He really nailed the eyes.These links will cheer you up, Fat Little Girl.Free Outdoor Summer Film Festivals (Moviefone)Russell Brand Tips for Getting Laid (Asylum)M.I.A.'s French Fry Fight (PopEater)The Dos ad Don'ts of Soul Selling (HolyTaco)Keifer in Talks for Werewolf Fight Club (FilmDrunk)10 Best Comedy Duos of All Time (Unreality)AT&T Nixes Unlimited Wireless Plans (BroBible)Greatest Wrestling Move Ever (TotalProSports)Progression of a Celebrity (Maxim)Kim Couture Arrested After Choking Personal Assistant (CagePotato)Jessica Simpson is Totally Not Fat (CelebJihad)20 Horrible Place Names (Smosh)5 Best Single TV Episodes of the Season (Pajiba)M'Larky Slugs It Out (Atom)Have a Summer Fling (MadeMan)
Beethoven's 2nd robbed us of Charles Grodin, our nation's most cantankerous export back in 1994. A man can only abide a St. Bernard ruining his turkey dinner so many times before he decides to walk away from a thriving Hollywood career, and Grodin had reached his breaking point. Welp, I've got good news for all you Grodinheads out there. The man is open to acting again and he seems more curmudgeonly than ever."I’ve been led to believe by someone I won’t name that they will ask me and I will consider it,” says Grodin in regards to the planned Midnight Run sequel. Though he does have his conditions. “I just turned down the new Muppet movie… Jim Henson was dear to me but I’m not flying 6000 miles to Los Angeles to work one day." Well, you could also take in a Lakers game, B.A. Baracus. Just sayin'. It's reported that he won't take a role if it interferes with him being at his Connecticut home by nightfall. This reinforces my theory: Charles Grodin is a werewolf. I'm 17% certain of this. (Deadline)
In news that is sure to make Conan O'Brien's Irish eyes smile, Jeff Zucker is being removed from his position as President of NBC Television Group. General Electric has put together an exit deal that will send Zucker packing with a golden parachute in the $30 to $40 million range. Please send all sympathy cards to: Jeff Zucker Don't Send This Guy Any Cards Avenue Dude's Plenty Rich, NY 80085 $30 million seems kinda exorbitant for a guy who steered the number one network into last place and forced the company into the arms of a competitor. Heck, I didn't get squat when I was let go from the deli for that bologna joke fiasco. Sucks too because I had plans for that apron. (NY Post)
AICN snagged some very official looking concept images of what Chris Evans could maybe possibly look like as Captain America. Marvel has not yet confirmed their authenticity, so basically they could be you or me, probably you, jerking around on the computer in a basement, surrounded by American flags and Nazi scalps. In which case, I commend you. That's an impressive collection of Nazi scalps.More unofficially official images of Captain America after the jump.
Zoe Salmon was the host of the children's television show "Blue Peter." Shortly after her debut, she famously said, "I'd try anything once," which started a trend in her being asked to do dangerous or embarrassing things including wing-walking on top of an antique biplane. An antique biplane? What kind of dares are these?!A word from Zoe: "I'd try anything once."Oh yeah? Would you wing-walk on top of an antique biplane? Damnit, why does the mind go straight to that?More pics of Zoe trying getting her picture taken after the jump.
