If you print this out and tape it to your t-shirt, you will get so laid.Pete Travis is ready to fill the 3D Judge Dredd-shaped hole in our lives. Deadline reports that the Vantage Point director has signed on with DNA Films to bring Judge Joe Dredd back to the big screen, and they'll be looking to secure distribution at Cannes.This is good news for two reasons. A) It can't be worse than the confusing mish-mash that was Sylvester Stallone's version. 2) There's no studio involved to muck up the story. There's no word how faithful the film will stay to the comic series but Alex Garland (Sunshine) is attached to script. I'd like to see a scene where Dredd has his own syndicated courtroom show, and punishes deadbeat roommates to the harshest extremes of the law. Please get on this "Robot Chicken." If you haven't already.
Earlier this year, fans of the original Hobo with a Shotgun trailer wept with joy as production began on a full-length feature starring Rutger Hauer as the titular hobo. Although the film owes its increased popularity to online buzz, the internet is a fickle mistress. With thriving online communities such as Sierra Online and Prodigy and a never-ending supply of cat videos, your typical web surfer has the attention span of a Prodigy subscriber watching cat videos. But the people behind Hobo with a Shotgun understand these shifting web dynamics. As such, they're constantly creating new content to keep our interests piqued. That's why they've released two new teaser videos for fans to enjoy. Truth be told, neither one of these videos make me that excited, but it's way too early to start bitching. Besides, as long as the movie has both a hobo and a shotgun (not necessarily in that order) I'll be going to see it. (DreadCentral) Check out the two new Hobo with a Shotgun videos after the jump.
Back in 1940, all it took to turn a Frenchman into a Nazi was a few dozen Panzers and the promise of an adequate wine ration. In 2010, all it takes to turn a Nazi into a Frenchman is a few million dollars and director Paul W.S. Anderson.Christoph Waltz, who won an Oscar for his portrayal of Colonel Hans Landa (a.k.a. The Jew Hunter) in Inglourious Basterds, has signed on to play Cardinal Richelieu in the upcoming Three Musketeers film. Waltz joins a heavily European cast including Mads Mikkelsen and Milla Jovovich.According to FirstShowing.net, the film will be presented in 3-D. Anderson's version of the classic tale is also "going for a contemporary feel without moving the story from the traditional period setting." I'm assuming that means that the characters will say words like "s**t" and "sexting" while still wearing pantaloons.
These days it seems like every celebrity in Hollywood is trying make a name for themselves via charity. If they're not sending money to Haiti, they're adopting African AIDS babies. Steven Seagal went as far as to bring two Russian girls to the US, and even paid for their room and board once they got here. All these good deeds are enough to make you sick. That's why it's nice to see an actor like Anthony Hopkins who is so down to earth. Despite all the fame and fortune, the Oscar winner still enjoys terrorizing the homeless, just like us regular folk. Back in 2002, when Hopkins was trying to fight his alcoholism, he decided to go and volunteer at a Midnight Mission in Los Angeles. After all, nothing takes your mind off the sauce like hanging out on skid row with a bunch of winos. According to the mission's director, Clancy Imislund, Hopkins really enjoyed scaring the bejesus out of the homeless. It's funny. We have film nights here and one time we showed Silence of the Lambs. So as a surprise I asked Tony to come down and tap a few people on the shoulder at the end and say 'Hello' in that voice he does. You should have seen their faces. They were like, 'Arrggh!' He got a real kick out of that. I bet this little prank was especially popular with some of the schizophrenics in attendance. Normally when they talk to characters from a movie, no one else can see them. But thanks to Hopkins and his rapier wit, now they know that they aren't crazy afterall, and neither are their plans to start mutilating house pets. Kudos to you, Sir Anthony! (CinemaBlend)
