When it was first announced that Conan O'Brien would embark on a live tour as a means around NBC's cock-blockery, my first thought was "Awesome!" Then my second thought was, "Don't bring your guitar. Don't bring your guitar. Don't bring your guitar." Today the giant comedian wrote on his Twitter:“Hey Internet: I’m headed to your town on a half-assed comedy & music (GODDAMNIT-Ed.) tour. Go to http://TeamCoco.com for tix. I repeat: It’s half-assed.”We've got the full list of tour dates after the jump but I've got to say, I'm kind of disappointed. Tickets for the Radio City Music Hall dates cost between $44 and $84 BEFORE Ticketmaster rapes your wallet with hidden fees and bullsh*t additional charges. Conan's funny and all but if I want to see a Masturbating Bear, I can probably do so for free in the West Village. (Team Coco)FIND OUT WHEN CONAN'S COMING TO YOUR JERKWATER TOWN AFTER THE JUMP…
He's being discreet about it.Not the most surprising of news, but Christopher Walken is now dabbling in the severed hand business. In Martin McDonagh's play A Behanding in Spokane, Walken is currently playing a psychotic one-handed man in pursuit of the appendage he lost 47 years earlier. Of course, the lines of reality and fiction have blurred for the actor, and when he would normally shout for more cowbell, he's now shouting for more hands.Walken is hoping the production will gift him with hands that he can keep in a special "souvenir" room he has set up in his house/dungeon. Not one person has seen the inside of this room and lived to tell about it. It was once believed that Natalie Wood accidently stumbled into it while looking for the bathroom, but she never revealed her findings. We all know how Walken took care of that… (Vulture)
Emilie de Ravin is best known for her role as Claire on Lost, and saying "Chawwwliee" in a really annoying tone of voice. She's a sexy Aussie though, so she gets more slack from me than I usually reserve for people who yell words strangly.A word from Emilie: "If you are lucky enough to find the right friends and places to hang out on, there are fantastic pockets in L.A."Especially at the corner of Hollywood and Vine. The hookers are extremely cordial.You're lucky enough to get more pics after the jump.
Leonardo Da Vinci the Italian painter, sculptor, architect, musician, scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, geologist, botanist, and writer may be able to add another credit to his list of accolades — action hero. Due to the success of Sherlock Holmes, studios are buying up treatments that turn lieterary and historical figures into kick-butt do-gooders. Warner Bros has picked up a treatment called Leonardo da Vinci and the Soldiers of Forever, a re-imagining where Da Vinci is a member of a secret society who “falls headlong into a supernatural adventure that pits the man against Biblical demons in a story involving secret codes, lost civilizations, hidden fortresses and fallen angels.” Wow. And we all thought Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was retarded. Maybe this isn't a trend that we want to over-do. Kids are already bad at school and this will not help. But if we must continue down this path, can we please credit the man who did it first and did it best? Of course I'm talking about "Weird" Al Yankovic. The man is a visionary. (THR)
The new trailer for Robin Hood proves it's a tough business stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. Robin from da Hood, played with convincing mean-face by Russell Crowe, trots his way into Nottingham and says, "Nuh uh" when he witnesses how a despotic sheriff is treating his peeps. So he does what any other man in tights with a bow and arrow would do: he finds other men in tights with bows and arrows and forms a merry gang. Together they fight a smooth-headed Mark Strong, a formidable foe as Sir Godfrey, as Robin from Da Hood tries to get in Maid Marian's (Cate Blanchett's) panties. All of this is a lot more epic and romantic than I'm describing it, but you get the gist. Look folks, Ridley Scott directed the damn thing. You know what to expect. My words can't do sweeping wide-shots justice. Check out the new trailer after the jump. Robin Hood storms into theaters May 14, 2010.