We have the first image of a whacked-out "Walker" from AMC's upcoming series "The Walking Dead." The six-episode first season is being written, directed, and produced by Frank Darabont (The Shawshank Redemption, The Mist)."The Walking Dead" follows a group of survivors trying to find a safe place for their brains after a zombie apocalypse totally puts the kibosh on lazy Sunday afternoons. Rick Grimes is the main character and Sheriff leading humans in the opposite direction of the undead in this tale adapted from the Robert Kirkman graphic novel. If this series isn't awesome, I'll eat my own shoe. Either way the jokes on you because my shoes are made of thinly sliced pastrami. (Collider)
Nice shades. Idiot. (Very sorry.)We now have full license to refer to Paul Rudd as an idiot (though I am a big fan and hate doing so). The idiot (very sorry) is reteaming with Jesse Peretz for My Idiot Brother, a comedy where the dumbass (love your work) moves in with his three sisters and disrupts their lives.Shooting is slated to begin in July once the sisters and mother have been cast. This is the second collaboration between Peretz and Tardface (you're doing a fantastic job), having previously worked together on The Chateau. Rudd can be seen next in Dinner For Schmucks opposite a dweeby Steve Carrell (again, no hard feelings). (THR)
A series reboot of The Crow is said to be moving forward very aggressively. Not as aggressively as the high school bullies who will pummel the students the film inspires to wear pancake makeup, but aggressively nonetheless. Producer Edward Pressman was talking up the project, saying the script is terrific and they've got an offer out to a major actor. If all goes well, the reboot could be done this year.Director Stephen Norrington (Blade, League Of Extraordinary Gentleman) has switched up the visual look from its predecessor and made the Crow itself more of a character in this version. "It's got a personality and a character," says Pressman. I don't know about you but I'm really hoping it wears a backwards ball-cap, sunglasses, rides a skateboard, and speaks in rhyme. You snicker at that suggestion now, but you wait and see. Just you wait. (MTV)
In an effort to cap the massive BP oil spill, the federal government has called in none other than director James Cameron. Because of his expertise with "underwater filming and remote vehicle technology," Cameron, along with scientists and other experts, met with officials from the Environmental Protection Agency to discuss ways of stopping the colossal leak.Suggestions included sending a remote-controled robot back in time to kill the President of BP's mother before he was conceived and creating genetically engineered oil-human hybrid bodies which could then be used to interact with the spill and gain its trust.The federal government hasn't been this desperate since they sent that team of oil riggers into space to blow up that asteroid. But hey, I guess it worked out in the end. (HitFix)
Acting is gay, unlike MMA fighting. Nope, nothing gay about MMA.In an interview with the L.A. Times, thespian Quinton "Rampage" Jackson came out of the closet, admitting that "acting is kind of gay." The MMA fighter turned actor went on to say that some experiences while filming The A-Team were a waste of time and ended up sapping his manhood. "Acting is kind of gay. It makes you soft. You got all these people combing your hair and putting a coat over your shoulders when you're cold. I don't want a coat over my shoulders! I'm a tough-ass motherf*cker!" Now, if we read into Jackson's comments, he's basically calling Mr. T, the actor who originally played B.A. Baracus, a homosexual. While we're sure Mr. T is OK with gay, I pitty the fool who claims the T would lie with another man as one lies with a woman. If I were Rampage, I would quit my jibber-jabber before it's too late. (JoBlo)
He's conquered television, starred on the silver screen, and surfed the internet. Now, comedian extraordinaire Jerry Seinfeld has set his sites on Broadway….off Broadway, to be exact. Seinfeld will direct "Long Story Short," a comedic monologue by SNL alum Colin Quinn. The play explores "2,000 years of human civilization and the rise and fall of its great empires, stretching from ancient Rome to Walmart." It is hoped that Seinfeld's name recognition will translate to ticket sales. Most Off Broadway shows close after only a week, sending the vanquished cast members back home to flyover country with their pathetic hopes of stardom dashed. This is not Seinfeld's first encounter with the Great White Way. In 1998, he closed out his old stand-up routine with a limited run entitled, "I'm Telling You For The Last Time." In addition, Monk's Coffee Shop, the fictitious hangout for the "Seinfeld" characters, is located at West 112th Street and Broadway. Not too bad for a guy whose only knowledge of high culture comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons. (Variety) See video of Jerry Seinfeld's Broadway debut after the jump.
Audio Visual Plus Local Commercial – Watch more Funny VideosAt Audio Visual Plus in Houston, TX, they think a movie about a sinking ship is a comedy and their staff plays around in unspooled celluloid. You know the guy with the hat is a frequent behind-the-curtain browser. Rip up your membership card immediately.Thanks to Brett W. for sending this over.We're up to our EARS in links! 5 Best Fight Scenes You've Never Seen (Moviefone) Jonah Hill On Hiding Drugs Up His Butt (Asylum) Details About Gary Coleman's Fatal Fall (PopEater) 25 Horrifying Hooker Mugshots (HolyTaco) James Bond Kissed a Dude? (FilmDrunk) Gallery of Awesome Custom Darth Vader Helmets (Unreality) 37 Photos of Heidi Klum For Her 37th Birthday (BroBible) Erin Andrews Has Some Nasty Feet (TotalProSports) UFC to Host First Indiana Show This September (CagePotato) Kristen Stewart Cleavage Pics (CelebJihad) 20 Hair Salons With Ridiculous Names (Smosh) 5 Celebrity Women The Universe Hates (Pajiba) Learn How to Be Tight (Atom) Date Movies to Get You Laid (MadeMan) 20 Examples of Douchebags Holding Money (RegretfulMorning)
"So then I sez to her, I can pay to have you killed."People is reporting that Charlie Sheen will serve a minimum of fifteen days in jail for chasing his wife with a knife on Christmas Eve and threatening to kill her. That hardly seems fair. IT WAS CHRISTMAS. The most stressful time of year. Who here hasn't wanted/tried to kill their girlfriend/wife/sorority-girls-who-now-inhabit-your-childhood-home during the Christmas season? If you don't raise your hand, you're a liar.But don't worry. Charlie's time in the pokey won't prevent him from earning a multi-million dollar paycheck for spouting off lame sexual euphemisms before canned gasps, chuckles, and wolf whistles. The plea deal will allow him to serve his time before "Two and a Half Men's" shooting schedule reconvenes. Thank God! Not the real God that we all love. One of those sinister evil ones.
