News - Page 271

Conan is Taking His Show on the Road
Friday, February 19 by

Conan O'Brien keeps finding ways to outfox NBC. Since refusing the network's attempt to eff him over, he went on to rip them a new one night in and night out on his ill-fated Tonight Show. Then he walked away with $44 million dollars of what can only be described as "F*ck You" money. A clause in the contract precludes him from returning to television screens until September of 2010 but the show must go on. There's news today that he's kicking around the idea of doing live shows across the country. Of course, he has all that aforementioned "F*ck You" money so why would he care about a few concert dates? Well, it would capitalize nicely with all the people who were suddenly with Coco, and that would help him secure a deal with another network. There's no word on what elements from his NBC shows he would bring along with him, if any at all. It would be great to see him do a few of his crazier bits and really let loose. I just hope that he doesn't break out his guitar. Oh crap. He's totally going to break out his guitar, isn't he? (Page Six)

Jay Baruchel Blows His Wad in ‘She’s Out of My League’ Red-Band Clip
Friday, February 19 by

What a punum on this one. The vein in the forehead really sells it for me. In this red-band clip from She's Out of My League, Jay Baruchel tries to hold it in for Alice Eve, but, understandably, fails. I WISH I had the opportunity to destroy a pair of Dockers due to Alice-Eve-friction on my sensitive areas. She wouldn't even have to touch. A simple glance would send me twitching and flopping to the ground. Oh pretty ladies, how they make standing in line at Subway such a chore. Tell us your birthday to check out the red-band clip here, and try to control yourself.

Jay Leno’s Grandiose Delusions Continue in New Promo
Friday, February 19 by

NBC premiered the first promo for Jay Leno's return to The Tonight Show during last night's Olympics broadcast. The results were not so good. Actually it's not entirely fair to call this a new promo. It's literally the same footage he used for his The Jay Leno Show promo with the Beatle's "Get Back" over-dubbed. Talk about polishing a turd. Get back to where you once belonged? I'll tell you where you can get back to, Leno. You can get back to, um, elsewhere. (Burned him.) Of course, Kevin Eubanks won't come along for the ride but for now we can seek solace in knowing that someone out there will ask the hard-hitting questions. Like, "Hey Vince Vaughn. What is your favorite sandwich?" For the record, the answer is all of them. Vince likes all the sandwiches.

‘The Good Guy’ Actress Kate Nauta
Friday, February 19 by

Kate Nauta stars in The Good Guy this Friday, but you may better recognize her as the machine gun-wielding killer in the very impractical outfit from Transporter 2. Pink, lingerie, stilettos, and gobs of black eyeliner to blow someone's head off? Then again she might be using the sight of dewy side-boob to stun her victims. A word from Kate: "I never met a beer I couldn't handle."Beer's a little easy. Having never met a bottle of whisky you couldn't handle would be more impressive. Let's go out and you can impress me until your better judgement has dissolved. You can't handle the pics after the jump.

William Shatner is Dad in ‘Shit My Dad Says’
Friday, February 19 by

Sh*t My Dad Says is officially going to pilot at CBS with William Shatner in place as the crosspatch dad. The addition of the star/inexplicable-mountain climber with his complete awesomeness forced CBS to greenlight the multi-camera comedy.Written by Justin Halpern and former Screen Junkies editor Patrick Schumacker, the show tells the story of a young man who returns to the nest and the profane advice of his father. Shatner is a perfect fit. Just imagine him saying, "Don't mess with him…Trust me, you don't f*ck with a man that sleeps next to a woman he never screws. They're unpredictable." Actually, you could tell me that originally came from Shatner's Twitter and I would believe you.

New ‘Kick-Ass’ Red Band Trailer
Friday, February 19 by

Those tissues aren't for the tears. The new red band trailer for Kick-Ass tackles a subject very near and dear to all teenagers. The protagonist's dedication to making regular spank bank donations leads him to a higher calling: kicking ass without the help of super powers. I thought I'd be sick of more Kick-Ass footage, but the new trailer succeeds in its attempt to get me even more amped up. I'm thinking of stretching a pair of my neighbor's pantyhose over my head and putting an end to crime. I'll then be arrested for breaking into my neighbor's house and stealing her pantyhose, a charge I'll vehemently defend as a necessary evil.  Check out the trailer below.

