Orlando Bloom won't be shaving that weird facial hair anytime soon. The Elizabethtown actor has been cast as the Duke of Buckingham in Paul W.S. Anderson's The Three Musketeers. British comedian James Corden will also join the cast as the servant Planchet. Previously cast are Christoph Waltz, Logan Lerman, Matthew MacFadyen, Ray Stevenson, Luke Evans, Mads Mikkelsen, and, of course, Anderson's wife/zombie slayer Milla Jovovich. Considering Anderson's film resume of mostly videogame adaptations, I'm really impressed by these casting announcements. It looks like this 3D take on the classic is picking up a lot of talented actors. And Milla Jovovich. (Variety)
Cancel the close-ups. Let's stick to the wide-angle shots.Sex in the City 2 may have many faults, but thematically speaking, the film is on point. According to an early review by Variety, the film is barren in almost every sense of the word. Overstaying its welcome at nearly 2 1/2 hours…part of the action occurs in the desert, which inadvertently proves apt, since the oases of enjoyable moments — and they do exist — suffer from being spaced too widely in what's otherwise a long, arid trek. Let me get this straight: the film is a comedy devoid of "enjoyable moments" (i.e. laughs) involving four women who are too old to procreate as they look for sex in a barren desert. A film can't have that many ironic overtones by accident. Perhaps my court-appointed therapist was right, and my contempt for this franchise and its fan base stems from a deep-seated misogyny rather than any legitimate problems with the writing, acting, directing and marketing involved with these awful films. Eh, what the hell does she know? Am I right, fellas? (Variety) *Note: My original title for this piece was Sex and the City 2: The Adventures of Barren Von Muffhausen.
"Lost" director/executive producer Jack Bender has joined "Alphas," a new original series on Syfy. As with "Lost," he will serve as both director and executive producer. According to Variety, "Alphas" follows a group of ordinary people with extraordinary powers who fight crime as they come to terms with their abilities. Basically, it's "Heroes," but with an important twist: it's on Syfy instead of NBC. Shooting for "Alphas" begins this Summer in Toronto, the land where TV magic is made.
The final episode of "Lost" has come and gone, and there was no shortage of surprises. Even the most avid fans could not have predicted that Jack was actually Hurley's father, or that the "Dharma Initiative" was nothing more than a marketing ploy for ABC's new series, "Dharma and Greg: The Next Generation."What did you think of the the finale? Were you satisfied, or were you as pissed off as when you found out that Starbuck was an angel?Sound off below. The best comment will receive a black-and-white printout of the Screenjunkies.com logo personally autographed by me, Jame Gumb. It's sure to go up in value once the FBI raids my house and shoots me to death while looking for my cache of bootleg Human Centipede DVDs.
This is one of those "very special episodes."Rumors of a 21 Jump Street movie have been flying around the internet for over a year now, and we're all looking for some concrete answers. All we know at the moment is Jonah Hill is starring, Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs) are directing, and it's going to be a blend of action and comedy. But where does Johnny Depp fit in, you ask? Well Screen Junkies caught up with Jonah today at the press junket for Get Him to the Greek where we forced him through uncomfortable staring to answer this burning question and more:How close is 21 Jump Street to going?We’re going to shoot that in early next year, January/February. Is the script done?We just got a new draft we finished but we’re going to work on it right up until we go.MORE ABOUT DEPP AFTER THE JUMP.
