News - Page 246

Kevin Spacey May Join Cult for Showtime’s ‘The Crux’
Wednesday, June 16 by

UPDATE: HBO, Starz, and FX are also interested in this project. Everyone wants Kool-Aid!!!Kevin Spacey wants you to drink his Kool-Aid. The actor, who doesn't do a half-bad job of portraying psychos, is in talks with Showtime to star in a series called 'The Crux', in which he would play the leader of a high-profile cult. Rod Lurie, the writer-director of the underrated jailhouse flick The Last Castle, would pen the pilot script and most likely exec-produce the series.Spacey would have to wedge the show into his already full schedule of movie roles and being the artistic director for London's Old Vic Theatre. See, this is why you never take a job at some artsy-fartsy live stageshow joint. It restricts you from doing things people care about. Oh sure, educated people adoooooore the theater, but really, who talks that much in one room? (Vulture)

‘Jonah Hex’ Actress Julia Jones
Wednesday, June 16 by

 Julia Jones may not be in the twilight of her career yet but this natural beauty from Beantown will showcase her talents in two back-to-back movies this summer, Jonah Hex as a busty prostitute named Cassie and The Twilight Saga: Eclipse as she-wolf Leah Clearwater. Not bad for a former model turned actress, who was last seen in the Tarantino flophouse Hell Ride.A word from Julia: "If you try to scowl, just for four hours straight, you will start feeling pretty pissed off. I'm not kidding."Yeah because you're scowling for four hours straight. If I'm doing anything for four hours straight I'd get pissed off. Yes, even eating nachos.More pics of Julia smiling after the jump.

Heeeeeere’s Vuvuzela!
Wednesday, June 16 by

I'm still not sure which is more annoying, the vuvuzela or Shelley Duvall. (FYeahDementia)

LEGEND OF THE GUARDIANS: THE OWLS OF GA’HOOLE
Wednesday, June 16 by

Director: Zack SnyderCast: Emilie de Ravin,Jim Sturgess, Geoffrey Rush, Abbie Cornish, Rachel TalylorSynopsis: Soren, a young barn owl, is kidnapped by owls of St. Aggie's, ostensibly an orphanage, where owlets are brainwashed into becoming soldiers. He and his new friends escape to the island of Ga'Hoole, to assist its noble, wise owls who fight the army being created by the wicked rulers of St. Aggie's. The film is based on the first three books in the series.Release Date: September 24, 2010 

‘Legends of the Guardians’ Trailer: Bigger, Longer Look At Owls
Wednesday, June 16 by

We avoided posting the teaser trailer for Zack Snyder's Legends of the Guardians because our managing editor Col. Hans Longshanks wasn't into it. But now he is, so here's the full-length trailer. I'm not sure what experience he had with owls in the interim that changed his mind, but he has been acting weird since he went to that sweat lodge. Or more accurately, the day he didn't notice the gas leak in his apartment. All in all, Guardians looks great. But be careful while watching. You may find yourself enjoying the soundtrack before you realize it's Thirty Seconds to Mars. Not this time, Leto! CHECK OUT THE TRAILER AFTER THE JUMP. IT HAS OWLS.

Tosh.0 Shows Tommy Lee Drumming On Boobs
Wednesday, June 16 by

Daniel Tosh is back as master curator of viral videos. He chooses, pokes fun at, and even parodies some of the distractions you wait for your co-workers to IM you on a daily basis. One such video that I'm sure you helped infect the internet with is the Worst Wedding DJ Ever. The guy basically plays the bongos on a woman's floppy boobies. So why wouldn't Tosh get Motley Crue drummer and known lothario Tommy Lee to reenact that? Check out Lee beating away on some "cymbals" after the jump. "Tosh.0" premieres tonight at 10:30PM/9:30c on Comedy Central.

