We're a step closer to seeing a 270-ft Helena Bonham Carter stomping her way through downtown Tokyo. Tim Burton is reportedly going kaiju with the news that he's being brought in as a "creative catalyst" for a movie based on the nerdy board game Monsterpocalypse. The game, for those of you who have touched boobs, features giant monster figurines that fight in a heavily-populated metropolis.I'm not sure how a creative catalyst works. Do they all just hang out and being around him somehow gets their juices going? Do they have to lick him like a hallucinogenic toad? I bet he tastes like candy corn. (Deadline)
Welcome to your hangover. The Adjustment Bureau is bringing Philip K. Dick back to the big screen, and in more of a Blade Runner way than a Paycheck way. Matt Damon plays an ambitious politician on the brink of winning a U.S. Senate seat when he meets ballet dancer Emily Blunt. Then sh*t gets unreal. Just as he's realizing he's falling for her, mysterious men conspire to keep the two apart. The motley crew known as The Adjustment Bureau is led by Roger Sterling of "Mad Men," and it's my asumption that when they're not determining people's fates they're aligning spines in their unstuffy chiropractic practice. It's the place right by the Baskin Robbins. Park on Oak though, there are never any spots on Main. Check out the trailer after the jump. The Adjustment Bureau has orchestrated its release for September 17, 2010.
After starring in The Lookout with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Laura Vandervoort landed the coveted role of Supergirl on "Smallville." She now stars in "V" and is currently praying it doesn't get cancelled. A word from Laura: "Hollywood is something imagined."Actually it's not. I drove through it the other day. It's something littered with graffiti, Carl's Jr. wrappers, and charismatic bums. Check out more pics of Supergirl after the jump.
And the winners are…"How deep do you think I can get it before he wakes up?""How could we have dropped garlic into his body during the operation?""They told me we would be dissecting FROGS in this class…""Could be worse. You could be at the end of a human centipede.""I've never seen a hairlip like this before."The winners will receive Daybreakers on their choice of either Blu Ray or DVD.Thanks to everyone who posted on the Screen Junkies Facebook wall. You guys came up with some great/sick stuff. We're concerned about most of your mental conditions.Daybreakers is available on Blu Ray and DVD today.
Doesn't the above image make you want to watch a porno? Apparently the Batman XXX Porno Parody succeeds by frightening the arousal into you. I bet you like that, don't you, sicko? We've seen adult entertainment parodies of The Big Lebowski, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," and "Dexter," and out of all of them I'd say Batman is at the bottom of my list of porns I have a mild curiosity in stealing from my dad. The "film" is directed by Alex Braun and distributed by Vivid. Take a gander at the second trailer for the Batman Porn Parody below. **Spinning dildo flies at screen, transitioning us to the next scene**
Swallow your peas, Dolph! This one's for all the fellas out there that love bulging muscles up in their grill. Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren will once again reignite their centuries old rivalry for Universal Soldier 4: 3D. John Hyams, who directed the previous film in the series, will return to show these guys which angles to punch one another at are best for camera.I would assume the project would go straight to DVD, but if that's the case why spend the money on 3D? Are they going to inflate DVD costs next? Or tax our eyeballs when this inevitably ends up on Spike TV?? Well, we won't stand for that. ATTICA! ATTICA!!! (Deadline)
Timothy Olyphant ("Justified," The Crazies, "Deadwood") has hopped on I Am Number Four after Sharlto Copley had to drop out to promote The A-Team. Which makes sense. You don't want to leave "Rampage" Jackson alone in a room full of reporters.Olyphant will be stepping into the role of "guardian and mentor" to Alex Pettyfer's alien refugee Number Four. I see no mention of this guardian being a kick-ass Southern lawman, but the casting of Timothy Olyphant would suggest that's the case. Must be a typo. (Variety)
When I heard that Jennifer Aniston had signed on to star in Horrible Bosses, I assumed that the film was going to be a real hunk of crap. But when I heard that Charlie Day from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" is in talks to sign on, I was forced to reconsider. Throw Jason Bateman into the mix, and this film about three friends who plot to kill their bosses seems a lot more interesting. Jason Bateman will play a man who believes his hard work will be rewarded but when he gets passed over for a promotion, he hits rock bottom. Charlie Day plays a hapless guy, always in the wrong place at the wrong time. A part still to be cast is a ladies’ man who is good at his job, but gets a rude awakening when his boss passes away and gets replaced. Word on "the street" is that Colin Farrell will be playing said ladies' man. I guess "the street" must read Collider.