Hilarious The Grudge Prank – Watch more Funny VideosThe last guy pranked is a punkass b*tch.Don't let these links getchya.Remembering Corey Haim (Moviefone)70 Awesome Chuck Norris Facts (Asylum)Oscar's Kanye-Woman Speaks Out (PopEater)25 Visual Puns (HolyTaco)The Big Lebowski Morality Continuum (FilmDrunk)Five Awesome Oscar GIFs (Unreality)Can You Resist the Gina Carano Lip-Bite? (TotalProSports)Girls in Tubs (Maxim)11 Signs You Had Too Much to Drink Last Night (Smosh)Corey Feldman Found Alive (CelebJihad)Tips for Mastering Your Ultimate Fighter Audition (CagePotato)5 Actors Who Need Themselves an Oscar (Pajiba)Straight Cop, Gay Cop (Atom)Own a Jetpack (MadeMan)LOL Race Pics (AllLeftTurns)
Jude Law gets his organ worked on. A red band trailer for Repo Men has been released, and for a movie centered around organ removal, it doesn't disappoint. You get Jude Law removing organs, Forest Whitaker removing organs, and a team of doctors… removing organs! The only person who isn't reaching into an orifice is Liev Schrieber, the reason being his hands are perpetually unsterile. How Naomi Watts stands it, I'll never know. Check out the entrails-filled red band trailer after jump. Disclaimer: it's bloody.
The adage 'time waits for no man…' was kicked in the teeth and taught to be less impatient with the news that Chuck Norris is celebrating his 70th birthday today. That's right. Seventy years and nine months ago today, the bearded sperm that would form Chuck Norris round-housed into an ovum and conceived the toughest man this world will ever know. Ryan, Oklahoma remains a crater to this day.In honor of the sacred day, his family plans to throw him a "know party" because you can't surprise Chuck Norris. If he were to throw it himself, it would circle the Earth and land at his heels. Happy Birthday, Chuck!
Timothy Olyphant loves himself some westerns. First he squared off with Ian McShane on the HBO drama Deadwood, and now he's back as gun-slinging U.S. Marshall Raylan Givens in the FX show Justified. Let it be known, his character only draws his weapon when he has to, and when he does, he shoots to kill, because, as he sees it, that's the purpose of a gun. That, and looking totally badass in front of your elementary school friends.I honestly can't see this show being unworthy of my time. It stars Timothy Olyphant and Walton Goggins from The Shield a.k.a. the best show ever, is adapted by Graham Yost, the creator of the stellar cancelled NBC show Boomtown, from an Elmore Leonard short story, and is on FX, quite possibly the most badass network on television. The only thing that would make FX more badass is if it were holding a gun. Get on that, Rupert Murdoch. Check out the behind the scenes featurettes after the jump. Justified premieres on FX next Tuesday, March 16 at 10PM ET/PT.
Jasika Nicole plays the lab assistant to Joshua Jackson's batshit crazy father in the FOX television show Fringe. She is also an illustrator and has created an autobiographical online comic called "High Yella Magic." I'm unaware if centers around tripping the light fantastic. A word from Jasika: "It's been almost three years since I learned how to ride the subways without getting lost or getting stuck in the closing doors." Awww, you poor, poor dear. When that started happening to Grandma my Pa sent her off to a farm. I'm pretty sure that means he shot her. Respect Jasika for her body AND her mind after the jump.
"Okay, Scarlett. You're good. Fellas, could you take eighteen huge steps back?"Yesterday's reports that The Office's John Krasinski was the frontrunner to play Captain America have been debunked. Obviously. Have you seen his hair? It's clearly not cool enough.So which muscle-y jerk is gonna play this guy? The list we reported on has been whittled down and a couple of names have been added. Producers are still keen on Tron Legacy's walking haircut Garrett Hedlund, though he has yet to test for the part. Mike Vogel is joined on the list by Chris Evans and Generation Kill's Wilson Bethel (aka who?).The role was expected to be cast by March 1st and has obviously run into some problems. The options in America are pretty bland and we can't just pop an Australian in the suit like we usually do. Stan Lee has really backed us into a wall with this whole America thing. (THR)
(Relax, it's apple juice.)The more slurry half of the Coreys has passed away. Corey Haim was found dead this morning after an apparent overdose of prescription drugs. TMZ reports that he collapsed in front of his mother just before 1 AM and was reported dead a little over an hour later after being rushed to the hospital.Haim rose to fame as a 1980's teen heartthob in such films as Silver Bullet, Lucas, The Lost Boys, License to Drive, and Dream a Little Dream. Problems with drug addiction led to a career spiral though he is said to have rehabilitated himself in 2004. He was seen most recently in A&E's The Two Coreys and Crank: High Voltage. He was 38. (TMZ)
