It's time once agin to gather round the computin' box and gather some freshly-branded casting news. YAWWWWW!!!!FAST FIVE – will be gaining one Ludacris and one The Rock according to Twitter all-star Tyrese Gibson. “Major shouts to Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, & Dewayne [sic] “Rock” Johnson!! “Fast & Furious Five” Let’s get em again!!” Yes. He misspelled The Rock's name but please keep in mind, he typed this with his ab muscles. Impressed, now? (Collider)RISE OF THE APES – has cast Brian Cox to play a villianous dean general Robert McKee owner of a primate research facility. When reached for comment, James Cromwell said, "Aw, dammit." (/Film)MONEYBALL – "Parks and Recreation" shoeshine man, Chris Pratt, will spend his hiatus from the show portraying a catcher whose hurty elbow leads him to become a batting phenom. Just like Rookie Of the Year (note: nothing like Rookie Of the Year.) (Collider)
Nicolas Cage was a guest on "Late Show with David Letterman" last night to promote The Sorcerer's Apprentice, and wouldn't you know it, he told a drug story. Back in the day, Cage kept psychedelic mushrooms in his fridge like we keep milk and deli meats. His cat loved the shrooms and would frequently indulge, so Cage often tripped the light fantastic with it. There's more to the story, but I don't want to harsh your mellow. Check the clip out yourself. (TVSquad)
Christopher Nolan’s Inception is released this Friday, and despite the publicity, I could not tell you its plot to save my life. I hear it is about Cobb (Leo Di Caprio) who is able to invade people’s dreams. So, it sounds a lot like the Nightmare on Elm Street series, without the puns. Also, if I am to believe the trailers, most people in the future dream about cities folding up on themselves. If that’s the case, my dreams about becoming a half-cat/half-man driving an ice cream truck should protect me from psyche-criminals. Here are a few of my favorite dream sequences that are generally forgotten about (or undervalued).
I can kind of see it around the eyes.You may listen to the Lost Highway soundtrack on repeat or enjoy Mulholland Drive for reasons beyond Naomi Watts's chest, but you're not a true fan of David Lynch until you have his face printed on your stylish tote bag. And Lynch is giving you the opportunity to do just that. Anyone who donates $50 to the production of his upcoming documentary Lynch Three, can win a limited-edition print of the director's self-portrait on a poster, tote bag, or T-shirt.Onto the self-portrait itself. I'm a little disappointed by it. I know that art is subjective and Lynch has proven himself time and time again in the creative world, but it looks like it belongs on Regretsy. Why isn't this sculpted out of steak, or printed on dead skin? At least tell me the pen he used to draw it was involved in a stabbing. Give me something here. (via Cinema Blend)
Stop staring at my chest!Comic-Con attendees hoping to see a topless woman for the first time are in for a real let down. Event organizers have rejected footage from the film Piranha 3D because there were too many boob shots, according to Comic-Con's PR director, David Glanzer. "My understanding is that the footage wasn't all ages appropriate," Glanzer told HitFix. "We don't check ID to get into those meeting rooms, so we don't want something inappropriate." That's all fine and good, but answer me this: at what age is it "appropriate" to sit in on a panel discussion titled A Leap Of Faith, A "Quantum Leap" Retrospective, or Kiss Them or Kill Them? Conflict Management for the Creatures Among Us? Clearly, half the crap at Comic-Con is inappropriate for people of all ages. Why pick on Piranha 3D? (Dread Central)
Mom, it happened again.Haley Joel Osment is back from his third tour in Afghanistan (I assume that's where he's been for the past three years), and he's just signed on to a project that doesn't sound too awful.In Sex Ed, Osment will play a recent college graduate hired to teach algebra. But through a series of wacky misadventures (crippling budget cuts), Osment's character ends up teaching a sex ed class. The only catch is that he's a virgin. Those who can't do, teach.The film was written by Billy Kennedy and will be directed by Isaac Feder. It will be viewed by me and maybe Haley Joel Osment's mom, if she's not out spending that Sixth Sense money. (Empire Online)
Dexter Morgan is an unstoppable killing machine. And what better way to fight an unstoppable killing machine than with America's favorite insatiable law-and-order cyborg? No, not Vincent D'Onofrio.Peter Weller, the star of the classic 80's sci-fi film Robocop has joined the cast of "Dexter: Season 5." According to Dread Central, he will appear in eight episodes, and will play a "troubled" Miami Metro police officer, as if there's any other kind.While there's no mention of the character of Robocop, I'd be surprised if they didn't use him in some capacity. The show never came right out and said that John Lithgow was supposed to be the character of Dr. Dick Solomon from "3rd Rock from the Sun." But once he dropped the C-Bomb at Thanksgiving dinner, everyone knew it was him.
