Obituary For Alan Thicke (Sickpigs) A Comprehensive Guide For SFW Boobs (Coedmagazine) Tito Jackson Found Alive At Age 55 (Celebjihad) 6 Tips To Survive Couple's Game Night (Mademan) Limp Bizkit Will Not Peform At UFC 100… Does Anyone Care? (Cagepotato) 5 Ways To Make The Office Much Better (Unreality) Meet Pabst, World's Ugliest Dog 2009 (Asylum) A Message To Fat Streakers At Baseball Games (Bustedcoverage) In Case You Didn't Notice, Perez Hilton Is Annoying (Uncoached) 42 Unfortunate Product Labels (Regretfulmorning) Rum In American History (Bachelorguy) The 5 Most Underrated Players In The NFL (Moondogsports) You've Probably Drank Too Much When This Just Randomly Happens (Nothingtoxic) The Most Disturbing Animals On Earth (Atomfilms) Havana Nocturne Is Being Adapted By Some Prominent Producers (Filmofilia)
Where You've Seen Her: The très, trés French starlet Marion Cotillard doesn't have a ton of American flicks under her ceinture just yet, but she's already won a Best Actress Oscar for her performance as chanteuse Edith Piaf in 2007's La Vie En Rose. In Public Enemies, she plays Billie Frechette, John Dillinger's (Johnny Depp) lady friend. Look for her in The Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan's upcoming mega-budgeted sci-fi Inception, where she'll be one of the more reasonably priced special effects. A Word From Marion: My parents always told me that if you want something, you can do whatever you have to do to get it. As long as it's not against someone else. Check out the hot photos of Marion "Fair Play" Cotillard after the jump:
There are times in recent years when I am not sure if I am watching the News or "Access Hollywood." The reporting is as equally superficial and shallow for both nowadays. Nancy O'Dell should be a news correspondent for FOX, CNN, or MSNBC; she looks the part and can clearly read a teleprompter as good as the other "women journalists" at these corporate news channels. Which one is Nancy O’Dell from "Access Hollywood" and which one is a "serious journalist?" I have no idea, either.
Tonight, National Geographic Channel is airing an all-new documentary called "Hitler's Stealth Fighter." Apparently in the final months of World War II, American troops discovered a top-secret facility in Germany with an advanced, jet-propelled aircraft like no one had ever seen before. It was called "The Horten Ho 229." It was shaped like a massive bat wing… like something out of Star Wars. But its wooden body was most definitely man-made. So what did Uncle Sam's army do with it? Well, they brought back to the United States to be studied, of course. And everything that they learned about the Third Reich's mystery plane stayed a mystery… until now. Screen Junkies had a chance to check out an advance screener of the doc, and it's definitely worth watching. Aside from showing you this prototype of airborne insidiousness inside and out, it also makes you think about what might have happened had Hitler and the Nazis gotten their plane manufactured en masse and into the skies. It's some scary scheisse. "Hitler's Stealth Fighter" airs tonight at 9PM ET/PT on National Geographic Channel. Check out some more images and clips after the jump:
ARMAGEDDON FTW! – Watch more Funny Videos It was a wild ride full of BANGs, POPs, BOOMs, KAPOWs, and several WHOOSHes, but once all the proverbial dust settled the asteroid with a mission to send earth back to the dark ages took the prize. Sometimes it’s the movies with the most ridiculous plots that have the best pyrotechnics. Keep that in mind all you young filmmakers as your professors drill the importance of story into your heads. Stand up from your desk in defiance, stick out your middle finger and shout, “F*ck you, teach! Gimme more explosions!” THE WEEKEND'S TOP LINKS: Sarah Lyons Is Busty In A Variety Of Places (Gorillamask) Drunken Argument: Mexican Food Or Chinese Food? (Holytaco) James Franco Trashes A Nice Bedroom (Filmdrunk) The 50 Funniest Street Signs Of All Time (Manofest) Robot Penguin Pet Is Internet Capable, Loveable (Walyou) Everything About Tyler Perry Is Annoying (Pajiba) The 5 Most Hated Creatures On The Planet That Don't Deserve It (Cracked) Michael Jackson Is Dead, Douches Try To Exploit Tragedy (Sickpigs) Drunken Party Girl Boob Circles (Coedmagazine) Hot Models Prevent Ugly Scene At UFC Photoshoot (Cagepotato) Sucky Toys From Foreign Gift Shops (Unreality) The Best Of Awful Best Man Speeches (Asylum) Wouldn't It Be Nice To Have A Beer Tap In Your Home? (Mademan) Spike TV's New Show: "John And Cake Plus Six" (Celebjihad) Food Landscapes Made With Bacon And Other Assorted Meats (Uncoached) 7 Bizarre Objects That Were Found Lodged In Hind-Quarters (Regretfulmorning) Essentials For Building Your Own Poker Room (Bachelorguy) Heidi Montag And Spencer Pratt Are Banned From E! (Moondogsports) Quick Knee To The Face Ends A Fight Real Quick (Nothingtoxic) Inappropriate Workplace: Copy And Feel (Atomfilms) Zach Snyder Is Really Trying To Do A 300 Sequel? (Filmofilia)
