They turned to the healing power of laughter.
Here are your weekend links.
13 Reasons Dolph Lundgren Is A Modern Renaissance Man (Moviefone)
Judge Resigns After At-Work Porn Stash Discovered (Asylum)
10 Most Violent Juggalo Attacks Ever (Ranker)
7 PC Alternatives To 'Beat Whitey Night' (HolyTaco)
Godard Is Missing (FilmDrunk)
We're On A Boat! (Maxim)
A Girl Pukes In Zero Gravity (BarStoolSports)
20 Things You Should Think You Know About: Tom Cruise (EgoTV)
20 Terrifically Terrible A-List Celebrity Movie Deaths (Pajiba)
The Laid Back Fellowship Of The Ring (Unreality)
Incredible Pass Leads To Great Soccer Goal (TotalProSports)
20 Epic Cardboard Robot Costumes (Smosh)
Top 10 Butts Shots On The Lovely Panties Tumblr Blog (BroBible)
Olivia Wilde Wears Ill-Fitting Bikini (CelebJihad)
James Toney Isn't A Fan Of A Lot Fighters (CagePotato)
Frankie Muniz Is Jealous Of Bryan Cranston (PopEater)
Spreadable Cocktail Hour (MadeMan)
The Best Of The Batch In A Very Lackluster Summer (Moviehopping)
Neil Marshall has signed on to direct Underground, a horror thriller writen by David Cohen. The film will take place in "the world of gourmet underground supper clubs."
That doesn't sound very scary. I've been to more than a few supper clubs in Wisconsin, and the only thing I found frightening was the brownswager (a.k.a. liverwurst) and a few of the more obese patrons. There has to be more to this story…and there is!
According to producers, "the protagonist is an ambitious young chef who ventures into the terrifying underbelly of extreme cuisine."
Holy crap, what are they cooking that's so extreme! Now I'm scared! Sort of. Actually, to be honest, I kind of have a taste for brownswager. But I'll settle for this soylent green imitation brownswager, instead. I wonder what it's made of. (Deadline)
Quoth the Raven, "Herpity derp!"
John Cusack has announced via his Twitter that he will be playing all around bad boy Edgar Allan Poe in James McTeigue's thriller The Raven. The movie won't be about a guy in a room who keeps hearing strange knocking (Cusack already did that in 1408), but instead "a serial killer thriller in which the famed horror author would have to solve clues of a string of murders based on his stories."
Considering Poe wasn't a stranger to smoking a boat-load of opium for inspiration, I wonder if they'll incorporate that character trait into the film. Nothing would give me more pleasure than watching John Cusack stumbling around 1850s Baltimore stoned out of his gourd on barbiturates. It would be like a really old school episode of "The Wire." (ComingSoon)
Don't just stand there, you guys! Do something!
Stephen Dorff is all set to carjack Maria Bello. No silly, the actor isn't turning to desperate measures, he's got an honest-to-goodness job. Carjacked revolves around “a single mother and her child who are carjacked by a thief who has no intention of letting them go.” Ron Perlman and Saffron Burrows were once set to play the jacker and jackee, but execs had a hard time believing anyone would stay in a car with Ron Perlman all night, even against their will. The man's a great actor, but me oh my, what a face.
Take the car, take the kid, whatever you want! Just stop breathing on me! (Collider)
Noted screenwriter and producer Alex Kurtzman is set to make his directorial debut with Welcome to People. The film is being produced by a man who, despite his influence in the industry, is not well known outside of Hollywood: director Steven Spielberg. Kurtzman first worked for Spielberg on his production of Transformers. While he has gone on to produce various TV shows, including "Fringe" and CBS's upcoming remake of "Hawaii Five-0," the director's chair has alluded him until now.
Welcome to People tells the story of a man whose estranged father dies, leaving instructions for his son to deliver $150,000 to a sister he never knew existed. The man wants to keep the money for himself, but can't help but investigate his long-lost sibling.
