Saw 3D (a.k.a. Saw VII) has hit the Internet, and it's about what you'd expect. If you like watching people get butchered in 3D, you'll love it. If you don't like watching people get butchered in 3D, then you're probably a god damn communist.
While this is supposed to be the final chapter in the wildly successful Saw series, I'll believe it when I see it. I thought Jason Goes to Hell would be the final chapter of Friday the 13th. But eight years later, there was Jason, terrorizing people on a spaceship. Perhaps Jigsaw will somehow visit the crew of seaQuest DSV. I hope so. That talking dolphin needs to be taken down a peg or two.
Watch the Saw 3D trailer after the jump.
It's my first time at Comic-Con. I didn't know what to expect except madness, and madness is what I got. And David Hasselhoff singing on a bus surrounded by half-naked women, but we'll get to that later. Thursday proved to be a test of the mind, feet, and senses. I saw some terrific panels, cruised the main floor, and even attended a party where Sly Stallone was given an award that looked like a bomb. It was supposed to signify his contribution to the action movie genre, but made him look like an Italian who was at his wits end with the Hard Rock Hotel.
I started the day bright and early waiting in line for the Tron Legacy panel. Sally from A Nightmare Before Christmas was also there.
Movie poster master and Frank Darabont brosef, Drew Struzan whipped up this "The Walking Dead" poster for Comic-Con. Col. Hans had better come back with stacks of these, or not come back at all.
When you're done coveting, point your eyes at these links…
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The Tron Legacy panel at Comic-Con turned nerd boner-sacks inside out with its awesomeness. For those of us who didn't meet the maximum weight requirement to attend, Disney dropped this new trailer. I haven't seen anything this sexy since the last trailer. In this one, Garret Hedlund plays Cyber-Jesus as he battles his father's Doppelganger and creations while on a mission to find his real dad. Just like me and my stepdad. You're not the king of me, Roy!!
It all looks very cool and, yes, there is a light-jet. Didn't see that one coming. Then again, I don't work for a toy manufacturer.
TRON LEGACY OPENS IN 147 DAYS, BUT YOU CAN SEE THE TRAILER BELOW.
Darren Aronofsky will open the Venice International Film Festival with his pyschological thriller Black Swan. USA Today has a first look at the film and it looks like Aronofsky didn't hold back. The visual style he's achieved in these few snapshots are elegant, mysterious, and foreboding. Natalie Portman stars as a stressed-out ballerina whose life takes odd turns after she is cast as the lead in Swan Lake.
There's a few more pictures after the jump. Though the one of Mila and Natalie seems tame. I'd much rather see other pictures of them. If you know what I'm sayin'. **suggestively bumps two doughnuts together, gets ejected from Tim Horton's**
HOT BALLERINAS AFTER THE JUMP…
You nerds wanna see a dead body? There's one over by the water in San Diego.
The sickos at Warner Bros have shipped over the corpse of Abin Sur as part of their Green Lantern exhibit. As previously reported, Abin Sur is the alien predecessor to Ryan Reynold's Lantern, who gives him his awesome power-ring. And it also makes them married. Sorry! No take-backs!!
It's said that this prop was used during filming, and the detail is amazing. What is with Ryan Reynolds and coffins lately? Between this, Buried, and R.I.P.D., dude is likely to turn into Nicolas Cage. We'll need to monitor his hairline for the foreseeable future to be safe. (/Film)
Holly Marie Combs was the sexy middle sister in the babe trio of "Charmed" for eight magical seasons. Trying to out-sexy Alyssa Milano would have required a spell of massive proportions. Holly has climbed the TV show charts over the years and now oozes MILF appeal on the new ABC Family series "Pretty Little Liars."
A word from Holly: "Your faith in yourself is all you will ever have. Don't let anyone take it away from you, ever."
I keep my faith in myself in a jar under my bed. No one will ever find it. No one..
More pics of Holly after the jump…
Copper Cab, you have been warned.
Zachary Adam Chesser, a Virginia man, has been arrested for threats he made against "South Park" creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Incensed over the show's depiction of the Prophet Mohammad in a bear costume, Chesser posted graphic images of slain Dutch filmmaker Theo Van Gogh with the warning that Parker and Stone would end up dead as well. Muslims love themselves some Prophet Mohammad and many regard any depiction of the Prophet as offensive. For the extremists, that offense is punishable by death. You should see what they do when you break the rules of Fight Club.
