"I duddits!!"We warned you that it would take over the world but you but you didn't listen. Had you shuttered up your windows, none of us would be in this mess. James Cameron's Avatar dominated the box office for a third weekend in a row, easily outpacing every other release and all of Tiger Woods' mistresses combined. And on a global level, the film has passed the $1 billion mark. Think of how many of these hats that kind of money can buy.There are only four other films in the billion dollar club. They are Cameron's own Titanic ($1.843 billion), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King ($1.119 billion), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest ($1.066 billion), and The Dark Knight ($1.001 billion). With a $1.022 billion take after only 21 days, expect Avatar to give Titanic a run for its money.With this surge of wealth, you can also expect James Cameron to spend the next ten years developing a new technology in order to make it rain more realistically on them hoes. (THR)
America Olivo has appeared in TV shows and stuff, but her most memorable sequence thus far has to be the camping tent sex scene in the Friday the 13th remake. That movie sucks serious balls, but all the naked ladies are quite fantastic.A word from America: "I'm a fan of anything my mother does."I'M a fan of anything your mother does. Like me. OH SNAP! I hope that snide comment doesn't hurt our chances of hooking up.Judging by the pics after the jump, America's mother must be hot.
Like Dexter and Paranormal Activity before it, Jersey Shore will be given the porn treatment. To clarify, Jersey Shore the program is being given the porn treatment, not the cast. The Jersey Shore castmembers are not in any pornos (yet). Zero Tolerance Entertainment has announced via the NSFW Popporn that they plan to artistically birth a porn parody of the MTV reality hit. Jersey Whores will be written and directed by Spock Buckton and Brian Bangs with Mike Quasar pointing a camera (and his penis) at it.I'm confused. Up until ten minutes ago I assumed Jersey Shore WAS a porno. Just one with an irritatingly slow build. Guess I'll pull my pants back on now. (via Warming Glow)
Jack Bauer and the case of Now Where Did I Park My Car… In spite of rumors that Jack Bauer would be playing peek-a-boo with his grandchild for 24 episodes of this season of 24, it appears the writers came up with something a tad more action-y. Who knew that Jack wouldn't be content settling down and enjoying the simpler things in life? I knew, because men who gauge out eyes with Bic pens don't just trade that in for fishie faces and ants on a log. Below is a trailer and a featurette for the brand spankin' new 8th season of 24. Yes, Jack has had seven miserable, exhausting, terrorist-filled days and it looks like he's in store for another one. Maybe this season ends with him battling the lack of oxygen getting to his brain. In other words, a stroke, like most normal people would have faced by now. The official synopsis goes as such:
Production Weekly is reporting that the long-gestating prequel to John Carpenter's The Thing will begin filming in two months. Commercial director Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. (thanks for the easy to spell name, Dad) will helm the alien vs human thriller, which is shooting in Toronto from March to June. The script, written by Ronald D. Moore (Battlestar Galactica) and Eric Heissere (A Nightmare On Elm Street), tells the story of the doomed Norwegian camp that is found tattered and decimated in the original. There's no word yet on casting or more importantly on who will be handling the special effects. Here's hoping that the producers are respectful to the original and don't go with someone like Channing Tatum. Dude's acting is whatever and his visual effects portfolio is WEAK. (Production Weekly)
If you hate special effects and love on-stage, low-budget renditions of blockbuster action movies than the Old Murder House Mystery Theater could be right up your alley. The troupe, an off-shoot of the War Room Collective, a group of filmmakers from the Savannah College of Art and Design, has performed stage productions of Jurassic Park and The Lion King/Predator, and now they've brought Roland Emmerich's "masterpiece" Independence Day to Off-Broadway. Check out the stripped-down, raw action and effects after the jump. Welcome to earth.
I'm sure you all remember this monkey going apesh*t over magic tricks. Well now here he is purchasing baked goods and being chased by bulldogs. Things are slightly askew in Japan… (via WarmingGlow)
To make the hardcore fight sequences in The Book of Eli look as realistic and kick-ass as possible, Denzel Washington worked with famed fight choreographer Jeff Imada. Jeff also worked on a little fighting movie called Fight Club. He did Fight Club, people. The movie about fighting! Suffice it to say The Book of Eli will garner some amazing fight sequences, and Denzel takes them on all by himself. When you absolutely positively have to kill every motherf*cker in the room, accept no substitutions. Check out the fight training video after the jump. The Book of Eli resurrects itself in theaters January 15th, 2010.