Following in the footsteps of Brian Dennehy and Craig T. Nelson, Robert De Niro has signed on to play an iconic coach in the ESPN Films biopic Lombardi. Arguably the greatest coach in NFL history, Vince Lombardi led the Green Bay Packers to two Superbowl and five league championship wins. I should also mention dude could burp the entire alphabet… backwards. Doesn't sound too impressive to you, but in Wisconsin that is a godlike ability.The film, to be written by Eric Roth (Forrest Gump), will focus on the 8 years that Lombardi spent with the Packers, molding them into NFL champs. Very little time will be spent on his epic belching. (THR)
Nick Swardson Screen Junkies Shout Out – Watch more Funny VideosWe caught up with Nick Swardson on the set of his new Comedy Central sketch show. More on that in the future, but right now Nick gives us a creepy shout out.Here are today's links. 10 Most Ridiculously Mismatched Movie Couples (Moviefone)A Woman's Perspective on Cheating (Asylum)Heidi Montag Says No To Plastic (PopEater)25 Inappropriate Children's Books (HolyTaco)How To Write a Romantic Comedy (Uproxx)15 Best Pics of Christina Hendricks (Unreality) Capitals Alexander Shoutout Fail (TotalProSports)Women of Spring Training (Maxim)15 Fearless Streakers (Smosh)Ben Roethlisberger Claims He Was Sexually Assaulted (CelebJihad)Jim Miller Talks UFC 111 (CagePotato)Felicia Day to Fight Werewolves (Pajiba)Pregnant Hotties Do The Bump 'n Grind (Atom)Red Bull Art of the Can (MadeMan)New Gran Turismo 5 Demo (AllLeftTurns)7 Bad Phone Habits You Need to Stop (RegretfulMorning)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine's Sabretooth wants you guys to know that he'd really like to be in the sequel. At a press conference for Repo Men, Liev Schreiber told reporters that Hugh Jackman has told him about the script but he's not sure if he'll return (though he really wants you guys to know that he totally would if asked)."I just had dinner with [Hugh Jackman] last night and Hugh read the first draft of the script and I was really excited about it. It's still not clear whether or not Victor will be present in the Japan storyline. In the Japan storyline as I remember it from the Wolverine comics, Victor wasn't there. So I don't know, of course I've got my fingers crossed because I love the character so much, to have the chance to do it again would be a lot of fun, but I'm not sure."So, was Hugh Jackman trying to rub it in his face or what?HUGH: Oh, mate. The new Wolverine script is excellent. Too bad you won't be a part of it. Terrific stuff.LIEV: Oh man. That sucks. I guess I'll just have to stay home and bang Naomi Watts for four months.HUGH: Yeah, that's cool too. I s'pose. If you're into that sorta thing.(via io9)
Gerald McCullouch of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation was arrested for public urination last week in New York and has been court ordered to undergo counseling. He tells New York Daily News:"I'd had a little to drink. So, as I was coming down the West Side Highway, I asked my cab driver to pull over so I could relieve myself. Suddenly I was surrounded by three cop cars. I said, 'Officer, at least let me finish!' But I actually learned something from the hour-long quality-of-life counselling the judge sentenced me to. Education is better than a fine." When reached for comment CSI: Miami star David Caruso said, "When you're surrounded by three cop cars, you know…. *sunglasses*…. urine trouble." YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! (IMDB)
Some might look at this new poster for The Losers and think, "Oh clever, they're assassins who just shot me and now they're standing over my body as my last breath of air escapes." I look at this poster and think, "Suck it." Zoe Saldana especially seems like she could use some servicing. Jeffrey Dean Morgan just looks gassy.The Losers centers around the members of an elite Special Forces unit sent to the Bolivian jungle on a search and destroy mission. They're gonna kick ass, take a few names, and steal the innocence of a few unlucky henchmen. Open wide, world. The Losers hits theaters April 23, 2010. (FilmSchoolRejects)
Lindsay Sloane was Maid of Honor at the wedding of Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. QUITE the accomplishment I might say. She also made an appearance on Entourage, but nothing tops standing next to Gellar as she made the mistake of marrying Fred from The Scooby Doo Movie.A word from Lindsay: "I am so incredibly hot."Whoa, pump the brakes. Clearly you're more attractive than me, but Alice Eve makes everyone else look like Alexis Dziena. More definitely worthwhile pics of Lindsay after the jump.