Someone put together all of Quentin Tarantino's trunk shots. Okay, the Inglourious Basterds one isn't from a trunk, but that's because they didn't have cars in the '40s. No, you brush up on YOUR history. (BuzzFeed)Get down real low to enjoy these links.Trailer for Adam Sandler's 'Grown-Ups' (Break)Six Sexy Cartoon MILFs (TVSquad)Are Booty Beanbags Porn? (Asylum)E*Trade Slams Lindsay Lohan (PopEater)25 Old People Being Awesome (HolyTaco)MPAA Going Big Brother All Over Your Ass (FilmDrunk)Awesome Star Fox 64 Promo Video (Unreality)Pats Cheerleaders Get Frisky (TotalProSports)2010 Hot 100 (Maxim)Santos vs. Nelson Likely for UFC 117 (CagePotato)Lawrence Taylor's Alleged Victim (CelebJihad)17 Hysterical Singles Ads (Smosh)Five Gayest Straight Actors in Hollywood (Pajiba)Sneak Peak at LOST Finale (Atom)20 Twitter Pick-Up Lines (MadeMan)25 Awesome NASCAR Products (AllLeftTurns)
Today we have further assurance that every comedy will eventually look and sound the same as Deadline reports that funnymen of note, Aziz Ansari and Danny McBride, are teaming up for another "laffer." Mandate Pictures bought the rights, based on a pitch by Ansari and "30 Rock" writer Matt Hubbard. McBride's Rough House will produce, with "Parks and Recreation" writer Harris Wittels handling the script. No details are known about the rib-tickler as of yet but with both Ansari and McBride on board, you can bet it will be a yuckfest. A real orgy of giggles.The knee-slapper isn't expected to go before cameras until the duo wrap their upcoming guffawcalypse, 30 Minutes Or Less. If my gut ain't lying, (and she never does) this is gonna be one uproarious talkie.
Here's a shot of Jason Momoa being man-handled by the wardrobe department in the new Conan flick. "Make the leather peck-strap tighter!" director Marcus Nispel proclaims off-screen. How does it look now, Mr. Nispel?Marcus Nispel evaluates peck-strap tightness. "Tighter!"The man loves restrictive accessories. Check out more pics after the jump, including what I can only imagine is a grip in Nispel's timeout cage.
Is that lumpy weirdo wandering around the set of Green Lantern actually Peter Sarsgaard in his Hector Hammond makeup? I certainly hope so. Otherwise, it means that years of nepotistic hiring practices within the carpenters union have finally resulted in inbreeding.If the film is faithful to the comic, Sargaard's brain will stretch and grow when exposed to radiaton from a mysterious meteorite. The side effects grant him high intelligence, psionic abilities, and immortality (large, distracting hat sold separately.).Whether this is Sarsgaard or not, we need to kill this thing with fire just to be safe. If it's skilled with a hammer, we're all dead already. We just don't know it yet. (Gordon and the Whale)
Paula Patton plays the victim in Denzel Washington’s murder case in the film Déjà Vu. But she’s also not the victim because she’s still alive. Listen, I don’t have time to explain the whole space-time continuum thing right now. Go read Stephen Hawking after you ogle Paula.A word from Paula: "Well you always joke. There’s that countdown to the sex scene. Like, 'Okay, five days until sex scene. No more carbs."I totally agree. Okay, one hour until sex scene. Finish your burrito.Check out more pics of carb-less Paula after the jump.
Daybreakers is available on Blu Ray and DVD tomorrow, and Screen Junkies is giving away 5 copies! In the film, Ethan Hawke plays a vampire scientist working on a substitute for human blood before the last drop is drained from the remaining humans. Sam Neill has glowing amber eyes and Willem Dafoe wields a crossbow. What more do you want?!All you have to do is post on the SJ Facebook fan page the funniest caption you can muster to accompany the still frame above.If you're not already awesome and a fan of Screen Junkies on Facebook then become one, post a caption, and you'll be entered to win. Click HERE to be whisked away to our Facebook page.Contest ends Wednesday at midnight and the winner will be announced via Facebook, Twitter and on the site.You can enter as many times as you like. Captions smeared in blood won't be accepted. Use your keyboards, people.
"Saturday Night Live" is officially a hit again thanks to Betty White and her whore mouth. The Facebook-supported, hood-approved actress officially rocked it and helped the show score its highest ratings since a pre-election November 2008 episode.Many of the episode's sketches coasted by on the "Grandma says naughty words" schtick of which White is clearly a master. In fact, her muffin sketch is all anyone is talking about today as cubicles everywhere tune into "SNL" via Hulu. I hope I don't get caught by the boss but whatever. It wouldn't be the first time I was fired because of an old woman's vagina. (Reuters)
Andy Rooney went on "60 Minutes" last night and basically explained that he’s old as he decomposed in front of us. He doesn’t understand your Lady Gagas and your Ushers….