MEL GIBSONS PSYCHO CALL TO GIRLFRIEND OKSANA GRIGORIEVA – Watch more Funny VideosPlease listen to Mel Gibson's psycho call to Oksana Grigorieva, the mother of his baby daughter. It's lengthy by internet standards, but I promise the entire eight minutes will grab hold of you like Mel Gibson would if you were a minority in a windowless room alone with him. If you didn't think Mel was batsh*t crazy before, you need hear nothing more than his primal panting to change your opinion.Shake off the verbal abuse with these links.Hooters Swimsuit Pageant Winner Video (TVSquad)Some Women Shift Sexual Orientations (Asylum)25 Hilarious Cheerleader Fail Videos (HolyTaco)Hollywood Accounting Explained (FilmDrunk)10 Awesome Predator Tattoos (Maxim)The Search for New England's Best Ass (BarStoolSports)10 Cartoon Cereals That Sadly No Longer Exist (EgoTV)Your Favorite Directors Aren't Box Office Hits (Pajiba)20 Awesome Retro Movie and TV Lunch Boxes (Unreality)German Celebration Fail (TotalProSports)20 Cool Fan Art Marios (Smosh)10 Real Jobs to Work Alongside Hot Chicks (BroBible)Miley Cyrus Shows Her Behind (CelebJihad)Shinya Aoki is the Biggest Douche in Japanese MMA (CagePotato)Spencer Pratt Has No Place to Live (PopEater)Private Ninja Lessons (MadeMan)
What? No snarky Goth?? They may have reneged on "Weird Al" but it looks like The Cartoon Network is still very much in the spoof business. Last night, during an episode of "Children's Hospital," a preview of the upcoming action series "National Terrorism Strike Force: San Diego: Sports Utility Vehicle." Or "NTSF: SD: SUV" for short(er). The action series stars Paul Scheer as a Jack Bauer/David Caruso hybrid, and Rob Riggle as a general/terrorist or something. I think what we should all focus on here is the fact that the team employs a rocket launcher-touting chef. Not enough shows have that. Check out the preview after the jump….
Two weeks ago on "True Blood": Another body showed up, head missing. Sookie went to a werewolf bar with a cool werewolf (Alcide). Bill agreed to help the King of Mississippi screw over the Queen of Louisiana. Sam's redneck family got plastered on chick drinks at his bar. Jason contemplated a career in law enforcement. Tara f*cked the mysterious new vampire in town (Frank). Frank blackmailed Jess. Sam's brother tried to rob him. Bill mutilated Lorena's body while he fucked her in some weird-ass kinky vampire sex. This week starts with Sookie cleaning Alcide's wounds. He whines. She flirts. Bill calls. He's like, "Sookah, I can no longah handle the gap in your teeth. We’re through." Lorena is smirking in the background, so unfortunately she survived Bill's hate f*ck.MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
So inappropriate for a little kid. It's three sizes too big.
