A&E launches the single greatest reality series about an aikido champion/actor turned cop this Wednesday with Steven Seagal: Lawman (aka Fat Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans). For those not in the know, Steven Seagal has volunteered with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Department for the past 20 years. This show chronicles his main duties giving martial arts training to the officers as well as assisting with arrests. It's almost just like COPS, the only difference being the perps are arrested by the man on the poster they have framed in their living rooms. Have a look at an earlier preview or check out the brand new, extended preview below. I'm looking forward to the cliffhanger season finale when Seagal's rogue tactics require that he hand over his badge, never ending donut bowl, and gun.
Babies Trailer – Watch more Funny VideosStudioCanal's documentary Babies takes a look at one year in the life of five babies living in Mongolia, Namibia, San Francisco, and Tokyo. This film is bound to get biological clocks a-ringing. So fellas, keep your ladies away from this one or you'll soon be up to your elbows in doody (not your own) and be forced to watch Yo Gabba Gabba (not ironically).Soothe your teething gums with these links… 25 Babes James Bond Has Boned (Holy Taco) Sacre Bleu! French Goalie Breaks Leg In Half (TotallyProSports) World's Greatest Sleeping Bags (TheChive) Leo, Tobey, and David Blaine are broin' out (FilmDrunk) 15 Fake Magazines That Should Exist (SuperTremendous) Spanish LOST Promo Looks Like Perfume Ad (Pajiba) The 2009 NFL All-Criminal Team (CelebJihad) Dragon Backpack: Badass or Super Badass? (Unreality) Get To Know Rachel Uchitel (Asylum) Jay Cutler Beaten By Small Children (BustedCoverage) Nine Ridiculous Lawsuits Filed By Inmates (RegretfulMorning) World's Strongest Beer – Penguin Suit Not Included (MadeMan) NASCAR Collection Funds College Tuition (AllLeftTurns) In Russia, Cat Fights You (NothingToxic) Drunken Teens In A Hot Tub (Atom)
"And is it true they will honk when I squeeze them?"Director Paul Greengrass has decided he won't aim his shakey, blurry camera at Jason Bourne for a third time. The Bourne Supremacy and Bourne Ultimatum director has had a falling out with cash-strapped Universal, causing him to walk away from the fourth film. Apparently he is upset that the studio brought in a new screenwriter for the project without his consent and the studio is upset by Greengrass's going way over budget on his current project, Green Zone.Given Matt Damon's loyalty to Greengrass, this could be bad news for Universal. Could we have another Matt Damon freakout on our hands? According to the Playlist, some are citing Greengrass's ghosting as a "typical Paul move" and that he'll return to the project in short order. Another noted, "That's so Paul!", but it was difficult to determine if he was being serious or merely refering to Greengrass's failed Disney sitcom. (The Playlist)
If things didn't pan out so well for you at the local technical college, you may still be in luck. The upcoming Blu-Ray release of LOST: Season Five will include the LOST University feature. Go Polar Bears!For those not well-versed in fictional colleges, LOST University is a Blu-Ray extra that allows you to study subjects pertinent to the LOSTverse such as Physics of Time Travel, History of Hieroglyphics, New Physics with Daniel Faraday, and of course, Jungle Survival (better pay attention Sayid). You can enroll now on LOST University's official site. On the off-chance that you are not accepted, there's always University of Subway.
Tamala Jones and her fine behind have starred in several TV shows, but they can currently be seen in ABC's Castle as Lanie Parish, the medical examiner, and Lanie Parish's booty. Also look for both of them in Up In The Air on Friday. You know George Clooney will be looking. Daaaaamn. A word from Tamala: "I heard that I whooped Bobby Brown's ass at a Lucky Strike."Pffff, who hasn't whooped Bobby Brown's ass at a Lucky Strike? He practically replaces the bowling balls at that place.The pics after the jump are a strike and a half.