When my dad passed away, he left me $150 and stipulated that I should deliver it personally to my estranged second cousin while she was working at The Box Office, a gentlemen's club in the next town over. Well, he didn't really stimpulate it so much as he implied it by not specifically saying that I shouldn't. I miss you, dad. (Collider)
The image of the ultimate bad-ass chick pops up every time the name Michelle Rodriguez is mentioned. Either when she's stealing cars in Fast & Furious, shooting zombies in Resident Evil, playing an Apache air pilot in Avatar, or getting arrested for punching someone's lights out, she is part legend, part actress and all tough babe. With Machete opening next Friday, M. Rod gets to send another kapow! to the kisser as the mysterious revolutionary fighter known as SHE.
A word from Michelle: "My favorite part of my body is my brain. I think no matter what my body looks like I won't be satisfied unless I know how to use it."
Sounds like an answer for a job interview. Congratulations! You're hired!
More pics of Michelle after the jump…
If you watch "Mad Men" then you know how the previews for the following weeks' episodes are pure bullsh*t. All we get are cryptic phrases and the occasional highball glass smashed over dramatic music. John Duffy decided to edit a few "On the Next Mad Men" previews of his own using footage from familiar TV shows and movies. The "Always Sunny in Philadelphia" one above definitely has me intrigued. How will Charlie slap Dee's face off of her face?! Check out more of John's previews here. (BuzzFeed)
Screenwriters Stephen J. Rivele and Chris Wilkinson have been hired to write the Tupac Shakur biopic, and they promise that their approach "is not in any way biopic-y." The original draft written by Steven Bagatourian was gonna get all up in 2Pac's bidness by laying out facts documentary style. But Wilkinson says that approach was skeet and their script will center on the last day of Tupac's life, using flashbacks to show the final four years of thugness leading up to it. Don't quote him on that exact wording. I added some flava. Rivele spit this flow for Vulture:
"This is the story of an artist whose character is at odds with his medium," explains Rivele, "He was a really sensitive, very romantic, talented young poet who also could sing, dance, and act. But the realities [of the hip-hop record business] were that he had to create this persona of the gangster."
Sounds like me in high school. Turns out starring as the lead in South Pacific doesn't command the respect you'd think it would. But wrap a bandana around your head and shoot the janitor, suddenly everyone's afraid of you. Antoine Fuqua is set to direct the Tupac biopic, and is currently searching for an unknown actor to play the late-rapper. I suggest he consider casting Tupac himself since we all know he's alive and well living out the rest of his days in suburbia tending to his tomato garden.
Patrick Fabian is a face you’ve seen on TV many times before but never took the time to find out who he is on imdb. This week, the long time…
This comes from a gossip site, so take it for what it's worth, but Brad Pitt is supposedly in talks to star in a film adaptation of the groundbreaking videogame, Red Dead Redemption.
Published by Rockstar Games, the same company behind the Grand Theft Auto franchise, RDR tells the story of John Marston, a former outlaw who can't escape his past during the final days of the Old West. Supposedly, Pitt has been given the right of first refusal for the Marston role.
Hopefully this rumor turns out to be true. Hollywood is already putting money behind crap like Battleship, so why not develop a film around Red Dead. The game has a solid plot and more interesting characters than half the films I've seen this year, so the heavy lifting is done. And if it works out, maybe someone will finally make a movie based on my favorite videogame of all time, Avoid the Noid. (Cinemablend)
Did you like the Karate Kid remake? Did you like Kung Fu Panda? Then you're going to love the Karate Kid sequel. Why? Because you're obviously ten-years old and you'll like anything they put in front of you. I'll tell you who "they" are when you're older.
But you'll also like the Karate Kid sequel because the screenwriters for Kung Fu Panda, Cyrus Voris and Ethan Reiff, have been hired to write the script. Of course, by the time the film comes out in 2013, you'll have already hit puberty, which means maybe you'll have grown out of children's movies. But if you're anything like me, you'll retreat back to your childhood once Cindy Johnson rejects you in front of the entire biology class and makes you the laughing stock of the whole school. (Empire)
Albert Brooks isn't exactly considered a bad-ass. Finding Nemo and Defending Your Life don't usually strike fear into the hearts of men. Aside from his cameo as a supervillain on "The Simpsons," he usually plays a mild-mannered guy…until now.
