All up-and-coming comedians need to pay the bills somehow, and acting in TV commercials is a better somehow than busing tables. Tina Fey may be a big hot shot deal now, but back in the day she was a Mutual Savings Bank loyalist. At least for 30 seconds. I guess this is how you said "hi" in the 90s?
David Schwimmer has taken his message behind enemy lines by posting the trailer for David Schwimmer's Trust: Based On the Play "Trust" By David Schwimmer online. Sadly, since returning to investigate the debris of his dead planet many light years away, Chris Hansen isn't available to save our daughters from the clutches of sexual predators. Clive Owen stars as the dad in this cautionary tale about the dangers of letting your child chat with strangers online, and he should really step up his parenting a bit. You never know when your daughter's AOL Buddy might turn out to be a wolf in dog-wearing-sunglasses clothing.
Hey Predators. Learn how to sleep with Clive Owen's daughter after the jump…
Previously on "True Blood," Bill's ex, Lorena, tortured Bill. The King proposed to the Queen and she accepted (with Eric’s help). Jesus found out that Lafayette deals V and was none too happy. Jason hooked up with new girl Crystal but then found out she's engaged. Sam found out that Tommy competes in dog fights. Tara bashed Franklin's head in. Sookie found Bill but was immediately caught, and then bit, by Lorena. And now on to this week's episode…
More after the jump…
Laura Ramsey is known in most circles as the 'Hollywood female equivalent to Kurt Warner'. My guess is she's called this due to to her rise from a Wisconsin waitress to working leading lady in less than a year. Laura has starred in She's the Man with Amanda Bynes, Lords of Dogtown with Nikki Reed, and Venom with Method Man. One of these co-stars in not like the others…
A word from Laura: "Method Man smells like cabbage."
Yep, that sounds about right.
More pics of Laura after the jump…
Margarita Levieva (hot Lisa P. from Adventureland) and two dudes (Brian Geraghty, Josh Peck) have signed on to star in the ATM thriller ATM. Chris Sparling (Buried) wrote the script and David Brooks is directing. The film centers on "three co-workers who make a late-night visit to an ATM and end up in a desperate fight for their lives when they become trapped by an unknown man."
The whole horrific night comes about when the three co-workers stop for some late night pizza after a company Christmas party. They need cash to pay for the slices and end up getting stuck in an ATM vestibule for ninety minutes with a hooded mad man standing between them and their car. Of course, their cellphones are either back in the vehicle or out of battery. Clearly this film is a cautionary tale for anyone craving a midnight snack. It's not worth the risk. Or the caloriiiiiiies! (THR)
Nicole Eggert is back on TV!! Ready your DVRs, boys!!!
Sorry, avid masturbators frozen in ice in the early 1990's who are now being thawed and rescued. The world as you knew it has undoubtedly changed. The babes of "Baywatch" — Traci Bingham, Nicole Eggert, Gena Lee Nolin, and Donna D'Errico — are not the starlets they once were. Egged on by the VH-1 washed-up celebrity craze, the sun-damaged quartet are now living together for a new reality show where each pushes their individual business ventures (as well as the limits of what we're willing to call a reality show).
Eggert is working on her new workout DVDs, Bingham has opened a dating service, Nolin has written a book about post-partem depression, and D'Errico has become a conspiracy theorist. I honestly couldn't have predicted these career paths for the former lifeguards, and from the recent pictures I've seen of Nicole Eggert, maybe she shouldn't use a reality show to hawk her workout DVDs. She should use a radio show. (Variety)
I never saw the first "X-Files" porn parody, but after watching the trailer for the prequel I am damn excited to jump on this sexy conspiracy train to the truth/money shot. "The Sex Files 2: A Dark XXX Porn Parody" looks better than any episode of "The Mentalist" I've caught while flipping through stations. The trailer doesn't even show any sex, just the inbetween parts. The moody lighting, the mystery, the action, the goo — it's all there. I'm going out a limb by saying this, but once boobs are added this could be the best sci-fi conspiracy alien TV show porn parody ever.
Check out the trailer below.
The ecstasy at the 2006 MTV Movie Awards was off the hook.