Good News For Sony’s ‘Spider-Man’ Reboot
Friday, February 19 by

There's been a few new developments with the Spider-Man reboot that may have a positive effect on the unnecessary reboot. We already know that director Marc Webb recently met with James "Piss in the Soup" Cameron, but now there's word that he's met with another heavy hitter. Comics demi-god Brian Michael Bendis tweeted yesterday that he and the filmmakers had a meeting at Sony. He went on to comment, "very, very cool stuff!!"Bendis should know what is and isn't cool in the world of superheroics. He's written many of the best comics out there, including Ultimate Spider-Man, and has won five Eisner Awards. There's no word if Bendis will re-write the script or consult with story changes but the fact that they even met is a step in the right direction. My nerd boner is 19% chubby as of right now. But it could be easily deflated depending on what little f*cktard nabs the role of Peter Parker. (Bendis Twitter)

People Are Crazy: Post-Rapture Kennel Care
Thursday, February 18 by

Don't worry, when there's no more heathens these saved survivors will take care of your pets. I just hope it's a single animal to a cage. Fraternizing gives my dog the runs. (Videogum)These links guarantee access to heaven. Hollywood's 10 Most Eeeeevil Actors (Moviefone)Traveling at Light Speed Will Kill You (Asylum)Epic Beard Man's Doodles (HolyTaco)Kevin Smith Won't Shut Up About Southwest (FilmDrunk)Shaq Turned Down by Shakira (TotalProSports)Most Random Superwoman Picture Ever (Unreality)Interview: Ben Rothwell Talks Cro Cop (CagePotato)California NASCAR Babes (Maxim)Justin Bieber Torments 3 Year Old Girl (CelebJihad)The Best Snow Movies (Pajiba)It's Really Hard to Tell a Girl You Love Her (Atom)How to Decode a Restaurant Menu (MadeMan)Auto Club 500 Odds (AllLeftTurns)

Michael Douglas is Clearly the Devil in International ‘Wall Street 2′ Trailer
Thursday, February 18 by

Today we get a second look at Oliver Stone's Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps via the international trailer. Even though we didn't ask for it. Thanks, I guess. This time around we learn a bit more about the plot. Michael Douglas is out of jail and lecturing a new generation about how to rob people blind. Shia LaBeouf stars as his idealistic ward who incidentally plans to marry his estranged son daughter. A bunch of cliché stuff happens and there are motorcylces and the Rolling Stones. Then Shia must choose between millions of dollars and dating a girl who looks like Justin Bieber. The End. Hey, remember 9/11? Seriously, what's up with Carey's hair? Try to figure it out after the jump…

James Cameron: Someone Pissed in My ‘Terminator’ Soup
Thursday, February 18 by

The rights to The Terminator franchise have been something of a hot potato lately. Not the kind with rich, buttery goodness inside rather the kind with boring, underwhelming stories inside. MTV caught up with James Cameron yesterday to discuss the state of the series he created and whether or not he would return for a sequel. Now Cameron is a well-spring of awesome quotes and yesterday was no exception. From the HMFIC: "From my perspective, it's run its course… the soup's kind of been pissed in a little bit by other filmmakers, so I don't have any personal desire to go back to it." Well said, you loveable curmudgeon. Now please publish a phrasebook. Stay tuned for more Terminator news and whether or not more McG whizz bisque will ever grace the silverscreen. (MTV)

‘The Vampire Diaries’ Actress Candice Accola
Thursday, February 18 by

Candice Accola is best known for her role as Caroline Forbes in The Vampire Diaries. If you don't watch that show, she's best known as the hot girl you'd like to see more of. Preferably standing next to, or french kissing, her co-star Nina Dobrev.  A word from Candice: "We hang at my aunt and uncle's house. We've been geeking out and making girly collages and cooking dinners and barbequing."All I read was, "Pillow fighting. Giggling. Pillow fighting. Barbeque." How are you going to get that rib sauce out of those white sheets?More pics of the hot girl you want to see more of after the jump. 

Carla Gugino Fills Salma Hayek’s Hole in ‘Faster’
Thursday, February 18 by

I'm only writing this up because I wanted to search for pictures of Salma Hayek and Carla Gugino. Let's just take a moment to look at the above side-by-side.Don't rush me!Alright. Gugino is replacing Hayek in the role she bailed on back in January in the revenge thriller Faster. Dwayne "I'm Still Calling Him The Rock" Johnson plays an ex-con on a mission to avenge his brother's murder. A DEADLY mission. Conflict abound! Gugino will play the detective hot on his trail, looking to pin a decade-old case on the people's eyebrow. Hopefully The Rock will pin Carla to a decade-old headboard. Right before they do it sexually on a slightly vintage bedframe. Musty smells turn me on. (Variety)