"Those mozzarella sticks had better be piping hot when they finally get here, or I'll pitch a real bitch-fit."In order to keep a tight lid on the secret series finale, "Lost" producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse filmed four endings for the puzzling series. Viewers who can't wait for the DVD bonus features, won't have to wait long to see them. In fact, they'll be shown about a half an hour after the credits roll and everyone has had sufficient time to shout, "Aww, what the fuh?!!!"The brass-balled Jimmy Kimmel will air the alternate endings exclusively on his "Jimmy Kimmel Live: Aloha to Lost" after the super-sized episode, with the "Lost" cast joining him in-studio. No need to stay up so late though. I've actually been tipped off to the alternate conclusions. They play out as follows:The first alternate ending has Jack returning to the mainland to find that a statue of Ben now sits in the Lincoln Memorial.Much like "The Sopranos," "Lost" will also end with a song by Journey. In this instance, "Anyway You Want It" blasts over the victory party scene after Lapidus exclaims, "We're all gonna get laid!!!"Finally, it comes to light that Hurley did actually fart that time in the van with Miles and the corpse. With a man his size eating all that undercooked boar's meat, it just makes sense that a few would slip out from time to time.(/Film)
Iron Man 2 has been in theaters for less than a week, but that didn't stop director Jon Favreau from speculating on the villain for Iron Man 3. And if Favreau has his way, Tony Stark will be taking on The Mandarin in the next installment of the popular franchise. "You've got to do The Mandarin", says the director, who has been teasing this in the films already with tiny references to the Ten Ring organization, "but the problem is, the way he's depicted in the comic books… you don't want to see that." The "problem" Favreau is referring to is the fact that the character, an evil descendant of Genghis Khan, has been criticized for being nothing more than a negative Asian stereotype. However, I have no doubt that Hollywood can work around this problem, changing the The Mandarin to a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant businessman hellbent on oppressing minorities and destroying the environment, while still maintaining the essence of the character. However, since Tony Stark is set to appear in the upcoming Avengers film, work on Iron Man 3 will have to wait until at least 2012. And if my sources inside the government are correct, by that time Hollywood will have already been destroyed in a limited nuclear exchange with the Chinese, making concern about The Mandarin a moot point. (Empire)
Do you like "The Office"? Do you like Indians (if you are Indian, please disregard)? Then you're gonna love the new sitcom, "Outsourced," which premieres on NBC this fall.Based on the 2006 romantic comedy by the same name, the show follows the exploits of an American manager, played by Ben Rappaport, who is put in charge of a recently outsourced call center in India. According to Deadline Hollywood, the show is billed as “the Midwest meets the exotic East in a hilarious culture clash.”Wait, someone from the Midwest traveling abroad? Outrageous!I haven't been this psyched about a fish-out-of-water cultural comedy since a certain street-smart jive-talking American teamed up with a lovable Engrish-speaking Asian to bring down an international conspiracy. Of course, I'm taking about Brett Ratner's The Killing Fields.
Thirty-five years ago, this article's headline would have made absolutely no sense. Today, it has the power to send millions of nerds into a frenzy. TomTom has released a Darth Vader voice for their GPS system (a.k.a. nav computer). For just $13, the Sith Lord can guide you anywhere you need to go. Unfortunately, most Star Wars fans already know the way to their parents' basement, so the application is virtually useless. In addition to Vader, the voices of C-3PO, Yoda, and Han Solo are all slated to be released this summer. That's all fine and good, but I long for the day when I can type my address into my TomTom and hear the soothing voice of Jar Jar Binks tell me, "Wessa Goin' Home!" (Collider) Check out Darth Vader's TomTom recording session after the jump.
I don't feel all that comfortable sharing pictures of children on the Internet, but I am only here to serve and people have been eager to get a look at Matt Reeves' Let Me In. Though, for my own piece of mind, I'd like to ask that all perverts direct their lustfull eyeballs elsewhere and not at these first pics from the maligned remake of Let The Right One In. If you're willing to view responsibly, you can get a better look at Kick-Ass's Chloe Moretz as Abby the vampire girl and Kodi Smit-McPhee as her new friend Owen, in the pictures after the jump. And please sign the guestbook.