Robert Rodriguez has found time in his busy schedule of crap-he'll-never-get-around-to-directing to make room for Deadpool. The LA Times reports that he and 20th Century Fox have begun negotiations. I like to imagine a sleep-deprived Rodriguez propped up Weekend At Bernie's style while they hash out the percentage points. No deal has been worked out as of right now, but we'll let you know when an assistant pushes their hand through Rodriguez's sleeve to sign the papers.
I guess this is exciting news. Rodriguez always has an interesting approach to filmmaking, and I'd much rather see him at the helm than someone like Jonathan Mostow. Besides, this is our best chance to see Cheech Marin play Deadpool.
Good news, Spider-Man fans! A release date has been set for the reboot.
Bad news, Spider-Man fans. It's not coming out until July 3, 2012. This means we'll have to wait almost two-full years to see Andrew Garfield step into the red and blue tights. Chances are, some of us might die before it comes out. A few of us might even lose our virginity in that time span. Both are scary thoughts, but it's not my intention to frighten. I just want everyone to be extra careful when going up and down the stairs to their parents basement so we can all stay healthy enough to bitch about the film on July 4th, 2012. (Empire Online)
Battle: Los Angeles, the story of a planet-wide alien invasion, began its marketing campaign at this year's Comic-Con. But for those who didn't have the time to wade through a sea of virgins and scumbag Hollywood types, the movie posters are now available online.
The film features Aaron Eckhart as a Marine waging a guerrilla-style resistance movement after invaders "turn the streets of Los Angeles into a war zone," just like Laker fans do after their team wins a championship. But hopefully the aliens won't wear all that tacky purple and gold clothing while they trash the place. (Empire Online)
See all the posters after the jump…
Do you like strippers? Do you like werewolves? Well, even if you only like strippers, you'll probably love Strippers vs. Werewolves.
Producer Jonathan Sothcott is working on bringing this epic showdown to the big screen. With a script from UK horror writer Pat Higgins, the film hopes to serve as a comedic homage to 80's horror movies, sort of a "Shaun of the Dead meets Bitchslap in the style of The Howling."
"As I was reading it I was thinking 'this is like a great reference to The Monster Squad,'" said Sothcott. "And when I asked Pat, it turned out it was!" (Dread Central)
The Alamo Drafthouse Rolling Roadshow (sponsored by Levi's) kicks off next week with public viewings of nine classic films around the country. In an interesting twist, the movies will be shown at the locations where they were filmed. The theme of the event is "‘We Are All Workers."
Rooted by one of the nation’s founding principles, We Are All Workers hits the road with nine seminal screenings proving that everybody’s work is equally important.
I'm an internet writer. My mere existence proves that we are not all "workers," and our work is not all "equally important." But considering the Roadshow's website describes The Godfather II, the story of a ruthless crime syndicate, as a "defining immigrant worker story," I probably shouldn't get too hung up on the logic behind the text.
But what the event lacks in well written copy, it more than makes up for with these awesome redesigned film posters by artist Olly Moss. Enjoy. (First Showing)
See the posters after the jump…
Hope you RSVP'd.
Bloody Disgusting has posted the Piranha 3D footage that got the film booted from Hall H at this year's past Comic-Con. Upon reviewing it, I can understand why the Comic-Con HMFICs wouldn't want to screen it for the family-friendly convention. A woman in a bikini gets bifurcated by a wire cable, half of her suit top falling off before half of her torso does. And that's just the beginning of the over-the-top bloodshed. Skip to the 3:15 mark to watch annoying tourists get their just desserts. …In the butt.
Check out red-band clip after the jump…
Screen Junkies and Break is hosting a screening of the new film Middle Men Tuesday at 4:30PM in Los Angeles, and we're inviting you! That's right. YOU! 25 people plus a guest can be the first to see the movie, which chronicles Jack Harris, one of the pioneers of internet commerce, as he wrestles with his morals and struggles not to drown in a sea of conmen, mobsters, drug addicts, and pornstars. Don't pretend like you aren't intrigued by all of those subjects.