Matthew McConaughey needs to get his core in shape because he's producing an animated series with FOX based on his brother's life. One has absolutely nothing to do with the other, but if you're going to just keep living (Matty's motto), you need a tight core."Rooster Tales" follows the world of a beer-swilling, redneck sheriff who marries a much younger woman from Mexico. The man soon realizes, however, that he's gained not only a wife but an entire clan — 114 members and counting.Here's what McConaughey had to say about it:"My brother's life is so unbelievable, we had to animate it." I got news for you Matthew, if everyone's life that's unbelievable was animated we'd have a sh*tload of Seal cartoons.How did that guy marry Heidi Klum?!(via Variety)
No official studio images have been released yet, but we now have a good look at Don Cheadle as War Machine: The Toy. Diamond Previews sent out their advance listings catalogue and in the process have given a glimpse of Cheadle's Iron Man 2 character. Though the full body is blacked out (sorry, no camel toe) we get a decent look at Cheadle's face and helmet. I can already tell that this one is way cooler than his Hotel Rwanda action figure.Don't stare into his creepy mo-cap eyes for too long. That's how Zemeckis imprisons your soul. (Bleeding Cool)
Well it's no surprise that the Weinsteins and Dimension Films want to remake a movie that's only five years old. The original remake of The Amityville Horror starring a bearded and, as always, charmingly snarky Ryan Reynolds grossed over $100 million at the box office. "We wanna blow off more stacks of cheddar!" the Weinsteins were not quoted saying, but were most likely thinking while oddly enough nibbling from a pungent wheel of cheese.Apparently a director is already in talks to develop the project. He's probably brainstorming in between commercial shoots for beer commercials and commercial shoots for soda commercials. No word on when the remake of the remake will get underway, or if it will ever, but I have a feeling the development of the remake of the remake of the remake will begin early next year. Cheddar, om nom nom! (via BloodyDisgusting)
In case you've been jonesing for a vampire movie, Daybreakers starring Ethan Hawke, Willem Defoe, and Sam Neill is here to satisfy your craving. Oh, you're sick of vampires, you say? Well they bring in sh*t buckets full of cash at the box office so you're going to have to deal. At least the one's in this movie don't sweat glitter, or seep diamond dust. I don't know what the actual cause is of the sparkly vamps in Twilight, but I do know it's fruity. The premise for Daybreaks goes as such: In the year 2019, vampires are now the dominant species on the planet with the remaining humans being farmed for blood. But with the remaining blood supply dwindling, a vampire scientist (Ethan Hawke) finds himself siding with the human resistance. Sounds like another social commentary to me. Isn't it about time the world except homosexuals (vampires)? Daybreakers opens January 8th, 2010. Check out the trailer after the jump.
The best clip from the best Thanksgiving movie ever: Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.
The Matrix Done with Legos – Watch more Funny VideosHave you ever wanted to see The Matrix done entirely with Legos? Of course you have. Someone, who's very nice I'm sure, spent a lot of time and effort filming the 'Trinity Help' scene and the least you can do is watch it. (via Cinematical) Happy Thanksgiving! And to all a good night. Be sure to give thanks for these links. 25 Girls to be Thankful For (HolyTaco) Clemson Trainer Does Nice Faceplant (TotalProSports) Sweet Hairstyle, Dude. No One Cares. (TheChive) Canada Outlaws Happy Gilmore Swing (FilmDrunk) 15 Funniest Thanksgiving Photos of All Time (SuperTremendous) 5 Best Thanksgiving Films (Pajiba) Blake Lively Does Some Nice Posing (CelebJihad) Top 15 Sci-Fi Movies of the Last Decade (Unreality) Swedish Sex Couple Saved from Eviction (Asylum) Jimmy Clausen Punch Video Parody (BustedCoverage) Speed Boat Teaches Us About Inertia (RegretfulMorning) Making a Perfect Turducken (MadeMan) Worst NASCAR Crashes 2009 (AllLeftTurns) Thug Suprises Emo Kid with Falcon Punch (NothingToxic) The Workplace Gets Nasty (Atom)
Here's a first look at the new Freddy Kreuger figure fashioned by NECA. Click on the image to get a bigger view. Unfortunately it won't be available before the holidays, so you can't give it to mom, but Randy Falk of NECA says, "We are working on figures from the remake of Nightmare on Elm Street and at least two figures will be out for the release of the film with possibly more to follow." A Nightmare on Elm Street opens in theaters on April 30, 2010. Reenactments of the film using the Freddy Kreuger figure will follow soon after in homes around the country. (via ComingSoon)
Laura Allen may best be known for getting banged by Courtney Cox in the cancelled FX show Dirt. She's also done other stuff, like soap operas, but none of it involved getting banged by Courtney Cox. A word from Laura: "Tonight I snort heroin."That makes two of us. Let the Thanksgiving Eve tradition live on! Do some lines (of stuffing) off the pics after the jump.
Sorry literate moviegoers. Peter Jackson recently broke the news that Steven Spielberg's Tintin has completed filming, but still needs to undergo two years of computer-animation to pull off the creepy, dead-in-the-eyes look that Robert Zemeckis has been all about lately. I guess it sucks to have to wait but the alternative was casting Conan O'Brien and where would we be then?I don't have a lot of interest in this film because I'm not familiar with the books. Though I am pretty bummed that I'll have to wait for the impending porno-spoof Tittit. (BBC)
So much blood and ninjaing! If you like twirling kicks, twirling punches, and red liquid spraying out of oraphises, which kind of twirls too, then you'll probably enjoy this red band trailer for Ninja Assassin. I'm not too jazzed about all the CG elements (can't anything be real anymore?), but fighting in front of roaring flames will always be cool in my book. It makes perfect sense that the studio is releasing the movie today, though. This Thanksgiving get in the spirit of the holiday by seeing an uber violent ninja flick that's fun for the whole family. Wait, what?
