Paula Patton plays the victim in Denzel Washington’s murder case in the film Déjà Vu. But she’s also not the victim because she’s still alive. Listen, I don’t have time to explain the whole space-time continuum thing right now. Go read Stephen Hawking after you ogle Paula.A word from Paula: "Well you always joke. There’s that countdown to the sex scene. Like, 'Okay, five days until sex scene. No more carbs."I totally agree. Okay, one hour until sex scene. Finish your burrito.Check out more pics of carb-less Paula after the jump.
Daybreakers is available on Blu Ray and DVD tomorrow, and Screen Junkies is giving away 5 copies! In the film, Ethan Hawke plays a vampire scientist working on a substitute for human blood before the last drop is drained from the remaining humans. Sam Neill has glowing amber eyes and Willem Dafoe wields a crossbow. What more do you want?!All you have to do is post on the SJ Facebook fan page the funniest caption you can muster to accompany the still frame above.If you're not already awesome and a fan of Screen Junkies on Facebook then become one, post a caption, and you'll be entered to win. Click HERE to be whisked away to our Facebook page.Contest ends Wednesday at midnight and the winner will be announced via Facebook, Twitter and on the site.You can enter as many times as you like. Captions smeared in blood won't be accepted. Use your keyboards, people.
"Saturday Night Live" is officially a hit again thanks to Betty White and her whore mouth. The Facebook-supported, hood-approved actress officially rocked it and helped the show score its highest ratings since a pre-election November 2008 episode.Many of the episode's sketches coasted by on the "Grandma says naughty words" schtick of which White is clearly a master. In fact, her muffin sketch is all anyone is talking about today as cubicles everywhere tune into "SNL" via Hulu. I hope I don't get caught by the boss but whatever. It wouldn't be the first time I was fired because of an old woman's vagina. (Reuters)
Andy Rooney went on "60 Minutes" last night and basically explained that he’s old as he decomposed in front of us. He doesn’t understand your Lady Gagas and your Ushers….
"Those mozzarella sticks had better be piping hot when they finally get here, or I'll pitch a real bitch-fit."In order to keep a tight lid on the secret series finale, "Lost" producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse filmed four endings for the puzzling series. Viewers who can't wait for the DVD bonus features, won't have to wait long to see them. In fact, they'll be shown about a half an hour after the credits roll and everyone has had sufficient time to shout, "Aww, what the fuh?!!!"The brass-balled Jimmy Kimmel will air the alternate endings exclusively on his "Jimmy Kimmel Live: Aloha to Lost" after the super-sized episode, with the "Lost" cast joining him in-studio. No need to stay up so late though. I've actually been tipped off to the alternate conclusions. They play out as follows:The first alternate ending has Jack returning to the mainland to find that a statue of Ben now sits in the Lincoln Memorial.Much like "The Sopranos," "Lost" will also end with a song by Journey. In this instance, "Anyway You Want It" blasts over the victory party scene after Lapidus exclaims, "We're all gonna get laid!!!"Finally, it comes to light that Hurley did actually fart that time in the van with Miles and the corpse. With a man his size eating all that undercooked boar's meat, it just makes sense that a few would slip out from time to time.(/Film)
Iron Man 2 has been in theaters for less than a week, but that didn't stop director Jon Favreau from speculating on the villain for Iron Man 3. And if Favreau has his way, Tony Stark will be taking on The Mandarin in the next installment of the popular franchise. "You've got to do The Mandarin", says the director, who has been teasing this in the films already with tiny references to the Ten Ring organization, "but the problem is, the way he's depicted in the comic books… you don't want to see that." The "problem" Favreau is referring to is the fact that the character, an evil descendant of Genghis Khan, has been criticized for being nothing more than a negative Asian stereotype. However, I have no doubt that Hollywood can work around this problem, changing the The Mandarin to a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant businessman hellbent on oppressing minorities and destroying the environment, while still maintaining the essence of the character. However, since Tony Stark is set to appear in the upcoming Avengers film, work on Iron Man 3 will have to wait until at least 2012. And if my sources inside the government are correct, by that time Hollywood will have already been destroyed in a limited nuclear exchange with the Chinese, making concern about The Mandarin a moot point. (Empire)
Do you like "The Office"? Do you like Indians (if you are Indian, please disregard)? Then you're gonna love the new sitcom, "Outsourced," which premieres on NBC this fall.Based on the 2006 romantic comedy by the same name, the show follows the exploits of an American manager, played by Ben Rappaport, who is put in charge of a recently outsourced call center in India. According to Deadline Hollywood, the show is billed as “the Midwest meets the exotic East in a hilarious culture clash.”Wait, someone from the Midwest traveling abroad? Outrageous!I haven't been this psyched about a fish-out-of-water cultural comedy since a certain street-smart jive-talking American teamed up with a lovable Engrish-speaking Asian to bring down an international conspiracy. Of course, I'm taking about Brett Ratner's The Killing Fields.