Bad news for MacGruber and Co. Despite a relentless Internet marketing campaign and surprisingly positive reviews (relatively speaking), the film has completely tanked at the box office. The Village Voice is reporting that the SNL spin off pulled in a paltry $4.1 million over the weekend, included a disastrous $1.5 million from its opening night. Even with a budget of only $10 million, the results are disappointing. And the worst part of it all is that MacGruber's failure has basically killed any chance of me selling my Goat Boy spec script. Screw you, Will Forte! You've crushed my dreams, yet again! (Box Office Mojo)
Meet Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. She's a lithe Victoria's Secret model, and rumors are she might be the replacement for Megan Fox in Transformers 3. Michael Bay no doubt met her while adding unnecessary explosions to the spots he directs for the lingerie brand. No telling yet if Rosie can act, but she forms a convincing fist in the above pic, and it's not like acting is a crucial requirement on Bay sets. Breasts. Now those are mandatory.Who would your choice be? Besides Diora Baird, you guys. I'd give you more pics of Rosie so you can make an informed decision, but you've already Googled her and aren't even reading this. (Latino Review via GeekWeek)
Stars that shine twice as bright shine half as long.Here are your weekend links.James Gandolfini Calls Glenn Beck 'Satan' (TVSquad)Tattoo Regrets (Asylum)Jesse James Cries Like a Baby (PopEater)The Lost Finale Drinking Game (HolyTaco)MacGruber Disses Shrek Big Time (FilmDrunk)Death Stars Are All Around Us (Unreality)25 Hottest Cougars in Hollywood (BroBible)Nike's World Cup Commercial Is Amazing (TotalProSports)7 Superheroes Playing Other Superheroes (Maxim)Alistair Overeem Passes His Drug Test (CagePotato)Hulk Hogan Bikini Thong Pic (CelebJihad)30 Things That Look Like Pacman (Smosh)Cameron Diaz Career Assessment (Pajiba)Workout Myths You Shouldn't Believe (MadeMan)
The trailer for new rom-com Going the Distance looks at the trials and tribulations of a long distance relationship as Justin Long and Drew Barrymore try to make it work from spaced-out area codes. It takes a concept with potential and weaves in thin threads of triteness between scenes with "Always Sunny's" Charlie Day. The original script was on the Black List awhile back, but of course Hollywood execs replaced the dark tones and realistic characters with botched spray tan and inappropriate kitchen table sex set pieces. Justin Long delivers, as he usually seems to do, but I find myself wondering why his character puts so much effort into a long distance relationship with Drew Barrymore when Charlie Day is (inexplicably) his father. Live with dad forever, dude. No girl's going to keep you as entertained as he will, even if she does let you feel her up over her shirt. Check out the trailer after the jump. Going the Distance phones it in to theaters August 27, 2010.
That sandwich doesn't stand a chance with Knowles hanging around.Morgan Spurlock and Harry Knowles may not see eye to eye on the subject of McDonald's, but they're willing to put that difference aside. The Ain't It Cool News founder and comics legend Stan Lee will join Spurlock and Joss Whedon in producing their San Diego Comic-Con documentary. The doc, newly titled Comic-Con Episode Four: A Fan's Hope, will begin following seven fans in June as they prepare for this year's convention.I've only been to the crappy New York version of Comic-Con and am looking forward to see how the film captures the spirit in San Diego. And with the Four Horsemen of Geekdom (Acne, Asthma, Cheeto Fingers, and Dumb Laugh) behind the lens, it's sure to take us where no film ever cared to go before. (THR)
I've been lost in these eyes for hours.Everyone balked when news broke that MacGruber was heading to theaters, but today we have even more unbelievable news — MacGyver is heading to theaters. THR reports that Jason Richman (Bangkok Dangerous, other sucky things) has been brought on to write the film with Raffaella and Martha De Laurentiis producing, along with series creator/MacGruber c-blocker Lee Zlotoff.No casting has been announced yet but let me just say, PLEASE CAST NICOLAS CAGE. PLEASE. That forehead paired with a mullet is too beautiful not to film. He's proven himself as a solid adventurer and Bad Lieutenant taught us that he works well with Xzibit. Oh yeah. Also please cast Xzibit. Basically, the movie should be a 90 minute version of this.
Just your average cab ride in NYC. Maybe you didn't watch the last Inception trailer we posted because you want to save your entire load for when the movie comes out, but if you're up for a little butthole tickle (cinematically speaking) the U.K. has a 60 second spot. It entices without giving away the farm. I personally love how I've seen several one-sheets, trailers, and clips for the film and I still honestly have no idea what the movie is about. Sure, I realize it deals with dream interior designing and anti-gravity parkour, but I haven't seen Leo's business card yet. That's really the only way to gain a true perspective on a man. Here, I'll leave mine behind so you can follow up. **Slaps avocado pit down on table ** Check out the spot after the jump.
Rachel Hunter was an uber supermodel and wife of silly-haired singer Rod Stewart. She’s actually received most attention as of late for playing the MILF in the music video for Fountains of Wanye’s "Stacey’s Mom," in which reenacts the Phoebe Cates pool scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High.A word from Rachel: "Blondes have more fun."Are we judging by the drapes or the rug?More "blonde" Rachel pics after the jump.
