The adage 'time waits for no man…' was kicked in the teeth and taught to be less impatient with the news that Chuck Norris is celebrating his 70th birthday today. That's right. Seventy years and nine months ago today, the bearded sperm that would form Chuck Norris round-housed into an ovum and conceived the toughest man this world will ever know. Ryan, Oklahoma remains a crater to this day.In honor of the sacred day, his family plans to throw him a "know party" because you can't surprise Chuck Norris. If he were to throw it himself, it would circle the Earth and land at his heels. Happy Birthday, Chuck!
Timothy Olyphant loves himself some westerns. First he squared off with Ian McShane on the HBO drama Deadwood, and now he's back as gun-slinging U.S. Marshall Raylan Givens in the FX show Justified. Let it be known, his character only draws his weapon when he has to, and when he does, he shoots to kill, because, as he sees it, that's the purpose of a gun. That, and looking totally badass in front of your elementary school friends.I honestly can't see this show being unworthy of my time. It stars Timothy Olyphant and Walton Goggins from The Shield a.k.a. the best show ever, is adapted by Graham Yost, the creator of the stellar cancelled NBC show Boomtown, from an Elmore Leonard short story, and is on FX, quite possibly the most badass network on television. The only thing that would make FX more badass is if it were holding a gun. Get on that, Rupert Murdoch. Check out the behind the scenes featurettes after the jump. Justified premieres on FX next Tuesday, March 16 at 10PM ET/PT.
Jasika Nicole plays the lab assistant to Joshua Jackson's batshit crazy father in the FOX television show Fringe. She is also an illustrator and has created an autobiographical online comic called "High Yella Magic." I'm unaware if centers around tripping the light fantastic. A word from Jasika: "It's been almost three years since I learned how to ride the subways without getting lost or getting stuck in the closing doors." Awww, you poor, poor dear. When that started happening to Grandma my Pa sent her off to a farm. I'm pretty sure that means he shot her. Respect Jasika for her body AND her mind after the jump.
"Okay, Scarlett. You're good. Fellas, could you take eighteen huge steps back?"Yesterday's reports that The Office's John Krasinski was the frontrunner to play Captain America have been debunked. Obviously. Have you seen his hair? It's clearly not cool enough.So which muscle-y jerk is gonna play this guy? The list we reported on has been whittled down and a couple of names have been added. Producers are still keen on Tron Legacy's walking haircut Garrett Hedlund, though he has yet to test for the part. Mike Vogel is joined on the list by Chris Evans and Generation Kill's Wilson Bethel (aka who?).The role was expected to be cast by March 1st and has obviously run into some problems. The options in America are pretty bland and we can't just pop an Australian in the suit like we usually do. Stan Lee has really backed us into a wall with this whole America thing. (THR)
(Relax, it's apple juice.)The more slurry half of the Coreys has passed away. Corey Haim was found dead this morning after an apparent overdose of prescription drugs. TMZ reports that he collapsed in front of his mother just before 1 AM and was reported dead a little over an hour later after being rushed to the hospital.Haim rose to fame as a 1980's teen heartthob in such films as Silver Bullet, Lucas, The Lost Boys, License to Drive, and Dream a Little Dream. Problems with drug addiction led to a career spiral though he is said to have rehabilitated himself in 2004. He was seen most recently in A&E's The Two Coreys and Crank: High Voltage. He was 38. (TMZ)
Following in the footsteps of Brian Dennehy and Craig T. Nelson, Robert De Niro has signed on to play an iconic coach in the ESPN Films biopic Lombardi. Arguably the greatest coach in NFL history, Vince Lombardi led the Green Bay Packers to two Superbowl and five league championship wins. I should also mention dude could burp the entire alphabet… backwards. Doesn't sound too impressive to you, but in Wisconsin that is a godlike ability.The film, to be written by Eric Roth (Forrest Gump), will focus on the 8 years that Lombardi spent with the Packers, molding them into NFL champs. Very little time will be spent on his epic belching. (THR)
