News - Page 286

‘Old Dogs’ Actress Laura Allen
Wednesday, November 25 by

Laura Allen may best be known for getting banged by Courtney Cox in the cancelled FX show Dirt. She's also done other stuff, like soap operas, but none of it involved getting banged by Courtney Cox. A word from Laura: "Tonight I snort heroin."That makes two of us. Let the Thanksgiving Eve tradition live on! Do some lines (of stuffing) off the pics after the jump.

‘Tintin’ Film Will Take Two Years To Zemeckisize
Wednesday, November 25 by

Sorry literate moviegoers. Peter Jackson recently broke the news that Steven Spielberg's Tintin has completed filming, but still needs to undergo two years of computer-animation to pull off the creepy, dead-in-the-eyes look that Robert Zemeckis has been all about lately. I guess it sucks to have to wait but the alternative was casting Conan O'Brien and where would we be then?I don't have a lot of interest in this film because I'm not familiar with the books. Though I am pretty bummed that I'll have to wait for the impending porno-spoof Tittit. (BBC) 

‘Ninja Assassin’ Red Band Trailer
Wednesday, November 25 by

So much blood and ninjaing! If you like twirling kicks, twirling punches, and red liquid spraying out of oraphises, which kind of twirls too, then you'll probably enjoy this red band trailer for Ninja Assassin. I'm not too jazzed about all the CG elements (can't anything be real anymore?), but fighting in front of roaring flames will always be cool in my book. It makes perfect sense that the studio is releasing the movie today, though. This Thanksgiving get in the spirit of the holiday by seeing an uber violent ninja flick that's fun for the whole family. Wait, what? 

‘Shrek Forever After’ Details
Wednesday, November 25 by

After this next Shrek, there aren't going to be anymore Shreks, you guys. Which is bad news for fans of seeing computer-animated monsters lip-synching to "Sexy Back." USA Today has a ton of info about Shrek Forever After (the final Shrek), as well as the picture above.Here are the details:The first trailer will be attached to Avatar and presented in ass-puckerin' 3D.In the film, Shrek strikes a deal with Rumpelstiltskin to regain his ogre mojo but "the pact goes awry and Shrek must confront what life would be like in Far Far Away if he had never existed. That translates into Donkey being forced into cart-pulling duty, fat and lazy Puss in Boots trading his sword for a pink bow and the underhanded Rumpelstiltskin ruling the kingdom.”Jon Hamm, Kathy Griffin, and Kristin Schaal join the cast.Shrek spinoffs are not off limits.Dreamworks claims this is the end of all the ogreing but as long as there is "Sexy Back" or "Single Ladies" out there, there will be Shreks. (USA Today)

‘Family Guy: Something, Something, Something, Darkside’ Trailer
Tuesday, November 24 by

Having struck merchandising and ratings gold with Blue Harvest, Family Guy is now releasing their Empire Strikes Back parody Something, Something, Something, Darkside. Looks amusing enough. Not sure why Billie Dee Williams isn't involved with this project though. He's done worse. The farce is strong with these links. What Other People are Thinking When You're Traveling (HolyTaco) One Hard Hitting Six-Year-Old (TotalProSports) Girls Flashing the Duckface Pose (TheChive) 'Old Dogs' Publicity Still is a Joke (FilmDrunk) How to be a Pool Hustler (Manofest) Six Worst Movie Sidekicks (Pajiba) Miley Cyrus Fan Eats Pussy Cat (CelebJihad) Facebook in Star Wars Land (Unreality) 9 Signs It's Time to Lock It Down (Asylum) 2009 Hooters Dream Girls Photo Shoot (BustedCoverage) 7 Memorable Tom Cruise Bromances (RegretfulMorning) How to Sail Around the World (MadeMan) Jeff Dunham on NASCAR (AllLeftTurns)