Always go with the vampire.P.T Anderson's untitled Scientology movie is looking for a daughter for Philip Seymour Hoffman's character, and none of the prospects are bearded or slovenly. According to Production Weekly, Amanda Seyfriend, Emma Stone, and "True Blood's" fiery redhead Deborah Ann Woll are all on P.T.'s casting shortlist, a list that I imagine is scrolled in ash or bodily fluid because why would he use boring ink.PW also reported last week that Reese Witherspoon had been offered the role of the mom. I suppose if you add her genes to the mix, one of the above girls is a viable candidate, but we better at least see the occasional mustard stain to be convinced Hoffman is Papa. (ThePlaylist)
Antoine Fuqua has announced that his next project will be a biopic focusing on the life of rapper Tupac Shakur. Last week it was believed that Fuqua would reunite with Bruce Willis for The Tomb as his next project, but now Fuqua describes that project as "a conversation I've been having with Bruce." Another recent conversation between Fuqua and Willis regards Doritos Late Night All Nighter Cheeseburger Flavored Tortilla Chips. How do they make those things taste exactly like a cheeseburger???Fuqua kept things real with Digital Spy:"It looks like we're doing Tupac Shakur's movie next in September, that's what I've been starting up and working on now. I've been working on that for a while with Morgan Creek and Jim Robinson. I just got the greenlight from him and we're going in September. I've just started to prep that."The director doesn't have any casting choices in mind yet, but hopes to find an unknown for the role. Before he even asks, I officially take myself out of the running. I tried to do the Tupac verse from "California Love" at karaoke recently and failed miserably. And my head was way too big for the bandana. On account of my intellect and all.
Stormy Daniels, also known simply as Stormy, is a porn star, screenwriter, and director. She also appeared in the The 40-Year-Old Virgin as the object of Andy's fantasy after he viewed one of her films. She tried to run for a Senate seat in her hometown of Louisiana, but then soon realized there are pics everywhere of her getting banged.A word from Stormy: "I am ready today to declare that should I seek the office of U.S. Senator from the great state of Louisiana that I will do so as a Republican."The sexual prowess of the GOP just went up 100 fold.More pics of Stormy doing what she's best at after the jump.