Welcome to the final day of BAYWATCH '09. To recap, we've revisited Bay's Best Music Videos, Pitted Bay's Explosions against one another in the Bracket of Boom, ogled his "Baybes" and collected emails from his personal account. For the last day, we're getting inside the man's head. Strap on your safety goggles and flak jackets. By Ian Sobel
CLICK TO ENLARGEHere are today's top links:Nikki Long On The Beach With Only A Shawl (Gorillamask)Powerpoint Presentation: So You've Decided To Fart In Public (Holytaco)Gerard Butler Says Boobies A Lot In This Redband The Ugly Truth Clip (Filmdrunk)The 10 Most Annoying Commercials On TV Right Now (Manofest)Make Your NES Fly With The Pimpendo Mod (Walyou)Zak Penn Is Penning The Avengers Script (Pajiba)The 8 Crappiest Transformer Disguises (Cracked)Mr. T Gives Awful Dating Advice To Gary Coleman (Sickpigs) 210 'WTF Were They Thinking' Tattoos (Coedmagazine)MMA Fighter Turned Bank Robber Released From Prison, Then Arrested Again (Cagepotato)Summer Blockbuster Drinking Game (Mademan)10 Classic Funny Moments From Billy Madison (Unreality)Capital Punishment Needs A Hollywood Makeover (Asylum)Missouri Senior Raechel Holtgrave, AKA Hooters Girl Of The Year (Bustedcoverage) The 10 Sexiest Big Brother Videos (Uncoached)How To Watch Porn With A 56k Modem (Regretfulmorning)Beer Is Good Food (Bachelorguy)NBA Draft: Who Is Going Second? (Moondogsports)
Well lookee what we got here, boys! Last round, the asteroid rocked the The Rock's missile and the Giant F**king Robot 'splodin' the bus beat out the combustible mansion. Even Michael Bay, with his infinite wisdom and soothsaying powers, told us in a conversation that didn’t really happen that he was literally BLOWN AWAY by the results. Now we're down to the Big Boom and the tension is so palpable you could masticate it like a big ol' bag of Big League Chew. THE FINAL MATCHUP
It's Day 4 of BAYWATCH '09. Transformers Revenge of the Fallen has opened to huge numbers as expected, and we've given you the Michael Bay goods in the form of a Music Video Retrospective, an Explosions Tourney pitting the best Bay BOOMs against each other, and a giant gallery of Michael Bay's Babes. Now it's time for a look at the more personal, introspective side of the man…
THE BOX Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos Above is the new trailer for the not-so-new-but-unreleased The Box, starring Cameron Diaz, James Marsden as a young, innocent couple from The South and Frank Langella as a devilish man who presents the couple with a big red button that, when pressed, kills a random stranger. Why, pray tell, would one want to push a button that kills someone? Well because the pusher is rewarded with an attaché case full of money. This is either the dumbest idea for a horror movie or the best Staples commercial in the history of the brand. Here Are Today's Top Links:Karlie Madelyn Is Obviously Bothered By Her Already Scant Clothing (Gorillamask) 7 Types Of Cockblockers (Holytaco) News Of A Hitman 2 Is Happening (Filmdrunk) The 10 Douchiest Michael Bay Scenes Of All Time (Manofest) Samurai Sword Umbrella, Or: The Coolest Invention Ever (Walyou) The 5 Most Unattractive Hot Women (Pajiba) 13 Unintentionally Disturbing Children's Toys (Cracked) The Appropriate Way To Respond To An Employment Rejection (SickPigs) The 5 Stages Of A Drunken Night (Coedmagazine) 5 Steps To A Kickass Surround Sound System (Mademan) Amazing Backflip Breaks Fighter's Spirit To Continue (Cagepotato) Ricky Gervais Goes Badass For Cemetery Junction (Unreality) Alleged Scientology Abuse Likely Due To Lack Of Mustache (Asylum) Missouri-Area Hooters Waitresses Beat Heat By Washing Cars (Bustedcoverage) 10 Memorable Sportscenter Commercials From The 90s (Uncoached) Helpful Tips To Conceal Your Boner At The Beach (Regretfulmorning) Get Clean The Manly Way With Manly Man Soap (Bachelorguy) Vikings Interested In Someone Else; Farve Can Stay Retired (Moondogsports) Fireworks Stunt Gone Very Wrong (Nothingtoxic) Adam Carrolla Goes Over The Finer Points Of Carpentery With Andy Dick (Atomfilms) New Clips From Public Enemies (Filmofilia)