New ‘Avatar’ Clip: ‘BattleCat vs. Space Jam Character’
Tuesday, November 24 by

Avatar – Thanator Chase Clip – Watch more Funny VideosHey guess what, there's more Avatar news. But I gotta admit the above clip is pretty baaaaad aaaaass. When I catch the whole chase scene in glorious, mind bending Cameron-ized 3D I'll probably crap my pantaloons. I have to say, I'm getting used to the blue mutant cat people. Getting used to them indeed… (via IGN) 

‘Old Dogs’ Actress Alexa Havins
Tuesday, November 24 by

Alexa Havins was a big soap star, playing 'Babe Carey' on All My Children for four years. She transitioned to film playing 'Hot Fan' in Hancock, and now 'Hot Waitress #2' in Old Dogs. Does anyone see a pattern here?  A word from Alexa: "I have always watched Maternity Ward on TLC and just to see it firsthand was great."Ewwww, births are groooooss. I know it's supposed to be like this magical moment, but…ewwww.The pics after the jump are anything but ewww.

‘Greenberg’ Trailer Reveals Ben Stiller Is Lost, Jewish
Tuesday, November 24 by

Ennui-core maestro Noah Baumbach's newest comedy Greenberg has a trailer. Ben Stiller stars as the title character, a middle-aged burnout who doesn't try very hard. That's until he meets a younger woman who tickles his pickle in such a way that he is inspired to live. Though sleeping late, getting wasted, and complaining about those more successful than yourself while you don't even really try, aren't that bad of a way to go through life. In fact, those are three qualities required to be a movie blogger. Well, it's after noon. Time for Kahlua pancakes.Check out the angstful trailer after the jump… 

Two Killer ‘Dexter’ Previews
Tuesday, November 24 by

I don't want to ruin last week's episode of Dexter by telling you everyone dies in it, so I'll just say it was the best episode in a stellar season of the show about a domesticated serial killer. Fact: John Lithgow makes everything better. If you're not watching Dexter you need to start RIGHT NOW. Okay…go! Here are a couple clips to settle the monster down inside of you that can't wait until Sunday's new episode. 

‘Avatar’ Will Definitely Turn A Profit
Tuesday, November 24 by

 There's been some question whether HMFIC James Cameron's Avatar will turn a profit at the box office. Many speculate that the most expensive movie ever costs a whopping $500 million, but Fox Filmed Entertainment chairman Jim Gianopolous has scoffed at that figure. Though he won't admit final costs, he did say that number has no relationship to the actual cost of the movie. "I have no doubt about that," was his response when asked if the rumble in the jungle will turn a profit. Considering that Cameron's last film Titanic raked in $1,853,300,000 worldwide, I'm sure Avatar will do fine. However to ensure success, they may want to add a CGI Robert Pattinson. Just for good measure. (Reuters)

‘Shiny Suds’ Commercial Will Make You Uncomfortably Clean
Monday, November 23 by

Shiny Suds Commercial – Watch more Funny VideosWe're obviously used to glistening, happy bubbles cleaning our tubs and sinks, but did you know those bubbles can turn into perverted suds? Next time you step foot in the shower, do it with caution. Click on these links liberably. 5 Things Your Family Will Talk About at Thanksgiving (HolyTaco) Kobe Bryant Makes a Sick Shot (TotalProSports) These Books Actually Exist (TheChive) More Pictures from 'The Hangover' (FilmDrunk) 10 Funniest SNL Commercial Parodies of All Time (SuperTremendous) Twilight the End of Cultural Civilization? (Pajiba) Kelly Clarkson is Seriously Not Fat (CelebJihad) 10 Best Call of Duty 4 Trailer Mashups (Unreality) Grow a Mustache, Get Made Fun Of (Asylum) Katelynn Johnson Knocked Out in Water Bottle Accident (BustedCoverage) Passing a Sobriety Test Unsober (RegretfulMorning) How to Choose Cologne (MadeMan) Vickers Worst Chaser in History (AllLeftTurns) Philly Catfight Brings Out Every Car on the Block (NothingToxic) Dan Levy Presents: Stunt Man (Atom)