"Thank you for this grand honour."Patrick Stewart no longer has to pretend to be a knight to pick up chicks. Queen Elizabeth II has bestowed knighthood upon the Star Trek / X-Men actor for his Excellence in Being British (or something like that) on her New Year honors list. Also knighted, but on a seperate New Zealand list, was LOTR and King Kong director Peter Jackson.I sincerely hope that Stewart and Jackson do not take this honor lightly. You never know when the Queen may call you to fight. If you had paid attention during Reign of Fire, you'd know that dragon attacks can happen at any time. (NBC)
You'd think a princess would know when she's being played.Open wide for today's links.25 Best Memes of 2009 (HolyTaco)Woman's Basketball Team Poses for Sexy Calendar (TotalProSports)Holy Sh*t Bar Refaeli is Hot (TheChive)The Hottest Girls of the SEC (Maxim)Worst Trailers of the Year (FilmDrunk)Best Viral Videos of the Decade (Manofest)Biggest Box Office Flops of 2010 (Pajiba)Selena Gomez Forgets to Wear Pants (CelebJihad)Writing Utensils Make Good Weapons (Unreality)Best of the 2010 Bikini Calendars (Asylum)Here Are Some Nice Tramps (RegretfulMorning)How to Keep Your New Year's Resolutions (MadeMan)2010 NASCAR Sprint Cup Predictions (AllLeftTurns)
Did ya hear the news?!! You can be the envy of all your friends until 9:07pm February 2nd, 2010. That's right! 815 lucky viewers have the opportunity to view an exclusive sneak peek of the first six minutes of LOST season six.In order to do so, visit the sweepstakes site and answer six questions about the show. Winners will receive a digital "message in a bottle" that contains the opening minutes of the premiere four full days before it is scheduled to air. That gives you 96 hours and 6 minutes to feel self-important. After that, you're a schmuck like the rest of us.Am I going to enter? F*ck yeah. This is an out-of-context six minutes of LOST we're talking about here. (ABC)
Rob McElhenney, the creator and star of the FX comedy It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, looks like a man with a child actor's head. But that's not the story here.It's being reported that McElhenney has purchased a bar in Philadelphia along with his co-star/wife Kaitlin Olson. The plan is to name the grog house after Mac's Old Towne Tavern, the bar featured in the show. This guy is a genius. Not only does he come out of nowhere to co-create one of the best comedies on television, use that show to get a hot wife, but now he can also pay Danny Devito in beer with low overhead. Genius. (via Eater via Warming Glow)
Kourtney Kardashian is known for being the older, less attractive sister of Kim Kardashian. Also, she just had a baby. Gross. A word from Kourtney: "There's so many times I'll forget to take my pill and I don't think it's that big of a deal."Yeah, no big deal. The only downside is you get BABIES!!!Practice safe sex by checking out the pics after the jump.
Unlike our stance on orgasming, we waited until the last possible minute to do this list. You’ll probably angrily chant "Rabble, rabble, rabble!" in disagreement, but that’s what makes these…
In an apparent "F YOU" to Planet Hollywood, Mila Kunis decided to burn her The Book Of Eli wardrobe once production had wrapped. From Kunis: "I kept none of my ensemble from the film. It was so dirty and filthy. In fact I burned it in effigy when we wrapped production." C'mon Mila. It couldn't have been that bad. As we can see from this trailer for the Denzel as Mad Max post apocalyptic thriller, the outfit doesn't seem that bad. It's a flannel, wool vest, and combat boots. A.) You're from the Ukraine, you should be used to that look, and B.) Rosie O'Donnell would pay good money for threads like that. (WENN)
Husband and wife team Eva Longoria & Toni Parker recreated the "Summer Nights" musical number from Grease, someone filmed it, and now it will live on forever. Instead of a sex tape we get this eye raping. Thanks, universe. Calm your nerves with these links.Who Will Die in 2010? (HolyTaco) Hockey Hit Leaves Blood on the Ice (TotalProSports) The Sol Beer Girls are Hot (TheChive) A Funny Montage of Movie Laughs (Maxim) The Bear Jew Made Nazi Propaganda (FilmDrunk) Don't Mess with Exorcist Cat (SuperTremendous) Pajiba's Person of the Decade (Pajiba) Kourtney Kardashian's Bastard Baby Photos (CelebJihad) Minimalist TV Show Designs are Artsy, Awesome (Unreality) Scripts for Your Casual Sexual Role-Playing (Asylum) 8 Memorable Movie Explosions (RegretfulMorning) Brush Up on Your Speed Dating Skills (MadeMan) 25 Greatest MMA Knockouts of 2009 (CagePotato) What is the Watermill Score? (AllLeftTurns)
We all know Kim Kardashian, I just haven't done a post of her yet so I thought I'd go ahead and do that. She's famous for being famous, and having sex with a rapper.A word from Kim: "I have a sex tape with a Black guy! That's why I'm famous!"See? Even SHE admits it. But damn if she can't wear a shirt. Or not wear one. Check out more pics of Kim and her assets after the jump.