Iron Man 2 opened in first place on Friday night, earning an estimated $52 million, easily surpassing Alice in Wonderland with the biggest debut of 2010. But when it comes to superhero movies, Batman still reigns supreme at the box office.While weekend projections for IM2 are an impressive $135 million, it's a far cry from the $158.4 million brought in by The Dark Knight, which holds the all-time first weekend record.I guess this shouldn't come as a surprise. Batman could clearly beat Iron Man in a fight. Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne are both geniuses and millionaire playboys, but Bruce Wayne is motivated by an unquenchable thirst for vengeance. And as we all know, vengeance is a powerful motivator. Just ask my old high-school nemesis, Joseph Sinclair. I showed him…him and that wife of his. (Collider)
What is it with people and their five fingers?Toby Jones is in final negotiations to play villain Armin Zola in Captain America: The First Avenger. Title not look familiar? That's because it used to be The First Avenger: Captain America. Give yourself a few days to adjust. Like when your parents got divorced.The British actor is best known for playing Truman Capote in Infamous, Karl Rove in W., and the grocery clerk with a penchant for gun slinging in The Mist. He'll be joining Hugo Weaving, who's already been cast as Red Skull, in an effort to give Captain America a really tough time. Jones' character, Armin Zola, is a scientific genius specializing in genetics and cloning. So don't be surprised when a herd of two-headed sheep stampede an entire city. (/Film)
**Honk honk honk!!!**Here are your weekend links.Terrence Howard to Play Nelson Mandela (Moviefone) Intimate Gymnastics Will Pump You Up (Asylum)Top Celebrity Commencement Speeches of All Time (PopEater)25 Worst Moms Ever (HolyTaco)RPattz & KStew Make It Official (FilmDrunk)When Adult Cartoon Series Collide (Unreality)Wrestling Backflip Fail (TotalProSports)10 Best Movie Cliffhangers (Maxim)BJ Penn Is Still a -365 Favorite (CagePotato)Miss USA Disgraces Her Country (CelebJihad)10 Best Twictures (Smosh)Gwyneth Paltrow Career Assessment (Pajiba)Iron Manly (Atom)13 Ways to Ruin a Date (MadeMan)Showtime Southern 500 Odds (AllLeftTurns)
Inception set up a viral game called Mind Crime that if you beat it you could watch the new trailer for the film. Well guess what? Screw that noise! Someone else played that shiz and now we're all reaping the benefits. The new trailer looks downright awesome. I still have no idea what the F is going on, but I WANT to know, and someone once told me that's a win on the marketing side of things. This film looks like a serious trip, and with Christoper Nolan behind the wheel I have no doubt the destination will be Giddyland. I'll bring the diapers if you bring the Sour Patch Kids. Check out the trailer after the jump. Inception gets inside theaters and your mind July 15.
Hey everyone, meet Luke Sampson Busey! Proud papa Gary Busey introduced his 10-week-old son on Thursday evening's "Entertainment Tonight." Girlfriend Steffanie Sampson is the person responsible for bringing another Busey into the world on Feb. 23. My sources tell me world leaders are gathering at a secret summit this evening to decide how to proceed.
Okay, new secret to success. If at first you don't succeed, throw out all your ideas and retell someone else's story with the addition of zombies. It worked for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and the new "Melrose Place." ZING!!! (Tired concepts get tired jokes.)The Beatles are Hollywood's latest undead remix with the announcement that Double Feature has optioned Alan Goldsher's novel Paul Is Undead. The book tells the history of the undead band as they invade the world while evading zombie hunter Mick Jagger and Eighth Level Ninja Lord Yoko Ono. Racist much? I mean, just because Mick Jagger is British doesn't automatically make him a monster killing expert. It's stereotypes like that that hold us back as a people. (Deadline)
Inception continually insists on spitting in gravity's face. If Sir Isaac Newton laid eyes upon this new poster his powdered wig would spin round from pure outrage. What's the floor?! What's the ground?! City-dwellers have to spend most of the day just trying to maintain their balance. It's the maintenance workers I feel the most sorry for, though. The high rise window washers must curse their existence with each rising sun. (IMPAwards)
"I found this in Mrs. Lee Jones' sock drawer."Will Smith and Columbia Pictures have officially chosen a date, so you can stop asking all the time, Will Smith's mom. As foretold in the Ancient Scrolls of Fresh Princia, Men in Black 3D will indeed open Memorial Day Weekend 2012. Deadline reports that the sequel has set the film for a May 25th, 2012 release. Known in many circles as "Big Willy Weekend." Note: circles of idiots.Tommy Lee Jones has yet to sign on, nor has Josh Brolin. The production is in the process of finalizing their deals. It's unclear at this point which role Jaden Smith will be shoe-horned into, but I'm sure it will be justly earned. He'll earn it you guys.