‘The Hangover’ Campaigns for Best Picture. Oscar Laughs.
Monday, November 23 by

I enjoyed The Hangover just as much as the next guy, but Crash it is not. I kid, I kid. But seriously, a high concept comedy winning a nomination for best picture? I can see that dumb biatch holding a globe that is golden taking The Hangover up on its offer, but Oscar ain't gonna have none of that sillyiness at his ceremony. The Hollywood Foreign Press practically thrives off of fat, bearded men carrying babies in Bjorns. If you want Oscar to recognize the material, either the fat, bearded man or the baby has to be retarded, and not fully, mind you. Good luck, The Hangover. I hope you find what you're looking for. Keep in mind though, there's only one thing that makes The Hollywood Foreign Press cream harder than fat, bearded men, and that's glitzy, glamorous musicals. The cast of Nine is going to tap dance all over your ass. (via FirstShowing)

James Cameron is Head Motherf***er in Charge of ‘Avatar’
Monday, November 23 by

In an attempt to convince people over the age of 50 that it's okay if they go see a movie with blue mutant cat people in it, James Cameron appeared on 60 Minutes over the weekend. Cameron spoke with Morley Safer, the target demographic for the show (people on the cusp of death), and discussed Avatar, showed behind the scenes footage, and proclaimed that he indeed can be a real b*tch on set. There's even mention of an Avatar 10. Cameron most likely intends to complete this after he perfects cryonics and rises from a frozen state in 100 years, when technology can meet his demands for Smell-O-Vision.  Watch CBS News Videos Online

‘Me and Orson Welles’ Actress Kelly Reilly
Monday, November 23 by

Kelly Reilly is a proper British actress who plays a proper British female to perfection. She's starring in Me and Orson Welles, and this Christmas you can look for her in the slam bang action movie about a martial arts fighter: Sherlock Holmes.  A word from Kelly: "There’s nothing worse than being deadly serious about nudity."I don't know about that. Being nude all the time isn't too appealing either. How can we want to see you naked if you're always naked? The pics after the jump make me want to see Kelly naked.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Dances Around Like a Sissy Boy
Monday, November 23 by

First off, what's happening in the above picture? Moving on, this past Saturday Joseph Gordon-Levitt performed "Make 'Em Laugh" from Singin' in the Rain on Saturday Night Live, and while he didn't put the stellar Donald O'Connor to shame, he did complete some awesome wall flips. The kid's got spunk, I'll give 'em that. If you didn't watch Joseph's monologue, take a look below. It's guaranteed to make you possibly chuckle.  (via /Film)

‘Howling’ Reboot Is In The Works
Monday, November 23 by

This past weekend's success of New Moon has officially brought back the werewolf and it seems that Hollywood is joining Team Jacob. Variety reports that the classic horror film The Howling is moving forward with a reboot for release this Halloween. Seems like this trend is here to stay. I'm going to strike while the iron is hot and have my wolf shirt tattooed permanently to my chest.  (Variety)

12 Movies To Be Thankful For
Monday, November 23 by

This Thanksgiving, I thought about all the movies I’m thankful for. These aren’t just movies I like. These are movies that by all accounts should not exist at all, yet somehow they persevered through development, studio notes, critical derision and often box office failure, yet exist for eternity thanks to some filmmakers’ determination. Even in the last 10 years, there are 12 movies to relish on Black Friday morning when everybody’s up early shopping.South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut

‘Avatar’ Has a Reasonable Running Time
Saturday, November 21 by

150 minutes. That's the final number for Avatar's running time, not 7 hours like some of us expected. Of course when you add credits, trailers, commercials, and, since it's the holidays, a campaign for some charity you won't donate to, we COULD be looking at around 7 hours.Cameron has said that one of the contraints on his decision about running time was the Imax runs, which only allow a movie that's using the system to run 170 minutes at the longest. Of course, if Cameron really wanted a version longer than 170 minutes I believe he would have just invented a new Imax system. Cameron doesn't work with Imax, Imax works with him.(via THR)