Check out "Cool Dad."Phew! Looks like we'll get a sequel to The Ghost Writer afterall. That was a close one. Government officials in Switzerland have decided to free Roman Polanski after seven months of house arrest. The Swiss had planned to expedite the famed director to the U.S. where he would serve a prison sentence for drugging and raping a 13-year old girl in 1977, but have now declined to do so because of a fault in America's application for his extradition.Great. Way to drop the ball, guys. There's no way he's going to fall for the whole we want to give you a lifetime achievement award again. Now our only option for capturing him is to dress Dog the Bounty Hunter as a schoolgirl, and drop him in the Alps. It's a crazy plan, but right crazy is the best hope we've got. (NY Times)
Paramount has snatched up an untitled pitch that turns Victor Hugo's classic "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" into an action/comedy. The novel, published in 1831, "is set in the 15th century and centers on the tragic romance between Quasimodo, the deformed bell-ringer of the Notre Dame cathedral in Paris, and the gypsy woman Esmeralda."Disney already brought cripples to children's attention with the animated version of The Hunchback in 1996. Not only did Quasi land the girl, but he had a voice like a nightingale. In an action/comedy take, the pairing of "deformed bell-ringer and gypsy" will be the new "criminal disguised as cop and cop in need of making a big case." They should just remake Blue Streak instead. It's been eleven years already. (Variety)
Monica Bellucci has been the gorgous Italian babe to haunt many of mens' dreams ever since sucking Keanu Reeves's blood in Bram Stoker's Dracula. Catch her in the upcoming Disney flick The Sorcerer's Apprentice playing a sexy sorceress that will move the next generation of young men to puberty.A word from Monica: "My body is so important to me… I use everything I have."Your body is so important to us too. We'd like to run a diagnostic test if possible. More examples of why I love Italy so darn much after the jump.
I believe the first part.Michael Bay is delivering his wrath upon Chi-Town. The Chicago Tribune put together an extensive gallery of pics from the set of Transformers 3, which is currently filming around LaSalle Street in downtown Chicago. The term "Windy City" gets a whole new meaning as natural gusts are replaced with violent releases of pressure from the many explosions Bay will set off around the area. Some are for the movie, others are just for shits and giggles.Check out video and more pics from the set after the jump…
When David Gordon Green picked up the rights to Taking Flight: The Hunt For A Young Outlaw, it was uncertain how the story would end. As of today, we have that resolution. After a three year manhunt, Colton Harris-Moore was finally captured by police in the Bahamas after stealing a plane, crashing it, leading authorites on a high-speed boat chase, before engaging them in a shoot out. How metal is this kid? I wouldn't be surprised if he somehow escaped by switching faces with a federal agent.No word yet on who will play Harris-Moore aka The Barefoot Bandit aka The Shoeless Asshole in Green's adaptation, but we'll keep you posted when Danny McBride, Adam Scott, Aziz Ansari, James Franco, Will Ferrell, and Nicolas Cage inevitably join the cast. (AFP)
The other day I had the opportunity to speak with comedian and actor JB Smoove about his current and upcoming projects, his unique approach to stand-up comedy, and a way…
No shoes on the couch please. Here's a sexier, red bandier look at George Gallo's Middle Men. I'm guessing this trailer exists for anyone skeptical that the movie would feature F-bombs and boobies. Upon reviewing this footage, I can say it most certainly does. As well as some housewives with bigger things on their minds than light dusting. And perhaps hottest of all, Kevin… Pollak… FAPPING. Now that I've piqued your desire to a fever pitch, I won't waste anymore of your time with words. ON TO THE SWEET, SWEET IMAGES AFTER THE JUMP…
Here's a rumor from the "so stupid it might be true" department. “Reliable sources” are claiming that rapper Joaquin Phoenix, who actually started out as an actor, may replace Ed Norton as the Incredible Hulk in The Avengers.On Friday, Marvel started a war of words, claiming that it dropped Norton from the project in order to find "an actor who embodies the creativity and collaborative spirit of our other talented cast members.” Given that description, is Joaquin Phoenix really the guy you want?Don't get me wrong; I don't doubt the creativity of a man who's spent the past year looking like a drug-addled version of Judge Roy Bean. But considering he can barely make it through a one-on-one interview with David Letterman, does Phoenix really "embody" the "collaborative spirit" you're looking for? Well, does it, Marvel? ANSWER ME? (Cinema Blend)
Meeee-ow! Looks like we've got ourselves a good old-fashioned catfight! Except instead of two hot women scratching and clawing, we've got an agent from William Morris pissing and moaning about some dork at a comic book company. Actually, that doesn't sound like a catfight at all. It sounds a whole lot sexier! On Friday, Marvel announced that Edward Norton, who clashed with the studio during the making of The Incredible Hulk, will not be part of The Avengers. The press release stated that the decision was not monitary, but was instead “rooted in the need for an actor who embodies the creativity and collaborative spirit of our other talented cast members.” For those of you who don't speak Hollywood, that roughly translates to "go f**k yourself, you insufferable twit." Not one to take things lying down, Norton responded like any other red-blooded male, and quickly had his agent, Brian Swardstrom, issue a strongly worded rebuttal. Swardstrom attacked Marvel head on, using big words like defamatory, mean spirited and accusatory. That's right, accusatory! I haven't seen a war of words like this since Biggie and Tupac. If cooler heads don't prevail, I fear someone might get their glasses broken, or maybe even work themselves up into an asthmatic frenzy. (Collider) Read the strongly worded letter from Edward Norton's agent in its entirety after the jump.