Beer and TV go together like hookers and blow. And since both of those are illegal AND expensive, why don't you just crack open a cold one and stroll through 8 of TV's best screen-licking brews. PAWTUCKET PATRIOT ALE
The long-awaited Tron Legacy trailer is finally here thanks to some selfless individuals (read: nuuurrdddssss!) who solved the viral puzzle campaign to unlock the trailer. It looks pretty great. I'm sure that inhaler sales just skyrocketed. The trailer opens with Bruce Boxleitner sending Jeff Bridges's cool-haired son to track down his cyber-dad in the world of Tron. What we get is a nice look at the Techtropolis that the world of Tron has become — complete with cyber-babes, cyber-ninjas, Zoolander's nemesis Mugatu, and Jeff Bridges with his cyber-Rat Pack. Missing is Tron Guy. Though it's quite possible he's hiding behind this cyber-couch, waiting for the perfect moment to steal a sniff of Olivia Wilde's cyber-hair. Check out the trailer after the jump. It's worth it for the Daft Punk track alone.
Columbia Pictures is getting serious about a second sequel to Men in Black by tossing some names of weirdos into the ring. It's believed that Josh Brolin is on board for the third film and now there are reports that they want either Brüno's Sacha Baron Cohen or Conchord Jemaine Clement for a character named "Yaz."It's not known at this time if the character will be an alien or an agent (though wouldn't he be named after a letter were he an agent?). Both actors excel at weird, broad comedic performances and would be a perfect fit in the MiB universe. Though I'm not sure about Cohen. They already did the Ballchinian thing in part two. (Bloody Disgusting)
This commercial was on air around the time A Nightmare On Elm Street 4 came out. I'm pretty sure if you called Freddy verbally sexed you up for a steep fee, but my kindergarten friends could have been lying to me.These links don't have a surcharge.Sandra Bullock's German Acceptance Speech (Moviefone)Gorillas May Eat Monkeys (Asylum)Jack From Will & Grace is Gay. DUH. (PopEater)25 Animals Humping the Wrong Animal (HolyTaco) Sandra Bullock Accepts Razzie, Gives Away DVDs (FilmDrunk)Five Reasons Why Your Wife Hates Juliette Lewis (Unreality)Marc Savard Stretchered Off The Ice After Fight (TotalProSports)Hot Girls From Hot Places (Maxim)Ultra Monster Dancedown (Smosh)Miley Cyrus Gives AIDs a Chance (CelebJihad)18 Amazing Fight Fist-Poses (CagePotato)The Most Divisive Movie in Pajiba History (Pajiba)This Is Your Brain On Avatar (Atom)The 7 People You Meet at The Gym (MadeMan)Ingrid Vandebosch Mega Gallery (AllLeftTurns)
Hold on to your fig leaves, folks, this is gonna get sinful. Walden Media and Paramount have seen the light, and the light told them the Book of Genesis would make a totally rad 3D movie with the potential of bringing in sh*t buckets full of money. The film shall be titled In The Beginning, and Cary Granat will work with Real Fx to make a 3D snake so frightening you'll be digging up your real King James Bibles.Naturally, they got John Fusco, the guy who wrote the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, to offer his take on creation. How does one go from telling a tale of abominations such as teenage mutant ninja turtles to interpreting The Bible? It's my hope he puts a fresh spin on that tired Old Testament story. Temptation comes in the form of pizza, not apples/vajayjay. Am I right, Michelangelo?They're still just in the planning stages, so hopefully this project won't come to FRUITition (rim shot, fart noise). A mighty hand will come down from the heavens and bitch slap everyone involved. This hand, of course, belonging to Mel Gibson. If you're going to exploit The Bible let's be serious and get the best. (Deadline)
Hip grandma Betty White will soon be staying up nine hours past her bedtime. People caught up with the aged star at Elton John's Oscars viewing party where she confirmed the rumors that she will appear on an upcoming episode of Saturday Night Live, though she doesn't know when. Originally, it was believed she would appear on a "Women of Comedy" episode alongside Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Molly Shannon but Lorne Michaels has shot down those reports.It's not known whether she will host or provide a cameo but White is just happy for to be a part of the confusing campaign. "I don't know why or how," says White, "but it's been wonderful." Though at the age of 88, I'm sure more than a few things confuse her. Like young women nowadays always putting their elbows on the table. Back in her day, a lady knew how to ensnare a man. (People)