Thirty-five years ago, this article's headline would have made absolutely no sense. Today, it has the power to send millions of nerds into a frenzy. TomTom has released a Darth Vader voice for their GPS system (a.k.a. nav computer). For just $13, the Sith Lord can guide you anywhere you need to go. Unfortunately, most Star Wars fans already know the way to their parents' basement, so the application is virtually useless. In addition to Vader, the voices of C-3PO, Yoda, and Han Solo are all slated to be released this summer. That's all fine and good, but I long for the day when I can type my address into my TomTom and hear the soothing voice of Jar Jar Binks tell me, "Wessa Goin' Home!" (Collider) Check out Darth Vader's TomTom recording session after the jump.
I don't feel all that comfortable sharing pictures of children on the Internet, but I am only here to serve and people have been eager to get a look at Matt Reeves' Let Me In. Though, for my own piece of mind, I'd like to ask that all perverts direct their lustfull eyeballs elsewhere and not at these first pics from the maligned remake of Let The Right One In. If you're willing to view responsibly, you can get a better look at Kick-Ass's Chloe Moretz as Abby the vampire girl and Kodi Smit-McPhee as her new friend Owen, in the pictures after the jump. And please sign the guestbook.
Iron Man 2 opened in first place on Friday night, earning an estimated $52 million, easily surpassing Alice in Wonderland with the biggest debut of 2010. But when it comes to superhero movies, Batman still reigns supreme at the box office.While weekend projections for IM2 are an impressive $135 million, it's a far cry from the $158.4 million brought in by The Dark Knight, which holds the all-time first weekend record.I guess this shouldn't come as a surprise. Batman could clearly beat Iron Man in a fight. Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne are both geniuses and millionaire playboys, but Bruce Wayne is motivated by an unquenchable thirst for vengeance. And as we all know, vengeance is a powerful motivator. Just ask my old high-school nemesis, Joseph Sinclair. I showed him…him and that wife of his. (Collider)
What is it with people and their five fingers?Toby Jones is in final negotiations to play villain Armin Zola in Captain America: The First Avenger. Title not look familiar? That's because it used to be The First Avenger: Captain America. Give yourself a few days to adjust. Like when your parents got divorced.The British actor is best known for playing Truman Capote in Infamous, Karl Rove in W., and the grocery clerk with a penchant for gun slinging in The Mist. He'll be joining Hugo Weaving, who's already been cast as Red Skull, in an effort to give Captain America a really tough time. Jones' character, Armin Zola, is a scientific genius specializing in genetics and cloning. So don't be surprised when a herd of two-headed sheep stampede an entire city. (/Film)
**Honk honk honk!!!**Here are your weekend links.Terrence Howard to Play Nelson Mandela (Moviefone) Intimate Gymnastics Will Pump You Up (Asylum)Top Celebrity Commencement Speeches of All Time (PopEater)25 Worst Moms Ever (HolyTaco)RPattz & KStew Make It Official (FilmDrunk)When Adult Cartoon Series Collide (Unreality)Wrestling Backflip Fail (TotalProSports)10 Best Movie Cliffhangers (Maxim)BJ Penn Is Still a -365 Favorite (CagePotato)Miss USA Disgraces Her Country (CelebJihad)10 Best Twictures (Smosh)Gwyneth Paltrow Career Assessment (Pajiba)Iron Manly (Atom)13 Ways to Ruin a Date (MadeMan)Showtime Southern 500 Odds (AllLeftTurns)
Inception set up a viral game called Mind Crime that if you beat it you could watch the new trailer for the film. Well guess what? Screw that noise! Someone else played that shiz and now we're all reaping the benefits. The new trailer looks downright awesome. I still have no idea what the F is going on, but I WANT to know, and someone once told me that's a win on the marketing side of things. This film looks like a serious trip, and with Christoper Nolan behind the wheel I have no doubt the destination will be Giddyland. I'll bring the diapers if you bring the Sour Patch Kids. Check out the trailer after the jump. Inception gets inside theaters and your mind July 15.