Nick Swardson Screen Junkies Shout Out – Watch more Funny VideosWe caught up with Nick Swardson on the set of his new Comedy Central sketch show. More on that in the future, but right now Nick gives us a creepy shout out.Here are today's links. 10 Most Ridiculously Mismatched Movie Couples (Moviefone)A Woman's Perspective on Cheating (Asylum)Heidi Montag Says No To Plastic (PopEater)25 Inappropriate Children's Books (HolyTaco)How To Write a Romantic Comedy (Uproxx)15 Best Pics of Christina Hendricks (Unreality) Capitals Alexander Shoutout Fail (TotalProSports)Women of Spring Training (Maxim)15 Fearless Streakers (Smosh)Ben Roethlisberger Claims He Was Sexually Assaulted (CelebJihad)Jim Miller Talks UFC 111 (CagePotato)Felicia Day to Fight Werewolves (Pajiba)Pregnant Hotties Do The Bump 'n Grind (Atom)Red Bull Art of the Can (MadeMan)New Gran Turismo 5 Demo (AllLeftTurns)7 Bad Phone Habits You Need to Stop (RegretfulMorning)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine's Sabretooth wants you guys to know that he'd really like to be in the sequel. At a press conference for Repo Men, Liev Schreiber told reporters that Hugh Jackman has told him about the script but he's not sure if he'll return (though he really wants you guys to know that he totally would if asked)."I just had dinner with [Hugh Jackman] last night and Hugh read the first draft of the script and I was really excited about it. It's still not clear whether or not Victor will be present in the Japan storyline. In the Japan storyline as I remember it from the Wolverine comics, Victor wasn't there. So I don't know, of course I've got my fingers crossed because I love the character so much, to have the chance to do it again would be a lot of fun, but I'm not sure."So, was Hugh Jackman trying to rub it in his face or what?HUGH: Oh, mate. The new Wolverine script is excellent. Too bad you won't be a part of it. Terrific stuff.LIEV: Oh man. That sucks. I guess I'll just have to stay home and bang Naomi Watts for four months.HUGH: Yeah, that's cool too. I s'pose. If you're into that sorta thing.(via io9)
Gerald McCullouch of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation was arrested for public urination last week in New York and has been court ordered to undergo counseling. He tells New York Daily News:"I'd had a little to drink. So, as I was coming down the West Side Highway, I asked my cab driver to pull over so I could relieve myself. Suddenly I was surrounded by three cop cars. I said, 'Officer, at least let me finish!' But I actually learned something from the hour-long quality-of-life counselling the judge sentenced me to. Education is better than a fine." When reached for comment CSI: Miami star David Caruso said, "When you're surrounded by three cop cars, you know…. *sunglasses*…. urine trouble." YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! (IMDB)
Some might look at this new poster for The Losers and think, "Oh clever, they're assassins who just shot me and now they're standing over my body as my last breath of air escapes." I look at this poster and think, "Suck it." Zoe Saldana especially seems like she could use some servicing. Jeffrey Dean Morgan just looks gassy.The Losers centers around the members of an elite Special Forces unit sent to the Bolivian jungle on a search and destroy mission. They're gonna kick ass, take a few names, and steal the innocence of a few unlucky henchmen. Open wide, world. The Losers hits theaters April 23, 2010. (FilmSchoolRejects)
Lindsay Sloane was Maid of Honor at the wedding of Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. QUITE the accomplishment I might say. She also made an appearance on Entourage, but nothing tops standing next to Gellar as she made the mistake of marrying Fred from The Scooby Doo Movie.A word from Lindsay: "I am so incredibly hot."Whoa, pump the brakes. Clearly you're more attractive than me, but Alice Eve makes everyone else look like Alexis Dziena. More definitely worthwhile pics of Lindsay after the jump.
