This is the video that played when the writers for the now defunct "Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien" were introduced at the Creative Arts Emmys this past Sunday. I would have accepted the job at Red Lobster if it were offered to me. Their cheddar dinner rolls are much better than TBS's. (Vulture)
And the Emmy goes to these links.
Eli Roth Talks 'The Last Exorcism', Satan, And Why No Gore (Moviefone)
NYC Man Lives In Bathroom For 5 Days (Asylum)
What Does Your Beer Say About You (Ranker)
25 Wonderful Roller Blading Fails (HolyTaco)
James Cameron Shows Off 3D Camera (FilmDrunk)
Hollywood's Deadliest Hitmen (Maxim)
Guy Saves Kid The Gets Arrested For 5 Year Old DUI (BarStoolSports)
5 New Mtv Reality Show Ideas (EgoTV)
Do It For Charlie Day (Pajiba)
Now That's What I Call Graffiti (Unreality)
Don't Do Drugs, Do Trainers (TotalProSports)
24 Amazing Mailboxes (Smosh)
23 Hottest Rockstar Daughters (BroBible)
Miley Cyrus Gets Spanked By Mom On Video (CelebJihad)
Meet James Tone's Secret Weapon (CagePotato)
Will Arnett Saved 'Arrested Development' Creator Says (PopEater)
Make Your Own Playstation Table (MadeMan)
Fox Searchlight has dropped the trailer for Danny Boyle's 127 Hours. James Franco stars as Aron Ralston, the climber who amputated his own arm after bring trapped between rocks for almost five days. It's one of those feel good movies. At least the parts with Kata Mara.
Simon Beaufoy, who also worked with Boyle on Slumdog Millionaire, wrote the screenplay, and has said that there is no dialogue for an entire hour of the story. Psssshhhh, nice job "writing," Simon. Can we get serious for a second though? I'm excited to see this film. I love the energy and unique storytelling of Slumdog, and I hope 127 Hours brings the same entertainment value without inducing too many cringes. Crushed appendages are just plain yucky. But fortitude in dire straits is yummy.
127 Hours hits theaters November 5, 2010.
Check out the trailer after the jump…
The kid stays in the picture! Of course, the "picture" in question is The Social Network, and by "kid" I mean a controversial coke party scene featuring Justin Timberlake. According to Vulture, the scene in question features Napster co-founder Sean Parker (Timberlake) at a party where two girls offer coke to guests via their naked breasts. One of the girls is only 17. Director David Fincher has decided to leave the scene in the film despite the fact that a researcher involved in the production has admitted it is almost entirely fictional.
Representatives for Facebook have taken issue with the scene as well, but are you really going to trust what they have to say? They also claim to do everything in their power to keep predators from accessing their network, but I've never received so much as a warning.
Diora Baird, arguably the sexiest woman on Earth, Elisabeth Rohm, and the not hot chick Harold Parrineau have been cast in 'Transit'. THR has more details but I'll preface this block quote by saying it doesn't expand on Diora's perfect measurements:
Antonio Negret is directing the drama about a band of thieves on the run from a bank robbery and the suburban family they come across during their escape. When the criminals stash their stolen money in the family's SUV at a rest stop, the road trippers unwittingly draw the murderous band of outlaws on their trail.
Note to thieves: don't stow your money in a location that has the ability to leave with it. A better option would have been to safely tuck it away in Diora's cleavage. Look, I'm sorry to go on about her, but the woman should be behind velvet ropes in a museum. Or a strip club. Whichever one allows greater access.
Taylor Lautner is howling mad at an RV company for not delivering his trailer on time. Get it? I said "howling mad" because he plays a wolf boy in those awful movies. *sigh*
At any rate, Lautner is so distraught over the matter that he has filed a lawsuit against the company, McMahon's RV, claiming both "annoyance" and "emotional distress."