Hey everyone, meet Luke Sampson Busey! Proud papa Gary Busey introduced his 10-week-old son on Thursday evening's "Entertainment Tonight." Girlfriend Steffanie Sampson is the person responsible for bringing another Busey into the world on Feb. 23. My sources tell me world leaders are gathering at a secret summit this evening to decide how to proceed.
Okay, new secret to success. If at first you don't succeed, throw out all your ideas and retell someone else's story with the addition of zombies. It worked for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and the new "Melrose Place." ZING!!! (Tired concepts get tired jokes.)The Beatles are Hollywood's latest undead remix with the announcement that Double Feature has optioned Alan Goldsher's novel Paul Is Undead. The book tells the history of the undead band as they invade the world while evading zombie hunter Mick Jagger and Eighth Level Ninja Lord Yoko Ono. Racist much? I mean, just because Mick Jagger is British doesn't automatically make him a monster killing expert. It's stereotypes like that that hold us back as a people. (Deadline)
Inception continually insists on spitting in gravity's face. If Sir Isaac Newton laid eyes upon this new poster his powdered wig would spin round from pure outrage. What's the floor?! What's the ground?! City-dwellers have to spend most of the day just trying to maintain their balance. It's the maintenance workers I feel the most sorry for, though. The high rise window washers must curse their existence with each rising sun. (IMPAwards)
"I found this in Mrs. Lee Jones' sock drawer."Will Smith and Columbia Pictures have officially chosen a date, so you can stop asking all the time, Will Smith's mom. As foretold in the Ancient Scrolls of Fresh Princia, Men in Black 3D will indeed open Memorial Day Weekend 2012. Deadline reports that the sequel has set the film for a May 25th, 2012 release. Known in many circles as "Big Willy Weekend." Note: circles of idiots.Tommy Lee Jones has yet to sign on, nor has Josh Brolin. The production is in the process of finalizing their deals. It's unclear at this point which role Jaden Smith will be shoe-horned into, but I'm sure it will be justly earned. He'll earn it you guys.
This Sunday, May 9th, it's Mother's Day, a holiday that celebrates all the gloriousness that is “Mom.” It’s a day to show love and appreciation for the woman who raised you. But what if she didn’t do all that great of a job? Well, you're in luck, son! Screenjunkies has designed some very special greeting cards for the parentally challenged Mommy Dearests out there, and they can all be yours, right now. Send one with adoration, or send one with contempt, just as long as you send one. It’s really the thought that counts. Click on the TITLE of each video to take you to that card's individual page. Then forward the URL to Mom or Grandma! Or just send her the whole batch!
Though best known for her role as Ashley on the popular series "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air," Tatyana Ali has continued to act (to some peoples surprise), has not gotten arrested for drugs, has not had any children with loser men, and has launched a music career. A word from Tatyana: "It doesn't matter what the outcome is as long as I did it."The outcome matters if it's an STD. But if you get a pretty awesome sex story out of it, I guess it's worth it.More pics of Tatyana all grown up after the jump.