Chesser was prevented from boarding a flight earlier this month from New York to Uganda. It was his intention to then travel on to Somalia where he would join the terrorist organization al Shabaab. Chesser became interested in Islam in 2008, but claims to not believe in or condone acts of terrorism or violence. Unless you consider posting death threats accompanied by mutilated corpses on the Internet as a show of support. That's a gray area. (Reuters)
Working Title has optioned the superhero send-up Astro City. Kurt Busiek's comic follows the superheros, villians, and ordinary citizens of Astro City as they react to one another and the world in which they live. The characters are all archetypes of popular comic book icons like Batman, Superman, The Flash, and the Joker.
The real-world plotlines have involved a reformed supervillian trying to walk the straight and narrow, as well as a sidekick initiation. Yikes, hope it wasn't getting paddled with a stop sign. Actually, that does sound fun. Let's get that on film. (Deadline)
Star Trek's Karl Urban is expected to be offered the role of Judge Dredd in Pete Travis's gritty 3D take on the hanging judge. But I think the bigger story is that an actor would want to play Judge Dredd. I'm just playing. If early buzz is correct, Travis's take will wash the taste of Stallone's Dredd out of our mouths for good. And I, for one, am all for getting that zesty comingling of poop and piña colada off my tastebuds.
Of course, anything can happen at this point but I think Urban would be a solid choice for the role. I would normally suggest Ron Perlman but science hasn't been able to craft a helmet large enough yet. Maybe someday when technology catches up to imagination. (Bleeding Cool)
Good news for people who like things that are unbelievably awesome. Jason Segel and the team involved with the next Muppet movie recently met with the bigwigs at Pixar to discuss ways to make your head explode.
Some of the members of the so-called "Pixar Brain Trust" — filmmakers John Lasseter, Brad Bird, Pete Docter, Andrew Stanton, Michael Arndt, Bob Peterson and president Ed Catmull — were there for the consultations. Docter is a particularly avid Muppets fan, so he almost certainly was one of the attendees. On the Disney side, Muppets director James Bobin and producers David Hoberman and Todd Lieberman were likely in the room along with Segel.
While plot details are hard to come by, as long as they don't have Kermit and Fozzie experimenting with homosexuality and adopting African children, I'll pay to see it twice. And even if they did go that route, with this kind of talent behind the film, it's hard to imagine how it could end up sucking. In fact, I haven't been this excited about a film's prospects since I first heard that an unfettered George Lucas was working on a little film called Phantom Menace. (THR)
Brad Pitt is about to launch World War Z, according to the book's author, Max Brooks.
After five years in limbo, Pitt's production company is finally moving forward with the project. Using Michael Straczynski's adapted screenplay, World War Z will chronicle life in a post-apocalyptic zombie-infested universe. Pitt himself will star in the film, which Paramount has slated for release in 2012.
Having read the book a few years back, I'm excited to see it headed to the big screen. I'm not excited enough to risk leaving my heavily fortified zombie-proof apartment/command center, but I'm excited none the less. That reminds me, does anyone know how to fix a chemical toilet? Mother is complaining about the smell. (Cinema Blend)
If you’ve ever wanted to put Ryan Reynolds in a coffin, then we’ve got a trailer for you. Reynolds stars in Buried, the story of a man who wakes up…
Mel Gibson phone call rant to Old Spice guy [animated] – Watch more Funny Videos
Go easy on the man, man.
Here are your links. But first you must bl*w Mel.
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Zach Galifianakis is now the proud papa of a Thai baby.
Todd Phillips, you a sly boots. The director went on record last fall to shoot down the rumors that The Hangover 2 would send Zach Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Justin Bartha to Thailand stating that, "There's a lot of rumors. There was rumor also that it was going to Mexico or something and neither are true." A source told ComingSoon today that the production will move to Thailand this fall to begin filming. So, who's right? The director or the anonymous source? Somebody get Sumner Redstone on the case.