After this next Shrek, there aren't going to be anymore Shreks, you guys. Which is bad news for fans of seeing computer-animated monsters lip-synching to "Sexy Back." USA Today has a ton of info about Shrek Forever After (the final Shrek), as well as the picture above.Here are the details:The first trailer will be attached to Avatar and presented in ass-puckerin' 3D.In the film, Shrek strikes a deal with Rumpelstiltskin to regain his ogre mojo but "the pact goes awry and Shrek must confront what life would be like in Far Far Away if he had never existed. That translates into Donkey being forced into cart-pulling duty, fat and lazy Puss in Boots trading his sword for a pink bow and the underhanded Rumpelstiltskin ruling the kingdom.”Jon Hamm, Kathy Griffin, and Kristin Schaal join the cast.Shrek spinoffs are not off limits.Dreamworks claims this is the end of all the ogreing but as long as there is "Sexy Back" or "Single Ladies" out there, there will be Shreks. (USA Today)
Having struck merchandising and ratings gold with Blue Harvest, Family Guy is now releasing their Empire Strikes Back parody Something, Something, Something, Darkside. Looks amusing enough. Not sure why Billie Dee Williams isn't involved with this project though. He's done worse. The farce is strong with these links. What Other People are Thinking When You're Traveling (HolyTaco) One Hard Hitting Six-Year-Old (TotalProSports) Girls Flashing the Duckface Pose (TheChive) 'Old Dogs' Publicity Still is a Joke (FilmDrunk) How to be a Pool Hustler (Manofest) Six Worst Movie Sidekicks (Pajiba) Miley Cyrus Fan Eats Pussy Cat (CelebJihad) Facebook in Star Wars Land (Unreality) 9 Signs It's Time to Lock It Down (Asylum) 2009 Hooters Dream Girls Photo Shoot (BustedCoverage) 7 Memorable Tom Cruise Bromances (RegretfulMorning) How to Sail Around the World (MadeMan) Jeff Dunham on NASCAR (AllLeftTurns)
Avatar – Thanator Chase Clip – Watch more Funny VideosHey guess what, there's more Avatar news. But I gotta admit the above clip is pretty baaaaad aaaaass. When I catch the whole chase scene in glorious, mind bending Cameron-ized 3D I'll probably crap my pantaloons. I have to say, I'm getting used to the blue mutant cat people. Getting used to them indeed… (via IGN)
Alexa Havins was a big soap star, playing 'Babe Carey' on All My Children for four years. She transitioned to film playing 'Hot Fan' in Hancock, and now 'Hot Waitress #2' in Old Dogs. Does anyone see a pattern here? A word from Alexa: "I have always watched Maternity Ward on TLC and just to see it firsthand was great."Ewwww, births are groooooss. I know it's supposed to be like this magical moment, but…ewwww.The pics after the jump are anything but ewww.
Ennui-core maestro Noah Baumbach's newest comedy Greenberg has a trailer. Ben Stiller stars as the title character, a middle-aged burnout who doesn't try very hard. That's until he meets a younger woman who tickles his pickle in such a way that he is inspired to live. Though sleeping late, getting wasted, and complaining about those more successful than yourself while you don't even really try, aren't that bad of a way to go through life. In fact, those are three qualities required to be a movie blogger. Well, it's after noon. Time for Kahlua pancakes.Check out the angstful trailer after the jump…
I don't want to ruin last week's episode of Dexter by telling you everyone dies in it, so I'll just say it was the best episode in a stellar season of the show about a domesticated serial killer. Fact: John Lithgow makes everything better. If you're not watching Dexter you need to start RIGHT NOW. Okay…go! Here are a couple clips to settle the monster down inside of you that can't wait until Sunday's new episode.