Every young actress in Hollywood is vying for the lead in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. It's like their Captain America.Executives at Sony insist that they are nowhere near casting the part, but Carey Mulligan, Ellen Page, Kristen Stewart, Mia Wasikowska, Natalie Portman, Keira Knightley, Anne Hathaway, Olivia Thirlby, and Scarlett Johannsen are actively campaigning for the role all the same. Mulligan has lunched with the screenwriter and Page has written a heartfelt note to the producer. Johannsen gave Hathaway an upper-decker and Kristen Stewart has just kinda stood around looking emo. Despite these sincere attempts, director David Fincher may cast an unknown for the part because he feels the material is strong enough to not require a name actress.Although Brad Pitt has reportedly been offered the male lead. They should just cast Angelina. I'm sure she has a dragon tattooed on her someplace. (Deadline)
"Mmmm, I'd like to be the meat in this sandwich."A little birdy told Deadline that Dwayne Johnson is sniffing the butt of a lead role in Fast & Furious 5, or the title Paul Walker wrote in crayon on his Trapper Keeper, Fast Five. Johnson is already starring in the revenge drama Faster where he'll also be driving fast. We got it, Rock. You're a man. You like fast cars, fast women, and eating chili peppers with Vin Diesel. It would be really cool if you'd let Paul tag along sometime. He doesn't think you guys like him. Awww, come back here, Paul! You weren't supposed to hear that!
Jedi drunk with power. There should be an aptitude test administered before such a title is granted. And I'm not talking about the physical abilities section. I'm talkin' Scantron, analogies, that crap. Otherwise you're going to graduate a slew of Jedi who pretend their lightsabers are dicks. (BuzzFeed)May these links be with you. Career Watch: Gerard Butler (Moviefone)How You Search for Boobs (Asylum)Heidi Montag's Surgery Obsession (PopEater)25 Awesome Motorcycle Helmets (HolyTaco)'Groundhog Day' Reimagined as a Crappy Rom-Com (FilmDrunk)15 Awesome Cyborg Animals (Unreality)When Bobsledding and Skateboarding Collide (TotalProSports)10 Best Donuts in America (Maxim)Daley Serves Koscheck at Pre-Fight Press Conference (CagePotato)Rihanna Butt Pics Collection (CelebJihad)15 Most Bizarre College Courses (Smosh)Blockbusters, Leading Actors, Undressed (Pajiba)10 Indie Awesome Comedies You Missed (MadeMan)NASCAR Skydiver Crashes (AllLeftTurns)20 Sexy Latinas (RegretfulMorning)
Variety reports FOX will release prequel Rise of the Apes on June 24, 2011, with Rupert Wyatt confirmed to direct. In a lie I just made up, he promised me he wouldn't cast Marky Mark or Helena Bonham Carter in any of the roles. Oooo Burton burn. Rise of the Apes is "an origins story set in present-day San Francisco. The film is a reality-based cautionary tale, where man's own experiments with genetic engineering lead to the development of intelligence in apes and the onset of a war for supremacy." When you play God with monkeys you get talking monkeys that can do math and read. Those skills alone make them superior to the average American!Peter Jackson's visual effects company WETA Digital will handle all of the effects on the film. They will render, for the first time ever in the film series, photo-realistic apes rather than costumed actors. Hmmmm, interesting (strokes sparse-haired chin). I hope they consider intermixing some practical effects as well. You really can't beat the realism of the apes in Congo.Stop playing God, Dylan Baker!!!
Professional sex-haver/indie film darling Sasha Gray has landed the role of Vince's girlfriend on the seventh season of "Entourage." From TV Guide: This is by no means a small cameo, but a major role as the new long-term girlfriend of Adrian Grenier’s Vince Chase. “I think Sasha’s going to have a very successful transition,” says Entourage creator Doug Ellin, who was impressed by the performer’s leading role in Oscar-winning director Steven Soderbergh’s 2009 film, “The Girlfriend Experience.” He won't admit it to TV Guide but Ellin was also impressed by the AVN Adult Movie Award winner's roles in Butt Sex Bonanza, Seinfeld: A XXX Parody, Butt Man's Stretch Class 3, Fox Holes, and I Wanna Bang Your Sister.It's said that Vince's new relationship is based off the past relationships of Charlie Sheen, which is a spoiler alert in and of itself. Her character is definitely going to end up dead in a ditch. I imagine that the plotline will require Turtle to dump her in the ocean, but opts for the ravine when he gets worried he'll scuff up his kicks if he drags her that far.