Whether the report is true or not remains to be seen, but I think Thailand would be a hilarious backdrop for the outrageous comedy. Think of all the comedy they'll mine out of Muay Thai kickboxing and teenage prostitution. Perhaps a Roman Polanski cameo can even be worked in.
Zack Snyder has finally agreed to make a sequel to 300. He was always hesitant to commit until he saw how Frank Miller's Xerxes comic turned out. If it wasn't awesome and didn't loan itself to unnecessary slow-motion, then it wasn't going to happen. Luckily for ab-crunching actors everywhere, Miller's comic made the grade. Snyder tells the LA Times what we can expect from the sequel:
"This movie follows Themistocles and the Battle of Artemisium, which coincidentally happens on the exact same three days as the Battle of Thermopylae [which was the basis of '300']," Snyder said. "This one starts off with a quick retelling of the why of the Persian wars. It starts off at the Battle of Marathon and then it goes back to Themistocles finding out that Persians are invading again. and off we go over to learn a little bit about why Xerxes is the way he is."
I'd always assumed he was that way because of a handsy uncle.
Seth MacFarlane has stolen the Friars Club crown and sceptre from insult king Jeffrey Ross, as Comedy Central has chosen the "Family Guy" creator to head the Roast of David Hasselhoff. The evening, which is sure to not lack in fast food-centric material, will also feature Pamela Anderson, Whitney Cummings, Greg Giraldo, Lisa Lampanelli, (a scorned) Jeffrey Ross, Jerry Springer, and Hulk Hogan. Ah yes, the wild card. There's always one of them, like Bea Arthur at the Pam Anderson Roast or George Takai at the Shatner one. I just hope Hogan is writing his own material instead of using Lampenelli's toss-outs. The jokes about black guys wanting to f*ck him won't pack the same punch. (Movieline)
Bridget Moynahan started her career with a recurring role on "Sex and the City" then turned it into a wet t-shirt contest with Coyote Ugly before hooking up with quarterback Tom Brady and making tabloid history. This former model now turned MILF is also a younger cousin of Rosie O'Donnell. Don't believe me? Look it up.
A word from Bridget: "I'm not one of those people who thinks they simply deserve success. I have the drive to work."
How taxing that must be. I savor a delicious Capri-Sun in the backseat as Mommy navigates the treacherous L.A. roads to my office everyday.
More pics of MILF Bridgette after the jump…
The rumor that Joseph Gordon-Levitt has beat out Eddie Murphy for the role of Riddler in Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight sequel has been floating around the Internet and abstinence meet-ups for a little while. Today First Showing got there hands on a casting grid that confirms the thesp may sign on to tease Batman's brain.
The grid lists the Riddler as a character appearing in the film, with Gordon-Levitt listed as "interested." Whether this will come together or not is anyone's guess. Maybe they'll need him for a G.I. Joe sequel instead. What we do learn from this is that the Riddler will show up to piss Batman off with confusing labyrinthian puzzles and traps. Think of it like Nolan's reimagining of Saw.
Director: Woody Allen
Cast: Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto, Lucy Punch, Gemma Jones
Synopsis: Unhappy people fall in and out of love in a Woody Allen fashion.
Release Date: September 22, 2010
David Fincher has got the ladies lining up. His English-version of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is gearing up for a December 21st, 2011 release date without any of its casting in place yet. Daniel Craig is up for the lead, but scheduling conflicts may have him running around dressed like a cowboy for Jon Favreau longer than anticipated. The story everyone is wondering about, however, is who will snag the role of Lisbeth Salander?
Emily Browning, Rooney Mara, Sophie Lowe, and Sara Snook have been added to the expanding list of actresses up for the part. Speculation is heavy, however, that Fincher will cast an unknown for the role. Die Antwoord singer Yo-Landi Vi$$er has also been buzzed about for the role. For reference, here is a picture of what Vi$$er looks like… on purpose.
I don't know. I like the idea of using an unknown, but Yo-Landi looks like she was designed by Guillermo del Toro. They should go with an actress who won't give the audience nightmares. (Variety)
Hey Thor fans! Have we got a treat for you! In anticipation of this weekend's Comic-Con panel, Marvel released a photo from its upcoming Thor film. In the photo, Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is using his fabled hammer (Mjolnir) to smash an evil pile of elephant sh*t.