On the one hand, he allegedly paid $300,000 for the trailer, so I can sort of see his point. On the other hand, he paid $300,000 for a trailer, and someday he'll use it to bang more chicks than I will ever meet even though he looks like one of the rats from those old Quizno's ads. When I look at it that way, I'm more inclined to hope the trailer catches fire while the rich, pretty boy, crybaby is inside. (TMZ via Movie Line)
Arielle Kebbel has been the go to pretty young blonde thing for D-List movies, from Soul Plane to this month's Vampires Suck. We don't hold that against her though because as you can tell from the above pic she is definitely hot, even if her movies sometimes suck. Vampires.
A word from Arielle: "I'm struggling to let go of you… This might be the hardest thing I'll ever have to do."
So many ladies have felt what you are feeling right now. All I can say is, time heals all wounds.
More pics of Arielle after the jump…
City Island starring Andy Garcia and Julianna Margulies releases on DVD and Blu Ray tomorrow, Tuesday the 24th, and Screen Junkies wants you to see it so we're giving away a 3-Month subscription to Netflix! You can add City Island to your queue and move it to the top spot above all that weird animated stuff and old "Murphy Brown" episodes you've been meaning to catch up on.
All you have to do is follow Screen Junkies on Twitter and tweet the funniest caption you can muster for the still frame above.
Contest ends Wednesday at 12PM EST. The winner will be announced via Twitter, Facebook, and on the site.
You can enter as many times as you'd like, but make your captions sing. Trust me, you want to jump on this new Netflix craze.
This new "Dexter" promo trumps the "Blue's Clues" style one we posted last week. It doesn't give away too much, unless you're naughty and haven't caught up on last season. If that's the case, leave the office right now and camp out in front of your TV all day. Then when you're finished, come back and watch this promo. It'll get you totally amped for next season, as Dexter is in for a world of sh*t. It's going to be fascinating to watch him deal with the spoiler that I can't discuss because you've got more important things to do than stay up to date on one of the best shows on television.
"Dexter" returns September 26th on Showtime.
Check out the promo after the jump…
All us lucky folks saw it at Comic Con last month, and now it's lumbered onto the internets for you to devour. AMC has released the almost five-minute long trailer for their new series "The Walking Dead." If this doesn't make you crap your pants than check your pulse because you might be a zombie. Frank Darabont wrote and directed pilot and is exec producing the series alongside Gale Anne Hurd, the producer of Aliens and Terminator.
AMC also announced that the show will premiere Oct. 31 with a supersized 90-minute episode. That's right, on Halloween night. It's a calculated effort to keep all you man-children off the streets on an evening that's reserved for kiddies. Or better yet, terrorize your neighbors early and then make it back to the couch with your stolen loot for "The Walking Dead" premiere.
Check out the trailer after the jump…
In 30 years, wearing 'Blueface' will be considered racist.
Good news for Avatar fans! You now have a reason to live for at least three-to-four more years (besides those yearly trips to Branson with your mother).
In an interview with the New York Post, director James Cameron said he's still in the "tons of notes" stage of his production of Avatar 2, and the sequel won't be completed until at least 2014. But it may be worth the wait, since the director plans on filming the third installment at the same time.
"Right now, the thinking is that [Parts] Two and Three are going to be done together," he said. "They'll be released separately, probably a year apart or maybe even two, but they'll be done in a bunch. I'm mapping out the story line right now, so there's a proper arc that plays out over two films but buttons nicely at the end of Two, so you don't get this horrible second-act/end-of-'The Matrix' feeling."
What a jerk! The only feeling I had at the end of The Matrix Reloaded was one of pure euphoria. Granted, I watched the film on a return flight from Mexico, and a condom full of "Blanco" had ruptured in my large intestine, but still. Cameron should keep his opinions to himself. (Cinema Blend)
Director Steven Spielberg is trying his hand at television (again) with an adaptation of the popular graphic novel series, "Locke & Key." Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, and Josh Friedman are all on board for the project which is still searching for a network.
First released in 2008, Locke & Key revolves around three kids who end up watching over a secret, spooky New England mansion filled with mystical doors that transport them to different worlds and give them special powers (like turning into a ghost).
