"Get your own elder-porn!"Universal is eager to put Jason Bourne back on screens but have had some difficulty churning out another amnesia spy thriller. In the three years since The Bourne Ultimatum was released, they've tried to no avail to get a script. Director Paul Greengrass has cut and run and taken Matt Damon with him. So what does a studio do in this situation?If you said "reboot in 3D", you're almost right and there's a job waiting for you at Sony. In the case of Bourne however, the studio may be biding their time with a prequel according to Matt Damon. "There'll probably be a prequel of some kind with another actor and another director before we do another one. Just because I think we're probably another five years away from doing it – we've got to get a script. If you have any ideas, call Universal. They'd love for you to get in touch!"That could be pretty cool actually. We'll get to see Jason Bourne in his spying and parkouring glory. This two big questions though; a) how young will they go? And, b) how do we keep Channing Tatum far away from this project? (Empire)
I'm only going to show you this if you promise to be good. Below is a video containing the first four minutes of the final season of LOST. I feel no need to offer a SPOILER ALERT!!! because I've already made it clear this is the first four minutes of the sixth and final season. If you can't wait until this Tuesday at 8/7c on ABC then go ahead and watch now. But you have to promise to keep your sh*t together after. I don't want this little taste to get you jonesin' for more that simply isn't in supply.
Someone decided to "turn" a tad prematurely. Here are your weekend links.25 People Kicked in the Nuts (HolyTaco)A 1/2 Rotation Backflip Can be Painful (TotalProSports)Hot Girls in Mirrors Make Great Photographers (TheChive)Lessons We've Learned from Gambling Movies (Moviefone)8 Wettest & Wildest Videos (Maxim)Farther Down the Juggalo Rabbit Hole (FilmDrunk)Where the Wild Sopranos Are (Manofest)10 Most Indelible Characters of the Last 100 Years (Pajiba)"Pants on the Ground" Singer Found Dead (CelebJihad)You Cannot Beat the J.J. Abrams Board Game (Unreality)Best Videos of the iPad Backlash (Asylum)8 Rejected iPad Prototypes (RegretfulMorning)6 Best Beer and Grub Combos (MadeMan)Will Hamlin's Injury Affect His 2010 Season (AllLeftTurns)
"Did you just place a LATKA in front of me?" Mel Gibson does crazy well, both on screen and off. Our friends over at Moviefone were tolerant enough to scour through all of his rants and compile them in to one neat little tirade. It's only the movie stuff though, so don't expect much anti-semitism or disrespect towards female police officers. Such comments are only reserved for real life.
"Hmmm… you kind of look like a greyhound when you take your shirt off." Maybe I was too hard on She's Out Of My League the last time I wrote about it. Probably not but maybe. The red band trailer has inserted itself into the warm, fleshy pocket that is the Internet and rubbed a few laughs against its walls.For the most part, it's what we've already seen; nerdy guy obtains seemingly-unobtainable girl and his friends and family are dicks about the whole thing. However, the new scenes added indicate that this movie is a lot more inventive than the cheaply cranked-out Road Trip: Beer Pong or American Pie Presents cinemabortions. Some people say adding "f*cks" for funny is just a crutch. I say hobble on over here. I may have to give this one half of a half of a chance. Early ruling: two out of five Eugene Levys (note: Eugene Levys are not good awards to receive). Check out the NSFW trailer here.
The graphic novel The Losers has transmovieafied its way to the big screen and today we have the trailer. It's the standard elite team of emissaries are betrayed by Jason Patric plot. But it looks like it could be fun. It borrows a good deal of its charm from The Italian Job and the Ocean's films and rests that on the shoulders of a cast comprised of rising stars. Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Idris Elba, and a nerdy Chris Evans (and his mind bullets) have a great rapport. This looks like it will either be a modest hit or a fun but forgettable mid-season film. Not all of the jokes hit in this trailer. For instance, after Elba successfully blows up a SUV with a homemade rocket launcher, he exclaims, "I'm the black MacGuyver! BlaGuyver!!" We'll never see a black MacGuyver in our lifetimes. MacGuyver's love of ice hockey makes that an impossibility. (MSN) Watch the trailer after the jump…
Lucy Lawless is best known for her role as Xena the Warrior Princess, the ass kicking hot chick who may or may not have been a lesbian. Although she's done lots of television and film in her career, the image of her in her warrior skirt, beating the crap out of stunt men in ancient Greek attire, will forever be stuck in my head.A word from Lucy: "I have less and less control and I'm more disinhibited every day."Put on your Warrior Princess garb, walk down the streets of Hollywood, and cut the head off of any person who rubs you the wrong way. It's really the only way to deal with that crowd.Maintain control as you check out more pics after the jump.
The Muppet Gang leisurely rushes Kermit to the hospital. Flight of the Conchords co-creator James Bobin has been given the go-ahead to direct Disney's New Muppet Movie, he just has to decide if he wants to play with dolls all day. The choice could prove to be a difficult one considering Judd Apatow is also tugging on Bobin's sleave to direct his new movie Bridemaids, written by awkward-character-playing SNL cast member Kristen Wiig. "What to do, what to do?!" screams Bobin's conscience. One would think Bobin would like to dive head first in to Apatow's bouncy castle of go-to guys, but taking the reins of a Muppet Movie written by Jason Segel and Forgetting Sarah Marshall director Nicholas Stoller could give his feature career the soft, furry kick in the pants it needs. With Bobin et al manning The Muppets, we're sure to get something more edgy than pies in the face and spinning bowties on bears. But I'm not expecting hot pig-on-frog action either. (Vulture)
We're through the looking glass here, people. Caligula director Tinto Brass has announced that due to Avatar, the technology now exists to film a Cleveland Steamer in stereoscopic 3D.The Italian erotic director plans to "revisit an abandoned project about a Roman emperor that was ruined by Americans, and go from there." It's obvious that Brass has sour grapes (hehe) with his Caligula partners, who added hardcore sex scenes without his consent to the famously terrible film. The movie was so bad in fact, that Roger Ebert referred to it as "sickening, utterly worthless, shameful trash," and "the worst piece of sh*t I've ever masturbated to." Just because we have the ability, doesn't necessarily mean that we should use it. As technology burgeons, this debate will continue and deserves considerable thought. We need to be careful how we move forward as a society with cloning, stem cells, nuclear weapons, and the illusion that a vagina is squirting directly at you. (THR)
A new poster for Hot Tub Time Machine goes beyond the red band trailer to reveal the secret of time travel. Scientists are going to kick their own asses in the balls when they see how simple the formula was all along. Using simple algebra, one combines energy drink, vodka, and a squirrel. Add that to four mismatched friends and divide the sum by a hot tub.Let's sincerely hope those components do not actually unlock space and time. Ted Nugent probably has a hot tub and more than likely he's tripping over crunk juice and squirrels. I don't want to imagine a reality where he has traveled back through time and become our overlord. He'll hunt us all. (EW)
Mel Gibson has been working on a documentary entitled Wiggly Piggly: The Jimmy Kimmel Story. It looks like The Passion of the Christ, but with more ice cream. That was my biggest complaint about that movie. Not enough ice cream.(BuzzFeed)These links are delicious a la mode. 25 People Punched in the Face (HolyTaco)Step in to the Octagon with Carina Damm (TotalProSports)#1 College Woman on the Web (TheChive)Defense Corporations: The New Supervillain (Moviefone)Aussie Tennis Babes (Maxim)Lindsay Lohan to Play Topless Ho (FilmDrunk)Pooping in Outer Space (Manofest)10 Best Movies of 2010: A Prediction (Pajiba)Mila Kunis GQ Magazine Outtakes (CelebJihad)10 Amazing Japanese Video Game Commercials (Unreality)2010 Nominees for the Robot Hall of Fame (Asylum)Will You Get Laid on Valentine's Day? (RegretfulMorning)Dating Out of Your League (MadeMan)A Few Moments with Ned Jarrett (AllLeftTurns)
Somewhere Kevin Smith smokes wistfully.After 31 years of bringing groundbreaking, original films and the Scary Movies to a national audience, independent film studio Miramax will shutter its doors. The New York and LA offices will close today and 80 staff members will be dismissed.In other news, J.D. Salinger passed away today at the age of 91.File photoThe famous author and recluse would have taken particular joy in seeing a movie studio closed. It's a shame he didn't hang on a little bit longer to enjoy this moment. Though I guess it's for the best. The smile frozen on his corpse would really freak out all the little ones at his wake. (The Wrap)
The world sure has changed since the 1980's. Gordon Gekko sees this first-hand, as he is released from prison in the teaser for Oliver Stone's Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps. It seems that black people are now permitted to be passengers in limousines rather than being relegated to the role of sass-mouthed driver. Greed has been legalized. Text-projected-unnecessarily-on-face technology has grown by leaps and bounds. As has cell phone technology as Gekko learns in a wink-wink That 80's Show-inspired bit. Also, Brand from The Goonies appears to have done pretty well for himself. Seriously though, if only Michael Douglas knew somebody of Welsh descent with ties to T-Mobile. Dude's in need of a nationwide 3G network with flexible contracts like whoa. Check out the trailer, and Douglas's Zack Morris phone, after the jump.
Chyler Leigh played the She's All That Rachael Leigh Cook character in the parody Not Another Teen Movie. Now she's playing Grey's little sister on that show women like called Grey's Anatomy. Is it just me, or does Ellen Pompeo have a weird lookin' face? Kind of a gnarled lip? No?A word from Chyler: "I watched She's All That at least 15 times."That's how many times it takes to fully comprehend that Freddy Prince Jr. can't act his way out of an American Crew pomade container.Look at the pics after the jump at least 15 times.
Charlize Theron and David Fincher are teaming up to develop the book "Mind Hunter: Inside the FBI's Elite Serial Crime Unit," into a series for HBO. The show is shedding the marblemouth title and sticking with the more simplistic Mind Hunter. Not to be confused with Renny Harling's crap-terpiece Mind Hunters, starring Christian Slater and LL Cool J.The book, by John Douglas and Mark Olshaker, recounts Douglas's experience as a top FBI investigator of serial killers and rapists and his profiling techniques. So it's essentially an HBO version of CBS's Criminal Minds. The main difference being this version will have swears and no soap actors. This isn't a bad idea at all. Fincher and Theron both have proven track records, and there's no way this show will give any serial killers the edge in the War On Killing People. If there's one thing that movies have taught me, methodical serial killers HATE complex games of cat and mouse. It's right up there with sending menacing letters to newspapers on their list of dislikes. (Collider)
MacGruber Set Full of Hotties – Watch more Funny VideosThe one thing about MacGruber, there's a whole lotta hotties with bodies on set. Don't believe me? Check out this behind the scenes footage narrated by the film's director Jorma Taccone. He's quick to point out all the dirty tail struttin' around the premises. Some people give it up so easily. No self-respect. (TVSquad)
If you say Zac Efron really fast, it sounds like the name of a pharmaceutical. Like, side effects of Zacefron may cause jazz hands. But that's besides the point. The point of this article is that the High School Musical, Me and Orson Welles star is trying the action genre on for size.In Fire, Efron plays a college student recruited by the CIA to work as an assassin around the world. Things get complicated when he learns that NAMBLA has set their sights on him he himself may be targeted for assassination. That's an intriguing premise and Brian Michael Bendis, the writer, has a sharp style so let's hope this will be more Bourne and less Agent Cody Banks. We won't know for sure until we can safely say that Corbin Bleu has been barred from the set. (Deadline Hollywood)
Quigley Trailer Stars Gary Busey as a Dog – Watch more Funny VideosThis movie actually exists. Quigley stars Gary Busey as a cold-hearted, dog-hating billionaire who dies and is reincarnated on Earth as a Pomeranian that has an affinity for video games. BUY IT NOW.These links also exist.25 Funny Tombstones (HolyTaco) Shirts Optional in the Blackhawks Party Limo (TotalProSports) Even More Hot Girls on Facebook (TheChive) It's Okay to Play with These Bond Girl Barbies (Moviefone) 21 Awesome Jelly Bean Portraits (Maxim) The Darker Side of Siskel & Ebert (FilmDrunk) 20 Unfortunate CAPTCHAs (SuperTremendous) Ten Worst Movies of 2010 (Pajiba) Jen Aniston Hiding in Brad Pitt's Bathtub (CelebJihad) Top 5 Movies Based on SNL Sketches (Unreality) Bikini Vegemite Wrestling Gets Messy (Asylum) 6 Woman Who Equal First Date Disaster (RegretfulMorning) All the iPad Info You Require (MadeMan) Why Denny Hamlin's Injury is a Good Thing (AllLeftTurns) Abrams Tank Explodes Suspicious Car (NothingToxic) Buy Apple's iFreak Before It Sells Out (Atom)
Kim Jong-il look-a-like/actress who scared the crap out of six-year old me, Zelda Rubinstein, has passed away. The actress, best known as Tangina in the Poltergeist films, was taken off life support two months ago after two major organs failed her. She eventually succumbed to these ailments earlier today at the age of 76. Tragically, another victim to the rumored Poltergeist curse. It just won't stop until it has Craig T. Nelson in its icy clutches. (Radar)
I did saber toothed tiger fangs 'cause they're funnier. Leave the room if you got a problem.Sam Worthington, who must have made a pact with the Devil to achieve his current "it" status, has signed on to play the "it" vampire in Dracula Year Zero. The film, which is being directed by Alex Proyas (he worked with Nic Cage so we should be good), explores the origin of Dracula in a tragic love story chalk full of love and war shrouded in homoerotic nuance no doubt.Worthington already played a cyborg and an alien, he'll soon be seen as a Greek hero in Clash of the Titans, and now he can add a cape and widow's peak latex cap to his costume drawer. I'd say he's about as versatile an actor as Gary Oldman.As Vince from FilmDrunk would say, "That tastes like a burn."(LatinoReview, THR)
Keanu Reeves has signed on to star in Gabriele Muccino's Passengers, a date-rape love story with a sci-fi bent. Set in the future, Reeves is a member of a crew on board a spacecraft making a 100-year trip to a new planet via cryogenic sleep. 10 years into their journey, he is woken up and doomed to spend the rest of his life on the craft. So what does he do? Well, when fapping gets old he commits the ultimate dick move and wakes up the hottest chick with the hope that she'll want to join the 200,000 Mile High Club with him. But will she want to knock moon-boots once she finds out it was he who woke her? Not if she doesn't find out.We got our hands on an exclusive script excerpt. Check it out:
KEANU REEVES is reluctant to wake up the HOT CHICK. He lightly taps on her cryotube. It gets louder and louder. KEANU Hey… you up? Hey. (beat) You up? (longer beat) HEY!!! HOT CHICK awakes. KEANU Oh, hey. You’re up.(Variety)
Ashley Judd is best known for two things (no, not those two things): being a member of a famous country-singing family, and starring in bad thrillers, usually alongside Morgan Freeman. Now she's battling wits with The Rock in The Tooth Fairy. Nice career move…A word from Ashley: "Those born-and-bred, feisty Kentucky girls—they are the ones you have to look out for. We have sugar and fire in our blood."Those sparkly Twilight vampires love sugar/fire blood. They can't take their blood straight like real men. Check out more sugar/fire combos after the jump.
Mace Windu does not participate in jazz hands.Not content with his many accomplishments in the worlds of film and technology, George Lucas has his eyes on a new prize: to sieze the Sh*ttiest Musical Crown from the producers of Nine. Lucas is reportedly producing a top-secret computer-generated musical about fairies.Yeah. Fairies.Nothing is known about the probably-queeeeer plot except that David Berenbaum (Elf, Spiderwick Chronicles) will be writing, with Kevin Munroe (TMNT) overseeing the direction to ensure the results are totally SPEC-TAC-U-LAR. Lucas could not be reached for comment because a cat is still digesting in his neck-sack. (THR)
Admit it. There are times in the back of your mind when you want the good guy to lose. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes the star is a just a gigantic wuss who deserves total failure. Here are some that we believe are worth mentioning. 16. Special Agent Starling vs. Hannibal Lecter Eat people, listen to classical music, break out of prison. Repeat. And he killed the principal from Boston Public (everybody wanted to do it; he got there first). Special Agent Starling just ran around and tried to get people out of basement dungeons. Nice work, but there’s no money in it. Plus, I tried Chianti with fava beans. It’s pretty kick ass. 15. Llewelyn Moss vs. Anton ChigurhTry this just once for a job interview. Before you’re called into the office, just fire blast off the doorknob with a CO2 tank. Walk in slowly.
Conan is back at NBC. Kinda sorta. Less than a week after his last appearance as host of The Tonight Show, the network has picked up a pilot from his Conaco production company. The show, previously known as Justice, is an hour-long drama that revolves around a Supreme Court Justice who leaves Capitol Hill to start his own law practice. There's no word whether or not a big-chinned rival judge was the reason the protagonist jumped ship.I'm holding out hope that this goes to series and Masturbating Bear guest stars in an episode that centers around a public indecency case. That's the least you can do for us, NBC. (Variety)
Woman Faints On Price Is Right – Watch more Funny VideosI free trip to Minneapolis and a Ford can be overwhelming.This links might make you dizzy.25 Animals with Their Heads Stuck (HolyTaco)Marathon Winner Pukes at Finish Line (TotalProSports)An Awesome a Day Keeps the Doctor Away (TheChive)Jessica Alba Gets Victimized (Moviefone)11 Celeb Comic Books That Actually Exist (Maxim)Insane Clown Posse Made a Western (FilmDrunk)21 Amazing Unibrows (SuperTremendous)Dave and Leno the Early Years (Pajiba)AnnaLynne McCord Must Be Cold (CelebJihad)10 Badass Super Mario Track Mixes (Unreality)Latest Rumors on Apple iTablet (Asylum)Stages of Douchebaggery (RegretfulMorning)Luxury Custom Bedrooms (MadeMan)NASCAR Haiti Relief (AllLeftTurns)
File this one under: What Took So Long?RadarOnline.com has discovered that nude photos of Jersey Shore's JWoww are being shopped around to media outlets. The photos show JWoww (aka Jenni Farley), and those silicon bulbs attached to her chest, posing topless with a small wrap around her bottom. The photographer made the strange choice of shooting the pictures with moody lighting against a brownish backdrop. I'd have assumed that the pics would be taken in front of an Italian flag or that rustic wallpaper they have up at Olive Garden. Guess she's saving that for her Hustler spread. (RadarOnline)
It's a regular 'ol third dimensional bonanza, and Warner Bros. is hot to trot! 3D conversion tests on Clash of the Titans have made studio execs go pee-pee in their pants, so not only are they going forth with a conversion of the entire film, but they're also turning both parts of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows into eye-puncturing 3D.3D conversion expenses have lowered in price, now ONLY $5 MILLION, so the films won't cost more than a small Malibu bungalow to convert. The studios will also absorb an additional $5 million to provide theaters with the awesome glasses that constanstly slip down your face while you're trying to watch the g.d. movie. Maybe they can throw another $2 mill in there to add some nose pads.Warners will push the release of Clash of the Titans one week to April 2 in order to fine tune the depth of Liam Neeson's kracken. (THR)
In December, we had a look at the trailer for Knight & Day, the punny-titled action-comedy starring Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. Yesterday, photographers in Long Beach, CA snapped some set photos so apparently the film is not yet in the can. Filming should be finished soon though considering it opens in theaters July 2nd.I'm not entirely sure which scene they were working on yesterday but from judging the photos, I can extrapolate what went down…(Faded Youth via Cinema Blend)
Kristen Bell is almost thirty years-old and could still pass for a teenager. I don't know what kind of salves, or balms, or lotions she's rubbing on her skin, but I would gladly apply it for her. If she can tolerate Russell Brand, surely I won't be a problem. A word from Kristen: "I have the mouth of a sailor."And the face of an angel. I mean…your body is f*ckin' slammin'! Could you understand that better, little Miss. Potty Mouth? Sailors and seamen alike can salute more pics after the jump.