Careful, Thor. That tank in the background looks flammable! (EmpireOnline)
You know that pug that yells Batman that I showed you yesterday? Someone put him into the actual "Batman" theme. You should love it as much as I do. Thank you, Internet!
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So basically the Comic-Con teaser posters for Captain America and Thor are awesome. If the films are half as awesome as these gritty, realistic conceptual depictions by artist Ryan Meinerding we're in for an awesome treat.
Look at Captain America up there, deflecting those bullets with his massive patriotic shield. He looks furious and hungry enough to eat a Nazi's face for lunch. Please Joe Johnston, dangle this poster in front of your face for inspiration as you direct the film. If Joel Schumacher would have done such a thing, the bat suit never would have been altered with nipples.
Check out larger versions of the posters after the jump…
"YOU'D BETTER RUN!!!!"
Mel Gibson is packing up and leaving the States now that his BJ rage tapes have been released. He's selling off his mansions for well below asking, and is heading back to Australia and his ex-wife. The same wife he left for the Russian model who exposed him as an abusive fellatio-crazed racist.
"Oksana’s allegations have united Mel and Robyn and this move is her idea. She is shocked and furious at this woman’s lies and their seven children are shocked. Robyn has never seen a violent side to him. She has persuaded him that he needs to get away from Hollywood and find peace on his ranch and she will go with him along with some of the children."
But what if he loses it again and thinks he's actually the Road Warrior? It would take ten Danny Glovers to talk him down if it comes to that. And just where are we going to find another nine Danny Glovers? (DailyMail)
From the creators of the touching drama, George, comes a new thriller featuring the "Seinfeld" gang. In this superbly edited trailer for Serenity Now, a group of close friends deal with the aftermath of a murder most foul. It's astounding how a bombastic score makes the madness in Newman's eyes glint even brighter.
Check out the Serenity Now trailer after the jump…
Today we have set photos from two completely unrelated films; Wes Craven's Scream 4 and David Koepp's Premium Rush. They're just boring enough to not warrant their own posts, while simultaneously movie-related enough to warrant me having to form an opinion about them.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
Artists Felix Meyer and Pascal Monaco took 35 movies and put them together in a minimalist fashion to create a cool "2 minute journey through the history of film." Can you figure out all the movies, 'cause I sure as hell can't. I recognized Terminator, Psycho, and a few others, but the film about eggs stumped me.
Check out the montage after the jump and leave your answers in the comments section…
Kimberly Fisher might be someone you've seen during your sleepless nights watching Showtime's after dark special "Hotel Erotica Cabo." This Alaskan native has made a good name for herself in the soft-core business, and is really moving up fast, having recently starred in "Entourage," as an uncredited 'Agent'.A word from Kimberly: "Going to school is my expensive hobby…other people play golf or collect stamps, I like to take classes."A lot of people manage to find the time to do all three of those things… More pics of school-enthusiast Kimberly after the jump…
When God saw fit to take White Chicks 2 away from us, Keenan Ivory Wayans's schedule was freed up to work on other projects (and Brittany Daniel). When not busy rehydrating, Wayans found the time to develop the comedy It Takes A Village. If greenlit, the comedy will tell the tale of a young, professional woman who decides to adopt from a third world country but must earn the blessing of the village's chief, so he and seven elders move in with her temporarily in her snooty, gated community. And I think you know what ensues from there. It's hijinx, you guys. From Wayans:
“A woman who works for a company that mines natural resources like diamonds and copper heads to a South Pacific island to meet with the tribe in control and when she gets there, she comes across a child with no parents, who won’t leave her side," Wayans told me. "When she asks who will be the baby’s mother, she’s told the village will take care of the baby until it chooses one. When the baby climbs into her lap and puts its head on her chest, she has an epiphany moment and decides she wants to be its mother… The dance of this movie is, you think these people are simple, but there’s wisdom in their simplicity and the way they deconstruct things to their simplest form. The child they’ve come to raise isn’t the baby, but rather the woman, as she prepares for the journey of being a parent.”
There's no word yet on which Wayans will play the baby.