John Hughes's career is in upswing after many quiet years. Sadly he's pretty dead but, much like Tupac before him, he still has unproduced work floating around out there. And the streets is hot for one of these screenplays. Grisbys Go Broke, a story about a wealthy Chicago family who lose everything and move to the country, is raising a few eyebrows in Hollywood.Paramount is rumored to be interested in producing though no official offer has been made. It would only make sense for them to acquire the project though. Last night's Hughes tribute has him fresh in everybody's minds and besides, they're making movies about f*cking bubblegum these days. At this rate we'll be lucky not to see a movie called, Hey, 'Member That Time I Farted? and its sequel, Hey, 'Member That Time I Farted Underwater?, within the next decade. (THR)
Alice Eve is my new favorite thing on the planet. That's right, I like her even more than dogs dressed up as bananas. Alice is getting her first starring role as the 10 in She's Out Of My League, but you may also know her from a little film called Crossing Over. I'm not saying you've seen the film, I'm just saying you've Googled the words "Alice Eve Crossing Over." A word from Alice: "There is an acting gene that has been passed down to me by my parents. It's nature, not nurture" There are a couple of other traits that must have been passed down as well. A couple of fine, fine traits. Check out more of Alice's good genes after the jump.
"I interrupt this speech to put my fist in my mouth!"The strangest moment at last night's Academy Awards (besides whatever was coming out of Sean Penn's mouth) was when Music by Prudence director-producer Roger Ross Williams bolted to the stage to accept the best documentary short statue. At first I thought he ran because he was seated in the nosebleeds, but it soon became clear that he was running for his life when a crazy drunk lady bum-rushed the stage. Turns out that lady was Elinor Burkett, a once-producer on the documentary who had removed herself from it over a year ago and not sitcom star Marcia Wallace as I had originally believed.Get the he said, she said from Salon after the jump.
Wheeeeew, did you guys catch that Oscar thing last night?! What a thing that was, huh? Not so much? Well if you didn't read along with our live blog while you were watching I can understand why you might not have had any fun. But hey, that doesn't mean you can't read it now and laugh your head off from the nostalgia. Last night will be a night we'll all remember for a VERY long time. Wait, a woman won something right?Check out the winners here, and read our "hilarious" live blog below! SJ Oscar Live Blog
The 82nd Annual Academy Awards have come and gone with no real big upsets. Here's a quick recap but you can also check out our live blog for a play-by-play of the night.The Hurt Locker took home Best Picture as well as snagging the Best Director prize for Kathryn Bigelow. Not to mention Best Original Screenplay for Mark Boal.Jeff Bridges finally won the Best Actor prize that has been waiting for him for his portrayal of Bad Blake in Crazy Heart.Sandra Bullock was surprised to see she edged out Meryl Streep to win Best Actress for The Blind Side.The supporting categories went to Cristoph Waltz and Mo'Nique.Though James Cameron was beat by a girl, Avatar won three prizes – Best Art Direction, Best Cinematography, and Best Visual Effects.A round of congratulations are in order for all of the winners as well as the nominees who went home empty-handed. It's a thrill just to be considered and I think we all can agree that the real loser of the night was Ben Stiller.CHECK OUT THE FULL LIST OF WINNERS AFTER THE JUMP…
This 2:30 new trailer for Iron Man 2 packs more punch than the ten hour Academy Award broadcast I just live blogged until my fingers and eyes bled. Luckily for you, I stopped the hemorrhaaging long enough to write this post. I was impressed with the first trailer for Iron Man 2, but the new one definitely sticks it in its predecessor and breaks it off. The reason for this: Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow. Can I just say, DAMN. Halfway through, she body-spins around some henchman before slamming his head in to the ground. Best way to die ever. The trailer also features more Stark, Fury, Whiplash, War Machine, and an easily foldable Iron Man suit, but no amount of CGI can trump Scarlett's magnificent naturals (James Cameron hangs his head, defeated). Check out the new trailer after the jump. Iron Man 2 hits theaters May 7, 2010.