Russell Crowe Jumps On 80′s Reboot Bandwagon With ‘The Equalizer’
Wednesday, June 16 by

Hopefully this chair was burned after the shoot. Russell Crowe is sorry and trying to atone for his violent, dangerous past by putting his skills to use helping those who need protection and/or the use of a phone. Not in real life though. Never in real life. Despite The A-Team's belly-flop onto hard concrete this past weekend, Crowe has been attached to a remake of the vengeance-for-hire series "The Equalizer." Crowe will play Robert McCall (originated by Edward Woodward), a former secret agent determined to help those in need via a newspaper ad. I imagine this will be modernized to a Craigslist ad. Because those in need certainly always have a $2,000 laptop and a costly Verizon FiOS connection. (LA Times)

‘Monster Squad’ Remake Nabs Writers
Wednesday, June 16 by

I remember it looking a lot cooler when I was eight.The much anticipated (by me) remake of The Monster Squad has come one step closer to completion with the addition of two new screenwriters. Mark and Brian Gunn (cousins, not husbands) have signed on to pen the reboot of Fred Dekker's 1987 classic.Assuming they don't totally ruin the film by going the Twilight route, it will be nice to see a vampire that wants to kill teenagers, not fall in love with them. Unless, of course, they base the Dracula character on my creepy Uncle Mike, who liked to do both. (Hollywood Reporter via Dead Central)

‘The Smurfs’ Take Manhattan: Official Picture
Wednesday, June 16 by

This film demeans us all, Papa Smurf.Sony has released the first photo from its upcoming movie, The Smurfs, and all I can say is hold on to your white, slightly phallic-looking hats! The picture depicts Grouchy, Papa and Clumsy Smurf in…get this…NEW YORK CITY!Magically transporting a fictional character into the real world can only be described as wildly original. But to go the extra mile and place them in such an obscure location goes above and beyond. I didn't even know you could film movies in New York! Of all the places for the Smurfs to end up, NYC has to be the craziest! That town moves a mile a minute! Talk about a fish-out-of-water story!The trailer for the film comes out this Thursday, but I don't need to wait until then to declare this movie an instant classic.* The only thing that could make it any better would be if they got George Lopez to do a voice. That would be tits! (First Showing)*I'm trying really hard to be less of a sarcastic prick, but holy crap, Sony! What choice do I have? Did you learn nothing from Space Jam!

MTV to Axe Four ‘Jersey Shore’ Cast Members (Not Axe Body Spray)
Wednesday, June 16 by

The oil spill destroys yet another beach.In today's economy, job security is almost non-existent. This is even true for those of us who get paid to be a raging douche bag and/or herpes spreading skank.TMZ is reporting that at least half the cast of "Jersey Shore" is facing the chopping block after MTV executives were "underwhelmed" by their performances this season. Obviously, this means there's been an overall decline in the number of teenage viewers renouncing Jesus Christ as their lord and savior, and someone at the network needs to be held accountable.The cast members in question are Lenny, Squiggy, Amerigo and "The C-Word." (TMZ)

This Guy Met Julie Andrews
Tuesday, June 15 by

Basically…in your face! (Videogum)This guy also met these links.'Psycho' Turns 50 (Moviefone)When Is It Legal To Masterbate In Public? (Asylum)Elton John Sings Praises Of 'Sweet' Rush Limbaugh (PopEater)Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, Old School-Style Video Game (FlimDrunk)Why Comedians Die Young (HolyTaco)7 Movie Theme Amusement Parks I'd Like To See Open (Unreality)20 Things You Should Never Google Image Search (BroBible)Free Diver Free Falls Into Blue Hole (TotalProSports)Most Wanted: Jenn Sterger (Maxim)The Ulitmate Fighter 11 Finale: The New Guys (CagePotato)Kim Kardashian Flashes Boobs And Butt In A Bikini (CelebJihad)Touchdown Jesus Burns! (Smosh)Respect My Authority, Please? (Pajiba)The Adventures Of Johnny B. Homeless (Atom)3D Nintendo DS (MadeMan)15 Things You Never Knew About Evel Knievel (RegretfulMorning)

Another ‘Entourage’ Season 7 Trailer With the Usual Drama and Drama
Tuesday, June 15 by

Turtle takes a hit while covered in gasoline, the dummy. Uuuuuggghhhhh. "Entourage" is coming back and it looks like "Entourage." Vince is having complications with a movie he's starring in (wank), Drama can't get work (wank, wank), Turtle's trying to be an entrepreneur (wankity wank), E's trying to find grown men's suits that fit him and getting all gaga over Sloan (wankity doo), and Ari is yelling at people about agency expansion, growth, and erections (waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank). These are what we at SJ like to call "rich man problems." Not having enough water to fill your cup of Ramen Noodles up to the indented line, that's a poor man problem. Unless your Turtle. I guess for him that could be a considered a rich man problem. The kid's gotta eat. "Entourage" premieres on HBO Sunday June 27th at 10:30PM EST.  Check out the trailer after the jump…