Excitement is at a fever pitch for this Sunday's series finale of "Lost." Die-hard fans are planning viewing parties for the big send-off and we're here with some helpful tips and hints for the big event. Follow our instructions to a 'T' and your party will be talked about for years to come.#1. COSTUME IS KEYLike any party, you really should dress to the nines. Anybody can slip on one of Sayid's tanktops or Horace's jumpsuit. There's really only one way to stand out: scarification. This can be achieved with a regular household box-cutter and an ordinary wooden spoon clenched between your teeth. Yes, there will be lasting effects… the lasting effect of everyone talking about how awesome you are.#2. DECORATIONS
Photos courtesy of 'Twilight: New Moon' premiere and the day Hayden ate WebsterI wasn't sure if I should be looking forward to Scream 4 or not, but today comes news that at the very least, it will be fun to look at. Wes Craven has offered the lead to Ashley Greene as well as supporting roles to some other familiar faces.Greene has been approached to play Jill, the cousin to Neve Campbell's Sidney. Hayden Panettiere has also been approached to play a film geek and best friend to Jill. The newest Culkin clone, Rory, may sign on as a love interest, and Lake Bell is in negotiations to play a police officer who knows Sidney from high school. Due to the secrecy of the project, the actors aren't being told much about the film beyond their character descriptions. This is making it difficult for them to decide if they want the shoot this July, but I would think they'd be eager for the chance to work with David Arquette.I really feel for poor Hayden, always being type-cast. But in all fairness, look at this nerdlinger:God, I would kick so much sand in her face. (THR)
Cartoon Network has announced the addition of Rob Corddry's medical spoof, "Children's Hospital," to its Adult Swim lineup.The Webby Award-winning series, which began airing on TheWB.com in 2008, regularly skewers medical melodramas such as "Grey's Anatomy" and "House." For those of you who don't know, "The Webby" is a trophy made of my old toilet paper rolls and empty Kleenex boxes that is presented annually to the best original series on the Internet.Cartoon Network will begin airing the five-minute webisodes back to back until August 22, at which time they will be replaced with 12 made-for-TV episodes, each with a 10-minute run time. This web-to-television transition gives hope to all of us "Internet writers" who aren't lucky enough to have a funny dad or a friend with a funny dad. Screw you, Patrick. (Variety)Check out a clip of the Webby Award-winning "Children's Hospital" after the jump.
If you felt the original Kung Fu Panda wasn't creepy enough, we've got some good news for you. Gary Oldman has signed on board for the sequel, which instantly increases the film's creepiness factor by 78%.Oldman plays a feathered character named "Peacock" who helps our panda hero track down the bad guys. However, it seems that Peacock may be more than he claims. My money is on a crooked DEA agent or perhaps Lee Harvey Oswald. Only time and a $20 movie ticket will tell. (EmpireOnline)
Collider is reporting that James Franco has signed on for Rise of the Apes, the upcoming prequel in the Planet of the Apes franchise. Franco is slated to play a scientist who, while working on a cure for Alzheimer's, befriends one of the test chimps known as Caesar. Caesar begins to learn at an astounding rate after being injected with a new anti-Alzheimer's drug. Franco's character takes pity on the intelligent creature, and informally adopts the animal in order to keep it safe. Big mistake.While it's far too early to judge the film, it has been reported that all of the apes will be the product of CGI rather than the traditional makeup and costumes worn in previous Ape films. And while I can't be certain, it would seem that this reboot pisses all over the grave of Ricardo Montalban by eliminating his character and altering the ape origin story. If Montalban was still alive, I'm pretty sure he'd protest by flinging his poo at James Franco. But he can't because he's dead, so I guess it really doesn't matter.Rise of the Apes hits theaters on June 24, 2011, baring some sort of monkey Apocalypse.