Someone spent a loooooooot of time building a near exact replica of the DeLorean from Back to the Future and now they're hawking it on eBay for you, or someone with more money than you, to purchase. I actually saw this very DeLorean at a car show in Culver City, CA this past Summer, and I have to say it's a pretty amazing contraption. The only downside is it doesn't come equipped with a flux capacitor, arguably the coolest part of the DeLorean in the film, and the interior smells like the remains of Christopher Lloyd's career. That stuff's like cigarette smoke, it just doesn't come out.So far there's been one bid on Doc's DeLorean and it's currently at $59,000.00 with the reserve price unmet. If you choose, you can also purchase the car at the current "Buy It Now" price of $89,000.00.Check out all the stats at the eBay page and see a few more pics of the souped-up DeLorean after the jump.
I've heard of a circumcision, but this is ridiculous! Universal decided to take Repo Men from its shelf of Movies We Don't Want To Release, dust it off, and release it. It tells of a near future when human life spans have been greatly extended by expensive artificial organs created by a company called The Union. When people fail to make their payments for a fancy new liver or other piece of their gut, a team of surgical operatives are sent out to reclaim The Union’s property. The film follows two of these guys, played by Jude Law and Forest Whitaker. (via /Film) I have trouble suspending my disbelief in regards to Jude Law as an action star and anyone giving Forest Whitaker a license to cut people open when they have no way of knowing what he sees through that one weird eye. Maybe it zooms in on stuff. Check out the Red Band Repo Men trailer after the jump. Beware, it's not safe for work due to all the blood and Liev Schreiber-ness.
Whether Mr. J.J. Abrams likes it or not, Zoe Saldana refuses to keep her pretty little mouth shut about the Star Trek sequel, unofficially titled Star Trek: Uhura's Quest for Spock's Nuts. Yay for all of us! She said Abrams, Alex Kurtzman, and Roberto Orci are all still working on the script, and that they'll probably be going into pre-production around this time next year.It's just pre-production, people. That means they'll start making drawings of how they want the shiny sets and costumes to look. Then once they decide how many whatevers should hang from the whatever, they have to make those whatevers a reality. Someone will probably get injured during construction, which will cause a delay, and during that time J.J. will realize there's a huge plot hole in the script. I expect to see the Star Trek sequel in 2015. (MTV)
People die, and it's very sad, but when you're famous, or even "famous," television networks and award ceremonies put together an in memorium video that reminds everyone that you died, how attractive you were when you were younger, and how you used to work on projects that weren't complete sh*t. Below is a remembrance video that Turner Classic Movies put together that does all those things, and also displays some fantastic Autumn foliage. Are the dead people supposed to be the wind or the leaves? My guess is there's a little bit of them in every one of us. It's comforting to know that Michael Jackson is inside me right now.
It's one thing to work years creating a breakthrough technology that will revolutionize cinema as we know it, and it's another thing to work years figuring out how to ilegally record the aforementioned breakthrough. Bootlegging is an art, and bootlegging Avatar is a bootlegging artist's Mona Lisa. (via IWatchStuff)We give credit where credit is due with these links.25 Hottest Women of 2009 (HolyTaco) Top 10 Embarrassing Sports Moments of 2009 (TotalProSports) Millenium Falcon Bed Guarantees Zero Sex (TheChive) 100 Twitter Accounts for Guys (Maxim) James Cameron Tells Fan to F**k Off (FilmDrunk) 20 Amazing Cheese Sculptures (SuperTremendous) Most Painful Movie-Going Experiences of the Aughts (Pajiba) Pics of Olivia Wilde's Booty (CelebJihad) Really Creepy Real Children's Books (Unreality) Sexiest Magazine Covers of 2009 (Asylum) 35 Hot Girls Wearing Santa Hats (RegretfulMorning) 2009 Chickipedia Hot 100 (MadeMan) Top 10 NASCAR Women of 2009 (AllLeftTurns) Massive Soccer Hooligan Brawl (NothingToxic) Atom's Best of 2009 (Atom)
Our friends over at Heeb Magazine snagged a nice little interview with director Harold Ramis, and they got some info out of him regarding the progress of Ghostbusters 3:We’ll introduce some new young Ghostbusters, and all the old guys will be in it, too. Think Christopher Lloyd in Back to the Future … GB3 is progressing with plans to shoot next summer and release in 2011 … Oh, and I have two one-of-a-kind Ghostbuster yarmulkes sent by fans. Screw the news about the movie, Ramis has Ghostbuster yarmulkes! I'll be the envy of all my temple.. There have been a lot of rumors lately regarding the development of the latest Ghostbusters film, so let's just hope Ramis isn't talking a big game. I want to see all the people in the top picture do the same dance, but each carrying at least 50 more pounds now.Check out the rest of the interview with Harold Ramis here.