Joss Whedon and Morgan Spurlock Combine Nerd Powers for Comic-Con Documentary
Thursday, February 18 by

Joss Whedon is looking for a few big nerds. The Buffy/Dollhouse/Dr. Horrible creator is currently searching for three fanboys or fangirls for an upcoming documentary about San Diego Comic-Con and nerd culture. He and Super-Size Me director/star Morgan Spurlock want to follow their subjects around for the three months leading up to this year's convention. Why they want three months worth of masturbating to anime footage is well beyond me.Filming is sure to be hectic on convention day when the crew loses Whedon due to his instantaneous blending in with the crowd. He's like a nerd chameleon. In all earnestness, this seems like a unique look at a growing counter-culture. I am a little bummed though that Spurlock will not be upping the ante of his previous works by remaining a virgin and living in his parent's basement for 30 years. (E!)

Jeremy Renner Considers Flushing Oscar Cred Down Toilet with ‘Battleship’
Thursday, February 18 by

Jeremy Renner is undoubtedly on many a casting wishlist thanks to his Oscar-nominated performance in The Hurt Locker. But that doesn't mean you have to take every role Jeremy.The actor has confirmed he will take a role in James McTiegue's The Raven, a movie that centers on the final days of Edgar Allan Poe as he hunts for a serial killer inspired by his stories. I don't remember that from high school English. Appears that Ms. Fitzgerald was asleep at the wheel.But the really distressing news is that he's considering the lead role in Peter Berg's Milton Bradley-adaptation Battleship. He's interested in the role but needs to decide if he would rather take a super-secret role for which he's had five meetings. Trust me, Jeremy. Whatever the other role is, you want to take it over board game sailors fighting aliens. Don't throw away your Oscar goodwill before you even win it. And make sure to use hand sanitizer after contact with Mickey Rourke. It's the only way to prevent the spread of career suicide. (NY Times)

Old School CSI: Miami
Wednesday, February 17 by

Never has CSI made me feel so cultured. VERILYYYYYY!!!!!Hereth be your linkeths.  Where Do Oscar Winners Keep Their Oscars? (Moviefone)Top 10 Snowboarding Wipeout Videos (Asylum)25 Animals With Glasses (HolyTaco)More Fun With Avatard Forums (FilmDrunk)The Bacon Lombardi Trophy (TotalProSports)This Airline LOVES The Simpsons (Unreality)Video: Countdown to UFC 110 (CagePotato)The Bruce Willis Justice League (Maxim)Lady Gaga Definitely Doesn't Have a Penis (CelebJihad)Best/Worst Movies with ?s in Their Titles (Pajiba)Have You Ever Had a Really Good Friend? (Atom)8 Alternative Uses for Beer (MadeMan)Dale Earnhardt Jr. Contest (AllLeftTurns)

Hugh Jackman Does ‘Avon Man’ For the Ladies
Wednesday, February 17 by

"Lucy, you can no play in da show tonight."Hugh Jackman has proven himself once again the manliest man who ever manned by signing on for the comedy Avon Man. The movie tells the tale of an out-of-work car salesman who begrudgingly accepts work as an Avon rep. He finds it emasculating at first but takes a shine to it when he discovers that shimmers really highlight his cheekbones. That and he charms women to buy his assorted creams and paints.The film will begin shooting in April with Enchanted's Kevin Lima behind the camera. No word yet who will be behind Jackman. (**rimshot! gets glared at by effeminent barista**) (Coming Soon)

Farrelly Brothers Cast Amanda Bynes in ‘Hall Pass’
Wednesday, February 17 by

We've reported previously about the Farrelly Brothers upcoming Hall Pass. It's the comedy that stars Owen Wilson as a man given a pass by his wife, Jenna Fischer,  to pursue extra-marital ass-tappings for one week. Now there's word that child actor turned tappable-ass Amanda Bynes has joined the cast. Possibly as a young ass that will be granted tapping amnesty.That could be good but I've got an axe to grind with Bynes. She's one of those girls (Kaley Cuoco is another offender) who made goofy faces during their recent Maxim shoots. It's confusing for the penis. I hope she doesn't do that in bed. Like, all of a sudden she's winking at you while you're in the throws. She's definitely on my list and had better clean her act up if she wants to be on my other list. (Variety)

‘Shutter Island’ Actress Emily Mortimer
Wednesday, February 17 by

Emily Mortimer pops up in a film every once in awhile and I'm quite sure you say to yourself, "Oh it's that lovely lady," but maybe a naughtier version. She's fantastic in Match Point, and if it wasn't for Scarlett Johansson, she'd be the hottest actress in that movie.A word from Emily: "…acting was something I pretended I didn't want to do as I was growing up."We all try to convince ourselves we shouldn't invest in shameful, egotistical professions like acting. Or blogging. You can't deny the camera loves Emily in the pics after the jump.

