This commercial was on air around the time A Nightmare On Elm Street 4 came out. I'm pretty sure if you called Freddy verbally sexed you up for a steep fee, but my kindergarten friends could have been lying to me.These links don't have a surcharge.Sandra Bullock's German Acceptance Speech (Moviefone)Gorillas May Eat Monkeys (Asylum)Jack From Will & Grace is Gay. DUH. (PopEater)25 Animals Humping the Wrong Animal (HolyTaco) Sandra Bullock Accepts Razzie, Gives Away DVDs (FilmDrunk)Five Reasons Why Your Wife Hates Juliette Lewis (Unreality)Marc Savard Stretchered Off The Ice After Fight (TotalProSports)Hot Girls From Hot Places (Maxim)Ultra Monster Dancedown (Smosh)Miley Cyrus Gives AIDs a Chance (CelebJihad)18 Amazing Fight Fist-Poses (CagePotato)The Most Divisive Movie in Pajiba History (Pajiba)This Is Your Brain On Avatar (Atom)The 7 People You Meet at The Gym (MadeMan)Ingrid Vandebosch Mega Gallery (AllLeftTurns)
Hold on to your fig leaves, folks, this is gonna get sinful. Walden Media and Paramount have seen the light, and the light told them the Book of Genesis would make a totally rad 3D movie with the potential of bringing in sh*t buckets full of money. The film shall be titled In The Beginning, and Cary Granat will work with Real Fx to make a 3D snake so frightening you'll be digging up your real King James Bibles.Naturally, they got John Fusco, the guy who wrote the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, to offer his take on creation. How does one go from telling a tale of abominations such as teenage mutant ninja turtles to interpreting The Bible? It's my hope he puts a fresh spin on that tired Old Testament story. Temptation comes in the form of pizza, not apples/vajayjay. Am I right, Michelangelo?They're still just in the planning stages, so hopefully this project won't come to FRUITition (rim shot, fart noise). A mighty hand will come down from the heavens and bitch slap everyone involved. This hand, of course, belonging to Mel Gibson. If you're going to exploit The Bible let's be serious and get the best. (Deadline)
Hip grandma Betty White will soon be staying up nine hours past her bedtime. People caught up with the aged star at Elton John's Oscars viewing party where she confirmed the rumors that she will appear on an upcoming episode of Saturday Night Live, though she doesn't know when. Originally, it was believed she would appear on a "Women of Comedy" episode alongside Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Molly Shannon but Lorne Michaels has shot down those reports.It's not known whether she will host or provide a cameo but White is just happy for to be a part of the confusing campaign. "I don't know why or how," says White, "but it's been wonderful." Though at the age of 88, I'm sure more than a few things confuse her. Like young women nowadays always putting their elbows on the table. Back in her day, a lady knew how to ensnare a man. (People)
John Hughes's career is in upswing after many quiet years. Sadly he's pretty dead but, much like Tupac before him, he still has unproduced work floating around out there. And the streets is hot for one of these screenplays. Grisbys Go Broke, a story about a wealthy Chicago family who lose everything and move to the country, is raising a few eyebrows in Hollywood.Paramount is rumored to be interested in producing though no official offer has been made. It would only make sense for them to acquire the project though. Last night's Hughes tribute has him fresh in everybody's minds and besides, they're making movies about f*cking bubblegum these days. At this rate we'll be lucky not to see a movie called, Hey, 'Member That Time I Farted? and its sequel, Hey, 'Member That Time I Farted Underwater?, within the next decade. (THR)
Alice Eve is my new favorite thing on the planet. That's right, I like her even more than dogs dressed up as bananas. Alice is getting her first starring role as the 10 in She's Out Of My League, but you may also know her from a little film called Crossing Over. I'm not saying you've seen the film, I'm just saying you've Googled the words "Alice Eve Crossing Over." A word from Alice: "There is an acting gene that has been passed down to me by my parents. It's nature, not nurture" There are a couple of other traits that must have been passed down as well. A couple of fine, fine traits. Check out more of Alice's good genes after the jump.