There's been some question whether HMFIC James Cameron's Avatar will turn a profit at the box office. Many speculate that the most expensive movie ever costs a whopping $500 million, but Fox Filmed Entertainment chairman Jim Gianopolous has scoffed at that figure. Though he won't admit final costs, he did say that number has no relationship to the actual cost of the movie. "I have no doubt about that," was his response when asked if the rumble in the jungle will turn a profit. Considering that Cameron's last film Titanic raked in $1,853,300,000 worldwide, I'm sure Avatar will do fine. However to ensure success, they may want to add a CGI Robert Pattinson. Just for good measure. (Reuters)
Shiny Suds Commercial – Watch more Funny VideosWe're obviously used to glistening, happy bubbles cleaning our tubs and sinks, but did you know those bubbles can turn into perverted suds? Next time you step foot in the shower, do it with caution. Click on these links liberably. 5 Things Your Family Will Talk About at Thanksgiving (HolyTaco) Kobe Bryant Makes a Sick Shot (TotalProSports) These Books Actually Exist (TheChive) More Pictures from 'The Hangover' (FilmDrunk) 10 Funniest SNL Commercial Parodies of All Time (SuperTremendous) Twilight the End of Cultural Civilization? (Pajiba) Kelly Clarkson is Seriously Not Fat (CelebJihad) 10 Best Call of Duty 4 Trailer Mashups (Unreality) Grow a Mustache, Get Made Fun Of (Asylum) Katelynn Johnson Knocked Out in Water Bottle Accident (BustedCoverage) Passing a Sobriety Test Unsober (RegretfulMorning) How to Choose Cologne (MadeMan) Vickers Worst Chaser in History (AllLeftTurns) Philly Catfight Brings Out Every Car on the Block (NothingToxic) Dan Levy Presents: Stunt Man (Atom)
I enjoyed The Hangover just as much as the next guy, but Crash it is not. I kid, I kid. But seriously, a high concept comedy winning a nomination for best picture? I can see that dumb biatch holding a globe that is golden taking The Hangover up on its offer, but Oscar ain't gonna have none of that sillyiness at his ceremony. The Hollywood Foreign Press practically thrives off of fat, bearded men carrying babies in Bjorns. If you want Oscar to recognize the material, either the fat, bearded man or the baby has to be retarded, and not fully, mind you. Good luck, The Hangover. I hope you find what you're looking for. Keep in mind though, there's only one thing that makes The Hollywood Foreign Press cream harder than fat, bearded men, and that's glitzy, glamorous musicals. The cast of Nine is going to tap dance all over your ass. (via FirstShowing)
In an attempt to convince people over the age of 50 that it's okay if they go see a movie with blue mutant cat people in it, James Cameron appeared on 60 Minutes over the weekend. Cameron spoke with Morley Safer, the target demographic for the show (people on the cusp of death), and discussed Avatar, showed behind the scenes footage, and proclaimed that he indeed can be a real b*tch on set. There's even mention of an Avatar 10. Cameron most likely intends to complete this after he perfects cryonics and rises from a frozen state in 100 years, when technology can meet his demands for Smell-O-Vision. Watch CBS News Videos Online
Kelly Reilly is a proper British actress who plays a proper British female to perfection. She's starring in Me and Orson Welles, and this Christmas you can look for her in the slam bang action movie about a martial arts fighter: Sherlock Holmes. A word from Kelly: "There’s nothing worse than being deadly serious about nudity."I don't know about that. Being nude all the time isn't too appealing either. How can we want to see you naked if you're always naked? The pics after the jump make me want to see Kelly naked.
First off, what's happening in the above picture? Moving on, this past Saturday Joseph Gordon-Levitt performed "Make 'Em Laugh" from Singin' in the Rain on Saturday Night Live, and while he didn't put the stellar Donald O'Connor to shame, he did complete some awesome wall flips. The kid's got spunk, I'll give 'em that. If you didn't watch Joseph's monologue, take a look below. It's guaranteed to make you possibly chuckle. (via /Film)
This past weekend's success of New Moon has officially brought back the werewolf and it seems that Hollywood is joining Team Jacob. Variety reports that the classic horror film The Howling is moving forward with a reboot for release this Halloween. Seems like this trend is here to stay. I'm going to strike while the iron is hot and have my wolf shirt tattooed permanently to my chest. (Variety)
This Thanksgiving, I thought about all the movies I’m thankful for. These aren’t just movies I like. These are movies that by all accounts should not exist at all, yet somehow they persevered through development, studio notes, critical derision and often box office failure, yet exist for eternity thanks to some filmmakers’ determination. Even in the last 10 years, there are 12 movies to relish on Black Friday morning when everybody’s up early shopping.South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut
150 minutes. That's the final number for Avatar's running time, not 7 hours like some of us expected. Of course when you add credits, trailers, commercials, and, since it's the holidays, a campaign for some charity you won't donate to, we COULD be looking at around 7 hours.Cameron has said that one of the contraints on his decision about running time was the Imax runs, which only allow a movie that's using the system to run 170 minutes at the longest. Of course, if Cameron really wanted a version longer than 170 minutes I believe he would have just invented a new Imax system. Cameron doesn't work with Imax, Imax works with him.(via THR)