Kerry Washington starred in Ray alongside Jamie Foxx, who went on to win an Oscar. She then starred in The Last King of Scotland alongside Forest Whitaker, who went on to win an Oscar. Hey, male leads, you might want to look into working with Kerry. A word from Kerry: "I don't ever want to play a black prostitute."Then I suggest you keep getting acting gigs. More pics of the classy Kerry after the jump.
"Is your refrigerator runnin'?! J'amon!" Apparently Michael Jackson and Russell Crowe used to be the best of pals. After L.A. Confidential the two become very close, I assume because of their mutual adoration for Jerky Boys albums, and Jackson would often prank-call Crowe. The former gladiator told GQ UK, "A gruff voice would say something was wrong, then this tiny little voice said, ‘Don't worry. This is Michael."Don't worry?! That's when the worrying begins! I'd prefer a loan shark with emphysema and straight razors for hands than Michael Jackson. It's just a good thing Crowe wasn't in the same room. The Sorry, Wrong Number scenerio would have ended with a rotary phone embedded in the King of Pop's skull. (Vulture)
Kristen Wiig is ready to make repetitive funny noises in full THX Pro Cinema Sound. The "Saturday Night Live" star has shelled out her hard-earned MacGruber dough to option and adapt Monica Drake's novel Clown Girl. She's got her eye on the lead role of Nita aka Sniffles the Clown, a street fair entertainer struggling to make ends meet while trying to resist the lure of selling her body to clown fetishists.There are clown fetishists? THAT'S SICK! **He says as he scrubs grease paint out of his boxers** (Deadline)
They're linked like E.T. and Elliott.We were excited when we heard that J.J. Abrams would be tipping his hat to the early films of Steven Spielberg for his next directorial project. Only because we were certain we'd see an alien shark that hunts treasure. Apparently, that's NOT the case though.Turns out that his soon-to-premiere super secret-double-probationary teaser for Super 8 is not a Cloverfield sequel or prequel or squeekquel after all. It's a teaser for the joint he's doing with Spielberg. The one that doesn't feature any Nazi-killing alien sharks./Film has a source who saw the teaser and provided an in-depth description. I've posted it after the jump along with an EXCLUSIVE screen cap. Don't get mad at me if the information turns out to be wrong. I'm just telling you what a guy heard from another guy.TEASER SYNOPSIS AND SCREEN CAP AFTER THE JUMP…
Ultimate Parkour Challenge – Watch more Funny VideosAfter a decade of hell-raisin and hijinx in the Arctic Circle, MTV is bringing the Dudesons to the US of A. Same goes for parkour, but France instead of the Arctic Circle. Well, parkour has already been building in popularity in America (I blame Casino Royale), but now it's a live televised challenge! Check out a preview of all the crazy wall climbing and monkey action above. "The Dudesons in America" and "The Ultimate Parkour Challenge" premiere tonight on MTV @ 10/9c
Hells Angels founding member Sonny Barger OR Mickey Rourke circa 1994?In addition to Potsdamer Platz, Mickey Rourke is circling another Tony Scott project, and he's circling this one menacingly on a motorcycle while yelling hate speech. Typical Mickey.Rourke is up for the role of the outlaw Sonny Barger in Hells Angels, a script that Scott has been developing for ten years. Now, Scott Frank has been brought in to rework the script that tells the story of a young cop who infiltrates the nefarious gang. This is spot-on casting. I can't think of a single actor more appropriate than Mickey Rourke for the grizzled Hells Angels founder. You could have a motorcycle growing out of your ass, and Mickey Rourke would still be more appropriate for the role. (Deadline)