"I interrupt this speech to put my fist in my mouth!"The strangest moment at last night's Academy Awards (besides whatever was coming out of Sean Penn's mouth) was when Music by Prudence director-producer Roger Ross Williams bolted to the stage to accept the best documentary short statue. At first I thought he ran because he was seated in the nosebleeds, but it soon became clear that he was running for his life when a crazy drunk lady bum-rushed the stage. Turns out that lady was Elinor Burkett, a once-producer on the documentary who had removed herself from it over a year ago and not sitcom star Marcia Wallace as I had originally believed.Get the he said, she said from Salon after the jump.
Wheeeeew, did you guys catch that Oscar thing last night?! What a thing that was, huh? Not so much? Well if you didn't read along with our live blog while you were watching I can understand why you might not have had any fun. But hey, that doesn't mean you can't read it now and laugh your head off from the nostalgia. Last night will be a night we'll all remember for a VERY long time. Wait, a woman won something right?Check out the winners here, and read our "hilarious" live blog below! SJ Oscar Live Blog
The 82nd Annual Academy Awards have come and gone with no real big upsets. Here's a quick recap but you can also check out our live blog for a play-by-play of the night.The Hurt Locker took home Best Picture as well as snagging the Best Director prize for Kathryn Bigelow. Not to mention Best Original Screenplay for Mark Boal.Jeff Bridges finally won the Best Actor prize that has been waiting for him for his portrayal of Bad Blake in Crazy Heart.Sandra Bullock was surprised to see she edged out Meryl Streep to win Best Actress for The Blind Side.The supporting categories went to Cristoph Waltz and Mo'Nique.Though James Cameron was beat by a girl, Avatar won three prizes – Best Art Direction, Best Cinematography, and Best Visual Effects.A round of congratulations are in order for all of the winners as well as the nominees who went home empty-handed. It's a thrill just to be considered and I think we all can agree that the real loser of the night was Ben Stiller.CHECK OUT THE FULL LIST OF WINNERS AFTER THE JUMP…
This 2:30 new trailer for Iron Man 2 packs more punch than the ten hour Academy Award broadcast I just live blogged until my fingers and eyes bled. Luckily for you, I stopped the hemorrhaaging long enough to write this post. I was impressed with the first trailer for Iron Man 2, but the new one definitely sticks it in its predecessor and breaks it off. The reason for this: Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow. Can I just say, DAMN. Halfway through, she body-spins around some henchman before slamming his head in to the ground. Best way to die ever. The trailer also features more Stark, Fury, Whiplash, War Machine, and an easily foldable Iron Man suit, but no amount of CGI can trump Scarlett's magnificent naturals (James Cameron hangs his head, defeated). Check out the new trailer after the jump. Iron Man 2 hits theaters May 7, 2010.
Someone finally caught on to the fact that Tim Burton loves the adjective "creepy" like a fat kid loves cake. Even the room he holds his development meetings in is creepy. Burton's creative team seems to be over the whole "spiral staircase" motif, but the director marches on. Play that wild-eyed man off, Danny Elfman!
Say hello to my little friend, indeed…Here are your weekend links.Win a Tim Burton Signed Alice in Wonderland Prop (Moviefone)If the Oscars Were Honest (Asylum)What if Burton Never Met Depp? (FlickSided)Brett Favre Talks Retirement, Hannah Montana (PopEater)FilmDrunk's Guide to the Oscars (FilmDrunk)Star Wars in the Real World Gallery (Unreality)Who Knew Golfing Could Be So Painful (TotalProSports)Sex: Have Your Cake and Eat It Too (Maxim)10 Fatass Oscar Winners (CelebJihad)WEC 47 Weigh-Ins Go Smoothly, Now Comes Violence (CagePotato)10 Best Quotes of 2009 (Pajiba)Giant Robots Fighting Monsters! (Atom)Female Pickup Artists (MadeMan)2011 Shelby Mustang Pace Car (AllLeftTurns)
New Orleans has been long considered the authority on good taste by the rest of the United States, so it should come as no surprise that the Big Easy is trying to stamp out Jersey Shore.The New Orleans club Republic has posted a sign outside its door that disapproves of the "L" in GTL:If it's on the Jersey Shore, it's not coming through the door. No Affliction. No Ed Hardy. No Christian Audigier. No Exceptions.Apparently they're pissed about the Bar Refaeli thing too. But don't worry, outfits like this are still welcomed 100% in New Orleans.(Fail Blog)
An artist named monomauve designed this impressive bust of The Simpsons nuclear power plant owner Mr. Burns. If you speak computer graphics talk, it was done with Zbrush and rendered in 3ds max. Now this is some art I can get behind. I wouldn't mind owning an entire museum of Simpsons busts displayed prominently on pedestals. Oh the conversations they'd have with each other in my mind…Check out more of monomauve's work here.