I don't want to beat a dead horse by making a "beating an undead horse" joke about Geroge Romero, but Jesus H. Christ! He's making it very hard not to.Although Romero's sixth zombie film, Survival of the Dead, hasn't even hit theaters yet, the legendary director is already talking about two more installments.In a recent interview, Romero said he would like to shoot the films back to back and that "returning for two more entries would feel like home to him."I'd like to point out that to experience something that "feels like home" you would actually have to leave home first. But at any rate, shooting the films back to back is probably a good idea, considering Romero is 70. If this goes on much longer, the undead films are going to need an undead director…because he'll be dead. Get it? Yeah you do. (First Showing)
Shocking news! Jennifer Aniston has decided to break the mold and step out of her comfort zone by taking on a role in a romantic comedy. Wanderlust, which was acquired by Universal Pictures, will be produced by Judd Apatow and will costar Apatow regular Paul Rudd. Aniston and Rudd will play a married couple trying to escape the trappings of the city life for a counterculture existence. Sounds amazing! As if one groundbreaking role wasn't enough, Aniston has also signed on to star in New Line Cinema's Horrible Bosses, which is no doubt a dark psychological thriller. Either that, or another sh*tty comedy. (Deadline)
Quaid's woes are set to music in this rendition of Total Recall that surprisingly makes the film less weird. Though I can't imagine Paul Verhoeven being okay with this version. There aren't a pair of bare breasts in sight. (JonandAl)Cohaagen, give these people some links!Star Summer Comebacks (Moviefone)Is Miss USA Too Sexy? (Asylum)Six-Grade Gaga-Bieber Hybrid (PopEater)25 Sexy Hockey Fans (HolyTaco)Seacrest Wannabe Caught Plagiarizing (FilmDrunk)The Healing Power of Coke and Soft Pretzels (Unreality)15 Hot Volleyball Chicks (TotalProSports)6 Best and Worst Captains of All Time (Maxim)The Reem? (CagePotato)Lady Gaga Shows Off His Lady Bits (CelebJihad)25 Items Made of Legos (Smosh)5 Best Robert Downey Jr. Roles (Pajiba)Pube Rap (Atom)Drambuie Pursuit Scottish Adventure Race (MadeMan)NASCAR Hall of Fame Open for Business (AllLeftTurns)How You Feel After Fapping (RegretfulMorning)
With Jamaroqui Jabar Abrams's Super 8 opening in theaters in little over 365 days from now, we're given precious time to pour over every small piece of marketing material obsessively. Let's get on that people! **dons jeweler's loupe** Our first clue comes to us in the form of the above picture, lifted from the newly-released high quality teaser. Just before the film's title appears, you can see the quick flash of a mysterious child's face. Much like in Three Men and a Baby or the rear window of Roman Polanski's van as it speeds away. Dissect this HD bitch after the jump…
The decision to split Twilight: Breaking Dawn into two movies is causing some money woes for Summit Entertainment. Or for the supporting cast, depending on your perspective. Professional erection and herection causers, Ashley Greene and Kellen Lutz are looking for bigger paydays now that their careers are beginnng to break out. They're all like, "F*ck you! Pay me!!" And Summit's all like, "No. YOU, f*ck you!!" Or something along those lines:"We may have a situation where one of them is thrown out on the street to make a point," says a source close to the dealmaking. There is precedent. After the success of the first film, Summit axed Rachelle Lefevre, who played Victoria, in part because her reps played hardball on money. (Bryce Dallas Howard got the job instead.) But sources say the offers from Summit — which are said to be at least 10 times what the actors made on the first movie — were deemed "offensive" given the mega-money the franchise has generated.This is a tough call. One the one hand, yeah f*ck those guys. But on the other, they DO have abdominal muscles and I'm pretty sure that's what matters nowadays. That's why the American Gladiators are so well off and most artists die penniless. Honestly though, just replace him with Paul Walker. Same diff. (Yahoo)