Apatow, Feig Trying On Wiig
Wednesday, February 17 by

Freaks and Geeks producers Judd Apatow and Paul Feig are finally joining forces again to grant Kristen Wiig her first starring role in a feature film. Feig will direct, Apatow will produce, and Wiig will almost certainly act awkward. Universal Pictures is keeping the logline under wraps, those sneaky devils, but it is described as revolving around women competing to plan a friend's wedding party.Really? Are we going to do THAT movie again? Weddings, competitions, and cake icing in various cracks has been up on the silver screen more than Sharon Stone's whispering eye. I, like everyone else in the all the land, was a big fan of Freeks and Geeks, so I have faith that Apatow and Feig will bring a much needed not-eye-gaugingly-painful spin to the trite concept. Then again, we could just be looking at another Bride Wars with Wiig making digs under her breath and pulling something sexual/dead out of her pocket at the most inappropriate moment. (Variety)

Kevin Eubanks Is Out This Bitch
Wednesday, February 17 by

"If you come on my show, I'll pay you twice what Conan did to masturbate half as much."The most recent Late Night Wars have taken another casualty. Kevin Eubanks, The Tonight Show's snickering sweater-enthusiast and band leader, is reportedly leaving the show after the March 1st debut of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: The Squeakquel. According to Extra, Kevin "wanted a change" which is Hollywood-speak for "f*ck this sh*t." There's no word yet on what other opportunities Eubanks plans to pursue or how Leno will move forward without his only fan. Hootie and the Blowfish's Hootie Darius Rucker is rumored to be replacing. He'd better work on his Hibbert. Good move Jay. Now how are we supposed to know when you've told a joke? (Extra)

Road to Oscar: Best Actor Showdown
Wednesday, February 17 by

Last week we threw our Best Actress contenders into the Thunderdome where they battled with claw hammers and whaling harpoons for the honor of taking home a Shiny Gold Dude. …

‘Erector Set’ to Build Film Franchise
Wednesday, February 17 by

The days of making toys based off popular films are in the distant past due to the success of Transformers and GI Joe. Currently we have movies in production based upon Legos, Stretch Armstrong, View-Master, Battleship, Candyland, Barbie, Risk, Max Steele, Monopoly, and Bazooka Joe inexplicably. Feel free to lump another hastily decided upon toy-to-film adaptation onto that pile as it was announced that old timey plaything Erector Set will now be given the big screen treatment. Is it in 3D, you ask? Of course it is and I chide you for asking. As punishment, you have to buy stock in this movie. An independent film company has teamed up with Meccano Toy Company to build a franchise out of the antiquated toy. No plot details have been released because 'how?' Apparently Meccano has a CEO and his name is Michael Ingberg. He says, "It's perfect for a film franchise as it is certain to entertain but also stimulate creativity and imagination as the Erector toy system has done around the world for nearly a hundred years." There's no word which supermarket Inberg's office/vista cruiser is normally parked behind. (Coming Soon)

Edward and Jacob ‘Twilight’ Man-Pillows
Tuesday, February 16 by

No… No. NO. NO! NO!!!!!!! They've created half-man, half-pillow hybrid beasts called manllows! Even if you do want to rub your privates against Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner, these THINGS are just freakish versions of them. But I guess a freakish, stroke-victim-faced version is all some disillusioned girls need. (FilmDrunk)Hilarious The Bachelor Recap For Fans/Non-Fans (NotZombies)Oscar Producers Tell Nominees to Shut Up (Moviefone)Improper Condom Fit is a Major Problem (Asylum)25 Awesome Guitars (HolyTaco)Team China Sexual Stretches at the Olympics (TotalProSports)Conquest MMA Model Cali-Luv (CagePotato)Live Avatar Role-Playing (Unreality)Video Game Vixens (Maxim)Selena Gomez Causes Lesbian Mob at the Mall (CelebJihad)The Best Female Action Heroes (Pajiba)One Nerd's Obsession with Megan Fox (Atom)The Daytona 500 In Pictures (AllLeftTurns)How to Party for Free in NYC (MadeMan)