Here lies Warts.Paramount is eager to dig up the remains of the Pet Sematary franchise. Producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura has picked up the cautionary tale about the dangers of Indian burial grounds with 1408's Matthew Greenberg taking over scripting duties from Mike Werb and Michael Colleary.The film, based on Stephen King's novel, tells the story of a family from the city who moves to ideallic Maine. They soon discover a cursed pet cemetary that resurrects household pets as demons. Things take a hellish turn when they bury their murdered toddler on the plot. Is it even legal to bury your dead on your own? Aren't there laws?? Please forward all research to me for reasons that are none of your concern. (THR)
Ellen Barkin is one foxy older woman. The squinty-eyed blond is best known for rollin' around in the sheets with Pacino in Sea of Love, but some of you younger folks might recognize her from Ocean's Thirteen. Did someone just yell MILF? Pipe down. A word from Ellen: "What the hell was I thinking? Marry a rich guy? Was I crazy?"Completely insane. Put your arms in to this straight jacket and come with me. More MILF after the jump.
We already know that Steve Guttenberg feels another Police Academy would be good for the world. The healing power of nut shots and superglue pranks should not be underestimated. But do we really need another sequel? Or a reboot for that matter?? New Line Cinema and Warner Bros think so.The studios announced that they will be returning to the series with an all-new relaunch of the series. Though no writer or director are attached at this time, producer Paul Maslansky wants to start with a new cast. This news will make sound effects maestro and series star Michael Winslow cry like a baby. And I don't mean that he will imitate the sound a crying baby makes. The man has bills! (THR)
And that's how Cherie Currie died. A full trailer for The Runaways has been released, and don't worry, there's plenty of leather. After seeing the teaser, I wasn't very amped for this film, but the trailer I kinda likey. Kristen Stewart looks like she's just being her regular angsty self, but Dakota Fanning turns it up a notch or five. She must have been practicing her seductive looks in the mirror for weeks. It's hard to get those AND face painting down all before the movie goes in to production. Learning how to go down on Kristen Stewart is a whole different beast altogether. Check out the full trailer for The Runaways below.
The season four finale of Dexter knocked the wind out of us and made me want to punch John Lithgow (something I swore I'd never do). Though it also served to reinvigorate a slumping storyline. So we were more than eager to chat with executive producer Sara Colleton when we caught up with her on the red carpet at PaleyFest 2010. If you're not caught up on the series, stop reading now as there are SPOILERS AHEAD. Here's what she told us we can expect in the new season.Dexter's not really one to wear his heart on his sleeve. What can we expect as he learns how to grieve?He is going to have to deal with a lot of feelings that he's never felt before, so it'll be interesting. He's going to approach it all, we hope, in a way that is unique and feels authentic to the audience. You'll see him go through all of those things and it will be different. I don't want to telegraph exactly what we're going to do because we want to present what anyone would be going through in that situation in a very unique Dexter-like way.SEE WHAT ELSE COLLETON HAD TO SAY, INCLUDING NEWS ABOUT THE SEASON'S BIG BAD, AFTER THE JUMP…
This album promo will melt both your face and assumption that Christopher Lee is of sound mind. Lee tells the tale of Charlemagne, the first Holy Roman Emperor, via maximum wailage. His album, "Charlemagne: By the Sword and the Cross" is available now.Bang your head to these links. The Language of Johnny Depp (Moviefone)Attractive Women Cause Injuries (Asylum)Heidi Montag's Plastic Surgeon Has Cut Her Off (PopEater)25 Well-Trimmed Bushes (HolyTaco)Al Pacino is a Creepy Old Perv (FilmDrunk)Steve Nash Wants You To Stay Vitaminized (TotalProSports)Memorable Knife-Wielders from Movies (Unreality)Foxiest Fairy Tale Ladies (Maxim)Taylor Swift Sex Toy Controversy (CelebJihad)Naked Chuck Liddell is in Good Company (CagePotato)15 Best Heist Films (Pajiba)If Memes Had Big Budget Campaigns (Atom)Clubs Hate Jersey Shore (MadeMan)Jimmie Johnson Car Fails (AllLeftTurns)25 Funny Reaction Faces (RegretfulMorning)
Zombies getting killed by hot dogs now? The walking dead are getting weak as sh*t. Next thing you know our pees-pees will do the trick, they'll be an outbreak of zombie murder-rape, and then legal types will start talking about "equal rights." It's never worked before and it certainly won't work after an apocalypse.On that note, the red band teaser for George Romero's Survival of the Dead hit the Internetz today. What are the zombies doing in this one, you ask? On an island off the coast of North America, local residents simultaneously fight a zombie epidemic while hoping for a cure to return their un-dead relatives back to their human state. Amazing! How do they keep breathing new life into this dead concept?! Hey, if you don't like my schtick my mom will reimburse you. Salivate at the sight of the red band trailer after the jump.