Beer and TV go together like hookers and blow. And since both of those are illegal AND expensive, why don't you just crack open a cold one and stroll through 8 of TV's best screen-licking brews. PAWTUCKET PATRIOT ALE
The long-awaited Tron Legacy trailer is finally here thanks to some selfless individuals (read: nuuurrdddssss!) who solved the viral puzzle campaign to unlock the trailer. It looks pretty great. I'm sure that inhaler sales just skyrocketed. The trailer opens with Bruce Boxleitner sending Jeff Bridges's cool-haired son to track down his cyber-dad in the world of Tron. What we get is a nice look at the Techtropolis that the world of Tron has become — complete with cyber-babes, cyber-ninjas, Zoolander's nemesis Mugatu, and Jeff Bridges with his cyber-Rat Pack. Missing is Tron Guy. Though it's quite possible he's hiding behind this cyber-couch, waiting for the perfect moment to steal a sniff of Olivia Wilde's cyber-hair. Check out the trailer after the jump. It's worth it for the Daft Punk track alone.
Columbia Pictures is getting serious about a second sequel to Men in Black by tossing some names of weirdos into the ring. It's believed that Josh Brolin is on board for the third film and now there are reports that they want either Brüno's Sacha Baron Cohen or Conchord Jemaine Clement for a character named "Yaz."It's not known at this time if the character will be an alien or an agent (though wouldn't he be named after a letter were he an agent?). Both actors excel at weird, broad comedic performances and would be a perfect fit in the MiB universe. Though I'm not sure about Cohen. They already did the Ballchinian thing in part two. (Bloody Disgusting)
This commercial was on air around the time A Nightmare On Elm Street 4 came out. I'm pretty sure if you called Freddy verbally sexed you up for a steep fee, but my kindergarten friends could have been lying to me.These links don't have a surcharge.Sandra Bullock's German Acceptance Speech (Moviefone)Gorillas May Eat Monkeys (Asylum)Jack From Will & Grace is Gay. DUH. (PopEater)25 Animals Humping the Wrong Animal (HolyTaco) Sandra Bullock Accepts Razzie, Gives Away DVDs (FilmDrunk)Five Reasons Why Your Wife Hates Juliette Lewis (Unreality)Marc Savard Stretchered Off The Ice After Fight (TotalProSports)Hot Girls From Hot Places (Maxim)Ultra Monster Dancedown (Smosh)Miley Cyrus Gives AIDs a Chance (CelebJihad)18 Amazing Fight Fist-Poses (CagePotato)The Most Divisive Movie in Pajiba History (Pajiba)This Is Your Brain On Avatar (Atom)The 7 People You Meet at The Gym (MadeMan)Ingrid Vandebosch Mega Gallery (AllLeftTurns)
Hold on to your fig leaves, folks, this is gonna get sinful. Walden Media and Paramount have seen the light, and the light told them the Book of Genesis would make a totally rad 3D movie with the potential of bringing in sh*t buckets full of money. The film shall be titled In The Beginning, and Cary Granat will work with Real Fx to make a 3D snake so frightening you'll be digging up your real King James Bibles.Naturally, they got John Fusco, the guy who wrote the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, to offer his take on creation. How does one go from telling a tale of abominations such as teenage mutant ninja turtles to interpreting The Bible? It's my hope he puts a fresh spin on that tired Old Testament story. Temptation comes in the form of pizza, not apples/vajayjay. Am I right, Michelangelo?They're still just in the planning stages, so hopefully this project won't come to FRUITition (rim shot, fart noise). A mighty hand will come down from the heavens and bitch slap everyone involved. This hand, of course, belonging to Mel Gibson. If you're going to exploit The Bible let's be serious and get the best. (Deadline)
Hip grandma Betty White will soon be staying up nine hours past her bedtime. People caught up with the aged star at Elton John's Oscars viewing party where she confirmed the rumors that she will appear on an upcoming episode of Saturday Night Live, though she doesn't know when. Originally, it was believed she would appear on a "Women of Comedy" episode alongside Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Molly Shannon but Lorne Michaels has shot down those reports.It's not known whether she will host or provide a cameo but White is just happy for to be a part of the confusing campaign. "I don't know why or how," says White, "but it's been wonderful." Though at the age of 88, I'm sure more than a few things confuse her. Like young women nowadays always putting their elbows on the table. Back in her day, a lady knew how to ensnare a man. (People)