The source material was created by Joe Hill, the son of author Stephen King. Fans of "Quantum Leap" will remember that it was actually Dr. Sam Beckett who was responsible for inspiring most of King's major works. Considering that Hill was probably heavily influenced by his father, I think it's safe to add "Locke & Key" to Dr. Beckett's long list of time traveling accomplishments, right along side saving Jackie Kennedy and inventing the Heimlich Maneuver.
Godspeed, Dr. Beckett, wherever you are. (Vulture via Movie Line)
Doug Liman is officially on board to direct All You Need Is Kill, Empire Online is reporting. Based on the 2004 sci-fi novel by Hiroshi Sakurazaka, the film will follow the story of a soldier who is killed while fighting aliens, but finds himself caught in a time loop, reliving the events leading up to his death over and over again. With each subsequent death, the character improves his skills while attempting to break the cycle.
This really makes me mad. Warner Bros. acted like I was nuts when I pitched them my idea for a mash-up of Starship Troopers and Groundhog Day. They kept telling me things like "you're not authorized to be in here" and "put your pants back on." Well, we'll see who's crazy when they get a call from my lawyer, Robert Kardashian.
I prefer this version. It's less talky and John Williams's score on piano sounds quite foreboding.
Here are today's silent links.
Spike Lee On How BP Is Worse Than The Mafia (Moviefone)
New York City Alligators–From Sewer To Supper (Asylum)
8 Most Badass Flowers In Video Games (Ranker)
How To Make An Epic Chinese Traffic Jam Even Worse (HolyTaco)
4 Minutes Of Werner Herzog/David Lynch's 'My Son, My Son' (FilmDrunk)
Top 20 Movie Badasses (Maxim)
Good 'Ole Fashion Wilderness Brawl (BarStoolSports)
10 Books Lindsay Lohan Read While In Prison (EgoTV)
5 Instant Netflix Television Series Recommendations (Pajiba)
Two Obscure Actors In A Series Of Incredible Roles (Unreality)
Hiroshima Carp Catch Of The Year–The Sequel (TotalProSports)
Courtney Love's Twitter Meltdown (Smosh)
Rachel Bilson Tiny Bikini Pics (CelebJihad)
Firemen Ghost Ride Their Fire Engine (BroBible)
KJ Noons Isn't A Dirty Fighter; He Just Plays One On TV (CagePotato)
'Machete' Star Danny Trejo Gets Wild With Bloody Thirsty Pictures (PopEater)
Your Earthquake-Proof Bed (MadeMan)
Good news for people who like breasts and carnivorous fish! A sequel for Piranha 3D is officially in the works.
Despite a slower than expected start at the box office, the film did fairly well when considering its budget was only $30 million. Couple that with an overwhelmingly positive critical reception, and it's easy to see why the Weinsteins and Co. signed off another installment.
Since the fourth dimension is time, I'm assuming Piranha 4D will involve the piranhas taking control of some sort of water-based time machine and traveling back to the Old West. Unless, of course, they end up naming it Piranha 3D Part 2, which would just be stupid. (Cinema Blend)
Public Transit is a b*tch.
After letting Tower Heist sit on the shelf for almost four years, Universal has given it the green light with Ben Stiller starring, Brett Ratner directing, and Imagine's Brian Grazer producing. Because if anyone can make a project work that hasn't been working, it's the mastermind behind X-Men 3. Deadline has the deets:
Ben Stiller stars as the overworked manager of a luxury building who, along with other staff, lost their pensions to a Bernie Madoff-like Wall Street crook. It so happens that the fraudster is being held under house arrest in the luxury penthouse apartment upstairs, and the manager and four cohorts figure a heist will make them whole.
Bumbling, inept idiots try to pull off a major heist. Have we not seen this concept countless times already? And not that I have anything against Stiller, but I don't understand why he'd want to play this type of character again. He's already been a bumbling security guard twice in the Night at the Museum movies, and a bumbling (insert occupation) in almost everything else. Now he's relying on Ratner to save a stale concept. Unless that concept is a cupcake, I'm not seeing him succeeding.