This Sunday, May 9th, it's Mother's Day, a holiday that celebrates all the gloriousness that is “Mom.” It’s a day to show love and appreciation for the woman who raised you. But what if she didn’t do all that great of a job? Well, you're in luck, son! Screenjunkies has designed some very special greeting cards for the parentally challenged Mommy Dearests out there, and they can all be yours, right now. Send one with adoration, or send one with contempt, just as long as you send one. It’s really the thought that counts. Click on the TITLE of each video to take you to that card's individual page. Then forward the URL to Mom or Grandma! Or just send her the whole batch!
Though best known for her role as Ashley on the popular series "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air," Tatyana Ali has continued to act (to some peoples surprise), has not gotten arrested for drugs, has not had any children with loser men, and has launched a music career. A word from Tatyana: "It doesn't matter what the outcome is as long as I did it."The outcome matters if it's an STD. But if you get a pretty awesome sex story out of it, I guess it's worth it.More pics of Tatyana all grown up after the jump.
Every young actress in Hollywood is vying for the lead in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. It's like their Captain America.Executives at Sony insist that they are nowhere near casting the part, but Carey Mulligan, Ellen Page, Kristen Stewart, Mia Wasikowska, Natalie Portman, Keira Knightley, Anne Hathaway, Olivia Thirlby, and Scarlett Johannsen are actively campaigning for the role all the same. Mulligan has lunched with the screenwriter and Page has written a heartfelt note to the producer. Johannsen gave Hathaway an upper-decker and Kristen Stewart has just kinda stood around looking emo. Despite these sincere attempts, director David Fincher may cast an unknown for the part because he feels the material is strong enough to not require a name actress.Although Brad Pitt has reportedly been offered the male lead. They should just cast Angelina. I'm sure she has a dragon tattooed on her someplace. (Deadline)
"Mmmm, I'd like to be the meat in this sandwich."A little birdy told Deadline that Dwayne Johnson is sniffing the butt of a lead role in Fast & Furious 5, or the title Paul Walker wrote in crayon on his Trapper Keeper, Fast Five. Johnson is already starring in the revenge drama Faster where he'll also be driving fast. We got it, Rock. You're a man. You like fast cars, fast women, and eating chili peppers with Vin Diesel. It would be really cool if you'd let Paul tag along sometime. He doesn't think you guys like him. Awww, come back here, Paul! You weren't supposed to hear that!
Jedi drunk with power. There should be an aptitude test administered before such a title is granted. And I'm not talking about the physical abilities section. I'm talkin' Scantron, analogies, that crap. Otherwise you're going to graduate a slew of Jedi who pretend their lightsabers are dicks. (BuzzFeed)May these links be with you. Career Watch: Gerard Butler (Moviefone)How You Search for Boobs (Asylum)Heidi Montag's Surgery Obsession (PopEater)25 Awesome Motorcycle Helmets (HolyTaco)'Groundhog Day' Reimagined as a Crappy Rom-Com (FilmDrunk)15 Awesome Cyborg Animals (Unreality)When Bobsledding and Skateboarding Collide (TotalProSports)10 Best Donuts in America (Maxim)Daley Serves Koscheck at Pre-Fight Press Conference (CagePotato)Rihanna Butt Pics Collection (CelebJihad)15 Most Bizarre College Courses (Smosh)Blockbusters, Leading Actors, Undressed (Pajiba)10 Indie Awesome Comedies You Missed (MadeMan)NASCAR Skydiver Crashes (AllLeftTurns)20 Sexy Latinas (RegretfulMorning)