VOTING IN ROUND 2 is now CLOSED. Please Vote in the FINAL ROUND.Here comes Round 2 of Michael Bay and The Bracket of Boom. We’ve tabulated your votes from Round 1 and emerged with a new set of combustible contenders. MATCHUP #1 PREVIOUS ROUND: Transformers (59.8%) defeats Pearl Harbor (40.2%) Bad Boys II (66.3%) defeats Bad Boys (33.7%) OUTLOOK:
EXCLUSIVE REVENGE OF THE FALLEN INTERVIEW WITH STARVING ACTOR – Watch more Funny Videos Who needs to get an exclusive interview with Megan Fox or Shia LaBeouf or Optimus Prime when you can talk to the actor playing the guy who gives the pilot of Josh Duhamel and Tyrese's helicopter permission to land? Yeah, that's right. Screen Junkies has the exclusive – and we mean ONLY – interview with Transformers Revenge of the Fallen's Derek Alvarado. Suck on it, Ain't It Cool!!!
All this week, BAYWATCH '09 has given you the goods on all things that go BOOM. Monday was the 10 Best Michael Bay-directed Music Videos… Tuesday was the first ever Michael Bay Explosion Tournament… Well, it wouldn't be a proper Bay-themed week without cleavage. You're welcome.By Thomas Anderson
All this week, BAYWATCH '09 has given you the goods on all things that go BOOM. Monday was the 10 Best Michael Bay-directed Music Videos… Tuesday was the first ever Michael Bay Explosion Tournament… Well, it wouldn't be a proper Bay-themed week without cleavage. You're welcome. By Thomas Anderson It doesn’t matter how many movies Michael Bay comes out with; you still get the sense that he just might be sitting there behind the camera, sneaking a peek at Megan Fox’s stomach or Scarlet Johansson’s ass (hell, wouldn’t you?). Sometimes you wonder if he cast them simply so he could ogle them from behind the camera and create a few off-camera explosions in his pants, but you’ve got to hand it to the guy: he knows how to populate his worlds with gorgeous bombshells who are strong, independent women who often find the need to remove their clothes to save the world, or maybe just give the hero a little pick-me-up.
John Gosselin is free!!! Jon & Kate announced on their show yesterday that they are getting a divorce after ten years of marriage. I find this less surprising than the fact that they have eight children and are still legally sane. Divorce is sad, but for the kids that means twice as many Christmas presents, right?! Wait, it just means twice as much therapy? Booooo…
M. Night Shyamalan is back…but there's a twist! He's doing a kid's movie. I guess he decided to take a break from "scary" since the scariest part about his most recent films are how not scary they are. The Last Airbender is about an Avatar who has the ability to manipulate elements and bring nations together. Also, according to the trailer, he can blow out a shitload of candles with palm-breath. Call me oldfashioned, but I still prefer farts. Teresa Noreen Looks Hot On The Beach (GorillaMask) More Appropriate Album Covers (HolyTaco) Britney Spears Offered Role In Time-Traveling Holocaust Flick (FilmDrunk) 55 Ridiculous Photos Of Dogs Dressed As Humans (Manofest) Who Doesn't Need A Keyboard Designed To Look Like S'mores? (Walyou) Best Film Performances By Senior Citizens (Pajiba) Scientology's 5 Newest Celebrity Recruits (Cracked) 7 Creepy Asian Toilet Commercials (SickPigs) Weed Decriminalization Bill Proposed To House (CoedMagazine) Examinging Fight! Magazine's Inagural Hall Of Fame Class (CagePotato) 5 Minutes Of Game Footage From E3 Favorite, Uncharted 2 (Unreality) A Superficial Analysis Of The (Hottest) Wimbeldon Women (Asylum) Everyone Needs Some Funny Christopher Walken Swag (MadeMan) Sean Avery, Dude Who Made Fun Of 'Sloppy Seconds,' Now Getting Mark Sanchez' Sloppy Seconds (BustedCoverage) 10 Funny Pictures Of Celebrities As Bruce Lee (Uncoached) 5 Truthful Graduation Cards (RegretfulMorning) Get An Ornate Bowl Of Fire For Your Home (BachelorGuy) Top 10 NBA Draft Busts (MoondogSports)
Teresa Noreen Looks Hot On The Beach (GorillaMask) Britney Spears Offered Role In Time-Traveling Holocaust Flick (FilmDrunk)55 Ridiculous Photos Of Dogs Dressed As Humans (Manofest)Who Doesn't Need A Keyboard Designed To Look Like S'mores? (Walyou)Best Film Performances By A Senior Citizen (Pajiba)Scientology's 5 Newest Celebrity Recruits (Cracked)
VOTING FOR ROUND 1 IS CLOSED, BUT YOU CAN STILL VOTE FOR WHO GOES TO THE BIG BOOM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCHUP!