New ‘Goldeneye’ Game Headed to the Wii This Holiday Season
Tuesday, June 15 by

Back in college, we played so much Goldeneye that my friend instinctively ran off the basketball court during a big game because he noticed a blue backpack that resembled the game's body armor in the bleachers. Now, a new version of the game is making its way to the Wii and it looks amazing, and Daniel Craig-y. My college friends have all scattered, so I'll need to round up three willing competitors. I think I'll ask my building's security guard. I bet he's good with a gun, and at spying on people in the bathroom. There will definitely be a "No Oddjob" rule in effect. He always aims for the kneecaps and that's just bullsh*t. CHECK OUT THE MOVIE-RELATED GAME TRAILER AFTER THE JUMP…

Break Unleashes The New Horror Channel
Tuesday, June 15 by

Can't get enough of vampires, even the sparkly kind? Does high-fructose corn syrup mixed with red food coloring really get you amped? Feverishly writing your own script for Troll 3? Then you might want to check out Break's newly-risen Horror Channel, the internet's latest resting place for all things creepy, scary and at least partially undead.Not only will you find trailers for all of the latest horror flicks, you'll find the best in short videos, extras for films & TV shows and web-based horror series.  Or, if you just want to browse by your particular horror fetish — er, genre — you can do that, as well. Think of the Horror Channel as Screen Junkies's ugly, disfigured cousin we keep in the cellar and feed fish heads. He's too disturbing to play in our sandbox, so we made him one of his very own. God only knows what it's filled with though.Stalk on over to the Horror Channel HERE.

‘Breaking Bad’ as a Sitcom
Tuesday, June 15 by

Behold the awesome power of the laugh track. When added to the dark drama "Breaking Bad" it magically turns it into a sitcom about a zany father who won't leave his house. My favorite part of the video is the title sequence. They did a great job of cutting together the wackier character moments of the show. After that, the laugh track works in some parts, but I wouldn't exactly say there's a whole lot of set-up/punchline riffing. Let's not forget, the show is about a guy who sells meth and whose lung cancer is in remission. Cue the chuckles! Check out the "Breaking Bad" sitcom after the jump…

Zach Galifianakis Could Be Cartoon Fish ‘Mr. Limpet’
Tuesday, June 15 by

It's like the fish is his boner.The Incredible Mr. Limpet is a movie that was made nearly 50 years ago about a cartoon fish that fights Nazis. No wait, don't stop me. Seriously, Don Knotts played a man who transformed into a fish and left his old life behind to take on German U-boats in the ocean. Don't look at me like that, it's a real thing! Anyway, now Warner Bros. wants Zack Galifianakis to star as Mr. Limpet in the remake to be directed by Kevin Lima (Enchanted).The LA Times points out that "The Incredible Mr. Limpet has always seemed like one of those Hollywood remake projects that actually makes sense." Really, Steven Zeitchik of the LA Times? The movie didn't make sense back when it was originally conceived, and now you think in this post-post-post WWII era audiences are hungry for a Nazi fighting flounder? Granted, Inglourious Basterds did well, but that concept was easier to go along with, even if they did killer Hitler in the end **Retroactive Spoiler Alert!** But okay, let's make Galifianakis a fish. Whatever. I give up.

Lethargic Trailer For Sofia Coppola’s ‘Somewhere’
Tuesday, June 15 by

Sofia Coppola is up to her old tricks again, pointing a camera at people bored by hotel stays. Somewhere stars Stephen Dorff as a lazy bones actor laying around all the time at Hollywood's Chateau Marmont Hotel who's life is reinvigorated by the unexpected presence of his daughter. I guess I should point out that she's played by Elle Fanning, but I won't because I hate when children are more successful than I am. So unread that last sentence. Coppola wants you to think she's making a point with the plaster mold drying shot (aren't we all just waiting around for our own soul plaster to harden?), but I see the bigger picture. The laying around. The kitty-cat awards show. Stephen Dorff is obviously channeling Garfield. This will become obvious once you see the scene where he kicks Robert Schwartzman off a table. Check out Stephen Dorff's rich man problems after the jump…

Peter Jackson Will Protect ‘The Hobbit’ From Brett Ratner If Necessary
Tuesday, June 15 by