John Hughes's career is in upswing after many quiet years. Sadly he's pretty dead but, much like Tupac before him, he still has unproduced work floating around out there. And the streets is hot for one of these screenplays. Grisbys Go Broke, a story about a wealthy Chicago family who lose everything and move to the country, is raising a few eyebrows in Hollywood.Paramount is rumored to be interested in producing though no official offer has been made. It would only make sense for them to acquire the project though. Last night's Hughes tribute has him fresh in everybody's minds and besides, they're making movies about f*cking bubblegum these days. At this rate we'll be lucky not to see a movie called, Hey, 'Member That Time I Farted? and its sequel, Hey, 'Member That Time I Farted Underwater?, within the next decade. (THR)
Alice Eve is my new favorite thing on the planet. That's right, I like her even more than dogs dressed up as bananas. Alice is getting her first starring role as the 10 in She's Out Of My League, but you may also know her from a little film called Crossing Over. I'm not saying you've seen the film, I'm just saying you've Googled the words "Alice Eve Crossing Over." A word from Alice: "There is an acting gene that has been passed down to me by my parents. It's nature, not nurture" There are a couple of other traits that must have been passed down as well. A couple of fine, fine traits. Check out more of Alice's good genes after the jump.
"I interrupt this speech to put my fist in my mouth!"The strangest moment at last night's Academy Awards (besides whatever was coming out of Sean Penn's mouth) was when Music by Prudence director-producer Roger Ross Williams bolted to the stage to accept the best documentary short statue. At first I thought he ran because he was seated in the nosebleeds, but it soon became clear that he was running for his life when a crazy drunk lady bum-rushed the stage. Turns out that lady was Elinor Burkett, a once-producer on the documentary who had removed herself from it over a year ago and not sitcom star Marcia Wallace as I had originally believed.Get the he said, she said from Salon after the jump.
Wheeeeew, did you guys catch that Oscar thing last night?! What a thing that was, huh? Not so much? Well if you didn't read along with our live blog while you were watching I can understand why you might not have had any fun. But hey, that doesn't mean you can't read it now and laugh your head off from the nostalgia. Last night will be a night we'll all remember for a VERY long time. Wait, a woman won something right?Check out the winners here, and read our "hilarious" live blog below! SJ Oscar Live Blog
The 82nd Annual Academy Awards have come and gone with no real big upsets. Here's a quick recap but you can also check out our live blog for a play-by-play of the night.The Hurt Locker took home Best Picture as well as snagging the Best Director prize for Kathryn Bigelow. Not to mention Best Original Screenplay for Mark Boal.Jeff Bridges finally won the Best Actor prize that has been waiting for him for his portrayal of Bad Blake in Crazy Heart.Sandra Bullock was surprised to see she edged out Meryl Streep to win Best Actress for The Blind Side.The supporting categories went to Cristoph Waltz and Mo'Nique.Though James Cameron was beat by a girl, Avatar won three prizes – Best Art Direction, Best Cinematography, and Best Visual Effects.A round of congratulations are in order for all of the winners as well as the nominees who went home empty-handed. It's a thrill just to be considered and I think we all can agree that the real loser of the night was Ben Stiller.CHECK OUT THE FULL LIST OF WINNERS AFTER THE JUMP…
This 2:30 new trailer for Iron Man 2 packs more punch than the ten hour Academy Award broadcast I just live blogged until my fingers and eyes bled. Luckily for you, I stopped the hemorrhaaging long enough to write this post. I was impressed with the first trailer for Iron Man 2, but the new one definitely sticks it in its predecessor and breaks it off. The reason for this: Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow. Can I just say, DAMN. Halfway through, she body-spins around some henchman before slamming his head in to the ground. Best way to die ever. The trailer also features more Stark, Fury, Whiplash, War Machine, and an easily foldable Iron Man suit, but no amount of CGI can trump Scarlett's magnificent naturals (James Cameron hangs his head, defeated). Check out the new trailer after the jump. Iron Man 2 hits theaters May 7, 2010.