Michael Bay has confirmed on his message board that The Twins, Mudflap and Skids, from Revenge of the Fallen will not be perpetuating racial stereotypes in Transformers 3. In Hollywood that's what we call getting Jar Jar Binx'ed. It's Bay's goal to make the next Transformers installment relatively inoffensive, but take this with a grain of salt as Tyrese and Josh Duhamel still have scenes opposite one another. There's no telling what's next for The Twins. They've got all the right skillz for a dance flick or a rap career, they just need someone to take a chance on them. My instincts say they'll be relegated to the scrap pile though like so many other influential characters of the past.I'm still eagerly awaiting the next Max Headroom project that I fear may never come. (IESB)
Léa Seydoux is the granddaughter of Jérôme Seydoux, Chairman of Pathé, and the grandniece of Nicolas Seydoux, Chairman and CEO of Gaumont. Looks like we know how SOMEONE got their foot in the door… That's right, by looking hot. A word from Lea: "Something French."I LOVE crepes! More pics of Madamoiselle Seydoux after the jump.
After several poisonous box office outings, Colin Farrell's project-picking finger could smell like sweet success for a change. Between his turn in Crazy Heart and Golden Globe win for In Bruges, he's found his way back onto marquees. And the needless remake train as well.Farrell has signed on to bite women in Craig Gillespie's Fright Night as the new vampire in town, opposite Anton Yelchin and Toni Collette. After that, he'll appear with computer lover Paul Rudd in the comedy Horrible Bosses directed by Seth Gordon. He dropped out of two other projects in order to free up his schedule for these parts – one a Katherine Heigl bounty hunter movie and the other a rom-com directed by McG. Smart move. Talk about horrible bosses… (Deadline)
When an actor knocks their first role out of the park, they then have a lot to live up to. They usually start getting loads of offers to star in other films and with that comes piles ‘o cash. What I’ve been noticing is that some of these actors just start punching the time clock and go to sleep on the job. For like, decades, even. Here are 10 actors who have phoned in their roles for the better part of their career. And some are still doing it.SYLVESTER STALLONE
If you print this out and tape it to your t-shirt, you will get so laid.Pete Travis is ready to fill the 3D Judge Dredd-shaped hole in our lives. Deadline reports that the Vantage Point director has signed on with DNA Films to bring Judge Joe Dredd back to the big screen, and they'll be looking to secure distribution at Cannes.This is good news for two reasons. A) It can't be worse than the confusing mish-mash that was Sylvester Stallone's version. 2) There's no studio involved to muck up the story. There's no word how faithful the film will stay to the comic series but Alex Garland (Sunshine) is attached to script. I'd like to see a scene where Dredd has his own syndicated courtroom show, and punishes deadbeat roommates to the harshest extremes of the law. Please get on this "Robot Chicken." If you haven't already.
Earlier this year, fans of the original Hobo with a Shotgun trailer wept with joy as production began on a full-length feature starring Rutger Hauer as the titular hobo. Although the film owes its increased popularity to online buzz, the internet is a fickle mistress. With thriving online communities such as Sierra Online and Prodigy and a never-ending supply of cat videos, your typical web surfer has the attention span of a Prodigy subscriber watching cat videos. But the people behind Hobo with a Shotgun understand these shifting web dynamics. As such, they're constantly creating new content to keep our interests piqued. That's why they've released two new teaser videos for fans to enjoy. Truth be told, neither one of these videos make me that excited, but it's way too early to start bitching. Besides, as long as the movie has both a hobo and a shotgun (not necessarily in that order) I'll be going to see it. (DreadCentral) Check out the two new Hobo with a Shotgun videos after the jump.