It turns out that along with David Yates (Harry Potter films) and David Dobkin (Fred Claus), Brett Ratner has also been considered to direct The Hobbit. I don't want to tell a studio on the brink of bankruptcy how to run their business, but bitch is you crazy? I thought MGM needed a hit. Is this some kind of Brewster's Millions situation where they need to intentionally lose all their money in order to win a larger fortune?? Does Robocop have something to do with this???? Luckily Peter Jackson won't let that happen.He's gone on record before to say, "If [directing the films is] what I have to do to protect Warner Bros’ investment, then obviously that’s one angle which I’ll explore…The other studios may not let me out of the contracts." Thank you, Peter Jackson. You're the only one preventing us from having to endure Miley Cyrus speaking Elvish. Or worse, singing auto-tuned Elvish. (Deadline)

RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE
Tuesday, June 15 by

Director: Paul W.S. AndersonCast: Milla Jovovich, Ali Larter, Wentworth MillerSynopsis: In a world ravaged by a virus infection, turning its victims into the Undead, Alice (Jovovich), continues on her journey to find survivors and lead them to safety.

6 Actors Who Need to Play a Villain
Tuesday, June 15 by

It's tough being a movie star. When actors find success or make it big they tend to stick to the same projects and stories that have made them a houshold name. Yes, I'm shooting you the stink-eye, Eddie Murphy, with all your Nutty Professors, Doctor Doolittles, and Daddy Day Cares. But then an actor will go and do something out of nowhere. Murphy in Harlem Nights and Dreamgirls showed his dramatic range even if the movies were not complete successes. So here are a few suggestions on meatier roles certain actors should consider before diving into that next dashing lead or crusading hero part.  Mel Gibson – SS Nazi Officer

‘Fraggle Rock’ Script Needs More Sex and Violence
Tuesday, June 15 by

Have you ever watched an episode of "Fraggle Rock" and thought, "Hey, this shit needs to be more f**king edgy and gritty, like I am, beotch!" If so, you're in luck.Director/Screenwriter Corey Edwards has taken to the interwebs to complain that the Weinsteins are squeezing him out of the 'Fraggle' script because his version is “not edgy enough.” I enjoy working with other writers and have no doubt that the RIGHT person could help make any script better. But to not even ask me? Adding insult to injury, the search is basically an open assignment. This means the net has been cast wide, virtually posting in the “classifieds” of the movie business. The Fraggles do not deserve such treatment. Now, I like "Fraggle Rock" as much as the next unoriginal retro-addicted douche bag, but I'm not exactly sure what type of treatment Fraggles "deserve." It's not like we're talking about the regular Muppets, here. If the Weinsteins was to remake Bad Lieutenant with the "Fraggle Rock" gang, I say let 'em. They're animals anyway, so let them lose their souls. (SlashFilm)

Confirmed: Sam Raimi To Direct Robert Downey Jr. In ‘Oz’ Prequel
Tuesday, June 15 by

It's official: Sam Raimi is on board to direct Disney's Wizard of Oz prequel. Robert Downey Jr. has also been confirmed, and will play the titular Wizard. The film will explore the character's rise from a circus wrangler in Kansas to a great and powerful sorcerer in the land of Oz.Based on the success of Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland, Disney has high hopes for the prequel. Like Alice, Oz is a new spin on a classic children's tale and will be shot in 3D. But unlike Alice, Oz will not be eerily similar to every other film Tim Burton has ever made. (Deadline)

First ‘Real Steel’ Set Photos
Tuesday, June 15 by

Filming began yesterday on Hugh Jackman's robo-pugilism adventure Real Steel and we have the first set photos courtesy of USA Today. In the film, Jackman plays a washed up boxer who, along with his son, promotes and coaches a robotic fighter to win a boxing championship. We get a good glimpse at the robot, Noisy Boy, in the first pic and note that this is not a CG character. That's an honest-to-goodness robot pictured with Jackman. Sure, there is always the danger that it might go haywire and attack the crew, but it's still far safer than working with "Rampage" Jackson. Once his cold eyes are upon you, you're already dry-humped. You just don't know it yet.CHECK OUT THE PHOTOS AFTER THE JUMP…

HBO’s ‘Bored to Death’ Season 2 Trailer
Monday, June 14 by

In the HBO comedy "Bored to Death," Jason Schwartzman plays a struggling writer who is trying his hand at detective work. As a struggling writer myself, the show inspired me to do a little detective work of my own. And as luck would have it, my keen detective skills helped me find this "Bored to Death" Season 2 trailer featuring Ted Danson and Zach Galifianakis. I also found a Helen Keller Simulator and some "Night Court" fanfiction, but I figured you'd be more impressed with the trailer. Watch the "Bored to Death" Season 2 trailer after the jump.