Someone finally caught on to the fact that Tim Burton loves the adjective "creepy" like a fat kid loves cake. Even the room he holds his development meetings in is creepy. Burton's creative team seems to be over the whole "spiral staircase" motif, but the director marches on. Play that wild-eyed man off, Danny Elfman!
Say hello to my little friend, indeed…Here are your weekend links.Win a Tim Burton Signed Alice in Wonderland Prop (Moviefone)If the Oscars Were Honest (Asylum)What if Burton Never Met Depp? (FlickSided)Brett Favre Talks Retirement, Hannah Montana (PopEater)FilmDrunk's Guide to the Oscars (FilmDrunk)Star Wars in the Real World Gallery (Unreality)Who Knew Golfing Could Be So Painful (TotalProSports)Sex: Have Your Cake and Eat It Too (Maxim)10 Fatass Oscar Winners (CelebJihad)WEC 47 Weigh-Ins Go Smoothly, Now Comes Violence (CagePotato)10 Best Quotes of 2009 (Pajiba)Giant Robots Fighting Monsters! (Atom)Female Pickup Artists (MadeMan)2011 Shelby Mustang Pace Car (AllLeftTurns)
New Orleans has been long considered the authority on good taste by the rest of the United States, so it should come as no surprise that the Big Easy is trying to stamp out Jersey Shore.The New Orleans club Republic has posted a sign outside its door that disapproves of the "L" in GTL:If it's on the Jersey Shore, it's not coming through the door. No Affliction. No Ed Hardy. No Christian Audigier. No Exceptions.Apparently they're pissed about the Bar Refaeli thing too. But don't worry, outfits like this are still welcomed 100% in New Orleans.(Fail Blog)
An artist named monomauve designed this impressive bust of The Simpsons nuclear power plant owner Mr. Burns. If you speak computer graphics talk, it was done with Zbrush and rendered in 3ds max. Now this is some art I can get behind. I wouldn't mind owning an entire museum of Simpsons busts displayed prominently on pedestals. Oh the conversations they'd have with each other in my mind…Check out more of monomauve's work here.
Here lies Warts.Paramount is eager to dig up the remains of the Pet Sematary franchise. Producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura has picked up the cautionary tale about the dangers of Indian burial grounds with 1408's Matthew Greenberg taking over scripting duties from Mike Werb and Michael Colleary.The film, based on Stephen King's novel, tells the story of a family from the city who moves to ideallic Maine. They soon discover a cursed pet cemetary that resurrects household pets as demons. Things take a hellish turn when they bury their murdered toddler on the plot. Is it even legal to bury your dead on your own? Aren't there laws?? Please forward all research to me for reasons that are none of your concern. (THR)
Ellen Barkin is one foxy older woman. The squinty-eyed blond is best known for rollin' around in the sheets with Pacino in Sea of Love, but some of you younger folks might recognize her from Ocean's Thirteen. Did someone just yell MILF? Pipe down. A word from Ellen: "What the hell was I thinking? Marry a rich guy? Was I crazy?"Completely insane. Put your arms in to this straight jacket and come with me. More MILF after the jump.
We already know that Steve Guttenberg feels another Police Academy would be good for the world. The healing power of nut shots and superglue pranks should not be underestimated. But do we really need another sequel? Or a reboot for that matter?? New Line Cinema and Warner Bros think so.The studios announced that they will be returning to the series with an all-new relaunch of the series. Though no writer or director are attached at this time, producer Paul Maslansky wants to start with a new cast. This news will make sound effects maestro and series star Michael Winslow cry like a baby. And I don't mean that he will imitate the sound a crying baby makes. The man has bills! (THR)