Photobomb Fridays: Troy + 2 Horny Greeks
Friday, November 20 by

Achilles' never knew the real reason the opposing forces retreated so quickly. Cozy up with these weekend links.Thanksgiving Bingo Card (HolyTaco)Hilarious Attempt at World's Longest Basketball Shot (TotalProSports)Douchebags with Duckfaces (TheChive)View from the World's Tallest Building (SuperTremendous)Best of the New Moon Mashups (FilmDrunk)A Taste of Next Year's Horrible Horror Movies (Pajiba)New Moon Panned By Critics (CelebJihad)The Evolution of Microsoft Windows (Unreality)Best Playboy Covers of the '90s (Asylum)Alizee Paradis The Decade's Hottest College Athlete (BustedCoverage)Hockey Celebration Doesn't End Well (RegretfulMorning)'09 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show Gallery (MadeMan)Wreck of the Week: NASCAR with Friends (AllLeftTurns)Girls Kicks Fat Bastard's Ass (NothingToxic)What the Crap is New Moon? (Atom)

Witness Nic Cage’s Flowing Locks in ‘Season Of The Witch’ Trailer
Friday, November 20 by

Not to be confused with the crappy Halloween sequel of the same name, Season Of The Witch is a new gothic, thriller starring Sir Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman. The large-headed duo portray knights on a mission to bring a violent witch to an abbey for dewitchification and the witch is all like, "No. No. No." It's the Middle Ages equivalent of bringing Amy Winehouse to rehab.Check out the trailer after the jump.

‘New Moon’ Actress Ashley Greene
Friday, November 20 by

 Ashley Greene has starred in TV shows such as Crossing Jordan and Shark, but her big break came when she was cast as Alice Cullen in Twilight. Now she's reprising that role in New Moon, and I'm guessing that trend will continue for two more movies.A word from Ashley: "I think I’d like to play one of the villain vampires!"Be grateful for the role you were given!And YOU be grateful for the pics after the jump.

Steven Spielberg and Stephen King Bring Stephven Power to ‘Dome’
Friday, November 20 by

Steven Spielberg and Stephen King are teaming up to create a limited series based on King's recently released supernatural-thriller 'Under The Dome.' Dreamworks TV has optioned the book and is looking to set it up as an event series, likely for cable. The book revolves around the drama that unfolds after an invisible force field suddenly descends on a small vacation town in Maine. As the locals fight for their survival, the town descends into warring factions led by enigmatic characters.Dreamworks is starting to meet with writers, but I don't imagine Matt Groening and James L. Brooks will be considered. They've already done a similar project, and it would be silly to rework the material.(via Variety)

Jason Segel Wants You to Call Him
Friday, November 20 by

Jason Segel wants college girls interested in having sex with him to call him at 315-329-6673. He even wrote a little ditty about it and performed it with The Swell Season (Once actors Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova) at The Wiltern in Los Angeles last Wednesday. When you call the number you are given an email address to contact Segel (helptronics@gmail.com). No word yet if he responds, but if he screws even half the girls that write to him we're not going to be seeing him on a movie screen anytime soon. (/Film) 

‘Lost’ Final Season Premieres This February
Friday, November 20 by

The survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 have finally landed… on a date for the premiere of their sixth season. Exec producer Carlton Cuse announced via the tweets that the show will return to f*cking our minds on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 at 9PM. No word yet on whether the plot-line will pick up where we last left off or if we'll see a new, alternate time-line in the final season. Regardless of what goes down, I'm sure it will get all mucked up by Sayid when gets tricked or caught in some kind of rope trap. He consistently screws everything up but remains a fan favorite. HOW?! I hate that tanktop-loving dope. (TV Overmind)