Pauly D. looks as sober as a judge.BREAKING NEWS: Someone from the "Jersey Shore" cast is hitting the booger sugar. Radar is reporting that while filming the second season of the juiced, tanned, and greased show in Miami, one of the gang played in the snow. The identity of the culprit is being kept under wraps, but police are utilizing the tried and tested method of throwing rocks on South Beach and trying not to hit a cokehead. It's a numbers game at this point.“Miami is obviously a big drug city,” one source told RadarOnline.com, “and when this cast member want (sic) to score, it wasn’t hard.”Narc! Narc!“Finding someone to buy drugs from in South Beach is as easy as asking for it,” the source said. “It’s not hard and everyone is discreet.”Another Narc!“A connection was made and that’s all it took,” the source told RadarOnline.com. “A lot of things were done in code. Other people knew about it but no one ratted out this person.”I don't know about you guys, but I've had enough of these accusations. I'm going to go mow my mother's lawn. **Walk-runs into bathroom to flush stash**
Breast-lover McG has picked up the rights to produce an adaptation of Kody Keplinger's teen novel The DUFF, under his Wonderland Sound and Vision banner, the shingle responsible for "Chuck," "Supernatural," and "Human Target." For those not fluent in mean-spirited teenager, DUFF stands for "designated ugly fat friend." Or in McG's case, Brett Ratner.The DUFF tells the story of an unpopular girl who falls into the arms of the popular boy she believes she hates. Before everyone gets grossed out at the thought of an ugly person finding love and happiness, bear in mind that this will be a feature film so the lead will merely be "Hollywood ugly." Which means Miranda Cosgrove with braces or glasses or… [shudder] both. (Variety)
With the release of Splice this Friday and the introduction of the film’s monster Dren, played by model and actress Delphine Chanéac, we’re being treated to another marginally hot yet horribly wrong murderous beast for two hours of cleavage and mayhem. And while it’s awesome that the vampires and werewolves in Twilight all look like they should be trying to sell you sweater vests, most movie beasts have no business trying to stir up unwholesome feelings in you. And yet, despite how obvious it is that nothing that can eat you should give you a boner, filmmakers keep slipping dirty little things in there.Aliens
With all the focusing on who will or will not be objectified in Transformers 3, we've lost sight of another important issue. Will someone accessorize their tube top with a gun holster in Resident Evil: Afterlife? Answer is yes. Actress Milla Jovovich tweeted that Sienna Guillory will return to the role of Jill Valentine in the sequel.“So to answer many of your questions in one fell swoop, yes! The gorgeous and talented Sienna Guillory is back as Jill Valentine in RE4!!!” That's pretty much what I just said. You guys could have just taken my word for it. Jerks. In other Resident Evil news, ultimate-re has released a new "3D" poster for the movie. But be warned, it's 3D in the same sense that the "Lost" finale supplied closure.CHECK OUT THE POSTER AFTER THE JUMP…
When Guillermo del Toro dropped out of the directors chair for The Hobbit, one replacement immediately came to mind: Peter Jackson. But Jackson seems dead set against directing the prequel to the Lord of the Rings trilogy unless his presence is absolutely necessary.“If that's what I have to do to protect Warner Bros' investment, then obviously that's one angle which I'll explore.” This assumes that it’s even possible. He explains, “The other studios may not let me out of the contracts.” Currently, once such contract has Jackson directing the third installment of the upcoming Tintin series. Will Tintin, the tale of an effeminate, Nazi sympathizing Belgian and his little white dog, prove to be as lucrative as The Hobbit, the long awaited adaptation of one of the most popular fantasy books in history? Only time will tell. (CinemaBlend)
Martial Arts star Tony Jaa, best known for his work in the film Ong-Bak, has joined a Buddhist Monastery in Surin, Thailand. The move comes after a failed attempt at directing the first Ong-Bak sequel, and the poor box-office showing of Ong-Bak 3. The now bald actor took his vows on May 28th and will serve as a monk for an unknown amount of time.I sincerely hope that this trend makes its way to Hollywood. After the disappointing failure of Sex and the City 2, it would be nice to see the cast forced to join a Catholic convent deep in the Italian back country, or to have Shia LaBeouf commit ritual suicide to alleviate the shame he feels for Indiana Jones 4 and Transformers 2. God be praised! (SlashFilm)
Much to the delight of teenage boys everywhere, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was named as Megan Fox's replacement for Transformers 3. And to commemorate Rosie's new job, her former employer, Victoria's Secret, has put out this video featuring the lingerie model's greatest hits. After all, what better way to celebrate her impending objectification at the hands of Michael Bay than with an objectifying underwear ad/spank film? And based on her performance in the ad, I'm smelling Oscar! Wait, no. That's smegma. See Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's acting talent on display after the jump.
My stupid sisters in-law is a racists!So here I amm, drinking off my ass off, enjoying my brothers bbq, when all of the sudden hes wife starts running hers mouth asbout Spiderman. I don't tal aabout to her abouut being a loudmouth b****itch, so why dos she try to talks to me about SPidey?So anyyways, she starts saying spidermans should'tn be the black guy from nbc's"Cimmunity", (Donald Glover), and I'm all like "why the f*** knot?!" Spiderman is a fictucious characters, so why not let a black guy play him for a chage.Its not like we're taking about a reel charcter from the real world. If Toby McGuire was playing martin lawrence king jr., that woulnd be tottally rasicsit? But spidey man is not real. See what I mean?I hate my sister-in-laww. She is so stupid and rascist. She went to a 2 yrs college and never left home. I went to a foureyear schools andf spents semesters in Spain, so I hace more perspecives, ya know.If you want a good movie about black people, you should watch The Wire! That's the best mocvie about black people their is. I should make my sister in laws watch The Wire, then she'd be cool with black spidey. God my siter in law is a b***ch.