fap fap fap fap fapWhat a week it's turning out to be for men attracted to holograms. On Monday came news that Amber Heard would be popping out above moviegoers when Drive Angry hits the screen in 3D, and today we got the word that the Warner Brosefs will present Martin Campbell's Green Lantern stereoscopically. That means we'll all be one step closer to the highly-desired Blake Lively motorboat. The science is almost there!!Though filming has yet to begin, it's unknown whether or not the production will shoot with 3D-outfitted cameras or if that look will be added in post. What I do know is if this trend persists, masturbation in the future will be bad for your eyes for two reasons. (Box Office Mojo)
He's oozing sense of humor. James Cameron has weighed in on the decision to cancel a Sacha Baron Cohen Avatar skit from Sunday's Oscars in order to spare the director's feelings. He tells E!:"I don't know anything about that … I don't produce the Oscars. If they want to poke fun at 'Avatar' Sunday, that's okay by me." Show co-producer Bill Mechanic denies the allegations and comments:"It was a little too MTV for everyone."Oh right. This year's Oscars are about respect and gravitas and not fun party vibes. I forgot about that. I guess that means awards DJ Joel Madden won't be playing Diddy's "I'll Be Missing You" over the celebrity death montage. (Vulture)
Shannon Kane is best known for playing Natalia Fowler on the soap All My Children. If you don't watch daytime television because you're too busy contributing to society or looking for a job (touching yourself), then you're probably not aware of her. Look, ain't she pretty?! A word from Shannon: "I'm currently in flirtation with fellow rookie cop, Brot." Lalala, I can't hear you! I'm too busy working for a living! Shut up, it IS work! Don't drown out the pics after the jump.
Rejected early concept art.It's refreshing to see an animated film about anthropomorphic animals where poop-eating is not involved. Though this one may contain vomiting up mouse skeletons, which you gotta admit is pretty metal (poop-eating is more GG Allin).USA Today has pics from Zack Snyder's Legend of the Guardians, based on the children's book series The Guardians of Ga'Hoole, before the trailer premieres in front of Alice in Wonderland. The film is based on the first three installments of the book series: The Capture, The Journey, and The Rescue. The story follows a young barn owl who is captured and brainwashed to fight in the ongoing owl war that you probably didn't know about. He escapes along with other kidnapped owlets, and heads to the island of Ga’Hoole, to assist its noble, wise owls in fighting the army being created by the wicked rulers of St. Aggie’s. The producers describe the film as being more Harry Potter than Happy Feet. Which is why the voice cast features smart-sounding foreign people as opposed to actors from the Apatow camp. Which really is an outrage. Jonah Hill has a bacon habit to support. (USA Today)CHECK OUT HOW THE DESIGN HAS EVOLVED AFTER THE JUMP…
The long-gestating Smurfs film project is gaining traction now that the animation tests are finished. Popular song and dance man, Neil Patrick Harris has been cast in an unspecified live-action role in the upcoming film. Thus he joins the illustrious ranks of Jason Lee, Breckin Meyer, Matthew Lillard, and Jerry O'Connell before him.The openly gay star is beloved for his talented turns in How I Met Your Mother, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Doogie Howser M.D., the Harold and Kumar films and as host of the Emmys. Though it is unclear whether he will play a human who encounters the Smurfs or the fugly wizard Gargamel, I'm sure he will ably class up this project.Going forward all Richard Gere/Gerbil jokes should be replaced with NPH/Smurf jokes. Homophobes everywhere, please update your dogmatic joke books accordingly. (Deadline Hollywood)