‘Red Cliff’ Clip’s Horseplay Defies Physics
Thursday, November 19 by

Red Cliff "Get Out of Here" Clip – Watch more Movie Trailers  In Ancient China, they played Capture The Flag for keeps. Check out more Asian ballet fighting in this clip from John Woo's film. Capture these links…   Flowchart to Determine What Your Nickname Should Be (HolyTaco) Reeboks New Commercials are Dirty (TotalProSports) Girls Doing the Splits (TheChive) Eddie Murphy Gettin' R-Rated (FilmDrunk) 20 Funniest Photoshopped Obama Photos (SuperTremendous) 5 Noninspirational Inspirational Football Films (Pajiba) Megan Fox Posing in Panties for The NY Times (CelebJihad) 10 Great Celebrity Audition Tapes (Unreality) 5 Most Irritating Kinds of Ads (Asylum) Drunk Cincinnati Cyclones Fan Likes Jumping (BustedCoverage) My Girlfriend's Vagina is Loose, What Now? (RegretfulMorning) 22 Cufflinks for Techies (MadeMan) Jimmie Johnson Won't Win the Chase (AllLeftTurns)

‘Jackass 3D’ Could Put Unpleasant Things in Your Face
Thursday, November 19 by

Jackass 3D is on Paramount's slate for 2010, and my senses couldn't be more disturbed. It's difficult to bare the Jackass stunts when they are at a safe distance, but a Steve-O's God-knows-what flopping around in front of my face? Neh eh. Some things we're meant to be left flat, veeeeeery rarely mind you, and Jackass might just be one of those things.There isn't any official news on the squeakqual (because those guys fart a lot), but the first two films were a box office success so it makes sense that Paramount would line up another one. Just imagine the kind of rig their going to have to construct to get a 3D shot of Johnny Knoxville lighting his pubes on fire with Everclear and Sterno. I think we've finally discovered what this transformative technology was meant for. (via /Film)

Conan O’Brien Warns Parents Against ‘New Moon’
Thursday, November 19 by

Last night on The Tonight Show, Conan O'Brien brought to the public's attention some inappropriate content that seems to infest tomorrow's much anticipated release New Moon. As if a pack of shirtless werewolves wasn't a bad enough slaughter of a teen's moral fiber, they had to take it three steps farther. If I had a teenage daughter she would NOT be seeing New Moon tomorrow. No siree. I'd rather she'd be having unprotected sex with some townie at a kegger than being exposed to this filth. 

‘New Moon’ Actress Anna Kendrick
Thursday, November 19 by

Anna Kendrick is just so damn adorable. She's also a natural born actress. She was great in the movie Rocket Science as a fast talking master debater, I'm sure she's great in New Moon (I'll ask some tween), and she's already getting major buzz for her role opposite The Clooney in Up in the Air. A word from Anna: "I'm a big dork."Adorable!Check out more ADORABLE pics after the jump.

Create A ‘Simpsons’ Character Contest Yields A New Character
Thursday, November 19 by

In celebration of the 20th season of The Simpsons, a contest was held to create a new character. The winner of the 25,000+ received entries is 52 year-old Peggy Black of Orange, CT. Her character, Ricardo Bomba (pictured below), is a handsome, smooth-talking, hot-blooded lothario who's set to liquify the town's panties on the January 31st episode."Rrrri-carrr-do Bomba," Black said when describing the character, extravagantly rolling the "R's" in Spanish-language fashion. She then added, "You look mah-velous!!!" Soon after, her spinning bowtie went awry and cut her chin up pretty badly. (Yahoo)

T.J. Miller Auditions for ‘Yogi Bear’
Thursday, November 19 by

What better way to win the role of Ranger Jones in the Yogi Bear movie than to audition with a bear? That's exactly what comedian T.J. Miller decided to do after auditioning twice and still feeling like he needed that extra something to rise to the top of the pack. Actually, T.J. made the video with director Jordan Vogt-Roberts as a joke, but it got into the hands of Barry M. Meyer, chairman of Warner Bros., who enjoyed it while most likely chortling loudly through a thick cloud of cigar smoke. I just figure that's the only way studio moguls watch anything. T.J. will leave for New Zealand tomorrow to begin shooting. Doesn't leave much time for the method approach to acting… (TheApiary)