Usually when an actress starts her career doing softcore Skinimax movies, she ends her it doing hardcore porn, but Christa Campbell has managed to get more mainstream with every credit. She went from Erotic Landscapes to Lonely Hearts, and can be seen in Finding Bliss, which opens June 4 in NYC and June 11 in L.A. Reruns of her Skinimax movies can be seen on Skinimax.A word from Christa: "Life live, enjoy."And a l'chaim to you too, kind lady. Much more of Christa's skin after the jump.
The Birth of Day Man from Always Sunny – Watch more Funny Videos Two cheers for syndication! One of your favorite shows in this whole big, wide universe is coming to TV sets on a more regular basis. Starting tonight at 9pm/8c, "Always Sunny in Philadelphia" will drag you kicking and screaming into rerun heaven every Monday on Comedy Central with four back-to-back episodes. The Gang can be your real friends because real friends are overrated, right The Gang? You can't see, but Charlie Day just nodded his head at me. Eeeeeee, I'm so popular! To get you in the mood, I've posted a clip of one of the best scenes of all time from the show. You've probably seen Charlie and Dennis sing "Day-Man" a good thousand times, but why don't you just stop complaining, huff some more of that spray paint, and click play. Catch "Always Sunny" tonight at 9pm/8c on Comedy Central.
"What's that I see, MGM? Me droppin' your ass!"Guillermo Del Toro has officially stepped away from directing duties on The Hobbit, a film that for the past two years has really been more of a wish than an actual project. Guillermo made the announcement on The Lord of the Rings fansite TheOneRing.net:“In light of ongoing delays in the setting of a start date for filming “The Hobbit,” I am faced with the hardest decision of my life. After nearly two years of living, breathing and designing a world as rich as Tolkien’s Middle Earth, I must, with great regret, take leave from helming these wonderful pictures."He said he would continue collaborating on the scripts with Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh and Phillippa Boyens. Guillermo decided to leave the project due to the fact that most directors enjoy directing movies and floundering MGM doesn't have the cheddar to make The Hobbit a reality. Sure, they say they'll have the cheddar eventually, but if the company were dealing with a bookie, all of that lion's legs would be broken and his cubs would blindfolded and gagged in a room with leaky pipes. Lesson: don't make promises you can't honor. Now go back to your burgers and hot dogs, readers.
A cheap and tired joke? Perhaps, but screw you! I'm working on a holiday!A film about an ogre, a donkey, an overweight pussy and woman who alternates between hot and disgusting ended up losing to Shrek Forever After at the weekend box-office. Sex and the City 2 took in an estimated $32.1 million (Friday to Sunday), compared with Sherk's $43 million.The poor showing by SATC2 seriously calls into question any hope of a third installment, which is the best news I've heard all month. However, Sex fans can take solace in the fact that they did better than Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, which brought in only $30.1 million despite a budget rumored at $200 million. (HitFix)
I just assumed Green Lantern would tell the story of a test pilot who finds a ring that grants him fantastic powers. CBM got the official synopsis and it's so much more than that. Just kidding. It's still about a guy who finds a ring. Why am I posting this? I think the more important question is why am I not at a barbeque?? Let's have those two questions answer one another.FULL SYNOPSIS AND CAST AND CREW DETAILS AFTER THE JUMP…
Dennis Hopper has died at the age of 74 due to complications from prostate cancer. The actor best known for his roles as manic, narcotic enthusiasts started his career playing tamer characters. He starred as the son of wealthy rancher Rock Hudson in Giant, and a convict in Paul Newman's corner in Cool Hand Luke.It was his turn as a hippie biker in Easy Rider, a hippie journalist in Apocalypse Now, and oxygen-sucking Frank Booth in Blue Velvet that made us all realize what Hopper was preparing for his entire career — blowing up Keanu Reeves in Speed. Or playing King Koopa in Super Mario Bros. I get those two roles mixed up. Either way, let's hope he's at the pearly gates right now giving St. Peter a pop quiz. Hot shot.You'll be missed, Mr. Hopper.