Behold, Albert Brooks 2.0. Now the famed comedian is 90% more menacing thanks to his upcoming role in Drive, directed by Nicolas Winding Refn. In the film, Brooks will play a New York mobster named Bernie Rose who moves to L.A. to kick ass and take names. The film also stars Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan and Bryan Cranston, who has turned into a bit of a bad-ass himself thanks to "Breaking Bad."
Now that Brooks has gone tough guy, can fellow comedian and neurotic Jew Richard Lewis be far behind? Only time will tell. (Deadline)
In case the hot drinks tutorial didn't quench your thirst…
Pour these links over ice.
How Much Do You Know About The Culkin Clan? (Moviefone)
NYC Artist Killing Ants With McDonald's Food (Asylum)
Kim Jong-il Owns Some Cool S*#t (Ranker)
25 Awesome Courtroom Brawl Videos (HolyTaco)
'Human Centipede' Sequel To Be 400% More Medically Accurate (FilmDrunk)
Hottest Bosses From Movies (Maxim)
Meet Hippo Face Man (BarStoolSports)
Man Attempting To Put 3 Million Miles On His '66 Volvo (EgoTV)
A Serbian Film: A Review That Will Break You (Pajiba)
Rock Band Of The Future (Unreality)
9 Most Annoying Sports Broadcasters (TotalProSports)
Zombie Attack Plan (Smosh)
5 Things The College Admissions Office Doesn't Tell You (BroBible)
Selena Gomez Is About To Be Deported Again (CelebJihad)
Arianny Celeste To Pose For Playboy's November Issue (CagePotato)
Crocodile Dundee Can't Leave Australia (PopEater)
Custom Color Magic Trackpad (MadeMen)
The final season of "Lost" was probably one of the most anticipated seasons of a TV show of all time. Each episode was fiercely debated and often maligned for either not answering enough or providing unsatisfactory answers. Regardless of how you felt about this last season, I think we can all agree that "Lost" is fairly unique among television and helped reintroduce sci-fi back into mainstream primetime (which might be a bad thing. Looking at you "Threshhold," "Invasion," "Flashforward," "V," etc).
More after the jump…
The opening of The Last Exorcism this weekend (read my review here) marks the first theatrically released movie for German-born and American Film Institute-trained filmmaker Daniel Stamm. Screen Junkies sat…
When you see it…
Channing Tatum is organizing (producing) a fictional high school reunion for himself and few of his closest friends. Ten Years is an ensemble drama about classmates chumming it up again a decade after their graduation. It'll be like The Big Chill, except they'll dance to "Lady Marmalade" instead of "Heard It Through The Grapevine."
Tatum is already sending out his Save the Dates to several actors he'd like to attend. Tatum's wife, Jenna Dewan ("Step Up"), Anna Faris, Chris Pratt ("Parks and Rec"), Chris Pine and Scott Porter ("Friday Night Lights") should all be expecting theirs from their agents soon. They can either respond or just ignore Channing entirely. He'll find some other friends who like him for him and not the man he used to be or was hoping to become. (THR)
(Above) Jeremy Renner's First Solo Album: Can I Borrow a Feeling
The Hurt Locker's Jeremy Renner will co-star with Tom Cruise in the fourth installment of the Mission: Impossible franchise, Deadline is reporting. Yesterday it was rumored that Paramount was in search of a younger actor to join the film with the hope that he could take over the staring role once Cruise steps aside. But the studio ultimately decided on the 41-year-old Renner, who they felt had a "Daniel Craig quality."
While Renner is a great actor, I really don't understand the logic behind bringing him in. After Knight and Day bombed, it was reported that Paramount wanted a star to help compensate for Cruise's waning box-office appeal. Is Renner the man for that job? If you really want this thing to be a hit, you need to cast Taylor Lautner or maybe The Situation. That's how you get asses in the seats, damn it.
Olga Kurylenko is someone we all remember from the last James Bond movie. As a Soviet born model turned actress, she shows that looks can be very deadly. With her new film Centurion opening this Friday, she shows us why you shouldn't f*ck around with a half-naked native girl carrying a huge sword.