Back in 1940, all it took to turn a Frenchman into a Nazi was a few dozen Panzers and the promise of an adequate wine ration. In 2010, all it takes to turn a Nazi into a Frenchman is a few million dollars and director Paul W.S. Anderson.Christoph Waltz, who won an Oscar for his portrayal of Colonel Hans Landa (a.k.a. The Jew Hunter) in Inglourious Basterds, has signed on to play Cardinal Richelieu in the upcoming Three Musketeers film. Waltz joins a heavily European cast including Mads Mikkelsen and Milla Jovovich.According to FirstShowing.net, the film will be presented in 3-D. Anderson's version of the classic tale is also "going for a contemporary feel without moving the story from the traditional period setting." I'm assuming that means that the characters will say words like "s**t" and "sexting" while still wearing pantaloons.
These days it seems like every celebrity in Hollywood is trying make a name for themselves via charity. If they're not sending money to Haiti, they're adopting African AIDS babies. Steven Seagal went as far as to bring two Russian girls to the US, and even paid for their room and board once they got here. All these good deeds are enough to make you sick. That's why it's nice to see an actor like Anthony Hopkins who is so down to earth. Despite all the fame and fortune, the Oscar winner still enjoys terrorizing the homeless, just like us regular folk. Back in 2002, when Hopkins was trying to fight his alcoholism, he decided to go and volunteer at a Midnight Mission in Los Angeles. After all, nothing takes your mind off the sauce like hanging out on skid row with a bunch of winos. According to the mission's director, Clancy Imislund, Hopkins really enjoyed scaring the bejesus out of the homeless. It's funny. We have film nights here and one time we showed Silence of the Lambs. So as a surprise I asked Tony to come down and tap a few people on the shoulder at the end and say 'Hello' in that voice he does. You should have seen their faces. They were like, 'Arrggh!' He got a real kick out of that. I bet this little prank was especially popular with some of the schizophrenics in attendance. Normally when they talk to characters from a movie, no one else can see them. But thanks to Hopkins and his rapier wit, now they know that they aren't crazy afterall, and neither are their plans to start mutilating house pets. Kudos to you, Sir Anthony! (CinemaBlend)
Someone put together all of Quentin Tarantino's trunk shots. Okay, the Inglourious Basterds one isn't from a trunk, but that's because they didn't have cars in the '40s. No, you brush up on YOUR history. (BuzzFeed)Get down real low to enjoy these links.Trailer for Adam Sandler's 'Grown-Ups' (Break)Six Sexy Cartoon MILFs (TVSquad)Are Booty Beanbags Porn? (Asylum)E*Trade Slams Lindsay Lohan (PopEater)25 Old People Being Awesome (HolyTaco)MPAA Going Big Brother All Over Your Ass (FilmDrunk)Awesome Star Fox 64 Promo Video (Unreality)Pats Cheerleaders Get Frisky (TotalProSports)2010 Hot 100 (Maxim)Santos vs. Nelson Likely for UFC 117 (CagePotato)Lawrence Taylor's Alleged Victim (CelebJihad)17 Hysterical Singles Ads (Smosh)Five Gayest Straight Actors in Hollywood (Pajiba)Sneak Peak at LOST Finale (Atom)20 Twitter Pick-Up Lines (MadeMan)25 Awesome NASCAR Products (AllLeftTurns)
Today we have further assurance that every comedy will eventually look and sound the same as Deadline reports that funnymen of note, Aziz Ansari and Danny McBride, are teaming up for another "laffer." Mandate Pictures bought the rights, based on a pitch by Ansari and "30 Rock" writer Matt Hubbard. McBride's Rough House will produce, with "Parks and Recreation" writer Harris Wittels handling the script. No details are known about the rib-tickler as of yet but with both Ansari and McBride on board, you can bet it will be a yuckfest. A real orgy of giggles.The knee-slapper isn't expected to go before cameras until the duo wrap their upcoming guffawcalypse, 30 Minutes Or Less. If my gut ain't lying, (and she never does) this is gonna be one uproarious talkie.