Seeing dollar signs in all things faaaaaaabulous, Universal is moving forward with a film adaptation of the Broadway musical hit Wicked. The movie will take the Wicked Witch of the West back to high school, where she is terrorized by the popular Glinda the Good Witch.The studio is taking meetings with a few directors, ranging from the awesome to the willing to make this kind of movie. First up, The potential directors are JJ Abrams, James Mangold, Rob Marshall, and "Glee's" Ryan Murphy. I really don't see Abrams hopping aboard this one due to his busy schedule of not sucking. The other three seem more well-suited for the material, given their experience with bringing musicals to film. I did notice that Universal has seemed to overlook Adam Shankman. He's probably sitting somewhere crying his eyes out over this snub. But in all fairness, he cries while watching "The Bachelorette." (Deadline)
A cartoon supervillain easily defeated all challengers in this weekend's box office showdown, making short work of vampires, werewolves and even alien predators.Despicable Me dominated, pulling in $60.1 million from 3,476 theaters. In its second weekend, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse brought in an impressive $33.4 million, taking second place, while Predators came in third, taking in $25.3 million during its big-screen début.Typical. This could only happen in Hollywood. In real life, the Predators would easily destroy everything in their path, and the vampires and werewolves would have no problem with a cartoon supervillain. It wouldn't even be close. Now if you'll excuse me, mother needs to check my browser history to make sure I haven't been looking at pictures of naked women. As if! (Coming Soon)
Holy crap, Saturday is jam-packed. Thursday and Friday are bringing the events as well, but Saturday makes them look like booths at an interior designer convention. We're talking Green Lantern, Captain America: The First Avenger, Thor, Sucker Punch, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Let Me In, Resident Evil Afterlife, Paul, Cowboys & Aliens, and on the TV side, "Futurama," "The Simpsons," "Community," "Family Guy," and "LOST" for some reason. I'm going to have to find a secret nook in Hall H to avoid the madness of standing in line. I'm not saying I'll be inside the baby grand piano, but just don't look there.Check out the Saturday highlights after the jump.
I'd say he took the news rather well.Marvel Studios recently gave Edward Norton a polite f*ck off by informing the actor they wouldn't need him to reprise his role of The Hulk in the upcoming The Avengers movie to be directed by Joss Whedon. The studio is looking to cast an unknown, a.k.a. someone they can pay with turkey sandwiches. According to HitFix, this wasn't Norton or Whedon's idea, as the pair had recently shared their enthusiasm with Marvel about Norton returning. Norton even cleared out his day planner for the project, using puffy Hulk stickers to mark the dates he'd need open for shooting.This news doesn't come as much of a surprise considering Marvel is notorious for dumping actors in favor of the almighty dollar. They probably figure they've already got Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Samuel L. Jackson, Chris Hemsworth, Don Cheadle, and Jeremy Renner, so people are going to get their asses to the theater whether Norton's in it or not. Also, during the making of The Incredible Hulk, Norton and Marvel butted heads over almost every aspect of the film. Maybe the studio is just trying to prevent the same from happening on The Avengers. Joss Whedon would put Norton in a coma with that alien-like cranium of his.