In Justin's defense, glass is transparent, much like his aw-gee-shucks-I-wouldn't-bang-your-daughter-and-leave-her-for-dead-on-the-side-of-the-road-if-I-had-the-opportunity shtick.These links are streak-free.50 Most Shocking TV Moments (TVSquad)Shy People Are Bad at Marriage (Asylum)Handcuffs Await Lindsay Lohan (PopEater)25 Sexy Robots (HolyTaco)Oh Boy, Another Whiny Emo Pussy (FilmDrunk)Sexy Disney Princesses (Unreality)15 Sexy Adriana Lima Pics (BroBible)Armed Thug Gets His Ass Kicked By Skaters (TotalProSports)21 Animals Riding Other Animals (Maxim)10 Most Notorious Lawsuits in MMA History (CagePotato)Miss USA Rima Fakih Is a Mossad Agent In a Bikini (CelebJihad)25 Delicious Om Nom Noms (Smosh)5 Most Anticipated New TV Shows (Pajiba)Atom TV with Paul F. Tompkins (Atom)Video Game-Inspired Lingerie (MadeMan)25 Examples of Chicks and Beer (RegretfulMorning)
Hustler is at it again with their newest porn parody. The trailer for This Ain't Glee: XXX has me kind of confused. It's obviously porn. And it's obviously gay. But then why isn't it considered gay porn? Sadly the trailer doesn't answer this question or feature Dianna Agron Naked or Dianna Agron Shaved or even Dianna Agron Hot. But it does feature terrible singing. That's what guys like in pornos, right? Lots of talking and singing?? Oh heck, I'd better stop. Probably getting the world all turned on right now. CHECK OUT THE PIPES ON THESE LADIES AFTER THE JUMP…
Akiva Goldsman (Left) and Ron Howard (Right) on the set of Inspector Gadget 2.Screenwriter Akiva Goldsman is putting down his pen and picking up his wand, or whatever instrument directors use while directing. The Oscar-winning writer is slated to make his directorial debut with the 20th Century Fox drama, Man and Wife. The film follows an assassin who falls in love with the woman he is supposed to kill. In most relationships, a man falls in love with a woman and then ends up wanting to kill her, but this film turns that convention on its head. Brilliant!You have to hand it to Goldsman, especially considering he wrote Lost in Space and Batman and Robin. A lesser man (like myself) or a traditional Japanese samurai would have committed ritual suicide after penning such awful scripts. But Goldsman kept at it and went on to do great things. Aside from trying his hand at directing, he is also producing the upcoming Jonah Hex film and is slated to adapt Stephen King's The Dark Tower for director Ron Howard. (Deadline)
The Parents Television Council has their panties in a bunch again, and this time the issue is over a word that isn't even a word. The new CBS comedy "$#*! My Dad Says" uses symbols to spell out the word "shit" and when spoken the naughtiness will be bleeped, but the PTC doesn't even want brains to get all filthy with interpretations.“CBS intentionally chose to insert an expletive into the actual name of a show, and, despite its claim that the word will be bleeped, it is just CBS’ latest demonstration of its contempt for families and the public. There are an infinite number of alternatives that CBS could have chosen but its desire to shock and offend is crystal clear in this decision,” said PTC President Tim Winter. "The title of this show is the opposite of fleeting (profanity) – it is bold, shameless, and in-your-face. It really is quite unreal how contemptious CBS is of families and the public. In fact, just this afternoon they released a new logo that's offensive to both parents and children alike.Not cool, The Eye. Not cool. (Deadline)
MTV is building up their stable of scripted material with the news that a "Teen Wolf" series will join "Hard Times of RJ Berger," "Warren the Ape," and "Skins" on the channel. The network has picked up a series order for the pilot we reported about previously. But don't dust off your What Are You Looking At, Dicknose? t-shirts just yet. This is MTV we're talking about, so of course it will lean closer to Twilight than it will the classic film Teen Wolf. Expect gratuitous abdominal muscle shots as opposed to light-hearted Michael J. Fox masturbating obsessively jokes. Turns out those don't really go over too well at parties anymore. Either that or I've been going to the wrong type of party. (THR)
On "All My Children," Leven Rambin played the autistic Lily Montgomery, as well as her street-smart but lovable older half sister, Ava Benton. So it must have been like a special ed Parent Trap sort of thing. Those soaps always take it to the next level.A word from Leven: "Even though I love fashion and all girl stuff, including the color pink, please know that I am not a 'Miss Priss'!"I like to imagine she gave that quote while sitting on a pink bed covered in pink throw pillows and chihuahuas in pink sunglasses. More pics of not Miss Priss after the jump.