‘Eastbound & Down’ Season 2 Teaser
Monday, June 14 by

Danny McBride is back as Kenny Powers in September on HBO, but this teaser for the second season of "Eastbound & Down" isn't going to give you one lick of a look at him. If you like skulls though, it's pretty tight.Spend the rest of your time cuddled up with these links.Breaking Bad Is The Best Show On TV (TVSquad)World Naked Bike Riders Boycott BP (Asylum)Old Spice Actor Scores Big TV Deal (PopEater)WB To Do Don Quixote, Drink Terry Gilliam's Milkshake (FilmDrunk)How To Threaten a Coworker (HolyTaco)Christopher Walken: The Early Years (Unreality)Bro Getting Iced While Skateboarding (BroBible)Sit-Ups Have Never Looked So Good (TotalProSports)Canadian Cuties (Maxim)UFC 115 Fight Was At Risk Of Being Cancelled (CagePotato)10 DC Comic Characters That Should Of Been Adapted Before Jonah Hex (EgoTV)Two Sentence Movie Reviews (Smosh)Boobs And Superheroes (Pajiba)The Worst Stay-At-Home Dad (Atom)Most Expensive Soccer Ball Ever (MadeMan)

Guillermo del Toro To Announce Next Project At Comic-Con
Monday, June 14 by

Off-camera: a giant sandwich.Keep an eye out for Guillermo del Toro at this year's San Diego Comic-Con because he has big news. He shouldn't be that difficult to find. Just look for the heavyset guy with glasses and an unshaven neck. Ask a Convention Center employee if you have trouble. Guillermo's official site has this message from the director:Van Helsing (writing and producing) is still in talks and not quite certain. Even then, I would like to share my plans only at COMICON. I am taking it slowly and marking very, very carefully the calendar of projects that I will be involved as producer, writer, etc I will not announce the project I intend to direct until then . I am very happy to say that all the projects and partnerships being considered are both quite surprising and, I hope, powerful. Much as I want, I cannot say much more at this time but I anxiously await to share these with you. I will be shopping on the floor in San Diego for several days. See you there!!So what could this "quite surprising" news be? Is he going to play Magneto? I bet he'd make a great Magneto. He's already quite adept at bending metal chairs.

Chuck Norris Fender Bender
Monday, June 14 by

Chuck Norris always has the right of way.

‘True Blood’ Recap: Pack of Wolves S3E1
Monday, June 14 by

Hey gang. I've been tapped by my pals at SJ to cover "True Blood." Not because of my sterling prose or daring wit, but because I have HBO. So you're stuck with me. I'll keep it light and try to hit the key points of each episode. It will not be a shot-for-shot breakdown. Other sites handle that better than I could and if you wanted that, well, you could just watch the show, right?MORE AFTER THE JUMP…

Amber Heard and Rosamund Pike Might Enroll in ‘X-Men: First Class.’ Michael Fassbender May Drop Out
Monday, June 14 by

With production slated to begin soon for X-Men: First Class, Matthew Vaughn had better start convincing some attractive people to wear silly costumes. If this rumor is to be believed, he's doing exactly that. The Playlist picked up on a story in Production Weekly that 20th Century Fox has "strong interest" in bringing Amber Heard on to play a younger Mystique and former Bond Girl Rosamund Pike to play Moira MacTaggert. At this point consider this news merely a rumor. But to be certain someone had better check Amber's crevices for residual blue bodypaint. Then and only then, can we be certain she tested for the part. I nominate myself.And speaking of camera tests, the same article reports that Magneto shoe-in Michael Fassbender is not interested in testing for the role. What's his problem? Fear of helmet hair? They have CGI to correct that, Michael.

‘Cyrus’ Actress Marisa Tomei
Monday, June 14 by

Marisa Tomei is an actress we all know and want, despite those never ending Academy Award rumors. During her more than 30 year span as an actress of the stage and screen, she has aged like a fine wine in hotness. Both Before The Devil Knows Your Dead and The Wrestler can a test to that (nakey scenes). With this week's Cyrus opening up, she puts her smokin' hot talents to good use by playing the ultimate MILF role to Jonah Hill and John C. Reily.A word from Marisa: "I'm not that big a fan of marriage as an institution, and I don't know why women need to have children to be seen as complete human beings."It's like she was sculpted and programmed by a man and then sent out into the world to enchant us. Whoever is responsible deserves The Noble Peace Prize. See more pics of perfect Tomei after the jump.