Not everyone's having such an awful time.Here are your weekend links.10 Things I Learned from 'Freaks and Geeks' (TVSquad)Legalizing Plot Will Greatly Reduce Its Price (Asylum)25 Pictures of Hot Beach Volleyball Chicks (HolyTaco)Former Porn Cameraman Shares His Tales (FilmDrunk)9 Greatest Stripper Pole Fails (Maxim)New England's Best Ass (BarStoolSports)9 Historical Figures Who Could Survive a Predator Attack (EgoTV)Will Arnett Career Assessment (Pajiba)Lego Street Shootout Will Blow Your Mind (Unreality)Tour de France Fighting (TotalProSports)Celebrities Caught Pooping (Smosh)Woman Dies from Vibrator-Induced Orgasm (BroBible)Lindsay Lohan's Prison Survival Guide (CelebJihad)Bobby Lashley Wants Fedor Next…Seriously (CagePotato)Hear Mel Gibson's Latest Racist Rant (PopEater)How to Bar Fight Like an MMA Fighter (MadeMan)
If you loved playing Contra back in the day then you're definitely going to dig this new arcade game based off the upcoming The Expendables. The music alone instantly transported me back to my wood-paneled basement and tube television.You can play as Barney Ross, Lee Christmas or Yin Yang in full 8-bit glory. Beat the game as Yin Yang to unlock Bonus Mode for a chance to see alternate endings and easter eggs. Make it onto the Top 10 All-Time High Scores list for official Expendables swag from Lionsgate and Break. If you have some time to kill, kill some rebels using characters with limited mobility. Shooting up, down, forward, or diagonally is all you get, and it's nostalgically awesome.Check out the game HERE. All you have to do is hit the "Like" button and you're on your way.
Thank you Internet. Thank you for all that you do.We've got even more X-Men: First Class casting news to share today. Earlier in the week, we learned that Beast and Banshee had been cast. Today, we have news that actor/master sculptor Kevin Bacon is in talks to play the film's as-of-now-unrevealed villian.But who will Bacon play? I hate not knowing. Will he be some dickhead general, or a self-hating mutant with the power of invisibility and radical dance moves? Too soon to tell, though online chatter and speculation has him playing Mr. Sinister, a powerful mutant who gains his abilities by stealing others' "genetic material." Sick, dude. Just like that director-marrier Milla Jovovich. (Deadline)
HBO's Martin Scorsese-produced, Terence Winter-created Steve Buscemi as a bad ass gangsta Prohibition drama series will debut Sunday, September 19 at 9PM. Buscemi plays "the undisputed ruler of Atlantic City and town Treasurer, Enoch “Nucky” Thompson, who is described as “a political fixer and backroom dealer who is equal parts politician and gangster and equally comfortable in either role." Check out the trailer here. I've already set a series recording on my DVR.
First we were graced with the man smacks montage, and now we have men crying. I'm uncertain about all these displays of emotion from the male gender. I was always told to keep that stuff way down deep inside of you until one day you can't take it anymore and you buy a Porsche. (Vulture)
Clappin' all night in this bitch.Thanks to better than expected DVD sales, richy-richerson James Cameron is set to earn $350 million dollars from Avatar. That's a record breaking number for a director to make from one film, and well over a thousand times more than what a blogger can earn annually for writing pithy articles about movie-making on the Internet. But that doesn't matter to me. It's really my passion for Photoshop that keeps me going.The $350 million figure far outpaces the $97 million that Cameron earned for Titanic. That number will climb, of course, when he re-releases a 3D version of Titanic later this year (after re-releasing Avatar). We need a new term to accurately describe that amount of money. It's not f*ck you money, it's f*ck the continent of Asia money. (Deadline)