"Coyote Falls"? I don't get it? After years in hiding, Bugs Bunny and the gang are headed back to the big screen. In a throwback to the golden age of Warner Brothers cartoons, the studio is releasing three 3D shorts that will run in theaters before feature-length films. In addition, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck are getting their own 26 episode show on Cartoon Network.This is the first major announcement from the Looney Tunes since they were sexually assaulted by NBA great Michael Jordan on the set of Space Jam 14 years ago Brendan Fraser on the set of Looney Tunes: Back in Action 7 years ago. Since cartoon characters are not protected under the law, Brendan got off on a technicality. But the event was so traumatizing that Bugs and company quit showbiz and hadn't been heard from since. Luckily, time heals all wounds, even the really stretched out cartoon kind.The first of the shorts, "Coyote Falls", will appear before the film Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, which sounds stupid and opens on July 30. The TV series will premiere this fall, and will probably be canceled next spring. That's all, folks! (Coming Soon)
It's been a year since JJ "Jeezy" Abrams purchased the rights to "The Untold Story of the World's Biggest Diamond Heist," and today they've found a writer. It's an inspired choice. Phil Alden Robinson, who wrote and directed Field of Dreams, and co-wrote the heist movie classic Sneakers, has joined the untitled project. It's not clear at this time who will helm the picture, though we're pretty much guaranteed an excellent movie given the pedigree already behind the scenes.The film will be based off this Wired article about the real-life "heist of the century." In 2003, a small crew of Italian jewel thieves got past ten layers of security and made off with $100 million worth of diamonds. $100 million! Whistle noise!! Think of how stealing that much money would change your life! You could afford to hire Andy Garcia to pretend to be a guy embarrassed by all the diamonds you just stole from him. And if he's busy, you can always get Mark Strong. (THR)
All of you love watching movies. Many of you probably also enjoy the act of drinking cereal-malt and distilled beverages that you can purchase once you’ve reached the age of 21. Throw the two together with some friends (if you have none, works just as well) and you have yourself one excellent early-evening activity. Since you can make a game out of pretty much anything that plays on a screen (ads, soap-operas, etc), the following are a few of the better “battle-tested” samples: Dazed and Confused
That sandwich doesn't stand a chance with Belushi hanging around. UPDATE: I've added clips of the new shows after the jump. CBS announced its new schedule of shows that you will avoid but still discuss awkwardly with someone's grandparents today. As previously announced, the Twitter phenom that stole our sweet Patrick away, "S#*! My Dad Says" will go up against "30 Rock" in the Thursday at 8:30 slot. "The Big Bang Theory" is its solid lead-in in a bid to grab every Trekkie for a solid hour. Tom Selleck and Jim Belushi return to TV with "Blue Bloods" and "The Defenders" respectively. And Grace Park in a bikini will change your granddad's opinion of Koreans with a rebooted "Hawaii Five-O." CHECK OUT THE FULL SCHEDULE WITH NEW SHOWS AND NEW TIMESLOTS AND NEW CLIPS AFTER THE JUMP…
George 'El Guapo' Roush of Latino Review says that "if you hate The Muppets, you hate life." I'll take it one step further. If you hate The Muppets, I hate you. By that logic, I don't hate Nick Stoller, the director of Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Stoller is at the helm of the latest outing from Kermit and the gang, The Greatest Muppet Movie of All Time. I always call The Muppets, the 'gateway drug for comedy nerds.' It's the first comedy we're introduced to, at least people our age. That's what we're going for with that. It will be for the whole family I guess, and for anyone who likes Muppets." Unlike my other childhood favorites (Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Eraserhead), The Muppets are perfect for a remake/reboot since the characters don't age. Well, neither does that "baby" from Eraserhead, but that's pretty much a Muppet when you think about it. At any rate, until Shia Labeouf signs on as the villain who pretends to be interested in porking Miss Piggy so he can kidnap The Muppets and sell them off to "Furries," I'm going to remain optimistic. Waka, Waka, Waka!
Tim Burton needs a better dry cleaner.Fearing retribution from Coolio, Paul Greengrass has dropped out of James Cameron's remake of Fantastic Voyage. Though Greengrass discloses that he was never actually on the project. He hadn't signed anything, nor did he intend to. Although he won't be sending Matt Damon on a trip through some dude's bloodstream, he may be eyeing another tentpole adventure film.Greengrass is reportedly interested in giving Treasure Island the Sherlock Holmes-treatment for producer Lionel Wigram. They're working with the studio now to decide on a screenwriter but I don't know why. A sexy version of Treasure Island has already been done. In fact I was watching it late last night on Cinemax with the volume off as to not wake Mother. (Deadline)