According to Variety, Hollywood is making yet another family film with animals that's sure to rake in millions. The Zookeeper, starring Kevin James and Rosario Dawson, centers on zoo animals trying to teach the keeper their method of dating and mating to help him win back the woman of his dreams. Cher's voicing a giraffe, Jon Favreau a bear, Sly Stallone a lion, and Judd Apatow an elephant. If the film sticks to a realistic portrayal a great deal of the advice is going to involve forceful sexual advances. In the animal kingdom, "no" doesn't mean no. When Mr. Lion is horny he takes what he wants. But surely if Kevin James persists there's going to be a HILARIOUS moment where a woman knees him in the balls.
HBO Miniseries – THE PACIFIC – Watch more MOVIE TRAILERS Above is the trailer for the Steven Spielberg/Tom Hanks-produced "The Pacific." It's a 10-Part miniseries dealing with three interwoven stories of American soldiers fighting the Japanese in the Pacific during World War II (hence the title). If you look closely, you'll notice one of the key characters is played by Joseph Mazzello, whom you will undoubtedly remember as young Tim Murphy, the grandson of John Hammond… in Jurassic Paaaaaaaaahk. I for one did a double take. We missed you, Lil' Joey. Here are today's Top Links, which also require double takes.Kellie Maines Hanging Out By The Water (GorillaMask) What Your Facial Hair Really Says About You (HolyTaco) Victoria Jackson Walked Out Of Year One, Citing Fat Gays As Problem (FilmDrunk) The 10 Sexiest Fast Food Commercials Of All Time (Manofest) Big Lebowski Bobble Heads… There's A Jesus, But No Walter? (Walyou) The Gooby Trailer Is Mildly Disturbing (Pajiba) 7 Man-Made Substances That Laugh In The Face Of Science (Cracked) Right-Wing College Students Rap About Conservatism, Lameness Ensues (SickPigs) American Grads Unemployable, Says Top Indian CEO (CoedMagazine) Extended Previews For UFC 100 (CagePotato) The 20 Best Comedies Of The Last Decade (Unreality) 11 Famous People Who Contracted Malaria (Asylum) Greg Oden, Now 21, Is Attracting All Kinds Up In The Club (BustedCoverage) Like The Giant Piano Scene In Big, But More Impressive (Uncoached) 5 Official Drinks Of Summer (RegretfulMorning) The 5 S's That Get You The Girl (BachelorGuy) Stupid Newspaper Headlines (MoondogSports) How To Cook On Your Car Engine (MadeMan) Ultra-Violent Videogames Don't Derange Kids, The World Of Warcraft Does (NothingToxic) More Of The Weirdest Games From Japan (AtomFilms) A 5-Minute Clip From The Animated Sci-Fi Flick 9 (Filmofilia)
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS Trailer #2 – Watch more Funny Videos There's a new Inglourious Basterds trailer out today, this time delving a little deeper into what the film's actual plot might be. To be honest though, I still don't really understand what's happening with this movie. My level of enthusiasm for this film comes in waves, starting at a high level when I first heard about the film, then waning when I saw the first teaser, and now just very confused about everything I'm seeing and feeling. It's kind of like the first time you had a wet dream, at this point; you're confused as to how and why it happened, and also why Brad Pitt was wearing a white tux while speaking in a thick Appalachian accent.