For those of you who think the Bangladeshi Incredible Hulk was the last word in foreign made Hulk knock-offs, prepare to have your pathetic world shattered. Behold, the Indian version of The Hulk (a.k.a. Athisayan), from director Vinayan T. Rajendarum.
The clip below depicts a ten-year-old boy with Hulk-like superpowers who goes on a murderous rampage. He then commits suicide by walking into the ocean while his family looks on in horror. Pretty dark stuff for a film that bills itself as a family comedy. But in all fairness, it's still funnier than The Back-Up Plan and When in Rome combined.
Watch the Indian Hulk lay the smack down after the jump…
Previously on "True Blood": Bill met with Sookie's dream friends. Sam curb-stomped Crystal's redneck father. Lafayette and Jesus took said redneck for help. Eric got permission from The Authority to ice The King. The King ripped out a newscaster's spine and basically declared war on humankind. Ok, on to this week.
We finally learn what Sookie is courtesy of Bill: a fairy (or well, part fairy). The gayest of all the mythological creatures. Apparently all the fairies were thought to be extinct thanks to vampires hunting them down for their sweet, sweet blood. Sookie wants to know if this is why Bill likes her, and he's like, "of course not" but we all know different, right? I mean, did you see how easily he pulled stripper tail a few eps back?
More after the jump..
Gianna Michaels, like many hard working adult film stars, came from the fast food industry before being discovered for her natural talents. They have led her to several adult industry awards and a small part in Piranha 3D, where she is eaten by the carnivorous fish while parasailing nude, of course.
A word from Gianna: "I worked at a hamburger joint up in Seattle called Dick's."
I won't comment on the irony.
More pics of Gianna after the jump…
HBO, "Eastbound & Down," Kenny Powers, and Danny McBride would like you to know that Twitter's KFUCKINGP has nothing to do with them. For more than a year, a comedy writer from NYC has been posing as fictional washed-up baseball star Kenny Powers and delighting followers with his clever, very McBride-like tweets. He isn't McBride though, as the actor himself told Vulture:
"Kenny Powers is a full-grown man, so he would never Twitter. But Kenny is also a man of the people. He doesn't care if the public feels the need to impersonate him. That just puts him up there with the big dogs like Santa and Elvis. Knowing that it's a very funny committed fan makes us proud."
That's a burn for all you bloggers out there. You grown-ass men shouldn't share your thoughts, grievances, and lazy Sunday night plans with the world. Sure, Anonymous NYC Aspiring Comedy Writer found some success with it, but he sacrificed his masculinity in the process. Fortunately Screen Junkies has raw male power to spare, so we're always tweeting the sh*t out of sh*t on our account HERE!!!!
"Eastbound & Down" returns to HBO September 26th, and it's Kenny Powers approved.
Here’s my latest brilliant assessment of the new fall TV shows. This week it’s time to scrutinize sitcoms about couples. While these sitcoms can sometimes be confused with sitcoms about family — which I have already broken down for you — these shows focus on the daily shenanigans of a particular couple, or couples.
Let’s take a look…
WATCH IT: “Perfect Couples” (NBC), Midseason
There's trouble a brew'n at TBS. Page 6 is reporting that Conan O'Brien's writers aren't happy with the pay being doled out by their new employer. Apparently they are under the impression that the network, which until recently conisisted of nothing but Atlanta Braves' games and old Hanna-Barbera cartoons, is swimming in cash.
"This is no surprise," said an insider. "One show was broadcast network; the other is basic cable. It's a different pay scale. It's not just writers; it's everybody."
Despite the complaints, no formal agreement has been made. The Writers Guild is still in talks with TBS, so it's possible that the network will find a way to come up with more cash. Perhaps they could stop paying homeless drifters to be in the George Lopez studio audience and just switch to a laugh track. Although in all fairness, the technology to create laughter for that show is probably a few years away.
Tom Hanks is considered one of the "nicest" guys in Hollywood. Sandra Bullock has the same "nice guy" image, but with a vaginal twist. Now comes word the pair may star in Stephen Daldry's Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, thereby creating an overwhelming pile of nice-ness unlike anything the world has ever seen.
As if that wasn't nice enough, Eric Roth is adapting the script, which tells the story of a young boy who lost his father on September 11th. Terrorist attacks aren't very nice, but considering Roth also adapted the screenplay for a little movie called Forrest Gump, this film will probably be oozing with so much niceness that I'll have to punch my grandma in the face just to even things out.
I love you, Nana. (First Showing)
USAToday has a first look at Ron Howard's new film, The Dilemma. It stars Vince Vaughn as a guy who discovers that his best friend's (Kevin James) wife (Winona Ryder) is cheating on him with Channing Tatum. Not the real Channing Tatum, but the character he plays. In case you're confused as to where this movie came from, it used to be called Cheaters.
It's great to see Ron Howard taking on a comedy again. I've grown weary of his religious projects with Tom Hanks in long, stringy hair. Hopefully The Dilemma will be more Parenthood than EdTV. I'd also like to mention that the above scene takes place at Chicago's famous hot dog joint, Weiner Circle. A more dangerous place to bring Vaughn and James I cannot think of.
A captain never gets a minute to himself.
Someone named BigSugar imagined what it would be like if a development exec asked them to write a movie based on Slinky, the big metal coil for kids. The truly frightening part is with all the board game and Magic 8 Ball movies in development, this meeting is probably scheduled for a writer for Monday. (JohnAugust)
Here are your weekend links.
Six Second Review: 'The Switch' (Moviefone)
Crack Dealer Celebrates 13th Birthday In Jail (Asylum)
The 12 Greatest Real-Life Superheroes Of All Time (Ranker)
25 Pictures Of Women Doing Manly Things (HolyTaco)
'Super-Hip' Seattle Pastor Doesn't Like Twilight (FilmDrunk)
It's Beer Fest Season! (Maxim)
Back To School Shaping Up To Be Cool (BarStoolSports)
Classic Comic Book Ads (EgoTV)
Juliette Lewis Career Assessment (Pajiba)
Alternate Ending TO Popular Movies (Unreality)
Give'em Your Balls, Oakland A's Ball Boy Picks Up Chicks (TotalProSports)
3D Movie Revamps We'd Like To See (Smosh)
Justin Bieber Has Sex With A Manatee (CelebJihad)
15 Words For Vagina That Women Hate (BroBible)
Kimbo Slice To Make A Lot Of Money As A Mediocre Boxer (CagePotato)
DJ Marc Mysterio Sues Brandy For Millions (PopEater)
Snoop Dogg Blows Up Armored Truck (MadeMan)
Adam Scott is so certain that you'll like his new film Piranha 3D that if you don't, he'll personally come over to your house and act out his scenes for you and yours friends. At least, that's what he tweeted yesterday. Today, he laid out the stipulations for Vanity Fair, which I'm betting most of you would willingly abide by for his visit:
“Few things: Will need the aforementioned firearm and fish. Will also need local Elisabeth Shue look-alike to run dialogue with, a plaid shirt, two high-fives (one before we run the scenes, one after), peanut M&M’s, a map with the closest Red Roof Inn circled on it (I won’t be staying there, I just like knowing where it is. I’ll be staying with you), a 700-word essay on why you neglected to recognize that Piranha 3D totally f**king shreds, Perrier, a quick guitar lesson, one grenade, dinner with your family, and directions to the airport.”
The only request I have a problem with is the 700-word essay. If there's one thing I can't stand in this world, it's mandated writing. When I put fingertips to keyboard it's on my own terms, Scott. (Movieline)
Bosnia Rambo possesses the artillery, brawn, and balls to take down whatever enemy may cross his path. The only problem is he's not shooting his bullets and arrows at anyone. It's just Bosnia Rambo, firing off into nothingness and crouching down low so a snake can slither its way across his rifle. Sure, snakes can make anyone look bad-ass, but present enemies really hit home that fact. If the director would just cut in some shots of some other dude firing back this video would be exxxtreeeeeeme!
Check out Bosnia Rambo in action after the jump…