After the screening, I will moderate a Q&A with producer Chris Mallick, whose story inspired the film.
To attend, all you have to do is be one of the first 25 people to follow Screen Junkies on Twitter and tweet your enthusiastic response. Check out the red-band trailer to whet your appetite.
I'll save you all a seat in the best section of the theater.
It was the greatest B-Boy orgy in recent memory.
Here are your weekend links.
What To See This Weekend? (Moviefone)
Barracuda Chomps Girl's Arm, Dad Sees Awesome Photo Op (Asylum)
25 Pictures Of Biker Chicks (HolyTaco)
'Pirates 4' May Delay Release Of 'Rum Diary' (FilmDrunk)
13 Best Buddy Movies (Maxim)
Kids Are Smoking Incense Now? (BarStoolSports)
Preposterous Car Paint Jobs (EgoTV)
Paul Rudd Career Assessment: So High So Far To Fall (Pajiba)
Best Snoop Dogg Picture Ever? (Unreality)
That's An Odd Looking Dive (TotalProSports)
How (Not) To Text Girls.com (Smosh)
Snooki Arrested In The Jersey Heights With Photos (BroBible)
Hayden Panettiere Naked Pictures (CelebJihad)
'Jones Vs. Matyushenko' Live Updates (CagePotato)
Hugh Hefner Is Definitely More Than Just A Playboy (PopEater)
Watch Struck By Lightning (MadeMen)
The Captains Cup Episode 1 – Watch more Funny Videos
Let me preface this post by saying that it is not at all entertainment related. Captain Morgan' recently held the Captain's Cup to coincide with the World Cup, and Break played a huge part in spreading the word and the cheer. It's Friday afternoon and Lord knows we all have a little Captain in us at the moment, so let's take this time to watch some highlights from first night of The Captain's Cup 2010. The Captain boosts team moral and makes sure everyone is drinking plentifully. No need to tell this man twice. **Makes drunken cat call at receptionist**
The Arrested Development: The Movie of biopics, Spielberg's Lincoln, has suffered a further set-back. After years of waiting around and releasing Krakens and playing Jedi Masters and A-Team leaders, Liam Neeson is reportedly out this bitch. The formerly-attached star revealed to the UK's GMTV that he's "past his sell-by date" for the project. It's unclear what he meant by that. Either he's tired of waiting on Spielberg to get around to filming, or he's aged too much to convincingly play the part. At any rate, Spielberg can expect a receipt in the mail from Neeson for one stovepipe hat. And he'd better not dilly-dally on paying. (Digital Spy)
If you've ever watched an episode of "Mad Men" you're probably aware that the characters like to throw a few dozen back. Doesn't matter what time of day it is or what's in the glass. Scotch, whisky, moonshine, turpentine, they've downed it all. Here's a montage that mixes all of those moments together in one delicious serving. (WarmingGlow)
Almost Spider-Man Josh Hutcherson must really like money. The young actor is teaming up with "almost" Captain America Dane Cook for some sh*tty sounding horror-comedy. Detention, written and directed by Torque autuer Joseph Kahn, "centers on teens who must survive their final year of high school. Standing in their way is a slasher-movie killer who has seemingly come to life."
Hmmm, Dane Cook starring in a movie about a copycat. Go figure. (Variety)
And the winners are…
"You brought this on yourselves. Anyone else who's for Team Jacob is going down too!"
"This time everyone better sing. Ready? Ok… It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A…"
"See this authentic Requiem for a Dream Prop? Still has the stains to prove it."
"That's enough, Marvel!" shouted Ed Norton's agent, Kali sticks raised.
The winners will receive Kick-Ass on their choice of either Blu Ray or DVD.
Thanks to everyone who entered. You guys rocked Twitter with your captions.
Kick-Ass is available on Blu Ray and DVD today.
Jemaine Clement was without a doubt my favorite part of Dinner for Schmucks. You should read our review, but basically the supporting characters really keep the movie afloat. In this clip, Jemaine's eccentric artist character, Kieran, informs Paul Rudd and Steve Carell of his process. Like with most creative minds, it involves sex and death. I go through the same ordeal with every post.