It's kind of disconcerting how well the "Party in the U.S.A." lyrics go with randomly edited together Lost footage of Hurley acting retarded.Nod your head like yeah to these links.The Language of Johnny Depp (Moviefone)Creepy Sexual Ritual Available on Craigslist (Asylum)25 Uses for Old Beer Cans (HolyTaco)Mo'nique's Huband Likes His Women Hairy (FilmDrunk)25 Hot Ski Bunnies (TotalProSports)Best NES Super Mario Brothers Mashups (Unreality)21 Awesome Ice Sculptures (Maxim)The Jonas Brothers Molest a Fat Man (CelebJihad)Tom Lawlor's Hulkster-Themed T-Shirt (CagePotato)Neil Patrick Harris Playing With Smurfs (Pajiba)Obamourage: We Are The World Edition (Atom)Things You Do Better With A Drink (MadeMan)Danica Patrick Fail (AllLeftTurns)
"i'm a real tyrant without my morning cup of joe."After his breakthough as a scarred-up badass in Avatar, Stephen Lang is carving his niche as Hollywood's go-to son of a bitch. Colonel Quaritch has been offered the role of head bad guy in Marcus Nispel's Conan remake. The character, Khalar Singh, is a cruel warlord and former comrade to Conan's miniature dog-loving dad.This sounds like an exciting bit of casting in an otherwise unexciting film. Although it could be dangerous to the plot as I'll probably root for Lang over Jason Momoa. But only because I'll always root against white guys with dreads. Just make my coffee, Smelly.Lang was terrific in Avatar and I'm glad that's leading to more work. And before you rush to comment that he's essentially playing the same role, allow me to point out that this time he'll have a sword. It's a subtle difference. (Latino Review)
Video game movies are relatively cheap to make and they come with a built-in fanbase. Also, Milla Jovovich needs the work. I understand that logic. But there are some games that really do not deserve the Hollywood treatment yet they get picked up anyway. Missile Command is one. Asteroids is another. And now Space Invaders is joining the club. From the LA Times:Warner Bros. is negotiating to acquire feature rights to the landmark shooter from Taito, the Japanese company that originally manufactured the game. If the rights issues all work out, the project would bring on Hollywood fixtures Mark Gordon, Jason Blum and Guymon Casady as producers.I'm excited for the day when I don't have to be negative about movie news. A day when the ideas that are presented are original, cool film ideas. But that day is not today. I'm not saying that I'm immune to making bad decisions. For instance, me creating a ketchup and Honeycomb cereal sandwich didn't turn out so well. But I learned a valuable lesson. Also, burned my penis pretty badly on the panini press in doing so. (LA Times)
No one makes pale dead skin work quite like Christina Ricci. Then pop a red dress on her and you've got yourself a corpse not even Liam Neeson can resist. In After.Life, the Kraken-owning Neeson plays a mortician who communicates with the dead to help them transition to…wait for it…the afterlife. Justin Long is also running around like he usually does trying to figure out what's going on and how he can stop it with a few well-placed quips. Is she dead? Is she alive? Who sees her? Who doesn't? Why isn't Haley Joel Osment in anything anymore? Is it because puberty messed his face up? All of the answers in the After.Life trailer after the jump.
Nicky Whelan is an Australian-born actress/goddess. What do they put in the water over in Australia? All of their hot, talented natives are taking over Hollywood, and rightly so. Isn't that supposed to be an island full of convicts? If so, I'd gladly swing on down and drop the soap in the shower. A word from Nicky: "I'm a good girl when I'm at work."Well work's only nine hours of the day, yaknowwhatI'msayin'?More pics of Nicky being bad after the jump.