Little Kid Cast as Pre-Barbarian Conan
Tuesday, February 16 by

Last month we reported that Fake Lenny Kravitz had won the role of the titular barbarian in Marcus Nispel's remake of Conan. Today comes word that the role of young Conan will be played by Fake Joey Lawrence. Child actor Leo Howard, who was seen on screens as a little ninja in G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, will portray the miniature barbarian for the first reel of the movie. Congratulations to Leo. And I'm not just saying that because he harnesses the ability to kick me in the face. In fact, I'll give him my unlimited approval if he takes out Jaden Smith at the All Valley Karate Tournament.  (Latino Review)

Kick-Ass Set Visit: McLovin vs. Vaughn. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Tuesday, February 16 by

Empire has some behind-the-scenes footage from their Kick-Ass set visit. It's equal parts corny intro, needless information, British humor, tea with Kit-Kats in it, Christopher Mintz-Plasse talking about his genitals, and an awesome on-set blow-up between director and star. MATTHEW VAUGHN (in regards to Mintz-Plasse): Do you think this boy will ever not be known as McLovin? CHRISTOPHER MINTZ-PLASSE: Do I? Yeah. MATTHEW VAUGHN (laughing him off): Good answer. CHRISTOPHER MINTZ-PLASSE: You're a dick! Oh, McLovin. Looks like we've got another Gary Coleman on our hands. (via Empire) CHECK OUT THE PISS-TAKING AFTER THE JUMP…

Steven Seagal Asks Questions Later
Tuesday, February 16 by

Terrorists! The whole lot of 'em! I like how the one woman takes shelter behind the kid with the corn dog. Their young, soft flesh absorbs bullets well.Created by fearcondom from ytmnd.com. 

‘Shutter Island’ Actress Michelle Williams
Tuesday, February 16 by

Michelle Williams may always be the "other girl" from Dawson's Creek, but she earned herself an Oscar nomination for Brokeback Mountain and all Katie Holmes has is Tom Cruise and a washed brain. Maybe her performance in Shutter Island will give people something other to associate her with than a dead Heath Ledger. A word from Michelle: "Outside of the business during a dry spell, I scooped ice cream at a country fair, and I ate more than I sold."Becoming a fatty is no way to win auditions, Michelle. But bringing the casting director ice cream is… What a conundrum!The pics after the jump are very straight-forward.

‘Law Abiding Citizen’ Contest Winner!
Tuesday, February 16 by

And the winning caption is…This is a lot different without the wall with the hole in it.I guess we set ourselves up for that one. I thought our audience might take the high road, but I'm so glad they didn't.The winner will receive Law Abiding Citizen on Blu Ray and DVD, as well as a Duxiana travel pillow valued at over $100. You keep that pillow clean, ya hear?Thanks to everyone who posted on the Screen Junkies Facebook wall. You guys came up with some great/sick stuff. We're concerned about most of your mental conditions.Law Abiding Citizen is in stores today. The Blu Ray includes the theatrical cut and the unrated director's cut with 11 minutes of unseen footage. 

Marc Webb Meets with James Cameron to Discuss 3-D ‘Spider-Man’
Tuesday, February 16 by

All my ladies in the house with they real hair, who don't need welfare… Make some noise!!!Looks like the makers of Sony's Spider-Man reboot are taking steps to ensure they don't completely mess it all up. Avatar producer John Landau announced that Marc Webb met with alpha-director James Cameron last week to discuss shooting in 3D. However, talks broke down with an abrupt cold-cock when Webb asked Cameron if he was sad that he never got to make his Spider-Man. Just kidding. The playdate seemed to go well and both Cameron and Webb enjoyed a lolly after the two finished playing trucks.From Landau:"Last [week] we met the director of [the next 'Spider-Man' film]. [Webb] wants to do the next one in 3D, which they've announced that they want to do. So, we want to try to support that as much as possible."He then went on to address the films that don't do 3D correctly:"Clash of The Titans is coming out in 3D; they're converting it very hastily into 3D. I'm not in favor if that. If you want to shoot a 3D movie, shoot it in 3D."Daaaamn, Landau. Dems be fightin' words. Though, I'd have to agree with him on this. Dude knows what he's talking about. Yet I'm torn given his position on pterodactyl rape. (MTV)

10 Worst Oscar Best Pictures of All Time
Tuesday, February 16 by

As awards season heats up, I want to remind you not to take things so seriously. No matter what wins Best Picture, all the other nominees, and even the snubbed favorites, continue to exist. You’ll always be able to enjoy whatever movies you liked. In fact, years from now people might laugh at the Best Picture winner. I looked back over Oscar’s history and picked out some of the more dubious winners, certainly movies that wouldn’t be on any “Best of Anything” lists today.10) Ordinary People