Kellie Maines Hanging Out By The Water (GorillaMask)What Your Facial Hair Really Says About You (HolyTaco)Victoria Jackson Walked Out Of Year One, Citing Fat Gays As Problem (FilmDrunk)The 10 Sexiest Fast Food Commercials Of All Time (Manofest)Big Lebowski Bobble Heads… There's A Jesus, But No Walter? (Walyou)The Gooby Trailer Is Mildly Disturbing (Pajiba)
It's no secret that Screen Junkies loves Michael Bay, and to celebrate the release of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, we're calling this week BAYWATCH. Every day for the next five days, there will be a new feature dedicated to Michael Bay, the man, the myth, the pyromaniac. Kicking off the week is a look back at Bay's earlier work. Before the Boom (and Bad Boys)… there was the music. Michael Bay made his reputation on making music artists look really frickin' cool based on the aesthetic standards of the day. Bay's work was dramatic. It was gorgeous. And it single-handedly supported Hollywood's "lens mist filter" and silk drapery industries for years.Here are our favorites, in chronological order. Richard Marx's "Angelia" (1989)
Above is the new trailer for World's Greatest Dad, directed by none other than comedian Bobcat Goldthwait (forever my favorite Police Academy 'new recruit') and starring Robin Williams as a washed up writer teaching high school English and trying to raise a kid on his own. The trailer makes the movie look pretty promising, with Williams taking the family comedy route he's treaded so many times before but then veering off a cliff and careening into the dark world of vagina jokes. As you can see, metaphors aren't my forté. Dare I say that Robin Williams is back? I dare.
Trailer for 2012 – Watch more Funny VideosRoland Emmerich and Michael Bay should have an explosion war. Both of them get a sick kick out of blowing up monuments, landmarks, and national treasures. In fact, they even blow up the same icons in several different movies. Why not just go back in time and punch Betsey Ross in the kidney while she's sewing the stars and stripes on the American Flag? Or better yet, have the Red Coats crash a tidal wave down on top of her. Maybe Emmerich can work that into a redux of the The Patriot. Until then, we can watch John Cusack and a motley cast of other recognizable faces outrun the end of the world much like the characters do in The Day After Tomorrow and Independence Day.
Today we received this outtake of Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert whipping sh*t on each other in between takes of their old show, "Siskel & Ebert At The Movies." I'd date this clip from about 1987, given that they're trying to get through an intro about Robocop. But they don't get through it because Siskel flubs a line. Then Ebert makes fun of Siskel's tongue-tied delivery, and then Siskel unleashes a merciless stream of fat jokes. C'mon Siskel. Fat jokes are a low blow. Then again, so is brain cancer. Good one, God. Hilarious…[Thanks to Screen Junkies reader "James S." for the tip.]Top Links of the Day: Theresa Graziadai IS HOT and Really Likes Washing Old Cars (GorillaMask)The 7 Stages Of First-Time Sex With Someone (HolyTaco)Zombies As Liberal Parable? Really? (FilmDrunk)The 200 Sexiest Female Athletes Of All Time (Manofest)Finally, A Golf Club That You Can Pee Into (Walyou)An Great Interview With The Writer Of The Proposal. We're f**ing serious! (Pajiba)6 Valuable Ways Science Reuses Human Waste (Cracked)14 Awesome Father's Day iPhone Apps (CoedMagazine)A Really Hard Kick To The Head = A Very Quick Knockout (CagePotato)Harsh Reviews Of Legendary Movies (UnrealityMag)Did Sodom Really Exist? (Asylum)Apparently They Show Crowd Fights At Baseball Games On TV In Canada (BustedCoverage)Philadelphians Don't Let Swarms Of Bees Bother Them (Uncoached)8 Ass-Kicking Explosions From Movies (RegretfulMorning)The 5 Most Over The Top Nic Cage Peformances (BachelorGuy)Tony Romo Plans On Stepping Up In 2009 (MoondogSports)What Happens When Someone Doesn't Understand Twitter (Elevator)Women In Lingerie Ride Rollercoasters (NothingToxic)More Big Budget Movies Based On Childhood Toys (AtomFilms)Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty Join Forces? (Filmofilia)
Director: Roland EmmerichCast: John Cusack, Thandie Newton, Woody Harrelson Synopsis: An epic adventure about a global cataclysm that brings an end to the world and tells of the heroic struggle of the survivors
Teen Wolf, the family-friendly cautionary tale from the 80s, could be informing a new generation of pubescents about the perils of hairy palms. Or rather, the totally awesome benefits. According to MovieHole.com, Warner Brothers is currently out to writers to update the 1985 hit starring Alex P. Keaton, a.k.a. The Fox. Apparently the execs aren't certain which way they're going to go tonally. We've already seen the high-concept comedy version, so I say they deliver a dark melodrama. Drugs, sex, violence, and attempted suicide. It'll be like a Bret Easton Ellis novel, but with fur.
By Mike Hammer We love our dad. It’s a shame people have to get old and put in facilities where they can be properly cared for. At 43, we simply felt he just wasn’t pulling his weight…and besides…detox is something NOBODY has to be ashamed of anymore. With dad in isolation and Father’s Day coming up we thought we’d relive some of our most heart-wrencing, tender and sometimes hilarious father/son conversations…from the movies. To be honest our real conversations were kind of creepy. Here are the best from the big screen: