"Yous is gonna have to bring up dis situation with mys attorneys."Another example of why the rest of the world hates America has been filed at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office today, and wouldn't you know it, it involves The Jersey Shore. Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is so fond of his washboard abs that he's looking to get them trademarked. The application was filed by "The Situation's" older brother Marc "The Enabler" whose Las Vegas firm operates several porn websites. Of course that's what he does. OF COURSE.Another application has been filed by a man named Matthew Hunter who would like permission to stamp the moniker on t-shirts, underwear, track suits, and vagabond children. I'd like to just shout out a big thank you to all who are trying their damndest to proliferate stupidity. It's my only hope that Snooki jumps on the bandwagon and trademarks her amorphous bodytype. There has to be a pasta sauce company out there that's willing to take a chance on pint-sized guido. (SmokingGun)
Though he's currently busy Oscar shoe-in being and We Are The Worlding, Jeff Bridges is also appearing in next winter's Tron Legacy, the follow-up to Bridges' classic sci-fi film. Today we have an alleged "first look" at Bridges in the sequel, but that's only if you don't consider the Comic-Con teaser trailer. Which is pretty cool looking by the way (posted after the jump). In the newly released photo, we see Bridges dressed as an iPod. He and Bruce Boxleitner are going to be big hits at the Boing Boing Halloween party. (Cinema Blend)
That's Lyndsy Fonseca, and she's in the new international red-band trailer for Kick-Ass. The trailer also features some new footage, a good story summary, and Chloe Moretz spouting out a particularly filthy word, but the quick glimpses of Lyndsy alone are worth the key strokes for the age-gate. If you don't watch Desperate Housewives or How I Met Your Mother than you probably are not aware of Lyndsy's winning smile, but you will be soon. I'm even considering seeing Hot Tub Time Machine so I can get a side of Fonseca with my overly broad concept comedy fix.By the way, the word Chloe (Hit Girl) says is "cock." A brain-tingling word like that and they gave it to the jail bait. Laaaaaamesville.Check out the international red-band trailer here.
Kasia Smutniak is a Polish hottie who started her modeling career at the ripe age of 15. She's been in a few movies with names I can't pronounce, but mostly she's nice to look at. Also, her last name has the word "smut" in it, and that makes me giggle because I'm stupid. A word from Kasia: "Working with people like Jon and Jonathan, it was very helpful."Did Jon let you shave his head while Jonathan braided your hair? I bet you guys did that every night when you should have been learning your lines. You scoundrels. Check out more SMUTniak after the jump.
Last we heard about Jon Favreau's Cowboys & Aliens was that original star Robert Downey Jr. was bailing in favor of talking like a British queef in the Sherlock Holmes sequel. Since that time, Daniel Craig has agreed to strap on the chaps left empty by Downey Jr.. Today comes news that Olivia Wilde has joined the cast. Probably in a sexily way, knowing her.Wilde will play Ella, a woman who joins Craig's gunslinger in the uprising against an alien invasion. Shooting is expected to begin this summer. No word yet on when the porn parody Reverse Cowgirls & Aliens will go before cameras. But we'll keep you posted. (THR)
BEST DIRECTOR SHOWDOWN This year’s Oscar nominations have been announced, which means it’s time to take the frontrunners from each category and throw them into the Thunderdome where they’ll wage…
This morning at 5:00 a.m. PST and 8:00 a.m. EST, actress Anne Hathaway arose from her hole and saw her shadow. As ruled by the laws of nature, this required her to announce the nominees for the 2010 Academy Awards.Avatar and The Hurt Locker lead the charge with nine nominations apiece. What are the chances that a divorced couple would be competing against one another for Hollywood's top prize? That just gave Nora Ephron an idea for a film. Someone get Julia Roberts and Philip Seymour Hoffman on the phone! Amanda Seyfried will play the daughter.Rounding out the super-sized category for Best Picture are: District 9, The Blind Side, A Serious Man, Inglourious Basterds, An Education, Precious, Up and Up in the Air.CHECK OUT THE FULL LIST OF NOMINEES AFTER THE JUMP
I don't think Spike TV is even trying anymore, you guys. In an obvious ploy to lure Juggalo viewers, they've announced that they have picked up the six-episode series Bloodied Midgets Half Pint Brawlers. The series, billed as Jackass meets Little People, Big World, (or sh*t meets fart, by me) documents a traveling band of little people as they hop from ring to ring beating the crap out of themselves. This is a wonderful opportunity for advertisers. I don't want to tell them how to run their business, but the makers of size XS Zoo York t-shirts had best strike while the iron's hot. (THR)
How Michael Ian Black Makes a Childrens Book – Watch more Funny VideosThe relationship between author and illustrator can be a volatile one, especially when Michael Ian Black is the author and he thinks your drawings suck in comparison to his words. Black has just released a new children's book entitled The Purple Kangaroo, and it appears from the above video that him and illustrator Peter Brown had some disagreements on the overall style of the project. Brown only wants to seek a common ground, and Black only wants to wipe his ass with the preliminary sketches. While writing that last sentence I realized that both of these men have surnames that are colors. The colors of most poop. For that reason alone they should get along.These links are very accommodating.25 Hilarious Storefronts (HolyTaco) Coach Throws Ball at Player's Head (TotalProSports) 5 Oscar Longshots We're Rooting For (Moviefone) Day of the Dolphin is a Movie That Exists (FilmDrunk) Punch-Face of the Week: Jay Hieron vs. Joe Riggs (CagePotato) People Dressed as Simpsons, Family Guy, and South Park (Unreality) Porn Star Gives an S&M Tutorial (Asylum) Nic Cage's Magical Mystery Hair (Maxim) Michael Jackson's 3D Grammys Tribute (SuperTremendous) Olivia Wilde in Italian GQ Magazine (CelebJihad) 10 Most Egregious Oscar Snubs of 2010 (Pajiba) 25 Sexy Motivational Posters (TheChive) Terry the Bi, Bi-Polar, Polar Bear (Atom) How to Be a Spy in a Week (MadeMan) Biggest Off-Season Rumors of 2010 (AllLeftTurns)
"I'm gonna get you so good, Sam Worthington." Up until now, all the materials we've seen from Clash of the Titans have focused mainly on Liam Neeson's permed beard, monster-fighting, and the Monsters of Rock soundtrack. The new international trailer offers a change of pace by taking a breath to set up the plot of the movie. It seems that the mortals have drawn the ire of Hades so naturally it's statue-tumbling time. To make matters worse, the humans rebel against the Gods which provokes Zeus to the point where he's forced to use his shockwave fist-slam (that's how you know when he's pissed). Then, it's all out war and Gemma Arterton shows up to act stalkery. After that, it's mainly what we've seen before: Sam Worthington fighting the Starship Troopers bugs, an Orc, that monster from Pan's Labyrinth, and those angel-monsters that were out-of-place in Max Payne. And, of course, it closes with Liam Neeson releasing his Kraken. Seriously Liam, quit whipping that thing out all the time. Check out the trailer after the jump.
Remember in Ong Bak 2 when Tony Jaa vaulted off an elephant's face in order to kick a guy extra hard (footage here)? How do you top that? With more elephants, stupid. And this time dress them up. Audiences like it when animals think they're people. The trailer for Ong Bak 3 has arrived. I'm not totally sure about the film's plot specifics (or if it has one), but I can tell you that Tony Jaa is going to kick dudes' asses in ways you never thought possible. For instance, in the trailer he uses his own groin to smack a guy in the face. Imagine how bad you would feel if a dude beat you senseless using his donger as a weapon. I didn't know that could be done. Is d*ckboxing a thing? (Film School Rejects) Watch guys get knocked off elephants after the jump…
Dancin and Breakin Predators – Watch more Funny VideosFirst there was the Predator Rap, and now those wily aliens have gone and put a dance routine together. Even with all the armor these Predators can pop and lock like a crew with true cred. Lionel Douglass -AKA- Big "D" is a member of the original Don Campbellock dance group the "Lockers." He is also the creator of this ridiculous display. Never have Predators looked so unintimidating.
DIRECTOR: Tony JaaCAST: Tony Jaa; Saranyu Wonggrajang; Primrata Dechudom; Nirutti Sirijanya; ElephantsSYNOPSIS: The legend of Ong Bak 3 begins after Tien (Tony Jaa) has lost his fighting skills and his beloved stepfather at the Garuda’s Wing cliff from the raid led by Jom Rachan (Saranyu Wonggrajang). Tien is brought back to life with the help from Pim (Primrata Dechudom) as well as Mhen (Petchai Wongkamlao) and the Kana Khone villagers. Deep into the meditation taught by Phra Bua (Nirutti Sirijanya), Tien finally is able to achieve ‘Nathayut’. His talents are put to the test again when his rivals including the Golden-Armored King’s Guard (Supakorn ‘Tok’ Kijusuwan), the mysterious killers in black, and Bhuti Sangkha (Dan Chupong) return for the final massive showdown.
Annie Wersching is from my hometown of St. Louis, Missouri, so that automatically makes her awesome. We do breed some fiiiiiiine women in the Show Me State. I have yet to figure out if it's due to Budweiser replacing the drinking water.A word from Annie: "Acting gave me the opportunity to do outrageous things."Hmmm, when Googling Annie I came across no spicy pictorials or mentionings of nude scenes. If she's going to say she's done outrageous things can a brotha at least get a lingerie spread?The pics after the jump will leave you wanting.
Anticipation for the sixth and final season of LOST is reaching a fever pitch. Fans of the show are surely planning viewing parties for tomorrow night's premiere (kinda messed that I wasn't invited). If you are among the many eager to see what happens this season on Craphole Island, ABC has a little treat for you. In addition to the first 4 minutes of the season premiere, ABC has lifted the embargo on new footage. So instead of showing us a whole lot of nothing, they've lovingly crafted this slick trailer from brand new footage. Have a glimpse at what the fates have in store for all of your favorite characters and Sayid. And please reconsider not having me in your home for your viewing party. I promise not to giggle during the love scenes this year. (SL Lost)FIND THE ANSWERS AFTER THE JUMP…
In the upcoming film From Paris with Love, John Travolta brings back one of Hollywood's favorite archetypes – the "Loose Cannon."ScreenJunkies thought it would be best to bring in a psychologist to analyze our favorite loose cannon partners.
"Get your own elder-porn!"Universal is eager to put Jason Bourne back on screens but have had some difficulty churning out another amnesia spy thriller. In the three years since The Bourne Ultimatum was released, they've tried to no avail to get a script. Director Paul Greengrass has cut and run and taken Matt Damon with him. So what does a studio do in this situation?If you said "reboot in 3D", you're almost right and there's a job waiting for you at Sony. In the case of Bourne however, the studio may be biding their time with a prequel according to Matt Damon. "There'll probably be a prequel of some kind with another actor and another director before we do another one. Just because I think we're probably another five years away from doing it – we've got to get a script. If you have any ideas, call Universal. They'd love for you to get in touch!"That could be pretty cool actually. We'll get to see Jason Bourne in his spying and parkouring glory. This two big questions though; a) how young will they go? And, b) how do we keep Channing Tatum far away from this project? (Empire)
I'm only going to show you this if you promise to be good. Below is a video containing the first four minutes of the final season of LOST. I feel no need to offer a SPOILER ALERT!!! because I've already made it clear this is the first four minutes of the sixth and final season. If you can't wait until this Tuesday at 8/7c on ABC then go ahead and watch now. But you have to promise to keep your sh*t together after. I don't want this little taste to get you jonesin' for more that simply isn't in supply.
Someone decided to "turn" a tad prematurely. Here are your weekend links.25 People Kicked in the Nuts (HolyTaco)A 1/2 Rotation Backflip Can be Painful (TotalProSports)Hot Girls in Mirrors Make Great Photographers (TheChive)Lessons We've Learned from Gambling Movies (Moviefone)8 Wettest & Wildest Videos (Maxim)Farther Down the Juggalo Rabbit Hole (FilmDrunk)Where the Wild Sopranos Are (Manofest)10 Most Indelible Characters of the Last 100 Years (Pajiba)"Pants on the Ground" Singer Found Dead (CelebJihad)You Cannot Beat the J.J. Abrams Board Game (Unreality)Best Videos of the iPad Backlash (Asylum)8 Rejected iPad Prototypes (RegretfulMorning)6 Best Beer and Grub Combos (MadeMan)Will Hamlin's Injury Affect His 2010 Season (AllLeftTurns)
"Did you just place a LATKA in front of me?" Mel Gibson does crazy well, both on screen and off. Our friends over at Moviefone were tolerant enough to scour through all of his rants and compile them in to one neat little tirade. It's only the movie stuff though, so don't expect much anti-semitism or disrespect towards female police officers. Such comments are only reserved for real life.
"Hmmm… you kind of look like a greyhound when you take your shirt off." Maybe I was too hard on She's Out Of My League the last time I wrote about it. Probably not but maybe. The red band trailer has inserted itself into the warm, fleshy pocket that is the Internet and rubbed a few laughs against its walls.For the most part, it's what we've already seen; nerdy guy obtains seemingly-unobtainable girl and his friends and family are dicks about the whole thing. However, the new scenes added indicate that this movie is a lot more inventive than the cheaply cranked-out Road Trip: Beer Pong or American Pie Presents cinemabortions. Some people say adding "f*cks" for funny is just a crutch. I say hobble on over here. I may have to give this one half of a half of a chance. Early ruling: two out of five Eugene Levys (note: Eugene Levys are not good awards to receive). Check out the NSFW trailer here.
The graphic novel The Losers has transmovieafied its way to the big screen and today we have the trailer. It's the standard elite team of emissaries are betrayed by Jason Patric plot. But it looks like it could be fun. It borrows a good deal of its charm from The Italian Job and the Ocean's films and rests that on the shoulders of a cast comprised of rising stars. Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Idris Elba, and a nerdy Chris Evans (and his mind bullets) have a great rapport. This looks like it will either be a modest hit or a fun but forgettable mid-season film. Not all of the jokes hit in this trailer. For instance, after Elba successfully blows up a SUV with a homemade rocket launcher, he exclaims, "I'm the black MacGuyver! BlaGuyver!!" We'll never see a black MacGuyver in our lifetimes. MacGuyver's love of ice hockey makes that an impossibility. (MSN) Watch the trailer after the jump…
Lucy Lawless is best known for her role as Xena the Warrior Princess, the ass kicking hot chick who may or may not have been a lesbian. Although she's done lots of television and film in her career, the image of her in her warrior skirt, beating the crap out of stunt men in ancient Greek attire, will forever be stuck in my head.A word from Lucy: "I have less and less control and I'm more disinhibited every day."Put on your Warrior Princess garb, walk down the streets of Hollywood, and cut the head off of any person who rubs you the wrong way. It's really the only way to deal with that crowd.Maintain control as you check out more pics after the jump.
The Muppet Gang leisurely rushes Kermit to the hospital. Flight of the Conchords co-creator James Bobin has been given the go-ahead to direct Disney's New Muppet Movie, he just has to decide if he wants to play with dolls all day. The choice could prove to be a difficult one considering Judd Apatow is also tugging on Bobin's sleave to direct his new movie Bridemaids, written by awkward-character-playing SNL cast member Kristen Wiig. "What to do, what to do?!" screams Bobin's conscience. One would think Bobin would like to dive head first in to Apatow's bouncy castle of go-to guys, but taking the reins of a Muppet Movie written by Jason Segel and Forgetting Sarah Marshall director Nicholas Stoller could give his feature career the soft, furry kick in the pants it needs. With Bobin et al manning The Muppets, we're sure to get something more edgy than pies in the face and spinning bowties on bears. But I'm not expecting hot pig-on-frog action either. (Vulture)
We're through the looking glass here, people. Caligula director Tinto Brass has announced that due to Avatar, the technology now exists to film a Cleveland Steamer in stereoscopic 3D.The Italian erotic director plans to "revisit an abandoned project about a Roman emperor that was ruined by Americans, and go from there." It's obvious that Brass has sour grapes (hehe) with his Caligula partners, who added hardcore sex scenes without his consent to the famously terrible film. The movie was so bad in fact, that Roger Ebert referred to it as "sickening, utterly worthless, shameful trash," and "the worst piece of sh*t I've ever masturbated to." Just because we have the ability, doesn't necessarily mean that we should use it. As technology burgeons, this debate will continue and deserves considerable thought. We need to be careful how we move forward as a society with cloning, stem cells, nuclear weapons, and the illusion that a vagina is squirting directly at you. (THR)
A new poster for Hot Tub Time Machine goes beyond the red band trailer to reveal the secret of time travel. Scientists are going to kick their own asses in the balls when they see how simple the formula was all along. Using simple algebra, one combines energy drink, vodka, and a squirrel. Add that to four mismatched friends and divide the sum by a hot tub.Let's sincerely hope those components do not actually unlock space and time. Ted Nugent probably has a hot tub and more than likely he's tripping over crunk juice and squirrels. I don't want to imagine a reality where he has traveled back through time and become our overlord. He'll hunt us all. (EW)
Mel Gibson has been working on a documentary entitled Wiggly Piggly: The Jimmy Kimmel Story. It looks like The Passion of the Christ, but with more ice cream. That was my biggest complaint about that movie. Not enough ice cream.(BuzzFeed)These links are delicious a la mode. 25 People Punched in the Face (HolyTaco)Step in to the Octagon with Carina Damm (TotalProSports)#1 College Woman on the Web (TheChive)Defense Corporations: The New Supervillain (Moviefone)Aussie Tennis Babes (Maxim)Lindsay Lohan to Play Topless Ho (FilmDrunk)Pooping in Outer Space (Manofest)10 Best Movies of 2010: A Prediction (Pajiba)Mila Kunis GQ Magazine Outtakes (CelebJihad)10 Amazing Japanese Video Game Commercials (Unreality)2010 Nominees for the Robot Hall of Fame (Asylum)Will You Get Laid on Valentine's Day? (RegretfulMorning)Dating Out of Your League (MadeMan)A Few Moments with Ned Jarrett (AllLeftTurns)
Somewhere Kevin Smith smokes wistfully.After 31 years of bringing groundbreaking, original films and the Scary Movies to a national audience, independent film studio Miramax will shutter its doors. The New York and LA offices will close today and 80 staff members will be dismissed.In other news, J.D. Salinger passed away today at the age of 91.File photoThe famous author and recluse would have taken particular joy in seeing a movie studio closed. It's a shame he didn't hang on a little bit longer to enjoy this moment. Though I guess it's for the best. The smile frozen on his corpse would really freak out all the little ones at his wake. (The Wrap)
The world sure has changed since the 1980's. Gordon Gekko sees this first-hand, as he is released from prison in the teaser for Oliver Stone's Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps. It seems that black people are now permitted to be passengers in limousines rather than being relegated to the role of sass-mouthed driver. Greed has been legalized. Text-projected-unnecessarily-on-face technology has grown by leaps and bounds. As has cell phone technology as Gekko learns in a wink-wink That 80's Show-inspired bit. Also, Brand from The Goonies appears to have done pretty well for himself. Seriously though, if only Michael Douglas knew somebody of Welsh descent with ties to T-Mobile. Dude's in need of a nationwide 3G network with flexible contracts like whoa. Check out the trailer, and Douglas's Zack Morris phone, after the jump.
Chyler Leigh played the She's All That Rachael Leigh Cook character in the parody Not Another Teen Movie. Now she's playing Grey's little sister on that show women like called Grey's Anatomy. Is it just me, or does Ellen Pompeo have a weird lookin' face? Kind of a gnarled lip? No?A word from Chyler: "I watched She's All That at least 15 times."That's how many times it takes to fully comprehend that Freddy Prince Jr. can't act his way out of an American Crew pomade container.Look at the pics after the jump at least 15 times.