Leo emerges from a basin of amniotic fluid. The new trailer for Inception has hit, and even though this one's in English I still have no idea what that f*ck is going on. Last week we showed you the French version which made a lot more sense in the sense that it was foreign and foreign things are weird. What I gather from this trailer is what we already know about the movie: Leo DiCaprio is entering people's minds and stealing images/thoughts/dreams/wet dreams with a sleek, metallic vibrator. He also likes to spin a dreidel to work through problems. Can I surmise that his character is Jewish? Oh Nolan, why won't you give me more! Oy vey! Check out the new Inception trailer at Apple.
Okay, this better SERIOUSLY be it. Spike Lee edited together old footage of Michael Jackson with some new wide, fast push-in shots to create the final music video for his final song, This Is It. Lee's probably livid (he gets livid a lot) that the director of High School Musical, Kenny Ortega, got to direct the big screen version of M.J.'s farewell, and he wanted to create his own harmonious images of the now months dead superstar. Check out the video below if you still have an interest. (via PerezHilton)
Carla Gallo starred in Judd Apatow's short-lived sitcom Undeclared, and has popped up in most of his films ever since. She sucked Steve Carell's toes in The 40 Year Old Virgin and got awkwardly banged by Jason Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. She can now be seen serving Scott Bakula his coffee in Men of a Certain Age.A word from Carla: "The minute I get home I change into a pair of pink Juicy bottoms I bought 5 years ago. Daily. Not kidding. They smell like the CEO of HBO's jizz." When you walk around with JUICY tagged across your ass, the CEO of HBO is bound to take it literally.Check out some more JUICY photos of Carla after the jump.
Kim Kardashian Carls Jr. Commercial – Watch more Funny VideosIt was only a matter of time until this happened. Kim Kardashian has gone and sold another piece of her soul by starring in a Carl's Jr. fast food exploitation advertisment, and I'm not complaining the tiniest bit. Give that grilled chicken walnut leafy thing all you got, Kim. Then think about what you've done in a nice warm bubble bath while you continue indulging. Damn, I just got dressing all over my desk.
I pity the fool who doesn't offer compensation in the form of Snickers! I realize this is going to shatter your world, but it doesn't look like Mr. T is going to make a cameo appearance in The A-Team picture film. Dwight Schultz, the original "Howling Mad" Murdoch, and Dirk Benedict, the original "Faceman" Peck, are still rumored to possibly grace the screen, but Mr. T has given director Joe Carnahan a mild middle finger.Apparently it's not about the money (or Snickers) either. He simply just doesn't see the point in making such a small appearance (as he won't be on set long enough to stockpile Snickers). Mr. T is content with his life right now and enjoying giving back to the community. Pardon me while a make the universal sign for "jerk me off" with my free hand. I guess he can't take a day off from barking nonsensical orders at the volunteers of Habitat for Humanity to pal around on The A-Team set. Don't worry though, the most you'll miss from his absence is a slight, amused smile and you thinking to yourself, "Hey, that's Mr. T on screen in The A-Team Movie. How amusing." (via LatinoReview)
Allllright, who's playing a trick on the people over at the film Deadline? If this is a publicity stunt, kudos, everyone. Ku-dos. DVD retailer Redbox, after realizing that they're advertising Brittany Murphy dead in a bathtub and she recently died in bathtub, decided to clean up the panic-induced sh*t in their tighty-whities and pull the poster for Deadline. The recall of the image from over 19,000 kiosks nationwide will take 7 to 10 days to complete, and the film's distributor is working on an alternate DVD cover image. They're running on the assumption that Britany Murphy really is dead and not simply trying to push copies of her latest film. It's probably good to error on the side of caution, but if Murphy reemerges from her tomb in a few days, Redbox is going to look awfully silly. (via Cinematical)