A word from Olga: "I have NO problem going nude!"
And I have no problem with that.
More pics of Olga after the jump…
Sorry all you Fart Face fans, but the man behind the character you love so dearly is packing his fart face up and traveling on. Will Forte will not return to "Saturday Night Live" for the show's 36th season. Neither NBC nor Forte's people would offer a P.C. response as to why, but apparently the split is "amicable," like they always are according to lawyers.
The actor is now free to pursue other projects that aren't on Saturday night or live. The question is, can he remain relevant in movies for long if he's not continuely exposed to fans on "SNL"? MacGruber didn't do him any favors. I think Forte's a funny guy and all, but he's not exactly a household name like Will Ferrell was when he decided to jump Lorne Michael's ship. Unless your household is particularly fond of twisted, weird-ass sketches. In which case, your family should have dinner together more often. (Movieline)
Len Lesser (Left) | Kim Kardashian (Right)
Just when you thought Kim Kardashian couldn't sink any lower, she goes on Facebook and harasses an 87-year-old man. And not just any 87-year old. We're talking about Len Lesser, the guy who played Uncle Leo on "Seinfeld!"
Len Lesser called Burbank police last night after receiving a slew of calls from people who kept asking, "Are you Uncle Leo?" The 87-year-old couldn't take it anymore so cops came to his house.
While at Lesser's home, an officer intercepted one of the calls and asked where the caller had found the number. As it turns out, someone posing as Kim Kardashian on Facebook posted the information, not the reality/porn star herself. However, I think it wouldn't be a bad idea to throw Kardashain in jail until the whole thing gets sorted out, just in case.
In the meantime, Lesser should start answering his phone with "Vandelay Industries" in order to throw the callers off his trail. (TMZ)
Steve Carell is on the search for a boyfriend for his wife in A Boyfriend for My Wife. Judging by the title, you'd think it was for your wife, but it's not. He's got no G.D. business interferring with your marriage.
The film is a remake of 2008 Argentine comedy Un novio para mi mujer, in which "a timid husband believes the only way out of his stifling marriage is to get his wife to fall in love with another man, so he enlists the help of a legendary yet unlikely Lothario." It seems that the more interesting role is the one that Carell will not be playing. The casting of the Lothario character could make or break this idea. I wouldn't worry too much though. They got the guys who wrote Snow Dogs to adapt the script, and we all know what that fresh take on snow dog films did for Cuba Gooding Jr.'s career…………………………………………………………………………………. (Variety)
There are some actors and actresses who should have pulled the plug on their careers years ago, but they have instead continued to Chuck Liddell us (that’s a reference to an MMA fighter who won’t retire, if you're not into the octagon) with the same boring, uninspired appearances in the latest schlock that they are getting paid to sleepwalk through. But let’s also not forget the directors out there that keep doing the same to us. There’s a horde of filmmakers who used to be pretty damn good or at least did a couple of good films early on in their careers, but who now only turn out movies that make us want to resort to Weekend at Bernie’s II again and again. There are many offenders, but for now we’ll look at ten who should hang up their directing beret.
While Peter Jackson is confident that the legal squabble between Warner Bros. and MGM over The Hobbit will be resolved "sometime soon," the Lord of the Rings prequel may not be his primary concern.
During an interview with New Zealand's Dominion Post, the acclaimed director discussed plans for his long-awaited ANZAC project, which would depict the exploits of the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps during World War I. Jackson hopes to complete the project before the 100th anniversary of the disastrous Battle of Gallipoli in 2015.
"It was doomed because while the Australians charged the Nek from below, the New Zealanders, who were supposed to simultaneously attack from above, didn't show up. But that's another story, and one I'd love to make as the 100th anniversary gets closer."