Here's a shot of Jason Momoa being man-handled by the wardrobe department in the new Conan flick. "Make the leather peck-strap tighter!" director Marcus Nispel proclaims off-screen. How does it look now, Mr. Nispel?Marcus Nispel evaluates peck-strap tightness. "Tighter!"The man loves restrictive accessories. Check out more pics after the jump, including what I can only imagine is a grip in Nispel's timeout cage.
Is that lumpy weirdo wandering around the set of Green Lantern actually Peter Sarsgaard in his Hector Hammond makeup? I certainly hope so. Otherwise, it means that years of nepotistic hiring practices within the carpenters union have finally resulted in inbreeding.If the film is faithful to the comic, Sargaard's brain will stretch and grow when exposed to radiaton from a mysterious meteorite. The side effects grant him high intelligence, psionic abilities, and immortality (large, distracting hat sold separately.).Whether this is Sarsgaard or not, we need to kill this thing with fire just to be safe. If it's skilled with a hammer, we're all dead already. We just don't know it yet. (Gordon and the Whale)
Paula Patton plays the victim in Denzel Washington’s murder case in the film Déjà Vu. But she’s also not the victim because she’s still alive. Listen, I don’t have time to explain the whole space-time continuum thing right now. Go read Stephen Hawking after you ogle Paula.A word from Paula: "Well you always joke. There’s that countdown to the sex scene. Like, 'Okay, five days until sex scene. No more carbs."I totally agree. Okay, one hour until sex scene. Finish your burrito.Check out more pics of carb-less Paula after the jump.
Daybreakers is available on Blu Ray and DVD tomorrow, and Screen Junkies is giving away 5 copies! In the film, Ethan Hawke plays a vampire scientist working on a substitute for human blood before the last drop is drained from the remaining humans. Sam Neill has glowing amber eyes and Willem Dafoe wields a crossbow. What more do you want?!All you have to do is post on the SJ Facebook fan page the funniest caption you can muster to accompany the still frame above.If you're not already awesome and a fan of Screen Junkies on Facebook then become one, post a caption, and you'll be entered to win. Click HERE to be whisked away to our Facebook page.Contest ends Wednesday at midnight and the winner will be announced via Facebook, Twitter and on the site.You can enter as many times as you like. Captions smeared in blood won't be accepted. Use your keyboards, people.
"Saturday Night Live" is officially a hit again thanks to Betty White and her whore mouth. The Facebook-supported, hood-approved actress officially rocked it and helped the show score its highest ratings since a pre-election November 2008 episode.Many of the episode's sketches coasted by on the "Grandma says naughty words" schtick of which White is clearly a master. In fact, her muffin sketch is all anyone is talking about today as cubicles everywhere tune into "SNL" via Hulu. I hope I don't get caught by the boss but whatever. It wouldn't be the first time I was fired because of an old woman's vagina. (Reuters)
Andy Rooney went on "60 Minutes" last night and basically explained that he’s old as he decomposed in front of us. He doesn’t understand your Lady Gagas and your Ushers….
"Those mozzarella sticks had better be piping hot when they finally get here, or I'll pitch a real bitch-fit."In order to keep a tight lid on the secret series finale, "Lost" producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse filmed four endings for the puzzling series. Viewers who can't wait for the DVD bonus features, won't have to wait long to see them. In fact, they'll be shown about a half an hour after the credits roll and everyone has had sufficient time to shout, "Aww, what the fuh?!!!"The brass-balled Jimmy Kimmel will air the alternate endings exclusively on his "Jimmy Kimmel Live: Aloha to Lost" after the super-sized episode, with the "Lost" cast joining him in-studio. No need to stay up so late though. I've actually been tipped off to the alternate conclusions. They play out as follows:The first alternate ending has Jack returning to the mainland to find that a statue of Ben now sits in the Lincoln Memorial.Much like "The Sopranos," "Lost" will also end with a song by Journey. In this instance, "Anyway You Want It" blasts over the victory party scene after Lapidus exclaims, "We're all gonna get laid!!!"Finally, it comes to light that Hurley did actually fart that time in the van with Miles and the corpse. With a man his size eating all that undercooked boar's meat, it just makes sense that a few would slip out from time to time.(/Film)