Check out the clip after the jump…
Coming from the current land of Babetopia, Canada, Shay Mitchell is a great example of Western flavor meets Eastern flavor, as this hot Eurasian shows off on "Pretty Little Liars" each week. And to boot, Shy is primed for some family-friendly girl-on-girl action, as her character of Emily Fields has a big gay secret. Looks like I have a new show to DVR.
A word from Shay: "I hate dieting. Let's just say that."
The kind of girl I can share a chicken finger macaroni and cheese french fry sandwich with. I'm in love.
More pics of Shay after the jump…
Jesse not happy.
A few weeks ago we showed you the full length trailer for David Fincher's The Social Network and you loved it as much as I did (don't defy, Daddy). Now FirstShowing has dug up what is most likely a one-minute commercial airing on some channel somewhere at some point in time. It replaces Radiohead's "Creep" with Kanye West's new single "Power," you know, for the kids. I watch a buttload of TV and haven't seen it yet, but I still have a slew of "Say Yes to the Dress" episodes sitting on my DVR. Sorry, I can't attend your thing tonight. My Friday is booked.
Check out the spot after the jump…
Lizzy Caplan is returning to the world of underrated cable comedy. Deadline reports that she's teaming up with Will Ferrell and Adam McKay to develop the dating disaster memoir "I Don't Care About Your Band" into a comedy series for HBO.
Based on the sh*tty dating experiences of comedienne Julie Klausner, "I Don't Care About Your Band" will star Caplan as a young woman who dates man-boys perpetually. Whether they be hacky improv comedians or callow would-be rockstars. What that means is we'll most likely see Caplan wrapped in dinosaur-print bedsheets while asking, "Where is this relationship headed?"
Director: Aaron Schneider
Cast: Robert Duvall, Bill Murray, Sissy Spacek
Synopsis: A movie spun out of equal parts folk tale, fable and real-life legend about the mysterious, 1930s Tennessee hermit who famously threw his own rollicking funeral party… while he was still alive.
Little-known Hollywood funfact: Andy Serkis is 3-feet tall.
The first set pic from Rise Of The Apes has made its way online showing James Franco and Freida Pinto walking along with Andy Serkis. Not entirely certain what is going on in this scene, but it seems that James Franco's character is trying to impress Pinto by taking his helmet-wearing brother to Chuck E. Cheese. Just kidding. Of course this is Serkis in a mo-cap suit for his performance as the chimp Caesar in the upcoming film. It really does look like a still from Rain Man or "How's Your News?" though. (JustJared)
See the full pic after the jump….
While Sylvester Stallone may have ruled out Rambo V, he certainly hasn't ruled out another film involving the iconic character. In an interview with Empire, Stallone left the door for a prequel wide open.
"I certainly think this is worth pondering," was his response. "It's intriguing to find the whys and wherefores of how peope have become what they are. The traumas, the loss and the tragedy of being in Vietnam would certainly be a great challenge for a young actor, and it would be ironic that Rambo directs younger Rambo having played it for twenty years plus…"
I, for one, would love to see Rambo's backstory developed into a feature-length film. But in order to get people interested, there has to be a twist. For example, what if Rambo's psychotic tendencies stemmed not from his service in Vietnam, but rather from an ill-fated childhood field-trip to J. Edger Hoovers' office?
Jennifer Lopez…in happier times.
With the departure of Ellen Degeneres from "American Idol," Fox has some big, sensible shoes to fill. And it looks like they'll be filling those shoes with Jennifer Lopez's giant ass.
Deadline is reporting that Lopez signed a secret deal to replace Degeneres sometime last week. However, producers are still looking for a replacement for Simon Cowell. Rumor has it that the reanimated corpse of Aerosmith front man Steven Tyler is the frontrunner. As you probably remember, Tyler killed himself after recording "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" for the Armaggedon soundtrack back in 1998.
Personally, I think the two are a perfect fit. Lopez will bring back the washed-up singer vibe perfected by Paula Abdul, and Tyler's beastly face will allow viewers to snicker and crack jokes, helping to fill the meanness void that will result from Cowell's departure.