While the 100th anniversary of the Battle of Gallipoli is an important milestone, let's not forget that the eleventy-billionth anniversary of the Battle of the Pelennor Fields is also approaching. Allowing The Hobbit to languish in legal limbo spits on the memory of all those who gave their lives fighting Sauron and his evil minions. Shame on you, Peter Jackson. (Empire Online)
Good news for people who dislike Jews, homosexuals, acclaimed British actors, and magnets. Bad news for the rest of us. X-Men Origins: Magneto probably ain't gonna happen.
During an interview with Crave Online, Producer Lauren Shuler Donner confirmed that hope for a freestanding Magneto film is all but gone, and that the origin story of the character will be folded into Bryan Singer's X-Men: First Class.
"You know, there’s internal discussions but probably not. It kind of got incorporated into (X-Men: First Class), a lot of it.”
While the fact that Magneto's origin will be covered by First Class might appease some, Ian McKellen fans are, as /Film put it, "shit out of luck."
Best employee training video ever. I'm getting out of the blogging game and applying to Wendys. (VideoGum)
These links will really get you going!
Movies That Would Have Been Ruined By Facebook (Moviefone)
Alphabet City Hipster Owes IRS $172 Million (Asylum)
20 Most Outrageous Coco Austin Booty Pics (Ranker)
12 Ridiculous Facebook Pages (HolyTaco)
Werner Herzog Hates Chickens, Loves Hummingbirds (FilmDrunk)
12 Greatest Heist Movies (Maxim)
Crazy NYC Guy Fights With A Bicycle And Gets Thrown In Jail (BarStoolSports)
7 Celebrities That Really Should Commit Suicide (EgoTV)
Which 1994 Film Has The Biggest Legacy (Pajiba)
Chewie And Han: The Early Years (Unreality)
Bodybulider Flips Out And Attacks Judge (TotalProSports)
17 Broken Neon Signs (Smosh)
Top 10 Reasons Why Pledging Sucks (BroBible)
Vanessa Hudgens Bikini Exhibitionist Pics (CelebJihad)
Gabe Ruediger–The Return Of Godzilla (CagePotato)
Eric Roberts On Going Up Against His Sister Julia At The Box Office (PopEater)
Sake For Your Skin (MadeMen)
You and I both are going to hell.
Marvel Studios has given the green light to an adaptation of the "Iron Fist" comic series, and has hired Rich Wilkes to write the script, Deadline is reporting. Wilkes is best known for penning the script to XXX, which went on to make Vin Diesel a household name in households that like to talk about stupid crap. The move seems to indicate that Disney is following through on its promise to develop more obscure characters from the Marvel library.
The Iron Fist character was created in the 1970s during the height of the martial arts film craze. And as you'd expect from the name, this character received his special powers by plunging his clenched hand into a foreign body. But unlike most fisters, the body belonged to a dragon, not a strung-out wannabe actress from Cincinnati.
And the winner is…
"I feel like we have something in common because we're both blind."
The winner will receive a 3-month subscription from Netflix!
Thanks to everyone who entered. You guys rocked Twitter with your captions.
City Island is available on Blu Ray and DVD today.
Michael Bay is calling bullsh*t on all of the following: TMZ reported yesterday that two men claimed they "got into a scuffle with a man they claim is Bay's private security guard" on August 24, 2008. (Yes, that's two years ago and they're just having a problem with it now) They were tossed out of a nightclub, at which time Bay's drunk security guard pistol whipped the living crap out of them, breaking teeth and bones, before fleeing the scene. Bay took time out from his busy kabooming schedule on Transformers 3 to set the record straight on his website. Check out Bay's response after the jump…
According to my super-secret source within Paramount Pictures (by that I mean The Wrap), director Brad Bird and Tom Cruise are about to begin casting for the role of Ethan Hunt's protégé in Mission: Impossible 4. While nothing is definite, Keven Zegers, Christopher Egan and Anthony Mackie are all vying for the part, although they may be in the running for other roles, as well.
After the failure of Cruise's last film, Knight and Day, Paramount was anxious to hedge its bets by bringing in another prominent actor to help draw an audience. By that logic, I really don't see why the studio passed over Tyler Perry. Diary of a Mad Black Warlord or I Can Do Baghdad All My Myself would have killed, and no one would have cared about the bad acting or cheesy plot. (/Film)